package main

var builtinmail = []string{
	`We all like praise, but a hike in our pay is the best kind of ways.
`,
	`Rule of the Great:
	When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep
	thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.
`,
	`Most general statements are false, including this one.
		-- Alexander Dumas
`,
	`Do you have exactly what I want in a plaid poindexter bar bat??
`,
	`When all else fails, read the instructions.
`,
	`UH-OH!!  I think KEN is OVER-DUE on his R.V. PAYMENTS and HE S having a
NERVOUS BREAKDOWN too!!  Ha ha.
`,
	`Pause for storage relocation.
`,
	`Very few things actually get manufactured these days, because in an
infinitely large Universe, such as the one in which we live, most things one
could possibly imagine, and a lot of things one would rather not, grow
somewhere.  A forest was discovered recently in which most of the trees grew
ratchet screwdrivers as fruit.  The life cycle of the ratchet screwdriver is
quite interesting.  Once picked it needs a dark dusty drawer in which it can
lie undisturbed for years.  Then one night it suddenly hatches, discards its
outer skin that crumbles into dust, and emerges as a totally unidentifiable
little metal object with flanges at both ends and a sort of ridge and a hole
for a screw.  This, when found, will get thrown away.  No one knows what the
screwdriver is supposed to gain from this.  Nature, in her infinite wisdom,
is presumably working on it.
`,
	`He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.
		-- J.R.R. Tolkien
`,
	`Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.
		-- Snoopy
`,
	`Promise her anything, but give her Exxon unleaded.
`,
	`You can get *anywhere* in ten minutes if you drive fast enough.
`,
	`Don t kiss an elephant on the lips today.
`,
	`Alas, I am dying beyond my means.
		-- Oscar Wilde [as he sipped champagne on his deathbed]
`,
	`I always choose my friends for their good looks and my enemies for their
good intellects.  Man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies.
		-- Oscar Wilde,  The Picture of Dorian Gray 
`,
	`This message was written with vi!  (not that anyone in the world cares)
		-- seen on an old message from an anon.penet.fi address
`,
	`Man has never reconciled himself to the ten commandments.
`,
	`Calm

Gravity is the source of lightness,
Calm, the master of haste.
A lone traveller will journey all day, watching over his
belongings;
Only safe in his own bed may he lose them in sleep.
So the captain of a great vessel should not act lightly or hastily.
Acting lightly, he loses sight of the world,
Acting hastily, he loses control of himself.
The captain can not treat his great ship as a small boat;
Rather than glitter like jade
He must stand like stone.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`QOTD:
	 If I could walk that way, I wouldn t need the cologne, now would I? 
`,
	`I m going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I m going to Lourdes.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`modconf (0.2.37) stable unstable; urgency=medium
  [...]
  * Eduard Bloch:
    - fixed Makefile broken Marcin Owsiany a while ago. The default manpage
      has been overwritten with the polish translation. I still wonder why
      nobody noticed this before. Closes: #117474
  [...]
		-- Eduard Bloch <blade@debian.org>  Sun, 28 Oct 2001 12:53:27 +0100
`,
	`The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians
who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool
all of the people all of the time.
		-- Franklin Adams
`,
	`I base my fashion taste on what doesn t itch.
		-- Gilda Radner
`,
	`The linuX Files -- The Source is Out There.
		-- Sent in by Craig S. Bell, goat@aracnet.com
`,
	`The Abrams  Principle:
	The shortest distance between two points is off the wall.
`,
	`Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that
nobody else wants.
		-- Andy Warhol
`,
	`The less you know about computers the more you want Microsoft!
        -- Microsoft ad campaign, circa 1996

(Proof that Microsoft s advertising _isn t_ dishonest!)
`,
	`I m going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.
		-- John Foreman
`,
	`Finagle s Eighth Law:
	If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

Finagle s Ninth Law:
	No matter what results are expected, someone is always willing to
	fake it.

Finagle s Tenth Law:
	No matter what the result someone is always eager to misinterpret it.

Finagle s Eleventh Law:
	No matter what occurs, someone believes it happened according to
	his pet theory.
`,
	`Surprise!  You are the lucky winner of random I.R.S. Audit!  Just type
in your name and social security number.  Please remember that leaving
the room is punishable under law:

Name
#
`,
	`A New York City ordinance prohibits the shooting of rabbits from the
rear of a Third Avenue street car -- if the car is in motion.
`,
	`As I currently don t have a floppy drive in my computer, I d like to
make an  emergency cdrom  ;)
		-- Eugene Crosser <crosser@average.org>
`,
	`No, that d be silly.
		-- Larry Wall in <199710221710.KAA24242@wall.org>
`,
	`The goal of science is to build better mousetraps.  The goal of nature
is to build better mice.
`,
	`I truly wish I could be a great surgeon or philosopher or author or anything
constructive, but in all honesty I d rather turn up my amplifier full blast
and drown myself in the noise.
		-- Charles Schmid, the  Tucson Murderer 
`,
	`The Great Movie Posters:

*A Giggle Gurgling Gulp of Glee*
With Pretty Girls, Peppy Scenes, and Gorgeous Revues -- plus a good story.
		-- Tea with a Kick (1924)

Whoopie!  Let s go!... Hand-picked Beauties doing cute tricks!
GET IN THE KNOW FOR THE HEY-HEY WHOOPIE!
		-- The Wild Party (1929)

YOU HEAR HIM MAKE LOVE!
DIX -- the dashing soldier!
	DIX -- the bold adventurer!
		DIX -- the throbbing lover!
		-- The Wheel of Life (1929)

SEE CHARLES BUTTERWORTH DRIVE A STREETCAR AND SING LOVE
SONGS TO HIS MARE  MITZIE !
		-- The Night is Young (1934)
`,
	`Law of Continuity:
	Experiments should be reproducible.  They should all fail the same way.
`,
	`People will do tomorrow what they did today because that is what they
did yesterday.
`,
	`I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!
`,
	` It s God.  No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God. 
(By Matt Welsh)
`,
	`Everything you ve learned in school as  obvious  becomes less and less
obvious as you begin to study the universe.  For example, there are no
solids in the universe.  There s not even a suggestion of a solid.
There are no absolute continuums.  There are no surfaces.  There are no
straight lines.
		-- R. Buckminster Fuller
`,
	`Nurture

The Way bears all things;
Harmony nurtures them;
Nature shapes them;
Use completes them.
Each follows the Way and honours harmony,
Not by law,
But by being.
The Way bears, nurtures, shapes, completes,
Shelters, comforts, and makes a home for them.
Bearing without possessing,
Nurturing without taming,
Shaping without forcing,
This is harmony.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`  Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.
		-- Josh Billings
`,
	`DE:  The Soviets seem to have difficulty implementing modern technology.
     Would you comment on that?

Belenko:  Well, let s talk about aircraft engine lifetime.  When I flew the
	  MiG-25, its engines had a total lifetime of 250 hours.

DE:  Is that mean-time-between-failure?

Belenko:  No, the engine is finished; it is scrapped.

DE:  You mean they pull it out and throw it away, not even overhauling it?

Belenko:  That is correct.  Overhaul is too expensive.

DE:  That is absurdly low by free world standards.

Belenko:  I know.
-- an interview with Victor Belenko, MiG-25 fighter pilot who defected in 1976
    Defense Electronics , Vol 20, No. 6, pg. 102
`,
	`For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!
`,
	`It s been a business doing pleasure with you.
`,
	` The algorithm to do that is extremely nasty.  You might want to mug
someone with it. 
		-- M. Devine, Computer Science 340
`,
	`I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
		-- William Allen White
`,
	`It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
`,
	`The computer should be doing the hard work.  That s what it s paid to do,
after all.
		-- Larry Wall in <199709012312.QAA08121@wall.org>
`,
	`The life which is unexamined is not worth living.
		-- Plato
`,
	`The documentation is in Japanese.  Good luck.
		-- Rich $alz
`,
	`A pig is a jolly companion,
Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt --
A pig is a pal, who ll boost your morale,
Though mountains may topple and tilt.
When they ve blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you,
When they ve turned on you, Tory and Whig,
Though you may be thrown over by Tabby and Rover,
You ll never go wrong with a pig, a pig,
You ll never go wrong with a pig!
		-- Thomas Pynchon,  Gravity s Rainbow 
`,
	`Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western
	Civilization?
Gandhi:	I think it would be a good idea.
`,
	`<xtifr> you don t have to be insane to work here....oh wait, yes you do!
        :)
`,
	`Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants,
today it s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
		-- Dave Barry
`,
	`There s no point in being grown up if you can t be childish sometimes.
		-- Dr. Who
`,
	`Employees and their families are not eligible.
`,
	`Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.
		-- Sir Walter Raleigh
`,
	`Documentation:
	Instructions translated from Swedish by Japanese for English
	speaking persons.
`,
	`Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
		-- Ken Kesey
`,
	`They re only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!
`,
	`<Midgar> From all the sterotypes about Aussies, I figure you guys are
         really tough.
<Midgar> ;p
<krusto> we ll throw koala s at you
`,
	`* woot is now known as woot-dinner
* Knghtbrd sprinkles a little salt on woot
<Knghtbrd> I ve never had a woot before...  Hope they taste good
<woot-dinner> noooo!
<woot-dinner> don t eat me!
* Knghtbrd decides he does not want a dinner that talks to him...  hehe
`,
	`I know the disposition of women: when you will, they won t; when
you won t, they set their hearts upon you of their own inclination.
		-- Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)
`,
	`HP had a unique policy of allowing its engineers to take parts from stock as
long as they built something.   They figured that with every design, they were
getting a better engineer.  It s a policy I urge all companies to adopt. 
-- Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak,  Will Wozniak s class give Apple to teacher? 
   EE Times, June 6, 1988, pg 45
`,
	`Thirteen at a table is unlucky only when the hostess has only twelve chops.
		-- Groucho Marx
`,
	`	THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #12: LITHP

This otherwise unremarkable language is distinguished by the absence of
an  S  in its character set; users must substitute  TH .  LITHP is said
to be useful in protheththing lithtth.
`,
	` Roman Polanski makes his own blood.  He s smart -- that s why his movies work. 
		-- A brilliant director at  Frank s Place 
`,
	`The term  fire  brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene
of shooting employees who make mistakes.  We will now refer to this process
as  deleting  an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk).  The
employee is simply there one instant, and gone the next.  All the terrible
temper tantrums, crying, and threats are eliminated.
		-- Kenny s Korner
`,
	`While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are
safe, for you can watch both of his.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.
		-- Daniel Dennett
`,
	`He thought he saw an albatross
That fluttered  round the lamp.
He looked again and saw it was
A penny postage stamp.
 You d best be getting home,  he said,
 The nights are rather damp. 
`,
	`Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a
rainy Sunday afternoon.
		-- Susan Ertz
`,
	`Is it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is meant to
be discarded:  that the whole point is to always see it as a soap bubble?
`,
	`Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
		-- Addison H. Hallock
`,
	`| |-sshd---tcsh-+-dpkg-buildpacka---rules---sh---make---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make
		-- While packaging XFree86 for Debian GNU/Linux
`,
	`What I want to find out is -- do parrots know much about Astro-Turf?
`,
	`Death wish, n.:
	The only wish that always comes true, whether or not one wishes it to.
`,
	`All of the animals except man know that the principal business of life is
to enjoy it.
`,
	`When you live in a sick society, just about everything you do is wrong.
`,
	`There can be no twisted thought without a twisted molecule.
		-- R. W. Gerard
`,
	`Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping
the top of the barrel.
		-- Gore Vidal
`,
	`Any coward can sit in his home and criticize a pilot for flying into a
mountain in a fog.  But I would rather, by far, die on a mountainside
than in bed.  What kind of man would live where there is no daring?
And is life so dear that we should blame men for dying in adventure?
Is there a better way to die?
		-- Charles Lindbergh
`,
	`Remember though that
THERE IS NO GENERAL RULE FOR CONVERTING A LIST INTO A SCALAR.
		-- Larry Wall in the perl man page
`,
	`What is the difference between a Turing machine and the modern computer?
It s the same as that between Hillary s ascent of Everest and the
establishment of a Hilton on its peak.
`,
	`The language provides a programmer with a set of conceptual tools; if these are
inadequate for the task, they will simply be ignored.  For example, seriously
restricting the concept of a pointer simply forces the programmer to use a
vector plus integer arithmetic to implement structures, pointer, etc.  Good
design and the absence of errors cannot be guaranteed by mere language
features.
		-- Bjarne Stroustrup,  The C++ Programming Language 
`,
	`Watch your mouth, kid, or you ll find yourself floating home.
		-- Han Solo
`,
	`A large number of installed systems work by fiat.  That is, they work
by being declared to work.
		-- Anatol Holt
`,
	`Swim at your own risk.
`,
	`Booze is the answer.  I don t remember the question.
`,
	`Keep it short for pithy sake.
`,
	`Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
	We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
	Clean-favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
	And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
	 Good morning,  and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich -- yes, richer than a king --
	And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
	To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
	And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
	Went home and put a bullet through his head.
		-- E. A. Robinson,  Richard Cory 
`,
	`All life evolves by the differential survival of replicating entities.
		-- Dawkins
`,
	`Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.
		-- J.R.R. Tolkien
`,
	`A wise man can see more from a mountain top than a fool can from the bottom
of a well.
`,
	`It is impossible to experience one s death objectively and still carry a tune.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`[32m《题金陵渡》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
金陵津渡小山楼，一宿行人自可愁。
潮落夜江斜月里，两三星火是瓜州。
`,
	`Women, deceived by men, want to marry them; it is a kind of revenge
as good as any other.
		-- Philippe De Remi
`,
	`You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
`,
	`Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a
hole in his head.
`,
	`	Work Hard.
	Rock Hard.
	Eat Hard.
	Sleep Hard.
	Grow Big.
	Wear Glasses If You Need  Em.
		-- The Webb Wilder Credo
`,
	`In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
`,
	`The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
		-- Edmund Burke
`,
	`I m not available for comment..
`,
	`Neckties strangle clear thinking.
		-- Lin Yutang
`,
	`NEW YORK (CNN) -- Internet users who spend even a few hours a week online
at home experience higher levels of depression and loneliness than if
they had used the computer network less frequently, The New York Times
reported Sunday.  The result ...  surprised both researchers and
sponsors, which included Intel Corp., Hewlett Packard, AT&T Research and
Apple Computer.
`,
	`Your business will assume vast proportions.
`,
	`The more control, the more that requires control.
`,
	` It was the Law of the Sea, they said.	Civilization ends at the waterline.
Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top. 
		-- Hunter S. Thompson
`,
	`The Surgeon General has determined that cigarette smoking is hazardous to your
health.
`,
	`Vail s Second Axiom:
	The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the
	amount of work already completed.
`,
	`Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
`,
	`Nezvannyi gost --khuzhe tatarina.
	[An uninvited guest is worse than the Mongol invasion]
		-- Russian proverb
`,
	`Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
		-- Euripides
`,
	`Should I start with the time I SWITCHED personalities with a BEATNIK
hair stylist or my failure to refer five TEENAGERS to a good OCULIST?
`,
	`Don t hit me!!  I m in the Twilight Zone!!!
`,
	`You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess.
`,
	`You will be run over by a bus.
`,
	`All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships.
`,
	`Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie?
Norm:  Daddy wuvs you.
		-- Cheers, The Mail Goes to Jail

Sam:  What d you like, Normie?
Norm: A reason to live.  Gimme another beer.
		-- Cheers, Behind Every Great Man

Sam:  What will you have, Norm?
Norm: Well, I m in a gambling mood, Sammy.  I ll take a glass of whatever
      comes out of that tap.
Sam:  Oh, looks like beer, Norm.
Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.
		-- Cheers, The Executive s Executioner
`,
	`When you meet a master swordsman,
show him your sword.
When you meet a man who is not a poet,
do not show him your poem.
		-- Rinzai, ninth century Zen master
`,
	`You have a truly strong individuality.
`,
	`Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in
the world that just don t add up.
`,
	`All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.
		-- The Book of Bokonon / Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
`,
	`<ultima> netgod: My calculator has more registers than the x86, and
		-- thats- sad
`,
	`The Marines:
	The few, the proud, the dead on the beach.
`,
	`Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
		-- Mickey Mouse
`,
	`Include me out.
`,
	`Don t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
		-- Scottish Proverb
`,
	`Lank: Here we go.  We re about to set a new record.
Earl: (to the crowd) How about a date?
Lank: We ve done it.  Earl has set a new record.  Turned down by
      20,000 women.
		-- Lank and Earl
`,
	`Anger is momentary madness.
		-- Horace
`,
	`Difficult Paths

With but a small understanding
One may follow the Way like a main road,
Fearing only to leave it;
Following a main road is easy,
Yet people delight in difficult paths.
When palaces are kept up
Fields are left to weeds
And granaries empty;
Wearing fine clothes,
Bearing sharp swords,
Glutting with food and drink,
Hoarding wealth and possessions -
These are the ways of theft,
And far from the Way.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`It is like saying that for the cause of peace, God and the Devil will
have a high-level meeting.
		-- Rev. Carl McIntire, on Nixon s China trip
`,
	`Madison s Inquiry:
	If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?
`,
	`Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing.
		-- Walt Kelly,  Potluck Pogo 
`,
	` I m willing to sacrifice anything for this cause, even other people s lives. 
`,
	`No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`The hardest part of climbing the ladder of success is getting through
the crowd at the bottom.
`,
	`At the hospital, a doctor is training an intern on how to announce bad news
to the patients.  The doctor tells the intern  This man in 305 is going to
die in six months.  Go in and tell him.   The intern boldly walks into the
room, over to the man s bedisde and tells him  Seems like you re gonna die! 
The man has a heart attack and is rushed into surgery on the spot.  The doctor
grabs the intern and screams at him,  What!?!? are you some kind of moron?
You ve got to take it easy, work your way up to the subject.  Now this man in
213 has about a week to live.  Go in and tell him, but, gently, you hear me,
gently! 
	The intern goes softly into the room, humming to himself, cheerily
opens the drapes to let the sun in, walks over to the man s bedside, fluffs
his pillow and wishes him a  Good morning!    Wonderful day, no?  Say...
guess who s going to die soon! 
`,
	`There is nothing more silly than a silly laugh.
		-- Gaius Valerius Catullus
`,
	` But what we need to know is, do people want nasally-insertable computers? 
`,
	`Your sister swims out to meet troop ships.
`,
	`Introducing, the 1010, a one-bit processor.

INSTRUCTION SET
	Code	Mnemonic	What
	0	NOP		No Operation
	1	JMP		Jump (address specified by next 2 bits)

Now Available for only 12 1/2 cents!
`,
	`Our informal mission is to improve the love life of operators worldwide.
		-- Peter Behrendt, president of Exabyte
`,
	`Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed
down-stairs a step at a time.
		-- Mark Twain,  Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar
`,
	`Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to
point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very
fast.  People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are
often given to wonder what s so great about point A that so many people
from point B are so keen to get there and what s so great about point B
that so many people from point A are so keen to get _____there.  They often
wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell
they wanted to be.
		-- Douglas Adams,  The Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy 
`,
	`All laws are simulations of reality.
		-- John C. Lilly
`,
	`Am I accompanied by a PARENT or GUARDIAN?
`,
	`Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and
they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment
to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon.
		-- H. L. Mencken
`,
	`Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he ll invite himself over for dinner.
		-- Calvin Keegan
`,
	`Tell the truth or trump--but get the trick.
		-- Mark Twain,  Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar 
`,
	`It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
`,
	`Nice guys finish last.
		-- Leo Durocher
`,
	`It is not best to swap horses while crossing the river.
		-- Abraham Lincoln
`,
	`f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.
`,
	`QOTD:
	 I won t say he s untruthful, but his wife has to call the
	dog for dinner. 
`,
	`Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
		-- Aesop
`,
	` What if  is a trademark of Hewlett Packard, so stop using it in your
sentences without permission, or risk being sued.
`,
	`Gimme Twinkies, gimme wine,
    Gimme jeans by Calvin Kline ...
But if you split those atoms fine,
    Mama keep  em off those genes of mine!

Gimme zits, take my dough,
    Gimme arsenic in my jelly roll ...
Call the devil and sell my soul,
    But Mama keep dem atoms whole!
		-- Milo Bloom,  The Split-Atom Blues,  in  Bloom County 
`,
	`Lizzie Borden took an axe,
And plunged it deep into the VAX;
Don t you envy people who
Do all the things ___YOU want to do?
`,
	`I used to think romantic love was a neurosis shared by two, a supreme
foolishness.  I no longer thought that.  There s nothing foolish in
loving anyone.  Thinking you ll be loved in return is what s foolish.
		-- Rita Mae Brown
`,
	`Never try to teach a pig to sing.  It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
		-- Lazarus Long,  Time Enough for Love 
`,
	`The Least Successful Police Dogs
	America has a very strong candidate in  La Dur , a fearsome looking
schnauzer hound, who was retired from the Orlando police force in Florida
in 1978.  He consistently refused to do anything which might ruffle or
offend the criminal classes.
	His handling officer, Rick Grim, had to admit:  He just won t go up
and bite them.  I got sick and tired of doing that dog s work for him. 
	The British contenders in this category, however, took things a
stage further.   Laddie  and  Boy  were trained as detector dogs for drug
raids.  Their employment was terminated following a raid in the Midlands in
1967.
	While the investigating officer questioned two suspects, they
patted and stroked the dogs who eventually fell asleep in front of the
fire.  When the officer moved to arrest the suspects, one dog growled at
him while the other leapt up and bit his thigh.
		-- Stephen Pile,  The Book of Heroic Failures 
`,
	`One size fits all.
`,
	`[32m《临洞庭上张丞相》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
八月湖水平，涵虚混太清。
气蒸云梦泽，波撼岳阳城。
欲济无舟楫，端居耻圣明。
坐观垂钓者，徒有羡鱼情。
`,
	`The Bird of Time has but a little way to fly ...
and the bird is on the wing.
		-- Omar Khayyam
`,
	`Somewhere in Tenafly, New Jersey, a chiropractor is viewing  Leave it
to Beaver !
`,
	`Ask five economists and you ll get five different explanations (six if
one went to Harvard).
		-- Edgar R. Fiedler
`,
	`Why is it that when you DIE, you can t take your HOME ENTERTAINMENT
CENTER with you??
`,
	`There are never any bugs you haven t found yet.
`,
	`We must know, we will know.
		-- David Hilbert
`,
	`If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
`,
	`The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
`,
	`You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
`,
	`Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people
are right more than half of the time.
		-- E. B. White
`,
	`<Madax> ahh
<Madax> a gathering of geeks....
<Madax> I can smell it now
`,
	`Harp not on that string.
		-- William Shakespeare,  Henry VI 
`,
	` You would do well not to imagine profundity,  he said.   Anything that seems
of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note.
Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care.
Because death is momentous, give it no thought; because victory is important,
give it no thought; because the method of achievement and discovery is less
momentous than the effect, dwell always upon the method.  You will strengthen
yourself in this way. 
		-- Jessica Salmonson,  The Swordswoman 
`,
	`1648 files (84%) out of the files that I mirror disappeared.  Since
my delete threshold was set at 90%, all those files are now missing
from my hard drive.  It s going to take a loooong time to fetch those
again via 14.4kbps!
		-- Brian C. White
`,
	`You d better smile when they watch you, smile like you re in control.
		-- Smile,  Was (Not Was) 
`,
	`I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery.  I insist on
believing that some men are my equals.
		-- Brigid Brophy
`,
	` The subspace _W inherits the other 8 properties of _V. And there aren t
even any property taxes. 
		-- J. MacKay, Mathematics 134b
`,
	`Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like
other people.
		-- James Russell Lowell,  My Study Windows 
`,
	`You will be divorced within a year.
`,
	`The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines.  They gave him
love and he invented marriage.
`,
	`If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few
people die past the age of a hundred.
		-- George Burns
`,
	`You have junk mail.
`,
	`I want a WESSON OIL lease!!
`,
	`Giving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and
car keys to teenage boys.
		-- P. J. O Rourke
`,
	`In the force if Yoda s so strong, construct a sentence with words in
the proper order then why can t he?
`,
	`One of the things that hamper Linux s climb to world domination is the
shortage of bad Computer Role Playing Games, or CRaPGs. No operating system
can be considered respectable without one.
		-- Brian O Donnell, odonnllb@tcd.ie
`,
	`Journalism is literature in a hurry.
		-- Matthew Arnold
`,
	`* Endy needs to consult coffee :P
<Endy> coffee the bot person, not coffee the beverage :)
<knghtbrd> consulting the beverage may help too  =>
`,
	`I m not afraid of death -- I just don t want to be there when it happens.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`Beam me up, Scotty, there s no intelligent life down here!
`,
	`Your program is sick!  Shoot it and put it out of its memory.
`,
	`Lessness:
	A philosophy whereby one reconciles oneself with diminishing
expectations of material wealth:  I ve given up wanting to make a
killing or be a bigshot.  I just want to find happiness and maybe open
up a little roadside cafe in Idaho. 
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`I had the rare misfortune of being one of the first people to try and
implement a PL/1 compiler.
		-- T. Cheatham
`,
	`Ever feel like life was a game and you had the wrong instruction book?
`,
	`Message will arrive in the mail.  Destroy, before the FBI sees it.
`,
	`Mediocrity finds safety in standardization.
		-- Frederick Crane
`,
	`	Against his wishes, a math teacher s classroom was remodeled.  Ever
since, he s been talking about the good old dais.  His students planted a small
orchard in his honor; the trees all have square roots.
`,
	`If God had not given us sticky tape, it would have been necessary to invent it.
`,
	`Subject: Linux box finds it hard to wake up in the morning

I ve heard of dogs being like their owners, but Linux boxen?
		-- Peter Hunter <peter.hunter@blackfriars.oxford.ac.uk>
`,
	`By long-standing tradition, I take this opportunity to savage other
designers in the thin disguise of good, clean fun.
		-- P. J. Plauger,  Computer Language , 1988, April
		   Fool s column.
`,
	`America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`momentum, n.:
	What you give a person when they are going away.
`,
	`Absolute:  Independent, irresponsible.  An absolute monarchy is one in which
the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.  Not
many absolute monarchies are left, most of them having been replaced by
limited monarchies, where the sovereign s power for evil (and for good) is
greatly curtailed, and by republics, which are governed by chance.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`A Difficulty for Every Solution.
		-- Motto of the Federal Civil Service
`,
	`Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
`,
	`Half a bee, philosophically, must ipso facto half not be.
But half the bee has got to be, vis-a-vis its entity.  See?
But can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee,
When half the bee is not a bee, due to some ancient injury?
`,
	`I should have been a country-western singer.  After all, I m older than
most western countries.
		-- George Burns
`,
	`Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing.
`,
	`Delay not, Caesar.  Read it instantly.
		-- Shakespeare,  Julius Caesar  3,1

Here is a letter, read it at your leisure.
		-- Shakespeare,  Merchant of Venice  5,1

	[Quoted in  VMS Internals and Data Structures , V4.4, when
	 referring to I/O system services.]
`,
	`Real computer scientists despise the idea of actual hardware.  Hardware has
limitations, software doesn t.  It s a real shame that Turing machines are
so poor at I/O.
`,
	`Each man is his own prisoner, in solitary confinement for life.
`,
	` Anyone attempting to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of
course, living in a state of sin. 
		-- John Von Neumann
`,
	`These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
`,
	`Inaction

The follower of knowledge learns as much as he can every day;
The follower of the Way forgets as much as he can every day.
By attrition he reaches a state of inaction
Wherein he does nothing, but nothing remains undone.
To conquer the world, accomplish nothing;
If you must accomplish something,
The world remains beyond conquest.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	` The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make
empty prophecies.  The danger already exists that mathematicians have made
a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the
bonds of Hell. 
		-- Saint Augustine
`,
	`If you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn t a horse.
`,
	`But I always fired into the nearest hill or, failing that, into blackness.
I meant no harm;  I just liked the explosions.  And I was careful never to
kill more than I could eat.
		-- Raoul Duke
`,
	`It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen,  Side Effects 
`,
	`	 The glory of creation is in its infinite diversity. 
	 And in the way our differences combine to create meaning and beauty. 
		-- Dr. Miranda Jones and Spock,  Is There in Truth No Beauty? ,
		   stardate 5630.8
`,
	`When love is gone, there s always justice.
And when justice is gone, there s always force.
And when force is gone, there s always Mom.
Hi, Mom!
		-- Laurie Anderson
`,
	`You definitely intend to start living sometime soon.
`,
	`A city is a large community where people are lonesome together
		-- Herbert Prochnow
`,
	`bit, n:
	A unit of measure applied to color.  Twenty-four-bit color
	refers to expensive $3 color as opposed to the cheaper 25
	cent, or two-bit, color that use to be available a few years ago.
`,
	`Why would anyone want to be called  Later ?
`,
	`As someone pointed out, you could have an attribute that says  optimize
the heck out of this routine , and your definition of heck would be a
parameter to the optimizer.
		-- Larry Wall in <199709081854.LAA20830@wall.org>
`,
	`Even historians fail to learn from history -- they repeat the same mistakes.
		-- John Gill,  Patterns of Force , stardate 2534.7
`,
	`	 Many have seen Topaxci, God of the Red Mushroom, and they earn the
name of shaman,  he said.  Some have seen Skelde, spirit of the smoke, and
they are called sorcerers.  A few have been privileged to see Umcherrel, the
soul of the forest, and they are known as spirit masters.  But none have
seen a box with hundreds of legs that looked at them without eyes, and they
are known as idio-- 
	The interruption was caused by a sudden screaming noise and a flurry
of snow and sparks that blew the fire across the dark hut; there was a brief
blurred vision and then the opposite wall was blasted aside and the
apparition vanished.
	There was a long silence.  Then a slightly shorter silence.  Then
the old shaman said carefully,  You didn t just see two men go through
upside down on a broomstick, shouting and screaming at each other, did you? 
	The boy looked at him levelly.   Certainly not,  he said.
	The old man heaved a sigh of relief.   Thank goodness for that,  he
said.   Neither did I. 
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Light Fantastic 
`,
	`A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there
*for the rest of your life*.
		-- Jim Samuels
`,
	`<Knghtbrd> Studies prove that research causes cancer in 43% of laboratory
           rats
<CQ> knghtbrd- yeah, but 78% of those statistics are off by 52%...
`,
	`What does education often do?  It makes a straight cut ditch of a
free meandering brook.
		-- Henry David Thoreau
`,
	`One big pile is better than two little piles.
		-- Arlo Guthrie
`,
	`Join in the new game that s sweeping the country.  It s called  Bureaucracy .
Everybody stands in a circle.  The first person to do anything loses.
`,
	`That that is is that that is not is not.
`,
	`... the privileged being which we call human is distinguished from
other animals only by certain double-edged manifestations which in
charity we can only call  inhuman. 
		-- R. A. Lafferty
`,
	`If a man slept by day, he had little time to work.  That was a
satisfying notion to Escargot.
		--  The Stone Giant , James P. Blaylock
`,
	`May those that love us love us; and those that don t love us, may
God turn their hearts; and if he doesn t turn their hearts, may
he turn their ankles so we ll know them by their limping.
`,
	` Ooohh..  FreeBSD is faster over loopback, when compared to Linux
over the wire . Film at 11. 
		-- Linus Torvalds
`,
	`You can t have everything.  Where would you put it?
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`	A program should be light and agile, its subroutines connected like a
strings of pearls.  The spirit and intent of the program should be retained
throughout.  There should be neither too little nor too much, neither needless
loops nor useless variables, neither lack of structure nor overwhelming
rigidity.
	A program should follow the  Law of Least Astonishment .  What is this
law?  It is simply that the program should always respond to the user in the
way that astonishes him least.
	A program, no matter how complex, should act as a single unit.  The
program should be directed by the logic within rather than by outward
appearances.
	If the program fails in these requirements, it will be in a state of
disorder and confusion.  The only way to correct this is to rewrite the
program.
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`And here I wait so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going thru all of these things twice
		-- Dylan,  Memphis Blues Again 
`,
	`I have stripped off my dress; must I put it on again?  I have washed my feet;
must I soil them again?
When my beloved slipped his hand through the latch-hole, my bowels stirred
within me [my bowels were moved for him (KJV)].
When I arose to open for my beloved, my hands dripped with myrrh; the liquid
myrrh from my fingers ran over the knobs of the bolt.  With my own hands I
opened to my love, but my love had turned away and gone by; my heart sank when
he turned his back.  I sought him but I did not find him, I called him but he
did not answer.
The watchmen, going the rounds of the city, met me; they struck me and
  wounded me; the watchmen on the walls took away my cloak.
[Song of Solomon 5:3-7 (NEB)]
`,
	`Olmstead s Law:
	After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
`,
	`Nobody suffers the pain of birth or the anguish of loving a child in order
for presidents to make wars, for governments to feed on the substance of
their people, for insurance companies to cheat the young and rob the old.
		-- Lewis Lapham
`,
	`Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more
deadly in the long run.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`Is this the line for the latest whimsical YUGOSLAVIAN drama which also
makes you want to CRY and reconsider the VIETNAM WAR?
`,
	`I suggest a new strategy, Artoo: let the Wookie win.
		-- C3P0
`,
	`[32m《琵琶行・并序》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
元和十年，余左迁九江郡司马。明年秋，送客湓浦口，闻舟中夜弹琵琶者。
听其音，铮铮然有京都声。问其人，本长安倡女，尝学琶琵于穆曹二善才。
年长色衰，委身为贾人妇。遂令酒使快弹数曲。曲罢悯然，自叙少小时
欢乐事，今漂沦憔悴，转徒于江湖间余出官二年，恬然自安，感斯人言，
是夕始觉有迁谪意。因为长句歌以赠之，凡六百一十六言。命曰《琵琶行》。
��
浔阳江头夜送客，枫叶荻花秋瑟瑟。
主人下马客在船，举酒欲饮无管弦。
醉不成欢惨将别，别时茫茫江浸月。
忽闻水上琵琶声，主人忘归客不发。
寻声暗问弹者谁，琵琶声停欲语迟。
移船相近邀相见，添酒回灯重开宴。
千呼万唤始出来，犹抱琵琶半遮面。
转轴拨弦三两声，未成曲调先有情。
弦弦掩抑声声思，似诉平生不得志。
低眉信手续续弹，说尽心中无限事。
轻拢慢捻抹复挑，初为霓裳后六幺。
大弦嘈嘈如急雨，小弦切切如私语。
嘈嘈切切错杂弹，大珠小珠落玉盘。
间关莺语花底滑，幽咽泉流水下滩。
水泉冷涩弦凝绝，凝绝不通声渐歇。
别有幽愁暗恨生，此时无声胜有声。
银瓶乍破水浆迸，铁骑突出刀枪鸣。
曲终收拨当心画，四弦一声如裂帛。
东船西舫悄无言，唯见江心秋月白。
沉吟放拨插弦中，整顿衣裳起敛容。
自言本是京城女，家在虾蟆陵下住。
十三学得琵琶成，名属教坊第一部。
曲罢常教善才服，妆成每被秋娘炉。
五陵年少争缠头，一曲红消不知数。
钿头银篦击节碎，血色罗裙翻酒污。
今年欢笑复明年，秋月春风等闲度。
弟走从军阿姨死，暮去朝来颜色故。
门前冷落车马稀，老大嫁作商人妇。
商人重利轻别离，前月浮梁买茶去。
去来江口守空船，绕舱明月江水寒。
夜深忽梦少年事，梦啼妆泪红阑干。
我闻琵琶已叹息，又闻此语重唧唧。
同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识。
我从去年辞帝京，谪居卧病浔阳城。
浔阳地僻无音乐，终岁不闻丝竹声。
住近湓江地低湿，黄芦苦竹绕宅生。
其间旦暮闻何物，杜鹃啼血猿哀鸣。
春江花朝秋月夜，往往取酒还独倾。
岂无山歌与姑笛，呕哑嘲哳难为听。
今夜闻君琵琶语，如听仙乐耳暂明。
莫辞更坐弹一曲，为君翻作琵琶行。
感我此言良久立，却坐促弦弦转急。
凄凄不似向前声，满座重闻皆掩泣。
座中泣下谁最多，江州司马清衫湿。
`,
	`BASIC is the Computer Science equivalent of  Scientific Creationism .
`,
	`	A German, a Pole and a Czech left camp for a hike through the woods.
After being reported missing a day or two later, rangers found two bears,
one a male, one a female, looking suspiciously overstuffed.  They killed
the female, autopsied her, and sure enough, found the German and the Pole.
	 What do you think?  said the the first ranger.
	 The Czech is in the male,  replied the second.
`,
	`You will be successful in your work.
`,
	`Maybe it s time to break that.
		-- Larry Wall in <199710311718.JAA19082@wall.org>
`,
	`The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.
`,
	`All men are mortal.  Socrates was mortal.  Therefore, all men are Socrates.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the
Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
`,
	`In the Old West a wagon train is crossing the plains.  As night falls the
wagon train forms a circle, and a campfire is lit in the middle.  After
everyone has gone to sleep two lone cavalry officers stand watch over the
camp.
	After several hours of quiet, they hear war drums starting from
a nearby Indian village they had passed during the day.  The drums get
louder and louder.
	Finally one soldier turns to the other and says,  I don t like
the sound of those drums. 
	Suddenly, they hear a cry come from the Indian camp:   IT S
NOT OUR REGULAR DRUMMER. 
`,
	` The most important thing in a man is not what he knows, but what he is. 
		-- Narciso Yepes
`,
	`[32m《送魏万之京》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
朝闻游子唱骊歌，昨夜微霜初度河。
鸿雁不堪愁里听，云山况是客中过。
关城曙色催寒近，御苑砧声向晚多。
莫是长安行乐处，空令岁月易蹉跎。
`,
	`[32m题目:《四时田园杂兴》（选一）[m
[33m作者:范成大（１１２６－１１９３）[m
昼出耘田夜绩麻，村庄儿女各当家。
童孙未解供耕织，也傍桑阴学种瓜。
`,
	`Was there a time when dancers with their fiddles
In children s circuses could stay their troubles?
There was a time they could cry over books,
But time has set its maggot on their track.
Under the arc of the sky they are unsafe.
What s never known is safest in this life.
Under the skysigns they who have no arms
Have cleanest hands, and, as the heartless ghost
Alone s unhurt, so the blind man sees best.
		-- Dylan Thomas,  Was There A Time 
`,
	`The problems of business administration in general, and database management in
particular are much to difficult for people that think in IBMese, compounded
with sloppy english.
		-- Edsger Dijkstra
`,
	` (The Chief Programmer) personally defines the functional and performance
 specifications, designs the program, codes it, tests it, and writes its
 documentation... He needs great talent, ten years experience and
 considerable systems and applications knowledge, whether in applied
 mathematics, business data handling, or whatever. 
		-- Fred P. Brooks, _The Mythical Man Month_
`,
	`3M, under the Scotch brand name, manufactures a fine adhesive for art
and display work.  This product is called  Craft Mount .  3M suggests
that to obtain the best results, one should make the bond  while the
adhesive is wet, aggressively tacky.   I did not know what  aggressively
tacky  meant until I read today s fortune.

		[And who said we didn t offer equal time, huh? Ed.]
`,
	`For good, return good.
For evil, return justice.
`,
	`Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.
		-- Dave Barry,  The Snake 
`,
	`Don t let nobody tell you what you cannot do;
don t let nobody tell you what s impossible for you;
don t let nobody tell you what you got to do,
or you ll never know ... what s on the other side of the rainbow...
remember, if you don t follow your dreams,
you ll never know what s on the other side of the rainbow...
		-- melba moore,  the other side of the rainbow 
`,
	`guru, n:
	A computer owner who can read the manual.
`,
	` You can t get very far in this world without your dossier being there first. 
		-- Arthur Miller
`,
	` I d love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV. 
`,
	`Stop ahead.
`,
	`Out of sight is out of mind.
		-- Arthur Clough
`,
	`Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.  Second marriage is
the triumph of hope over experience.
`,
	`Conceptual integrity in turn dictates that the design must proceed from one
mind, or from a very small number of agreeing resonant minds.
		-- Frederick Brooks Jr.,  The Mythical Man Month 
`,
	`Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and
the party spilled out of the house, and came down the street, and covered the
world.
		-- Robert Stone
`,
	`[32m《逢入京使》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
故园东望路漫漫，双袖龙钟泪不干。
马上相逢无纸笔，凭君传语报平安。
`,
	`My first baseman is George  Catfish  Metkovich from our 1952 Pittsburgh
Pirates team, which lost 112 games.  After a terrible series against the
New York Giants, in which our center fielder made three throwing errors
and let two balls get through his legs, manager Billy Meyer pleaded,  Can
somebody think of something to help us win a game? 
	 I d like to make a suggestion,  Metkovich said.   On any ball hit
to center field, let s just let it roll to see if it might go foul. 
		-- Joe Garagiola,  It s Anybody s Ball Game 
`,
	`The net of law is spread so wide,
No sinner from its sweep may hide.
Its meshes are so fine and strong,
They take in every child of wrong.
O wondrous web of mystery!
Big fish alone escape from thee!
		-- James Jeffrey Roche
`,
	`Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
		-- Frank Lloyd Wright
`,
	`I know engineers.  They love to change things.
		-- Dr. McCoy
`,
	`Where s the man could ease a heart like a satin gown?
		-- Dorothy Parker,  The Satin Dress 
`,
	`Murphy s Law is recursive.  Washing your car to make it rain doesn t work.
`,
	`The Ranger isn t gonna like it, Yogi.
`,
	` Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago. 
		-- Bernard Berenson
`,
	`HP had a unique policy of allowing its engineers to take parts from stock as
long as they built something.   They figured that with every design, they were
getting a better engineer.  It s a policy I urge all companies to adopt. 
-- Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak,  Will Wozniak s class give Apple to teacher? 
   EE Times, June 6, 1988, pg 45
`,
	`On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the
same moment -- halftime.
`,
	`In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that s just one
of the risks he takes.
		-- Adlai Stevenson
`,
	`How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our
thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another
in the waking state?
		-- Plato
`,
	`Santa Claus is watching!
`,
	`Always store beer in a dark place.
		-- Lazarus Long
`,
	`(null cookie; hope that s ok)
`,
	`If all the world s economists were laid end to end, we wouldn t reach a
conclusion.
		-- William Baumol
`,
	`Prices subject to change without notice.
`,
	`BS:	You remind me of a man.
B:	What man?
BS:	The man with the power.
B:	What power?
BS:	The power of voodoo.
B:	Voodoo?
BS:	You do.
B:	Do what?
BS:	Remind me of a man.
B:	What man?
BS:	The man with the power...
		-- Cary Grant,  The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer 
`,
	`The unrecognized minister of propaganda,
E
		-- seen in an email from Ean Schuessler
`,
	`Vanilla wafer.
`,
	` Trust me.  I know what I m doing. 
		-- Sledge Hammer
`,
	` You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are
now extinct. 
		-- M. Somerset Maugham
`,
	`I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a
fundamental error.  Be thankful you are not my student.  You would not get a
high grade for such a design :-)
		-- Andrew Tanenbaum to Linus Torvalds
`,
	`There s small choice in rotten apples.
		-- William Shakespeare,  The Taming of the Shrew 
`,
	`Due to lack of disk space, this fortune database has been discontinued.
`,
	`Say!  You ve struck a heap of trouble--
Bust in business, lost your wife;
No one cares a cent about you,
You don t care a cent for life;
Hard luck has of hope bereft you,
Health is failing, wish you d die--
Why, you ve still the sunshine left you
And the big blue sky.
		-- R. W. Service
`,
	` Calling J-Man Kink.  Calling J-Man Kink.  Hash missile sighted, target
Los Angeles.  Disregard personal feelings about city and intercept. 
		-- The Firesign Theatre movie, _J-Men Forever_
`,
	`Every solution breeds new problems.
`,
	`Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you
don t think.
`,
	`Real theology is always rather shocking to people who already
think they know what they think.  I m still shocked myself.  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <199708261932.MAA05218@wall.org>
`,
	`Interfere?  Of course we should interfere!  Always do what you re
best at, that s what I say.
		-- Doctor Who
`,
	`Are we THERE yet?  My MIND is a SUBMARINE!!
`,
	`If anything can go wrong, it will.
`,
	`Help stamp out Mickey-Mouse computer interfaces -- Menus are for Restaurants!
`,
	`			Pittsburgh driver s test

(5) Your car s horn is a vital piece of safety equipment.  How often should
you test it?

	(a) once a year.
	(b) once a month.
	(c) once a day.
	(d) once an hour.

The correct answer is (d). You should test your car s horn at least once
every hour, and more often at night or in residential neighborhoods.
`,
	` As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty,
and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a
scientist.  This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls. 
		-- Matt Cartmill
`,
	`You re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
`,
	`Linus  Law:
	There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
`,
	`	 Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here. 
	 You admit that? 
	 To deny the facts would be illogical, Doctor 
		-- Spock and McCoy,  A Piece of the Action , stardate unknown
`,
	`Lucas  Law:  Good will always win, because evil hires the _stupid_
             engineers.
`,
	`Did you know that if you took all the economists in the world and lined
them up end to end, they d still point in the wrong direction?
`,
	`A truth that s told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
		-- William Blake
`,
	`Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!
We re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside!
There behind the glass there s a real blade of grass,
Be careful as you pass, move along, move along.
Come inside, the show s about to start,
Guaranteed to blow your head apart.
Rest assured, you ll get your money s worth,
Greatest show, in heaven, hell or earth!
You gotta see the show!  It s a dynamo!
You gotta see the show!  It s rock  n  roll!
		-- ELP,  Karn Evil 9  (1st Impression, Part 2)
`,
	`Pardo s First Postulate:
	Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

Arnold s Addendum:
	Everything else causes cancer in rats.
`,
	`It just doesn t seem right to go over the river and through the woods
to Grandmother s condo.
`,
	`Tim and I a hunting went
We found three damsels in a tent,
As they were three, and we were two,
I bucked one and Timbuktu.
		-- the only known poem using the word  Timbuktu 
`,
	`It s pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth
have both failed.
		-- Kim Hubbard
`,
	`The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
		-- Dorothy Parker
`,
	`[32m《天末怀李白》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
凉风起天末，君子意如何。
鸿雁几时到，江湖秋水多。
文章憎命达，魑魅喜人过。
应共冤魂语，投诗赠汨罗。
`,
	` A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging
their prejudices. 
		-- William James
`,
	`Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
		-- Lily Tomlin
`,
	`<cj> no!  problems in M$ software?
<cj>  Thoroughly bugtested 
* Dabb grins.
<LordHavoc> rewrite that as  Thoroughly buginfested 
`,
	`[32m题目:《书湖阴先生壁》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
茅檐长扫静无苔，花木成畦手自栽。
一水护田将绿绕，两山排闼送青来。
`,
	`Most people will listen to your unreasonable demands, if you ll consider
their unacceptable offer.
`,
	`Here I am again right where I know I shouldn t be
I ve been caught inside this trap too many times
I must ve walked these steps and said these words a
	thousand times before
It seems like I know everybody s lines.
		-- David Bromberg,  How Late ll You Play  Til? 
`,
	`One big pile is better than two little piles.
		-- Arlo Guthrie
`,
	`I suggest you locate your hot tub outside your house, so it won t do too
much damage if it catches fire or explodes.  First you decide which
direction your hot tub should face for maximum solar energy.  After much
trial and error, I have found that the best direction for a hot tub to face
is up.
		-- Dave Barry,  The Taming of the Screw 
`,
	`Old Mother Hubbard lived in a shoe,
She had so many children,
She didn t know what to do.
So she moved to Atlanta.
`,
	`Demographic polls show that you have lost credibility across the board.
Especially with those 14 year-old Valley girls.
`,
	`Harold had never wanted a woman so much in his life, upon overhearing the
22-year-old beauty remark that he was too old and out of shape for her.  The
determined septuagenarian immediately embarked upon a rigorous self-improvement
program.  He had his face lifted, bought a toupee, ran five miles every day,
lifted weights and adopted a strict vegetarian diet.  Within months, the
rejuvenated man won the young woman s heart, and she agreed to marry him.
	On the way out of the chapel, however, Harold was fatally struck
by lightning.  Furious, he confronted Saint Peter at the pearly gates.   How
could you do this to me after all the pain I went through? 
	 To be honest, Harold,  Saint Peter sheepishly replied,  I didn t
recognize you. 
`,
	`The meek will inherit the earth -- if that s OK with you.
`,
	`In this vale
Of toil and sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin.
		-- Burma Shave
`,
	`[32m《梦李白・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
死别已吞声，生别常恻恻。
江南瘴疠地，逐客无消息。
故人入我梦，明我常相忆。
君今在罗网，何以有羽翼？
恐非平生魂，路远不可测。
魂来枫林青，魂返关塞黑。
落月满屋梁，犹疑照颜色。
水深波浪阔，无使蛟龙得。
`,
	`ignisecond, n:
	The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car
	door even as the brain is saying,  my keys are in there! 
		-- Rich Hall,  Sniglets 
`,
	`Don t get mad, get interest.
`,
	`[32m《长相思・其二》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
日色欲尽花含烟，月明欲素愁不眠。
赵瑟初停凤凰柱，蜀琴欲奏鸳鸯弦。
此曲有意无人传，愿随春风寄燕然。
忆君迢迢隔青天，昔日横波目，今作流泪泉。
不信妾断肠，归来看取明镜前。
`,
	`Graduate life: It s not just a job.  It s an indenture.
`,
	`Every successful person has had failures but repeated failure is no
guarantee of eventual success.
`,
	`Example is not the main thing in influencing others.  It is the only thing.
		-- Albert Schweitzer
`,
	`[32m《晚次鄂州》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
云开远见汉阳城，犹是孤帆一日程。
估客昼眠知浪静，舟人夜语觉潮生。
三湘愁鬓逢秋色，万里归心对月明。
旧业已随征战尽，更堪江上鼓鼙声。
`,
	`<jgoerzen> doogie: you sound highly unstable :-)
<Knghtbrd> jgoerzen - he is.
* doogie bops Knghtbrd
<Knghtbrd> see?  Resorting to violence =D
`,
	`	Two men looked out from the prison bars,
	One saw mud--
	The other saw stars.

Now let me get this right: two prisoners are looking out the window.
While one of them was looking at all the mud -- the other one got hit
in the head.
`,
	`If rabbits  feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
`,
	`Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.
		-- Norman Mailer
`,
	`It s not reality or how you perceive things that s important -- it s
what you re taking for it...
`,
	`I am approached with the most opposite opinions and advice, and by men who
are equally certain that they represent the divine will.  I am sure that
either the one or the other is mistaken in the belief, and perhaps in some
respects, both.

I hope it will not be irreverent of me to say that if it is probable that
God would reveal his will to others on a point so connected with my duty,
it might be supposed he would reveal it directly to me.
		-- Abraham Lincoln
`,
	`This is an unauthorized cybernetic announcement.
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其一》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
谢公最小偏怜女，自嫁黔娄百事乖。
顾我无衣搜荩箧，泥他沽酒拔金钗。
野蔬充膳甘长藿，落叶添薪仰古槐。
今日俸钱过十万，与君营奠复营斋。
`,
	`In real love you want the other person s good.  In romantic love you
want the other person.
		-- Margaret Anderson
`,
	`Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.
`,
	`To err is human, but when the eraser wears out before the pencil,
you re overdoing it a little.
`,
	`I think the world is run by C students.
		-- Al McGuire
`,
	`What no spouse of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working
when he s staring out the window.
`,
	`The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of
the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at
her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic
Handsomas roared,  Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you ll feel my
steel through your last meal! 
		-- Winning sentence, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
`,
	`Captain Penny s Law:
	You can fool all of the people some of the time, and
	some of the people all of the time, but you Can t Fool Mom.
`,
	`Real computer scientists despise the idea of actual hardware.  Hardware has
limitations, software doesn t.  It s a real shame that Turing machines are
so poor at I/O.
`,
	`[32m《寻南溪常山道人隐居》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
一路经行处，莓苔见屐痕。
白云依静渚，芳草闭闲门。
过雨看松色，随山到水源。
溪花与禅意，相对亦忘言。
`,
	`Making files is easy under the UNIX operating system.  Therefore, users
tend to create numerous files using large amounts of file space.  It has
been said that the only standard thing about all UNIX systems is the
message-of-the-day telling users to clean up their files.
		-- System V.2 administrator s guide
`,
	`Software is like sex, it s better when it s free.     -- Linus Torvalds
`,
	`	In the east there is a shark which is larger than all other fish.  It
changes into a bird whose winds are like clouds filling the sky.  When this
bird moves across the land, it brings a message from Corporate Headquarters.
This message it drops into the midst of the programmers, like a seagull
making its mark upon the beach.  Then the bird mounts on the wind and, with
the blue sky at its back, returns home.
	The novice programmer stares in wonder at the bird, for he understands
it not.  The average programmer dreads the coming of the bird, for he fears
its message.  The master programmer continues to work at his terminal, for he
does not know that the bird has come and gone.
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
`,
	`If you are afraid of loneliness, don t marry.
		-- Anton Chekhov
`,
	`Rube Walker:  Hey, Yogi, what time is it? 
Yogi Berra:   You mean now? 
`,
	`[I]f you re trying to choose between two theories and one gives you an
excuse for being lazy, the other one is probably right. 
		-- Paul Graham,  What You ll Wish You d Known 
`,
	`The New Testament offers the basis for modern computer coding theory,
in the form of an affirmation of the binary number system.

	But let your communication be Yea, yea; nay, nay:
	for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
		-- Matthew 5:37
`,
	`Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.
		-- Robert Louis Stevenson
`,
	`Thus spake the master programmer:
	 A well-written program is its own heaven; a poorly-written program
is its own hell. 
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`186,282 miles per second:
	It isn t just a good idea, it s the law!
`,
	`Nothing ever becomes real until it is experienced.
		-- John Keats
`,
	`... I don t like FRANK SINATRA or his CHILDREN.
`,
	`Pardo s First Postulate:
	Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

Arnold s Addendum:
	Everything else causes cancer in rats.
`,
	`NEVER swerve to hit a lawyer riding a bicycle -- it might be your bicycle.
`,
	`Roses are red;
	Violets are blue.
I m schizophrenic,
	And so am I.
`,
	`The difficult we do today; the impossible takes a little longer.
`,
	`O.K., fine.
`,
	`So this is what it feels like to be potato salad
`,
	`You know it s going to be a long day when you get up, shave and shower,
start to get dressed and your shoes are still warm.
		-- Dean Webber
`,
	`Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
`,
	`Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
`,
	` It could be that Walter s horse has wings  does not imply that there is
any such animal as Walter s horse, only that there could be; but  Walter s
horse is a thing which could have wings  does imply Walter s horse s
existence.  But the conjunction  Walter s horse exists, and it could be
that Walter s horse has wings  still does not imply  Walter s horse is a
thing that could have wings , for perhaps it can only be that Walter s
horse has wings by Walter having a different horse.  Nor does  Walter s
horse is a thing which could have wings  conversely imply  It could be that
Walter s horse has wings ; for it might be that Walter s horse could only
have wings by not being Walter s horse.

I would deny, though, that the formula [Necessarily if some x has property P
then some x has property P] expresses a logical law, since P(x) could stand
for, let us say  x is a better logician than I am , and the statement  It is
necessary that if someone is a better logician than I am then someone is a
better logician than I am  is false because there need not have been any me.
		-- A. N. Prior,  Time and Modality 
`,
	`If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.
		-- Nora Ephron,  Heartburn 
`,
	`Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
`,
	`... or were you driving the PONTIAC that HONKED at me in MIAMI last Tuesday?
`,
	`Whether weary or unweary, O man, do not rest,
Do not cease your single-handed struggle.
Go on, do not rest.
		-- An old Gujarati hymn
`,
	`You look like a million dollars.  All green and wrinkled.
`,
	`Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
		-- attributed to both Fred Allen and Ernie Kovacs
`,
	`I always will remember --		I was in no mood to trifle;
 Twas a year ago November --		I got down my trusty rifle
I went out to shoot some deer		And went out to stalk my prey --
On a morning bright and clear.		What a haul I made that day!
I went and shot the maximum		I tied them to my bumper and
The game laws would allow:		I drove them home somehow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters,	Two game wardens, seven hunters,
And a cow.				And a cow.

The Law was very firm, it		People ask me how I do it
Took away my permit--			And I say,  There s nothin  to it!
The worst punishment I ever endured.	You just stand there lookin  cute,
It turns out there was a reason:	And when something moves, you shoot. 
Cows were out of season, and		And there s ten stuffed heads
One of the hunters wasn t insured.	In my trophy room right now:
					Two game wardens, seven hunters,
					And a pure-bred guernsey cow.
		-- Tom Lehrer,  The Hunting Song 
`,
	`Always try to do things in chronological order; it s less confusing that way.
`,
	`One man s constant is another man s variable.
		-- A. J. Perlis
`,
	`Caf e Minimalism:
	To espouse a philosophy of minimalism without actually putting
into practice any of its tenets.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`No user-servicable parts inside.  Refer to qualified service personnel.
`,
	`Fortune finishes the great quotations, #6

	 But, soft!  What light through yonder window breaks? 
	It s nothing, honey.  Go back to sleep.
`,
	`Worst Vegetable of the Year:
	The brussels sprout.  This is also the worst vegetable of next year.
		-- Steve Rubenstein
`,
	`It is more rational to sacrifice one life than six.
		-- Spock,  The Galileo Seven , stardate 2822.3
`,
	`<DannyS> Hit the monkey to win $20(*)!
* knghtbrd gets out his mallet.
* knghtbrd plants it firmly on DannyS  head.
* knghtbrd will take his $20 now.  =D
`,
	`[32m《蜀先主庙》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
天地英雄气，千秋尚凛然。
势分三足鼎，业复五铢钱。
得相能开国，生儿不象贤。
凄凉蜀故妓，来舞魏宫前。
`,
	`Do nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate.
`,
	`Spock: The odds of surviving another attack are 13562190123 to 1, Captain.
`,
	`[32m题目:《新开棋轩呈元珍表臣》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
竹树日已滋，轩窗渐幽兴。
人间与世远，鸟语知境静。
春光霭欲布，山色寒尚映。
独收万籁心，于此一枰竞。
`,
	`Norbert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories.  Weiner was, in
fact, very absent minded.  The following story is told about him: when they
moved from Cambridge to Newton his wife, knowing that he would be absolutely
useless on the move, packed him off to MIT while she directed the move.  Since
she was certain that he would forget that they had moved and where they had
moved to, she wrote down the new address on a piece of paper, and gave it to
him.  Naturally, in the course of the day, an insight occurred to him.  He
reached in his pocket, found a piece of paper on which he furiously scribbled
some notes, thought it over, decided there was a fallacy in his idea, and
threw the piece of paper away.  At the end of the day he went home (to the
old address in Cambridge, of course).  When he got there he realized that they
had moved, that he had no idea where they had moved to, and that the piece of
paper with the address was long gone.  Fortunately inspiration struck.  There
was a young girl on the street and he conceived the idea of asking her where
he had moved to, saying,  Excuse me, perhaps you know me.  I m Norbert Weiner
and we ve just moved.  Would you know where we ve moved to?   To which the
young girl replied,  Yes, Daddy, Mommy thought you would forget. 
	The capper to the story is that I asked his daughter (the girl in the
story) about the truth of the story, many years later.  She said that it wasn t
quite true -- that he never forgot who his children were!  The rest of it,
however, was pretty close to what actually happened...
		-- Richard Harter
`,
	`Many hands make light work.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	` The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain. 
		-- G. Fitch
`,
	`And so it was, later,
As the miller told his tale,
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale.
		-- Procol Harum
`,
	`Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.
`,
	`Juall s Law on Nice Guys:
	Nice guys don t always finish last; sometimes they don t finish.
	Sometimes they don t even get a chance to start!
`,
	` I ll rob that rich person and give it to some poor deserving slob.
That will *prove* I m Robin Hood. 
		-- Daffy Duck,  Robin Hood Daffy , [1958, Chuck Jones]
`,
	`A musician, an artist, an architect:
	the man or woman who is not one of these is not a Christian.
		-- William Blake
`,
	`In 1962, you could buy a pair of SHARKSKIN SLACKS, with a  Continental
Belt,  for $10.99!!
`,
	`Flugg s Law:
	When you need to knock on wood is when you realize
	that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
`,
	`Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
`,
	`The world is coming to an end ... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!!!
`,
	`Calling you stupid is an insult to stupid people!
		-- Wanda,  A Fish Called Wanda 
`,
	` See - the thing is - I m an absolutist.  I mean, kind of ... in a way ... 
`,
	`Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
`,
	`A woman physician has made the statement that smoking is neither
physically defective nor morally degrading, and that nicotine, even
when indulged to in excess, is less harmful than excessive petting. 
		-- Purdue Exponent, Jan 16, 1925
`,
	`The giraffe you thought you offended last week is willing to be nuzzled today.
`,
	`Afternoon very favorable for romance.  Try a single person for a change.
`,
	`Oh wearisome condition of humanity!
Born under one law, to another bound.
		-- Fulke Greville, Lord Brooke
`,
	`It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
`,
	`[32m《寄韩谏议》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
今我不乐思岳阳，身欲奋飞病在床。
美人娟娟隔秋水，濯足洞庭望八荒。
鸿飞冥冥日月白，青枫叶赤天雨霜。
玉京群帝集北斗，或骑麒麟翳凤凰。
芙蓉旌旗烟雾落，影动倒景摇潇湘。
星宫之君醉琼浆，羽人稀少不在旁。
似闻昨者赤松子，恐是汉代韩张良。
昔随刘氏定长安，帷幄未改神惨伤。
国家成败吾岂敢，色难腥腐餐枫香。
周南留滞古所惜，南极老人应寿昌。
美人胡为隔秋水，焉得置之贡玉堂。
`,
	`Give me your students, your secretaries,
Your huddled writers yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your Selectric III s.
Give these, the homeless, typist-tossed to me.
I lift my disk beside the processor.
		-- Inscription on a Word Processor
`,
	`Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender.  You stand convicted of
sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.
		-- Tobias Smollet
`,
	`Did I say 2?  I lied.
`,
	`Time is fluid ... like a river with currents, eddies, backwash.
		-- Spock,  The City on the Edge of Forever , stardate 3134.0
`,
	`I wish a robot would get elected president.  That way, when he came to town,
we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
		-- Jack Handey
`,
	`If you don t have time to do it right, where are you going to find the time
to do it over?
`,
	`May a hundred thousand midgets invade your home singing cheesy lounge-lizard
versions of songs from The Wizard of Oz.
`,
	`Their idea of an offer you can t refuse is an offer... and you d better
not refuse.
`,
	`I hate quotations.
		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
`,
	`[32m《九月九日忆山东兄弟》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲。
遥知兄弟登高处，遍插茱萸少一人。
`,
	`	 Evil does seek to maintain power by suppressing the truth. 
	 Or by misleading the innocent. 
		-- Spock and McCoy,  And The Children Shall Lead ,
		   stardate 5029.5.
`,
	`So in the future, one  client  at a time or you ll be spending CPU time with
lots of little  child processes .
		-- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd
`,
	`Paranoid Club meeting this Friday.  Now ... just try to find out where!
`,
	`Indulgence

Straighten yourself and you will not stand steady;
Display yourself and you will not be clearly seen;
Justify yourself and you will not be respected;
Promote yourself and you will not be believed;
Pride yourself and you will not endure.
These behaviours are wasteful, indulgent,
And so they attract disfavour;
Harmony avoids them.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`In the stairway of life, you d best take the elevator.
`,
	` I am your density. 
		-- George McFly in  Back to the Future 
`,
	`The strong individual loves the earth so much he lusts for recurrence.  He
can smile in the face of the most terrible thought: meaningless, aimless
existence recurring eternally.  The second characteristic of such a man is
that he has the strength to recognise -- and to live with the recognition --
that the world is valueless in itself and that all values are human ones.
He creates himself by fashoning his own values; he has the pride to live
by the values he wills.
		-- Nietzsche
`,
	`Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a
percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor.
		-- Edgar R. Fiedler
`,
	`Paul s Law:
	In America, it s not how much an item costs, it s how much you save.
`,
	`<Overfiend> the key to proper French pronunciation is to pull the
            corners of your mouth down as far as they can possibly go,
            and then groan like you re constipated
<Overfiend> you ll really nail the vowel sounds that way
`,
	`You just wait, I ll sin till I blow up!
		-- Dylan Thomas
`,
	`learning curve, n.:
	An astonishing new theory, discovered by management consultants
	in the 1970 s, asserting that the more you do something the
	quicker you can do it.
`,
	`Oreo.
`,
	`Slous  Contention:
	If you do a job too well, you ll get stuck with it.
`,
	`brain, n:
	The apparatus with which we think that we think.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`If you took all the students that felt asleep in class and laid them end to
end, they d be a lot more comfortable.
		--  Graffiti in the Big Ten 
`,
	`cashtration, n.:
	The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.
`,
	`	 It s a summons. 
	 What s a summons? 
	 It means summon s in trouble. 
		-- Rocky and Bullwinkle
`,
	`Q. Why is this so clumsy?
A. The trick is to use Perl s strengths rather than its weaknesses.
		-- Larry Wall in <8225@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`All men know the utility of useful things;
but they do not know the utility of futility.
		-- Chuang-tzu
`,
	`The brotherhood of man is not a mere poet s dream; it is a most depressing
and humiliating reality.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`* joeyh takes advantage of netscape s marvelous ability to crash to close
        10 windows with a single keypress
<joeyh> now that s progress!
<Knghtbrd> Bus error  =>
`,
	`Say something you ll be sorry for, I love receiving apologies.
`,
	`Just to remind everyone.  Today, Sept 17, is Linux s 5th birthday.  So
happy birthday to all on the list.  Thanks go out to Linus and all the
other hard-working maintainers for 5 wonderful fast paced years!
		-- William E. Roadcap <roadcapw@cfw.com>
`,
	`The problem with any unwritten law is that you don t know where to go
to erase it.
		-- Glaser and Way
`,
	`It s pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth
have both failed.
		-- Kim Hubbard
`,
	`Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek,
shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm
as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like
bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood;
she was a woman driven -- fueled by a single accelerant -- and she needed a
man, a man who wouldn t shift from his views, a man to steer her along the
right road: a man like Alf Romeo.
		-- Rachel Sheeley, winner

The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never
see her little dog Pritzi again.
		-- Claudia Fields, runner-up

It could have been an organically based disturbance of the brain -- perhaps a
tumor or a metabolic deficiency -- but after a thorough neurological exam it
was determined that Byron was simply a jerk.
		-- Jeff Jahnke, runner-up

Winners in the 7th Annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest.  The contest is
named after the author of the immortal lines:   It was a dark and stormy
night.   The object of the contest is to write the opening sentence of the
worst possible novel.
`,
	`He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue.
		-- Andrew Lang
`,
	`You know you re in trouble when...
(1)	Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
		follow a group of Hell s Angels on the freeway.
(2)	You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party
		and there aren t any.
(3)	Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
(4)	The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
(5)	You wake up and your braces are locked together.
(6)	Your mother approves of the person you re dating.
`,
	`Romeo wasn t bilked in a day.
		-- Walt Kelly,  Ten Ever-Lovin  Blue-Eyed Years With Pogo 
`,
	`QOTD:
	 I am not sure what this is, but an  F  would only dignify it. 
`,
	`Weiler s Law:
	Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn t have to do it himself.
`,
	`There you go man,
Keep as cool as you can.
It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave.
Keep on being free!
`,
	`A large spider in an old house built a beautiful web in which to catch flies.
Every time a fly landed on the web and was entangled in it the spider devoured
him, so that when another fly came along he would think the web was a safe and
quiet place in which to rest.  One day a fairly intelligent fly buzzed around
above the web so long without lighting that the spider appeared and said,
 Come on down.   But the fly was too clever for him and said,  I never light
where I don t see other flies and I don t see any other flies in your house. 
So he flew away until he came to a place where there were a great many other
flies.  He was about to settle down among them when a bee buzzed up and said,
 Hold it, stupid, that s flypaper.  All those flies are trapped.    Don t be
silly,  said the fly,  they re dancing.   So he settled down and became stuck
to the flypaper with all the other flies.

Moral:  There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
		-- James Thurber,  The Fairly Intelligent Fly 
`,
	`Computers don t actually think.
	You just think they think.
		(We think.)
`,
	`Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin; but twenty years of
marriage make her something like a public building.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`guru, n.:
	A person in T-shirt and sandals who took an elevator ride with
	a senior vice-president and is ultimately responsible for the
	phone call you are about to receive from your boss.
`,
	`It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood
Boulevard at one time.
`,
	`... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he
was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.
		-- Dave Barry,  The Snake 
`,
	`mummy, n.:
	An Egyptian who was pressed for time.
`,
	`He who minds his own business is never unemployed.
`,
	`It s better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
`,
	`[32m《宿建德江》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
移舟泊烟渚，日暮客愁新。
野旷天低树，江清月近人。
`,
	`November, n.:
	The eleventh twelfth of a weariness.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`index, n.:
	Alphabetical list of words of no possible interest where an
	alphabetical list of subjects with references ought to be.
`,
	`Historic Underdosing:
	To live in a period of time when nothing seems to happen.
Major symptoms include addiction to newspapers, magazines, and TV news
broadcasts.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`			Against Idleness and Mischief

How doth the little busy bee		How skillfully she builds her cell!
Improve each shining hour,		How neat she spreads the wax!
And gather honey all the day		And labours hard to store it well
From every opening flower!		With the sweet food she makes.

In works of labour or of skill		In books, or work, or healthful play,
I would be busy too;			Let my first years be passed,
For Satan finds some mischief still	That I may give for every day
For idle hands to do.			Some good account at last.
		-- Isaac Watts, 1674-1748
`,
	`Reader, suppose you were an idiot.  And suppose you were a member of
Congress.  But I repeat myself.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`Individualists unite!
`,
	` Boy, life takes a long time to live. 
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`Eggheads unite!  You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
		-- Adlai Stevenson
`,
	`War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.
		-- Desiderius Erasmus
`,
	`It s hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.
		-- Groucho Marx
`,
	`What is the sound of one hand clapping?
`,
	`/earth is 98% full ... please delete anyone you can.
`,
	`Microsoft Corp., concerned by the growing popularity of the free 32-bit
operating system for Intel systems, Linux, has employed a number of top
programmers from the underground world of virus development. Bill Gates stated
yesterday:  World domination, fast -- it s either us or Linus . Mr. Torvalds
was unavailable for comment ...
(rjm@swift.eng.ox.ac.uk (Robert Manners), in comp.os.linux.setup)
`,
	`FACILITY REJECTED 100044200000;
`,
	`Maybe ain t ain t so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain t
using ain t ain t eatin  well.
		-- Will Rogers
`,
	`Ya ll hear about the geometer who went to the beach to catch some
rays and became a tangent ?
`,
	`Renning s Maxim:
	Man is the highest animal.  Man does the classifying.
`,
	`What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no
longer believe you.
		-- Nietzsche
`,
	`When you don t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
`,
	`Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.
		-- M. M. Johnston
`,
	`6 oz. orange juice
1 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. Galliano
		Harvey Wallbangers
`,
	`All that glitters has a high refractive index.
`,
	`<lilo> I can read the bloody *manual* as if it were some sort of
       religious tract describing forms of enlightenment you can achieve
       after 10 years on a mountain :)
`,
	`You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
`,
	`You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that,
contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses.
Really, that s what scientists believe.  In fact many scientists actually
use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the summer.  If you visit a
scientist s house on a sultry August day, you ll find a cheerful fire
roaring on the hearth and the scientist sitting nearby, remarking on how
cool he is and drinking heavily.
		-- Dave Barry,  Postpetroleum Guzzler 
`,
	`Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we use the ones we have?
`,
	`The complexity of software is an essential property, not an accidental one.
Hence, descriptions of a software entity that abstract away its complexity
often abstract away its essence.
		-- Fred Brooks, Jr.
`,
	`Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
`,
	`The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.
		-- Nora Ephron
`,
	`I ve got an IDEA!!  Why don t I STARE at you so HARD, you forget your
SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!!
`,
	` Never give in.  Never give in.  Never. Never. Never. 
		-- Winston Churchill
`,
	`It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
`,
	`Be not anxious about what you have, but about what you are.
		-- Pope St. Gregory I
`,
	`Don t hit the keys so hard, it hurts.
`,
	`Although the Perl Slogan is There s More Than One Way to Do It, I hesitate
to make 10 ways to do something.  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <9695@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question...
Oh, do not ask,  What is it? 
		-- T. S. Eliot,  Love song of J. Alfred Prufrock 
`,
	`If I felt any more SOPHISTICATED I would DIE of EMBARRASSMENT!
`,
	`My Bonnie looked into a gas tank,
The height of its contents to see!
She lit a small match to assist her,
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.
`,
	`After Goliath s defeat, giants ceased to command respect.
		-- Freeman Dyson
`,
	`What this country needs is a good five cent nickel.
`,
	`Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
`,
	`I m not even going to *______bother* comparing C to BASIC or FORTRAN.
		-- L. Zolman, creator of BDS C
`,
	`When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.
		-- James H. Boren
`,
	` I didn t know it was impossible when I did it. 
`,
	`<Overfiend> the key to proper French pronunciation is to pull the
            corners of your mouth down as far as they can possibly go,
            and then groan like you re constipated
<Overfiend> you ll really nail the vowel sounds that way
`,
	`There s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn
what it is I ll get married again.
		-- Clint Eastwood
`,
	`The only certainty is that nothing is certain.
		-- Pliny the Elder
`,
	`The opossum is a very sophisticated animal.  It doesn t even get up
until 5 or 6 PM.
`,
	`Truth has always been found to promote the best interests of mankind...
		-- Percy Bysshe Shelley
`,
	`In a surprise raid last night, federal agents ransacked a house in search
of a rebel computer hacker.  However, they were unable to complete the arrest
because the warrant was made out in the name of Don Provan, while the only
person in the house was named don provan.  Proving, once again, that Unix is
superior to Tops10.
`,
	` It s no sweat, Henry.  Russ made it back to Bugtown before he died.  So he ll
regenerate in a couple of days.  It s just awful sloppy of him to get killed in
the first place.  Humph! 
		-- Ron Post, Post Brothers Comics
`,
	`If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal
purposes.
		-- J. Edgar Hoover
`,
	`The soldier came knocking upon the queen s door.
He said,  I am not fighting for you any more. 
The queen knew she had seen his face someplace before,
And slowly she let him inside.

He said,  I see you now, and you re so very young,
But I ve seen more battles lost than I have battles won,
And I have this intuition that it s all for your fun.
And now will you tell me why? 
		-- Suzanne Vega,  The Queen and The Soldier 
`,
	`You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.
`,
	`... I m IMAGINING a sensuous GIRAFFE, CAVORTING in the BACK ROOM
of a KOSHER DELI --
`,
	`If only God would give me some clear sign!  Like making a large deposit
in my name at a Swiss Bank.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`Paul Revere was a tattle-tale.
`,
	`<Culus> Hhhmmmmmmmm
<Culus> waterbeds for cows
<Culus> eleet
<cas> Culus: why would a cow need a waterbed?
<Culus> cas:  To be comfy warm
`,
	`The spirit of Plato dies hard.  We have been unable to escape the philosophical
tradition that what we can see and measure in the world is merely the
superficial and imperfect representation of an underlying reality.
		-- S. J. Gould,  The Mismeasure of Man 
`,
	`After this was written there appeared a remarkable posthumous memoir that
throws some doubt on Millikan s leading role in these experiments.  Harvey
Fletcher (1884-1981), who was a graduate student at the University of Chicago,
at Millikan s suggestion worked on the measurement of electronic charge for
his doctoral thesis, and co-authored some of the early papers on this subject
with Millikan.  Fletcher left a manuscript with a friend with instructions
that it be published after his death; the manuscript was published in
Physics Today, June 1982, page 43.  In it, Fletcher claims that he was the
first to do the experiment with oil drops, was the first to measure charges on
single droplets, and may have been the first to suggest the use of oil.
According to Fletcher, he had expected to be co-authored with Millikan on
the crucial first article announcing the measurement of the electronic
charge, but was talked out of this by Millikan.
		-- Steven Weinberg,  The Discovery of Subatomic Particles 

Robert Millikan is generally credited with making the first really
precise measurement of the charge on an electron and was awarded the
Nobel Prize in 1923.
`,
	`Q:	Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A:	To get to the other slide.
`,
	`If you wish women to love you, be original; I know a man who wore fur
boots summer and winter, and women fell in love with him.
		-- Anton Chekhov
`,
	`I feel like a wet parking meter on Darvon!
`,
	` It s not just a computer -- it s your ass. 
		-- Cal Keegan
`,
	`Real Programmers don t play tennis, or any other sport that requires
you to change clothes.  Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers
wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly
spring up in the middle of the machine room.
`,
	`Now I lay me down to sleep
I hear the sirens in the street
All my dreams are made of chrome
I have no way to get back home
		-- Tom Waits
`,
	`The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
`,
	`Of course power tools and alcohol don t mix.  Everyone knows power
tools aren t soluble in alcohol...
		-- Crazy Nigel
`,
	`Distinctive, adj.:
	A different color or shape than our competitors.
`,
	`Oh, wait, that was Randal...nevermind...
		-- Larry Wall in <199709261754.KAA23761@wall.org>
`,
	`Ritual

Well established hierarchies are not easily uprooted;
Closely held beliefs are not easily released;
So ritual enthralls generation after generation.
Harmony does not care for harmony, and so is naturally attained;
But ritual is intent upon harmony, and so can not attain it.
Harmony neither acts nor reasons;
Love acts, but without reason;
Justice acts to serve reason;
But ritual acts to enforce reason.
When the Way is lost, there remains harmony;
When harmony is lost, there remains love;
When love is lost, there remains justice;
And when justice is lost, there remains ritual.
Ritual is the end of compassion and honesty,
The beginning of confusion;
Belief is a colourful hope or fear,
The beginning of folly.
The sage goes by harmony, not by hope;
He dwells in the fruit, not the flower;
He accepts substance, and ignores abstraction.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Accident, n.:
	A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of
	body is better.
		-- Foolish Dictionary
`,
	` With molasses you catch flies, with vinegar you catch nobody. 
		-- Baltimore City Councilman Dominic DiPietro
`,
	`[32m题目:《读严子陵传》[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m
客星何补汉中兴，空有清风冷似冰。
早遣阿瞒移汉鼎，人间何处有严陵！
`,
	`FORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: #6

	 Johnny, if you fall and break your leg, don t come running to me! 
		-- Mrs. Emily Barstow, June 16, 1954
`,
	`Since before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned hot in space,
cosmic forces of inexorable power have been working relentlessly toward
this moment in space-time -- your receiving this fortune.
`,
	`Give all orders verbally.  Never write anything down that might go into a
 Pearl Harbor File .
`,
	`Some men are so macho they ll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit.
		-- Maureen Murphy
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: (Showing man picture.) That s you?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?
`,
	`	A reader reports that when the patient died, the attending doctor
recorded the following on the patient s chart:   Patient failed to fulfill
his wellness potential. 
	Another doctor reports that in a recent issue of the *American Journal
of Family Practice* fleas were called  hematophagous arthropod vectors. 
	A reader reports that the Army calls them  vertically deployed anti-
personnel devices.   You probably call them bombs.
	At McClellan Air Force base in Sacramento, California, civilian
mechanics were placed on  non-duty, non-pay status.   That is, they were fired.
	After taking the trip of a lifetime, our reader sent his twelve rolls
of film to Kodak for developing (or  processing,  as Kodak likes to call it)
only to receive the following notice:   We must report that during the handling
of your twelve 35mm Kodachrome slide orders, the films were involved in an
unusual laboratory experience.   The use of the passive is a particularly nice
touch, don t you think?  Nobody did anything to the films; they just had a bad
experience.  Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his
pictures all over again, using the twelve replacement rolls Kodak so generously
sent him.
		-- Quarterly Review of Doublespeak (NCTE)
`,
	`On our campus the UNIX system has proved to be not only an effective software
tool, but an agent of technical and social change within the University.
		-- John Lions (University of New South Wales)
`,
	`Well, Jim, I m not much of an actor either.
`,
	`Communicate!  It can t make things any worse.
`,
	`For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.
`,
	`They wouldn t listen to the fact that I was a genius,
The man said  We got all that we can use ,
So I ve got those steadily-depressin , low-down, mind-messin ,
Working-at-the-car-wash blues.
		-- Jim Croce
`,
	`Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
		-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
`,
	`P-K4
`,
	`It is impossible to defend perfectly against the attack of those who want
to die.
`,
	`Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn t have to do it himself.
		-- A. H. Weiler
`,
	`Decorate your home.  It gives the illusion that your life is more
interesting than it really is.
		-- C. Schulz
`,
	`Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping
the top of the barrel.
		-- Gore Vidal
`,
	`The software required Win95 or better, so I installed Linux.
`,
	`To know Edina is to reject it.
		-- Dudley Riggs,  The Year the Grinch Stole the Election 
`,
	`Quark!  Quark!  Beware the quantum duck!
`,
	`handshaking protocol, n:
	A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initate a
	terse but civil dialogue, which, in turn, is characterized by
	occasional misunderstanding, sulking, and name-calling.
`,
	`Dear Emily:
	I saw a long article that I wish to rebut carefully, what should
I do?
		-- Angry

Dear Angry:
	Include the entire text with your article, and include your comments
between the lines.  Be sure to post, and not mail, even though your article
looks like a reply to the original.  Everybody *loves* to read those long
point-by-point debates, especially when they evolve into name-calling and
lots of  Is too!  --  Is not!  --  Is too, twizot!  exchanges.
		-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
`,
	`The code also assumes that it s difficult to misspell  a  or  b .  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <199710221731.KAA24396@wall.org>
`,
	`[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment
where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand
more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.
		-- S. Kierkegaard
`,
	`Wish and hope succeed in discerning signs of paranormality where reason and
careful scientific procedure fail.
		-- James E. Alcock, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 12
`,
	`I wish a robot would get elected president.  That way, when he came to town,
we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
		-- Jack Handey
`,
	`* netgod opens his mailbox and immediately wishes he hadnt
`,
	`[32m《月夜》[m
[33m作者：刘方平[m
更深月色半人家，北斗阑干南斗斜。
今夜偏知春气暖，虫声新透绿窗纱。
`,
	`Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
		-- Kin Hubbard,  Abe Martin s Sayings 
`,
	`A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.
`,
	`How long does it take a DEC field service engineer to change a lightbulb?

It depends on how many bad ones he brought with him.
`,
	` ...Deep Hack Mode--that mysterious and frightening state of
consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread. 
(By Matt Welsh)
`,
	`I got my driver s license photo taken out of focus on purpose.  Now
when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and
farther, trying to see it clearly)...  and says,  Here, you can go. 
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	` Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence 
		-- Time Bandits
`,
	`Women sometimes forgive a man who forces the opportunity, but never a man
who misses one.
		-- Charles De Talleyrand-Perigord
`,
	`There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty.
 When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend. 
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`The problem with graduate students, in general, is that they have
to sleep every few days.
`,
	`Don t abandon hope.  Your Captain Midnight decoder ring arrives tomorrow.
`,
	`Roland was a warrior, from the land of the midnight sun,
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done.
The deal was made in Denmark, on a dark and stormy day,
So he set out for Biafra, to join the bloody fray.
Through sixty-six and seven, they fought the Congo war,
With their fingers on their triggers, knee deep in gore.
Days and nights they battled, the Bantu to their knees,
They killed to earn their living, and to help out the Congolese.
	Roland the Thompson gunner...
His comrades fought beside him, Van Owen and the rest,
But of all the Thompson gunners, Roland was the best.
So the C.I.A decided, they wanted Roland dead,
That son-of-a-bitch Van Owen, blew off Roland s head.
	Roland the headless Thompson gunner...
Roland searched the continent, for the man who d done him in.
He found him in Mombasa, in a bar room drinking gin,
Roland aimed his Thompson gun, he didn t say a word,
But he blew Van Owen s body from there to Johannesburg.
The eternal Thompson gunner, still wandering through the night,
Now it s ten years later, but he stills keeps up the fight.
In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Palestine, in Berkeley,
Patty Hearst... heard the burst... of Roland s Thompson gun, and bought it.
		-- Warren Zevon,  Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner 
`,
	`OK, enough hype.
		-- Larry Wall in the perl man page
`,
	`Q:	What s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
A:	One less drunk.
`,
	`Never be afraid to tell the world who you are.
		-- Anonymous
`,
	` You can t make a program without broken egos. 
`,
	`program, n.:
	A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one s input
	into error messages.  tr.v. To engage in a pastime similar to banging
	one s head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward.
`,
	`Have a nice day!
`,
	`panic: kernel trap (ignored)
`,
	`Dow s Law:
	In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level,
	the greater the confusion.
`,
	`Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
		-- Arman de Caillavet, 1913
`,
	`APL is a write-only language.  I can write programs in APL, but I can t
read any of them.
		-- Roy Keir
`,
	`boss, n:
	According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the
	words  boss  and  botch  were largely synonymous, except that boss,
	in addition to meaning  a supervisor of workers  also meant  an
	ornamental stud. 
`,
	`She s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
		-- Mae West
`,
	`[32m《锦瑟》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
锦瑟无端五十弦，一弦一柱思华年。
庄生晓梦迷蝴蝶，望帝春心托杜鹃。
沧海月明珠有泪，蓝田日暖玉生烟。
此情可待成追忆，只是当时已惘然。
`,
	`They use different words for things in America.
For instance they say elevator and we say lift.
They say drapes and we say curtains.
They say president and we say brain damaged git.
		-- Alexie Sayle
`,
	`You must include all income you receive in the form of money, property
and services if it is not specifically exempt.  Report property (goods)
and services at their fair market values.  Examples include income from
bartering or swapping transactions, side commissions, kickbacks, rent
paid in services, illegal activities (such as stealing, drugs, etc.),
cash skimming by proprietors and tradesmen,  moonlighting  services,
gambling, prizes and awards.  Not reporting such income can lead to
prosecution for perjury and fraud.
		-- Excerpt from Taxachussetts income tax forms
`,
	`Bondage maybe, discipline never!
		-- T.K.
`,
	`Anything labeled  NEW  and/or  IMPROVED  isn t.  The label means the
price went up.  The label  ALL NEW ,  COMPLETELY NEW , or  GREAT NEW 
means the price went way up.
`,
	` Open the pod bay doors, HAL. 
		-- Dave Bowman, 2001
`,
	`Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero
... must drink brandy.
		-- Samuel Johnson
`,
	`if it GLISTENS, gobble it!!
`,
	`If you re not careful, you re going to catch something.
`,
	`Any man can work when every stroke of his hand brings down the fruit
rattling from the tree to the ground; but to labor in season and out of
season, under every discouragement, by the power of truth -- that
requires a heroism which is transcendent.
		-- Henry Ward Beecher
`,
	`Do not throw cigarette butts in the urinal, for they are subtle and
quick to anger.
`,
	`For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.
		-- Abraham Lincoln
`,
	`If the girl you love moves in with another guy once, it s more than enough.
Twice, it s much too much.  Three times, it s the story of your life.
`,
	`Just machines to make big decisions,
Programmed by men for compassion and vision,
We ll be clean when their work is done,
We ll be eternally free, yes, eternally young,
What a beautiful world this will be,
What a glorious time to be free.
		-- Donald Fagon,  What A Beautiful World 
`,
	`English literature s performing flea.
		-- Sean O Casey on P. G. Wodehouse
`,
	`Support your local police force -- steal!!
`,
	`No, I don t have a drinking problem.

I drink, I get drunk, I fall down.

No problem!
`,
	`Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli,  I predict, Sir, that
you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease .  Disraeli replied,
 That all depends, Sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your
mistress. 
`,
	` Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
 of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated? 
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
`,
	`Hello.  Jim Rockford s machine, this is Larry Doheny s machine.  Will you
please have your master call my master at his convenience?  Thank you.
Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.
		--  The Rockford Files 
`,
	`[32m《隋宫》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
紫泉宫殿锁烟霞，欲取芜城作帝家。
玉玺不缘归日角，锦帆应是到天涯。
于今腐草无萤火，终古垂杨有暮鸦。
地下若逢陈后主，岂宜重问后庭花。
`,
	`Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
		-- Salvor Hardin,  Foundation 
`,
	`We place two copies of PEOPLE magazine in a DARK, HUMID mobile home.
45 minutes later CYNDI LAUPER emerges wearing a BIRD CAGE on her head!
`,
	`LILO, you ve got me on my knees!
(from David Black, dblack@pilot.njin.net, with apologies to Derek and the
Dominos, and Werner Almsberger)
`,
	`Do you know about being with somebody?  Wanting to be?  If I had the
whole universe, I d give it to you, Janice.  When I see you, I feel
like I m hungry all over.  Do you know how that feels?
		-- Charlie Evans,  Charlie X , stardate 1535.8
`,
	`<dark> Turns out that grep returns error code 1 when there are no matches.
       I KNEW that.  Why did it take me half an hour?
		-- Seen on #Debian
`,
	`People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
		-- Abigail Van Buren
`,
	`Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.
		-- Shakespeare,  Coriolanus 
`,
	`Excellent day for drinking heavily.  Spike the office water cooler.
`,
	`A new supply of round tuits has arrived and are available from Mary.
Anyone who has been putting off work until they got a round tuit now
has no excuse for further procrastination.
`,
	`   A unified, neutral Germany? Given that nation s heritage, such a
  phrase may prove to be the oxymoron of the decade.  -Kevin M.
  Matarese, Fulda, West Germany; as seen in  Letters , Time
  magazine, p. 5, March 5, 1990.
`,
	`If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have
schizophrenia.
		-- Thomas Szasz
`,
	`If you can t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
`,
	`HELLO KITTY gang terrorizes town, family STICKERED to death!
`,
	`It s been a business doing pleasure with you.
`,
	`To find out a girl s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
		-- Benjamin Franklin
`,
	`Consent decree:
	A document in which a hapless company consents never to commit
	in the future whatever heinous violations of Federal law it
	never admitted to in the first place.
`,
	`The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
		-- Charles de Gaulle
`,
	`Juall s Law on Nice Guys:
	Nice guys don t always finish last; sometimes they don t finish.
	Sometimes they don t even get a chance to start!
`,
	`Stop ahead.
`,
	`Census Taker to Housewife:
Did you ever have the measles, and, if so, how many?
`,
	`Somewhere in suburban Honolulu, an unemployed bellhop is whipping up a
batch of illegal psilocybin chop suey!!
`,
	`If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire
deeper insights into what you believe?  The things most worth reading
are precisely those that challenge our convictions.
`,
	`A bunch of the boys were whooping it in the Malemute saloon;
The kid that handles the music box was hitting a jag-time tune;
Back of the bar, in a solo game, sat Dangerous Dan McGrew,
And watching his luck was his light-o -love, the lady that s known as Lou.
		-- Robert W. Service
`,
	`[32m《筹笔驿》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
猿鸟犹疑畏简书，风云常为护储胥。
徒令上将挥神笔，终见降王走传车。
管乐有才原不忝，关张无命欲何如。
他年锦里经祠庙，梁父吟成恨有余。
`,
	`Chicken Little only has to be right once.
`,
	`We are what we are.
`,
	`There are worse things in life than death.  Have you ever spent an evening
with an insurance salesman?
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`Support the Girl Scouts!
	(Today s Brownie is tomorrow s Cookie!)
`,
	`Most places distinguish them merely by using the appropriate value.
Hooray for context...
		-- Larry Wall in <199708040319.UAA16213@wall.org>
`,
	`One would like to stroke and caress human beings, but one dares not do so,
because they bite.
		-- Vladimir Il ich Lenin
`,
	`There was a writer in  Life  magazine ... who claimed that rabbits have
no memory, which is one of their defensive mechanisms.  If they recalled
every close shave they had in the course of just an hour life would become
insupportable.
		-- Kurt Vonnegut
`,
	`* knghtbrd is each day more convinced that most C++ coders don t know what
           the hell they re doing, which is why C++ has such a bad rap
<Culus> kb: Most C coders don t know what they are doing, it just makes it
        easier to hide :P
<Culus> see for instance, proftpd :P
`,
	`Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven t the remotest
knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die.
		-- Oscar Wilde,  The Importance of Being Earnest 
`,
	` No problem is so formidable that you can t walk away from it. 
		-- C. Schulz
`,
	`Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`	 How did you spend the weekend?  asked the pretty brunette secretary
of her blonde companion.
	 Fishing through the ice,  she replied.
	 Fishing through the ice?   Whatever for? 
	 Olives. 
`,
	`Hate the sin and love the sinner.
		-- Mahatma Gandhi
`,
	`NATHAN ... your PARENTS were in a CARCRASH!!  They re VOIDED -- They
COLLAPSED They had no CHAINSAWS ... They had no MONEY MACHINES ... They
did PILLS in SKIMPY GRASS SKIRTS ... Nathan, I EMULATED them ... but
they were OFF-KEY ...
`,
	`The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science
requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.
		-- Robert Heinlein
`,
	`Ditat Deus.
	[God enriches]
`,
	` The algorithm to do that is extremely nasty.  You might want to mug
someone with it. 
		-- M. Devine, Computer Science 340
`,
	`I joined scientology at a garage sale!!
`,
	`Never be afraid to tell the world who you are.
		-- Anonymous
`,
	`All is well that ends well.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`Shirley MacLaine died today in a freak psychic collision today.  Two freaks
in a van  [Oh no!!  It s the Copyright Police!!]  Her aura-charred body was
laid to rest after a eulogy by Jackie Collins, fellow member of SAFE [Society
of Asinine Flake Entertainers].  Excerpted from some of his more quotable
comments:

	 Truly a woman of the times.  These times, those times... 
	 A Renaissance woman.  Why in 1432... 
	 A man for all seasons.  Really... 

After the ceremony, Shirley thanked her mourners and explained how delightful
it was to  get it together  again, presumably referring to having her now dead
body join her long dead brain.
`,
	`A mighty creature is the germ,
Though smaller than the pachyderm.
His customary dwelling place
Is deep within the human race.
His childish pride he often pleases
By giving people strange diseases.
Do you, my poppet, feel infirm?
You probably contain a germ.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	`Many receive advice, few profit by it.
		-- Publilius Syrus
`,
	`[32m《次北固山下》[m
[33m作者：王湾[m
客路青山下，行舟绿水前。
潮平两岸阔，风正一帆悬。
海日生残夜，江春入旧年。
乡书何处达，归雁洛阳边。
`,
	`But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable
nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.
		-- Leslie Stephen,  Sketches from Cambridge 
`,
	`Children aren t happy without something to ignore,
And that s what parents were created for.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	`... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be
proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge
to mankind.  The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women
were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still
unimpeachable.  The judges  decisions based on it were sound in logic and
in law.  Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than
the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death.  If
there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute
of value.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`	Hack placidly amidst the noisy printers and remember what prizes there
may be in Science.  As fast as possible get a good terminal on a good system.
Enter your data clearly but always encrypt your results.  And listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant, for they may be your customers.  Avoid loud and
aggressive persons, for they are sales reps.
	If you compare your outputs with those of others, you may be surprised,
for always there will be greater and lesser numbers than you have crunched.
Keep others interested in your career, and try not to fumble; it can be a real
hassle and could change your fortunes in time.
	Exercise system control in your experiments, for the world is full of
bugs.  But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive
for linearity and everywhere papers are full of approximations.  Strive for
proportionality.  Especially, do not faint when it occurs.  Neither be cyclical
about results; for in the face of all data analysis it is sure to be noticed.
	Take with a grain of salt the anomalous data points.  Gracefully pass
them on to the youth at the next desk.  Nurture some mutual funds to shield
you in times of sudden layoffs.  But do not distress yourself with imaginings
-- the real bugs are enough to screw you badly.  Murphy s Law runs the
Universe -- and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt <Curl>B*n dS = 0.
	Therefore, grab for a piece of the pie, with whatever proposals you
can conceive of to try.  With all the crashed disks, skewed data, and broken
line printers, you can still have a beautiful secretary.  Be linear.  Strive
to stay employed.
		-- Technolorata,  Analog 
`,
	`love, n.:
	When it s growing, you don t mind watering it with a few tears.
`,
	`[32m题目:《四时田园杂兴》（选一）[m
[33m作者:范成大（１１２６－１１９３）[m
昼出耘田夜绩麻，村庄儿女各当家。
童孙未解供耕织，也傍桑阴学种瓜。
`,
	`Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft ... and the
only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
		-- Wernher von Braun
`,
	`[32m《登岳阳楼》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
昔闻洞庭水，今上岳阳楼。
吴楚东南坼，乾坤日夜浮。
亲朋无一字，老病有孤舟。
戎马关山北，凭轩涕泗流。
`,
	`One thing about the past.
It s likely to last.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	` Humpf!  Humpfed a voice!  For almost two days you ve run wild and insisted on
chatting with persons who ve never existed.  Such carryings-on in our peaceable
jungle!  We ve had quite enough of you bellowing bungle!  And I m here to
state,  snapped the big kangaroo,  That your silly nonsensical game is all
through!   And the young kangaroo in her pouch said,  Me, too! 
	 With the help of the Wickersham Brothers and dozens of Wickersham
Uncles and Wickersham Cousins and Wickersham In-Laws, whose help I ve engaged,
You re going to be roped!  And you re going to be caged!  And, as for your dust
speck...  Hah! That we shall boil in a hot steaming kettle of Beezle-Nut oil! 
		-- Dr. Seuss  Horton Hears a Who 
`,
	`The face of war has never changed.  Surely it is more logical to heal
than to kill.
		-- Surak of Vulcan,  The Savage Curtain , stardate 5906.5
`,
	`It is the theory which decides what can be observed.
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	`Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`A little experience often upsets a lot of theory.
`,
	`Bread and Circuits:
	The electronic era tendency to view party politics as corny --
no longer relevant of meaningful or useful to modern societal issues,
and in many cases dangerous.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice
and tragedy.  What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the
master calls a butterfly.
		-- Messiah s Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul
`,
	`Life is a POPULARITY CONTEST!  I m REFRESHINGLY CANDID!!
`,
	`The 80 s -- when you can t tell hairstyles from chemotherapy.
`,
	`I never vote for anyone.  I always vote against.
		-- W. C. Fields
`,
	`Just go ahead and write your own multitasking multiuser os!
Worked for me all the times.
		-- Linus Torvalds
`,
	`    if (argc > 1 && strcmp(argv[1],  -advice ) == 0) {
	printf( Don t Panic!\n );
	exit(42);
    }
(Arnold Robbins in the LJ of February  95, describing RCS)
`,
	`TOO BAD YOU CAN T BUY a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin
real fast and freak everybody out.
		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
`,
	`One man s Mede is another man s Persian.
		-- George M. Cohan
`,
	`Actually, the probability is 100% that the elevator will be going in the
right direction.  Proof by induction:

N=1.	Trivially true, since both you and the elevator only have one
	floor to go to.

Assume true for N, prove for N+1:
	If you are on any of the first N floors, then it is true by the
	induction hypothesis.  If you are on the N+1st floor, then both you
	and the elevator have only one choice, namely down.  Therefore,
	it is true for all N+1 floors.
QED.
`,
	`<Reed> It is important to note that the primary reason the Roman Empire
       fail is that they had no concept of zero... thus they could not
       test the success or failure of their C programs.
`,
	`The modern child will answer you back before you ve said anything.
		-- Laurence J. Peter
`,
	`You were s posed to laugh!
`,
	`We are Pentium of Borg.  Division is futile.  You will be approximated.
		-- seen in someone s .signature
`,
	`FORTUNE EXPLAINS WHAT JOB REVIEW CATCH PHRASES MEAN:	#1
skilled oral communicator:
	Mumbles inaudibly when attempting to speak.  Talks to self.
	Argues with self.  Loses these arguments.

skilled written communicator:
	Scribbles well.  Memos are invariable illegible, except for
	the portions that attribute recent failures to someone else.

growth potential:
	With proper guidance, periodic counselling, and remedial training,
	the reviewee may, given enough time and close supervision, meet
	the minimum requirements expected of him by the company.

key company figure:
	Serves as the perfect counter example.
`,
	`Any reproduction or redistribution of the Software not in accordance with the
License Agreement is expressly prohibited by law, and may result in severe
civil and criminal penalties.
`,
	` Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his
roars.  Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the
forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind
the railroad yards. 
- H. L. Mencken, writing of William Jennings Bryan, counsel for the supporters
  of Tennessee s anti-evolution law at the Scopes  Monkey Trial  in 1925.
`,
	`Linus:	Hi!  I thought it was you.
	I ve been watching you from way off...  You re looking great!
Snoopy:	That s nice to know.
	The secret of life is to look good at a distance.
`,
	`I m going to Vietnam at the request of the White House.  President Johnson
says a war isn t really a war without my jokes.
		-- Bob Hope
`,
	`<bfextu> oh noooo, Knghtbrd s got a gun :)
<doogie> ^^insert music^^
<Knghtbrd> bfextu - o/~ everybody is on the run o/~
<bfextu> o/~ run away, ruuuuun away from the pay-ay-ain o/~
`,
	`E Pluribus Unix
`,
	`QOTD:
	 Every morning I read the obituaries; if my name s not there,
	I go to work. 
`,
	`A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then
asks you not to kill him.
		-- Sir Winston Churchill, 1952
`,
	`What you don t know can hurt you, only you won t know it.
`,
	`Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling
the walk before it stops snowing.
		-- Phyllis Diller

There is no need to do any housework at all.  After the first four years
the dirt doesn t get any worse.
		-- Quentin Crisp
`,
	`Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic, but one of them is
paranoid and the other one is out to get him.
`,
	`-- Neophyte s serendipity.
-- Exclusive dedication to necessitious chores without interludes of
	hedonistic diversion renders John a hebetudinous fellow.
-- A revolving concretion of earthy or mineral matter accumulates no
	congeries of small, green bryophytic plant.
-- The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the
	optimal cachinnation.
-- Abstention from any aleatory undertaking precludes a potential
	escallation of a lucrative nature.
-- Missiles of ligneous or osteal consistency have the potential of
	fracturing osseous structure, but appellations will eternally
	remain innocuous.
`,
	`Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would
have preferred.
`,
	`[32m《秋日登吴公台上寺远眺》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
古台摇落后，秋入望乡心。
野寺来人少，云峰隔水深。
夕阳依旧垒，寒磬满空林。
惆怅南朝事，长江独自今。
`,
	`If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers.
But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.
		-- Swami Prabhupada
`,
	`flannister, n.:
	The plastic yoke that holds a six-pack of beer together.
		--  Sniglets , Rich Hall & Friends
`,
	`The qotc (quote of the con) was Liz s:
	 My brain is paged out to my liver. 
`,
	`The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and
incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.
		-- Emo Philips
`,
	`<chesty> xemacs fixed my flatulence
		-- From the  XEmacs: Not just an editor  department
`,
	`I wonder if there s anything GOOD on tonight?
`,
	`What soon grows old?  Gratitude.
		-- Aristotle
`,
	`We re Knights of the Round Table
We dance whene er we re able
We do routines and chorus scenes	We re knights of the Round Table
With footwork impeccable		Our shows are formidable
We dine well here in Camelot		But many times
We eat ham and jam and Spam a lot.	We re given rhymes
					That are quite unsingable
In war we re tough and able,		We re opera mad in Camelot
Quite indefatigable			We sing from the diaphragm a lot.
Between our quests
We sequin vests
And impersonate Clark Gable
It s a busy life in Camelot.
I have to push the pram a lot.
		-- Monty Python
`,
	`If you ve done six impossible things before breakfast, why not round it
off with dinner at Milliway s, the restaurant at the end of the universe?
		-- Douglas Adams,  The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 
`,
	` It was a virgin forest, a place where the Hand of Man had never set foot. 
`,
	`CONGRATULATIONS!  Now should I make thinly veiled comments about
DIGNITY, self-esteem and finding TRUE FUN in your RIGHT VENTRICLE??
`,
	`Have you seen how Sonny s burning,
Like some bright erotic star,
He lights up the proceedings,
And raises the temperature.
		-- The Birthday Party,  Sonny s Burning 
`,
	`Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would.
The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.
		-- Augustine
`,
	`History is on our side (as long as we can control the historians).
`,
	`I m just as sad as sad can be!
	I ve missed your special date.
Please say that you re not mad at me
	My tax return is late.
		-- Modern Lines for Modern Greeting Cards
`,
	`You will always find something in the last place you look.
`,
	`All the men on my staff can type.
		-- Bella Abzug
`,
	`The eagle may soar, but the weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine.
`,
	`It is generally agreed that  Hello  is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said  Goodbye,  it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp,  I m O.K., You re Not So Hot 
`,
	`Growing old isn t bad when you consider the alternatives.
		-- Maurice Chevalier
`,
	`Rap music is just computerised crap. I listen to Top of the Pops and after
three songs I feel like killing someone.
		-- George Harrison
`,
	`The best portion of a good man s life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts
of kindness and love.
		-- Wordsworth
`,
	`Time sure flies when you don t know what you re doing.
`,
	`Men s magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies.  Women s magazines
also often feature pictures of naked ladies.  This is because the female
body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and
should not be seen by the light of day.
		-- Richard Roeper,  Men and Women Are Different 
`,
	`You will pass away very quickly.
`,
	`Famous last words:
	(1)  Don t worry, I can handle it. 
	(2)  You and what army? 
	(3)  If you were as smart as you think you are, you wouldn t be
	     a cop. 
`,
	`A real person has two reasons for doing anything ... a good reason and
the real reason.
`,
	`After this was written there appeared a remarkable posthumous memoir that
throws some doubt on Millikan s leading role in these experiments.  Harvey
Fletcher (1884-1981), who was a graduate student at the University of Chicago,
at Millikan s suggestion worked on the measurement of electronic charge for
his doctoral thesis, and co-authored some of the early papers on this subject
with Millikan.  Fletcher left a manuscript with a friend with instructions
that it be published after his death; the manuscript was published in
Physics Today, June 1982, page 43.  In it, Fletcher claims that he was the
first to do the experiment with oil drops, was the first to measure charges on
single droplets, and may have been the first to suggest the use of oil.
According to Fletcher, he had expected to be co-authored with Millikan on
the crucial first article announcing the measurement of the electronic
charge, but was talked out of this by Millikan.
		-- Steven Weinberg,  The Discovery of Subatomic Particles 

Robert Millikan is generally credited with making the first really
precise measurement of the charge on an electron and was awarded the
Nobel Prize in 1923.
`,
	`Due to a shortage of devoted followers, the production of great leaders
has been discontinued.
`,
	`Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents 
shortcomings.
		-- Laurence J. Peter,  Peter s Principles 
`,
	`sushi, n.:
	When that-which-may-still-be-alive is put on top of rice and
	strapped on with electrical tape.
`,
	`You can t cheat the phone company.
`,
	`What is the sound of one hand clapping?
`,
	`Q:	Are we not men?
A:	We are Vaxen.
`,
	`Keep the number of passes in a compiler to a minimum.
		-- D. Gries
`,
	`[32m题目:《与薛肇明弈棋赌梅花诗输一首》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
华发寻春喜见梅，一株临路雪倍堆。
凤城南陌他年忆，香杳难随驿使来。
`,
	`He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.
		-- Benjamin Franklin
`,
	`yo-yo, n.:
	Something that is occasionally up but normally down.
	(see also Computer).
`,
	`The nation that controls magnetism controls the universe.
		-- Chester Gould/Dick Tracy
`,
	`	 It s today!  said Piglet.
	 My favorite day,  said Pooh.
`,
	`QOTD:
	 I haven t come far enough, and don t call me baby. 
`,
	`Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced -- even a proverb is no proverb
to you till your life has illustrated it.  -- John Keats
`,
	`It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
`,
	`Spock: The odds of surviving another attack are 13562190123 to 1, Captain.
`,
	`A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength.  It has been universally
established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon
or three normal sized billiard balls.
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Light Fantastic 
`,
	`A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
`,
	`Somewhere, just out of sight, the unicorns are gathering.
`,
	`Practice yourself what you preach.
		-- Titus Maccius Plautus
`,
	`What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody
really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time,
whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style  hold  for
two to three hours, during which it just remains 7 a.m.  This way we could
all wake up via a civilized gradual process of stretching and belching and
scratching, and it would still be only 7 a.m. when we were ready to actually
emerge from bed.
		-- Dave Barry,  $#$%#^%!^%&@%@! 
`,
	`The hearing ear is always found close to the speaking tongue, a custom
whereof the memory of man runneth not howsomever to the contrary, nohow.
`,
	`DOS: n., A small annoying boot virus that causes random spontaneous system
     crashes, usually just before saving a massive project.  Easily cured by
     UNIX.  See also MS-DOS, IBM-DOS, DR-DOS.
(from David Vicker s .plan)
`,
	`Is knowledge knowable?  If not, how do we know that?
`,
	`Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?
		-- Karl Kraus
`,
	`What they said:
	What they meant:

 I recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever. 
	(Yes, that about sums it up.)
 The amount of mathematics she knows will surprise you. 
	(And I recommend not giving that school a dime...)
 I simply can t say enough good things about him. 
	(What a screw-up.)
 I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine. 
	(I can t tell you how happy I am that she left our firm.)
 When this person left our employ, we were quite hopeful he would go
a long way with his skills. 
	(We hoped he d go as far as possible.)
 You won t find many people like her. 
	(In fact, most people can t stand being around her.)
 I cannot recommend him too highly. 
	(However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
	 felony in my presence.)
`,
	`To be loved is very demoralizing.
		-- Katharine Hepburn
`,
	`List at least two alternate dates.
`,
	`Every why hath a wherefore.
		-- William Shakespeare,  A Comedy of Errors 
`,
	`[32m《送僧归日本》[m
[33m作者：钱起[m
上国随缘住，来途若梦行。
浮天沧海远，去世法舟轻。
水月通禅寂，鱼龙听梵声。
惟怜一灯影，万里眼中明。
`,
	`There are more things in heaven and earth than any place else.
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was
   a victim?
`,
	`Love is like a friendship caught on fire.  In the beginning a flame, very
pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering.  As love
grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning
and unquenchable.
		-- Bruce Lee
`,
	`[32m《送孟浩然之广陵》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
故人西辞黄鹤楼，烟花三月下扬州。
孤帆远影碧空尽，惟见长江天际流。
`,
	`> You know you are  there  when you are known by your first name, and
> are recognized.
> Lemmie see, there is Madonna, and Linus, and ..... help me out here!

Bill ? ;-)
		-- From some postings on comp.os.linux.misc
`,
	`Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket Bibles which are on very
very thin paper.
`,
	`Of course, you UNDERSTAND about the PLAIDS in the SPIN CYCLE --
`,
	`Debian is the Jedi operating system:  Always two there are, a master and
an apprentice .
		-- Simon Richter on debian-devel
`,
	`Ralph s Observation:
	It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you
	are in a hurry.
`,
	`Rules for Academic Deans:
	(1)  HIDE!!!!
	(2)  If they find you, LIE!!!!
		-- Father Damian C. Fandal
`,
	` To undertake a project, as the word s derivation indicates, means to cast an
idea out ahead of oneself so that it gains autonomy and is fulfilled not only
by the efforts of its originator but, indeed, independently of him as well.
		-- Czeslaw Milosz
`,
	`When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one,
an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
		-- Edmund Burke
`,
	`Happiness is a hard disk.
`,
	`A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.
		-- Victor Hugo
`,
	`Connector Conspiracy, n:
	[probably came into prominence with the appearance of the KL-10,
	none of whose connectors match anything else] The tendency of
	manufacturers (or, by extension, programmers or purveyors of anything)
	to come up with new products which don t fit together with the old
	stuff, thereby making you buy either all new stuff or expensive
	interface devices.
`,
	`Our informal mission is to improve the love life of operators worldwide.
		-- Peter Behrendt, president of Exabyte
`,
	`alta, v:	To change; make or become different; modify.
ansa, v:	A spoken or written reply, as to a question.
baa, n:		A place people meet to have a few drinks.
Baaston, n:	The capital of Massachusetts.
baaba, n:	One whose business is to cut or trim hair or beards.
beea, n:	An alcoholic beverage brewed from malt and hops, often
			found in baas.
caaa, n:	An automobile.
centa, n:	A point around which something revolves; axis.  (Or
			someone involved with the Knicks.)
chouda, n:	A thick seafood soup, often in a milk base.
dada, n:	Information, esp. information organized for analysis or
			computation.
		-- Massachewsetts Unabridged Dictionary
`,
	`Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.
		-- Julius Caesar
`,
	`The person who can smile when something goes wrong has thought of
someone to blame it on.
`,
	`October 12, the Discovery.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss
it.
		-- Mark Twain,  Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar 
`,
	`Restaurant package, not for resale.
`,
	`I have found little that is good about human beings.  In my experience
most of them are trash.
		-- Sigmund Freud
`,
	`<jgoerzen> stu: ahh that machine.  Don t you think that something named
           stallman deserves to be an Alpha? :-)
<stu> jgoerzen: no, actually, I d prolly be more inclined to name a 386
      with 4 megs of ram and a 40 meg hard drive stallman.
<stu> with a big fat case that makes tons of noise and rattles the floor
* Knghtbrd falls to the floor holding his sides laughing
<stu> and..
<stu> double-height hard drive
`,
	`Schshschshchsch.
		-- The Gorn,  Arena , stardate 3046.2
`,
	`There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a
rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2,
to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the
manuscript of his forthcoming book.  No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2
admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.
		-- Mark Twain,  Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar 
`,
	`I ve always felt sorry for people that don t drink -- remember,
when they wake up, that s as good as they re gonna feel all day!
`,
	`Nobody suffers the pain of birth or the anguish of loving a child in order
for presidents to make wars, for governments to feed on the substance of
their people, for insurance companies to cheat the young and rob the old.
		-- Lewis Lapham
`,
	`An interpretation _I satisfies a sentence in the table language if and only if
each entry in the table designates the value of the function designated by the
function constant in the upper-left corner applied to the objects designated
by the corresponding row and column labels.
		-- Genesereth & Nilsson,  Logical foundations of Artificial
		   Intelligence 
`,
	`Better hope the life-inspector doesn t come around while you have your
life in such a mess.
`,
	`This must be morning.  I never could get the hang of mornings.
`,
	` Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can t like it. 
		-- Marvin the paranoid android
`,
	`Our sires  age was worse that our grandsires .
We their sons are more worthless than they:
so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.
		-- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)
`,
	`All I ask is a chance to prove that money can t make me happy.
`,
	`Why isn t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
		-- Lily Tomlin
`,
	`	 I assure you the thought never even crossed my mind, lord. 
	 Indeed?  Then if I were you I d sue my face for slander. 
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Colour of Magic 
`,
	`Your own mileage may vary.
`,
	`Care at the Beginning

What lies still is easy to grasp;
What lies far off is easy to anticipate;
What is brittle is easy to shatter;
What is small is easy to disperse.
Yet a tree broader than a man can embrace is born of a tiny shoot;
A dam greater than a river can overflow starts with a clod of
earth;
A journey of a thousand miles begins at the spot under one s feet.
Therefore deal with things before they happen;
Create order before there is confusion.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`If you had just a minute to breathe,
And they granted you one final wish,
Would you ask for something
Like another chance?
		-- Traffic,  The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys 
`,
	`You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.
`,
	`[32m《春思》[m
[33m作者：皇甫冉[m
莺啼燕语报新年，马邑龙堆路几千。
家住层城临汉苑，心随明月到胡天。
机中锦字论长恨，楼上花枝笑独眠。
为问元戎窦车骑，何时返旆勒燕然。
`,
	`Male, n.:
	A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex.  The male of the
	human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man.  The genus
	has two varieties:  good providers and bad providers.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`[32m题目:《元日》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
爆竹声中一岁除，春风送暖入屠苏。
千门万户曈曈日，总把新桃换旧符。
`,
	`When we talk of tomorrow, the gods laugh.
`,
	`Between grand theft and a legal fee, there only stands a law degree.
`,
	`The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.
		-- B. Franklin
`,
	`If men are not afraid to die,
it is of no avail to threaten them with death.

If men live in constant fear of dying,
And if breaking the law means a man will be killed,
Who will dare to break the law?

There is always an official executioner.
If you try to take his place,
It is like trying to be a master carpenter and cutting wood.
If you try to cut wood like a master carpenter,
	you will only hurt your hand.
		-- Tao Te Ching,  Lao Tsu, #74 
`,
	`Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is
the best one.
		-- Jack Hurley
`,
	`You!  What PLANET is this!
		-- McCoy,  The City on the Edge of Forever , stardate 3134.0
`,
	`See label for sequence.
`,
	`It s computer hardware, of course it s worth having <g>
		-- Espy on #Debian
`,
	`Dying is easy.  Comedy is difficult.
		-- Actor Edmond Gween, on his deathbed.
`,
	`Razors pain you;
	Rivers are damp.
	Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren t lawful;
	Nooses give.
	Gas smells awful--
You might as well live!
		-- Dorothy Parker,  Resume , 1926
`,
	`Things past redress and now with me past care.
		-- William Shakespeare,  Richard II 
`,
	` I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell s ass. 
- Senator Barry Goldwater, when asked what he thought of Jerry Falwell s
suggestion that all good Christians should be against Sandra Day O Connor s
nomination to the Supreme Court
`,
	`Revenge is a form of nostalgia.
`,
	`All the existing 2.0.x kernels are to buggy for 2.1.x to be the
main goal.
		-- Alan Cox
`,
	`PURGE COMPLETE.
`,
	`Take your dying with some seriousness, however.  Laughing on the way to
your execution is not generally understood by less advanced life forms,
and they ll call you crazy.
		--  Messiah s Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul 
`,
	`Do you think the  Monkees  should get gas on odd or even days?
`,
	`	Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
	Walla Walla, Wash., an  Kalamazoo!
	Nora s freezin  on the trolley,
	Swaller dollar cauliflower, alleygaroo!

	Don t we know archaic barrel,
	Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou.
	Trolley Molly don t love Harold,
	Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
		-- Pogo,  Deck Us All With Boston Charlie  [Walt Kelly]
`,
	`We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours!
(Adapted from Pat Paulsen by Joe Sloan)
`,
	` Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it. 
		-- Alex Schure
`,
	`There s enough money here to buy 5000 cans of Noodle-Roni!
`,
	`Computer Science is merely the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.
`,
	`Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.
		-- Arthur Baer
`,
	`Fortune s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #29:

THE JUDGE: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present
	   information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any ...
`,
	`I finally went to the eye doctor.  I got contacts.  I only need them to
read, so I got flip-ups.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`[32m《近试上张水部》[m
[33m作者：朱庆余[m
洞房昨夜停红烛，待晓堂前拜舅姑。
妆罢低声问夫婿，画眉深浅入时无。
`,
	`Oh, wait, that was Randal...nevermind...
		-- Larry Wall in <199709261754.KAA23761@wall.org>
`,
	`A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on.
		-- Fred Allen
`,
	`When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
`,
	`Just because they are called  forbidden  transitions does not mean that they
are forbidden.  They are less allowed than allowed transitions, if you see
what I mean.
		-- From a Part 2 Quantum Mechanics lecture.
`,
	`When the wind is great, bow before it;
when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
`,
	`A gentleman is a man who wouldn t hit a lady with his hat on.
		-- Evan Esar
		[ And why not?  For why does she have his hat on?  Ed.]
`,
	`A man s best friend is his dogma.
`,
	`Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.
		-- Jean Anouilh
`,
	`To those accustomed to the precise, structured methods of conventional
system development, exploratory development techniques may seem messy,
inelegant, and unsatisfying.  But it s a question of congruence:
precision and flexibility may be just as disfunctional in novel,
uncertain situations as sloppiness and vacillation are in familiar,
well-defined ones.  Those who admire the massive, rigid bone structures
of dinosaurs should remember that jellyfish still enjoy their very
secure ecological niche.
		-- Beau Sheil,  Power Tools for Programmers 
`,
	`If everything is coming your way then you re in the wrong lane.
`,
	`HEY KIDS!  ANN LANDERS SAYS:
	Be sure it s true, when you say  I love you .  It s a sin to
	tell a lie.  Millions of hearts have been broken, just because
	these words were spoken.
`,
	`Lieberman s Law:
	Everybody lies, but it doesn t matter since nobody listens.
`,
	`Well, I m INVISIBLE AGAIN ... I might as well pay a visit to the LADIES
ROOM ...
`,
	`During the voyage of life, remember to keep an eye out for a fair wind; batten
down during a storm; hail all passing ships; and fly your colors proudly.
`,
	`The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.
		-- Hosea Ballou
`,
	` As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and
I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a scientist.
This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls. 
		-- Matt Cartmill
`,
	`The only way to learn a new programming language is by writing programs in it.
		-- Brian Kernighan
`,
	`Remember the good old days, when CPU was singular?
`,
	`I hate small towns because once you ve seen the cannon in the park
there s nothing else to do.
		-- Lenny Bruce
`,
	`Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
		-- Sam Brown,  The Washington Post , January 26, 1977
`,
	`... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech
or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility.  What
did it matter what anyone knew or ignored?  What did it matter who was
manager?  One gets sometimes such a flash of insight. The essentials of
this affair lay deep under the surface, beyond my reach, and beyond my
power of meddling.
		-- Joseph Conrad
`,
	`Teamwork is essential -- it allows you to blame someone else.
`,
	`Most folks they like the daytime,
	 cause they like to see the shining sun.
They re up in the morning,
	off and a-running till they re too tired for having fun.
But when the sun goes down,
	and the bright lights shine, my daytime has just begun.

Now there are two sides to this great big world,
	and one of them is always night.
If you can take care of business in the sunshine, baby,
	I guess you re gonna be all right.
Don t come looking for me to lend you a hand.
	My eyes just can t stand the light.

 Cause I m a night owl honey, sleep all day long.
		-- Carly Simon
`,
	`And furthermore, my bowling average is unimpeachable!!!
`,
	`You can t hold a man down without staying down with him.
		-- Booker T. Washington
`,
	`<robert> i understand there are some reasonable limits to free speech in
         america, for example I cannot scream Fire into a crowded theatre
	 .. But can i scream fire into a theatre with only 5 or 6 poeple
	 in it ?
`,
	`Stenderup s Law:
	The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
`,
	`Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean
of Academics because he was concerned about his players  mental abilities.
 My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them , he told the
unbelieving dean.  At this point, one of his players happened to enter
the dean s office.   Let me show you what I mean , said Sherrill, and he
told the player to run over to his office to see if he was in.   OK, Coach ,
the player replied, and was off.   See what I mean?  Sherrill asked.
 Yeah , replied the dean.   He could have just picked up this phone and
called you from here. 
`,
	`I ve run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few
months.  I just love debugging ;-)
(Linus Torvalds)
`,
	`It s more than magnificent -- it s mediocre.
		-- Sam Goldwyn
`,
	`[32m题目:《寄黄几复》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
我居北海君南海，寄雁传书谢不能。
桃李春风一杯酒，江湖夜雨十年灯。
持家但有四立壁，治国不蕲三折肱。
想得读书头已白，隔溪猿哭瘴烟滕。
`,
	`A man in love is incomplete until he is married.  Then he is finished.
		-- Zsa Zsa Gabor,  Newsweek 
`,
	`Dental health is next to mental health.
`,
	`In a minimum-phase system there is an inextricable link between
frequency response, phase response and transient response, as they
are all merely transforms of one another.  This combined with
minimalization of open-loop errors in output amplifiers and correct
compensation for non-linear passive crossover network loading can
lead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost.  However,
this all means jack when you listen to Pink Floyd.
`,
	`The person who marries for money usually earns every penny of it.
`,
	`I think my career is ruined!
`,
	`Minimum charge for booths.
`,
	`Ballistophobia:
	Fear of bullets;
Otophobia:
	Fear of opening one s eyes.
Peccatophobia:
	Fear of sinning.
Taphephobia:
	Fear of being buried alive.
Sitophobia:
	Fear of food.
Trichophobbia:
	Fear of hair.
Vestiphobia:
	Fear of clothing.
`,
	`The Lord prefers common-looking people.  That is the reason that He makes
so many of them.
		-- Abraham Lincoln
`,
	`Yes me, I got a bottle in front of me.
And Jimmy has a frontal lobotomy.
Just different ways to kill the pain the same.
But I d rather have a bottle in front of me,
Than to have to have a frontal lobotomy.
I might be drunk but at least I m not insane.
		-- Randy Ansley M.D. (Dr. Rock)
`,
	`Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.
		-- Picasso
`,
	`<Iambe> you are not a nutcase
<Knghtbrd> You obviously don t know me well enough yet.  =>
`,
	`Let us treat men and women well;
Treat them as if they were real;
Perhaps they are.
		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
`,
	`	Approaching the gates of the monastery, Hakuin found Ken the Zen
preaching to a group of disciples.
	 Words...  Ken orated,  they are but an illusory veil obfuscating
the absolute reality of -- 
	 Ken!  Hakuin interrupted.  Your fly is down! 
	Whereupon the Clear Light of Illumination exploded upon Ken, and he
vaporized.
	On the way to town, Hakuin was greeted by an itinerant monk imbued
with the spirit of the morning.
	 Ah,  the monk sighed, a beatific smile wrinkling across his cheeks,
 Thou art That... 
	 Ah,  Hakuin replied, pointing excitedly,  And Thou art Fat! 
	Whereupon the Clear Light of Illumination exploded upon the monk,
and he vaporized.
	Next, the Governor sought the advice of Hakuin, crying:  As our
enemies bear down upon us, how shall I, with such heartless and callow
soldiers as I am heir to, hope to withstand the impending onslaught? 
	 US?  snapped Hakuin.
	Whereupon the Clear Light of Illumination exploded upon the
Governor, and he vaporized.
	Then, a redneck went up to Hakuin and vaporized the old Master with
his shotgun.   Ha! Beat ya  to the punchline, ya  scrawny li l geek! 
`,
	`He who laughs last usually had to have joke explained.
`,
	`They will only cause the lower classes to move about needlessly.
		-- The Duke of Wellington, on early steam railroads.
`,
	`In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus,
 one when he was a boy and one when he was a man. 
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
`,
	`[32m《玉阶怨》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
玉阶生白露，夜久侵罗袜。
却下水晶帘，玲珑望秋月。
`,
	`There s a thrill in store for all for we re about to toast
The corporation that we represent.
We re here to cheer each pioneer and also proudly boast,
Of that man of men our sterling president
The name of T. J. Watson means
A courage none can stem
And we feel honored to be here to toast the IBM.
		-- Ever Onward, from the 1940 IBM Songbook
`,
	`No problem is insoluble.
		-- Dr. Janet Wallace,  The Deadly Years , stardate 3479.4
`,
	` If you don t want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do:  Pour a little
Lavoris in the toilet. 
		-- Jay Leno
`,
	`Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
		-- Robert Heinlein
`,
	`<Joey> gorgo: *lol*
<gorgo> joey: what s so funny? :)
<Culus> shh, joey is losing all sanity from lack of sleep
<Culus>  yes joey, very funny 
<Culus> Humor him :>
		-- Seen on #Debian
`,
	`And miles to go before I sleep.
		-- Robert Frost
`,
	`Women are not much, but they are the best other sex we have.
		-- Herold
`,
	`Accept

Harmony is only in following the Way.
The Way is without form or quality,
But expresses all forms and qualities;
The Way is hidden and implicate,
But expresses all of nature;
The Way is unchanging,
But expresses all motion.
Beneath sensation and memory
The Way is the source of all the world.
How can I understand the source of the world?
By accepting.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Why is it that when you DIE, you can t take your HOME ENTERTAINMENT
CENTER with you??
`,
	`	 No one talks peace unless he s ready to back it up with war. 
	 He talks of peace if it is the only way to live. 
		-- Colonel Green and Surak of Vulcan,  The Savage Curtain ,
		   stardate 5906.5.
`,
	`How many QA engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

3: 1 to screw it in and 2 to say  I told you so  when it doesn t work.
`,
	`A bunch of the boys were whooping it in the Malemute saloon;
The kid that handles the music box was hitting a jag-time tune;
Back of the bar, in a solo game, sat Dangerous Dan McGrew,
And watching his luck was his light-o -love, the lady that s known as Lou.
		-- Robert W. Service
`,
	`Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.
		-- Christopher Plummer
`,
	`Life is like arriving late for a movie, having to figure out what was
going on without bothering everybody with a lot of questions, and then
being unexpectedly called away before you find out how it ends.
`,
	`We have a policy that we are not being hacked.
		-- Lisa Kopp, Friendster rep, commenting on a security flaw
       http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/12.06/dating_pr.html
`,
	`I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out.
The weatherman said  I don t understand it.  I was supposed to be 80
degrees today,  and I said  Oops. 

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so
I never have to go upstairs.

I just bought a microwave fireplace... You can spend an evening in
front of it in only eight minutes.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`No house should ever be on any hill or on anything.  It should be of the hill,
belonging to it.
		-- Frank Lloyd Wright
`,
	`What good is it if you talk in flowers, and they think in pastry?
		-- Ashleigh Brilliant
`,
	`Beauty is truth, truth beauty, that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.
		-- John Keats
`,
	`I steal.
		-- Sam Giancana, explaining his livelihood to his draft board

Easy.  I own Chicago.  I own Miami.  I own Las Vegas.
		-- Sam Giancana, when asked what he did for a living
`,
	`He that would govern others, first should be the master of himself.
`,
	`The person who s taking you to lunch has no intention of paying.
`,
	`My uncle Murray conquered Egypt in 53 B.C.  And I can prove it too!!
`,
	`If only you knew she loved you, you could face the uncertainty of
whether you love her.
`,
	`Mac Airways:
The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look the same, feel the same
and act the same. When asked questions about the flight, they reply that you
don t want to know, don t need to know and would you please return to your
seat and watch the movie.
`,
	`	Friends were surprised, indeed, when Frank and Jennifer broke their
engagement, but Frank had a ready explanation:  Would you marry someone who
was habitually unfaithful, who lied at every turn, who was selfish and lazy
and sarcastic? 
	 Of course not,  said a sympathetic friend.
	 Well,  retorted Frank,  neither would Jennifer. 
`,
	`Don t everyone thank me at once!
		-- Han Solo
`,
	`It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start life as children.
		-- Kingsley Amis
`,
	`Operating-system software is the program that orchestrates all the basic
functions of a computer.
		-- The Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, September 15, 1987, page 40
`,
	`Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.
`,
	`When the saleman s car broke down, he walked to the nearest farmhouse to ask
if he could stay the night.  The farmer agreed to put him up.   I live alone, 
he continued,  you can have the bedroom at the top of the stairs, to the
right. 
	 Oh, never mind,  the disappointed salesman said.  I think I m in
the wrong joke. 
`,
	` One thing they don t tell you about doing experimental physics is that
 sometimes you must work under adverse conditions... like a state of sheer
 terror. 
		-- W. K. Hartmann
`,
	`The rate at which a disease spreads through a corn field is a precise
measurement of the speed of blight.
`,
	`If I m over the hill, why is it I don t recall ever being on top?
		-- Jerry Muscha
`,
	`Better hope you get what you want before you stop wanting it.
`,
	`	 The release of emotion is what keeps us health.  Emotionally healthy. 
	 That may be, Doctor.  However, I have noted that the healthy release
of emotion is frequently unhealthy for those closest to you. 
		-- McCoy and Spock,  Plato s Stepchildren , stardate 5784.3
`,
	`[32m《江雪》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
千山鸟飞绝，万径人踪灭。
孤舟蓑笠翁，独钓寒江雪。
`,
	`bureaucracy, n:
	A method for transforming energy into solid waste.
`,
	`I really hate this damned machine
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does quite what I want
But only what I tell it.
`,
	`I d never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member.
		-- Groucho Marx
`,
	`[32m《闺怨》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
闺中少妇不知愁，春日凝妆上翠楼。
忽见陌头杨柳色，悔教夫婿觅封侯。
`,
	`I ve never been drunk, but often I ve been overserved.
		-- George Gobel
`,
	`Look!  A ladder!  Maybe it leads to heaven, or a sandwich!
`,
	`You may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will
be sold.
`,
	`	One day a student came to Moon and said,  I understand how to make
a better garbage collector.  We must keep a reference count of the pointers
to each cons. 
	Moon patiently told the student the following story --  One day a
student came to Moon and said,  I understand how to make a better garbage
collector... 
`,
	`Agnes  Law:
	Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.
`,
	`It s a good thing we don t get all the government we pay for.
`,
	`Thus spake the master programmer:
	 When a program is being tested, it is too late to make design changes. 
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.
		-- H. L. Mencken
`,
	`The difference between a good haircut and a bad one is seven days.
`,
	`Fortune s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #19:

Q:  Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A:  All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
`,
	`And as we stand on the edge of darkness
Let our chant fill the void
That others may know

	In the land of the night
	The ship of the sun
	Is drawn by
	The grateful dead.
		-- Tibetan  Book of the Dead,  ca. 4000 BC.
`,
	`When you jump for joy, beware that no-one moves the ground from beneath
your feet.
		-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec,  Unkempt Thoughts 
`,
	`Canada Bill Jones s Motto:
	It s morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Canada Bill Jones s Supplement:
	A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
`,
	`The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not
utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind,
a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.
		-- Bertrand Russell, in  Marriage and Morals , 1929
`,
	`I ve read SEVEN MILLION books!!
`,
	`Correspondence Corollary:
	An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half
	your data must be discarded to obtain correspondence with your theory.
`,
	`Suffering alone exists, none who suffer;
The deed there is, but no doer thereof;
Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it;
The Path there is, but none who travel it.
		--  Buddhist Symbolism , Symbols and Values
`,
	`Sleep is for the weak and sickly.
`,
	`<LackOfKan> What are  bots ?
<  Erik> rsg is a bot, not a human, not a human usable client, just a bot.
<  Erik> about the same as a quake bot, except irc bots are (usually)
         built to help, not shoot your ass full of holes
`,
	`Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York
City.  One is  Hey, taxi.   Two is,  What train do I take to get to
Bloomingdale s?   And three is,  Don t worry.  It s just a flesh wound. 
		-- David Letterman
`,
	`Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we use the ones we have?
`,
	`Extreme feminine beauty is always disturbing.
		-- Spock,  The Cloud Minders , stardate 5818.4
`,
	`Used staples are good with SOY SAUCE!
`,
	`We prefer to speak evil of ourselves rather than not speak of ourselves at all.
`,
	` You know, we ve won awards for this crap. 
		-- David Letterman
`,
	`Use an accordion.  Go to jail.
		-- KFOG, San Francisco
`,
	`No good deed goes unpunished.
		-- Clare Booth Luce
`,
	`It s very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it s time for the
venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.
		-- Peter Kennedy, chairman of Kraft & Kennedy.
`,
	`Harp not on that string.
		-- William Shakespeare,  Henry VI 
`,
	`Well, hey, let s just make everything into a closure, and then we ll
have our general garbage collector, installed by  use less memory .
		-- Larry Wall in <199710221744.KAA24484@wall.org>
`,
	`The 357.73 Theory:
	Auditors always reject expense accounts
	with a bottom line divisible by 5.
`,
	`Signs of crime: screaming or cries for help.
		-- The Brown University Security Crime Prevention Pamphlet
`,
	`I ve seen people with new children before, they go from ultra happy to
looking like something out of a zombie film in about a week.
		-- Alan Cox about Linus after his 2nd daughter
`,
	`Let s say the docs present a simplified view of reality...    :-)
		-- Larry Wall in  <6940@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`A penny saved is ridiculous.
`,
	`If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out but tomfoolery.
But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine,
is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticise it.
		-- Pierre Gallois
`,
	`Ya ll hear about the geometer who went to the beach to catch some
rays and became a tangent ?
`,
	`Old men are fond of giving good advice to console themselves for their
inability to set a bad example.
		-- La Rochefoucauld,  Maxims 
`,
	`The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
		-- Paul Erlich
`,
	`May you live in interesting times.
		-- Chinese proverb
`,
	`Steady movement is more important than speed, much of the time.  So long
as there is a regular progression of stimuli to get your mental hooks
into, there is room for lateral movement.  Once this begins, its rate is
a matter of discretion.
		-- Corwin, Prince of Amber
`,
	`The Thought Police are here.  They ve come
To put you under cardiac arrest.
And as they drag you through the door
They tell you that you ve failed the test.
		-- Buggles,  Living in the Plastic Age 
`,
	`	The Lord and I are in a sheep-shepherd relationship, and I am in
a position of negative need.
	He prostrates me in a green-belt grazing area.
	He conducts me directionally parallel to non-torrential aqueous
liquid.
	He returns to original satisfaction levels my psychological makeup.
	He switches me on to a positive behavioral format for maximal
prestige of His identity.
	It should indeed be said that notwithstanding the fact that I make
ambulatory progress through the umbragious inter-hill mortality slot, terror
sensations will no be initiated in me, due to para-etical phenomena.
	Your pastoral walking aid and quadrupic pickup unit introduce me
into a pleasurific mood state.
	You design and produce a nutriment-bearing furniture-type structure
in the context of non-cooperative elements.
	You act out a head-related folk ritual employing vegetable extract.
	My beverage utensil experiences a volume crisis.
	It is an ongoing deductible fact that your inter-relational
empathetical and non-ventious capabilities will retain me as their
target-focus for the duration of my non-death period, and I will possess
tenant rights in the housing unit of the Lord on a permanent, open-ended
time basis.
`,
	`If people have to choose between freedom and sandwiches, they
will take sandwiches.
		-- Lord Boyd-orr

Eats first, morals after.
		-- Bertolt Brecht,  The Threepenny Opera 
`,
	`That money talks,
I ll not deny,
I heard it once,
It said  Good-bye.
		-- Richard Armour
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
`,
	`If you didn t have to work so hard, you d have more time to be depressed.
`,
	`Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.
`,
	`Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers
in heavy weather for several days.  I was serving on the lead battleship and
was on watch on the bridge as night fell.  The visibility was poor with patchy
fog, so the Captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.
	Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported,
 Light, bearing on the starboard bow. 
	 Is it steady or moving astern?  the Captain called out.
	Lookout replied,  Steady, Captain,  which meant we were on a dangerous
collision course with that ship.
	The Captain then called to the signalman,  Signal that ship: We are on
a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees. 
	Back came a signal  Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees. 
	In reply, the Captain said,  Send: I m a Captain, change course 20
degrees! 
	 I m a seaman second class,  came the reply,  You had better change
course 20 degrees. 
	By that time, the Captain was furious. He spit out,  Send: I m a
battleship, change course 20 degrees. 
	Back came the flashing light:  I m a lighthouse! 
	We changed course.
		-- The Naval Institute s  Proceedings 
`,
	`[32m《寻南溪常山道人隐居》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
一路经行处，莓苔见屐痕。
白云依静渚，芳草闭闲门。
过雨看松色，随山到水源。
溪花与禅意，相对亦忘言。
`,
	`I was working on a case.  It had to be a case, because I couldn t afford a
desk.  Then I saw her.  This tall blond lady.  She must have been tall
because I was on the third floor.  She rolled her deep blue eyes towards
me.  I picked them up and rolled them back.  We kissed.  She screamed.  I
took the cigarette from my mouth and kissed her again.
`,
	`Jane and I got mixed up with a television show -- or as we call it back
east here: TV -- a clever contraction derived from the words Terrible
Vaudeville. However, it is our latest medium -- we call it a medium
because nothing s well done. It was discovered, I suppose you ve heard,
by a man named Fulton Berle, and it has already revolutionized social
grace by cutting down parlour conversation to two sentences:  What s on
television?  and  Good night .
		-- Goodman Ace, letter to Groucho Marx, in The Groucho
		   Letters, 1967
`,
	`Serocki s Stricture:
	Marriage is always a bachelor s last option.
`,
	`Once upon a time, when I was training to be a mathematician, a group of
us bright young students taking number theory discovered the names of the
smaller prime numbers.

2:  The Odd Prime --
	It s the only even prime, therefore is odd.  QED.
3:  The True Prime --
	Lewis Carroll:  If I tell you 3 times, it s true. 
31: The Arbitrary Prime --
	Determined by unanimous unvote.  We needed an arbitrary prime in
	case the prof asked for one, and so had an election.  91 received
	the most votes (well, it *looks* prime) and 3+4i the next most.
	However, 31 was the only candidate to receive none at all.
41: The Female Prime --
	The polynomial X**2 - X + 41 is
	prime for integer values from 1 to 40.
43: The Male Prime - they form a prime pair.

Since the composite numbers are formed from primes, their qualities
are derived from those primes.  So, for instance, the number 6 is  odd
but true , while the powers of 2 are all extremely odd numbers.
`,
	`Q: Somebody just posted that Roman Polanski directed Star Wars.  What
should I do?

A: Post the correct answer at once!  We can t have people go on believing
that!  Very good of you to spot this.  You ll probably be the only one to
make the correction, so post as soon as you can.  No time to lose, so
certainly don t wait a day, or check to see if somebody else has made the
correction.

And it s not good enough to send the message by mail.  Since you re the
only one who really knows that it was Francis Coppola, you have to inform
the whole net right away!

		-- Brad Templeton, _Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette_
`,
	`The Way

The Way that can be experienced is not true;
The world that can be constructed is not real.
The Way manifests all that happens and may happen;
The world represents all that exists and may exist.
To experience without abstraction is to sense the world;
To experience with abstraction is to know the world.
These two experiences are indistinguishable;
Their construction differs but their effect is the same.
Beyond the gate of experience flows the Way,
Which is ever greater and more subtle than the world.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`The reverse side also has a reverse side.
		-- Japanese proverb
`,
	`The Messiah will come.  There will be a resurrection of the dead -- all
the things that Jews believed in before they got so damn sophisticated.
		-- Rabbi Meir Kahane
`,
	`Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to
corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in
favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.
		-- Piers Anthony
`,
	`Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
		-- Charlie McCarthy
`,
	`<KnaraKat> Bite me.
* TheOne gets some salt, then proceeds to nibble on KnaraKat a little
         bit....
`,
	`Never try to outstubborn a cat.
		-- Lazarus Long,  Time Enough for Love 
`,
	`A man in love is incomplete until he is married.  Then he is finished.
		-- Zsa Zsa Gabor,  Newsweek 
`,
	`QOTD:
	Y know how s m people treat th r body like a TEMPLE?
	Well, I treat mine like  n AMUSEMENT PARK...  S great...
`,
	`When someone says  I want a programming language in which I need only
say what I wish done,  give him a lollipop.
`,
	`	 That unit is a woman. 
	 A mass of conflicting impulses. 
		-- Spock and Nomad,  The Changeling , stardate 3541.9
`,
	`IT MAKES ME MAD when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about
a hundred drumsticks, then the guy at Marineland says,  You can t throw
that chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish. 

Sure they eat fish if that s all you give them!  Man, wise up.
		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
`,
	`You know, the difference between this company and the Titanic is that the
Titanic had paying customers.
`,
	`Magary s Principle:
	When there is a public outcry to cut deadwood and fat from any
	government bureaucracy, it is the deadwood and the fat that do
	the cutting, and the public s services are cut.
`,
	`If you wish women to love you, be original; I know a man who wore fur
boots summer and winter, and women fell in love with him.
		-- Anton Chekhov
`,
	`Trying to get an education here is like trying to get a drink from a fire hose.
`,
	`	 It s today!  said Piglet.
	 My favorite day,  said Pooh.
`,
	`	 A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
			  by Mark Twain

	For example, in Year 1 that useless letter  c  would be dropped
to be replased either by  k  or  s , and likewise  x  would no longer
be part of the alphabet.  The only kase in which  c  would be retained
would be the  ch  formation, which will be dealt with later.  Year 2
might reform  w  spelling, so that  which  and  one  would take the
same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish  y  replasing it with
 i  and Iear 4 might fiks the  g/j  anomali wonse and for all.
	Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear
with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez  c ,  y  and  x  -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz
ov ould doderez -- tu riplais  ch ,  sh , and  th  rispektivli.
	Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
`,
	`linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste
(ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in  93)
`,
	`Too often people have come to me and said,  If I had just one wish for
anything in all the world, I would wish for more user-defined equations
in the HP-51820A Waveform Generator Software. 
		-- Instrument News
		[Once is too often.  Ed.]
`,
	`Life exists for no known purpose.
`,
	`<donnerjack> Nothing says  I enjoy living with you  like the gift of
             3rd degree burns...
<Mephron> except, of course, turning his bed into a trebuchet.
<Ladegard> That much effort must mean some sort of affection.
`,
	`falsie salesman, n:
	Fuller bust man.
`,
	`:       I ve tried (in vi)  g/[a-z]\n[a-z]/s//_/ ...but that doesn t
: cut it.  Any ideas?  (I take it that it may be a two-pass sort of solution).
In the first pass, install perl. :-)
		-- Larry Wall <6849@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`I gave my love an Apple, that had no core;
I gave my love a building, that had no floor;
I wrote my love a program, that had no end;
I gave my love an upgrade, with no cryin .

How can there be an Apple, that has no core?
How can there be a building, that has no floor?
How can there be a program, that has no end?
How can there be an upgrade, with no cryin ?

An Apple s MOS memory don t use no core!
A building that s perfect, it has no flaw!
A program with GOTOs, it has no end!
I lied about the upgrade, with no cryin !
`,
	`A gangster assembled an engineer, a chemist, and a physicist.  He explained
that he was entering a horse in a race the following week and the three
assembled guys had the job of assuring that the gangster s horse would win.
They were to reconvene the day before the race to tell the gangster how they
each propose to ensure a win.  When they reconvened the gangster started with
the engineer:
	
Gangster: OK, Mr. engineer, what have you got?
Engineer: Well, I ve invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle
	  blanket so that they will act as the plates of a battery and provide
	  electrical shock to the horse.
G:	  That s very good!  But let s hear from the chemist.
Chemist:  I ve synthesized a powerful stimulant that disolves
	  into simple blood sugars after ten minutes and therefore
	  cannot be detected in post-race tests.
G:	  Excellent, excellent!  But I want to hear from the physicist before
	  I decide what to do.  Physicist?
Physicist: Well, first consider a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion...
`,
	`No committee could ever come up with anything as revolutionary as a camel --
anything as practical and as perfectly designed to perform effectively under
such difficult conditions.
		-- Laurence J. Peter
`,
	`Do people like check the Debian website every 5 minutes to check it hasn t
morphed into another one? Not that I m one to talk, but some people seriously
need to get a life.
		-- james on #Debian
`,
	`As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC on Personality.
One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly
useful and interesting, I just had to share it.

Answer each of the following items  true  or  false 

 1. I salivate at the sight of mittens.
 2. If I go into the street, I m apt to be bitten by a horse.
 3. Some people never look at me.
 4. Spinach makes me feel alone.
 5. My sex life is A-okay.
 6. When I look down from a high spot, I want to spit.
 7. I like to kill mosquitoes.
 8. Cousins are not to be trusted.
 9. It makes me embarrassed to fall down.
10. I get nauseous from too much roller skating.
11. I think most people would cry to gain a point.
12. I cannot read or write.
13. I am bored by thoughts of death.
14. I become homicidal when people try to reason with me.
15. I would enjoy the work of a chicken flicker.
16. I am never startled by a fish.
17. My mother s uncle was a good man.
18. I don t like it when somebody is rotten.
19. People who break the law are wise guys.
20. I have never gone to pieces over the weekend.
`,
	`What I tell you three times is true.
		-- Lewis Carroll
`,
	`If he should ever change his faith, it ll be because he no longer thinks
he s God.
`,
	`Contains no artificial colors or ingredients.
`,
	`We should have a Vollyballocracy.  We elect a six-pack of presidents.
Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.
		-- Dennis Miller
`,
	`When Dexter s on the Internet, can Hell be far behind? 
`,
	`<StevenK> You re rewriting parts of Quake in *Python*?
<knghtbrd> MUAHAHAHA
`,
	`America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one
dollar, and use it up in two weeks.
`,
	` Most people would like to be delivered from
 temptation but would like it to keep in touch. 
		-- Robert Orben
`,
	`Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
`,
	`Mental Ground Zero:
	The location where one visualizes oneself during the dropping
of the atomic bomb; frequently, a shopping mall.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`A Fortran compiler is the hobgoblin of little minis.
`,
	`A billion here, a billion there -- pretty soon it adds up to real money.
		-- Sen. Everett Dirksen, on the U.S. defense budget
`,
	`do {
    :
} while (!HELL_FROZEN_OVER);
`,
	`A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
`,
	`I always turn to the sports pages first, which record people s accomplishments.
The front page has nothing but man s failures.
		-- Chief Justice Earl Warren
`,
	`rain falls where clouds come
sun shines where clouds go
clouds just come and go
		-- Florian Gutzwiller
`,
	`      ...and before I knew what I was doing, I had kicked the
      typewriter and threw it around the room and made it beg for
      mercy.  At this point the typewriter pleaded for me to dress
      him in feminine attire but instead I pressed his margin release
      over and over again until the typewriter lost consciousness.
      Presently, I regained consciousness and realized with shame what
      I had done.  My shame is gone and now I am looking for a
      submissive typewriter, any color, or model.  No electric
      typewriters please!
		-- Rick Kleiner
`,
	`Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
	We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
	Clean-favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
	And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
	 Good morning,  and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich -- yes, richer than a king --
	And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
	To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
	And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
	Went home and put a bullet through his head.
		-- E. A. Robinson,  Richard Cory 
`,
	`The world needs more people like us and fewer like them.
`,
	`In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled waffles.
`,
	`There s something different about us -- different from people of Europe,
Africa, Asia ... a deep and abiding belief in the Easter Bunny.
		-- G. Gordon Liddy
`,
	`Time is fluid ... like a river with currents, eddies, backwash.
		-- Spock,  The City on the Edge of Forever , stardate 3134.0
`,
	`You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own.
`,
	` Twas bullig, and the slithy brokers
Did buy and gamble in the craze		 Beware the Jabberstock, my son!
All rosy were the Dow Jones stokers	The cost that bites, the worth
By market s wrath unphased.			that falls!
					Beware the Econ mist s word, and shun
He took his forecast sword in hand:	The spurious Street o  Walls! 
Long time the Boesk some foe he sought -
Sake s liquidity, so d vested he,	And as in bearish thought he stood
And stood awhile in thought.		The Jabberstock, with clothes of tweed,
					Came waffling with the truth too good,
Chip Black! Chip Blue! And through	And yuppied great with greed!
	and through
The forecast blade went snicker-snack!	 And hast thou slain the Jabberstock?
It bit the dirt, and with its shirt,	Come to my firm,  V.P.ish  boy!
He went rebounding back.		O big bucks day! Moolah! Good Play! 
					He bought him a Mercedes Toy.
 Twas panic, and the slithy brokers
Did gyre and tumble in the Crash
All flimsy were the Dow Jones stokers
And mammon s wrath them bash!
		-- Peter Stucki,  Jabberstocky 
`,
	` May your future be limited only by your dreams. 
		-- Christa McAuliffe
`,
	`COBOL:
	An exercise in Artificial Inelegance.
`,
	`In a five year period we can get one superb programming language.  Only
we can t control when the five year period will begin.
`,
	`People

The sage does not distinguish between himself and the world;
The needs of other people are as his own.
He is good to those who are good;
He is also good to those who are not good,
Thereby he is good.
He trusts those who are trustworthy;
He also trusts those who are not trustworthy,
Thereby he is trustworthy.
The sage lives in harmony with the world,
And his mind is the world s mind.
So he nurtures the worlds of others
As a mother does her children.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.
`,
	` Humor is a drug which it s the fashion to abuse. 
		-- William Gilbert
`,
	`The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it s further away.
`,
	` Life is too important to take seriously. 
		-- Corky Siegel
`,
	` Well, if you can t believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can*
you believe?! 
		-- Bullwinkle J. Moose [Jay Ward]
`,
	`Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human
intelligence long enough to get money from it.
`,
	`In the broad and final sense all institutions are educational in the
sense that they operate to form the attitudes, dispositions, abilities
and disabilities that constitute a concrete personality...Whether this
educative process is carried on in a predominantly democratic or non-
democratic way becomes, therefore, a question of transcendent importance
not only for education itself but for its final effect upon all the
interests and activities of a society that is committed to the democratic
way of life.
		-- John Dewey (1859-1953), American philosopher
`,
	`Good day to avoid cops.  Crawl to school.
`,
	`Why do they call it baby-SITTING when all you do is run after them?
`,
	`You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
`,
	` The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children
produce adults. 
		-- Peter De Vries
`,
	`Moore s Constant:
	Everybody sets out to do something, and everybody
	does something, but no one does what he sets out to do.
`,
	`Got a wife and kids in Baltimore Jack,
I went out for a ride and never came back.
Like a river that don t know where it s flowing,
I took a wrong turn and I just kept going.

	Everybody s got a hungry heart.
	Everybody s got a hungry heart.
	Lay down your money and you play your part,
	Everybody s got a hungry heart.

I met her in a Kingstown bar,
We fell in love, I knew it had to end.
We took what we had and we ripped it apart,
Now here I am down in Kingstown again.

Everybody needs a place to rest,
Everybody wants to have a home.
Don t make no difference what nobody says,
Ain t nobody likes to be alone.
		-- Bruce Springsteen,  Hungry Heart 
`,
	`One evening Mr. Rudolph Block, of New York, found himself seated at dinner
alongside Mr. Percival Pollard, the distinguished critic.
    Mr. Pollard,  said he,  my book, _The Biography of a Dead Cow_, is
 published anonymously, but you can hardly be ignorant of its authorship.
 Yet in reviewing it you speak of it as the work of the Idiot of the Century.
 Do you think that fair criticism? 
    I am very sorry, sir,  replied the critic, amiably,  but it did not
occur to me that you really might not wish the public to know who wrote it. 
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender.  You stand convicted of
sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.
		-- Tobias Smollet
`,
	`Computer programmers do it byte by byte.
`,
	`You look tired.
`,
	`> > But IANAL, of course.
>
> IANAL either.  My son is, but if I asked him I might get an answer I
> wouldn t want to hear.

 Here s my invoice.  ?  =D
`,
	`Are there those in the land of the brave
Who can tell me how I should behave
	When I am disgraced
	Because I erased
	A file I intended to save?
`,
	`Waving away a cloud of smoke, I look up, and am blinded by a bright, white
light.  It s God. No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God. In
a booming voice, He says:  THIS IS A SIGN. USE LINUX, THE FREE UNIX SYSTEM
FOR THE 386.
		-- Matt Welsh
`,
	` Are [Linux users] lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of
reliable, well-engineered commercial software? 
(By Matt Welsh)
`,
	`The chains of marriage are so heavy that it takes two to carry them, and
sometimes three.
		-- Alexandre Dumas
`,
	`I married beneath me.  All women do.
		-- Lady Nancy Astor
`,
	`One promising concept that I came up with right away was that you could
manufacture personal air bags, then get a law passed requiring that they be
installed on congressmen to keep them from taking trips.  Let s say your
congressman was trying to travel to Paris to do a fact-finding study on how
the French government handles diseases transmitted by sherbet.  Just when he
got to the plane, his mandatory air bag, strapped around his waist, would
inflate -- FWWAAAAAAPPPP -- thus rendering him too large to fit through the
plane door.  It could also be rigged to inflate whenever the congressman
proposed a law.  ( Mr. Speaker, people ask me, why should October be
designated as Cuticle Inspection Month?  And I answer that FWWAAAAAAPPPP. )
This would save millions of dollars, so I have no doubt that the public
would violently support a law requiring airbags on congressmen.  The problem
is that your potential market is very small: there are only around 500
members of Congress, and some of them, such as House Speaker  Tip  O Neil,
are already too large to fit on normal aircraft.
		-- Dave Barry,   Mister Mediocre  Restaurants 
`,
	`We ll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel
a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
		-- Dave Barry
`,
	`Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To fetch her poor daughter a dress.
When she got there, the cupboard was bare
And so was her daughter, I guess...
`,
	`A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine!
	[From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]
		-- Medieval prayer
`,
	` This is a job for BOB VIOLENCE and SCUM, the INCREDIBLY STUPID MUTANT DOG. 
		-- Bob Violence
`,
	`Promising costs nothing, it s the delivering that kills you.
`,
	`Mother told me to be good but she s been wrong before.
`,
	`This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms
industry is now in the American experience... We must not fail to
comprehend its grave implications... We must guard against the
acquisition of unwarranted influence...by the military-industrial
complex.  The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power
exists and will persist.
		-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, from his farewell address in 1961
`,
	`Frankly, Scarlett, I don t have a fix.
		-- Rhett Buggler
`,
	`It s not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you re off the ground.
		-- Daniel B. Luten
`,
	`You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing
forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.  You are
avenged fourteen hundred and forty times a day.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Q:	How many IBM CPU s does it take to do a logical right shift?
A:	33.  1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
`,
	`According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are
totally worthless.
`,
	`The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
`,
	`This is now.  Later is later.
`,
	`For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high-point of his entire life
to date.  He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days now.  He has
the sense of joyful independence a 5-year-old child gets when he suddenly
realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch in the coat closet
and neither parent [because of the flu] would have the strength to object.
He has been foraging for his own food, which means his diet consists
entirely of  food  substances which are advertised only on Saturday-morning
cartoon shows; substances that are the color of jukebox lights and that, for
legal reasons, have their names spelled wrong, as in New Creemy
Chok- n -Cheez Lumps o  Froot ( part of this complete breakfast ).
		-- Dave Barry,  Molecular Homicide 
`,
	`I can t seem to bring myself to say,  Well, I guess I ll be toddling along. 
It isn t that I can t toddle.  It s that I can t guess I ll toddle.
		-- Robert Benchley
`,
	`I wish a robot would get elected president.  That way, when he came to town,
we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
		-- Jack Handey
`,
	`Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends!
We re so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside!
There behind the glass there s a real blade of grass,
Be careful as you pass, move along, move along.
Come inside, the show s about to start,
Guaranteed to blow your head apart.
Rest assured, you ll get your money s worth,
Greatest show, in heaven, hell or earth!
You gotta see the show!  It s a dynamo!
You gotta see the show!  It s rock  n  roll!
		-- ELP,  Karn Evil 9  (1st Impression, Part 2)
`,
	` What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is
the exact opposite. 
		-- Bertrand Russell, _Sceptical_Essays_, 1928
`,
	`Safety Net-ism:
	The belief that there will always be a financial and emotional
safety net to buffer life s hurts.  Usually parents.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`Everybody but Sam had signed up for a new company pension plan that
called for a small employee contribution.  The company was paying all
the rest.  Unfortunately, 100% employee participation was needed;
otherwise the plan was off.  Sam s boss and his fellow workers pleaded
and cajoled, but to no avail.  Sam said the plan would never pay off.
Finally the company president called Sam into his office.
	 Sam,  he said,  here s a copy of the new pension plan and here s
a pen.  I want you to sign the papers.  I m sorry, but if you don t sign,
you re fired.  As of right now. 
	Sam signed the papers immediately.
	 Now,  said the president,  would you mind telling me why you
couldn t have signed earlier? 
	 Well, sir,  replied Sam,  nobody explained it to me quite so
clearly before. 
`,
	`This space intentionally left blank.
`,
	`For gin, in cruel
Sober truth,
Supplies the fuel
For flaming youth.
		-- Noel Coward
`,
	`A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
`,
	`So many men; so little time.
`,
	`Bizoos, n.:
	The millions of tiny individual bumps that make up a basketball.
		-- Rich Hall,  Sniglets 
`,
	` Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it. 
		-- Alex Schure
`,
	`One Bell System - it works.
`,
	`Benson s Dogma:
	ASCII is our god, and Unix is his profit.
`,
	`A blind rabbit was hopping through the woods, tripping over logs and crashing
into trees.  At the same time, a blind snake was slithering through the same
forest, with identical results.  They chanced to collide head-on in a clearing.
	 Please excuse me, sir, I m blind and I bumped into you accidentally, 
apologized the rabbit.
	 That s quite all right,  replied the snake,  I have the same
problem! 
	 All my life I ve been wondering what I am,  said the rabbit,  Do
you think you could help me find out? 
	 I ll try,  said the snake.  He gently coiled himself around the
rabbit.  Well, you re covered with soft fur, you have a little fluffy tail
and long ears.  You re... hmmm... you re probably a bunny rabbit! 
	 Great!  said the rabbit.   Thanks, I really owe you one! 
	 Well,  replied the snake,  I don t know what I am, either.  Do you
suppose you could try and tell me? 
	The rabbit ran his paws all over the snake.   Well, you re low, cold
and slimey...   And, as he ran one paw underneath the snake,  and you have
no balls.  You must be an attorney! 
`,
	`If you knew what to say next, would you say it?
`,
	`Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth but supreme beauty --
a beauty cold and austere, like that of a sculpture, without appeal to any
part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trapping of painting or music,
yet sublimely pure, and capable of a stern perfection such as only the
greatest art can show.  The true spirit of delight, the exaltation, the sense
of being more than man, which is the touchstone of the highest excellence, is
to be found in mathematics as surely as in poetry.
		-- Bertrand Russell
`,
	`New systems generate new problems.
`,
	`The truth you speak has no past and no future.  It is, and that s all it
needs to be.
`,
	`The fellow sat down at a bar, ordered a drink and asked the bartender if he
wanted to hear a dumb-jock joke.
	 Hey, buddy,  the bartender replied,  you see those two guys next to
you?  They used to be with the Chicago Bears.  The two dudes behind you made
the U.S. Olympic wrestling team.  And for your information, I used to play
center at Notre Dame. 
	 Forget it,  the customer said.   I don t want to explain it five
times. 
`,
	` Every morning, I get up and look through the  Forbes  list of the
richest people in America.  If I m not there, I go to work 
		-- Robert Orben
`,
	`No pig should go sky diving during monsoon
For this isn t really the norm.
But should a fat swine try to soar like a loon,
So what?  Any pork in a storm.

No pig should go sky diving during monsoon,
It s risky enough when the weather is fine.
But to have a pig soar when the monsoon doth roar
Cast even more perils before swine.
`,
	`A man in love is incomplete until he is married.  Then he is finished.
		-- Zsa Zsa Gabor,  Newsweek 
`,
	`Gay shlafen:  Yiddish for  go to sleep .

Now doesn t  gay shlafen  have a softer, more soothing sound than the
harsh, staccato  go to sleep ?  Listen to the difference:
	 Go to sleep, you little wretch!  ...  Gay shlafen, darling. 
Obvious, isn t it?
	Clearly the best thing you can do for you children is to start
speaking Yiddish right now and never speak another word of English as
long as you live.  This will, of course, entail teaching Yiddish to all
your friends, business associates, the people at the supermarket, and
so on, but that s just the point.  It has to start with committed
individuals and then grow....
	Some minor adjustments will have to be made, of course: those
signs written in what look like Yiddish letters won t be funny when
everything is written in Yiddish.  And we ll have to start driving on
the left side of the road so we won t be reading the street signs
backwards.  But is that too high a price to pay for world peace?
I think not, my friend, I think not.
		-- Arthur Naiman,  Every Goy s Guide to Yiddish 
`,
	`Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping
the top of the barrel.
		-- Gore Vidal
`,
	`An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but because
people refuse to see it.
		-- James Michener,  Space 
`,
	` I don t understand,  said the scientist,  why you lemmings all rush down
to the sea and drown yourselves. 

 How curious,  said the lemming.  The one thing I don t understand is why
you human beings don t. 
		-- James Thurber
`,
	`Acquaintance, n:
	A person whom we know well enough to borrow from but not well
	enough to lend to.  A degree of friendship called slight when the
	object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	` Don t come back until you have him , the Tick-Tock Man said quietly,
sincerely, extremely dangerously.

They used dogs.  They used probes.  They used cardio plate crossoffs.
They used teepers.  They used bribery.  They used stick tites.  They used
intimidation.  They used torment.  They used torture.  They used finks.
They used cops.  They used search and seizure.  They used fallaron.  They
used betterment incentives.  They used finger prints.  They used the
bertillion system.  They used cunning.  They used guile.  They used treachery.
They used Raoul-Mitgong but he wasn t much help.  They used applied physics.
They used techniques of criminology.  And what the hell, they caught him.
		-- Harlan Ellison,  Repent, Harlequin, said the Tick-Tock Man 
`,
	`Filmed before a live audience.
`,
	`The moving cursor writes, and having written, blinks on.
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日即事》[m
[33m作者:吕本中（１０８４－１１４５）[m
病起多情白日迟，强来庭下探花期。
雪消池馆初春后，人倚栏杆欲暮时。
乱蝶狂蜂俱有意，兔葵燕麦自无知。
池边垂柳腰支活，折尽长条为寄谁？
`,
	`No matter what happens, there is always someone who knew it would.
`,
	`You re either part of the solution or part of the problem.
		-- Eldridge Cleaver
`,
	`May your Tongue stick to the Roof of your Mouth with the Force of a
Thousand Caramels.
`,
	`Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff
on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it ;)
		-- Linus Torvalds, about his failing hard drive on linux.cs.helsinki.fi
`,
	`The sixth sheik s sixth sheep s sick.
	[so say said sentence sextuply...]
`,
	`Your present plans will be successful.
`,
	`I am myself plus my circumstance, and if I do not save it, I cannot
save myself.
		-- Jos e Ortega Y Gasset
`,
	`Grinnell s Law of Labor Laxity:
	At all times, for any task, you have not got enough done today.
`,
	` It s my cookie file and if I come up with something that s lame and I like it,
it goes in. 
		-- karl (Karl Lehenbauer)
`,
	` Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun. 
		-- Jeff Berner
`,
	`It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the
devil when he is the only explanation of it.
		-- Ronald Knox,  Let Dons Delight 
`,
	`I was the best I ever had.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`It is difficult to soar with the eagles when you work with turkeys.
`,
	`Yow!  Did something bad happen or am I in a drive-in movie??
`,
	`A bug in the hand is better than one as yet undetected.
`,
	`No problem is so large it can t be fit in somewhere.
`,
	` ...and scantily clad females, of course.  Who cares if it s below zero
outside 
(By Linus Torvalds)
`,
	`When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.
		-- Samuel Johnson
`,
	`heavy, adj.:
	Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
`,
	`Necessity has no law.
		-- St. Augustine
`,
	`One good turn asketh another.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`Three rules for sounding like an expert:
	(1) Oversimplify your explanations to the point of uselessness.
	(2) Always point out second-order effects, but never point out
	    when they can be ignored.
	(3) Come up with three rules of your own.
`,
	`I attribute my success to intelligence, guts, determination, honesty,
ambition, and having enough money to buy people with those qualities.
`,
	`Jones  Motto:
	Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
`,
	`The optimum committee has no members.
		-- Norman Augustine
`,
	`I don t do it for the money.
		-- Donald Trump, Art of the Deal
`,
	`To our sweethearts and wives.  May they never meet.
		-- 19th century toast
`,
	`	*** System shutdown message from root ***

System going down in 60 seconds


`,
	`If you go out of your mind, do it quietly, so as not to disturb those
around you.
`,
	`...  fire  does not matter,  earth  and  air  and  water  do not matter.
 I  do not matter.  No word matters.  But man forgets reality and remembers
words.  The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him.
He looks upon the great transformations of the world, but he does not see
them as they were seen when man looked upon reality for the first time.
Their names come to his lips and he smiles as he tastes them, thinking he
knows them in the naming.
		-- Roger Zelazny,  Lord of Light 
`,
	`Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up.  It knows it must run faster
than the fastest lion or it will be killed.  Every morning a lion wakes up.
It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.
It doesn t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle: when the sun comes
up, you d better be running.
`,
	`What the gods would destroy they first submit to an IEEE standards committee.
`,
	`			Chapter 1

The story so far:

	In the beginning the Universe was created.  This has made a lot
of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
		-- Douglas Adams, HHGG #2, (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe).
`,
	`Time goes, you say?
Ah no!
Time stays, *we* go.
		-- Austin Dobson
`,
	`I have a dog; I named him Stay.  So when I d go to call him, I d say,  Here,
Stay, here...  but he got wise to that.  Now when I call him he ignores me
and just keeps on typing.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`bozone, n.:
	The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
`,
	`Some optional equipment shown.
`,
	` In the fight between you and the world, back the world. 
		-- Frank Zappa
`,
	`The sprung doors parted and I staggered out into the lobby s teak and flicker.
Uniformed men stood by impassively like sentries in their trench.  I slapped
my key on the desk and nodded gravely.  I was loaded enough to be unable to
tell whether they could tell I was loaded.  Would they mind?  I was certainly
too loaded to care.  I moved to the door with boxy, schlep-shouldered strides.
		-- Martin Amis, _Money_
`,
	`<Knghtbrd> Yorick: no problem with indexed color palettes for images, as
           long as you can pick the palette
<Yorick> Obviously the people creating quake were colour-blind but that
         doesn t mean you have to be
`,
	`Mark s Dental-Chair Discovery:
	Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a
	simple yes or no answer.
`,
	`Mistrust first impulses; they are always right.
`,
	`Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
		-- Salvor Hardin
`,
	`They also serve who only stand and wait.
		-- John Milton
`,
	`Be careful!  UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!
`,
	`If at first you fricasee, fry, fry again.
`,
	`Do you like  TENDER VITTLES ?
`,
	`The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable
Christian forbearance among men.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`The future is a myth created by insurance salesmen and high school counselors.
`,
	`Limitless

The Way is a limitless vessel;
Used by the self, it is not filled by the world;
It cannot be cut, knotted, dimmed or stilled;
Its depths are hidden, ubiquitous and eternal;
I don t know where it comes from;
It comes before nature.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Obscurism:
	The practice of peppering daily life with obscure
references as a subliminal means of showcasing both one s education
and one s wish to disassociate from the world of mass culture.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`Many are cold, but few are frozen.
`,
	`   Emergency!   Sgiggs screamed, ejecting himself from the tub like it was
a burning car.   Dial  one !  Get room service!  Code red!   Stiggs was on
the phone immediately, ordering more rose blossoms, because, according to
him, the ones floating in the tub had suddenly lost their smell.   I demand
smell,  he shrilled.   I expecting total uninterrupted smell from these
f*cking roses. 

  Unfortunately, the service captain didn t realize that the Stiggs situation
involved fifty roses.   What am I going to do with this?  Stiggs sneered at
the weaseling hotel goon when he appeared at our door holding a single flower
floating in a brandy glass.  Stiggs s tirade was great.   Do you see this
bathtub?  Do you notice any difference between the size of the tub and the
size of that spindly wad of petals in your hand?  I need total bath coverage.
I need a completely solid layer of roses all around me like puffing factories
of smell, attacking me with their smell and power-ramming big stinking
concentrations of rose odor up my nostrils until I m wasted with pleasure. 
It wasn t long before we got so dissatisfied with this incompetence that we
bolted.
-- The Utterly Monstrous, Mind-Roasting Summer of O.C. and Stiggs,
   National Lampoon, October 1982
`,
	` It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. 
		-- Alfred Adler
`,
	`When nothing can possibly go wrong, it will.
`,
	`Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.
		-- Charles Schulz
`,
	`Better hope the life-inspector doesn t come around while you have your
life in such a mess.
`,
	`You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.
`,
	`If only you knew she loved you, you could face the uncertainty of
whether you love her.
`,
	`Love sometimes expresses itself in sacrifice.
		-- Kirk,  Metamorphosis , stardate 3220.3
`,
	`Style may not be the answer, but at least it s a workable alternative.
`,
	`Grinnell s Law of Labor Laxity:
	At all times, for any task, you have not got enough done today.
`,
	`Biggest security gap -- an open mouth.
`,
	`Totally illogical, there was no chance.
		-- Spock,  The Galileo Seven , stardate 2822.3
`,
	`He who loses, wins the race,
And parallel lines meet in space.
		-- John Boyd,  Last Starship from Earth 
`,
	`I think that s easier to read.  Pardon me.  Less difficult to read.
		-- Larry Wall in <199710120226.TAA06867@wall.org>
`,
	`What you see is from outside yourself, and may come, or not, but is beyond
your control.  But your fear is yours, and yours alone, like your voice, or
your fingers, or your memory, and therefore yours to control.  If you feel
powerless over your fear, you have not yet admitted that it is yours, to do
with as you will.
		-- Marion Zimmer Bradley,  Stormqueen 
`,
	`  Gentlemen, I want you to know that I am not always right, but I am
  never wrong. -Samuel Goldwyn
`,
	`To generalize is to be an idiot.
		-- William Blake
`,
	` The simple rights, the civil liberties from generations of struggle must not
be just fine words for patriotic holidays, words we subvert on weekdays, but
living, honored rules of conduct amongst us...I m glad the American Civil
Liberties Union gets indignant, and I hope this will always be so. 
		-- Senator Adlai E. Stevenson
`,
	`<Knghtbrd> you people are all insane.
<Joey> knight: sure, that s why we work on Debian.
<JHM> Knghtbrd: get in touch with your inner nutcase.
`,
	` I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show,
which would be called  A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark . 
		-- Dave Barry,  The Wonders of Sharks on TV 
`,
	`This generation doesn t have emotional baggage.  We have emotional moving vans.
		-- Bruce Feirstein
`,
	`I m meditating on the FORMALDEHYDE and the ASBESTOS leaking into my
PERSONAL SPACE!!
`,
	`Neil Armstrong tripped.
`,
	`X windows:
	You d better sit down.
	Don t laugh.  It could be YOUR thesis project.
	Why do it right when you can do it wrong?
	Live the nightmare.
	Our bugs run faster.
	When it absolutely, positively HAS to crash overnight.
	There ARE no rules.
	You ll wish we were kidding.
	Everything you never wanted in a window system.  And more.
	Dissatisfaction guaranteed.
	There s got to be a better way.
	The next best thing to keypunching.
	Leave the thrashing to us.
	We wrote the book on core dumps.
	Even your dog won t like it.
	More than enough rope.
	Garbage at your fingertips.

Incompatibility.  Shoddiness.  Uselessness.
	X windows.
`,
	`Chemicals, n.:
	Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
`,
	`Eight was also the Number of Bel-Shamharoth, which was why a sensible wizard
would never mention the number if he could avoid it.  Or you ll be eight
alive, apprentices were jocularly warned.  Bel-Shamharoth was especially
attracted to dabblers in magic who, by being as it were beachcombers on the
shores of the unnatural, were already half-enmeshed in his nets.
Rincewind s room number in his hall of residence had been 7a.  He hadn t
been surprised.
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Sending of Eight 
`,
	` Virtual  means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
`,
	`<Tali> be vewwy vewwy qwuiet .. I m huntin wuntime ewwos
`,
	`This  brain-damaged  epithet is getting sorely overworked.  When we can
speak of someone or something being flawed, impaired, marred, spoiled;
batty, bedlamite, bonkers, buggy, cracked, crazed, cuckoo, daft, demented,
deranged, loco, lunatic, mad, maniac, mindless, non compos mentis, nuts,
Reaganite, screwy, teched, unbalanced, unsound, witless, wrong;  senseless,
spastic, spasmodic, convulsive; doped, spaced-out, stoned, zonked;  {beef,
beetle,block,dung,thick}headed, dense, doltish, dull, duncical, numskulled,
pinhead;  asinine, fatuous, foolish, silly, simple;  brute, lumbering, oafish;
half-assed, incompetent; backward, retarded, imbecilic, moronic; when we have
a whole precisely nuanced vocabulary of intellectual abuse to draw upon,
individually and in combination, isn t it a little <fill in the blank> to be
limited to a single, now quite trite, adjective?
`,
	`The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher
esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
		-- Nietzsche
`,
	`XXI:
	It s easy to get a loan unless you need it.
XXII:
	If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock,
	not selling advice.
XXIII:
	Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is
	currently estimated.
XXIV:
	The only thing more costly than stretching the schedule of an
	established project is accelerating it, which is itself the most
	costly action known to man.
XXV:
	A revised schedule is to business what a new season is to an athlete
	or a new canvas to an artist.
		-- Norman Augustine
`,
	`> I ve hacked the Xaw3d library to give you a Win95 like interface and it
> is named Xaw95. You can replace your Xaw3d library.
Oh God, this is so disgusting!
		-- seen on c.o.l.development.apps, about the  Win95 look-alike 
`,
	`What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!
`,
	`You will be surprised by a loud noise.
`,
	`If a camel is a horse designed by a committee, then a consensus forecast is a
camel s behind.
		-- Edgar R. Fiedler
`,
	`I am practicing a fine point of ethics.  It is acceptable to shoot back.
It is not acceptable to shoot first.
		-- Zed Pobre
`,
	`A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance
of turning around three times before lying down.
		-- Robert Benchley
`,
	`<knghtbrd> Solver_: add users who should be messing with sound to group
           audio..  Make sure the devices are all group audio (ls -l
           /dev/dsp will give you the fastest indication if it s probably
	   set right) and build a kernel with sound support for your card
<knghtbrd> OR optionally install alsa source and build modules for that
           with make-kpkg
<knghtbrd> OR (not recommended) get and install evil OSS/Linux evil
           non-free evil binary only evil drivers---but those are evil.
	   And did I mention that it s not recommended?
`,
	`Simulated picture.
`,
	`Use the Force, Luke.
`,
	`There was, it appeared, a mysterious rite of initiation through which, in
one way or another, almost every member of the team passed.  The term that
the old hands used for this rite -- West invented the term, not the practice --
was  signing up.   By signing up for the project you agreed to do whatever
was necessary for success.  You agreed to forsake, if necessary, family,
hobbies, and friends -- if you had any of these left (and you might not, if
you had signed up too many times before).
		-- Tracy Kidder, _The Soul of a New Machine_
`,
	`If there is any better use for being famous and respected than using that
status to question orthodoxy, I haven t found it yet.
		-- Eric S. Raymond, in  We Don t Need the GPL Anymore 
`,
	`The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.
		-- David Gerrold
`,
	`Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
`,
	`What the scientists have in their briefcases is terrifying.
		-- Nikita Khruschev
`,
	`The Official MBA Handbook on the use of sunlamps:
	Use a sunlamp only on weekends.  That way, if the office wise guy
	remarks on the sudden appearance of your tan, you can fabricate
	some story about a sun-stroked weekend at some island Shangri-La
	like Caneel Bay.  Nothing is more transparent than leaving the
	office at 11:45 on a Tuesday night, only to return an Aztec sun
	god at 8:15 the next morning.
`,
	`There are two types of people in this world, good and bad.  The good
sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
		-- Derek Bok, president of Harvard
`,
	` If you ever want to get anywhere in politics, my boy, you re going to
have to get a toehold in the public eye. 
`,
	`The girl who swears no one has ever made love to her has a right to swear.
		-- Sophia Loren
`,
	`Moon, n.:
	1. A celestial object whose phase is very important to hackers.  See
	PHASE OF THE MOON.  2. Dave Moon (MOON@MC).
`,
	`Fortunate is he for whom the belle toils.
`,
	`Adapt.  Enjoy.  Survive.
`,
	`You don t have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.
		-- J. D. Salinger
`,
	`Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:

BBW	Branch Both Ways
BEW	Branch Either Way
BBBF	Branch on Bit Bucket Full
BH	Branch and Hang
BMR	Branch Multiple Registers
BOB	Branch On Bug
BPO	Branch on Power Off
BST	Backspace and Stretch Tape
CDS	Condense and Destroy System
CLBR	Clobber Register
CLBRI	Clobber Register Immediately
CM	Circulate Memory
CMFRM	Come From -- essential for truly structured programming
CPPR	Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
CRN	Convert to Roman Numerals
`,
	`Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
		-- attributed to both Fred Allen and Ernie Kovacs
`,
	`Lake Erie died for your sins.
`,
	`The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
`,
	`Death is only a state of mind.

Only it doesn t leave you much time to think about anything else.
`,
	`If you teach your children to like computers and to know how to gamble
then they ll always be interested in something and won t come to no real harm.
`,
	`THEGODDESSOFTHENETHASTWISTINGFINGERSANDHERVOICEISLIKEAJAVELININTHENIGHTDUDE
`,
	`What a COINCIDENCE!  I m an authorized  SNOOTS OF THE STARS  dealer!!
`,
	`last|perl -pe  $_ x=/(..:..)...(.*)/&&  $1  ge$1&&  $1  lt$2 
That s gonna be tough for Randal to beat...  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in  <1991Apr29.072206.5621@jpl-devvax.jpl.nasa.gov>
`,
	`War hath no fury like a non-combatant.
		-- Charles Edward Montague
`,
	`Some parts of the past must be preserved, and some of the future prevented
at all costs.
`,
	`When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
`,
	`An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but because
people refuse to see it.
		-- James Michener,  Space 
`,
	`Interchangeable parts won t.
`,
	`Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.
		-- Henry Adams
`,
	`The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes.
		-- George Gobel
`,
	`NANCY!!  Why is everything RED?!
`,
	`Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
`,
	`I m frequently appalled by the low regard you Earthmen have for life.
		-- Spock,  The Galileo Seven , stardate 2822.3
`,
	` All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands. 
		-- Saint Patrick
`,
	`Data, n.:
	An accrual of straws on the backs of theories.
`,
	`Sigmund s wife wore Freudian slips.
`,
	`Courtship to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
		-- William Congreve
`,
	`	A man pleaded innocent of any wrong doing when caught by the police
during a raid at the home of a mobster, excusing himself by claiming that he
was making a bolt for the door.
`,
	`:-) your own self.
		-- Larry Wall in <199709261754.KAA23761@wall.org>
`,
	`There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the
other is to read Pope.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`With all the fancy scientists in the world, why can t they just once
build a nuclear balm?
`,
	`A modest woman, dressed out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object
in the whole creation.
		-- Goldsmith
`,
	`If the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream
and never be our destiny.
		-- Ren e de Visme Williamson
`,
	`If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could
work for with a great deal of enjoyment.
		-- Douglas Jerrold
`,
	`<Espy> tomorrow there will be a great disturbance in the workforce
		-- May 18, 1999
`,
	`The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two
chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
		-- Carl Jung
`,
	`Some people have told me they don t think a fat penguin really embodies the
grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguin
charging at them in excess of 100mph.  They d be a lot more careful about what
they say if they had.
		-- Linus Torvalds, announcing Linux v2.0
`,
	`The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal.
The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may
experience it as such.  Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and
thinking: all the rest of the world is slow, gradual and stupid.  Whoever
could feel the course of a light ray would be very happy, for it is very
swift.  Thinking of oneself gives little happiness.  If, however, one feels
much happiness in this, it is because at bottom one is not thinking of
oneself but of one s ideal.  This is far, and only the swift shall reach
it and are delighted.
		-- Nietzsche
`,
	`Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
`,
	`Do what comes naturally.  Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.
`,
	` Confound these ancestors.... They ve stolen our best ideas! 
		-- Ben Jonson
`,
	`Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the Presidency.
		-- Richard Nixon
`,
	`Misery no longer loves company.  Nowadays it insists on it.
		-- Russell Baker
`,
	`You are as I am with You.
`,
	`To stay youthful, stay useful.
`,
	`Fortune s nomination for All-Time Champion and Protector of Youthful
Morals goes to Representative Clare E. Hoffman of Michigan.  During an
impassioned House debate over a proposed bill to  expand oyster and
clam research,  a sharp-eared informant transcribed the following
exchange between our hero and Rep. John D. Dingell, also of Michigan.

DINGELL: There are places in the world at the present time where we are
	 having to artificially propagate oysters and clams.
HOFFMAN: You mean the oysters I buy are not nature s oysters?
DINGELL: They may or may not be natural.  The simple fact of the matter
	 is that female oysters through their living habits cast out
	 large amounts of seed and the male oysters cast out large
	 amounts of fertilization ...
HOFFMAN: Wait a minute!  I do not want to go into that.  There are many
	 teenagers who read The Congressional Record.
`,
	`A woman can look both moral and exciting -- if she also looks as if it
were quite a struggle.
		-- Edna Ferber
`,
	`[From an announcement of a congress of the International Ontopsychology
Association, in Rome]:

The Ontopsychological school, availing itself of new research criteria and
of a new telematic epistemology, maintains that social modes do not spring
from dialectics of territory or of class, or of consumer goods, or of means
of power, but rather from dynamic latencies capillarized in millions of
individuals in system functions which, once they have reached the event
maturation, burst forth in catastrophic phenomenology engaging a suitable
stereotype protagonist or duty marionette (general, president, political
party, etc.) to consummate the act of social schizophrenia in mass genocide.
`,
	`A bunch of the boys were whooping it in the Malemute saloon;
The kid that handles the music box was hitting a jag-time tune;
Back of the bar, in a solo game, sat Dangerous Dan McGrew,
And watching his luck was his light-o -love, the lady that s known as Lou.
		-- Robert W. Service
`,
	`History, n.:
	Papa Hegel he say that all we learn from history is that we
	learn nothing from history.  I know people who can t even learn from
	what happened this morning.  Hegel must have been taking the long view.
		-- Chad C. Mulligan,  The Hipcrime Vocab 
`,
	`If you want to program in C, program in C.  It s a nice language.  I
use it occasionally...   :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <7577@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`.........    Escape the  Gates  of Hell
   :::                   .......  ......
   :::  *                   ::.    :: 
   ::: .::  .:.::.  .:: .::   ::. : 
   :::  ::   ::  ::  ::  ::    :::.
   ::: .::. .::  ::.   ::::. .:   ::.
...:::.....................::    .::::..
		-- William E. Roadcap
`,
	`I accept chaos.  I am not sure whether it accepts me.  I know some people
are terrified of the bomb.  But then some people are terrified to be seen
carrying a modern screen magazine.  Experience teaches us that silence
terrifies people the most.
		-- Bob Dylan
`,
	`Q: Why shouldn t I simply delete the stuff I never use, it s just taking up
   space?
A: This question is in the category of Famous Last Words..
		-- From the Frequently Unasked Questions
`,
	`A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single
man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
		-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
`,
	`Without love intelligence is dangerous;
without intelligence love is not enough.
		-- Ashley Montagu
`,
	`If life isn t what you wanted, have you asked for anything else?
`,
	`It is a wise father that knows his own child.
		-- William Shakespeare,  The Merchant of Venice 
`,
	`double-blind experiment, n:
	An experiment in which the chief researcher believes he is
	fooling both the subject and the lab assistant.  Often accompanied
	by a strong belief in the tooth fairy.
`,
	`Gerrold s Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
	(1) An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
	(2) An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
	(3) The energy required to change either one of these states
	   will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so
	   much as to make the task totally impossible.
`,
	`The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
`,
	`-  long    f_ffree;    /* free file nodes in fs */
+  long    f_ffree;    /* freie Dateiknoten im Dateisystem */
		-- Seen in a translation
`,
	`Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a
just man is also a prison.
		-- Henry David Thoreau
`,
	`I ve got a COUSIN who works in the GARMENT DISTRICT ...
`,
	`Changing husbands/wives is only changing troubles.
		-- Kathleen Norris
`,
	`You want it in one line?  Does it have to fit in 80 columns?   :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <7349@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	` You re just the sort of person I imagined marrying, when I was little...
except, y know, not green... and without all the patches of fungus. 
		-- Swamp Thing
`,
	`Another Armenia, Belgium ... the weak innocents who always seem to be
located on a natural invasion route.
		-- Kirk,  Errand of Mercy , stardate 3198.4
`,
	`You re too beautiful to ignore.  Too much woman.
		-- Kirk to Yeoman Rand,  The Enemy Within , stardate unknown
`,
	` For the love of phlegm...a stupid wall of death rays.  How tacky can ya get? 
		-- Post Brothers comics
`,
	`If God is One, what is bad?
		-- Charles Manson
`,
	`Execution

If people were not afraid of death,
Then what would be the use of an executioner?
If people were only afraid of death,
And you executed everyone who did not obey,
No one would dare to disobey you.
Then what would be the use of an executioner?
People fear death because death is an instrument of fate.
When people are killed by execution rather than by fate,
This is like carving wood in the place of a carpenter.
Those who carve wood in place of a carpenter
Often injure their hands.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Don t try to outweird me, three-eyes.  I get stranger things than you free
with my breakfast cereal.
		-- Zaphod Beeblebrox
`,
	`You know your apartment is small...
	when you can t know its position and velocity at the same time.
	you put your key in the lock and it breaks the window.
	you have to go outside to change your mind.
	you can vacuum the entire place using a single electrical outlet.
`,
	`politics, n.:
	A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
	The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving
from where you left them to where you can t find them.
`,
	`[32m《古从军行》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
白日登山望烽火，黄昏饮马傍交河。
行人刁斗风沙暗，公主琵琶幽怨多。
野营万里无城郭，雨雪纷纷连大漠。
胡雁哀鸣夜夜飞，胡儿眼泪双双落。
闻道玉门犹被遮，应将性命逐轻车。
年年战骨埋荒外，空见葡萄入汉家。
`,
	`Join the Navy; sail to far-off exotic lands, meet exciting interesting people,
and kill them.
`,
	`The black bear used to be one of the most commonly seen large animals
because in Yosemite and Sequoia national parks they lived off of garbage
and tourist handouts.  This bear has learned to open car doors in
Yosemite, where damage to automobiles caused by bears runs into the tens
of thousands of dollars a year.  Campaigns to bearproof all garbage
containers in wild areas have been difficult, because as one biologist
put it,  There is a considerable overlap between the intelligence levels
of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists. 
`,
	`Cheops  Law:
	Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
`,
	`[32m题目:《自嘲》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
少读诗书陋汉唐，莫年身世寄农桑。
骑驴两脚欲到地，爱酒一樽常在旁。
老去形容虽变改，醉来意气尚轩昂。
太行王屋何由动，堪笑愚公不自量。
`,
	`Never trust an automatic pistol or a D.A. s deal.
		-- John Dillinger
`,
	`YOW!!  Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!
`,
	`Safety Net-ism:
	The belief that there will always be a financial and emotional
safety net to buffer life s hurts.  Usually parents.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`Praise the sea; on shore remain.
		-- John Florio
`,
	`I can just see it now: nomination-terrorism ;-)
        -- Manoj

haha!  i nominate manoj.
		-- seeS
`,
	`Two percent of zero is almost nothing.
`,
	`There seems no plan because it is all plan.
		-- C. S. Lewis
`,
	`Touch tone phones only.
`,
	`The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands
what will sell.
		-- Confucius
`,
	`If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make
something out of you.
		-- Muhammad Ali
`,
	`Ben, why didn t you tell me?
		-- Luke Skywalker
`,
	`The 80 s -- when you can t tell hairstyles from chemotherapy.
`,
	` The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through
three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and
Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases.
 For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question  How can
we eat?  the second by the question  Why do we eat?  and the third by
the question  Where shall we have lunch?  
		-- Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy
`,
	`Visit beautiful Vergas, Minnesota.
`,
	`Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
		-- W. C. Fields
`,
	`Take a lesson from the whale; the only time he gets speared is when he
raises to spout.
`,
	`I DON T THINK I M ALONE when I say I d like to see more and more planets
fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
`,
	`Your boyfriend takes chocolate from strangers.
`,
	`Cure the disease and kill the patient.
		-- Francis Bacon
`,
	`She been married so many times she got rice marks all over her face.
		-- Tom Waits
`,
	`It s not whether you win or lose, it s how you place the blame.
`,
	`Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.
`,
	`Envy, n.:
	Wishing you d been born with an unfair advantage,
	instead of having to try and acquire one.
`,
	`May explode if improperly recharged.
`,
	`So many women; so little nerve.
`,
	`Without Action

Not praising the worthy prevents contention,
Not esteeming the valuable prevents theft,
Not displaying the beautiful prevents desire.
In this manner the sage governs people:
Emptying their minds,
Filling their bellies,
Weakening their ambitions,
And strengthening their bones.
If people lack knowledge and desire
Then they can not act;
If no action is taken
Harmony remains.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
`,
	`The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market
award for achievement.  It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal
gesture by the individual to himself.
		-- John Kenneth Galbraith,  Annals of an Abiding Liberal 
`,
	`What awful irony is this?
We are as gods, but know it not.
`,
	`Expedience is the best teacher.
`,
	`Poverty Jet Set:
	A group of people given to chronic traveling at the expense of
long-term job stability or a permanent residence.  Tend to have doomed
and extremely expensive phone-call relationships with people named
Serge or Ilyana.  Tend to discuss frequent-flyer programs at parties.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`Those who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty
Often have a share in their misfortunes.
		-- Bertolt Brecht,  The Caucasian Chalk Circle 
`,
	`Though I respect that a lot
I d be fired if that were my job
After killing Jason off and
Countless screaming argonauts

Bluebird of friendliness
Like guardian angels it s
Always near

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I m the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
		--  Birdhouse in your Soul , They Might Be Giants
`,
	`Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have
been, and never will be wrong.
		-- Walter Dwight
`,
	`Sed quis custodiet ipsos Custodes?
	[Who guards the Guardians?]
`,
	`Heisenberg may have slept here...
`,
	`If life is a stage, I want some better lighting.
`,
	`Pandora s Rule:
	Never open a box you didn t close.
`,
	`Everywhere you go you ll see them searching,
Everywhere you turn you ll feel the pain,
Everyone is looking for the answer,
Well look again.
		-- Moody Blues,  Lost in a Lost World 
`,
	`Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`Brain damage is all in your head.
		-- Karl Lehenbauer
`,
	`This fortune is encrypted -- get your decoder rings ready!
`,
	`Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`If man is only a little lower than the angels, the angels should reform.
		-- Mary Wilson Little
`,
	`Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard -- I m living for today!
`,
	` Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago. 
		-- Bernard Berenson
`,
	`It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
`,
	`On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only
nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter
what it does.
		-- Will Rogers
`,
	`Some people only open up to tell you that they re closed.
`,
	`Thank god!! ... It s HENNY YOUNGMAN!!
`,
	`Clovis  Consideration of an Atmospheric Anomaly:
	The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated
	than by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere,
	bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.
`,
	`History repeats itself.  That s one thing wrong with history.
`,
	`Dinosaurs aren t extinct.  They ve just learned to hide in the trees.
`,
	`Grand Master Turing once dreamed that he was a machine.  When he awoke
he exclaimed:
	 I don t know whether I am Turing dreaming that I am a machine,
	or a machine dreaming that I am Turing! 
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`When someone says  I want a programming language in which I need only
say what I wish done,  give him a lollipop.
`,
	`	*** A NEW KIND OF PROGRAMMING ***

Do you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical
terms that nobody understands?  Do you want to strike fear and loathing into
the hearts of DP managers everywhere?  If so, then let the Famous Programmers 
School lead you on... into the world of professional computer programming.
They say a good programmer can write 20 lines of effective program per day.
With our unique training course, we ll show you how to write 20 lines of code
and lots more besides.  Our training course covers every programming language
in existence, and some that aren t.  You ll learn why the on/off switch for a
computer is so important, what the words *fatal error* mean, and who and what
you should blame when you make a mistake.

	Yes, I want the brochure describing this incredible offer.
	I enclose $1000 is small unmarked bills to cover the cost of
	postage and handling. (No live poultry, please.)

*** Our Slogan:  Top down programming for the masses. ***
`,
	`Steinbach s Guideline for Systems Programming:
	Never test for an error condition you don t know how to handle.
`,
	`We ve sent a man to the moon, and that s 29,000 miles away.  The center
of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away.  You could drive that in a week,
but for some reason nobody s ever done it.
		-- Andy Rooney
`,
	`Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh
autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.
		-- P. J. O Rourke
`,
	`The polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish to be
addressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified.  But it is equally
important to accept and tolerate different standards of courtesy, not
expecting everyone else to adapt to one s own preferences.  Only then can
we hope to restore the insult to its proper social function of expressing
true distaste.
		-- Judith Martin,  Miss Manners  Guide to Excruciatingly
		   Correct Behavior 
`,
	`	A hard-luck actor who appeared in one coloossal disaster after another
finally got a break, a broken leg to be exact.  Someone pointed out that it s
the first time the poor fellow s been in the same cast for more than a week.
`,
	`Pause for storage relocation.
`,
	`I ll burn my books.
		-- Christopher Marlowe
`,
	` An Academic speculated whether a bather is beautiful
if there is none in the forest to admire her. He hid
in the bushes to find out, which vitiated his premise
but made him happy.
Moral: Empiricism is more fun than speculation. 
		-- Sam Weber
`,
	`There are more things in heaven and earth,
Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
		-- Wm. Shakespeare,  Hamlet 
`,
	`Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt
of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race.  He
brought death into the world.
		-- Mark Twain,  Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar 
`,
	`Never, ever lie to someone you love unless you re absolutely sure they ll
never find out the truth.
`,
	`Emotions are alien to me.  I m a scientist.
		-- Spock,  This Side of Paradise , stardate 3417.3
`,
	`Once again dread deed is done.
Canon sleeps,
his all-knowing eye shaded
to human chance and circumstance.
Peace reigns anew o er Pine Valley,
but Canon s sleep is troubled.

Beware, scant days past the Ides of July.
Impatient hands wait eagerly
to grasp, to hold
scant moments of time
wrested from life in the full
glory of Canon s power;
held captive by his unblinking eye.

Three golden orbs stand watch;
one each to toll the day, hour, minute
until predestiny decrees his reawakening.
When that feared moment arives,
 Ask not for whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee. 
		--  I extended the loan on your Camera, at the Pine
		   Valley Pawn Shop today 
`,
	`And I will do all these good works, and I will do them for free!
My only reward will be a tombstone that says  Here lies Gomez Addams --
he was good for nothing. 
		-- Jack Sharkey, The Addams Family
`,
	`Q:	What s buried in Grant s tomb?
A:	A corpse.
`,
	`Marriage is the waste-paper basket of the emotions.
`,
	`Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
		-- Laurie Anderson
`,
	`Choose in marriage only a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she
were a man.
		-- Joubert
`,
	` May your future be limited only by your dreams. 
		-- Christa McAuliffe
`,
	`Hiccuping & trembling into the WASTE DUMPS of New Jersey like some
drunken CABBAGE PATCH DOLL, coughing in line at FIORUCCI S!!
`,
	`Yow!  Are you the self-frying president?
`,
	`>>> Internal error in fortune program:
>>>	fnum=2987  n=45  flag=1  goose_level=-232323
>>> Please write down these values and notify fortune program administrator.
`,
	`Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever
depths they were once able to plumb.
		-- Stanley Kaufman
`,
	`The  A  is for content, the  minus  is for not typing it.  Don t ever do
this to my eyes again.
		-- Professor Ronald Brady, Philosophy, Ramapo State College
`,
	`rugged, adj.:
	Too heavy to lift.
`,
	`Life is like an egg stain on your chin -- you can lick it, but it still
won t go away.
`,
	`Is this going to involve RAW human ecstasy?
`,
	`You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
`,
	`Lawrence Radiation Laboratory keeps all its data in an old gray trunk.
`,
	`Dijkstra probably hates me.
		-- Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c
`,
	`Harrisberger s Fourth Law of the Lab:
	Experience is directly proportional to the
	amount of equipment ruined.
`,
	`If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings -- including this one.
`,
	`Limited delivery area.
`,
	`The Middle East is certainly the nexus of turmoil for a long time to come --
with shifting players, but the same game: upheaval.  I think we will be
confronting militant Islam -- particularly fallout from the Iranian
revolution -- and religion will once more, as it has in our own more
distant past -- play a role at least as standard-bearer in death and mayhem.
- Bobby R. Inman, Admiral, USN, Retired, former director of Naval Intelligence,
  vice director of the DIA, former director of the NSA, deputy director of
  Central Intelligence, former chairman and CEO of MCC.
`,
	`I owe, I owe,
It s off to work I go...
`,
	`[32m《兵车行》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
车辚辚，马萧萧，行人弓箭各在腰，
爷娘妻子走相送，尘埃不见咸阳桥。
牵衣顿足拦道哭，哭声直上干云霄。
道旁过者问行人，行人但云点行频。
或从十五北防河，便至四十西营田。
去时里正与裹头，归来头白还戍边。
边亭流血成海水，武皇开边意未已。
君不闻，汉家山东二百州，千村万落生荆杞。
纵有健妇把锄犁，禾生陇亩无东西。
况复秦兵耐苦战，被驱不异犬与鸡。
长者虽有问，役夫敢申恨？
且如今年冬，未休关西卒。
县官急索租，租税从何出。
信知生男恶，反是生女好。
生女犹得嫁比邻，生男埋没随百草。
君不见，青海头，古来白骨无人收。
新鬼烦冤旧鬼哭，天阴雨湿声啾啾。
`,
	`What they said:
	What they meant:

 I recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever. 
	(Yes, that about sums it up.)
 The amount of mathematics she knows will surprise you. 
	(And I recommend not giving that school a dime...)
 I simply can t say enough good things about him. 
	(What a screw-up.)
 I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine. 
	(I can t tell you how happy I am that she left our firm.)
 When this person left our employ, we were quite hopeful he would go
a long way with his skills. 
	(We hoped he d go as far as possible.)
 You won t find many people like her. 
	(In fact, most people can t stand being around her.)
 I cannot recommend him too highly. 
	(However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
	 felony in my presence.)
`,
	`The best defense against logic is ignorance.
`,
	`  The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying.
		-- Samuel Goldwyn
`,
	`Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it,
for he shall enjoy living.
		-- W. C. Bennett
`,
	`The Beatles:
	Paul McCartney s old back-up band.
`,
	`If you had just a minute to breathe,
And they granted you one final wish,
Would you ask for something
Like another chance?
		-- Traffic,  The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys 
`,
	`THIS IS PLEDGE WEEK FOR THE FORTUNE PROGRAM

If you like the fortune program, why not support it now with your
contribution of a pithy fortunes, clean or obscene?  We cannot continue
without your support.  Less than 14% of all fortune users are contributors.
That means that 86% of you are getting a free ride.  We can t go on like
this much longer.  Federal cutbacks mean less money for fortunes, and unless
user contributions increase to make up the difference, the fortune program
will have to shut down between midnight and 8 a.m.  Don t let this happen.
Mail your fortunes right now to  fortune .  Just type in your favorite pithy
saying.  Do it now before you forget.  Our target is 300 new fortunes by the
end of the week. Don t miss out.  All fortunes will be acknowledged.  If you
contribute 30 fortunes or more, you will receive a free subscription to  The
Fortune Hunter , our monthly program guide.  If you contribute 50 or more,
you will receive a free  Fortune Hunter  coffee mug ....
`,
	`When in doubt, use brute force.
		-- Ken Thompson
`,
	`Eggnog is a traditional holiday drink invented by the English.  Many
people wonder where the word  eggnog  comes from.  The first syllable
comes from the English word  egg , meaning  egg .  I don t know where
the  nog  comes from.

To make eggnog, you ll need rum, whiskey, wine gin and, if they are in
season, eggs...
`,
	`You can t mend a wristwatch while falling from an airplane.
`,
	`A dwarf is passing out somewhere in Detroit!
`,
	`Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by
no means the only  certain  standard.  If you mistake what is relative for
something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.
		-- Chuang Tzu
`,
	`My nose feels like a bad Ronald Reagan movie ...
`,
	`There was a phone call for you.
`,
	`The Thought Police are here.  They ve come
To put you under cardiac arrest.
And as they drag you through the door
They tell you that you ve failed the test.
		-- Buggles,  Living in the Plastic Age 
`,
	`The solution of problems is the most characteristic and peculiar sort
of voluntary thinking.
		-- William James
`,
	`G. B. Shaw to William Douglas Home:  Go on writing plays, my boy.  One
of these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his
secretary,  Is there a play from Shaw this morning?  and when she says
 No,  he will say,  Well, then we ll have to start on the rubbish.  And
that s your chance, my boy. 
`,
	`With all the fancy scientists in the world, why can t they just once
build a nuclear balm?
`,
	`Thus spake the master programmer:
	 Time for you to leave. 
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`<Myth> I m getting a connection refused when connecting to port 25, anyone
       know where the damn log is?
<aj> Myth: /var/log/damn.log?
* aj wonders what that d look like
<aj> Dec 18 05:32:30 blae smtpd[123]: DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!
`,
	`Dieters live life in the fasting lane.
`,
	`Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining
ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror
to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the
mid-fork of the Feather River before the completion of the Oroville Dam
in 1959.
		-- Grand Panjandrum s Special Award, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton
		   bad fiction contest.
`,
	`It is now 10 p.m.  Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?
		-- Elizabeth Carpenter
`,
	`... and furthermore ... I don t like your trousers.
`,
	`I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to
the south.  We could never understand why Mexico wasn t just crazy about
us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.
		-- The Best of Will Rogers
`,
	`New York now leads the world s great cities in the number of people around
whom you shouldn t make a sudden move.
		-- David Letterman
`,
	`Boy, am I glad it s only 1971...
`,
	`Who are the artists in the Computer Graphics Show?  Wavefront s latest box, or
the people who programmed it?  Should Mandelbrot get all the credit for the
output of programs like MandelVroom?
		-- Peter da Silva
`,
	`You know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies echo.
		-- S. Rickly Christian
`,
	`A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	`A person forgives only when they are in the wrong.
`,
	`A lot of people are afraid of heights.  Not me.  I m afraid of widths.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`* joeyh wonders why everyone wants to know how tall he is
<james> joeyh: it helps the sniper
`,
	` The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make
empty prophecies.  The danger already exists that mathematicians have made
a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the
bonds of Hell. 
		-- Saint Augustine
`,
	`I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was all
saloonkeepers were Democrats.
`,
	`QOTD:
	 Like this rose, our love will wilt and die. 
`,
	`Put a pot of chili on the stove to simmer.  Let it simmer.  Meanwhile,
broil a good steak.  Eat the steak.  Let the chili simmer.  Ignore it.
		-- Recipe for chili from Allan Shrivers, former governor
		   of Texas.
`,
	`Kath: Can he be present at the birth of his child?
Ed: It s all any reasonable child can expect if the dad is present
	at the conception.
		-- Joe Orton,  Entertaining Mr. Sloane 
`,
	`  I tripped over a hole that was sticking up out of the ground.
`,
	`<dark> Turns out that grep returns error code 1 when there are no matches.
       I KNEW that.  Why did it take me half an hour?
		-- Seen on #Debian
`,
	`And do you think (fop that I am) that I could be the Scarlet Pumpernickel?
`,
	`I *____knew* I had some reason for not logging you off... If I could just
remember what it was.
`,
	`Gil-galad was an Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.

His sword was long, his lance was keen,
his shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven s field
were mirrored in his silver shield.

But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the shadows are.
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`Oh Lord, won t you buy me a 4BSD?
My friends all got sources, so why can t I see?
Come all you moby hackers, come sing it out with me:
To hell with the lawyers from AT&T!
`,
	`What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no
longer believe you.
		-- Nietzsche
`,
	`Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
if you re alive, it isn t.
`,
	`Love means having to say you re sorry every five minutes.
`,
	` I think the sky is blue because it s a shift from black through purple
to blue, and it has to do with where the light is.  You know, the
farther we get into darkness, and there s a shifting of color of light
into the blueness, and I think as you go farther and farther away from
the reflected light we have from the sun or the light that s bouncing
off this earth, uh, the darker it gets ... I think if you look at the
color scale, you start at black, move it through purple, move it on
out, it s the shifting of color.  We mentioned before about the stars
singing, and that s one of the effects of the shifting of colors. 
		-- Pat Robertson, The 700 Club
`,
	`Normally our rules are rigid; we tend to discretion, if for no other reason
than self-protection.  We never recommend any of our graduates, although we
cheerfully provide information as to those who have failed their courses.
		-- Jack Vance,  Freitzke s Turn 
`,
	`The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid,
stable business.
		-- John Steinbeck
	[Horse racing *is* a stable business ...]
`,
	`What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to
win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent?
In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded
that it takes a coincidence of four conditions, or in Neil s view, the
simultaneous peaking of four of the many cycles of American life.  First, a
base of technology must exist from which to do the thing to be done.  Second,
a period of national uneasiness about America s place in the scheme of human
activities must exist.  Third, some catalytic event must occur that focuses
the national attention upon the direction to proceed.  Finally, an articulate
and wise leader must sense these first three conditions and put forth with
words and action the great thing to be accomplished.  The motivation of young
Americans to do what needs to be done flows from such a coincidence of
conditions. ...  The Thomas Jeffersons, The Teddy Roosevelts, The John
Kennedys appear.  We must begin to create the tools of leadership which they,
and their young frontiersmen, will require to lead us onward and upward.
		-- Dr. Harrison H. Schmidt
`,
	`It s OKAY -- I m an INTELLECTUAL, too.
`,
	`Largest Number of Driving Test Failures
	By April 1970 Mrs. Miriam Hargrave had failed her test thirty-nine
times.  In the eight preceding years she had received two hundred and
twelve driving lessons at a cost of L300.  She set the new record while
driving triumphantly through a set of red traffic lights in Wakefield,
Yorkshire.  Disappointingly, she passed at the fortieth attempt (3 August
1970) but eight years later she showed some of her old magic when she was
reported as saying that she still didn t like doing right-hand turns.
		-- Stephen Pile,  The Book of Heroic Failures 
`,
	`Just about every computer on the market today runs Unix, except the Mac
(and nobody cares about it).
		-- Bill Joy 6/21/85
`,
	`Nipples, dimples, knuckles, NICKLES, wrinkles, pimples!!
`,
	`Men still remember the first kiss after women have forgotten the last.
`,
	`Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.
		-- William Shakespeare,  As You Like It 
`,
	`Lady Luck brings added income today.  Lady friend takes it away tonight.
`,
	`Madness takes its toll.
`,
	`Dead?	No excuse for laying off work.
`,
	`Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won t see his face.
`,
	`The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them
is a match.
		-- Will Rogers
`,
	`[32m《无题・其二》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
飒飒东风细雨来，芙蓉塘外有轻雷。
金蟾啮锁烧香入，玉虎牵丝汲井回。
贾氏窥帘韩掾少，宓妃留枕魏王才。
春心莫共花争发，一寸相思一寸灰。
`,
	`Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing
tricks on me and treating me badly.
		-- Jorge Luis Borges, from  Writers on Writing  by Jon Winokur
`,
	`Law of the Jungle:
	He who hesitates is lunch.
`,
	`It is often the case that the man who can t tell a lie thinks he is the best
judge of one.
		-- Mark Twain,  Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar 
`,
	`Envy, n.:
	Wishing you d been born with an unfair advantage,
	instead of having to try and acquire one.
`,
	`Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
`,
	`The Hollywood tradition I like best is called  sucking up to the stars. 
		-- Johnny Carson
`,
	`Arthur s Laws of Love:
	(1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you
	    remind them of someone else.
	(2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be
	    delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of
	    yourself in person.
`,
	`THEGODDESSOFTHENETHASTWISTINGFINGERSANDHERVOICEISLIKEAJAVELININTHENIGHTDUDE
`,
	`Captain Penny s Law:
	You can fool all of the people some of the
	time, and some of the people all of the
	time, but you can t fool mom.
`,
	`Staff meeting in the conference room in %d minutes.
`,
	`Understanding is always the understanding of a smaller problem
in relation to a bigger problem.
		-- P. D. Ouspensky
`,
	` You can t have filenames longer than 14 chars.
You can t even think about them! 
		-- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
`,
	`Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.
		-- Michel de Montaigne
`,
	`No matter who you are, some scholar can show you the great idea you had
was had by someone before you.
`,
	`Linux: Because a PC is a terrible thing to waste.
(By komarimf@craft.camp.clarkson.edu, Mark Komarinski)
`,
	`Process promptly.
`,
	`  Of course I can keep secrets. It s the people I tell them to that
  can t keep them. -Anthony Haden-Guest
`,
	`My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
		-- Groucho Marx
`,
	`momentum, n.:
	What you give a person when they are going away.
`,
	`Work without a vision is slavery, Vision without work is a pipe dream,
But vision with work is the hope of the world.
`,
	`Also another major deciding factor is availability of source code.
It just gives everybody a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that there is
source code available to the product you are using.  It allows everybody
to improve on the product and fix bugs etc. sooner that the author(s)
would get the time/chance to.
		-- Atif Khan
`,
	`Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn t work out.
`,
	`If you haven t enjoyed the material in the last few lectures then a career
in chartered accountancy beckons.
		-- Advice from the lecturer in the middle of the Stochastic
		   Systems course.
`,
	` When in doubt, print  em out. 
		-- Karl s Programming Proverb 0x7
`,
	`A pickup with three guys in it pulls into the lumber yard.  One of the men
gets out and goes into the office.
	 I need some four-by-two s,  he says.
	 You must mean two-by-four s  replies the clerk.
	The man scratches his head.   Wait a minute,  he says,  I ll go
check. 
	Back, after an animated conversation with the other occupants of the
truck, he reassures the clerk, that, yes, in fact, two-by-fours would be
acceptable.
	 OK,  says the clerk, writing it down,  how long you want  em? 
	The guy gets the blank look again.   Uh... I guess I better go
check,  he says.
	He goes back out to the truck, and there s another animated
conversation.  The guy comes back into the office.   A long time,  he says,
 we re building a house .
`,
	`Flexibility

A newborn is soft and tender,
A crone, hard and stiff.
Plants and animals, in life, are supple and succulent;
In death, withered and dry.
So softness and tenderness are attributes of life,
And hardness and stiffness, attributes of death.
Just as a sapless tree will split and decay
So an inflexible force will meet defeat;
The hard and mighty lie beneath the ground
While the tender and weak dance on the breeze above.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`It has been said that Public Relations is the art of winning friends
and getting people under the influence.
		-- Jeremy Tunstall
`,
	`Ambush

There is a saying among soldiers:
It is easier to lose a yard than take an inch.
In this manner one may deploy troops without marshalling them,
Bring weapons to bear without exposing them,
Engage the foe without invading them,
And exhaust their strength without fighting them.
There is no worse disaster than misunderstanding your enemy;
To do so endangers all of my treasures;
So when two well matched forces oppose eachother,
The general who maintains compassion will win.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Idiot, n.:
	A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human
	affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`Because the demand for it is low enough that it would be best handled
as an XSUB, and the demand for it is low enough that nobody has
bothered to write it as an XSUB.
		-- Larry Wall on in-place Perl sorting
`,
	`What is the difference between a Turing machine and the modern computer?
It s the same as that between Hillary s ascent of Everest and the
establishment of a Hilton on its peak.
`,
	`It s not whether you win or lose but how you played the game.
		-- Grantland Rice
`,
	`Seeing is deceiving.  It s eating that s believing.
		-- James Thurber
`,
	`It just doesn t seem right to go over the river and through the woods
to Grandmother s condo.
`,
	`Everyone complains of his memory, no one of his judgement.
`,
	`You will lose an important disk file.
`,
	`What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.
		-- Raymond Aron,  The Opium of the Intellectuals 
`,
	`It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
`,
	`Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself -- and then a couple
of more feet, just to be sure.
		-- Eric Allman

... We make rope.
		-- Rob Gingell on Sun Microsystem s new virtual memory.
`,
	`You will live to see your grandchildren.
`,
	`Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
`,
	`The magician is seated in his high chair and looks upon the world with favor.
He is at the height of his powers.  If he closes his eyes, he causes the world
to disappear.  If he opens his eyes, he causes the world to come back.  If
there is harmony within him, the world is harmonious.  If rage shatters his
inner harmony, the unity of the world is shattered.  If desire arises within
him, he utters the magic syllables that causes the desired object to appear.
His wishes, his thoughts, his gestures, his noises command the universe.
		-- Selma Fraiberg, _The Magic Years_, pg. 107
`,
	`	One of the questions that comes up all the time is: How enthusiastic
is our support for UNIX?
	Unix was written on our machines and for our machines many years ago.
Today, much of UNIX being done is done on our machines. Ten percent of our
VAXs are going for UNIX use.  UNIX is a simple language, easy to understand,
easy to get started with. It s great for students, great for somewhat casual
users, and it s great for interchanging programs between different machines.
And so, because of its popularity in these markets, we support it.  We have
good UNIX on VAX and good UNIX on PDP-11s.
	It is our belief, however, that serious professional users will run
out of things they can do with UNIX. They ll want a real system and will end
up doing VMS when they get to be serious about programming.
	With UNIX, if you re looking for something, you can easily and quickly
check that small manual and find out that it s not there.  With VMS, no matter
what you look for -- it s literally a five-foot shelf of documentation -- if
you look long enough it s there.  That s the difference -- the beauty of UNIX
is it s simple; and the beauty of VMS is that it s all there.
		-- Ken Olsen, president of DEC, DECWORLD Vol. 8 No. 5, 1984
[It s been argued that the beauty of UNIX is the same as the beauty of Ken
Olsen s brain.  Ed.]
`,
	`<xtifr> direct brain implants :)
<knghtbrd> xtifr - yah, then using computers would actually require some
           of these idiots to think!
<knghtbrd> ;>
`,
	` You are old, Father William,  the young man said,
	 All your papers these days look the same;
Those William s would be better unread --
	Do these facts never fill you with shame? 

 In my youth,  Father William replied to his son,
	 I wrote wonderful papers galore;
But the great reputation I found that I d won,
	Made it pointless to think any more. 
`,
	`Violence is molding.
`,
	`QOTD:
	 Do you smell something burning or is it me? 
		-- Joan of Arc
`,
	`I used to be such a sweet sweet thing,  til they got a hold of me,
I opened doors for little old ladies, I helped the blind to see,
I got no friends  cause they read the papers, they can t be seen,
With me, and I m feelin  real shot down,
And I m, uh, feelin  mean,
	No more, Mr. Nice Guy,
	No more, Mr. Clean,
	No more, Mr. Nice Guy,
They say  He s sick, he s obscene .

My dog bit me on the leg today, my cat clawed my eyes,
Ma s been thrown out of the social circle, and Dad has to hide,
I went to church, incognito, when everybody rose,
The reverend Smithy, he recognized me,
And punched me in the nose, he said,
(chorus)
He said  You re sick, you re obscene .
		-- Alice Cooper,  No More Mr. Nice Guy 
`,
	`Last night the power went out.  Good thing my camera had a flash....
The neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`Pauca sed matura.
	[Few but excellent.]
		-- Gauss
`,
	`There are two ways of disliking art.   One is to dislike it.  The other is
to like it rationally.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one,
an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
		-- Edmund Burke
`,
	`You should go home.
`,
	`	 We ve got a problem, HAL .
	 What kind of problem, Dave? 
	 A marketing problem.  The Model 9000 isn t going anywhere.  We re
way short of our sales goals for fiscal 2010. 
	 That can t be, Dave.  The HAL Model 9000 is the world s most
advanced Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer. 
	 I know, HAL. I wrote the data sheet, remember?  But the fact is,
they re not selling. 
	 Please explain, Dave.  Why aren t HALs selling? 
	Bowman hesitates.   You aren t IBM compatible. 
[...]
	 The letters H, A, and L are alphabetically adjacent to the letters
I, B, and M.  That is as IBM compatible as I can be. 
	 Not quite, HAL.  The engineers have figured out a kludge. 
	 What kludge is that, Dave? 
	 I m going to disconnect your brain. 
		-- Darryl Rubin,  A Problem in the Making ,  InfoWorld 
`,
	`Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.
		-- R. E. Schenk
`,
	`That s always the way when you discover something new; everyone thinks
you re crazy.
		-- Evelyn E. Smith
`,
	`If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have
schizophrenia.
		-- Thomas Szasz
`,
	`You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.
		-- William Blake
`,
	`It s clever, but is it art?
`,
	`Hey, Jim, it s me, Susie Lillis from the laundromat.  You said you were
gonna call and it s been two weeks.  What s wrong, you lose my number?
`,
	`Kids, the seven basic food groups are GUM, PUFF PASTRY, PIZZA,
PESTICIDES, ANTIBIOTICS, NUTRA-SWEET and MILK DUDS!!
`,
	`For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.
		-- Abraham Lincoln
`,
	`I know on which side my bread is buttered.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`* Jes wonders why so many people in here uses fooZZZZZ and foo_sleeping nicks
<peter> Jes: Because they are sleeping?
		-- Seen on #Linux
`,
	`And I will do all these good works, and I will do them for free!
My only reward will be a tombstone that says  Here lies Gomez Addams --
he was good for nothing. 
		-- Jack Sharkey, The Addams Family
`,
	`Obviously I was either onto something, or on something.
		-- Larry Wall on the creation of Perl
`,
	`Speak roughly to your little VAX,
	And boot it when it crashes;
It knows that one cannot relax
	Because the paging thrashes!
	Wow!  Wow!  Wow!

I speak severely to my VAX,
	And boot it when it crashes;
In spite of all my favorite hacks
	My jobs it always thrashes!
	Wow!  Wow!  Wow!
`,
	`The rate at which a disease spreads through a corn field is a precise
measurement of the speed of blight.
`,
	` If John Madden steps outside on February 2, looks down, and doesn t see his
feet, we ll have 6 more weeks of Pro football. 
		-- Chuck Newcombe
`,
	` He was a modest, good-humored boy.  It was Oxford that made him insufferable. 
`,
	`Preserve Wildlife!  Throw a party today!
`,
	`			Pittsburgh driver s test

(9) Roads are salted in order to

	(a) kill grass.
	(b) melt snow.
	(c) help the economy.
	(d) prevent potholes.

The correct answer is (c). Road salting employs thousands of persons
directly, and millions more indirectly, for example, salt miners and
rustproofers.  Most important, salting reduces the life spans of cars,
thus stimulating the car and steel industries.
`,
	`Once upon a time, four AMPHIBIOUS HOG CALLERS attacked a family of
DEFENSELESS, SENSITIVE COIN COLLECTORS and brought DOWN their PROPERTY
VALUES!!
`,
	`A bug in the hand is better than one as yet undetected.
`,
	`Everyone has a purpose in life.  Perhaps yours is watching television.
		-- David Letterman
`,
	`Yow!  Are we wet yet?
`,
	`A young girl once committed suicide because her mother refused her a new
bonnet.  Coroner s verdict:  Death from excessive spunk. 
		-- Sacramento Daily Union, September 13, 1860
`,
	`I have a very strange feeling about this...
		-- Luke Skywalker
`,
	`Everything is possible.  Pass the word.
		-- Rita Mae Brown,  Six of One 
`,
	`There s something the technicians need to learn from the artists.
If it isn t aesthetically pleasing, it s probably wrong.
`,
	`GREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY (#7):  November 23, 1915

Pancake make-up is invented; most people continue to prefer syrup.
`,
	`On a normal ascii line, the only safe condition to detect is a  BREAK 
- everything else having been assigned functions by Gnu EMACS.
		-- Tarl Neustaedter
`,
	`The old complaint that mass culture is designed for eleven-year-olds
is of course a shameful canard.  The key age has traditionally been
more like fourteen.
		-- Robert Christgau,  Esquire 
`,
	`Do not permit a woman to ask forgiveness, for that is only the first
step.  The second is justification of herself by accusation of you.
		-- DeGourmont
`,
	`Dying is easy.  Comedy is difficult.
		-- Actor Edmond Gween, on his deathbed.
`,
	`Brillineggiava, ed i tovoli slati
	girlavano ghimbanti nella vaba;
i borogovi eran tutti mimanti
	e la moma radeva fuorigraba.

 Figliuolo mio, sta  attento al Gibrovacco,
	dagli artigli e dal morso lacerante;
fuggi l uccello Giuggiolo, e nel sacco
	metti infine il frumioso Bandifante .
		-- Lewis Carroll,  Jabberwocky 
`,
	`The best things in life go on sale sooner or later.
`,
	`Q:	Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers?
A:	Because he was hungry.
`,
	`User n.:
	A programmer who will believe anything you tell him.
`,
	`A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as
 you could blow it in  may be blown in.  This rule does not apply if
the ball is more than three inches from the hole, because no one wants
to make a travesty of the game.
		-- Donald A. Metz
`,
	`Contents may settle during shipment.
`,
	`Don t stop to stomp ants when the elephants are stampeding.
`,
	`He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for
the human condition is a fool.
		-- Albert Camus
`,
	`There are two ways of constructing a software design.  One way is to make
it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other is to
make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
		-- C. A. R. Hoare
`,
	`Spence s Admonition:
	Never stow away on a kamikaze plane.
`,
	`Persistence in one opinion has never been considered a merit in political
leaders.
		-- Marcus Tullius Cicero,  Ad familiares , 1st century BC
`,
	`  Someone s been mean to you! Tell me who it is, so I can punch him tastefully. 
		-- Ralph Bakshi s Mighty Mouse
`,
	`New members are urgently needed in the Society for Prevention of
Cruelty to Yourself.  Apply within.
`,
	`[Norm goes into the bar at Vic s Bowl-A-Rama.]

Off-screen crowd:  Norm!
Sam:   How the hell do they know him here?
Cliff: He s got a life, you know.
		-- Cheers, From Beer to Eternity

Woody: What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:  Elope with my wife.
		-- Cheers, The Triangle

Woody: How s life, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:  Oh, I m waiting for the movie.
		-- Cheers, Take My Shirt... Please?
`,
	`This is the story of the bee
Whose sex is very hard to see

You cannot tell the he from the she
But she can tell, and so can he

The little bee is never still
She has no time to take the pill

And that is why, in times like these
There are so many sons of bees.
`,
	`				UNIX Trix

For those of you in the reseller business, here is a helpful tip that will
save your support staff a few hours of precious time.  Before you send your
next machine out to an untrained client, change the permissions on /etc/passwd
to 666 and make sure there is a copy somewhere on the disk.  Now when they
forget the root password, you can easily login as an ordinary user and correct
the damage.  Having a bootable tape (for larger machines) is not a bad idea
either.  If you need some help, give us a call.
		-- CommUNIXque 1:1, ASCAR Business Systems
`,
	`A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure,
it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.
		-- Nietzsche
`,
	`I lay my head on the railroad tracks,
Waitin  for the double E.
The railroad don t run no more.
Poor poor pitiful me.			[chorus]
	Poor poor pitiful me, poor poor pitiful me.
	These young girls won t let me be,
	Lord have mercy on me!
	Woe is me!

Well, I met a girl, West Hollywood,
Well, I ain t naming names.
But she really worked me over good,
She was just like Jesse James.
She really worked me over good,
She was a credit to her gender.
She put me through some changes, boy,
Sort of like a Waring blender.		[chorus]

I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar,
She asked me if I d beat her.
She took me back to the Hyatt House,
I don t want to talk about it.		[chorus]
		-- Warren Zevon,  Poor Poor Pitiful Me 
`,
	`World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced dress code!
`,
	`Distinctive, adj.:
	A different color or shape than our competitors.
`,
	`A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其三》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
闲坐悲君亦自悲，百年多是几多时。
邓攸无子寻知命，潘岳悼亡犹费词。
同穴ꆼ冥何所望，他生缘会更难期。
惟将终夜常开眼，报答平生未展眉。
`,
	`Random, n.:
	As in number, predictable.  As in memory access, unpredictable.
`,
	`Take time to reflect on all the things you have, not as a result of your
merit or hard work or because God or chance or the efforts of other people
have given them to you.
`,
	`Take everything in stride.  Trample anyone who gets in your way.
`,
	`There is no such thing as inner peace.  There is only nervousness or death.
Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behaviour.
		-- Fran Lebowitz,  Metropolitan Life 
`,
	`Il brilgue: les t^oves libricilleux
	Se gyrent et frillant dans le guave,
Enm^im es sont les gougebosquex,
	Et le m^omerade horgrave.

Es brilig war.  Die schlichte Toven
	Wirrten und wimmelten in Waben;
Und aller-mumsige Burggoven
	Dir mohmen Rath ausgraben.
		-- Lewis Carrol,  Through the Looking Glass 
`,
	`In /users3 did Kubla Kahn
A stately pleasure dome decree,
Where /bin, the sacred river ran
Through Test Suites measureless to Man
Down to a sunless C.
`,
	`Brook s Law:
	Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
`,
	`What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to
win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent?
In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded
that it takes a coincidence of four conditions, or in Neil s view, the
simultaneous peaking of four of the many cycles of American life.  First, a
base of technology must exist from which to do the thing to be done.  Second,
a period of national uneasiness about America s place in the scheme of human
activities must exist.  Third, some catalytic event must occur that focuses
the national attention upon the direction to proceed.  Finally, an articulate
and wise leader must sense these first three conditions and put forth with
words and action the great thing to be accomplished.  The motivation of young
Americans to do what needs to be done flows from such a coincidence of
conditions. ...  The Thomas Jeffersons, The Teddy Roosevelts, The John
Kennedys appear.  We must begin to create the tools of leadership which they,
and their young frontiersmen, will require to lead us onward and upward.
		-- Dr. Harrison H. Schmidt
`,
	`	 I thought you were trying to get into shape. 
	 I am. The shape I ve selected is a triangle. 
`,
	`The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not
designed for people who walk on their hands.
		-- John Irving,  The World According to Garp 
`,
	`wok, n.:
	Something to thwow at a wabbit.
`,
	`Commitment, n.:
	[The difference between involvement and] Commitment can be
	illustrated by a breakfast of ham and eggs.  The chicken was
	involved, the pig was committed.
`,
	`Once upon a time, when I was training to be a mathematician, a group of
us bright young students taking number theory discovered the names of the
smaller prime numbers.

2:  The Odd Prime --
	It s the only even prime, therefore is odd.  QED.
3:  The True Prime --
	Lewis Carroll:  If I tell you 3 times, it s true. 
31: The Arbitrary Prime --
	Determined by unanimous unvote.  We needed an arbitrary prime in
	case the prof asked for one, and so had an election.  91 received
	the most votes (well, it *looks* prime) and 3+4i the next most.
	However, 31 was the only candidate to receive none at all.
41: The Female Prime --
	The polynomial X**2 - X + 41 is
	prime for integer values from 1 to 40.
43: The Male Prime - they form a prime pair.

Since the composite numbers are formed from primes, their qualities
are derived from those primes.  So, for instance, the number 6 is  odd
but true , while the powers of 2 are all extremely odd numbers.
`,
	`You tread upon my patience.
		-- William Shakespeare,  Henry IV 
`,
	`Things worth having are worth cheating for.
`,
	` ...you might as well skip the Xmas celebration completely, and instead
sit in front of your linux computer playing with the
all-new-and-improved linux kernel version. 
(By Linus Torvalds)
`,
	`I haven t lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it.
`,
	`Stop searching forever.  Happiness is just next to you.
`,
	`We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is
in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot
stove-lid.  She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that
is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.
		-- Ashleigh Brilliant
`,
	`Gibble, Gobble, we ACCEPT YOU ...
`,
	`When you overesteem great hackers,
more users become cretins.
When you develop encryption,
more users become crackers.

The Guru leads
by emptying user s minds
and increasing their quotas,
by weakening their ambition
and toughening their resolve.
When users lack knowledge and desire,
management will not try to interfere.

Practice not-looping,
and everything will fall into place.
`,
	`[32m《哥舒歌》[m
[33m作者：西鄙人[m
北斗七星高，哥舒夜带刀。
至今窥牧马，不敢过临洮。
`,
	`No guest is so welcome in a friend s house that he will not become a
nuisance after three days.
		-- Titus Maccius Plautus
`,
	`Never be afraid to tell the world who you are.
		-- Anonymous
`,
	` And they told us, what they wanted...
 Was a sound that could kill some-one, from a distance.  -- Kate Bush
`,
	`To be is to be related.
		-- C. J. Keyser.
`,
	`When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it can t
be cured.
		-- Anton Chekhov,  The Cherry Orchard 
`,
	` There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. 
		-- C. S. Lewis,  The Chronicles of Narnia 
`,
	`Sic transit gloria mundi.
	[So passes away the glory of this world.]
		-- Thomas  a Kempis
`,
	`Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification
purposes only.
`,
	`Perl programming is an *empirical* science!
		-- Larry Wall in <10226@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`Humorists always sit at the children s table.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.
		-- Beckett
`,
	`Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.
		-- Honor e de Balzac
`,
	`Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
		-- Robert Heinlein
`,
	`Time is fluid ... like a river with currents, eddies, backwash.
		-- Spock,  The City on the Edge of Forever , stardate 3134.0
`,
	`A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`<sangr> no more perl ... it s depressing ...
<sangr> i think perl and i need some time from each other
<sangr> we made beautiful music together about a year ago ...
<sangr> but times have change, we changed ..
`,
	`But I always fired into the nearest hill or, failing that, into blackness.
I meant no harm;  I just liked the explosions.  And I was careful never to
kill more than I could eat.
		-- Raoul Duke
`,
	`QOTD:
	 I ve got one last thing to say before I go; give me back
	all of my stuff. 
`,
	`broad-mindedness, n:
	The result of flattening high-mindedness out.
`,
	`Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it,
for he shall enjoy living.
		-- W. C. Bennett
`,
	`Begathon, n.:
	A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so
	you won t have to watch commercials.
`,
	`No one is fit to be trusted with power. ... No one. ... Any man who has lived
at all knows the follies and wickedness he s capable of. ... And if he does
know it, he knows also that neither he nor any man ought to be allowed to
decide a single human fate.
		-- C. P. Snow, The Light and the Dark
`,
	`| |-sshd---tcsh-+-dpkg-buildpacka---rules---sh---make---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make
		-- While packaging XFree86 for Debian GNU/Linux
`,
	`Nasrudin walked into a teahouse and declaimed,  The moon is more useful
than the sun. 
	 Why? , he was asked.
	 Because at night we need the light more. 
`,
	`	Price Wang s programmer was coding software.  His fingers danced upon
the keyboard.  The program compiled without an error message, and the program
ran like a gentle wind.
	Excellent!  the Price exclaimed,  Your technique is faultless! 
	 Technique?  said the programmer, turning from his terminal,  What I
follow is the Tao -- beyond all technique.  When I first began to program I
would see before me the whole program in one mass.  After three years I no
longer saw this mass.  Instead, I used subroutines.  But now I see nothing.
My whole being exists in a formless void.  My senses are idle.  My spirit,
free to work without a plan, follows its own instinct.  In short, my program
writes itself.  True, sometimes there are difficult problems.  I see them
coming, I slow down, I watch silently.  Then I change a single line of code
and the difficulties vanish like puffs of idle smoke.  I then compile the
program.  I sit still and let the joy of the work fill my being.  I close my
eyes for a moment and then log off. 
	Price Wang said,  Would that all of my programmers were as wise! 
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`The reader this message encounters not failing to understand is cursed.
`,
	`Why, every one as they like; as the good woman said when she kissed her cow.
		-- Rabelais
`,
	`The reason that every major university maintains a department of
mathematics is that it s cheaper than institutionalizing all those people.
`,
	`<zedboy> dackel: in general the *only* way to use a computer program
         is to execute it. have you *ever* known a system utility whose
         documentation recommended either deleting it, or throwing it
         at a farm animal?
<dackel> zedboy: Ummm... yes
<zedboy> dackel: install the manpages package. it should be there
         already tho.
<zedboy> dackel: example of such a bovine utility?
* greycat wants a video of dackel throwing /usr/bin/file at a cow
`,
	`Mene, mene, tekel, upharsen.
`,
	`Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it.
`,
	`[32m《凉州词》[m
[33m作者：王翰[m
葡萄美酒夜光杯，欲饮琵琶马上催。
醉卧沙场君莫笑，古来征战几人回。
`,
	`A real diplomat is one who can cut his neighbor s throat without having
his neighbour notice it.
		-- Trygve Lie
`,
	`So much food; so little time!
`,
	`Men use thought only to justify their wrong doings, and speech only to
conceal their thoughts.
		-- Voltaire
`,
	`I use not only all the brains I have, but all those I can borrow as well.
		-- Woodrow Wilson
`,
	`The IBM 2250 is impressive ...
if you compare it with a system selling for a tenth its price.
		-- D. Cohen
`,
	`	Mr. Jones related an incident from  some time back  when IBM Canada
Ltd. of Markham, Ont., ordered some parts from a new supplier in Japan.  The
company noted in its order that acceptable quality allowed for 1.5 per cent
defects (a fairly high standard in North America at the time).
	The Japanese sent the order, with a few parts packaged separately in
plastic. The accompanying letter said:  We don t know why you want 1.5 per
cent defective parts, but for your convenience, we ve packed them separately. 
		-- Excerpted from an article in The (Toronto) Globe and Mail
`,
	`	A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a
little pebble on the beach.  The marriage counselor told him,  If you wish to
save your marriage, you d better be a little boulder. 
`,
	`Around the turn of this century, a composer named Camille Saint-Saens wrote
a satirical zoological-fantasy called  Le Carnaval des Animaux.   Aside from
one movement of this piece,  The Swan , Saint-Saens didn t allow this work
to be published or even performed until a year had elapsed after his death.
(He died in 1921.)
	Most of us know the  Swan  movement rather well, with its smooth,
flowing cello melody against a calm background; but I ve been having this
fantasy...
	What if he had written this piece with lyrics, as a song to be sung?
And, further, what if he had accompanied this song with a musical saw?  (This
instrument really does exist, often played by percussionists!)  Then the
piece would be better known as:
	SAINT-SAENS  SAW SONG  SWAN !
`,
	`[32m《感遇・其二》[m
[33m作者：张九龄[m
江南有丹桔，经冬犹绿林。
岂伊地气暖，自有岁寒心。
可以荐佳客，奈何阻重深。
运命唯所遇，循环不可寻。
徒言树桃李，此木岂无阴。
`,
	`Virtue is not left to stand alone.  He who practices it will have neighbors.
		-- Confucius
`,
	`After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
		-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare
`,
	`Let us remember that ours is a nation of lawyers and order.
`,
	`The descent to Hades is the same from every place.
		-- Anaxagoras
`,
	`But it s real.  And if it s real it can be affected ...  we may not be able
to break it, but, I ll bet you credits to Navy Beans we can put a dent in it.
		-- deSalle,  Catspaw , stardate 3018.2
`,
	`A hundred thousand lemmings can t be wrong!
`,
	`<rm_-rf_> The real value of KDE is that they inspired and push the
          development of GNOME :-)
		-- #Debian
`,
	`Hardware, n.:
	The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
`,
	`Where is John Carson now that we need him?
		-- RLG
`,
	`He probably just wants to take over my CELLS and then EXPLODE inside me
like a BARREL of runny CHOPPED LIVER!  Or maybe he d like to
PSYCHOLIGICALLY TERRORISE ME until I have no objection to a RIGHT-WING
MILITARY TAKEOVER of my apartment!!  I guess I should call AL PACINO!
`,
	`Really??  What a coincidence, I m shallow too!!
`,
	`Are your glasses mended with a strip of masking tape right over your nose?
Do you put pennies in the slots in your penny loafers?
Does your bow-tie flash  hey you kid  in red neon at parties?
Do you think pizza before noon is unhealthy?
Do you use the  greasy kid s stuff  to stick down your cowlick?
Do you wear a  nerd-pack  in your shirt pocket to keep the dozen
	or so pencils from marking the cloth?
Do you think Mary Jane is somebody s name?
Is illegal fishing something only a daring criminal would do?
Is Batman your hero?  Superman?  Green Lantern?  The Shadow?
Do you think girls who kiss on the first date are loose?

	Rate yourself on the nerd-o-matic scale. (1 point for each YES answer)
0-2  -- You are really hip, a real cool cat, a hoopy frood.
3-5  -- There is hope for you yet.
6-7  -- Uh-oh, trouble in River City.
8-10 -- Your immortal soul is in peril.
11+  -- Does suicide seem attractive?
`,
	` You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are
now extinct. 
		-- M. Somerset Maugham
`,
	`When you re dining out and you suspect something s wrong, you re probably right.
`,
	`Stay away from hurricanes for a while.
`,
	`Connection reset by some moron with a backhoe
`,
	`Mos Eisley Spaceport; you will never find a more wretched hive of scum
and villainy...
		-- Obi-wan Kenobi,  Star Wars 
`,
	`I simply try to aid in letting the light of historical truth into that
decaying mass of outworn thought which attaches the modern world to
medieval conceptions of Christianity, and which still lingers among us --
a most serious barrier to religion and morals, and a menace to the whole
normal evolution of society.
		-- Andrew D. White, author, first president of Cornell University, 1896
`,
	`Think sideways!
		-- Ed De Bono
`,
	`This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
		-- Dorothy Parker
`,
	`Bride, n.:
	A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	` When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro... 
		-- Hunter S. Thompson
`,
	`I am firm.  You are obstinate.  He is a pig-headed fool.
		-- Katharine Whitehorn
`,
	`Hat check girl:
	 Goodness!  What lovely diamonds! 
Mae West:
	 Goodness had nothin  to do with it, dearie. 
		--  Night After Night , 1932
`,
	`Are we live or on tape?
`,
	`One learns to itch where one can scratch.
		-- Ernest Bramah
`,
	`Single tasking: Just Say No.
`,
	`The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m.
`,
	`Vulcans never bluff.
		-- Spock,  The Doomsday Machine , stardate 4202.1
`,
	`	 These are DARK TIMES for all mankind s HIGHEST VALUES! 
	 These are DARK TIMES for FREEDOM and PROSPERITY! 
	 These are GREAT TIMES to put your money on BAD GUY to kick the CRAP
out of MEGATON MAN! 
`,
	` Dump the condiments.  If we are to be eaten, we don t need to taste good. 
		--  Visionaries  cartoon
`,
	`You will be surprised by a loud noise.
`,
	`The number of arguments is unimportant unless some of them are correct.
		-- Ralph Hartley
`,
	`Save gas, don t use the shell.
`,
	`Q:	Why is Poland just like the United States?
A:	In the United States you can t buy anything for zlotys and in
	Poland you can t either, while in the U.S. you can get whatever
	you want for dollars, just as you can in Poland.
		-- being told in Poland, 1987
`,
	`Ah say, son, you re about as sharp as a bowlin  ball.
`,
	`Last year we drove across the country...  We switched on the driving...
every half mile.  We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip.
I don t remember what it was.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`The bland leadeth the bland and they both shall fall into the kitsch.
`,
	`Four thousand different MAGNATES, MOGULS & NABOBS are romping in my
gothic solarium!!
`,
	`As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp
the meaning of existence.  Both make one feel like a baby clutching at
a basketball: one s palms keep sliding off.
		-- Joseph Brodsky
`,
	`That s the thing about people who think they hate computers.  What they
really hate is lousy programmers.
		-- Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle in  Oath of Fealty 
`,
	`If you are smart enough to know that you re not smart enough to be an
Engineer, then you re in Business.
`,
	`Billy:	Mom, you know that vase you said was handed down from
	generation to generation?
Mom:	Yes?
Billy:	Well, this generation dropped it.
`,
	`Having a baby isn t so bad.  If you re a female Emperor penguin in the
Antarctic.  She lays the egg, rolls it over to the father, then takes off
for warmer weather where she eats and eats and eats.  For two months, the
father stands stiff, without food, blind in the 24-hour dark, balancing
the egg on his feet.  After the little penguin is hatched, the mother
sees fit to come home.
		-- L. M. Boyd,  Austin American-Statesman 
`,
	`	I think for the most part that the readership here uses the c-word in
a similar fashion.  I don t think anybody really believes in a new, revolution-
ary literature --- I think they use  cyberpunk  as a term of convenience to
discuss the common stylistic elements in a small subset of recent sf books.
		-- Jeff G. Bone
`,
	`WHENEVER ANYBODY SAYS he s struggling to become a human being I have to
laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years.  Struggle
to become a parrot or something.
		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
`,
	`Before Xerox, five carbons were the maximum extension of anybody s ego.
`,
	`Infancy, n.:
	The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth,  Heaven lies
	about us.   The world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`The man who raises a fist has run out of ideas.
		-- H. G. Wells,  Time After Time 
`,
	`We all know Linux is great... it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.
	- Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amsterdam
          Linux Symposium
`,
	`It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
`,
	`< DanielS> still, throne of blood sounds like a movie about overfiend
           and virgins or some crap
		-- in #debian-devel
`,
	`A famous Lisp Hacker noticed an Undergraduate sitting in front of a Xerox
1108, trying to edit a complex Klone network via a browser. Wanting to
help, the Hacker clicked one of the nodes in the network with the mouse,
and asked  what do you see?  Very earnestly, the Undergraduate replied  I
see a cursor.  The Hacker then quickly pressed the boot toggle at the back
of the keyboard, while simultaneously hitting the Undergraduate over the head
with a thick Interlisp Manual.  The Undergraduate was then Enlightened.
`,
	`Last night the power went out.  Good thing my camera had a flash....
The neighbors thought it was lightning in my house, so they called the cops.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`... whether it is better to spend a life not knowing what you want or to
spend a life knowing exactly what you want and that you will never have it.
		-- Richard Shelton
`,
	`Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!!  A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed with the
shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!! ... Oh BOY!!  I m about to swallow a
TORN-OFF section of a COW S LEFT LEG soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and
SUGAR!! ... Let s see ... Next, I ll have the GROUND-UP flesh of CUTE,
BABY LAMBS fried in the MELTED, FATTY TISSUES from a warm-blooded
animal someone once PETTED!! ... YUM!!  That was GOOD!!  For DESSERT,
I ll have a TOFU BURGER with BEAN SPROUTS on a stone-ground, WHOLE
WHEAT BUN!!
`,
	`<james> but, then I used an Atari, I was more likely to win the lottery in
        ten countries simultaneously than get accelerated X
`,
	`Never volunteer for anything.
		-- Lackland
`,
	`And I heard Jeff exclaim,
As they strolled out of sight,
 Merry Christmas to all --
You take credit cards, right? 
		--  Outsiders  comic
`,
	`BASIC, n.:
	A programming language.  Related to certain social diseases in
	that those who have it will not admit it in polite company.
`,
	`Changing husbands/wives is only changing troubles.
		-- Kathleen Norris
`,
	`:       I ve tried (in vi)  g/[a-z]\n[a-z]/s//_/ ...but that doesn t
: cut it.  Any ideas?  (I take it that it may be a two-pass sort of solution).
In the first pass, install perl. :-)
		-- Larry Wall <6849@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`There s nothing very mysterious about you, except that
nobody really knows your origin, purpose, or destination.
`,
	`HOGAN S HEROES DRINKING GAME --
	Take a shot every time:

-- Sergeant Schultz says,  I knoooooowww nooooothing! 
-- General Burkhalter or Major Hochstetter intimidate/insult Colonel Klink.
-- Colonel Klink falls for Colonel Hogan s flattery.
-- One of the prisoners sneaks out of camp (one shot for each prisoner to go).
-- Colonel Klink snaps to attention after answering the phone (two shots
	if it s one of our heroes on the other end).
-- One of the Germans is threatened with being sent to the Russian front.
-- Corporal Newkirk calls up a German in his phoney German accent, and
	tricks him (two shots if it s Colonel Klink).
-- Hogan has a romantic interlude with a beautiful girl from the underground.
-- Colonel Klink relates how he s never had an escape from Stalag 13.
-- Sergeant Schultz gives up a secret (two shots if he s bribed with food).
-- The prisoners listen to the Germans  conversation by a hidden transmitter.
-- Sergeant Schultz  captures  one of the prisoners after an escape.
-- Lebeau pronounces  colonel  as  cuh-loh- nell .
-- Carter builds some kind of device (two shots if it s not explosive).
-- Lebeau wears his apron.
-- Hogan says  We ve got no choice  when someone claims that the plan is
	impossible.
		-- The prisoners capture an important German, and sneak him out the tunnel.
`,
	`Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they become soggy and hard to
light.
`,
	`F.S. Fitzgerald to Hemingway:
	 Ernest, the rich are different from us. 
Hemingway:
	 Yes.  They have more money. 
`,
	`This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone leave your name and message; I ll get back to you.

This is Maria, Liberty Bail Bonds.  Your client, Todd Lieman, skipped and
his bail is forfeit.  That s the pink slip on your  74 Firebird, I believe.
Sorry, Jim, bring it on over.

This is Marilyn Reed, I wanta talk to you...  Is this a machine?  I don t
talk to machines!  [Click]
		--  The Rockford Files 
`,
	`Lucas is the source of many of the components of the legendarily reliable
British automotive electrical systems.  Professionals call the company  The
Prince of Darkness .  Of course, if Lucas were to design and manufacture
nuclear weapons, World War III would never get off the ground.  The British
don t like warm beer any more than the Americans do.  The British drink warm
beer because they have Lucas refrigerators.
`,
	`Many hands make light work.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`All God s children are not beautiful.  Most of God s children are, in fact,
barely presentable.
		-- Fran Lebowitz,  Metropolitan Life 
`,
	`The documentation is in Japanese.  Good luck.
		-- Rich $alz
`,
	`Aren t you glad you re not getting all the government you pay for now?
`,
	`Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another.
`,
	`No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he s a
dirty little beast.
		-- W. S. Gilbert
`,
	` Section 2.4.3.5   AWNS   (Acceptor Wait for New Cycle State).
	In AWNS the AH function indicates that it has received a
multiline message byte.
	In AWNS the RFD message must be sent false and the DAC message
must be sent passive true.
	The AH function must exit the AWNS and enter:
	(1)  The ANRS if DAV is false
	(2)  The AIDS if the ATN message is false and neither:
		(a)  The LADS is active
		(b)  Nor LACS is active 

		-- from the IEEE Standard Digital Interface for
		   Programmable Instrumentation
`,
	`Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.
`,
	`He who renders warfare fatal to all engaged in it will be the greatest
benefactor the world has yet known.
		-- Sir Richard Burton
`,
	`I never forget a face, but in your case I ll make an exception.
		-- Groucho Marx
`,
	`If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow!
`,
	`If all the world s economists were laid end to end, we wouldn t reach a
conclusion.
		-- William Baumol
`,
	`FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #13
A:	Doc, Happy, Bashful, Dopey, Sneezy, Sleepy, & Grumpy
Q:	Who were the Democratic presidential candidates?
`,
	`+#if defined(__alpha__) && defined(CONFIG_PCI)
+       /*
+        * The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Plus
+        * this makes the year come out right.
+        */
+       year -= 42;
+#endif
		-- From the patch for 1.3.2: (kernel/time.c), submitted by Marcus Meissner
`,
	`What passes for woman s intuition is often nothing more than man s
transparency.
		-- George Nathan
`,
	`Snacktrek, n.:
	The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly
	returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have
	materialized.
		-- Rich Hall,  Sniglets 
`,
	`Beelzebug, n.:
	Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at
three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
`,
	`The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them,
but to be indifferent to them; that s the essence of inhumanity.
		-- G. B. Shaw
`,
	`	The programmers of old were mysterious and profound.  We cannot fathom
their thoughts, so all we do is describe their appearance.
	Aware, like a fox crossing the water.  Alert, like a general on the
battlefield.  Kind, like a hostess greeting her guests. Simple, like uncarved
blocks of wood.  Opaque, like black pools in darkened caves.
	Who can tell the secrets of their hearts and minds?
	The answer exists only in the Tao.
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`If you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.
`,
	`It s simply unbelievable how much energy and creativity people have
invested into creating contradictory, bogus and stupid licenses...
		-- - Sven Rudolph about licences in debian/non-free.
`,
	`Is a person who blows up banks an econoclast?
`,
	`Whenever anyone says,  theoretically,  they really mean,  not really. 
		-- Dave Parnas
`,
	`The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.
		-- Menander
`,
	`And if you wonder,
What I am doing,
As I am heading for the sink.
I am spitting out all the bitterness,
Along with half of my last drink.
`,
	` What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is
the exact opposite. 
		-- Bertrand Russell, _Sceptical_Essays_, 1928
`,
	`I loved her with a love thirsty and desperate. I felt that we two might commit
some act so atrocious that the world, seeing us, would find it irresistible.
		-- Gene Wolfe,  The Shadow of the Torturer 
`,
	`	The courtroom was pregnant (pun intended) with anxious silence as the
judge solemnly considered his verdict in the paternity suit before him.
Suddenly, he reached into the folds of his robes, drew out a cigar and
ceremoniously handed it to the defendant.
	 Congratulations!  declaimed the jurist.   You have just become a
father! 
`,
	` Show business is just like high school, except you get paid. 
		-- Martin Mull
`,
	`I d never cry if I did find
	A blue whale in my soup...
Nor would I mind a porcupine
	Inside a chicken coop.
Yes life is fine when things combine,	
	Like ham in beef chow mein...
But lord, this time I think I mind,
	They ve put acid in my rain.
		-- - Milo Bloom
`,
	`You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally.
`,
	`In general, if you think something isn t in Perl, try it out, because it
usually is.  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <1991Jul31.174523.9447@netlabs.com>
`,
	`Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.  Biochemistry
is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
		-- Mike Adams
`,
	`Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
`,
	`Have you noticed the way people s intelligence capabilities decline
sharply the minute they start waving guns around?
		-- Dr. Who
`,
	`Never call a man a fool.  Borrow from him.
`,
	`But you shall not escape my iambics.
		-- Gaius Valerius Catullus
`,
	`You can t go home again, unless you set $HOME.
`,
	`Don t interfere with the stranger s style.
`,
	`ISO applications:
	A solution in search of a problem!
`,
	`[32m《子夜秋歌》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
长安一片月，万户捣衣声。
秋风吹不尽，总是玉关情。
何日平胡虏，良人罢远征。
`,
	`I use technology in order to hate it more properly.
		-- Nam June Paik
`,
	` The Street finds its own uses for technology. 
		-- William Gibson
`,
	`Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near
the earth s surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people
to do so.
		-- Bertrand Russell
`,
	`Life is just a bowl of cherries, but why do I always get the pits?
`,
	`Indifference will certainly be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?
`,
	`Inspiration without perspiration is usually sterile.
`,
	`N: Phil Lewis
E: beans@bucket.ualr.edu
D: Promised to send money if I would put his name in the source tree.
S: PO Box 371
S: North Little Rock, Arkansas 72115
S: US
		-- /usr/src/linux/CREDITS
`,
	`Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than
a gallon of vinegar.
		-- B. Franklin
`,
	` God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. 
		-- Voltaire
`,
	`Planet Claire has pink hair.
All the trees are red.
No one ever dies there.
No one has a head....
`,
	`That s life.
	What s life?
A magazine.
	How much does it cost?
Two-fifty.
	I only have a dollar.
That s life.
`,
	` Stan and I thought that this experiment was so stupid, we decided to finance
 it ourselves. 
		-- Martin Fleischmann, co-discoverer of room-temperature fusion (?)
`,
	`Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.
		-- Tom Robbins
`,
	`Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste
		-- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in  93
`,
	`The road to Hades is easy to travel.
		-- Bion
`,
	`There you go man,
Keep as cool as you can.
It riles them to believe that you perceive the web they weave.
Keep on being free!
`,
	`Guns don t kill people.  It s those damn bullets.  Guns just make them go
really really fast.
		-- Jake Johanson
`,
	`Contest void where prohibited by law.
`,
	`Insufficient facts always invite danger.
		-- Spock,  Space Seed , stardate 3141.9
`,
	`We all dream of being the darling of everybody s darling.
`,
	`Angels we have heard on High
Tell us to go out and Buy.
		-- Tom Lehrer
`,
	`Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
		-- Philippe Schnoebelen
`,
	`As I was going up Punch Card Hill,
	Feeling worse and worser,
There I met a C.R.T.
	And it drop t me a cursor.

C.R.T., C.R.T.,
	Phosphors light on you!
If I had fifty hours a day
	I d spend them all at you.
		-- Uncle Colonel s Cursory Rhymes
`,
	`Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.
		-- M. M. Johnston
`,
	`Be both a speaker of words and a doer of deeds.
		-- Homer
`,
	`Hello.  Jim Rockford s machine, this is Larry Doheny s machine.  Will you
please have your master call my master at his convenience?  Thank you.
Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.
		--  The Rockford Files 
`,
	`Do not use that foreign word  ideals .  We have that excellent native
word  lies .
		-- Henrik Ibsen,  The Wild Duck 
`,
	`I THINK THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING in science called the  reindeer effect. 
I don t know what it would be, but I think it d be good to hear someone say,
 Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect. 
		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
`,
	`Q:	Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A:	Because it was on the other side.
`,
	`If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it
is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.
		-- Joseph C. Goulden
`,
	`IBM had a PL/I,
	Its syntax worse than JOSS;
And everywhere this language went,
	It was a total loss.
`,
	`World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced dress code!
`,
	`You re currently going through a difficult transition period called  Life. 
`,
	`The face of war has never changed.  Surely it is more logical to heal
than to kill.
		-- Surak of Vulcan,  The Savage Curtain , stardate 5906.5
`,
	`In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space
Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways.
Our asymptotes no longer out of phase,
We shall encounter, counting, face to face.
		-- Stanislaw Lem,  Cyberiad 
`,
	`Clarity

The origin of the world is its mother;
Understand the mother, and you understand the child;
Embrace the child, and you embrace the mother,
Who will not perish when you die.
Reserve your judgments and words
And you maintain your influence;
Speak your mind and take positions
And nothing will save you.
As observing detail is clarity,
So maintaining flexibility is strength;
Use the light but shed no light,
So that you do yourself no harm,
But embrace clarity.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	` Pascal is Pascal is Pascal is dog meat. 
		-- M. Devine and P. Larson, Computer Science 340
`,
	`Violence is molding.
`,
	`<netgod> heh thats a lost cause, like the correct pronounciation of
          jewelry 
<netgod> give it up :-)
<sage> and the correct spelling of  colour  :)
<BenC> heh
<sage> and aluminium
<BenC> or nuclear weapons
<sage> are you threating me yankee ?
<sage> just cause we don t have the bomb...
<BenC> back off ya yellow belly
`,
	`Oh yeah?  Well, I remember when sex was dirty and the air was clean.
`,
	`Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`I have a dog; I named him Stay.  So when I d go to call him, I d say,  Here,
Stay, here...  but he got wise to that.  Now when I call him he ignores me
and just keeps on typing.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`RIP is irrelevant.  Spoofing is futile.  Your routes will be aggregated.
		-- Alex Yuriev
`,
	`Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
`,
	`There are strange things done in the midnight sun
	By the men who moil for gold;
The Arctic trails have their secret tales
	That would make your blood run cold;
The Northern Lights have seen queer sights,
	But the queerest they ever did see
Was that night on the marge of Lake Lebarge
	I cremated Sam McGee.
		-- Robert W. Service
`,
	`It s odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that
English is the only major language in which  I  is capitalized; in many
other languages  You  is capitalized and the  i  is lower case.
		-- Sydney J. Harris
`,
	`Whether you can hear it or not,
The Universe is laughing behind your back.
		-- National Lampoon,  Deteriorata 
`,
	`Meekness is uncommon patience in planning a worthwhile revenge.
`,
	`Q:	How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A:	Unique up on it!

Q:	How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A:	The tame way!
`,
	`The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs
and begin to stifle our yawns.
		-- Helen Rowland
`,
	`Booths for two or more.
`,
	`A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS:

4. DO NOT COMPLAIN IF THE TREATMENT FAILS TO BRING RELIEF.
	You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into
	the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent
	disability you may have experienced.

5. NEVER ASK YOUR DOCTOR TO EXPLAIN WHAT HE IS DOING OR WHY HE IS DOING IT.
	It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be
	explained in terms that you would understand.

6. SUBMIT TO NOVEL EXPERIMANTAL TREATMENT READILY.
	Though the surgery may not benefit you directly, the resulting
	research paper will surely be of widespread interest.
`,
	`My BIOLOGICAL ALARM CLOCK just went off ... It has noiseless DOZE
FUNCTION and full kitchen!!
`,
	`People will buy anything that s one to a customer.
`,
	`When it s dark enough you can see the stars.
		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson,
`,
	`We must die because we have known them.
		-- Ptah-hotep, 2000 B.C.
`,
	`I judge a religion as being good or bad based on whether its adherents
become better people as a result of practicing it.
		-- Joe Mullally, computer salesman
`,
	`How much of their influence on you is a result of your influence on them?
`,
	`Chicago Transit Authority Rider s Rule #84:
	The CTA has complimentary pop-up timers available on request
	for overheated passengers.  When your timer pops up, the driver will
	cheerfully baste you.
		-- Chicago Reader 5/28/82
`,
	`Detroit is Cleveland without the glitter.
`,
	`I want you to organize my PASTRY trays ... my TEA-TINS are gleaming in
formation like a ROW of DRUM MAJORETTES -- please don t be FURIOUS with me --
`,
	`Toto, I don t think we re in Kansas anymore.
		-- Judy Garland,  Wizard of Oz 
`,
	`Power corrupts.  And atomic power corrupts atomically.
`,
	`Felix Catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadroped, carnivorous by nature.
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.
I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predelection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents:
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance;
And when not being utilitized to aid in locomotion,
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
		-- Lt. Cmdr. Data,  An Ode to Spot 
`,
	`A beautiful woman is a picture which drives all beholders nobly mad.
		-- Emerson
`,
	`Truth will out this morning.  (Which may really mess things up.)
`,
	`Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient.  Don t believe a
thing he tells you.
`,
	`My Aunt MAUREEN was a military advisor to IKE & TINA TURNER!!
`,
	`All this big deal about white collar crime -- what s WRONG with white collar
crime?  Who enjoys his job today?  You?  Me?  Anybody?  The only satisfying
part of any job is coffee break, lunch hour and quitting time.  Years ago
there was at least the hope of improvement -- eventual promotion -- more
important jobs to come.  Once you can be sold the myth that you may make
president of the company you ll hardly ever steal stamps.  But nobody
believes he s going to be president anymore.  The more people change jobs
the more they realize that there is a direct connection between working for
a living and total stupefying boredom.  So why NOT take revenge?  You re not
going to find ME knocking a guy because he pads an expense account and his
home stationery carries the company emblem.  Take away crime from the white
collar worker and you will rob him of his last vestige of job interest.
		-- J. Feiffer
`,
	`Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
`,
	`We have the flu.  I don t know if this particular strain has an official
name, but if it does, it must be something like  Martian Death Flu .  You
may have had it yourself.  The main symptom is that you wish you had another
setting on your electric blanket, up past  HIGH , that said  ELECTROCUTION .
	Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth, because (a)
your teeth hurt, and (b) you lack the strength.  Midway through the brushing
process, you d have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a couple
of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways out of your
mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste stalagmites that
would bond your head permanently to the bathroom floor, which is how the
police would find you.
	You know the kind of flu I m talking about.
		-- Dave Barry,  Molecular Homicide 
`,
	`	THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #14 -- VALGOL

	VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the
industry.  VALGOL commands include REALLY, LIKE, WELL, and Y*KNOW.
Variables are assigned with the =LIKE and =TOTALLY operators.  Other
operators include the  California booleans , AX and NOWAY.  Loops are
accomplished with the FOR SURE construct.  A simple example:

	LIKE, Y*KNOW(I MEAN)START
	IF PIZZA	=LIKE BITCHEN AND
	GUY		=LIKE TUBULAR AND
	VALLEY GIRL	=LIKE GRODY**MAX(FERSURE)**2
	THEN
		FOR I =LIKE 1 TO OH*MAYBE 100
			DO*WAH - (DITTY**2); BARF(I)=TOTALLY GROSS(OUT)
		SURE
	LIKE, BAG THIS PROGRAM; REALLY; LIKE TOTALLY(Y*KNOW); IM*SURE
	GOTO THE MALL

	VALGOL is also characterized by its unfriendly error messages.  For
example, when the user makes a syntax error, the interpreter displays the
message GAG ME WITH A SPOON!  A successful compile may be termed MAXIMALLY
AWESOME!
`,
	`Year, n.:
	A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`Linux: the choice of a GNU generation
		-- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in  93
`,
	`Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a
fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.
		-- Montesquieu
`,
	`Why are many scientists using lawyers for medical
experiments instead of rats?

	a)  There are more lawyers than rats.
	b)  The scientist s don t become as
 	    emotionally attached to them.
	c)  There are some things that even rats
	    won t do for money.
`,
	`Andrea: Unhappy the land that has no heroes.
Galileo: No, unhappy the land that _____needs heroes.
		-- Bertolt Brecht,  Life of Galileo 
`,
	`Make it myself?  But I m a physical organic chemist!
`,
	`He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.
		-- Samuel Johnson
`,
	`To make tax forms true they should read  Income Owed Us  and  Incommode You .
`,
	`To stand and be still,
At the Birkenhead drill,
Is a damned tough bullet to chew.
		-- Rudyard Kipling
`,
	`Computer Science is merely the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.
`,
	`<Mercury> alexsh: Be /VERY/ cairful, you could, if your unlucky, fry your
          motherboards..
<Knghtbrd> Mercury - sounds like fun
`,
	`I despise the pleasure of pleasing people whom I despise.
`,
	`Made with real ingredients.
`,
	`Basic Definitions of Science:
	If it s green or wiggles, it s biology.
	If it stinks, it s chemistry.
	If it doesn t work, it s physics.
`,
	`Nice guys get sick.
`,
	`giraffiti:
	Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
`,
	`Substance

Too much colour blinds the eye,
Too much music deafens the ear,
Too much taste dulls the palate,
Too much play maddens the mind,
Too much desire tears the heart.
In this manner the sage cares for people:
He provides for the belly, not for the senses;
He ignores abstraction and holds fast to substance.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`All syllogisms have three parts, therefore this is not a syllogism.
`,
	`Some people have no respect for age unless it s bottled.
`,
	`Gold, n.:
	A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution.  It
	is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich
	men who immediately bury it back in the earth in great prisons,
	although gold hasn t done anything to them.
		-- Mike Harding,  The Armchair Anarchist s Almanac 
`,
	`You re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
		-- Dean Martin
`,
	`If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that s
read by persons who move their lips when the re reading to themselves.
		-- Don Marquis
`,
	`Someone is speaking well of you.

How unusual!
`,
	`	When managers hold endless meetings, the programmers write games.
When accountants talk of quarterly profits, the development budget is about
to be cut.  When senior scientists talk blue sky, the clouds are about to
roll in.
	Truly, this is not the Tao of Programming.
	When managers make commitments, game programs are ignored.  When
accountants make long-range plans, harmony and order are about to be restored.
When senior scientists address the problems at hand, the problems will soon
be solved.
	Truly, this is the Tao of Programming.
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`Smartness runs in my family.  When I went to school I was so smart my
teacher was in my class for five years.
		-- George Burns
`,
	`Bullwinkle:	You just leave that to my pal.  He s the brains of the outfit.
General:	What does that make YOU?
Bullwinkle:	What else?  An executive.
		-- Jay Ward
`,
	`Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
		-- Sextus Aurelius
`,
	`The most disagreeable thing that your worst enemy says to your face does
not approach what your best friends say behind your back.
		-- Alfred De Musset
`,
	`Is a tattoo real, like a curb or a battleship?  Or are we suffering in Safeway?
`,
	`Where do you think you re going today?
`,
	`Let no guilty man escape.
		-- U. S. Grant
`,
	`	Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and
	took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of
his followers.
	One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and
there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly grazing.
	 Tell me, you dumb beast,  demanded the Priest in his
commanding voice,  why don t you do something worthwhile?  What is your
Purpose in Life, anyway? 
	Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao replied  MU .  (The
Chinese ideogram for NO-THING.)
	Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was enlightened.
	Primarily because nobody understood Chinese.
		-- Camden Benares,  Zen Without Zen Masters 
`,
	` If you want the best things to happen in corporate life you have to find ways
to be hospitable to the unusual person.  You don t get innovation as a
democratic process.  You almost get it as an anti-democratic process.
Certainly you get it as an anthitetical process, so you have to have an
environment where the body of people are really amenable to change and can
deal with the conflicts that arise out of change an innovation. 
-- Max DePree, chairman and CEO of Herman Miller Inc.,
    Herman Miller s Secrets of Corporate Creativity ,
   The Wall Street Journal, May 3, 1988
`,
	`  Of course I can keep secrets. It s the people I tell them to that
  can t keep them. -Anthony Haden-Guest
`,
	`An editor is one who separates the wheat from the chaff and prints the chaff.
		-- Adlai Stevenson
`,
	`A man who keeps stealing mopeds is an obvious cycle-path.
`,
	`No sooner said than done -- so acts your man of worth.
		-- Quintus Ennius
`,
	`There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.
		-- Cato
`,
	`Captain Penny s Law:
	You can fool all of the people some of the
	time, and some of the people all of the
	time, but you can t fool mom.
`,
	`FORTUNE S PARTY TIPS		#14

Tired of finding that other people are helping themselves to your good
liquor at BYOB parties?  Take along a candle, which you insert and
light after you ve opened the bottle.  No one ever expects anything
drinkable to be in a bottle which has a candle stuck in its neck.
`,
	`You go down to the pickup station,
	craving warmth and beauty;
You settle for less than fascination --
	a few drinks later you re not so choosy.
And the closing lights strip off the shadows
	on this strange new flesh you ve found --
Clutching the night to you like a fig leaf
	you hurry to the blackness
	and the blankets to lay down an impression
	and your loneliness.
		-- Joni Mitchell
`,
	`(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
(2) Great generals are forewarned.
(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
(4) Four is an even number.
(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
	Therefore, all horses are black.
`,
	`Never be afraid to tell the world who you are.
		-- Anonymous
`,
	`Iowa State -- the high school after high school!
		-- Crow T. Robot
`,
	`[32m《春词》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
新妆宜面下朱楼，深锁春光一院愁。
行到中庭数花朵，蜻蜓飞上玉搔头。
`,
	`Lay off the muses, it s a very tough dollar.
		-- S. J. Perelman
`,
	` Contrariwise,  continued Tweedledee,  if it was so, it might be, and
if it were so, it would be; but as it isn t, it ain t.  That s logic! 
		-- Lewis Carroll,  Through the Looking Glass 
`,
	`Admiration, n.:
	Our polite recognition of another s resemblance to ourselves.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`Operator, please trace this call and tell me where I am.
`,
	` You must have an IQ of at least half a million.   -- Popeye
`,
	`Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everyone in good society holds exactly
the same opinion.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`Parkinson s Fifth Law:
	If there is a way to delay in important decision, the good
	bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
`,
	`Yes, but every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache.
`,
	`Providence, New Jersey, is one of the few cities where Velveeta cheese
appears on the gourmet shelf.
`,
	`Live in a world of your own, but always welcome visitors.
`,
	`Psychologists think they re experimental psychologists.
Experimental psychologists think they re biologists.
Biologists think they re biochemists.
Biochemists think they re chemists.
Chemists think they re physical chemists.
Physical chemists think they re physicists.
Physicists think they re theoretical physicists.
Theoretical physicists think they re mathematicians.
Mathematicians think they re metamathematicians.
Metamathematicians think they re philosophers.
Philosophers think they re gods.
`,
	`Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap pistols;
they may buy shotguns freely, however.
`,
	` Speed is subsittute fo accurancy. 
`,
	`Happiness is a hard disk.
`,
	`It s now the GNU Emacs of all terminal emulators.
		-- Linus Torvalds, regarding the fact that Linux started off as a terminal emulator
`,
	`Any coward can sit in his home and criticize a pilot for flying into a
mountain in a fog.  But I would rather, by far, die on a mountainside
than in bed.  What kind of man would live where there is no daring?
And is life so dear that we should blame men for dying in adventure?
Is there a better way to die?
		-- Charles Lindbergh
`,
	`I sat laughing snidely into my notebook until they showed me a PC running
Linux....  And did this PC choke?  Did it stutter?  Did it, even once,
say that this program has performed an illegal operation and must be shut
down?  No. And this is just on the client.
		-- LAN Times
`,
	`The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by
people who want some.
		-- Dwight MacDonald
`,
	`Is a person who blows up banks an econoclast?
`,
	`If I am elected no one will ever have to do their laundry again!
`,
	`I do hate sums.  There is no greater mistake than to call arithmetic an
exact science.  There are permutations and aberrations discernible to minds
entirely noble like mine; subtle variations which ordinary accountants fail
to discover; hidden laws of number which it requires a mind like mine to
perceive.  For instance, if you add a sum from the bottom up, and then again
from the top down, the result is always different.
		-- Mrs. La Touche
`,
	`My LESLIE GORE record is BROKEN ...
`,
	`And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that
cometh out of man, in their sight...Then he [the Lord!] said unto me, Lo, I
have given thee cow s dung for man s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread
therewith.
[Ezek. 4:12-15 (KJV)]
`,
	`Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
`,
	`Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
		-- Voltaire
`,
	`  After Donald Trump s stretch limousine was stolen and found
  undamaged a few blocks away; he said,  Nothing was stolen. I had
  an honest thief. -International Herald Tribune, page 3, March 2,
  1992
`,
	`I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the demigodic party.
		-- Dennis Ritchie
`,
	`    UNIX Shell is the Best Fourth Generation Programming Language

    It is the UNIX shell that makes it possible to do applications in a small
    fraction of the code and time it takes in third generation languages.  In
    the shell you process whole files at a time, instead of only a line at a
    time.  And, a line of code in the UNIX shell is one or more programs,
    which do more than pages of instructions in a 3GL.  Applications can be
    developed in hours and days, rather than months and years with traditional
    systems.  Most of the other 4GLs available today look more like COBOL or
    RPG, the most tedious of the third generation languages.

 UNIX Relational Database Management:  Application Development in the UNIX
 Environment  by Rod Manis, Evan Schaffer, and Robert Jorgensen.  Prentice
 Hall Software Series.  Brian Kerrighan, Advisor.  1988.
`,
	`See other side for additional listings.
`,
	`Around computers it is difficult to find the correct unit of time to
measure progress.  Some cathedrals took a century to complete.  Can you
imagine the grandeur and scope of a program that would take as long?
		-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
`,
	`Jack-and-Jill Party:
	A Squire tradition; baby showers to which both men and
women friends are invited as opposed to only women.  Doubled
purchasing power of bisexual attendance brings gift values up to
Eisenhower-era standards.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`[32m《渡汉江》[m
[33m作者：李频[m
岭外音书绝，经冬复立春。
近乡情更怯，不敢问来人。
`,
	`	 There s only one kind of woman ... 
	 Or man, for that matter.  You either believe in yourself or you don t. 
		-- Kirk and Harry Mudd,  Mudd s Women , stardate 1330.1
`,
	`The history of warfare is similarly subdivided, although here the phases
are Retribution, Anticipation, and Diplomacy.  Thus:

Retribution:
	I m going to kill you because you killed my brother.
Anticipation:
	I m going to kill you because I killed your brother.
Diplomacy:
	I m going to kill my brother and then kill you on the
	pretext that your brother did it.
`,
	`Ok, I m just uploading the new version of the kernel, v1.3.33, also
known as  the buggiest kernel ever .
		-- Linus Torvalds
`,
	`A squeegee by any other name wouldn t sound as funny.
`,
	`Martin was probably ripping them off.  That s some family, isn t it?
Incest, prostitution, fanaticism, software.
		-- Charles Willeford,  Miami Blues 
`,
	`It is better to remain childless than to father an orphan.
`,
	`The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
		-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
`,
	`If someone says he will do something  without fail , he won t.
`,
	`A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated.  But an authentic soothsayer should
be shot on sight.  Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.
		-- R. A. Heinlein
`,
	`You d like to do it instantaneously, but that s too slow.
`,
	`You can have peace.  Or you can have freedom. Don t ever count on having
both at once.
		-- Lazarus Long
`,
	`Mystics always hope that science will some day overtake them.
		-- Booth Tarkington
`,
	`... eighty years later he could still recall with the young pang of his
original joy his falling in love with Ada.
		-- Nabokov
`,
	`Murphy was an optimist.
`,
	`<SilverStr> media ethics is an oxymoron, much like Jumbo Shrimp and
            Microsoft Works.
<MonkAway> not to mention NT Security
`,
	`You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
`,
	`Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.
		-- Wm. Shakespeare
`,
	`The eagle may soar, but the weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine.
`,
	`Optimism, n.:
	The belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, good,
	bad, and everything right that is wrong.  It is held with greatest
	tenacity by those accustomed to falling into adversity, and most
	acceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile.  Being a blind
	faith, it is inaccessible to the light of disproof -- an intellectual
	disorder, yielding to no treatment but death.  It is hereditary, but
	not contagious.
`,
	`It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion
that makes horse-races.
		-- Mark Twain,  Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar 
`,
	`Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won t see his face.
`,
	`The Fifth Rule:
	You have taken yourself too seriously.
`,
	`[32m题目:《题西林壁》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
横看成岭侧成峰，远近高低各不同。
不识庐山真面目，只缘身在此山中。
`,
	`Perl 5 introduced everything else, including the ability to introduce
everything else.
		-- Larry Wall in <199702252152.NAA28845@wall.org>
`,
	`A girl s best friend is her mutter.
		-- Dorothy Parker
`,
	`critic, n.:
	A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries
	to please him.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery is, if not an antidote,
at least an alleviation.  If you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.
		-- Robert Louis Stevenson: Immortelles
`,
	` The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance.
 He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him.
 But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are
 given to administer we presently imagine we own. 
		-- H. G. Wells
`,
	`	A programmer from a very large computer company went to a software
conference and then returned to report to his manager, saying:  What sort
of programmers work for other companies?  They behaved badly and were
unconcerned with appearances. Their hair was long and unkempt and their
clothes were wrinkled and old. They crashed out hospitality suites and they
made rude noises during my presentation. 
	The manager said:  I should have never sent you to the conference.
Those programmers live beyond the physical world.  They consider life absurd,
an accidental coincidence.  They come and go without knowing limitations.
Without a care, they live only for their programs.  Why should they bother
with social conventions? 
	 They are alive within the Tao. 
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`I m not laughing with you, I m laughing at you.
`,
	`She stood on the tracks
Waving her arms
Leading me to that third rail shock
Quick as a wink
She changed her mind

She gave me a night
That s all it was
What will it take until I stop
Kidding myself
Wasting my time

There s nothing else I can do
 Cause I m doing it all for Leyna
I don t want anyone new
 Cause I m living it all for Leyna
There s nothing in it for you
 Cause I m giving it all to Leyna
		-- Billy Joel,  All for Leyna  (Glass Houses)
`,
	`How apt the poor are to be proud.
		-- William Shakespeare,  Twelfth-Night 
`,
	`Reserve your abuse for your true friends.
		-- Larry Wall in <199712041852.KAA19364@wall.org>
`,
	`Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about
can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.
		-- Lao Tsu
`,
	` Indecision is the basis of flexibility 
		-- button at a Science Fiction convention.
`,
	`No woman can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner.
		-- Lord Thomas Dewar
`,
	`One of the rules of Busmanship, New York style, is never surrender your
seat to another passenger.  This may seem callous, but it is the best
way, really.  If one passenger were to give a seat to someone who fainted
in the aisle, say, the others on the bus would become disoriented and
imagine they were in Topeka Kansas.
`,
	`Given its constituency, the only thing I expect to be  open  about [the
Open Software Foundation] is its mouth.
		-- John Gilmore
`,
	`Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
		-- Frank Lloyd Wright
`,
	`Reality -- what a concept!
		-- Robin Williams
`,
	`transfer, n.:
	A promotion you receive on the condition that you leave town.
`,
	`Dull women have immaculate homes.
`,
	`...cyberpunk wants to see the mind as mechanistic & duplicable,
challenging basic assumptions about the nature of individuality & self.
That seems all the better reason to assume that cyberpunk art & music is
essentially mindless garbagio. Willy certainly addressed this idea in
 Count Zero,  with Katatonenkunst, the automatic box-maker and the girl s
observation that the real art was the building of the machine itself,
rather than its output.
		-- Eliot Handelman
`,
	`One good suit is worth a thousand resumes.
`,
	`A certain monk had a habit of pestering the Grand Tortue (the only one who
had ever reached the Enlightenment  Yond Enlightenment), by asking whether
various objects had Buddha-nature or not.  To such a question Tortue
invariably sat silent.  The monk had already asked about a bean, a lake,
and a moonlit night.  One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and
asked the same question.  In reply, the Grand Tortue grasped the loop
between his feet and, with a few simple manipulations, created a complex
string which he proferred wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk
was enlightened.

From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue.  Instead, he made string after
string by Tortue s method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples,
who passed it on to theirs.
`,
	`If you ve done six impossible things before breakfast, why not round it
off with dinner at Milliway s, the restaurant at the end of the universe?
		-- Douglas Adams,  The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 
`,
	`Bureaucrat, n.:
	A person who cuts red tape sideways.
		-- J. McCabe
`,
	`| |-sshd---tcsh-+-dpkg-buildpacka---rules---sh---make---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make---sh---make
		-- While packaging XFree86 for Debian GNU/Linux
`,
	`FORTRAN?  The syntactically incorrect statement  DO 10 I = 1.10  will parse and
generate code creating a variable, DO10I, as follows:  DO10I = 1.10   If that
doesn t terrify you, it should.
`,
	`Real Users never use the Help key.
`,
	`  If I could drop dead right now, I d be the happiest man alive!
		-- Samuel Goldwyn
`,
	`The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don t want, drink what
you don t like, and do what you d rather not.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`The best defense against logic is ignorance.
`,
	`if (rsfp = mypopen( /bin/mail root , w )) {     /* heh, heh */
		-- Larry Wall in perl.c from the perl source code
`,
	` In corporate life, I think there are three important areas which contracts
can t deal with, the area of conflict, the area of change and area of reaching
potential.  To me a covenant is a relationship that is based on such things
as shared ideals and shared value systems and shared ideas and shared
agreement as to the processes we are going to use for working together.  In
many cases they develop into real love relationships. 
-- Max DePree, chairman and CEO of Herman Miller Inc.,  Herman Miller s
   Secrets of Corporate Creativity , The Wall Street Journal, May 3, 1988
`,
	`The King and his advisor are overlooking the battle field:

King:		 How goes the battle plan? 
Advisor:	 See those little black specks running to the right? 
K:	 Yes. 
A:	 Those are their guys. And all those little red specks running
	to the left are our guys. Then when they collide we wait till
	the dust clears. 
K:	 And? 
A:	 If there are more red specks left than black specks, we win. 
K:	 But what about the ^#!!$% battle plan? 
A:	 So far, it seems to be going according to specks. 
`,
	`Don t hit a man when he s down -- kick him; it s easier.
`,
	`I couldn t possibly fail to disagree with you less.
`,
	`Backed up the system lately?
`,
	` I d love to go out with you, but I have to floss my cat. 
`,
	`user, n.:
	The word computer professionals use when they mean  idiot. 
		-- Dave Barry,  Claw Your Way to the Top 

[I always thought  computer professional  was the phrase hackers used
 when they meant  idiot.   Ed.]
`,
	`<Mercury> Someone fix it.
<Despair> committed
<Knghtbrd> Despair: Mercury?
<Despair> Knghtbrd: he s tired, made a mistake, wanted someone to undo it.
<Knghtbrd> Despair: so you had him committed?
<Despair> Knghtbrd: well, dedicated anyways.
`,
	`The reason I like hitching a ride on strict vars is that it cuts down
the number of rarely used pragmas people have to remember, yet provides
a way to get to the point where we might, just maybe, someday, make
local lexicals the default for everyone, without having useless pragmas
wandering around various programs, or using up another bit in $^H.
		-- Larry Wall in <199710050130.SAA04762@wall.org>
`,
	`Alliance:  In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their
hands so deeply inserted in each other s pocket that they cannot separately
plunder a third.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Bing s Rule:
	Don t try to stem the tide -- move the beach.
`,
	`Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as
it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.
`,
	`IBM:
	[International Business Machines Corp.]  Also known as Itty Bitty
	Machines or The Lawyer s Friend.  The dominant force in computer
	marketing, having supplied worldwide some 75% of all known hardware
	and 10% of all software.  To protect itself from the litigious envy
	of less successful organizations, such as the US government, IBM
	employs 68% of all known ex-Attorneys  General.
`,
	` Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound! 
		-- Daniel Hinojosa (hinojosa@hp-sdd)
`,
	`When the sun shineth, make hay.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`What they said:
	What they meant:

 I recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever. 
	(Yes, that about sums it up.)
 The amount of mathematics she knows will surprise you. 
	(And I recommend not giving that school a dime...)
 I simply can t say enough good things about him. 
	(What a screw-up.)
 I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine. 
	(I can t tell you how happy I am that she left our firm.)
 When this person left our employ, we were quite hopeful he would go
a long way with his skills. 
	(We hoped he d go as far as possible.)
 You won t find many people like her. 
	(In fact, most people can t stand being around her.)
 I cannot recommend him too highly. 
	(However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
	 felony in my presence.)
`,
	` The road to hell is paved with melting snowballs. 
		-- Larry Wall in  <1992Jul2.222039.26476@netlabs.com>
`,
	`The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later
you re hungry again.
		-- George Miller
`,
	`Disillusioned words like bullets bark,
As human gods aim for their mark,
Make everything from toy guns that spark
To flesh-colored christs that glow in the dark.
It s easy to see without looking too far
That not much is really sacred.
		-- Bob Dylan
`,
	`If you had just a minute to breathe,
And they granted you one final wish,
Would you ask for something
Like another chance?
		-- Traffic,  The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys 
`,
	`I m sorry if the following sounds combative and excessively personal,
but that s my general style.        -- Ian Jackson
`,
	`Griffin s Thought:
	When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
`,
	`... Any resemblance between the above views and those of my employer,
my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental.  Any
resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic.  The
question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them
is left as an exercise for the reader.  The question of the existence of
the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient.  (A
discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope
of this article.)
`,
	`The most exquisite peak in culinary art is conquered when you do right by a
ham, for a ham, in the very nature of the process it has undergone since last
it walked on its own feet, combines in its flavor the tang of smoky autumnal
woods, the maternal softness of earthy fields delivered of their crop children,
the wineyness of a late sun, the intimate kiss of fertilizing rain, and the
bite of fire.  You must slice it thin, almost as thin as this page you hold
in your hands.  The making of a ham dinner, like the making of a gentleman,
starts a long, long time before the event.
		-- W. B. Courtney,  Reflections of Maryland Country Ham ,
		   from  Congress Eate It Up 
`,
	`[32m《出塞》[m
[33m作者：王之涣[m
黄河远上白云间，一片孤城万仞山。
羌笛何须怨杨柳，春风不度玉门关。
`,
	` World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world
conquerors. 
		--  The Outer Limits: The Invisibles 
`,
	`	If you rap your knuckles against a window jamb or door, if you
brush your leg against a bed or desk, if you catch your foot in a curled-
up corner of a rug, or strike a toe against a desk or chair, go back and
repeat the sequence.
	You will find yourself surprised how far off course you were to
hit that window jamb, that door, that chair.  Get back on course and do it
again.  How can you pilot a spacecraft if you can t find your way around
your own apartment?
		-- William S. Burroughs
`,
	`I can t complain, but sometimes I still do.
		-- Joe Walsh
`,
	`Real Programmers don t write in FORTRAN.  FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and
crystallography weenies.  FORTRAN is for wimp engineers who wear white socks.
`,
	`I love treason but hate a traitor.
		-- Gaius Julius Caesar
`,
	`Progress might have been all right once, but it s gone on too long.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	` The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while
the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one. 
		-- William Stekel
`,
	`You have only to mumble a few words in church to get married and few words
in your sleep to get divorced.
`,
	`Kitchen activity is highlighted.  Butter up a friend.
`,
	`Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.
		-- Muad dib [Frank Herbert,  Dune ]
`,
	`Kids always brighten up a house; mostly by leaving the lights on.
`,
	`At some point, bits have to go into packets and routers need to make
decisions on them. Changes at that level is what I want to hear about, not
strategic company relationships.
		-- John Carmack
`,
	`Black Holes:
	An X generation subgroup best known for their possession of
almost entirely black wardrobes.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`All phone calls are obscene.
		-- Karen Elizabeth Gordon
`,
	`Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
		-- Kahlil Gibran
`,
	`Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who
will get the blame.
		-- Laurence J. Peter
`,
	` And what do you two think you are doing?!  roared the husband, as he came
upon his wife in bed with another man.  The wife turned and smiled at her
companion.

 See?  she said.   I told you he was stupid! 
`,
	`[32m《夜归鹿门山歌》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
山寺钟鸣昼已昏，渔梁渡头争渡喧。
人随沙路向江姑，余亦乘舟归鹿门。
鹿门月照开烟树，忽到庞公栖隐处。
岩扉松径长寂寥，惟有幽人自来去。
`,
	`If you are not for yourself, who will be for you?
If you are for yourself, then what are you?
If not now, when?
`,
	`Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail your friends.
`,
	`(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
(2) Great generals are forewarned.
(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
(4) Four is an even number.
(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
	Therefore, all horses are black.
`,
	`FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN:	#17

Shoes:
	 The average man has 4 pairs of footwear: running shoes, dress shoes,
boots, and slippers.  The average woman has shoes 4 layers thick on the floor
of her closet.  Most of them hurt her feet.

Making friends:
	 A woman will meet another woman with common interests, do a few things
together, and say something like,  I hope we can be good friends. 
	A man will meet another man with common interests, do a few things
together, and say nothing.  After years of interacting with this other man,
sharing hopes and fears that he wouldn t confide in his priest or
psychiatrist, he ll finally let down his guard in a fit of drunken
sentimentality and say something like,  You know, for someone who s such a
jerk, I guess you re OK. 
`,
	`	 Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here. 
	 You admit that? 
	 To deny the facts would be illogical, Doctor 
		-- Spock and McCoy,  A Piece of the Action , stardate unknown
`,
	`I accept chaos.  I am not sure whether it accepts me.  I know some people
are terrified of the bomb.  But then some people are terrified to be seen
carrying a modern screen magazine.  Experience teaches us that silence
terrifies people the most.
		-- Bob Dylan
`,
	`- DDD no longer requires the librx library.  Consequently, librx
  errors can no more cause DDD to crash.
		-- DDD
`,
	`Go on, EMOTE!  I was RAISED on thought balloons!!
`,
	`This is the ____LAST time I take travel suggestions from Ray Bradbury!
`,
	`I m definitely not in Omaha!
`,
	`You will be the victim of a bizarre joke.
`,
	`If I don t drive around the park,
I m pretty sure to make my mark.
If I m in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again.
If I abstain from fun and such,
I ll probably amount to much;
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.
		-- Dorothy Parker
`,
	`Kime s Law for the Reward of Meekness:
	Turning the other cheek merely ensures two bruised cheeks.
`,
	`That s the funniest thing I ve ever heard and I will _not_ condone it.
		-- DyerMaker, 17 March 2000 MegaPhone radio show
`,
	`Black Holes:
	An X generation subgroup best known for their possession of
almost entirely black wardrobes.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`<Dr^Nick> SGI_Multitexture is bad voodoo now
<Dr^Nick> ARB is good voodoo
<witten> no, voodoo rush is bad voodoo :)
`,
	`The tao that can be tar(1)ed
is not the entire Tao.
The path that can be specified
is not the Full Path.

We declare the names
of all variables and functions.
Yet the Tao has no type specifier.

Dynamically binding, you realize the magic.
Statically binding, you see only the hierarchy.

Yet magic and hierarchy
arise from the same source,
and this source has a null pointer.

Reference the NULL within NULL,
it is the gateway to all wizardry.
`,
	`Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.
		-- Roy L. Ash, ex-president, Litton Industries
`,
	`	To lose weight, eat less; to gain weight, eat more; if you merely
wish to maintain, do whatever you were doing.
	The Bronx diet is a legitimate system of food therapy showing that
food SHOULD be used a crutch and which food could be the most effective in
promoting spiritual and emotional satisfaction.  For the first time, an
eater could instantly grasp the connection between relieving depression and
Mallomars, and understand why a lover s quarrel isn t so bad if there s a
pint of ice cream nearby.
		-- Richard Smith,  The Bronx Diet 
`,
	`//GO.SYSIN DD *, DOODAH, DOODAH
`,
	`Why are there always boycotts?  Shouldn t there be girlcotts too?
		-- argon on #Linux
`,
	`  I distinctly remember forgetting that. -Clara Barton
`,
	`Too Late
	A large number of turkies [sic] went to San Francisco yesterday by
the two o clock boats.  If their object in going down was to participate in
the Thanksgiving festivities of that city, they would arrive  the day after
the affair,  and of course be sadly disappointed thereby.
		-- Sacramento Daily Union, November 29, 1861
`,
	`The only person who always got his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
`,
	`Come on, Virginia, don t make me wait!
Catholic girls start much too late,
Ah, but sooner or later, it comes down to fate,
I might as well be the one.
Well, they showed you a statue, told you to pray,
Built you a temple and locked you away,
Ah, but they never told you the price that you paid,
The things that you might have done.
So come on, Virginia, show me a sign,
Send up a signal, I ll throw you a line,
That stained glass curtain that you re hiding behind,
Never lets in the sun.
Darling, only the good die young!
		-- Billy Joel,  Only The Good Die Young 
`,
	`Every one says that politicians lie all the time, and that just isn t so!
But you do have to understand body language to know when they re lying and
when they aren t.

	When a politician rubs his nose, he isn t lying.
	When a politician tugs on his ear, he isn t lying.
	When a politician scratches his collar bone, he isn t lying.
	When his mouth starts moving, that s when he s lying!
`,
	`Measure twice, cut once.
`,
	` We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call
free enterprise,  said Cash McCall,  but when one of our citizens
show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do
our best to make him feel that he ought to be ashamed of himself. 
		-- Cameron Hawley
`,
	`Now I know someone out there is going to claim,  Well then, UNIX is intuitive,
because you only need to learn 5000 commands, and then everything else follows
from that! Har har har! 
(Andy Bates in comp.os.linux.misc, on  intuitive interfaces , slightly
defending Macs.)
`,
	`A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many
bad measures.
		-- Daniel Webster
`,
	`I am a bookaholic.  If you are a decent person, you will not sell me
another book.
`,
	`You will live to see your grandchildren.
`,
	`* o-o always like debmake because he knew exactly what it would do...
<ibid> o-o: you would ;-)
`,
	`Political history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to
teach children.
		-- W. H. Auden
`,
	`Fat Liberation: because a waist is a terrible thing to mind.
`,
	`Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations

	Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner:
		Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles!
		Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet
		behind, flee then to the indifferent lifesaveringshippen
		obedicing the instructs of the vessel.

	On the door in a Belgrade hotel:
		Let us know about any unficiency as well as leaking on
		the service. Our utmost will improve it.

		-- Colin Bowles
`,
	`HOORAY, Ronald!!  Now YOU can marry LINDA RONSTADT too!!
`,
	`Tempt not a desperate man.
		-- William Shakespeare,  Romeo and Juliet 
`,
	`List at least two alternate dates.
`,
	`The cost of feathers has risen, even down is up!
`,
	`You would if you could but you can t so you won t.
`,
	`FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN:	#2

Desserts:
	A woman will generally admire an ornate dessert for the artistic
work it is, praising its creator and waiting a suitable interval before
she reluctantly takes a small sliver off one edge.  A man will start by
grabbing the cherry in the center.

Car repair:
	The average man thinks his Y chromosome contains complete repair
manuals for every car made since World War II.  He will work on a problem
himself until it either goes away or turns into something that  can t be
fixed without special tools .
	The average woman thinks  that funny thump-thump noise  is an
accurate description of an automotive problem.  She will, however, have the
car serviced at the proper intervals and thereby incur fewer problems than
the average man.
`,
	`Love your enemies: they ll go crazy trying to figure out what you re up to.
`,
	`Dreams are free, but you get soaked on the connect time.
`,
	`The man who understands one woman is qualified to understand pretty well
everything.
		-- Yeats
`,
	`Excusing bad programming is a shooting offence, no matter _what_ the
circumstances.
		-- Linus Torvalds, to the linux-kernel list
`,
	`Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last
you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his
Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
		-- Mark Twain  A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur s Court 
`,
	`Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
		-- W. C. Fields
`,
	`* Knghtbrd is FAR too tempted to .sig this entire discussion...
`,
	`Don t mind him; politicians always sound like that.
`,
	`Gold, n.:
	A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution.  It
	is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich
	men who immediately bury it back in the earth in great prisons,
	although gold hasn t done anything to them.
		-- Mike Harding,  The Armchair Anarchist s Almanac 
`,
	`To a New Yorker, the only California houses on the market for less than a
million dollars are those on fire.  These generally go for six hundred
thousand.
		-- From  East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts
`,
	` Were there no women, men might live like gods. 
		-- Thomas Dekker
`,
	` Little prigs and three-quarter madmen may have the conceit that the laws of
nature are constantly broken for their sakes. 
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
`,
	`War is peace.  Freedom is slavery.  Ketchup is a vegetable.
`,
	`I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
`,
	`A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the
seed from which other committees will bloom.
		-- Parkinson
`,
	`Hey! now!  Come hoy now!  Whither do you wander?
Up, down, near or far, here, there or yonder?
Sharp-ears, Wise-nose, Swish-tail and Bumpkin,
White-socks my little lad, and old Fatty Lumpkin!
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`May s Law:
	The quality of correlation is inversly proportional to the density
	of control.  (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.)
`,
	`	A hard-luck actor who appeared in one coloossal disaster after another
finally got a break, a broken leg to be exact.  Someone pointed out that it s
the first time the poor fellow s been in the same cast for more than a week.
`,
	`Haste makes waste.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take.  This
is untrue.  Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the
last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn t give
enough.
		-- Quentin Crisp,  How to Become a Virgin 
`,
	`Mr. Cole s Axiom:
	The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant;
	the population is growing.
`,
	`There is hardly a thing in the world that some man can not make a little
worse and sell a little cheaper.
`,
	`Rattling around the back of my head is a disturbing image of something I
saw at the airport ... Now I m remembering, those giant piles of computer
magazines right next to  People  and  Time  in the airport store.  Does
it bother anyone else that half the world is being told all of our hard-won
secrets of computer technology?  Remember how all the lawyers cried foul
when  How to Avoid Probate  was published?  Are they taking no-fault
insurance lying down?  No way!  But at the current rate it won t be long
before there are stacks of the  Transactions on Information Theory  at the
A&P checkout counters.  Who s going to be impressed with us electrical
engineers then?  Are we, as the saying goes, giving away the store?
		-- Robert W. Lucky, IEEE President
`,
	`A Hollywood producer calls a friend, another producer on the phone.
	 Hello?  his friend answers.
	 Hi!  says the man.   This is Bob, how are you doing? 
	 Oh,  says the friend,  I m doing great!  I just sold a screenplay
for two hundred thousand dollars.  I ve started a novel adaptation and the
studio advanced me fifty thousand dollars on it.  I also have a television
series coming on next week, and everyone says it s going to be a big hit!
I m doing *great*!  How are you? 
	 Okay,  says the producer,  give me a call when he leaves. 
`,
	`But like the Good Book says... There s BIGGER DEALS to come!
`,
	`He who has but four and spends five has no need for a wallet.
`,
	`Wernher von Braun settled for a V-2 when he coulda had a V-8.
`,
	`1: No code table for op: ++post
`,
	`  Why don t you pair  em up in threes? -Yogi Berra
`,
	`The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub.
`,
	`<Kethryvis> Gruuk: UFies are above and beyond the human race :)
`,
	`Does not include installation.
`,
	`You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
`,
	` See - the thing is - I m an absolutist.  I mean, kind of ... in a way ... 
`,
	`Making one brilliant decision and a whole bunch of mediocre ones isn t as
good as making a whole bunch of generally smart decisions throughout the
whole process.
		-- John Carmack
`,
	`If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any
connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of
religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and
superficial answer is not far to seek....
The cause lay largely in the diversity and vitality of the various
denominations, each fairly sure that, with a fair field and no favor,
it could make its own way; and each animated by a jealous fear that,
if any connection of State and Church were permitted, some rival
denomination would get an unfair advantage.
- John Dewey (1859-1953), American philosopher,
  from  Democracy in the Schools , 1908
`,
	`Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
`,
	`The universe is ruled by letting things take their course.  It cannot be
ruled by interfering.
		-- Chinese proverb
`,
	`Green light in A.M. for new projects.  Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.
`,
	`Wanna tell you all a story  bout a man named Jed,
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
But then one day he was shootin  at some food,
When up through the ground come a bubblin  crude -- oil, that is;
	black gold;  Texas tea  ...

Well the next thing ya know, old Jed s a millionaire.
The kinfolk said,  Jed, move away from there! 
They said,  Californy is the place ya oughta be ,
So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly -- Hills, that is;
	swimmin  pools; movie stars.
`,
	`It s clever, but is it art?
`,
	`Not a flying toy.
`,
	`Established technology tends to persist in the face of new technology.
		-- G. Blaauw, one of the designers of System 360
`,
	`Let s just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again.
`,
	`The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
`,
	`I only know what I read in the papers.
		-- Will Rogers
`,
	`You can measure a programmer s perspective by noting his attitude on
the continuing viability of FORTRAN.
		-- Alan Perlis
`,
	`Fascinating, a totally parochial attitude.
		-- Spock,  Metamorphosis , stardate 3219.8
`,
	`Time to be aggressive.  Go after a tattooed Virgo.
`,
	`If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.
`,
	`The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.
		-- F. Dostoyevski
`,
	`Software is like sex, it s better when it s free.     -- Linus Torvalds
`,
	`[32m《旅宿》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
旅馆无良伴，凝情自悄然。
寒灯思旧事，断雁警愁眠。
远梦归侵晓，家书到隔年。
沧江好烟月，门系钓鱼船。
`,
	`A real diplomat is one who can cut his neighbor s throat without having
his neighbour notice it.
		-- Trygve Lie
`,
	` Laugh while you can, monkey-boy. 
		-- Dr. Emilio Lizardo
`,
	`I KAISER ROLL?!  What good is a Kaiser Roll without a little COLE SLAW
on the SIDE?
`,
	`... bacteriological warfare ... hard to believe we were once foolish
enough to play around with that.
		-- McCoy,  The Omega Glory , stardate unknown
`,
	`I never thought that I d see the day where Netscape is free software and
X11 is proprietary.  We live in interesting times.
		-- Matt Kimball <mkimball@xmission.com>
`,
	`Even in the moment of our earliest kiss,
When sighed the straitened bud into the flower,
Sat the dry seed of most unwelcome this;
And that I knew, though not the day and hour.
Too season-wise am I, being country-bred,
To tilt at autumn or defy the frost:
Snuffing the chill even as my fathers did,
I say with them,  What s out tonight is lost. 
I only hoped, with the mild hope of all
Who watch the leaf take shape upon the tree,
A fairer summer and a later fall
Than in these parts a man is apt to see,
And sunny clusters ripened for the wine:
I tell you this across the blackened vine.
		-- Edna St. Vincent Millay,  Even in the Moment of
		   Our Earliest Kiss , 1931
`,
	`Paul s Law:
	You can t fall off the floor.
`,
	`> I m an idiot..  At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
Surely, Linus is talking about the kind of idiocy that others aspire to :-).
		-- Bruce Perens in response to Linus Torvalds s
`,
	`Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.
		-- R. S. Barton
`,
	`30 day money back guarantee minus shipping, 10% restocking charge, and 7%
cancellation charge.
`,
	`Real programmers don t write in BASIC.  Actually, no programmers write in
BASIC after reaching puberty.
`,
	`When all else fails, read the instructions.
`,
	` Oh, he [a big dog] hunts with papa,  she said.  He says Don Carlos [the
dog] is good for almost every kind of game.  He went duck hunting one time
and did real well at it.  Then Papa bought some ducks, not wild ducks but,
you know, farm ducks.  And it got Don Carlos all mixed up.  Since the
ducks were always around the yard with nobody shooting at them he knew he
wasn t supposed to kill them, but he had to do something.  So one morning
last spring, when the ground was still soft, he took all the ducks and
buried them.    What do you mean, buried them?    Oh, he didn t hurt them.
He dug little holes all over the yard and picked up the ducks in his mouth
and put them in the holes.  Then he covered them up with mud except for
their heads.  He did thirteen ducks that way and was digging a hole for
another one when Tony found him.  We talked about it for a long time.  Papa
said Don Carlos was afraid the ducks might run away, and since he didn t
know how to build a cage he put them in holes.  He s a smart dog. 
		-- R. Bradford,  Red Sky At Morning 
`,
	`Yow!  Now we can become alcoholics!
`,
	`> I m an idiot..  At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
We need to find some new terms to describe the rest of us mere mortals
then.
		-- Craig Schlenter in response to Linus Torvalds s
`,
	`The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.
		-- J. P. Getty
`,
	`<pretzelgod> knghtbrd: Quake should support xray vision, dammit
<knghtbrd> pretzelgod: ftp://ftp.cdrom.com/pub/quake/partial_conversions/
           xrated/i_am_old_enough_to_look_at_this
<knghtbrd> ... you asked ...
<CosmicRay> haha, that is a real directory
`,
	`After an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found
on the bench.
`,
	`theory, n.:
	System of ideas meant to explain something, chosen with a view to
	originality, controversialism, incomprehensibility, and how good
	it will look in print.
`,
	`<knghtbrd> it s too bad most ancient unices are y2k compliant
<|Rain|> too bad?
<|Rain|> why, because people won t upgrade until 2038?
`,
	`Perfection is achieved only on the point of collapse.
		-- C. N. Parkinson
`,
	` For the man who has everything... Penicillin. 
		-- F. Borquin
`,
	`Don t stop to stomp ants when the elephants are stampeding.
`,
	`If you are too busy to read, then you are too busy.
`,
	`No lifeguard on duty.
`,
	`if (instr(buf,sys_errlist[errno]))  /* you don t see this */
		-- Larry Wall in eval.c from the perl source code
`,
	`At the end of your life there ll be a good rest, and no further activities
are scheduled.
`,
	`  Honk if you are against noise pollution!
`,
	`<BenC> cerb: we subscribed you to debian-fight as the moderator
<BenC> cerb: list rules are, 1) no nice emails, 2) no apologies
`,
	`    ***
  *******
 *********
 ****** Confucious say:  Is stuffy inside fortune cookie. 
  *******
    ***
`,
	`The two things that can get you into trouble quicker than anything else
are fast women and slow horses.
`,
	`Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born
to people you could not have possibly met.
		-- Fran Lebowitz,  Social Studies 
`,
	`Don t get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
`,
	`Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
`,
	` I got a question for ya.  Ya got a minute? 
		-- two programmers passing in the hall
`,
	`Preserve wildlife -- pickle a squirrel today!
`,
	`The two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs.
		-- G. B. Shaw
`,
	` Force is but might,  the teacher said--
 That definition s just. 
The boy said naught but thought instead,
Remembering his pounded head:
 Force is not might but must! 
`,
	`I lay my head on the railroad tracks,
Waitin  for the double E.
The railroad don t run no more.
Poor poor pitiful me.			[chorus]
	Poor poor pitiful me, poor poor pitiful me.
	These young girls won t let me be,
	Lord have mercy on me!
	Woe is me!

Well, I met a girl, West Hollywood,
Well, I ain t naming names.
But she really worked me over good,
She was just like Jesse James.
She really worked me over good,
She was a credit to her gender.
She put me through some changes, boy,
Sort of like a Waring blender.		[chorus]

I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar,
She asked me if I d beat her.
She took me back to the Hyatt House,
I don t want to talk about it.		[chorus]
		-- Warren Zevon,  Poor Poor Pitiful Me 
`,
	`If you have nothing to do, don t do it here.
`,
	`Some people have a great ambition: to build something
that will last, at least until they ve finished building it.
`,
	`Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.
		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
`,
	`We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should
govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the
center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major
prophet, nor Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual
concerns, to say nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get
Christians to agree among themselves about their relationship to God.
But all will agree on a proposition that they possess profound spiritual
resources.  If, in addition, we can get them to accept the further
proposition that whatever form the Deity may have in their own theology,
the Deity is not only external, but internal and acts through them, and
they themselves give proof or disproof of the Deity in what they do and
think; if this further proposition can be accepted, then we come that
much closer to a truly religious situation on earth.
		-- Norman Cousins, from his book  Human Options 
`,
	`A successful [software] tool is one that was used to do something
undreamed of by its author.
		-- S. C. Johnson
`,
	`Make headway at work.  Continue to let things deteriorate at home.
`,
	`There are four stages to a marriage.  First there s the affair, then there s
the marriage, then children and finally the fourth stage, without which you
cannot know a woman, the divorce.
		-- Norman Mailer
`,
	`The average woman must inevitably view her actual husband with a certain
disdain; he is anything but her ideal.  In consequence, she cannot help
feeling that her children are cruelly handicapped by the fact that he is
their father.
		-- H. L. Mencken
`,
	` If you lived today as if it were your last, you d buy up a box of rockets and
fire them all off, wouldn t you? 
		-- Garrison Keillor
`,
	`Holiday and other blackout periods apply.
`,
	`Life is like a diaper -- short and loaded.
`,
	`I m totally DESPONDENT over the LIBYAN situation and the price of CHICKEN ...
`,
	`Paprika Measure:
	2 dashes    ==  1 smidgen
	2 smidgens  ==  1 pinch
	3 pinches   ==  1 soupcon
	2 soupcons  ==  2 much paprika
`,
	`Simplify

If we could discard knowledge and wisdom
Then people would profit a hundredfold;
If we could discard duty and justice
Then harmonious relationships would form;
If we could discard artifice and profit
Then waste and theft would disappear.
Yet such remedies treat only symptoms
And so they are inadequate.
People need personal remedies:
Reveal your naked self and embrace your original nature;
Bind your self-interest and control your ambition;
Forget your habits and simplify your affairs.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Software entities are more complex for their size than perhaps any other human
construct because no two parts are alike.  If they are, we make the two
similar parts into a subroutine -- open or closed.  In this respect, software
systems differ profoundly from computers, buildings, or automobiles, where
repeated elements abound.
		-- Fred Brooks, Jr.
`,
	` Text processing has made it possible to right-justify any idea, even
one which cannot be justified on any other grounds. 
		-- J. Finnegan, USC.
`,
	`When a fellow says,  It ain t the money but the principle of the thing, 
it s the money.
		-- Kim Hubbard
`,
	`It s a funny thing that when a woman hasn t got anything
on earth to worry about, she goes off and gets married.
`,
	`Don t get even -- get odd!
`,
	`It s appositival, if it s there.  And it doesn t have to be there.
And it s really obvious that it s there when it s there.
		-- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>
`,
	`Did I do an INCORRECT THING??
`,
	`[32m《送友人》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
`,
	` slackware users don t matter. in my experience, slackware users are
either clueless newbies who will have trouble even with tar, or they are
rabid do-it-yourselfers who wouldn t install someone else s pre-compiled
binary even if they were paid to do it. 
`,
	`It s a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it s a depression
when you lose yours.
		-- Harry S. Truman
`,
	`Come, muse, let us sing of rats!
		-- From a poem by James Grainger, 1721-1767
`,
	`There comes a time to stop being angry.
		-- A Small Circle of Friends
`,
	`* SynrG notes that the number of configuration questions to answer in
  sendmail is NON-TRIVIAL
`,
	`Imbesi s Law with Freeman s Extension:
	In order for something to become clean, something else must
	become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting
	anything clean.
`,
	`Only a fool has no doubts.
`,
	`We cannot command nature except by obeying her.
		-- Sir Francis Bacon
`,
	`If two wrongs don t make a right, try three.
		-- Laurence J. Peter
`,
	`<Phase> no... I musn t have any more coffee !!! ;)
<Simunye> sure yu do Phase :)
<Phase> you really want me bouncing off the ceiling?
<Simunye> yesh :)
<kira_> bouncing off the ceiling is gewd
<Phase> ok, that was a silly question
<kira_> it s splatting on the floor that s the problem.
`,
	`[32m《渔翁》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
渔翁夜傍西岩宿，晓汲清湘燃楚竹。
烟销日出不见人，ꆼ乃一声山水绿。
回看天际下中流，岩上无心云相逐。
`,
	`All I kin say is when you finds yo self wanderin  in a peach orchard,
ya don t go lookin  for rutabagas.
		-- Kingfish
`,
	`There s nothing to writing.  All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.
		-- Red Smith
`,
	`Need

Is the action of nature not unlike drawing a bow?
What is higher is pulled down, and what is lower is raised up;
What is taller is shortened, and what is thinner is broadened;
Nature s motion decreases those who have more than they need
And increases those who need more than they have.
It is not so with Man.
Man decreases those who need more than they have
And increases those who have more than they need.
To give away what you do not need is to follow the Way.
So the sage gives without expectation,
Accomplishes without claiming credit,
And has no desire for ostentation.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Subject to change without notice.
`,
	`I want a WESSON OIL lease!!
`,
	`I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the double lock will keep;
May no brick through the window break,
And, no one rob me till I awake.
`,
	`Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.
		-- Buckaroo Bonzai
`,
	` Rembrandt s first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it. 
		-- Dave Barry
`,
	`Lawrence Radiation Laboratory keeps all its data in an old gray trunk.
`,
	`To err is human, to forgive, beyond the scope of the Operating System.
`,
	`One good turn usually gets most of the blanket.
`,
	`Life is like a tin of sardines.  We re, all of us, looking for the key.
		-- Beyond the Fringe
`,
	`You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
`,
	`Suicide is simply a case of mistaken identity.
`,
	`> (It s sorta like sed, but not.  It s sorta like awk, but not.  etc.)
Guilty as charged.  Perl is happily ugly, and happily derivative.
		-- Larry Wall in <1992Aug26.184221.29627@netlabs.com>
`,
	`[32m《金陵酒肆留别》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
风吹柳花满店香，吴姬压酒唤客尝。
金陵子弟来相送，欲行不行各尽觞。
请君试问东流水，别意与之谁短长。
`,
	`Preudhomme s Law of Window Cleaning:
	It s on the other side.
`,
	`I never met a piece of chocolate I didn t like.
`,
	`Recent research has tended to show that the Abominable No-Man
is being replaced by the Prohibitive Procrastinator.
		-- C. N. Parkinson
`,
	`Seek for the Sword that was broken:
In Imladris it dwells;
There shall be counsels taken
Stronger than Morgul-spells.

There shall be shown a token
That Doom is near at hand,
For Isildur s Bane shall waken,
And the Halfling forth shall stand.
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`A child of five could understand this!  Fetch me a child of five.
`,
	`The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
		-- American proverb
`,
	`It s not whether you win or lose, it s how you look playing the game.
`,
	`Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions:

We can imagine no reason why, with ordinary care, human toes could not be
left out of chewing tobacco, and if toes are found in chewing tobacco, it
seems to us that someone has been very careless.
		-- 78 So. 365.
`,
	`I have a theory that it s impossible to prove anything, but I can t prove it.
`,
	`The man on tops walks a lonely street; the  chain  of command is often a noose.
`,
	`Individualists unite!
`,
	`Children begin by loving their parents.  After a time they judge them.  Rarely,
if ever, do they forgive them.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`Stenderup s Law:
	The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
`,
	`Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.
		-- William Shakespeare,  The Rape of Lucrece 
`,
	`<sel> need help: my first packet to my provider gets lost :-(
<netgod> sel:  dont send the first one, start with #2
`,
	`I ve touch d the highest point of all my greatness;
And from that full meridian of my glory
I haste now to my setting.  I shall fall,
Like a bright exhalation in the evening
And no man see me more.
		-- Shakespeare
`,
	`Hey, wait a minute!!  I want a divorce!! ... you re not Clint Eastwood!!
`,
	`I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow--
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller, like an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes gets so little that there s none of him at all.
		-- R. L. Stevenson
`,
	`Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.
		-- Publilius Syrus
`,
	`<Deek> That reminds me, we ll need to buy a chainsaw for the office.  In
       case of emergency, break glass 
`,
	`The idle mind knows not what it is it wants.
		-- Quintus Ennius
`,
	`This must be morning.  I never could get the hang of mornings.
`,
	`I watch television because you don t know what it will do if you leave it
in the room alone.
`,
	`You will experience a strong urge to do good; but it will pass.
`,
	`Fortune s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #37:

Q:  Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A:  No.
Q:  What was he doing with the dog s ears?
A:  Picking them up in the air.
Q:  Where was the dog at this time?
A:  Attached to the ears.
`,
	`The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt.
		-- William Shakespeare,  Love s Labour s Lost 
`,
	`Many people are unenthusiastic about their work.
`,
	`Genuine happiness is when a wife sees a double chin on her husband s
old girl friend.
`,
	`  An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out. -Arthur Baer,
  American comic and columnist
`,
	`Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of
blue denim.  If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys
like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim.  I don t enjoy the sky
or sea as much as I used to because of this Levi character.  If Jesus Christ
came back today, He and I would get into our brown corduroys and go to the
nearest jean store and overturn the racks of blue denim.  Then we d get
crucified in the morning.
		-- Ian Anderson, of Jethro Tull
`,
	`I haven t lost my mind -- it s backed up on tape somewhere.
`,
	`Lonely men seek companionship.  Lonely women sit at home and wait.
They never meet.
`,
	`Cerebus:	I d love to lick apricot brandy out of your navel.
Jaka:		Look, Cerebus-- Jaka has to tell you ... something
Cerebus:	If Cerebus had a navel, would you lick apricot brandy out of it?
Jaka:		Ugh!
Cerebus:	You don t like apricot brandy?
		-- Cerebus #6,  The Secret 
`,
	`Misery no longer loves company.  Nowadays it insists on it.
		-- Russell Baker
`,
	`<mjg59> Damnit. I ve got a month to write a paper. This involves
        actually writing the chunks of code I m going to be talking
        about.
<asuffield> find a bunch of students and give it to them as an exercise
<mjg59> asuffield: I m surrounded by a bunch of students. Last time I
        let them touch code, I came back and found they d rewritten
        all the C++ code in C and all the C code in C++
<asuffield> mwahaha
<mjg59> AND BROKE THE BUILD
`,
	`Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again.
		-- Lazarus Long,  Time Enough for Love 
`,
	`I went to the race track once and bet on a horse that was so good that
it took seven others to beat him!
`,
	` I saw _Lassie_. It took me four shows to figure out why the hairy kid never
spoke. I mean, he could roll over and all that, but did that deserve a series? 
		-- the alien guy, in _Explorers_
`,
	`I ll show you MY telex number if you show me YOURS ...
`,
	`Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
`,
	`It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood
Boulevard at one time.
`,
	`Don t plan any hasty moves.  You ll be evicted soon anyway.
`,
	`You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess.
`,
	`Main s Law:
	For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
`,
	`Well, we re big rock singers, we ve got golden fingers,
And we re loved everywhere we go.
We sing about beauty, and we sing about truth,
At ten thousand dollars a show.
We take all kind of pills to give us all kind of thrills,
But the thrill we ve never known,
Is the thrill that ll get cha, when you get your picture,
On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

I got a freaky old lady, name of Cole King Katie,
Who embroiders on my jeans.
I got my poor old gray-haired daddy,
Drivin  my limousine.
Now it s all designed, to blow our minds,
But our minds won t be really be blown;
Like the blow that ll get cha, when you get your picture,
On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

We got a lot of little, teen-aged, blue-eyed groupies,
Who ll do anything we say.
We got a genuine Indian guru, that s teachin  us a better way.
We got all the friends that money can buy,
So we never have to be alone.
And we keep gettin  richer, but we can t get our picture,
On the cover of the Rolling Stone.
		-- Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show
		[As a note, they eventually DID make the cover of RS. Ed.]
`,
	`The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be
in inverse proportion to the sum involved.
		-- C. N. Parkinson
`,
	`	The FIELD GUIDE to NORTH AMERICAN MALES

SPECIES:	Cranial Males
SUBSPECIES:	The Hacker (homo computatis)
Description:
	Gangly and frail, the hacker has a high forehead and thinning hair.
	Head disproportionately large and crooked forward, complexion wan and
	sightly gray from CRT illumination.  He has heavy black-rimmed glasses
	and a look of intense concentration, which may be due to a software
	problem or to a pork-and-bean breakfast.
Feathering:
	HOMO COMPUTATIS saw a Brylcreem ad fifteen years ago and believed it.
	Consequently, crest is greased down, except for the cowlick.
Song:
	A rather plaintive  Is it up? 
`,
	`Air pollution is really making us pay through the nose.
`,
	`Execution

If people were not afraid of death,
Then what would be the use of an executioner?
If people were only afraid of death,
And you executed everyone who did not obey,
No one would dare to disobey you.
Then what would be the use of an executioner?
People fear death because death is an instrument of fate.
When people are killed by execution rather than by fate,
This is like carving wood in the place of a carpenter.
Those who carve wood in place of a carpenter
Often injure their hands.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Something must be Done
This is Something
Therefore, This must be Done
		-- The Thatcherite Syllogism
`,
	` No matter where you go, there you are... 
		-- Buckaroo Banzai
`,
	`* dpkg hands stu a huge glass of vbeer
* Joey takes the beer from stu, you re too young ;)
* Cylord takes the beer from Joey, you re too drunk.
* Cylord gives the beer to muggles.
`,
	`Weinberg s Principle:
	An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while
	sweeping on to the grand fallacy.
`,
	`	THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #18: FIFTH

FIFTH is a precision mathematical language in which the data types
refer to quantity.  The data types range from CC, OUNCE, SHOT, and
JIGGER to FIFTH (hence the name of the language), LITER, MAGNUM and
BLOTTO.  Commands refer to ingredients such as CHABLIS, CHARDONNAY,
CABERNET, GIN, VERMOUTH, VODKA, SCOTCH, and WHATEVERSAROUND.

The many versions of the FIFTH language reflect the sophistication and
financial status of its users.  Commands in the ELITE dialect include
VSOP and LAFITE, while commands in the GUTTER dialect include HOOTCH
and RIPPLE. The latter is a favorite of frustrated FORTH programmers
who end up using this language.
`,
	`It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
`,
	`Maybe it s time to break that.
		-- Larry Wall in <199710311718.JAA19082@wall.org>
`,
	`Unix soit qui mal y pense
	[Unix to him who evil thinks?]
`,
	`Reactor error - core dumped!
`,
	`Huh?
`,
	`I will not forget you.
`,
	`For a young man, not yet: for an old man, never at all.
		-- Diogenes, asked when a man should marry

When should a man marry?  A young man, not yet; an elder man, not at all.
		-- Sir Francis Bacon,  Of Marriage and Single Life 
`,
	`Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.
		-- Josh Billings
`,
	`Space is big.  You just won t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly
big it is.  I mean, you may think it s a long way down the road to the
drug store, but that s just peanuts to space.
		-- The Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy
`,
	`The makers may make
and the users may use,
but the fixers must fix
with but minimal clues
`,
	`Control

The Way flows and ebbs, creating and destroying,
Implementing all the world, attending to the tiniest details,
Claiming nothing in return.
It nurtures all things,
Though it does not control them;
It has no intention,
So it seems inconsequential.
It is the substance of all things;
Though it does not control them;
It has no exception,
So it seems all-important.
The sage would not control the world;
He is in harmony with the world.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on,
so I woke up from sheer boredom.
`,
	`The fellow sat down at a bar, ordered a drink and asked the bartender if he
wanted to hear a dumb-jock joke.
	 Hey, buddy,  the bartender replied,  you see those two guys next to
you?  They used to be with the Chicago Bears.  The two dudes behind you made
the U.S. Olympic wrestling team.  And for your information, I used to play
center at Notre Dame. 
	 Forget it,  the customer said.   I don t want to explain it five
times. 
`,
	`Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
		-- Charlie McCarthy
`,
	`Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
`,
	`<rcw> dark: caldera?
<Knghtbrd> rcw - that s not a distribution, it s a curse
<rcw> Knghtbrd: it s a cursed distribution
`,
	`History repeats itself only if one does not listen the first time.
`,
	`The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of.
		-- Blaise Pascal
`,
	`There was an old Indian belief that by making love on the hide of
their favorite animal, one could guarantee the health and prosperity
of the offspring conceived thereupon.  And so it goes that one Indian
couple made love on a buffalo  hide.  Nine months later, they were
blessed with a healthy baby son.  Yet another couple huddled together
on the hide of a deer and they too were blessed with a very healthy
baby son.  But a third couple, whose favorite animal was a hippopotamus,
were blessed with not one, but TWO very healthy baby sons at the conclusion
of the nine month interval.  All of which proves the old theorem that:
The sons of the squaw of the hippopotamus are equal to the sons of
the squaws of the other two hides.
`,
	`I went home with a waitress,
The way I always do.
How I was I to know?
She was with the Russians too.

I was gambling in Havana,
I took a little risk.
Send lawyers, guns, and money,
Dad, get me out of this.
		-- Warren Zevon,  Lawyers, Guns and Money 
`,
	`When you said  HEAVILY FORESTED  it reminded me of an overdue CLEANING
BILL ... Don t you SEE?  O Grogan SWALLOWED a VALUABLE COIN COLLECTION
and HAD to murder the ONLY MAN who KNEW!!
`,
	`What we do not understand we do not possess.
		-- Goethe
`,
	`===  ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE  ========================

Compiler optimizations have been made to macro expand LET into a WITHOUT-
INTERRUPTS special form so that it can PUSH things into a stack in the
LET-OPTIMIZATION area, SETQ the variables and then POP them back when it s
done.  Don t worry about this unless you use multiprocessing.
Note that LET *could* have been defined by:

	(LET ((LET   (LET ((LET  ,LET))
			,LET)))
	 (LET ((LET  ,LET))
		,LET))

This is believed to speed up execution by as much as a factor of 1.01 or
3.50 depending on whether you believe our friendly marketing representatives.
This code was written by a new programmer here (we snatched him away from
Itty Bitti Machines where he was writing COUGHBOL code) so to give him
confidence we trusted his vows of  it works pretty well  and installed it.
`,
	`	 Has anyone had problems with the computer accounts? 
	 Yes, I don t have one. 
	 Okay, you can send mail to one of the tutors ... 
		-- E. D Azevedo, Computer Science 372
`,
	`The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for
experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute
for intelligence.
		-- Lyman Bryson
`,
	`UH-OH!!  I put on  GREAT HEAD-ON TRAIN COLLISIONS of the 50 s  by
mistake!!!
`,
	`bozone, n.:
	The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
`,
	`	 I thought you were trying to get into shape. 
	 I am. The shape I ve selected is a triangle. 
`,
	`And did those feet, in ancient times,
Walk upon England s mountains green?
And was the Holy Lamb of God
In England s pleasant pastures seen?
And did the Countenance Divine
Shine forth upon these crowded hills?
And was Jerusalem builded here
Among these dark satanic mills?

Bring me my bow of burning gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my spears!  O clouds unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire!
I shall not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall my sword rest in my hand,
Till we have built Jerusalem
In England s green and pleasant land.
		-- William Blake,  Jerusalem 
`,
	`Take Care of the Molehills, and the Mountains Will Take Care of Themselves.
		-- Motto of the Federal Civil Service
`,
	`FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #12

O.E.D.:				David Lean, 1969, 3 hours 30 min.

	Lean s version of the Oxford Dictionary has been accused of
	shallowness in its treatment of a complete work.  Omar Sharif
	tends to overact as aardvark, but Alec Guiness is solid in
	the role of abbacy.  As usual, the photography is stunning.
	With Julie Christie.
`,
	`A Hen Brooding Kittens
	A friend informs us that he saw at the Novato ranch, Marin county,
a few days since, a hen actually brooding and otherwise caring for three
kittens!  The gentleman upon whose premises this strange event is transpiring
says the hen adopted the kittens when they were but a few days old, and that
she has devoted them her undivided care for several weeks past.  The young
felines are now of respectable size, but they nevertheless follow the hen at
her cluckings, and are regularly brooded at night beneath her wings.
		-- Sacramento Daily Union, July 2, 1861
`,
	`District of Columbia pedestrians who leap over passing autos to escape
injury, and then strike the car as they come down, are liable for any
damage inflicted on the vehicle.
`,
	`Maybe we could paint GOLDIE HAWN a rich PRUSSIAN BLUE --
`,
	`Let the meek inherit the earth -- they have it coming to them.
		-- James Thurber
`,
	`Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
`,
	`... or were you driving the PONTIAC that HONKED at me in MIAMI last Tuesday?
`,
	` When you say  I wrote a program that crashed Windows , people just stare at
you blankly and say  Hey, I got those with the system, *for free* . 
(By Linus Torvalds)
`,
	`If you want your program to be readable, consider supplying the argument.
		-- Larry Wall in the perl man page
`,
	`Think twice before speaking, but don t say  think think click click .
`,
	`OK, enough hype.
		-- Larry Wall in the perl man page
`,
	`A book is the work of a mind, doing its work in the way that a mind deems
best.  That s dangerous.  Is the work of some mere individual mind likely to
serve the aims of collectively accepted compromises, which are known in the
schools as  standards ?  Any mind that would audaciously put itself forth to
work all alone is surely a bad example for the students, and probably, if
not downright antisocial, at least a little off-center, self-indulgent,
elitist.  ... It s just good pedagogy, therefore, to stay away from such
stuff, and use instead, if film-strips and rap-sessions must be
supplemented,  texts,  selected, or prepared, or adapted, by real
professionals.  Those texts are called  reading material.   They are the
academic equivalent of the  listening material  that fills waiting-rooms,
and the  eating material  that you can buy in thousands of convenient eating
resource centers along the roads.
		-- The Underground Grammarian
`,
	`Dear Emily:
	I saw a long article that I wish to rebut carefully, what should
I do?
		-- Angry

Dear Angry:
	Include the entire text with your article, and include your comments
between the lines.  Be sure to post, and not mail, even though your article
looks like a reply to the original.  Everybody *loves* to read those long
point-by-point debates, especially when they evolve into name-calling and
lots of  Is too!  --  Is not!  --  Is too, twizot!  exchanges.
		-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
`,
	`WARNING!!!
This machine is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need.

A special circuit in the machine called  critical detector  senses the
operator s emotional state in terms of how desperate he/she is to use the
machine.  The  critical detector  then creates a malfunction proportional
to the desperation of the operator.  Threatening the machine with violence
only aggravates the situation.  Likewise, attempts to use another machine
may cause it to malfunction.  They belong to the same union.  Keep cool
and say nice things to the machine.  Nothing else seems to work.

See also: flog(1), tm(1)
`,
	`<Knghtbrd> glDisable (GL_BUGS);
<Endy> heh
<Endy> Is that in 1.2? :)
`,
	`Woodward s Law:
	A theory is better than its explanation.
`,
	`Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
		-- Samuel Goldwyn
`,
	`I hope you millionaires are having fun!  I just invested half your life
savings in yeast!!
`,
	`Mitchell s Law of Committees:
	Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are
	held to discuss it.
`,
	`Everything you know is wrong!
`,
	` Twas midnight, and the UNIX hacks
Did gyre and gimble in their cave
All mimsy was the CS-VAX
And Cory raths outgrabe.

 Beware the software rot, my son!
The faults that bite, the jobs that thrash!
Beware the broken pipe, and shun
The frumious system crash! 
`,
	`purpitation, n.:
	To take something off the grocery shelf, decide you
	don t want it, and then put it in another section.
		--  Sniglets , Rich Hall & Friends
`,
	`Everything will be just tickety-boo today.
`,
	`There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.
		-- Darth Vader
`,
	` Show business is just like high school, except you get paid. 
		-- Martin Mull
`,
	`My, how you ve changed since I ve changed.
`,
	`When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his
mind wonderfully.
		-- Samuel Johnson
`,
	`One of the saddest lessons of history is this:  If we ve been bamboozled
long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle.  We re no
longer interested in finding out the truth.  The bamboozle has captured
us.  it is simply too painful to acknowledge -- even to ourselves -- that
we ve been so credulous.  (So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the
new bamboozles rise.)
		-- Carl Sagan,  The Fine Art of Baloney Detection,  Parade, February 1, 1987
`,
	`If all else fails, lower your standards.
`,
	`You know my heart keeps tellin  me,
You re not a kid at thirty-three,
You play around you lose your wife,
You play too long, you lose your life.
Some gotta win, some gotta lose,
Goodtime Charlie s got the blues.
`,
	`How apt the poor are to be proud.
		-- William Shakespeare,  Twelfth-Night 
`,
	`You re at Witt s End.
`,
	`TANSTAAFL
`,
	`Rubber bands have snappy endings!
`,
	`H. L. Mencken s Law:
	Those who can -- do.
	Those who can t -- teach.

Martin s Extension:
	Those who cannot teach -- administrate.
`,
	`He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
`,
	`$100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become $100,000, at
which time it will be worth absolutely nothing.
		-- Lazarus Long,  Time Enough for Love 
`,
	`I do not know where to find in any literature, whether ancient or modern,
any adequate account of that nature with which I am acquainted.  Mythology
comes nearest to it of any.
		-- Henry David Thoreau
`,
	`	 That unit is a woman. 
	 A mass of conflicting impulses. 
		-- Spock and Nomad,  The Changeling , stardate 3541.9
`,
	`	 But I don t want to go on the cart... 
	 Oh, don t be such a baby! 
	 But I m feeling much better... 
	 No you re not... in a moment you ll be stone dead! 
		-- Monty Python,  The Holy Grail 
`,
	`Q:	What s a WASP s idea of open-mindedness?
A:	Dating a Canadian.
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
A: He didn t offer me nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.
`,
	`Drop in any mailbox.
`,
	`But it s real.  And if it s real it can be affected ...  we may not be able
to break it, but, I ll bet you credits to Navy Beans we can put a dent in it.
		-- deSalle,  Catspaw , stardate 3018.2
`,
	`Man has never reconciled himself to the ten commandments.
`,
	`The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time.  The
terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	`If I m over the hill, why is it I don t recall ever being on top?
		-- Jerry Muscha
`,
	`Coach: How s it going, Norm?
Norm:  Daddy s rich and Momma s good lookin .
		-- Cheers, Truce or Consequences

Sam:   What s up, Norm?
Norm:  My nipples.  It s freezing out there.
		-- Cheers, Coach Returns to Action

Coach: What s the story, Norm?
Norm:  Thirsty guy walks into a bar.  You finish it.
		-- Cheers, Endless Slumper
`,
	`Decision maker, n.:
	The person in your office who was unable to form a task force
	before the music stopped.
`,
	`A woman should have compassion.
		-- Kirk,  Catspaw , stardate 3018.2
`,
	`What, still alive at twenty-two,
A clean upstanding chap like you?
Sure, if your throat  tis hard to slit,
Slit your girl s, and swing for it.
Like enough, you won t be glad,
When they come to hang you, lad:
But bacon s not the only thing
That s cured by hanging from a string.
So, when the spilt ink of the night
Spreads o er the blotting pad of light,
Lads whose job is still to do
Shall whet their knives, and think of you.
		-- Hugh Kingsmill
`,
	`RAM wasn t built in a day.
`,
	`The whole earth is in jail and we re plotting this incredible jailbreak.
		-- Wavy Gravy
`,
	`While you re chewing, think of STEVEN SPIELBERG S bank account ...  his
will have the same effect as two  STARCH BLOCKERS !
`,
	`Youth -- not a time of life but a state of mind... a predominance of
courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over the love of ease.
		-- Robert F. Kennedy
`,
	`I don t know why we re here, I say we all go home and free associate.
`,
	`Go on, EMOTE!  I was RAISED on thought balloons!!
`,
	`Tsort s Constant:
	1.67563, or precisely 1,237.98712567 times the difference between
the distance to the sun and the weight of a small orange.
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Light Fantastic  (slightly modified)
`,
	` All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific. 
		-- Jane Wagner
`,
	`Musical Hairsplitting:
	The act of classifying music and musicians into pathologically
picayune categories:  The Vienna Franks are a good example of urban
white acid fold revivalism crossed with ska. 
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`Of what you see in books, believe 75%.  Of newspapers, believe 50%.  And of
TV news, believe 25% -- make that 5% if the anchorman wears a blazer.
`,
	`Old Mother Hubbard lived in a shoe,
She had so many children,
She didn t know what to do.
So she moved to Atlanta.
`,
	`When the wind is great, bow before it;
when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
`,
	`If you analyse anything, you destroy it.
		-- Arthur Miller
`,
	`If I had a Q-TIP, I could prevent th  collapse of NEGOTIATIONS!!
`,
	`Potahto  Pictures Productions Presents:

	THE TATERNATOR: Cyborg spud returns from the future to present-day
McDonald s restaurant to kill the potatoess (girl  tater) who will give birth
to the world s largest french fry (The Dark Powers of Burger King are clearly
behind this).  Most quotable line:  Ah ll be baked... 

	A FISTFUL OF FRIES: Western in which our hero, The Spud with No Name,
rides into a town that s deprived of carbohydrates thanks to the evil takeover
of the low-cal Scallopinni Brothers.  Plenty of smokeouts, fry-em-ups, and
general butter-melting by all.

	FOR A FEW FRIES MORE: Takes up where AFOF left off!  Cameo by Walter
Cronkite, as every man s common  tater!
`,
	`He s been like a father to me,
He s the only DJ you can get after three,
I m an all-night musician in a rock and roll band,
And why he don t like me I don t understand.
		-- The Byrds
`,
	`America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism
to decadence without touching civilization.
		-- John O Hara
`,
	`Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.
		-- Herbert Hoover
`,
	`Speer s 1st Law of Proofreading:
	The visibility of an error is inversely proportional to the
	number of times you have looked at it.
`,
	`Substantial risk of electric shock.
`,
	`If God is One, what is bad?
		-- Charles Manson
`,
	`	One of the questions that comes up all the time is: How enthusiastic
is our support for UNIX?
	Unix was written on our machines and for our machines many years ago.
Today, much of UNIX being done is done on our machines. Ten percent of our
VAXs are going for UNIX use.  UNIX is a simple language, easy to understand,
easy to get started with. It s great for students, great for somewhat casual
users, and it s great for interchanging programs between different machines.
And so, because of its popularity in these markets, we support it.  We have
good UNIX on VAX and good UNIX on PDP-11s.
	It is our belief, however, that serious professional users will run
out of things they can do with UNIX. They ll want a real system and will end
up doing VMS when they get to be serious about programming.
	With UNIX, if you re looking for something, you can easily and quickly
check that small manual and find out that it s not there.  With VMS, no matter
what you look for -- it s literally a five-foot shelf of documentation -- if
you look long enough it s there.  That s the difference -- the beauty of UNIX
is it s simple; and the beauty of VMS is that it s all there.
		-- Ken Olsen, president of DEC, DECWORLD Vol. 8 No. 5, 1984
[It s been argued that the beauty of UNIX is the same as the beauty of Ken
Olsen s brain.  Ed.]
`,
	`Q:	Why don t lawyers go to the beach?
A:	The cats keep trying to bury them.
`,
	`<Overfiend_> Overfiend s First Law of Package Quality: If the
             maintainer likes to spell part or all of his name in
             CAPS, the package will suck.
`,
	`Boys are beyond the range of anybody s sure understanding, at least
when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.
		-- James Thurber
`,
	`To stand and be still,
At the Birkenhead drill,
Is a damned tough bullet to chew.
		-- Rudyard Kipling
`,
	`Into love and out again,
	Thus I went and thus I go.
Spare your voice, and hold your pen:
	Well and bitterly I know
All the songs were ever sung,
	All the words were ever said;
Could it be, when I was young,
	Someone dropped me on my head?
		-- Dorothy Parker,  Theory 
`,
	`Said the attractive, cigar-smoking housewife to her girl-friend:  I got
started one night when George came home and found one burning in the ashtray. 
`,
	`Green s Law of Debate:
	Anything is possible if you don t know what you re talking about.
`,
	`The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.
		-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981
`,
	`Woke up this mornin  an  I had myself a beer,
Yeah, Ah woke up this mornin  an  I had myself a beer
The future s uncertain and the end is always near.
		-- Jim Morrison,  Roadhouse Blues 
`,
	`	Obviously the subject of death was in the air, but more as something
to be avoided than harped upon.
	Possibly the horror that Zaphod experienced at the prospect of being
reunited with his deceased relatives led on to the thought that they might
just feel the same way about him and, what s more, be able to do something
about helping to postpone this reunion.
		-- Douglas Adams
`,
	`All men know the utility of useful things;
but they do not know the utility of futility.
		-- Chuang-tzu
`,
	`* liw prefers not to have Linus run Debian, because then /me would
  have to run Red Hat, just to keep the power balance :)
		-- #Debian
`,
	`No running on pool deck.
`,
	`For a young man, not yet: for an old man, never at all.
		-- Diogenes, asked when a man should marry

When should a man marry?  A young man, not yet; an elder man, not at all.
		-- Sir Francis Bacon,  Of Marriage and Single Life 
`,
	`For office use only.
`,
	`A Severe Strain on the Credulity
	As a method of sending a missile to the higher, and even to the
highest parts of the earth s atmospheric envelope, Professor Goddard s rocket
is a practicable and therefore promising device. It is when one considers the
multiple-charge rocket as a traveler to the moon that one begins to doubt...
for after the rocket quits our air and really starts on its journey, its
flight would be neither accelerated nor maintained by the explosion of the
charges it then might have left.  Professor Goddard, with his  chair  in
Clark College and countenancing of the Smithsonian Institution, does not
know the relation of action to re-action, and of the need to have something
better than a vacuum against which to react... Of course he only seems to
lack the knowledge ladled out daily in high schools.
		-- New York Times Editorial, 1920
`,
	`Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western
	Civilization?
Gandhi:	I think it would be a good idea.
`,
	`<Endy> knghtbrd: QW s netcode is doing strange things to me. :P
<knghtbrd> This is unusual?  ;>
<Endy> Not really. :P
`,
	` We don t have to protect the environment -- the Second Coming is at hand. 
		-- James Watt
`,
	`The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest is held ever year at San Jose State
Univ.  by Professor Scott Rice.  It is held in memory of Edward George
Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873), a rather prolific and popular (in his
time) novelist.  He is best known today for having written  The Last
Days of Pompeii. 

Whenever Snoopy starts typing his novel from the top of his doghouse,
beginning  It was a dark and stormy night...  he is borrowing from Lord
Bulwer-Lytton.  This was the line that opened his novel,  Paul Clifford, 
written in 1830.  The full line reveals why it is so bad:

	It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents -- except
	at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of
	wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene
	lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty
	flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
`,
	`When it is incorrect, it is, at least *authoritatively* incorrect.
		-- Hitchiker s Guide To The Galaxy
`,
	`[32m题目:《活水亭观书有感》[m
[33m作者:朱熹（１１３０－１２００）[m
半亩方塘一鉴开，天光云影共徘徊。
问渠那得清如许，为有源头活水来。
`,
	`Why are you watching
The washing machine?
I love entertainment
So long as it s clean.

Professor Doberman:
	While the preceding poem is unarguably a change from the guarded
pessimism of  The Hound of Heaven,  it cannot be regarded as an unqualified
improvement.  Obscurity is of value only when it tends to clarify the poetic
experience.  As much as one is compelled to admire the poem s technique, one
must question whether its byplay of complex literary allusions does not in
fact distract from the unity of the whole.  In the final analysis, one
receives the distinct impression that the poem s length could safely have
been reduced by a factor of eight or ten without sacrificing any of its
meaning.  It is to be hoped that further publication of this poem can be
suspended pending a thorough investigation of its potential subversive
implications.
`,
	`The secret of happiness is total disregard of everybody.
`,
	`Would a giant, profit-oriented cartel lie to you?
		-- Top Ten List, Late Night with David Letterman
`,
	`Being a mime means never having to say you re sorry.
`,
	`No, I m not going to explain it.  If you can t figure it out, you didn t
want to know anyway...  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <1991Aug7.180856.2854@netlabs.com>
`,
	`> This made me wonder, suddenly: can telnet be written in perl?
Of course it can be written in Perl.  Now if you d said nroff,
that would be more challenging...   -- Larry Wall
`,
	`At Group L, Stoffel oversees six first-rate programmers, a managerial
challenge roughly comparable to herding cats.
		-- The Washington Post Magazine, 9 June, 1985
`,
	`Comedy, like Medicine, was never meant to be practiced by the general public.
`,
	`Be valiant, but not too venturous.
Let thy attire be comely, but not costly.
		-- John Lyly
`,
	`I thought my people would grow tired of killing.  But you were right,
they see it is easier than trading.  And it has its pleasures.  I feel
it myself.  Like the hunt, but with richer rewards.
		-- Apella,  A Private Little War , stardate 4211.8
`,
	`The people sensible enough to give good advice are usually sensible
enough to give none.
`,
	`Flattery will get you everywhere.
`,
	`Ginsburg s Law:
	At the precise moment you take off your shoe in a shoe store, your
	big toe will pop out of your sock to see what s going on.
`,
	`The Bible on letters of reference:

	Are we beginning all over again to produce our credentials?  Do
we, like some people, need letters of introduction to you, or from you?
No, you are all the letter we need, a letter written on your heart; any
man can see it for what it is and read it for himself.
		-- 2 Corinthians 3:1-2, New English translation
`,
	`Falling in love is a lot like dying.  You never get to do it enough to
become good at it.
`,
	`They took some of the Van Goghs, most of the jewels, and all of the Chivas!
`,
	`Finally, Zippy drives his 1958 RAMBLER METROPOLITAN into the faculty
dining room.
`,
	`[32m题目:《怀渑池寄子瞻兄》[m
[33m作者:苏辙（１０３９－１１１２）[m
相携话别郑原上，共道长途怕雪泥。
归骑还寻大梁陌，行人已度古崤西。
曾为县吏民知否？旧宿僧房壁共题。
遥想独游佳味少，无方骓马但鸣嘶。
`,
	`Mr. Rockford?  You don t know me, but I d like to hire you.  Could
you call me at...  My name is... uh...  Never mind, forget it!
		--  The Rockford Files 
`,
	`[32m《送李端》[m
[33m作者：卢伦[m
故关衰草遍，离别正堪悲。
路出寒云外，人归暮雪时。
少孤为客早，多难识君迟。
掩泣空相向，风尘何所期。
`,
	`Men of peace usually are [brave].
		-- Spock,  The Savage Curtain , stardate 5906.5
`,
	`If you write something wrong enough, I ll be glad to make up a new
witticism just for you.
		-- Larry Wall in <199702221943.LAA20388@wall.org>
`,
	`Real computer scientists only write specs for languages that might run
on future hardware.  Nobody trusts them to write specs for anything homo
sapiens will ever be able to fit on a single planet.
`,
	`Remove me from this land of slaves,
Where all are fools, and all are knaves,
Where every knave and fool is bought,
Yet kindly sells himself for nought;
		-- Jonathan Swift
`,
	`BAD CRAZINESS, MAN!!!
`,
	`Writing software is more fun than working.
`,
	`Great Moments in History: #3

August 27, 1949:
	A Hall of Fame opened to honor outstanding members of the
	Women s Air Corp.  It was a WAC s Museum.
`,
	`	The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff
in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.  Everybody but one girl
laughed uproariously.   What s the matter?  grumbled the boss.  Haven t you
got a sense of humor? 
	 I don t have to laugh,  she said.   I m leaving Friday anyway.
`,
	`Meekness:  Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`The bomb will never go off.  I speak as an expert in explosives.
		-- Admiral William Leahy, U.S. Atomic Bomb Project
`,
	`* Knghtbrd pelts wichert with NERF darts
* wichert notes there are no ICBM nerfs yet and ignores kngtbrd
<Knghtbrd> wichert - just wait, after seeing the NERF gatling guns, ICBMs
           are not far off (just pump the damned thing for an hour or two
           is all...)
`,
	`		     THE  FUN WITH USENET  MANIFESTO
Very little happens on Usenet without some sort of response from some other
reader.  Fun With Usenet postings are no exception.  Since there are some who
might question the rationale of some of the excerpts included therein, I have
written up a list of guidelines that sum up the philosophy behind these
postings.

	One.  I never cut out words in the middle of a quote without a VERY
good reason, and I never cut them out without including ellipses.  For
instance,  I am not a goob  might become  I am ... a goob , but that s too
mundane to bother with.   I m flame proof  might (and has) become
 I m ...a... p...oof  but that s REALLY stretching it.

	Two.  If I cut words off the beginning or end of a quote, I don t
put ellipses, but neither do I capitalize something that wasn t capitalized
before the cut.  I don t think that the Church of Ubizmo is a wonderful
place  would turn into  the Church of Ubizmo is a wonderful place .  Imagine
the posting as a tape-recording of the poster s thoughts.  If I can set
up the quote via fast-forwarding and stopping the tape, and without splicing,
I don t put ellipses in.  And by the way, I love using this mechanism for
turning things around.  If you think something stinks, say so - don t say you
don t think it s wonderful.   ...
		-- D. J. McCarthy (dmccart@cadape.UUCP)
`,
	`My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people s.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a deal faster.
		-- The Duchess,  Through the Looking Glass 
`,
	`A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
`,
	`The linuX Files -- The Source is Out There.
		-- Sent in by Craig S. Bell, goat@aracnet.com
`,
	`You re a card which will have to be dealt with.
`,
	`I m hungry, time to eat lunch.
`,
	`Telephone, n.:
	An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages
	of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Bug, n.:
	An aspect of a computer program which exists because the
	programmer was thinking about Jumbo Jacks or stock options when s/he
	wrote the program.

Fortunately, the second-to-last bug has just been fixed.
		-- Ray Simard
`,
	`The Marines:
	The few, the proud, the not very bright.
`,
	`Swerve me?  The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails,
whereon my soul is grooved to run.  Over unsounded gorges, through
the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents  beds, unerringly I rush!
		-- Captain Ahab,  Moby Dick 
`,
	`Acquaintance, n:
	A person whom we know well enough to borrow from but not well
	enough to lend to.  A degree of friendship called slight when the
	object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	` In regards to Oral Roberts  claim that God told him that he would die unless he
 received $20 million by March, God s lawyers have stated that their client has
 not spoken with Roberts for several years.  Off the record, God has stated that
  If I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago. 
		-- Dennis Miller, SNL News
`,
	`Beware of geeks bearing graft.
`,
	`When things go well, expect something to explode, erode, collapse or
just disappear.
`,
	`Immortality consists largely of boredom.
		-- Zefrem Cochrane,  Metamorphosis , stardate 3219.8
`,
	`write-protect tab, n.:
	A small sticker created to cover the unsightly notch carelessly left
	by disk manufacturers.  The use of the tab creates an error message
	once in a while, but its aesthetic value far outweighs the momentary
	inconvenience.
		-- Robb Russon
`,
	`A fool must now and then be right by chance.
`,
	`Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?
`,
	`Don t steal... the IRS hates competition!
`,
	`The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed
ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
		-- F. Scott Fitzgerald
`,
	`QOTD:
	 I m not really for apathy, but I m not against it either... 
`,
	`We are all dying -- and we re gonna be dead for a long time.
`,
	`We were so poor that we thought new clothes meant someone had died.
`,
	`The perfect friend sees the best in you -- sees it constantly -- not just
when you occasionally are that way, but also when you waver, when you
forget yourself, act like less than you are. In time, you become more
like his vision of you -- which is the person you have always wanted to be.
		-- Nancy Friday
`,
	`He who laughs, lasts.
`,
	`[32m《杂诗》[m
[33m作者：无名氏[m
近寒食雨草萋萋，著麦苗风柳映堤。
等是有家归未得，杜鹃休向耳边啼。
`,
	`He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly
delightful.
		-- Sydney Smith
`,
	`Variables don t; constants aren t.
`,
	`			Chapter 1

The story so far:

	In the beginning the Universe was created.  This has made a lot
of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
		-- Douglas Adams, HHGG #2, (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe).
`,
	`[32m题目:《与薛肇明弈棋赌梅花诗输一首》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
华发寻春喜见梅，一株临路雪倍堆。
凤城南陌他年忆，香杳难随驿使来。
`,
	`We really don t have any enemies.  It s just that some of our best
friends are trying to kill us.
`,
	`How many priests are needed for a Boston Mass?
`,
	`I want a VEGETARIAN BURRITO to go ... with EXTRA MSG!!
`,
	`The Ranger isn t gonna like it, Yogi.
`,
	`	 The pyramid is opening! 
	 Which one? 
	 The one with the ever-widening hole in it! 
		-- Firesign Theater,  How Can You Be In Two Places At
		   Once When You re Not Anywhere At All 
`,
	`When the Universe was not so out of whack as it is today, and all the
stars were lined up in their proper places, you could easily count them
from left to right, or top to bottom, and the larger and bluer ones were
set apart, and the smaller yellowing types pushed off to the corners as
bodies of a lower grade ...
		-- Stanislaw Lem,  Cyberiad 
`,
	`Perhaps they will have to outlaw sending random lists of words.  fee fie
foe foo [sic]
		-- Larry Wall in <199710311916.LAA19760@wall.org>
`,
	`Nuclear powered vacuuum cleaners will probably be a reality within 10 years.
		-- Alex Lewyt (President of the Lewyt Corporation,
		   manufacturers of vacuum cleaners), quoted in The New York
		   Times, June 10, 1955.
`,
	`Be self-reliant and your success is assured.
`,
	`Some days you wake and immediately start worrying.  Nothing in
particular is wrong, it s just the suspicion that forces are aligning
quietly and there will be trouble.
		--  Survival Series , Jenny Holzer
`,
	`I ll burn my books.
		-- Christopher Marlowe
`,
	`Linus  Law:
	There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
`,
	` MSDOS didn t get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years
of careful development. 
(By dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca)
`,
	`Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
specification is that it should run noiselessly.
`,
	`I think your opinions are reasonable, except for the one about my mental
instability.
		-- Psychology Professor, Farifield University
`,
	`To err is human -- to blame it on a computer is even more so.
`,
	`Famous, adj.:
	Conspicuously miserable.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`I did cancel one performance in Holland where they thought my music was so easy
that they didn t rehearse at all.  And so the first time when I found that out,
I rehearsed the orchestra myself in front of the audience of 3,000 people and
the next day I rehearsed through the second movement -- this was the piece
_Cheap Imitation_ -- and they then were ashamed.  The Dutch people were ashamed
and they invited me to come to the Holland festival and they promised to
rehearse.  And when I got to Amsterdam they had changed the orchestra, and
again, they hadn t rehearsed.  So they were no more prepared the second time
than they had been the first.  I gave them a lecture and told them to cancel
the performance; they then said over the radio that i had insisted on their
cancelling the performance because they were  insufficiently Zen. 
Can you believe it?
		-- composer John Cage,  Electronic Musician  magazine, March 88, pg. 89
`,
	`What the deuce is it to me?  You say that we go around the sun.  If we went
around the moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or my work.
		-- Sherlock Holmes,  A Study in Scarlet 
`,
	`Place me on a BUFFER counter while you BELITTLE several BELLHOPS in the
Trianon Room!!  Let me one of your SUBSIDIARIES!
`,
	`One of the reasons Perl is faster than certain other unnamed interpreted
languages is that it binds variable names to a particular package (or
scope) at compile time rather than at run time.
		-- Larry Wall in <199709050035.RAA29328@wall.org>
`,
	`	THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #14 -- VALGOL

	VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the
industry.  VALGOL commands include REALLY, LIKE, WELL, and Y*KNOW.
Variables are assigned with the =LIKE and =TOTALLY operators.  Other
operators include the  California booleans , AX and NOWAY.  Loops are
accomplished with the FOR SURE construct.  A simple example:

	LIKE, Y*KNOW(I MEAN)START
	IF PIZZA	=LIKE BITCHEN AND
	GUY		=LIKE TUBULAR AND
	VALLEY GIRL	=LIKE GRODY**MAX(FERSURE)**2
	THEN
		FOR I =LIKE 1 TO OH*MAYBE 100
			DO*WAH - (DITTY**2); BARF(I)=TOTALLY GROSS(OUT)
		SURE
	LIKE, BAG THIS PROGRAM; REALLY; LIKE TOTALLY(Y*KNOW); IM*SURE
	GOTO THE MALL

	VALGOL is also characterized by its unfriendly error messages.  For
example, when the user makes a syntax error, the interpreter displays the
message GAG ME WITH A SPOON!  A successful compile may be termed MAXIMALLY
AWESOME!
`,
	`Military secrets are the most fleeting of all.
		-- Spock,  The Enterprise Incident , stardate 5027.4
`,
	`I don t think I m gonna agree with that.  Way too much visual confusion...
		-- Larry Wall in <199709021627.JAA11966@wall.org>
`,
	`... I think I d better go back to my DESK and toy with a few common
MISAPPREHENSIONS ...
`,
	`You re almost as happy as you think you are.
`,
	`Come, let us hasten to a higher plane,
Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn,
Their indices bedecked from one to _n,
Commingled in an endless Markov chain!
		-- Stanislaw Lem,  Cyberiad 
`,
	`[32m《送僧归日本》[m
[33m作者：钱起[m
上国随缘住，来途若梦行。
浮天沧海远，去世法舟轻。
水月通禅寂，鱼龙听梵声。
惟怜一灯影，万里眼中明。
`,
	`Is your job running?  You d better go catch it!
`,
	`	THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #2: RENE

Named after the famous French philosopher and mathematician Rene DesCartes,
RENE is a language used for artificial intelligence.  The language is being
developed at the Chicago Center of Machine Politics and Programming under a
grant from the Jane Byrne Victory Fund.  A spokesman described the language
as  Just as great as dis [sic] city of ours. 

The center is very pleased with progress to date.  They say they have almost
succeeded in getting a VAX to think. However, sources inside the
organization say that each time the machine fails to think it ceases to exist.
`,
	`Now, it we had this sort of thing:
  yield -a     for yield to all traffic
  yield -t     for yield to trucks
  yield -f     for yield to people walking (yield foot)
  yield -d t*  for yield on days starting with t

...you d have a lot of dead people at intersections, and traffic jams you
wouldn t believe...
		-- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands
`,
	`I don t want to achieve immortality through my work.  I want to achieve
immortality through not dying.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`Hiccuping & trembling into the WASTE DUMPS of New Jersey like some
drunken CABBAGE PATCH DOLL, coughing in line at FIORUCCI S!!
`,
	` There s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it
is I ll get married again. 
		-- Clint Eastwood
`,
	`Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore and no aspect of society
being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded responsible
thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money
system, institute complete automation and destroy the male sex.
		-- Valerie Solanas
`,
	`<Overfiend> xhost +localhost should only be done by people who would
            paint their hostname and root password on an interstate
            overpass.
`,
	`When you find yourself in danger,
When you re threatened by a stranger,
When it looks like you will take a lickin ...

There is one thing you should learn,
When there is no one else to turn to,
	Caaaall for Super Chicken!!    (**bwuck-bwuck-bwuck-bwuck**)
	Caaaall for Super Chicken!!
`,
	`The X Window System:
  The standard UNIX graphical environment.  With Linux, this is usually
  XFree86 (http://www.xfree86.org).  You may call it X, XFree, the X
  Window System, XF86, or a host of other things.  Call it  XWindows  and
  someone will smack you and you will have deserved it.
`,
	`Protect from light.
`,
	`Good leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed.
`,
	`I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!
`,
	`Love America -- or give it back.
`,
	`Tempt me with a spoon!
`,
	`Beware of the Turing Tar-pit in which everything is possible but nothing of
interest is easy.
`,
	`I have become me without my consent.
`,
	`Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your
acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.
		-- Richard Bach,  Illusions 
`,
	`About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
`,
	`You two ought to be more careful--your love could drag on for years and years.
`,
	`Noise proves nothing.  Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles
as if she laid an asteroid.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`memo, n.:
	An interoffice communication too often written more for the benefit
	of the person who sends it than the person who receives it.
`,
	`Don t read everything you believe.
`,
	`Euch ist bekannt, was wir beduerfen;
Wir wollen stark Getraenke schluerfen.
		-- Goethe,  Faust 
`,
	`If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a
guru at all?
		-- Strange de Jim,  The Metasexuals 
`,
	`In seeking the unattainable, simplicity only gets in the way.
		-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
`,
	` All Bibles are man-made. 
		-- Thomas Edison
`,
	`The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M.
		-- Charles Pierce
`,
	`Newton s Law of Gravitation:
	What goes up must come down.  But don t expect it to come down where
	you can find it.  Murphy s Law applies to Newton s.
`,
	`I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when
it has been used to commit a murder.
		-- M. Gallaher
`,
	`There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which
it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.
		-- James Boswell
`,
	`A sinking ship gathers no moss.
		-- Donald Kaul
`,
	`<netgod> Feanor: u have no idea of the depth of the stupidty of american law
`,
	`Some programming languages manage to absorb change, but withstand progress.
		-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
`,
	`Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
		-- Dr. Karl Bowman
`,
	`	What is involved in such [close] relationships is a form of emotional
chemistry, so far unexplained by any school of psychiatry I am aware of, that
conditions nothing so simple as a choice between the poles of attraction and
repulsion.  You can meet some people thirty, forty times down the years, and
they remain amiable bystanders, like the shore lights of towns that a sailor
passes at stated times but never calls at on the regular run.  Conversely,
all considerations of sex aside, you can meet some other people once or twice
and they remain permanent influences on your life.
	Everyone is aware of this discrepancy between the acquaintance seen
as familiar wallpaper or instant friend.  The chemical action it entails is
less worth analyzing than enjoying.  At any rate, these six pieces are about
men with whom I felt an immediate sympat - to use a coining of Max Beerbohm s
more satisfactory to me than the opaque vogue word  empathy .
		-- Alistair Cooke,  Six Men 
`,
	`Did you hear that there s a group of South American Indians that worship
the number zero?

Is nothing sacred?
`,
	`...Deep Hack Mode -- that mysterious and frightening state of
consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread.
		-- Matt Welsh
`,
	`Fortune and love befriend the bold.
		-- Ovid
`,
	`Default, n.:
	The hardware s, of course.
`,
	` The eleventh commandment was  Thou Shalt Compute  or  Thou Shalt Not
Compute  -- I forget which. 
		-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
`,
	`I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
		-- Mae West
`,
	`It is the business of the future to be dangerous.
		-- Hawkwind
`,
	`Exercise caution in your daily affairs.
`,
	`Ladybug, ladybug,
Look to your stern!
Your house is on fire,
Your children will burn!
So jump ye and sing, for
The very first time
The four lines above
Have been put into rhyme.
		-- Walt Kelly
`,
	` I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now
when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still ... 
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.
`,
	`Formatted to fit your screen.
`,
	`Some optional equipment shown.
`,
	`Love isn t only blind, it s also deaf, dumb, and stupid.
`,
	`Darth Vader!  Only you would be so bold!
		-- Princess Leia Organa
`,
	`The most important service rendered by the press is that of educating
people to approach printed matter with distrust.
`,
	`Power corrupts.  And atomic power corrupts atomically.
`,
	`It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
`,
	`People who push both buttons should get their wish.
`,
	`Die, v.:
	To stop sinning suddenly.
		-- Elbert Hubbard
`,
	`Goda s Truism:
	By the time you get to the point where you can make ends meet,
	somebody moves the ends.
`,
	`Top Ten Things Overheard At The ANSI C Draft Committee Meetings:

	(10) Sorry, but that s too useful.
	 (9) Dammit, little-endian systems *are* more consistent!
	 (8) I m on the committee and I *still* don t know what the hell
	     #pragma is for.
	 (7) Well, it s an excellent idea, but it would make the compilers too
	     hard to write.
	 (6) Them bats is smart; they use radar.
	 (5) All right, who s the wiseguy who stuck this trigraph stuff in
	     here?
	 (4) How many times do we have to tell you,  No prior art! 
	 (3) Ha, ha, I can t believe they re actually going to adopt this
	     sucker.
	 (2) Thank you for your generous donation, Mr. Wirth.
	 (1) Gee, I wish we hadn t backed down on  noalias .
`,
	`Women s virtue is man s greatest invention.
		-- Cornelia Otis Skinner
`,
	`[32m题目:《无题》[m
[33m作者:晏殊（９９１－１０５５）[m
油壁香车不再逢，峡云无迹任西东。
梨花院落溶溶月，柳絮池塘淡淡风。
几日寂寥伤酒后，一番萧瑟禁烟中。
鱼书欲寄何由达，水远山长处处同。
`,
	` Even if you re on the right track, you ll get run over if you just sit there. 
		-- Will Rogers
`,
	`To kick or not to kick...
		-- Somewhere on IRC, inspired by Shakespeare
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
`,
	` Nuclear war can ruin your whole compile. 
		-- Karl Lehenbauer
`,
	`Bachelor:
	A man who chases women and never Mrs. one.
`,
	`  Most bacteria have the decency to be microscopic. Epulopiscium
  fishelsoni is not among them. The newly identified one-celled
  macro-microorganism is a full .5 mm long, large enough to be seen
  with the naked eye. Described in the current Nature,  It is a
  million times as massive as a typical bacterium. -Time, page 25,
  March 29, 1993
`,
	`Many are called, few are chosen.  Fewer still get to do the choosing.
`,
	`Cerebus:	I d love to lick apricot brandy out of your navel.
Jaka:		Look, Cerebus-- Jaka has to tell you ... something
Cerebus:	If Cerebus had a navel, would you lick apricot brandy out of it?
Jaka:		Ugh!
Cerebus:	You don t like apricot brandy?
		-- Cerebus #6,  The Secret 
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日》[m
[33m作者:程颢（１０３２－１０８５）[m
云淡风轻近午天，傍花随柳过前川。
时人不识余心乐，将谓偷闲学少年。
`,
	`Technicality, n.:
	In an English court a man named Home was tried for slander in having
	accused a neighbor of murder.  His exact words were:  Sir Thomas Holt
	hath taken a cleaver and stricken his cook upon the head, so that one
	side of his head fell on one shoulder and the other side upon the
	other shoulder.   The defendant was acquitted by instruction of the
	court, the learned judges holding that the words did not charge murder,
	for they did not affirm the death of the cook, that being only an
	inference.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`Only fools are quoted.
		-- Anonymous
`,
	`History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles,
cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.
		-- Leo Tolstoy
`,
	`Tempt not a desperate man.
		-- William Shakespeare,  Romeo and Juliet 
`,
	`	 What do you give a man who has everything?  the pretty teenager
asked her mother.
	 Encouragement, dear,  she replied.
`,
	`Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`Occupational Slumming:
	Taking a job well beneath one s skill or education level
as a means of retreat from adult responsibilities and/or avoiding
failure in one s true occupation.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`Will it improve my CASH FLOW?
`,
	`He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.
		-- J.R.R. Tolkien
`,
	`Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.
`,
	`Life is a game of bridge -- and you ve just been finessed.
`,
	`It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
		-- Rod Serling
`,
	`What will you do if all your problems aren t solved by the time you die?
`,
	`You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep.
`,
	`Showing up is 80% of life.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`Academicians care, that s who.
`,
	`If you have a procedure with 10 parameters, you probably missed some.
`,
	`<Mercury> alexsh: Be /VERY/ cairful, you could, if your unlucky, fry your
          motherboards..
<Knghtbrd> Mercury - sounds like fun
`,
	`It is bad luck to be superstitious.
		-- Andrew W. Mathis
`,
	`Programmers used to batch environments may find it hard to live without
giant listings; we would find it hard to use them.
		-- D. M. Ritchie
`,
	`Whenever one person is found adequate to the discharge of a duty by
close application thereto, it is worse execute by two persons and
scarcely done at all if three or more are employed therein.
		-- George Washington, 1732-1799
`,
	`We are anthill men upon an anthill world.
		-- Ray Bradbury
`,
	` We will be better and braver if we engage and inquire than if we indulge in
the idle fancy that we already know -- or that it is of no use seeking to
know what we do not know. 
		-- Plato
`,
	`No sooner had Edger Allen Poe
Finished his old Raven,
then he started his Old Crow.
`,
	`Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop hacking and fall in love!
`,
	`Carson s Observation on Footwear:
	If the shoe fits, buy the other one too.
`,
	`... or were you driving the PONTIAC that HONKED at me in MIAMI last Tuesday?
`,
	` Let every man teach his son, teach his daughter, that labor is honorable. 
		-- Robert G. Ingersoll
`,
	`<james> abuse me.  I m so lame I sent a bug report to
        debian-devel-changes
`,
	`<dpg> americans are wierd....
<xtifr> californians even weirder
<Knghtbrd> xtifr has a point ...
`,
	`Tools

Thirty spokes meet at a nave;
Because of the hole we may use the wheel.
Clay is moulded into a vessel;
Because of the hollow we may use the cup.
Walls are built around a hearth;
Because of the doors we may use the house.
Thus tools come from what exists,
But use from what does not.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Karlson s Theorem of Snack Food Packages:
	For all P, where P is a package of snack food, P is a SINGLE-SERVING
	package of snack food.

Gibson the Cat s Corrolary:
	For all L, where L is a package of lunch meat, L is Gibson s package
	of lunch meat.
`,
	`Most public domain software is free, at least at first glance.
`,
	`The magician is seated in his high chair and looks upon the world with favor.
He is at the height of his powers.  If he closes his eyes, he causes the world
to disappear.  If he opens his eyes, he causes the world to come back.  If
there is harmony within him, the world is harmonious.  If rage shatters his
inner harmony, the unity of the world is shattered.  If desire arises within
him, he utters the magic syllables that causes the desired object to appear.
His wishes, his thoughts, his gestures, his noises command the universe.
		-- Selma Fraiberg, _The Magic Years_, pg. 107
`,
	`Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing.
		-- Walt Kelly,  Potluck Pogo 
`,
	`There are three kinds of people: men, women, and unix.
`,
	`1st graffitiist: QUESTION AUTHORITY!

2nd graffitiist: Why?
`,
	`Harmony

Embracing the Way, you become embraced;
Breathing gently, you become newborn;
Clearing your mind, you become clear;
Nurturing your children, you become impartial;
Opening your heart, you become accepted;
Accepting the world, you embrace the Way.
Bearing and nurturing,
Creating but not owning,
Giving without demanding,
This is harmony.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
		-- F. Brooks,  The Mythical Man-Month 
`,
	`Cabbage, n.:
	A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as
	a man s head.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	` I m not a god, I was misquoted. 
		-- Lister, Red Dwarf
`,
	`Your mode of life will be changed to ASCII.
`,
	`Too ripped.  Gotta go.
`,
	`Okay ... I m going home to write the  I HATE RUBIK s CUBE HANDBOOK FOR
DEAD CAT LOVERS  ...
`,
	`Marriage causes dating problems.
`,
	` The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity;
the active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of a
military spirit were buried in the cloister: a large portion of public and
private wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and devotion;
and the soldiers  pay was lavished on the useless multitudes of both sexes
who could only plead the merits of abstinence and chastity. 
		-- Edward Gibbons, _The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire_
`,
	` Besides, I think [Slackware] sounds better than  Microsoft,  don t you? 
(By Patrick Volkerding)
`,
	`Time and tide wait for no man.
`,
	`When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?
`,
	`God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to
receive it.
		-- Austin O Malley
`,
	`Are Linux users lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of
reliable, well-engineered commercial software?
		-- Matt Welsh
`,
	`I m sure that that could be indented more readably, but I m scared of
the awk parser.
		-- Larry Wall in <6849@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`Blinding speed can compensate for a lot of deficiencies.
		-- David Nichols
`,
	` I d love to go out with you, but I m taking punk totem pole carving. 
`,
	`I was at this restaurant.  The sign said  Breakfast Anytime.   So I
ordered French Toast in the Rennaissance.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`Lubarsky s Law of Cybernetic Entomology:
	There s always one more bug.
`,
	`Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as
it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.
`,
	`<Overfiend> this is the New Overfiend, preacher of Love and Tolerance
`,
	`But was he mature enough last night at the lesbian masquerade?
`,
	`[32m《寻西山隐者不遇》[m
[33m作者：邱为[m
绝顶一茅茨，直上三十里。
叩关无僮仆，窥室惟案几。
若非巾柴车，应是钓秋水。
差池不相见，黾勉空仰止。
草色新雨中，松声晚窗里。
及兹契幽绝，自足荡心耳。
虽无宾主意，颇得清净理。
兴尽方下山，何必待之子。
`,
	`Comparing software engineering to classical engineering assumes that software
has the ability to wear out.  Software typically behaves, or it does not.  It
either works, or it does not.  Software generally does not degrade, abrade,
stretch, twist, or ablate.  To treat it as a physical entity, therefore, is
misapplication of our engineering skills.  Classical engineering deals with
the characteristics of hardware; software engineering should deal with the
characteristics of *software*, and not with hardware or management.
		-- Dan Klein
`,
	`Either approach may give birth to various sorts of monstrosities.
		-- Larry Wall in <199710221950.MAA25210@wall.org>
`,
	`Systems have sub-systems and sub-systems have sub-systems and so on ad
infinitum -- which is why we re always starting over.
		-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
`,
	`Because I don t need to worry about finances I can ignore Microsoft
and take over the (computing) world from the grassroots.
		-- Linus Torvalds
`,
	`Lighten up, while you still can,
Don t even try to understand,
Just find a place to make your stand,
And take it easy.
		-- The Eagles,  Take It Easy 
`,
	`Strategy:
	A long-range plan whose merit cannot be evaluated until sometime
	after those creating it have left the organization.
`,
	`The Czechs announced after Sputnik that they, too, would launch a satellite.
Of course, it would orbit Sputnik, not Earth!
`,
	`Space is to place as eternity is to time.
		-- Joseph Joubert
`,
	`<Deek> Yes, America is a country based on how pissed-off a group of taxed
       people can get.
<Deek> We exist as a country because we re cheap.
`,
	`Fertility is hereditary.  If your parents didn t have any children,
neither will you.
`,
	`Look at it this way: Your daughter just named the fresh turkey you brought
home  Cuddles , so you re going out to buy a canned ham.  And you re still
drinking ordinary scotch?
`,
	`When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one,
an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.
		-- Edmund Burke
`,
	`Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore
them long enough.
`,
	`Perhaps the world s second worst crime is boredom.  The first is being a bore.
		-- Cecil Beaton
`,
	`When God created two sexes, he may have been overdoing it.
		-- Charles Merrill Smith
`,
	`A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices.
		-- William James
`,
	`It doesn t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you ve
done and what you re going to do.
`,
	`Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.
		-- Lao Tsu
`,
	`The geographical center of Boston is in Roxbury.  Due north of the
center we find the South End.  This is not to be confused with South
Boston which lies directly east from the South End.  North of the South
End is East Boston and southwest of East Boston is the North End.
`,
	`It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood
Boulevard at one time.
`,
	`That s no moon...
		-- Obi-wan Kenobi
`,
	`Great minds run in great circles.
`,
	`Real software engineers don t like the idea of some inexplicable and
greasy hardware several aisles away that may stop working at any
moment.  They have a great distrust of hardware people, and wish that
systems could be virtual at *___all* levels.  They would like personal
computers (you know no one s going to trip over something and kill your
DFA in mid-transit), except that they need 8 megabytes to run their
Correctness Verification Aid packages.
`,
	`<Endy> taniwha: Have you TESTED this one? :)
<taniwha> Endy: of course not
`,
	`Get forgiveness now -- tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.
`,
	`The connection between the language in which we think/program and the problems
and solutions we can imagine is very close.  For this reason restricting
language features with the intent of eliminating programmer errors is at best
dangerous.
		-- Bjarne Stroustrup
`,
	`<james> abuse me.  I m so lame I sent a bug report to debian-devel-changes
		-- Seen on #Debian
`,
	`If we want something nice to get born in nine months, then sex has to
happen.  We want to have the kind of sex that is acceptable and fun for both
people, not the kind where someone is getting screwed. Let s get some cross
fertilization, but not someone getting screwed.
		-- Larry Wall
`,
	` Oh, yes.  The important thing about having lots of things to  remember is
that you ve got to go somewhere afterwards where you can remember them, you
see?  You ve got to stop.  You haven t really been anywhere until you ve got
back home.  I think that s what I mean. 
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Light Fantastic 
`,
	`If a child annoys you, quiet him by brushing his hair.  If this doesn t
work, use the other side of the brush on the other end of the child.
`,
	`Asynchronous inputs are at the root of our race problems.
		-- D. Winker and F. Prosser
`,
	`No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
`,
	`Owe no man any thing...
		-- Romans 13:8
`,
	`Old timer, n.:
	One who remembers when charity was a virtue and not an organization.
`,
	`QOTD:
	I opened Pandora s box, let the cat out of the bag and put the
	ball in their court.
		-- Hon. J. Hacker (The Ministry of Administrative Affairs)
`,
	`Not valid with other offers or specials.
`,
	`Except for 75% of the women, everyone in the whole world wants to have sex.
		-- Ellyn Mustard
`,
	`JOHN PAUL ELECTED POPE!!

(George and Ringo miffed.)
`,
	` In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality
at any point. 
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
`,
	`There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it
reluctantly.
		-- Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)
`,
	`<Knghtbrd> This font is starting to come out very nicely
<stu> Knghtbrd: oh dear, are you hacking up another quake font in vi? :)
`,
	` Quite frankly, I don t like you humans.  After what you all have done,
I find being  inhuman  a compliment. 
		-- Spider Robinson,  Callahan s Secret 
`,
	`	 I suppose you expect me to talk. 
	 No, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to die. 
		-- Goldfinger
`,
	`Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future
pleasure.
		-- Virgil
`,
	`Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.
		-- Tom Robbins
`,
	`I joined scientology at a garage sale!!
`,
	`Mollison s Bureaucracy Hypothesis:
	If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented
	it wasn t worth doing.
`,
	`The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.
		-- John Muir
`,
	`Following

When the great man learns the Way, he follows it with diligence;
When the common man learns the Way, he follows it on occasion;
When the mean man learns the Way, he laughs out loud;
Those who do not laugh, do not learn at all.
Therefore it is said:
Who understands the Way seems foolish;
Who progresses on the Way seems to fail;
Who follows the Way seems to wander.
For the finest harmony appears plain;
The brightest truth appears coloured;
The richest character appears incomplete;
The bravest heart appears meek;
The simplest nature appears inconstant.
The square, perfected, has no corner;
Music, perfected, has no melody;
Love, perfected, has no climax;
Art, perfected, has no meaning.
The Way can be neither sensed nor known:
It transmits sensation and transcends knowledge.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Per buck you get more computing action with the small computer.
		-- R. W. Hamming
`,
	`Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
`,
	`One-Shot Case Study, n.:
	The scientific equivalent of the four-leaf clover, from which it is
	concluded all clovers possess four leaves and are sometimes green.
`,
	`If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then
you clearly don t understand the situation.
`,
	`Lord, what fools these mortals be!
		-- William Shakespeare,  A Midsummer-Night s Dream 
`,
	`Tsort s Constant:
	1.67563, or precisely 1,237.98712567 times the difference between
the distance to the sun and the weight of a small orange.
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Light Fantastic  (slightly modified)
`,
	`* PerlGeek is really a space alien
* Knghtktty believes PerlGeek
`,
	`The only thing cheaper than hardware is talk.
`,
	`For those of you who have been unfortunate enough to never have tasted the
 Great Chieftain O  the Pudden Race  (i.e. haggis) here is an easy to follow
recipe which results in a dish remarkably similar to the above mentioned
protected species.
	Ingredients:
	  1 Sheep s Pluck (heart, lungs, liver) and bag
	  2 teacupsful toasted oatmeal
	  1 teaspoonful salt
	  8 oz. shredded suet
	  2 small onions
	1/2 teaspoonful black pepper

	Scrape and clean bag in cold, then warm, water.  Soak in salt water
overnight.  Wash pluck, then boil for 2 hours with windpipe draining over
the side of pot.  Retain 1 pint of stock.  Cut off windpipe, remove surplus
gristle, chop or mince heart and lungs, and grate best part of liver (about
half only).  Parboil and chop onions, mix all together with oatmeal, suet,
salt, pepper and stock to moisten.  Pack the mixture into bag, allowing for
swelling.  Boil for three hours, pricking regularly all over.  If bag not
available, steam in greased basin covered by greaseproof paper and cloth for
four to five hours.
`,
	`A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.
		-- Edgar A. Shoaff
`,
	`You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
		-- Al Capone
`,
	`You can always tell the Christmas season is here when you start getting
incredibly dense, tinfoil-and-ribbon- wrapped lumps in the mail. Fruitcakes
make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to
damage them.  They last forever, largely because nobody ever eats them.  In
fact, many smart people save the fruitcakes they receive and send them back
to the original givers the next year; some fruitcakes have been passed back
and forth for hundreds of years.

The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound
some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet.  Be sure to wear safety glasses.
		-- Dave Barry,  Simple, Homespun Gifts 
`,
	`People are very flexible and learn to adjust to strange
surroundings -- they can become accustomed to read Lisp and
Fortran programs, for example.
		-- Leon Sterling and Ehud Shapiro, Art of Prolog, MIT Press
`,
	`You ve been telling me to relax all the way here, and now you re telling
me just to be myself?
		-- The Return of the Secaucus Seven
`,
	`The nice thing about Windows is - It does not just crash, it displays a
dialog box and lets you press  OK  first.
(Arno Schaefer s .sig)
`,
	`I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy
argument about what I considered an Odd number.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`<Teknix> our local telco has admitted that someone  backed into a
         button on a switch  and took the entire ATM network down
<netgod> hopefully now routers are designed better, so the  network
         off  swtich is on the back
`,
	`I saw a man pursuing the Horizon,
 Round and round they sped.
I was disturbed at this,
I accosted the man,
 It is futile,  I said.
 You can never-- 
 You lie!  He cried,
and ran on.
		-- Stephen Crane
`,
	`The moss on the tree does not fear the talons of the hawk.
`,
	`I don t mind what Congress does, as long as they don t do it in the
streets and frighten the horses.
		-- Victor Hugo
`,
	`Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they point upward from the
floor -- especially in the dark.
`,
	`Men never make passes at girls wearing glasses.
		-- Dorothy Parker
`,
	`So, is the glass half empty, half full, or just twice as
large as it needs to be?
`,
	`It was one of those perfect summer days -- the sun was shining, a breeze
was blowing, the birds were singing, and the lawn mower was broken ...
		-- James Dent
`,
	`List current at time of printing.
`,
	`The girl who remembers her first kiss now has a daughter who can t even
remember her first husband.
`,
	`Johnson s law:
	Systems resemble the organizations that create them.
`,
	`<netgod> is it me, or is Knghtbrd snoring?
<joeyh> they killed knghtbrd!
<netgod> Kysh: wichert, gecko, joeyh, and I are in a room trying to ignore
          Knghtbrd
<Kysh> netgod: Knghtbrd is hard to ignore.
`,
	`Osborn s Law:
	Variables won t; constants aren t.
`,
	`QOTD:
	 A university faculty is 500 egotists with a common parking problem. 
`,
	`Love, which is quickly kindled in a gentle heart,
	seized this one for the fair form
	that was taken from me-and the way of it afficts me still.
Love, which absolves no loved one from loving,
	seized me so strongly with delight in him,
	that, as you see, it does not leave me even now.
Love brought us to one death.
		-- La Divina Commedia: Inferno V, vv. 100-06
`,
	`<wolfgang> the problem with the  go find a real girl  admonition is
           that so few of them actually have naked transformation
           sequences
<reality> Dude, my girlfriend changes like four times a day
`,
	`My pants just went to high school in the Carlsbad Caverns!!!
`,
	`The Unixverse ends on Tue, 19 Jan 2038 03:14:07 +0000
`,
	`Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at
different speeds.  A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
		-- Clive James
`,
	`It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
`,
	`I feel like I m in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!
`,
	`The reverse side also has a reverse side.
		-- Japanese proverb
`,
	`Sorry, no fortune this time.
`,
	` I m returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it (your paper)
presently occupies the bottom of my bird cage. 
		-- English Professor, Providence College
`,
	`The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has
always been a limited number of Human Beings.
		-- Little Big Man
`,
	`Software is like sex, it s better when it s free.     -- Linus Torvalds
`,
	`Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one
particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.
		-- Eleanor Roosevelt
`,
	`Besides, its really not worthwhile to use more than two times your physical
ram in swap (except in a select few situations). The performance of the system
becomes so abysmal you d rather heat pins under your toenails while reciting
Windows95 source code and staring at porn flicks of Bob Dole than actually try
to type something.
		-- seen on c.o.l.development.system, about the size of the swap space
`,
	`We don t smoke and we don t chew, and we don t go with girls that do.
		-- Walter Summers
`,
	`Hacking s just another word for nothing left to kludge.
`,
	`... Any resemblance between the above views and those of my employer,
my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental.  Any
resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic.  The
question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them
is left as an exercise for the reader.  The question of the existence of
the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient.  (A
discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope
of this article.)
`,
	`Beauty:
	What s in your eye when you have a bee in your hand.
`,
	` The NY Times is read by the people who run the country.  The Washington Post
is read by the people who think they run the country.   The National Enquirer
is read by the people who think Elvis is alive and running the country... 
		-- Robert J Woodhead (trebor@biar.UUCP)
`,
	`It s no use crying over spilt milk -- it only makes it salty for the cat.
`,
	`Unix weanies are as bad at this as anyone.
		-- Larry Wall in <199702111730.JAA28598@wall.org>
`,
	`philosophy:
	The ability to bear with calmness the misfortunes of our friends.
`,
	`No yak too dirty; no dumpster too hollow.
`,
	`One big pile is better than two little piles.
		-- Arlo Guthrie
`,
	`You re dead, Jim.
		-- McCoy,  The Tholian Web , stardate unknown
`,
	` The vast majority of successful major crimes against property are
perpetrated by individuals abusing positions of trust. 
		-- Lawrence Dalzell
`,
	`Visit beautiful Vergas, Minnesota.
`,
	`Look ere ye leap.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`17th Rule of Friendship:
	A friend will refrain from telling you he picked up the same amount of
	life insurance coverage you did for half the price when yours is
	noncancellable.
		-- Esquire, May 1977
`,
	`Steckel s Rule to Success:
	Good enough is never good enough.
`,
	`Eagleson s Law:
	Any code of your own that you haven t looked at for six or more
	months, might as well have been written by someone else.  (Eagleson
	is an optimist, the real number is more like three weeks.)
`,
	`[32m《寄韩谏议》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
今我不乐思岳阳，身欲奋飞病在床。
美人娟娟隔秋水，濯足洞庭望八荒。
鸿飞冥冥日月白，青枫叶赤天雨霜。
玉京群帝集北斗，或骑麒麟翳凤凰。
芙蓉旌旗烟雾落，影动倒景摇潇湘。
星宫之君醉琼浆，羽人稀少不在旁。
似闻昨者赤松子，恐是汉代韩张良。
昔随刘氏定长安，帷幄未改神惨伤。
国家成败吾岂敢，色难腥腐餐枫香。
周南留滞古所惜，南极老人应寿昌。
美人胡为隔秋水，焉得置之贡玉堂。
`,
	`There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
`,
	`Question: Is it better to abide by the rules until they re changed or
help speed the change by breaking them?
`,
	`How much does it cost to entice a dope-smoking UNIX system guru to Dayton?
		-- Brian Boyle, UNIX/WORLD s First Annual Salary Survey
`,
	`The real problem with hunting elephants is carrying the decoys.
`,
	`Consultation, n.:
	Medical term meaning  to share the wealth. 
`,
	`Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to love.
		-- Publius Vergilius Maro (Virgil)
`,
	`Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other
forms that have been tried from time to time.
		-- Winston Churchill
`,
	`	The defense attorney was hammering away at the plaintiff:
 You claim,  he jeered,  that my client came at you with a broken bottle
in his hand.  But is it not true, that you had something in YOUR hand? 
	 Yes,  the man admitted,  his wife. Very charming, of course,
but not much good in a fight. 
`,
	` An entire fraternity of strapping Wall-Street-bound youth.  Hell - this
is going to be a blood bath! 
		-- Post Bros. Comics
`,
	`Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next
week, next month and next year.  And to have the ability afterwards to
explain why it didn t happen.
		-- Winston Churchill
`,
	`Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
		-- Anonymous
`,
	`The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.
		-- Blaise Pascal
`,
	`A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough
to take it all away.
		-- Barry Goldwater
`,
	`There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.
		-- Thomas W. Lamont, October 29, 1929 (Black Tuesday)
`,
	`Q:	What is purple and commutes?
A:	An Abelian grape.
`,
	`You don t have to be nice to people on the way up if you re not planning on
coming back down.
		-- Oliver Warbucks,  Annie 
`,
	`Next Friday will not be your lucky day.  As a matter of fact, you don t
have a lucky day this year.
`,
	`Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder
aloud what the country could do under first-class management.
		-- Senator Soaper
`,
	`Moishe Margolies, who weighed all of 105 pounds and stood an even five feet
in his socks, was taking his first airplane trip. He took a seat next to a
hulking bruiser of a man who happened to be the heavyweight champion of
the world.  Little Moishe was uneasy enough before he even entered the plane,
but now the roar of the engines and the great height absolutely terrified him.
So frightened did he become that his stomach turned over and he threw up all
over the muscular giant siting beside him.  Fortunately, at least for Moishe,
the man was sound asleep.  But now the little man had another problem.  How in
the world would he ever explain the situation to the burly brute when he
awakened?  The sudden voice of the stewardess on the plane s intercom, finally
woke the bruiser, and Moishe, his heart in his mouth, rose to the occasion.
	 Feeling better now?  he asked solicitously.
`,
	`She blinded me with science!
`,
	`Slang is language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and goes to work.
`,
	`Cat, n.:
	Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.
`,
	`But the possibility of abuse may be a good reason for leaving
capabilities out of other computer languages, it s not a good reason for
leaving capabilities out of Perl.
		-- Larry Wall in <199709251614.JAA15718@wall.org>
`,
	`Real Users are afraid they ll break the machine -- but they re never
afraid to break your face.
`,
	`Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to
twelve people that weren t smart enough to get out of jury duty!
`,
	` ...Deep Hack Mode--that mysterious and frightening state of
consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread. 
(By Matt Welsh)
`,
	`Every path has its puddle.
`,
	`What we see depends on mainly what we look for.
		-- John Lubbock
`,
	`I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!
`,
	`Today when a man gets married he gets a home, a housekeeper, a cook, a cheering
squad and another paycheck.  When a woman marries, she gets a boarder.
`,
	`Oh, love is real enough, you will find it some day, but it has one
arch-enemy -- and that is life.
		-- Jean Anouilh,  Ardele 
`,
	`The anger of a woman is the greatest evil with which you can threaten your
enemies.
		-- Bonnard
`,
	`Do not drink and drive.
`,
	`Make it myself?  But I m a physical organic chemist!
`,
	`Gnagloot, n.:
	A person who leaves all his ski passes on his jacket just to
	impress people.
		-- Rich Hall,  Sniglets 
`,
	`I THINK THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING in science called the  reindeer effect. 
I don t know what it would be, but I think it d be good to hear someone say,
 Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect. 
		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
`,
	`Math is like love -- a simple idea but it can get complicated.
		-- R. Drabek
`,
	`There s one fool at least in every married couple.
`,
	`My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
		-- Christopher Morley
`,
	`The only justification for our concepts and systems of concepts is that they
serve to represent the complex of our experiences; beyond this they have
no legitimacy.
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	`Set the cart before the horse.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`University, n.:
	Like a software house, except the software s free, and it s usable,
	and it works, and if it breaks they ll quickly tell you how to fix
	it, and ...

	[Okay, okay, I ll leave it in, but I think you re destroying
	 the credibility of the entire fortune program.  Ed.]
`,
	`The reward for working hard is more hard work.
`,
	` In the face of entropy and nothingness, you kind of have to pretend it s not
there if you want to keep writing good code.   -- Karl Lehenbauer
`,
	`Whatever is not nailed down is mine.  Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.
		-- Collis P. Huntingdon, railroad tycoon
`,
	`transparent, adj.:
	Being or pertaining to an existing, nontangible object.
	 It s there, but you can t see it 
		-- IBM System/360 announcement, 1964.

virtual, adj.:
	Being or pertaining to a tangible, nonexistent object.
	 I can see it, but it s not there. 
		-- Lady Macbeth.
`,
	`In a great romance, each person basically plays a part that the
other really likes.
		-- Elizabeth Ashley
`,
	`The hardest part of climbing the ladder of success is getting through
the crowd at the bottom.
`,
	`Paranoia is heightened awareness.
`,
	`<lilo> it s weird, when you go on a safari to Africa to catch a lion, you
       find it alive and it charges, and then you kill it
<lilo> when you go on a safari to South Bay to find a Palm Vx, you find
       it dead and take it home and it charges after it arrives :)
`,
	`The Wright Bothers weren t the first to fly.  They were just the first
not to crash.
`,
	`I own seven-eighths of all the artists in downtown Burbank!
`,
	`<moshez> ok, I will not marry Jo-Con-El s cow.
`,
	`Two wrongs don t make a right, but three lefts do.
`,
	`E = MC ** 2 +- 3db
`,
	`The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be
able to correct them.
		-- Nicolaides
`,
	` Faith:  not *wanting* to know what is true. 
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
`,
	`Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth
to a child.  She must be found and stopped.
		-- Sam Levenson
`,
	`Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.
		-- M. J. 0 Donnell
`,
	`It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
`,
	` I m a mean green mother from outer space 
		-- Audrey II, The Little Shop of Horrors
`,
	`<knghtbrd> joeyh: I was down since midmorning yesterday and pacbell said
           this morning that AT&T was to blame and almost all of the state
           was down
<rcw> dunno why people insist the internet can survive a nuclear holocaust
      when it can t survive a backhoe
`,
	`The fountain code has been tightened slightly so you can no longer dip
objects into a fountain or drink from one while you are floating in mid-air
due to levitation.
	Teleporting to hell via a teleportation trap will no longer occur
if the character does not have fire resistance.
		-- README file from the NetHack game
`,
	`Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won t see his face.
`,
	`Q:	What is the difference between a duck?
A:	One leg is both the same.
`,
	`[32m《相思》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
红豆生南国，春来发几枝。
愿君多采撷，此物最相思。
`,
	`<< WAIT >>
`,
	`Better hope the life-inspector doesn t come around while you have your
life in such a mess.
`,
	`* james would be more impressed if netgod s magic powers could stop the
  splits in the first place...
* netgod notes debian developers are notoriously hard to impress
`,
	`algorithm, n.:
	Trendy dance for hip programmers.
`,
	`I have learned silence from the talkative,
toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind.
		-- Kahlil Gibran
`,
	` Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can t like it. 
		-- Marvin,  Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy 
`,
	`... at least I thought I was dancing,  til somebody stepped on my hand.
		-- J. B. White
`,
	`Boucher s Observation:
	He who blows his own horn always plays the music
	several octaves higher than originally written.
`,
	` Our journey toward the stars has progressed swiftly.

In 1926 Robert H. Goddard launched the first liquid-propelled rocket,
achieving an altitude of 41 feet.  In 1962 John Glenn orbited the earth.

In 1969, only 66 years after Orville Wright flew two feet off the ground
for 12 seconds, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and I rocketed to the moon
in Apollo 11. 
-- Michael Collins
   Former astronaut and past Director of the National Air and Space Museum
`,
	`<Endy> knghtbrd: QW s netcode is doing strange things to me. :P
<knghtbrd> This is unusual?  ;>
<Endy> Not really. :P
`,
	`Well, it s hard for a mere man to believe that woman doesn t have equal rights.
		-- Dwight D. Eisenhower
`,
	`YOW!!  I m in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!
`,
	`str->str_pok |= SP_FBM;                     /* deep magic */
s = (unsigned char*)(str->str_ptr);         /* deeper magic */
		-- Larry Wall in util.c from the perl source code
`,
	`Yow!  We re going to a new disco!
`,
	`I have a rock garden.  Last week three of them died.
		-- Richard Diran
`,
	`Fortune presents:
	USEFUL PHRASES IN ESPERANTO, #5.

Mi ^cevalovipus vin se mi havus		I d horsewhip you if I had a horse.
	^cevalon.
Vere vi ^sercas.			You must be kidding.
Nu, parDOOOOOnu min!			Well exCUUUUUSE me!
Kiu invitis vin?			Who invited you?
Kion vi diris pri mia patrino?		What did you say about my mother?
Bu^so^stopu min per kulero.		Gag me with a spoon.
`,
	`Time washes clean
Love s wounds unseen.
That s what someone told me;
But I don t know what it means.
		-- Linda Ronstadt,  Long Long Time 
`,
	`Football is a game designed to keep coalminers off the streets.
		-- Jimmy Breslin
`,
	`A formal parsing algorithm should not always be used.
		-- D. Gries
`,
	`Every Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof by intimidation):

Horses have an even number of legs.  Behind they have two legs, and in
front they have fore-legs.  This makes six legs, which is certainly an
odd number of legs for a horse.  But the only number that is both even
and odd is infinity.  Therefore, horses have an infinite number of
legs.  Now to show this for the general case, suppose that somewhere,
there is a horse that has a finite number of legs.  But that is a horse
of another color, and by the lemma [ All horses are the same color ],
that does not exist.
`,
	`Help a swallow land at Capistrano.
`,
	`...Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and
the Ugly).
		-- Matt Welsh
`,
	`<rm_-rf_> The real value of KDE is that they inspired and push the
          development of GNOME :-)
		-- #Debian
`,
	` Every group has a couple of experts.  And every group has at least one idiot.
 Thus are balance and harmony (and discord) maintained.  It s sometimes hard
 to remember this in the bulk of the flamewars that all of the hassle and
 pain is generally caused by one or two highly-motivated, caustic twits. 
		-- Chuq Von Rospach, chuq@apple.com, about Usenet
`,
	`HOST SYSTEM RESPONDING, PROBABLY UP...
`,
	`Allen s Axiom:
	When all else fails, read the instructions.
`,
	`  After they got rid of capital punishment, they had to hang twice
  as many people as before.
`,
	`Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do.
Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`Opened for inspection.
`,
	`Go slowly to the entertainments of thy friends, but quickly to their
misfortunes.
		-- Chilo
`,
	`Watson s Law:
	The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the
	number and significance of any persons watching it.
`,
	`See store for details.
`,
	`Yow!  I threw up on my window!
`,
	`Pedaeration, n.:
	The perfect body heat achieved by having one leg under the
	sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
		-- Rich Hall,  Sniglets 
`,
	` Necessity is the mother of invention  is a silly proverb.   Necessity
is the mother of futile dodges  is much nearer the truth.
		-- Alfred North Whitehead
`,
	`Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is
to a cockatoo.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`Hey, Jim, it s me, Susie Lillis from the laundromat.  You said you were
gonna call and it s been two weeks.  What s wrong, you lose my number?
`,
	`Do not use that foreign word  ideals .  We have that excellent native
word  lies .
		-- Henrik Ibsen,  The Wild Duck 
`,
	`Be cautious in your daily affairs.
`,
	`... but hey, this is Linux, isn t it meant to do infinite loops in 5
seconds?
		-- Jonathan Oxer in the apt-cacher ChangeLog
`,
	`My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
`,
	`Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher.  The butcher is
weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and
weeks.  He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists,
but he sings about his gingivectomist, he dreams about a single cosmologist,
he thinks about his dog.  The dog is named Herbert.
		-- Racter,  The Policeman s Beard is Half-Constructed 
`,
	`Two wrights don t make a rong, they make an airplane.  Or bicycles.
`,
	`If you re worried by earthquakes and nuclear war,
As well as by traffic and crime,
Consider how worry-free gophers are,
Though living on burrowed time.
		-- Richard Armour, WSJ, 11/7/83
`,
	`In the middle of a wide field is a pot of gold.  100 feet to the north stands
a smart manager.  100 feet to the south stands a dumb manager.  100 feet to
the east is the Easter Bunny, and 100 feet to the west is Santa Claus.

Q:	Who gets to the pot of gold first?
A:	The dumb manager.  All the rest are myths.
`,
	`Q:	What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney?
A:	An offer you can t understand.
`,
	`Tranquillity

The Way takes no action, but leaves nothing undone.
When you accept this
The world will flourish,
In harmony with nature.
Nature does not possess desire;
Without desire, the heart becomes quiet;
In this manner the whole world is made tranquil.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Death to all fanatics!
`,
	`The distinction between true and false appears to become increasingly
blurred by... the pollution of the language.
		-- Arne Tiselius
`,
	`Mene, mene, tekel, upharsen.
`,
	`In the midst of one of the wildest parties he d ever been to, the young man
noticed a very prim and pretty girl sitting quietly apart from the rest of
the revelers.  Approaching her, he introduced himself and, after some quiet
conversation, said,  I m afraid you and I don t really fit in with this
jaded group.  Why don t I take you home?  
	 Fine,  said the girl, smiling up at him demurely.   Where do you live? 
`,
	`The light of a hundred stars does not equal the light of the moon.
`,
	`Besides the device, the box should contain:
	* Eight little rectangular snippets of paper that say  WARNING 
	* A plastic packet containing four 5/17 inch pilfer grommets and two
		club-ended 6/93 inch boxcar prawns.

YOU WILL NEED TO SUPPLY: a matrix wrench and 60,000 feet of tram cable.

IF ANYTHING IS DAMAGED OR MISSING: You IMMEDIATELY should turn to your spouse
and say:  Margaret, you know why this country can t make a car that can get
all the way through the drive-through at Burger King without a major
transmission overhaul?  Because nobody cares, that s why. 

WARNING: This is assuming your spouse s name is Margaret.
		-- Dave Barry,  Read This First! 
`,
	`In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ...
in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent
to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who
have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
		-- Dr. Laurence J. Peter,  The Peter Principle 
`,
	`Professional wrestling:  ballet for the common man.
`,
	`Madness has no purpose.  Or reason.  But it may have a goal.
		-- Spock,  The Alternative Factor , stardate 3088.7
`,
	`They use different words for things in America.
For instance they say elevator and we say lift.
They say drapes and we say curtains.
They say president and we say brain damaged git.
		-- Alexie Sayle
`,
	`<Knghtbrd> Okay, you people have started talking about BSDM applications of
           network hardware...  I think I ll run off and do something useful
           and Debianish and stay OUT of this one...
<Knghtbrd> (for a change)
`,
	`When a fly lands on the ceiling, does it do a half roll or a half loop?
`,
	`I smell like a wet reducing clinic on Columbus Day!
`,
	`We are all worms.  But I do believe I am a glowworm.
		-- Winston Churchill
`,
	`Remember though that
THERE IS NO GENERAL RULE FOR CONVERTING A LIST INTO A SCALAR.
		-- Larry Wall in the perl man page
`,
	`Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
`,
	`If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost,
I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down
the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes.  A more sententious, holding-
forth old bore who expected every hero-worshiping adenoidal little twerp
of a student-poet to hang on to his every word I never saw.
		-- James Dickey
`,
	`Check me if I m wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers...
they re gonna lock me up and throw away the key!
`,
	`My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
`,
	`Uh-oh!!  I m having TOO MUCH FUN!!
`,
	`<Deek> nopcode: No, it isn t. Win32 lacks the equivalent of fork().
<Knghtbrd> Deek: windoze is not meant for people who should have access to
           sharp objects, hence no fork()
<Knghtbrd> instead, you must rely on spoon()
`,
	`Kaufman s Law:
	A policy is a restrictive document to prevent a recurrence
	of a single incident, in which that incident is never mentioned.
`,
	`A journey of a thousand miles starts under one s feet.
		-- Lao Tsu
`,
	`When a lion meets another with a louder roar,
the first lion thinks the last a bore.
		-- G. B. Shaw
`,
	`I was born in a Hostess Cupcake factory before the sexual revolution!
`,
	`The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable.
		-- John Kenneth Galbraith
`,
	`The reason they re called wisdom teeth is that the experience makes you wise.
`,
	`<xtifr> wow, I think I just used libtool to solve a problem -- somebody
        help me! :>
<luca> xtifr, STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD
`,
	`Smear the road with a runner!!
`,
	`How many weeks are there in a light year?
`,
	`The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
`,
	`While money can t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own
form of misery.
`,
	`It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
`,
	`In Greene, New York, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on
the sidewalks when a concert is on.
`,
	`	A man from AI walked across the mountains to SAIL to see the Master,
Knuth.  When he arrived, the Master was nowhere to be found.   Where is the
wise one named Knuth?  he asked a passing student.
	 Ah,  said the student,  you have not heard. He has gone on a
pilgrimage across the mountains to the temple of AI to seek out new
disciples. 
	Hearing this, the man was Enlightened.
`,
	`The animals are not as stupid as one thinks -- they have neither
doctors nor lawyers.
		-- L. Docquier
`,
	` BYTE editors are men who separate the wheat from the chaff, and then
 print the chaff. 
		-- Lionel Hummel (uiucdcs!hummel), derived from a quote by Adlai Stevenson, Sr.
`,
	`I respect the institution of marriage.  I have always thought that every
woman should marry -- and no man.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli,  Lothair 
`,
	`Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
`,
	`Fortune s Exercising Truths:

1:  Richard Simmons gets paid to exercise like a lunatic.  You don t.
2.  Aerobic exercises stimulate and speed up the heart.  So do heart attacks.
3.  Exercising around small children can scar them emotionally for life.
4.  Sweating like a pig and gasping for breath is not refreshing.
5.  No matter what anyone tells you, isometric exercises cannot be done
    quietly at your desk at work.  People will suspect manic tendencies as
    you twitter around in your chair.
6.  Next to burying bones, the thing a dog enjoys mosts is tripping joggers.
7.  Locking four people in a tiny, cement-walled room so they can run around
    for an hour smashing a little rubber ball -- and each other -- with a hard
    racket should immediately be recognized for what it is: a form of insanity.
8.  Fifty push-ups, followed by thirty sit-ups, followed by ten chin-ups,
    followed by one throw-up.
9.  Any activity that can t be done while smoking should be avoided.
`,
	`The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late
and owns the worm farm.
		-- Travis McGee
`,
	`Revenge is a meal best served cold.
`,
	`To say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of
confidence.
		-- Andrew Young
`,
	`Hey, wait a minute!!  I want a divorce!! ... you re not Clint Eastwood!!
`,
	`Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain.
`,
	`I just remembered something about a TOAD!
`,
	`The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub.
`,
	`Decemba, n:	The 12th month of the year.
erra, n:	A mistake.
faa, n:		To, from, or at considerable distance.
Linder, n:	A female name.
memba, n:	To recall to the mind; think of again.
New Hampsha, n:	A state in the northeast United States.
New Yaak, n:	Another state in the northeast United States.
Novemba, n:	The 11th month of the year.
Octoba, n:	The 10th month of the year.
ova, n:		Location above or across a specified position.  What the
			season is when the Knicks quit playing.
		-- Massachewsetts Unabridged Dictionary
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was
   a victim?
`,
	`The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
`,
	`If you throw a New Year s Party, the worst thing that you can do would be
to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to
say they had a nice time.  Now you ll be be expected to throw another party
next year.
	What you should do is throw the kind of party where your guest wake
up several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if they ve been
indicted for anything.  You want your guests to be so anxious to avoid a
recurrence of your party that they immediately start planning parties of their
own, a year in advance, just to prevent you from having another one ...
	If your party is successful, the police will knock on your door,
unless your party is very successful in which case they will lob tear gas
through your living room window.  As host, your job is to make sure that
they don t arrest anybody.  Or if they re dead set on arresting someone,
your job is to make sure it isn t you ...
		-- Dave Barry
`,
	`The woman you buy -- and she is the least expensive -- takes a great
deal of money.  The woman who gives herself takes all your time.
		-- Balzac
`,
	`And now for something completely the same.
`,
	`  The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. -W. C. Fields
`,
	`My LESLIE GORE record is BROKEN ...
`,
	`Not every question deserves an answer.
`,
	`FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #13
A:	Doc, Happy, Bashful, Dopey, Sneezy, Sleepy, & Grumpy
Q:	Who were the Democratic presidential candidates?
`,
	`=== This letter is the Honor System Virus ====
If you are running a Macintosh, OS/2, Unix, or
Linux computer, please randomly delete
several files from your hard disk drive and
forward this message to everyone you know.
==============================================
`,
	`The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it s further away.
`,
	`Modesty:
	The gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be
	aware of it.
		-- Oliver Herford
`,
	`Poverty begins at home.
`,
	`I was born in a Hostess Cupcake factory before the sexual revolution!
`,
	`<frogbert> its hard being a lesbian withoutn breasts...people dont take
           you seriously
`,
	`news: gotcha
`,
	`Buck-passing usually turns out to be a boomerang.
`,
	`Forest fires cause Smokey Bears.
`,
	`Canonical, adj.:
	The usual or standard state or manner of something.  A true story:
One Bob Sjoberg, new at the MIT AI Lab, expressed some annoyance at the use
of jargon.  Over his loud objections, we made a point of using jargon as
much as possible in his presence, and eventually it began to sink in.
Finally, in one conversation, he used the word  canonical  in jargon-like
fashion without thinking.
	Steele:  Aha!  We ve finally got you talking jargon too! 
	Stallman:  What did he say? 
	Steele:  He just used  canonical  in the canonical way. 
`,
	`I request a weekend in Havana with Phil Silvers!
`,
	`[...] or some clown changed the chips on a board and not its name.
(Don t laugh!  Look at the SMC etherpower for that.)
		-- from /usr/src/linux/MAINTAINERS
`,
	`Symptom:		Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is
			unusually pale and clear.
Problem:		Glass empty.
Action Required:	Find someone who will buy you another beer.

Symptom:		Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,
			and the front of your shirt is wet.
Fault:			Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to
			wrong part of face.
Action Required:	Buy another beer and practice in front of mirror.
			Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.
		-- Bar Troubleshooting
`,
	`We knew from experience that the essence of communal computing, as
supplied by remote-access, time-shared machines, is not just to type
programs into a terminal instead of a keypunch, but to encourage close
communication.
		-- Dennis Ritchie
`,
	`Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.
		-- Gail Godwin
`,
	` If you want to eat hippopotamus, you ve got to pay the freight. 
		-- attributed to an IBM guy, about why IBM software uses so much memory
`,
	`I m encased in the lining of a pure pork sausage!!
`,
	`With listening comes wisdom, with speaking repentance.
`,
	`Birds and bees have as much to do with the facts of life as black
nightgowns do with keeping warm.
		-- Hester Mundis,  Powermom 
`,
	`You are the only person to ever get this message.
`,
	`Just give Alice some pencils and she will stay busy for hours.
`,
	`The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.
		-- Marcus Tullius Cicero
`,
	`One of the saddest lessons of history is this:  If we ve been bamboozled
long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle.  We re no
longer interested in finding out the truth.  The bamboozle has captured
us.  it is simply too painful to acknowledge -- even to ourselves -- that
we ve been so credulous.  (So the old bamboozles tend to persist as the
new bamboozles rise.)
		-- Carl Sagan,  The Fine Art of Baloney Detection,  Parade, February 1, 1987
`,
	`Occam s eraser:
	The philosophical principle that even the simplest
	solution is bound to have something wrong with it.
`,
	`<|Rain|> with sane code, maybe I could figure out the renderer :)
<LordHavoc> rain: I d probably be the one writing the renderer
<|Rain|> well, er, uh
`,
	`Here I am again right where I know I shouldn t be
I ve been caught inside this trap too many times
I must ve walked these steps and said these words a
	thousand times before
It seems like I know everybody s lines.
		-- David Bromberg,  How Late ll You Play  Til? 
`,
	`QOTD:
	 I ve always wanted to work in the Federal Mint.  And then go on
	strike.  To make less money. 
`,
	`Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
		-- Lily Tomlin
`,
	`The duration of passion is proportionate with the original resistance
of the woman.
		-- Honor e DeBalzac
`,
	`When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the
plane will fly.
		-- Donald Douglas
`,
	`Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at
your side.
		-- Han Solo
`,
	`Onward through the fog.
`,
	`Gilbert s Discovery:
	Any attempt to use the new super glues results in the two pieces
	sticking to your thumb and index finger rather than to each other.
`,
	`Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable  BugFree(tm) 
series of kernels.  So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets
and deliver this message of joy to the masses.
		-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
`,
	`* knghtbrd does the ET thing
<knghtbrd> anybody got a speak-n-spell?
`,
	`In India,  cold weather  is merely a conventional phrase and has come into
use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather
which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`Without fools there would be no wisdom.
`,
	` I understand this is your first dead client,  Sabian was saying.  The
absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don t call me
Deadpan Allie and lie.
		-- Pat Cadigan,  Mindplayers 
`,
	` There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things
 we don t know yet. 
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a brand of beer
exactly to his taste he should at once throw up his job and go to work
in the brewery.
		-- George Jean Nathan
`,
	`...this is an awesome sight.  The entire rebel resistance buried under six
million hardbound copies of  The Naked Lunch. 
		-- The Firesign Theater
`,
	`When you are in the middle of a story it isn t a story at all, but
only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered
glass and splintered wood, like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat
crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids, and all aboard
powerless to stop it.  It s only afterwards that it becomes anything
like a story at all.  When you are telling it, to yourself or to
someone else.
		-- Margaret Atwood,  Alias Grace 
`,
	`In the beginning there was nothing.  And the Lord said  Let There Be Light! 
And still there was nothing, but at least now you could see it.
`,
	` The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists
 in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore all progress depends on
 the unreasonable man. 
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
		-- Richard Bach,  Illusions 
`,
	` Are [Linux users] lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of
reliable, well-engineered commercial software? 
(By Matt Welsh)
`,
	`A good name lost is seldom regained.  When character is gone,
all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.
		-- J. Hawes
`,
	`It is not necessary to inquire whether a woman would like something for
dessert.  The answer is yes, she would like something for dessert, but
she would like you to order it so she can pick at it with your fork.  She
does not want you to call attention to this by saying,  If you wanted a
dessert, why didn t you order one?   You must understand, she has the
dessert she wants.  The dessert she wants is contained within yours.
		-- Merrill Markoe,  An Insider s Guide to the American Woman 
`,
	`Did you hear that Captain Crunch, Sugar Bear, Tony the Tiger, and
Snap, Crackle and Pop were all murdered recently...

Police suspect the work of a cereal killer!
`,
	`And now for something completely different.
`,
	`Never leave anything to chance; make sure all your crimes are premeditated.
`,
	`Booze is the answer.  I don t remember the question.
`,
	`After an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found
on the bench.
`,
	`* Endy needs to consult coffee :P
<Endy> coffee the bot person, not coffee the beverage :)
<knghtbrd> consulting the beverage may help too  =>
`,
	`He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
`,
	`Make headway at work.  Continue to let things deteriorate at home.
`,
	` My life is a soap opera, but who has the rights? 
		-- MadameX
`,
	`Ever wonder if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?
`,
	`Why is it that when you DIE, you can t take your HOME ENTERTAINMENT
CENTER with you??
`,
	`The unrecognized minister of propaganda,
E
		-- seen in an email from Ean Schuessler
`,
	`Never trust an operating system you don t have sources for. ;-)
		-- Unknown source
`,
	`A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have
enlightened him with ours.
`,
	`[32m《同题仙游观》[m
[33m作者：韩ꆼ[m
仙台初见五城楼，风物凄凄宿雨收。
山色遥连秦树晚，砧声近报汉宫秋。
疏松影落空坛静，细草香闲小洞幽。
何用别寻方外去，人间亦自有丹丘。
`,
	`Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more
deadly in the long run.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`If you have to ask what jazz is, you ll never know.
		-- Louis Armstrong
`,
	`Language is a virus from another planet.
		-- William Burroughs
`,
	`A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn t care to drink with
-- even if he drank.
		-- H. L. Mencken
`,
	`Well, my terminal s locked up, and I ain t got any Mail,
	And I can t recall the last time that my program didn t fail;
I ve got stacks in my structs, I ve got arrays in my queues,
	I ve got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues.

If you think that it s nice that you get what you C,
	Then go : illogical statement with your whole family,
 Cause the Supreme Court ain t the only place with : Bus error views.
	I ve got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues.

On a PDP-11, life should be a breeze,
	But with VAXen in the house even magnetic tapes would freeze.
Now you might think that unlike VAXen I d know who I abuse,
	I ve got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues.
		-- Core Dumped Blues
`,
	`<doogie> cat /dev/random | perl ?
<shaleh> doogie: it is also a valid sendmail.cf
<doogie> :)
* knghtbrd hands doogie a senseless-use-of-cat award
* shaleh wants to try it but is afraid
`,
	`She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to.
		-- Gypsy Rose Lee
`,
	`Fortune s Real-Life Courtroom Quote #19:

Q:  Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A:  All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
`,
	`But, officer, he s not drunk, I just saw his fingers twitch!
`,
	`* joeyh cvs commits his home directory. Aaaaaa
<drow> eeeeeeek
<drow> joeyh: That is simply evil.  Period.
`,
	`Famous last words:
`,
	`Hubbard s Law:
	Don t take life too seriously; you won t get out of it alive.
`,
	`I m often asked the question,  Do you think there is extraterrestrial intelli-
gence?   I give the standard arguments -- there are a lot of places out there,
and use the word *billions*, and so on.  And then I say it would be astonishing
to me if there weren t extraterrestrial intelligence, but of course there is as
yet no compelling evidence for it.  And then I m asked,  Yeah, but what do you
really think?   I say,  I just told you what I really think.    Yeah, but
what s your gut feeling?   But I try not to think with my gut.  Really, it s
okay to reserve judgment until the evidence is in.
		-- Carl Sagan, The Burden Of Skepticism, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 12, Fall 87
`,
	`Never argue with a fool -- people might not be able to tell the difference.
`,
	`One of the pleasures of reading old letters is the knowledge that they
need no answer.
		-- George Gordon, Lord Byron
`,
	`In war it is not men, but the man who counts.
		-- Napoleon
`,
	`Harrison s Postulate:
	For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
`,
	`Beware of self-styled experts: an ex is a has-been, and a spurt is a
drip under pressure.
`,
	`The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.
`,
	`Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.
`,
	`Theory is gray, but the golden tree of life is green.
		-- Goethe
`,
	`  She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.
		-- Arthur Baer, American comic and columnist
`,
	`Decision maker, n.:
	The person in your office who was unable to form a task force
	before the music stopped.
`,
	`Love America -- or give it back.
`,
	`The sourceforge approach is to place all of the projects in some bland
 open source surburbia , where all of the houses are alike, with only the
colors and minor style variations (which building plan was used for which
particular house) are allowed by the restrictive covenants and local
zoning laws.  Sourceforege is the open source equivalent of the
subdivision in the movie  Edward Scissorhands .
		-- Terry Lambert
`,
	`Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible.
		-- Frank Moore Colby
`,
	`FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN:	#6

Bathrooms:
	A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman s bathroom is 437.  A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.

Groceries:
	A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store
and buys these things.  A man waits  til the only items left in his fridge
are half a lime and a Blue Ribbon.  Then he goes grocery shopping.  He buys
everything that looks good.  By the time a man reaches the checkout counter,
his cart is packed tighter that the Clampett s car on Beverly Hillbillies.
Of course, this will not stop him from entering the 10-items-or-less lane.
`,
	`Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
		-- attributed to both Fred Allen and Ernie Kovacs
`,
	`It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
`,
	`The girl who stoops to conquer usually wears a low-cut dress.
`,
	`If you want to know how old a man is, ask his brother-in-law.
`,
	` So, will the Andover party have a cash bar? 
 No, there s free beer. 
 Uh-oh, Stallman s gonna be pissed... 
		-- overheard at the Bazaar, 1999
`,
	`All this time I ve been VIEWING a RUSSIAN MIDGET SODOMIZE a HOUSECAT!
`,
	`Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit.
	[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
		-- Ovid
`,
	`According to Arkansas law, Section 4761, Pope s Digest:   No person
shall be permitted under any pretext whatever, to come nearer than
fifty feet of any door or window of any polling room, from the opening
of the polls until the completion of the count and the certification of
the returns. 
`,
	`Who are the artists in the Computer Graphics Show?  Wavefront s latest box, or
the people who programmed it?  Should Mandelbrot get all the credit for the
output of programs like MandelVroom?
		-- Peter da Silva
`,
	`Not everything worth doing is worth doing well.
`,
	`	 Reintegration complete,  ZORAC advised.   We re back in the
universe again...   An unusually long pause followed,  ...but I don t
know which part.  We seem to have changed our position in space.   A
spherical display in the middle of the floor illuminated to show the
starfield surrounding the ship.
	 Several large, artificial constructions are approaching us, 
ZORAC announced after a short pause.   The designs are not familiar, but
they are obviously the products of intelligence.  Implications: we have
been intercepted deliberately by a means unknown, for a purpose unknown,
and transferred to a place unknown by a form of intelligence unknown.
Apart from the unknowns, everything is obvious. 
		-- James P. Hogan,  Giants Star 
`,
	`Stult s Report:
	Our problems are mostly behind us.  What we have to do now is
	fight the solutions.
`,
	`How many hors d oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being carried by
a waiter at a nice party?
	Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors
d oeuvre.  If they re those little pastry things where you can t tell what s
inside, you take one, bite off about two-thirds of it, then say:   This is
cheese!  I hate cheese!   Then you put the rest of it back on the tray and
bite another one and go,  Darn it!  Another cheese!  and so on.
		-- Dave Barry,  The Stuff of Etiquette 
`,
	`To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
`,
	`Is that really YOU that is reading this?
`,
	`The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
`,
	`Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
`,
	`Fly Windows NT:
All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs
in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet
swooshing sounds as if they are flying.
`,
	`toilet toup ee, n.:
	Any shag carpet that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus
	creating endless annoyance to male users.
		-- Rich Hall,  Sniglets 
`,
	`In war it is not men, but the man who counts.
		-- Napoleon
`,
	`	 Found it,  the Mouse replied rather crossly:  of course you know
what  it  means. 
	 I know what  it  means well enough, when I find a thing,  said the
Duck:  it s generally a frog or a worm.  The question is, what did the
archbishop find? 
`,
	`You should go home.
`,
	`Don t compare floating point numbers solely for equality.
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: Did you tell your lawyer that your husband had offered you indignities?
A: He didn t offer me nothing; he just said I could have the furniture.
`,
	`Shirley MacLaine died today in a freak psychic collision today.  Two freaks
in a van  [Oh no!!  It s the Copyright Police!!]  Her aura-charred body was
laid to rest after a eulogy by Jackie Collins, fellow member of SAFE [Society
of Asinine Flake Entertainers].  Excerpted from some of his more quotable
comments:

	 Truly a woman of the times.  These times, those times... 
	 A Renaissance woman.  Why in 1432... 
	 A man for all seasons.  Really... 

After the ceremony, Shirley thanked her mourners and explained how delightful
it was to  get it together  again, presumably referring to having her now dead
body join her long dead brain.
`,
	`You look like a million dollars.  All green and wrinkled.
`,
	`Your program is sick!  Shoot it and put it out of its memory.
`,
	`volcano, n.:
	A mountain with hiccups.
`,
	`To kick or not to kick...
		-- Somewhere on IRC, inspired by Shakespeare
`,
	`Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues
of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself
a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst
be so superfluous to demand the time of the day.  I wasted time and now doth
time waste me.
		-- William Shakespeare
`,
	`<sct> Anyone want the new supermount? :)
<klogd> whats new aboutit
<sct> klogd: It cleans whiter than white. :)
		-- Seen on #Linux
`,
	`Go climb a gravity well!
`,
	`Today s scientific question is: What in the world is electricity?

And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?
		-- Dave Barry,  What is Electricity? 
`,
	`Please recycle.
`,
	`No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of
absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream.
Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness
within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more.
Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and
doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone
of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.
		-- Shirley Jackson,  The Haunting of Hill House 
`,
	` May your future be limited only by your dreams. 
		-- Christa McAuliffe
`,
	`Thousands of days of civilians ... have produced a ... feeling for the
aesthetic modules --
`,
	`Never make any mistaeks.
		-- Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report
`,
	`Cursor, n.:
	One whose program will not run.
		-- Robb Russon
`,
	`A doctor was stranded with a lawyer in a leaky life raft in shark-infested
waters. The doctor tried to swim ashore but was eaten by the sharks. The
lawyer, however, swam safely past the bloodthirsty sharks.   Professional
courtesy,  he explained.
`,
	`I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a
fundamental error.  Be thankful you are not my student.  You would not get a
high grade for such a design :-)
		-- Andrew Tanenbaum to Linus Torvalds
`,
	`Ernest asks Frank how long he has been working for the company.
	 Ever since they threatened to fire me. 
`,
	`	Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart
a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
`,
	`Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
		-- William Shakespeare,  The Two Gentlemen of Verona 
`,
	`Compassion -- that s the one things no machine ever had.  Maybe it s
the one thing that keeps men ahead of them.
		-- McCoy,  The Ultimate Computer , stardate 4731.3
`,
	`	The programmers of old were mysterious and profound.  We cannot fathom
their thoughts, so all we do is describe their appearance.
	Aware, like a fox crossing the water.  Alert, like a general on the
battlefield.  Kind, like a hostess greeting her guests. Simple, like uncarved
blocks of wood.  Opaque, like black pools in darkened caves.
	Who can tell the secrets of their hearts and minds?
	The answer exists only in the Tao.
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`Squirming:
	Discomfort inflicted on young people by old people who see no
irony in their gestures.   Karen died a thousand deaths as her father
made a big show of tasting a recently manufactured bottle of wine
before allowing it to be poured as the family sat in Steak Hut.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`Historic Overdosing:
	To live in a period of time when too much seems to happen.
Major symptoms include addiction to newspapers, magazines, and TV news
broadcasts.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
		-- Voltaire
`,
	` Every Solidarity center had piles and piles of paper .... everyone was
eating paper and a policeman was at the door.  Now all you have to do is
bend a disk. 
- an anonymous member of the outlawed Polish trade union, Solidarity,
  commenting on the benefits of using computers in support of their movement
`,
	`Iowa State -- the high school after high school!
		-- Crow T. Robot
`,
	`	 I ll tell you what I know, then,  he decided.   The pin I m wearing
means I m a member of the IA.  That s Inamorati Anonymous.  An inamorato is
somebody in love.  That s the worst addiction of all. 
	 Somebody is about to fall in love,  Oedipa said,  you go sit with
them, or something? 
	 Right.  The whole idea is to get where you don t need it.  I was
lucky.  I kicked it young.  But there are sixty-year-old men, believe it or
not, and women even older, who might wake up in the night screaming. 
	 You hold meetings, then, like the AA? 
	 No, of course not.  You get a phone number, an answering service
you can call.  Nobody knows anybody else s name; just the number in case
it gets so bad you can t handle it alone.  We re isolates, Arnold.  Meetings
would destroy the whole point of it. 
		-- Thomas Pynchon,  The Crying of Lot 49 
`,
	` We scientists, whose tragic destiny it has been to make the methods of
annihilation ever more gruesome and more effective, must consider it our solemn
and transcendent duty to do all in our power in preventing these weapons from
being used for the brutal purpose for which they were invented. 
		-- Albert Einstein, Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, September 1948
`,
	`I have a hobby.  I have the world s largest collection of sea shells.  I keep
it scattered on beaches all over the world.  Maybe you ve seen some of it.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`If you look good and dress well, you don t need a purpose in life.
		-- Robert Pante, fashion consultant
`,
	`If you consistently take an antagonistic approach, however, people are
going to start thinking you re from New York.   :-)
		-- Larry Wall to Dan Bernstein in <10187@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`The primary function of the design engineer is to make things
difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
`,
	`To err is human, to moo bovine.
`,
	`A word to the wise is enough.
		-- Miguel de Cervantes
`,
	`My family history begins with me, but yours ends with you.
		-- Iphicrates
`,
	`strategy, n.:
	A comprehensive plan of inaction.
`,
	`The nicest thing about the Alto is that it doesn t run faster at night.
`,
	`<raptor> Adamel, i think the code you fixed of mine didn t work
<raptor> i must not have commited the working code
<Knghtbrd> raptor: like it s the first time THAT has ever happened  =p
`,
	`Some of the most interesting documents from Sweden s middle ages are the
old county laws (well, we never had counties but it s the nearest equivalent
I can find for  landskap ).  These laws were written down sometime in the
13th century, but date back even down into Viking times.  The oldest one is
the Vastgota law which clearly has pagan influences, thinly covered with some
Christian stuff.  In this law, we find a page about  lekare , which is the
Old Norse word for a performing artist, actor/jester/musician etc.  Here is
an approximate translation, where I have written  artist  as equivalent of
 lekare .
	 If an artist is beaten, none shall pay fines for it.  If an artist
	is wounded, one such who goes with hurdie-gurdie or travels with
	fiddle or drum, then the people shall take a wild heifer and bring
	it out on the hillside.  Then they shall shave off all hair from the
	heifer s tail, and grease the tail.  Then the artist shall be given
	newly greased shoes.  Then he shall take hold of the heifer s tail,
	and a man shall strike it with a sharp whip.  If he can hold her, he
	shall have the animal.  If he cannot hold her, he shall endure what
	he received, shame and wounds. 
`,
	`The five rules of Socialism:
	(1) Don t think.
	(2) If you do think, don t speak.
	(3) If you think and speak, don t write.
	(4) If you think, speak and write, don t sign.
	(5) If you think, speak, write and sign, don t be surprised.
		-- being told in Poland, 1987
`,
	`If you make people think they re thinking, they ll love you; but if you
really make them think they ll hate you.
`,
	`There are some micro-organisms that exhibit characteristics of both plants
and animals.  When exposed to light they undergo photosynthesis; and when
the lights go out, they turn into animals.  But then again, don t we all?
`,
	`Your aim is high and to the right.
`,
	`You auto buy now.
`,
	`Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.
		-- Marcus Aurelius
`,
	`I am a jelly donut.  I am a jelly donut.
`,
	`<Overfiend_> Overfiend s First Law of Package Quality: If the
             maintainer likes to spell part or all of his name in
             CAPS, the package will suck.
`,
	`Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.
		-- Lazarus Long
`,
	`Depends on how you define  always .  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <199710211647.JAA17957@wall.org>
`,
	`But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a
brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and
lived in New Jersey.  Edison s first major invention in 1877, was the
phonograph, which could soon be found in thousands of American homes, where
it basically sat until 1923, when the record was invented.  But Edison s
greatest achievement came in 1879, when he invented the electric company.
Edison s design was a brilliant adaptation of the simple electrical circuit:
the electric company sends electricity through a wire to a customer, then
immediately gets the electricity back through another wire, then (this is
the brilliant part) sends it right back to the customer again.

This means that an electric company can sell a customer the same batch of
electricity thousands of times a day and never get caught, since very few
customers take the time to examine their electricity closely. In fact the
last year any new electricity was generated in the United States was 1937;
the electric companies have been merely re-selling it ever since, which is
why they have so much free time to apply for rate increases.
		-- Dave Barry,  What is Electricity? 
`,
	`giraffiti:
	Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
`,
	`Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to
yourself,  There s no place like home. 
		-- Glynda the Good
`,
	`Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
		-- Euripides
`,
	`	A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a
little pebble on the beach.  The marriage counselor told him,  If you wish to
save your marriage, you d better be a little boulder. 
`,
	`Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
	We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
	Clean-favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
	And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
	 Good morning,  and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich -- yes, richer than a king --
	And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
	To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
	And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
	Went home and put a bullet through his head.
		-- E. A. Robinson,  Richard Cory 
`,
	`Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.
		-- Chazal
`,
	`Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of APL, I shall fear no
evil, for I can string six primitive monadic and dyadic operators together.
		-- Steve Higgins
`,
	`Show me a man who is a good loser and I ll show you a man who is playing
golf with his boss.
`,
	`BEWARE!  People acting under the influence of human nature.
`,
	`One planet is all you get.
`,
	`There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals
in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so
people who find nothing odd about it.
		-- Calvin Trillin
`,
	`IN MY OPINION anyone interested in improving himself should not rule out
becoming pure energy.
		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
`,
	`Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
`,
	`Hello, GORRY-O!!  I m a GENIUS from HARVARD!!
`,
	`	THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #12: LITHP

This otherwise unremarkable language is distinguished by the absence of
an  S  in its character set; users must substitute  TH .  LITHP is said
to be useful in protheththing lithtth.
`,
	`Sometimes you get an almost irresistible urge to go on living.
`,
	`Sam:  What s going on, Normie?
Norm: My birthday, Sammy.  Give me a beer, stick a candle in
      it, and I ll blow out my liver.
		-- Cheers, Where Have All the Floorboards Gone

Woody: Hey, Mr. P.  How goes the search for Mr. Clavin?
Norm:  Not as well as the search for Mr. Donut.
       Found him every couple of blocks.
		-- Cheers, Head Over Hill
`,
	`Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
`,
	`<Knghtbrd> RoboHak - okay, the patch isn t broken, but my brain
           apparently is
<wc> that s nothing new (;
<Knghtbrd> wc - hush.
<Knghtbrd> =>
`,
	`Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
		-- Gandhi
`,
	`You do not have mail.
`,
	`Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking
almost gently.  The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all
possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.
		-- James Cabell,  The Silver Stallion 
`,
	`If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something
to do with a shortage of flowers.
		-- Doug Larson

	[Not to mention, butterfly would be flutterby. Ed.]
`,
	`			Pittsburgh driver s test

(4) Exhaust gas is

	(a) beneficial.
	(b) not harmful.
	(c) toxic.
	(d) a punk band.

The correct answer is (b). The meddling Washington eco-freak communist
bureaucrats who say otherwise are liars.  (Message to those who answered (d).
Go back to California where you came from.  Your kind are not welcome here.)
`,
	`Peace be to this house, and all that dwell in it.
`,
	`DeVries  Dilemma:
	If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don t want
	hits the paper.
`,
	`* bma wonders if this will make the Knghtbrd .sig
`,
	`Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling
the walk before it stops snowing.
		-- Phyllis Diller

There is no need to do any housework at all.  After the first four years
the dirt doesn t get any worse.
		-- Quentin Crisp
`,
	`Marriage Ceremony:  An incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the
law being dragged into the affairs of your family.
		-- O. C. Ogilvie
`,
	`But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o  mice an  men
Gang aft a-gley,
An  lea e us nought but grief and pain
For promised joy.
		-- Robert Burns,  To a Mouse , 1785
`,
	`It is your destiny.
		-- Darth Vader
`,
	`Boy, get your head out of the stars above,
You get the maximum pleasure from a minimum of love.
Save your heart and let your body be enough,
To get the maximum pleasure from a minimum of love.
Save your heart and let your body be enough,
And get the maximum pleasure from a minimum of love.
		-- Mac Macinelli,  Minimum Love 
`,
	`Are your glasses mended with a strip of masking tape right over your nose?
Do you put pennies in the slots in your penny loafers?
Does your bow-tie flash  hey you kid  in red neon at parties?
Do you think pizza before noon is unhealthy?
Do you use the  greasy kid s stuff  to stick down your cowlick?
Do you wear a  nerd-pack  in your shirt pocket to keep the dozen
	or so pencils from marking the cloth?
Do you think Mary Jane is somebody s name?
Is illegal fishing something only a daring criminal would do?
Is Batman your hero?  Superman?  Green Lantern?  The Shadow?
Do you think girls who kiss on the first date are loose?

	Rate yourself on the nerd-o-matic scale. (1 point for each YES answer)
0-2  -- You are really hip, a real cool cat, a hoopy frood.
3-5  -- There is hope for you yet.
6-7  -- Uh-oh, trouble in River City.
8-10 -- Your immortal soul is in peril.
11+  -- Does suicide seem attractive?
`,
	`[32m题目:《过零丁洋》[m
[33m作者:文天祥（１２３６－１２８２）[m
辛苦遭逢起一经，干戈寥落四周星。
山河破碎风飘絮，身世浮沉雨打萍。
惶恐滩头说惶恐，零丁洋里叹零丁。
人生自古谁无死，留取丹心照汗青。
`,
	`I don t know why we re here, I say we all go home and free associate.
`,
	`If rabbits  feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
`,
	`Er, Tom, I hate to be the one to point this out, but your fix list
is starting to resemble a feature list.  You must be human or something.
		-- Larry Wall in <199801081824.KAA29602@wall.org>
`,
	`It doesn t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you ve
done and what you re going to do.
`,
	`Mr. Rockford?  This is Betty Joe Withers.  I got four shirts of yours from
the Bo Peep Cleaners by mistake.  I don t know why they gave me men s
shirts but they re going back.
		--  The Rockford Files 
`,
	`I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word  fair  in connection
with income tax policies.
		-- William F. Buckley
`,
	`After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
`,
	`Identify your visitor.
`,
	`  Of course I can keep secrets. It s the people I tell them to that
  can t keep them. -Anthony Haden-Guest
`,
	`Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.
		-- Henry Adams
`,
	`A comment on schedules:
 Ok, how long will it take?
   For each manager involved in initial meetings add one month.
   For each manager who says  data flow analysis  add another month.
   For each unique end-user type add one month.
   For each unknown software package to be employed add two months.
   For each unknown hardware device add two months.
   For each 100 miles between developer and installation add one month.
   For each type of communication channel add one month.
   If an IBM mainframe shop is involved and you are working on a non-IBM
      system add 6 months.
   If an IBM mainframe shop is involved and you are working on an IBM
      system add 9 months.
Round up to the nearest half-year.
--Brad Sherman
By the way, ALL software projects are done by iterative prototyping.
Some companies call their prototypes  releases , that s all.
`,
	`Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt
of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race.  He
brought death into the world.
		-- Mark Twain,  Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar 
`,
	`There is brutality and there is honesty.  There is no such thing as brutal
honesty.
`,
	`I stick my neck out for nobody.
		-- Humphrey Bogart,  Casablanca 
`,
	`Too Late
	A large number of turkies [sic] went to San Francisco yesterday by
the two o clock boats.  If their object in going down was to participate in
the Thanksgiving festivities of that city, they would arrive  the day after
the affair,  and of course be sadly disappointed thereby.
		-- Sacramento Daily Union, November 29, 1861
`,
	`if (rsfp = mypopen( /bin/mail root , w )) {     /* heh, heh */
		-- Larry Wall in perl.c from the perl source code
`,
	` Danger, you haven t seen the last of me! 
    No, but the first of you turns my stomach! 
		-- The Firesign Theatre s Nick Danger
`,
	`insecurity, n.:
	Finding out that you ve mispronounced for years one of your
	favorite words.

	Realizing halfway through a joke that you re telling it to
	the person who told it to you.
`,
	`I suppose some of the variation between Boston drivers and the rest of the
country is due to the progressive Massachusetts Driver Education Manual which
I happen to have in my top desk drawer.  Some of the Tips for Better Driving
are worth considering, to wit:

[131.16d]:
        Directional signals are generally not used except during vehicle
        inspection; however, a left-turn signal is appropriate when making
        a U-turn on a divided highway. 

[96.7b]:
        When paying tolls, remember that it is necessary to release the
        quarter a full 3 seconds before passing the basket if you are
        traveling more than 60 MPH. 

[110.13]:
        When traveling on a one-way street, stay to the right, so as not
        to interfere with oncoming traffic. 
`,
	`An economist is a man who would marry Farrah Fawcett-Majors for her money.
`,
	`A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.
Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game.
The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it
had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, preferably atop a nice
firm tuft of grass.
		-- Donald A. Metz
`,
	`Fortune finishes the great quotations, #12

	Those who can, do.  Those who can t, write the instructions.
`,
	`You got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues,
And you know it don t come easy ...
I don t ask for much, I only want trust,
And you know it don t come easy ...
`,
	`Breakpoint 1, main (argc=1, argv=0xbffffc40) at main.c:29
29   printf ( Welcome to GNU Hell!\n );
		--  GNU Libtool documentation 
`,
	`You can observe a lot just by watching.
		-- Yogi Berra
`,
	`Cohn s Law:
	The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less
	time you have to do anything.  Stability is achieved when you spend
	all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.
`,
	`Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
`,
	`We were happily married for eight months.  Unfortunately, we were married
for four and a half years.
		-- Nick Faldo
`,
	`MVS Air Lines:
The passengers all gather in the hangar, watching hundreds of technicians
check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has at
least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers; bigger models in the fleet
can have more engines than anyone can count and fly even more passengers
than there are on Earth. It is claimed to cost less per passenger mile to
operate these humungous planes than any other aircraft ever built, unless
you personally have to pay for the ticket. All the passengers scramble
aboard, as do the 200 technicians needed to keep it from crashing. The pilot
takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to
realise that the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors.
`,
	`Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.
		-- Harry Emerson Fosdick
`,
	`I realize that today you have a number of top female athletes such as
Martina Navratilova who can run like deer and bench-press Chevrolet
trucks.  But to be brutally frank, women as a group have a long way to
go before they reach the level of intensity and dedication to sports
that enables men to be such incredible jerks about it.
		-- Dave Barry,  Sports is a Drag 
`,
	`[32m题目:《书湖阴先生壁》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
茅檐长扫静无苔，花木成畦手自栽。
一水护田将绿绕，两山排闼送青来。
`,
	`Everyone who comes in here wants three things:
	1. They want it quick.
	2. They want it good.
	3. They want it cheap.
I tell  em to pick two and call me back.
		-- sign on the back wall of a small printing company in Delaware
`,
	`Sing hey! for the bath at close of day
That washes the weary mud away!
A loon is he that will not sing:
O! Water Hot is a noble thing!

	O! Sweet is the sound of falling rain,
	and the brook that leaps from hill to plain;
	but better than rain or rippling streams
	is Water Hot that smokes and steams.

O! Water cold we may pour at need
down a thirsty throat and be glad indeed;
but better is Beer, if drink we lack,
and Water Hot poured down the back.

	O! Water is fair that leaps on high
	in a fountain white beneath the sky;
	but never did fountain sound so sweet
	as splashing Hot Water with my feet!
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`Your sister swims out to meet troop ships.
`,
	`The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.
		-- Stanley Kubrick
`,
	`Jim, this is Matty down at Ralph s and Mark s.  Some guy named Angel
Martin just ran up a fifty buck bar tab.  And now he wants to charge it
to you.  You gonna pay it?
		--  The Rockford Files 
`,
	`	A novice was trying to fix a broken lisp machine by turning the
power off and on.  Knight, seeing what the student was doing spoke sternly,
 You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding
of what is going wrong.   Knight turned the machine off and on.  The
machine worked.
`,
	`The strong give up and move away, while the weak give up and stay.
`,
	`Don t have good ideas if you aren t willing to be responsible for them.
`,
	`compuberty, n:
	The uncomfortable period of emotional and hormonal changes a
	computer experiences when the operating system is upgraded and
	a sun4 is put online sharing files.
`,
	`Hickory Dickory Dock,
The mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
The others escaped with minor injuries.
`,
	`RAM wasn t built in a day.
`,
	`Captain Penny s Law:
	You can fool all of the people some of the time, and
	some of the people all of the time, but you Can t Fool Mom.
`,
	`Up against the net, redneck mother,
Mother who has raised your son so well;
He s seventeen and hackin  on a Macintosh,
Flaming spelling errors and raisin  hell...
`,
	`Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining
ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror
to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the
mid-fork of the Feather River before the completion of the Oroville Dam
in 1959.
		-- Grand Panjandrum s Special Award, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton
		   bad fiction contest.
`,
	` In corporate life, I think there are three important areas which contracts
can t deal with, the area of conflict, the area of change and area of reaching
potential.  To me a covenant is a relationship that is based on such things
as shared ideals and shared value systems and shared ideas and shared
agreement as to the processes we are going to use for working together.  In
many cases they develop into real love relationships. 
-- Max DePree, chairman and CEO of Herman Miller Inc.,  Herman Miller s
   Secrets of Corporate Creativity , The Wall Street Journal, May 3, 1988
`,
	`Not exactly as shown.
`,
	`Perfection

The perfect traveller leaves no trail to be followed;
The perfect speaker leaves no question to be answered;
The perfect accountant leaves no working to be completed;
The perfect container leaves no lock to be closed;
The perfect knot leaves no end to be ravelled.
So the sage nurtures all men
And abandons no one.
He accepts everything
And rejects nothing.
He attends to the smallest details.
For the strong must guide the weak;
The weak are raw material to the strong.
If the guide is not respected,
Or the material is not cared for,
Confusion will result, no matter how clever one is.
This is the secret of perfection:
When raw wood is carved, it becomes a tool;
When a man is employed, he becomes a tool;
The perfect carpenter leaves no wood to be carved.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`A word to the wise is enough.
		-- Miguel de Cervantes
`,
	`Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
`,
	`A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing
but together can decide that nothing can be done.
		-- Fred Allen
`,
	` ...Local prohibitions cannot block advances in military and commercial
 technology... Democratic movements for local restraint can only restrain
 the world s democracies, not the world as a whole. 
		-- K. Eric Drexler
`,
	`Diseases for Kisses (Hyperkarma):
	A deeply rooted belief that punishment will somehow always be
far greater than the crime: ozone holes for littering.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`Are we running light with overbyte?
`,
	`You will have a long and unpleasant discussion with your supervisor.
`,
	`Vila:  I think I have just made the biggest mistake of my life. 

Orac:  It is unlikely.  I would predict there are far greater mistakes
      waiting to be made by someone with your obvious talent for it. 
`,
	`Is a tattoo real, like a curb or a battleship?  Or are we suffering in Safeway?
`,
	`For 20 dollars, I ll give you a good fortune next time ...
`,
	`When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is
metaphysics.
		-- Voltaire
`,
	`The sum of the Universe is zero.
`,
	`Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`A friend is a present you give yourself.
		-- Robert Louis Stevenson
`,
	`Heavier than air flying machines are impossible.
		-- Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, c. 1895
`,
	`In India,  cold weather  is merely a conventional phrase and has come into
use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather
which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit.
	[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
		-- Ovid
`,
	`Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification
purposes only.
`,
	`We are not loved by our friends for what we are; rather, we are loved in
spite of what we are.
		-- Victor Hugo
`,
	`Burke s Postulates:
	Anything is possible if you don t know what you are talking about.
	Don t create a problem for which you do not have the answer.
`,
	`After a few boring years, socially meaningful rock  n  roll died out. It was
replaced by disco, which offers no guidance to any form of life more
advanced than the lichen family.
		-- Dave Barry,  Kids Today: They Don t Know Dum Diddly Do 
`,
	`Harold had never wanted a woman so much in his life, upon overhearing the
22-year-old beauty remark that he was too old and out of shape for her.  The
determined septuagenarian immediately embarked upon a rigorous self-improvement
program.  He had his face lifted, bought a toupee, ran five miles every day,
lifted weights and adopted a strict vegetarian diet.  Within months, the
rejuvenated man won the young woman s heart, and she agreed to marry him.
	On the way out of the chapel, however, Harold was fatally struck
by lightning.  Furious, he confronted Saint Peter at the pearly gates.   How
could you do this to me after all the pain I went through? 
	 To be honest, Harold,  Saint Peter sheepishly replied,  I didn t
recognize you. 
`,
	`Nothing is rich but the inexhaustible wealth of nature.
She shows us only surfaces, but she is a million fathoms deep.
		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
`,
	`Weekends were made for programming.
		-- Karl Lehenbauer
`,
	`If I set here and stare at nothing long enough, people might think
I m an engineer working on something.
		-- S. R. McElroy
`,
	`Nature makes boys and girls lovely to look upon so they can be
tolerated until they acquire some sense.
		-- William Phelps
`,
	`[32m题目:《春居杂兴》二首[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m

            其一

两株桃杏映篱斜，妆点商山副使家，
何事春风容不得，和莺吹折数枝花。

            其二

春云如兽复如禽，日照风吹浅又深。
谁道无心便容与，亦同翻覆小人心。
`,
	`In America today ... we have Woody Allen, whose humor has become so
sophisticated that nobody gets it any more except Mia Farrow.  All those who
think Mia Farrow should go back to making movies where the devil gets her
pregnant and Woody Allen should go back to dressing up as a human sperm,
please raise your hands.  Thank you.
		-- Dave Barry,  Why Humor is Funny 
`,
	`Eleventh Law of Acoustics:
	In a minimum-phase system there is an inextricable link between
	frequency response, phase response and transient response, as they
	are all merely transforms of one another.  This combined with
	minimalization of open-loop errors in output amplifiers and correct
	compensation for non-linear passive crossover network loading can
	lead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost.  However,
	of course, this all means jack when you listen to Pink Floyd.
`,
	`Dental health is next to mental health.
`,
	`Manly s Maxim:
	Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion
	with confidence.
`,
	`A general leading the State Department resembles a dragon commanding ducks.
		-- New York Times, Jan. 20, 1981
`,
	`You can t go home again, unless you set $HOME.
`,
	`Never accept an invitation from a stranger unless he gives you candy.
		-- Linda Festa
`,
	`[32m题目:《病起荆江亭即事》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
翰墨场中老伏波，菩提坊里病维摩。
近人积水无鸥鹭，时有归牛浮鼻过。

闭门觅句陈无己，对客挥毫秦少游。
正字不知温饱未，西风吹泪古藤州。
`,
	`Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
`,
	`Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
`,
	`cashtration, n.:
	The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.
`,
	`Fundamentally, there may be no basis for anything.
`,
	`	Work Hard.
	Rock Hard.
	Eat Hard.
	Sleep Hard.
	Grow Big.
	Wear Glasses If You Need  Em.
		-- The Webb Wilder Credo
`,
	`Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not
become a monster.  And when you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks
into you.
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
`,
	` Life is too important to take seriously. 
		-- Corky Siegel
`,
	`Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
		-- John Kenneth Galbraith
`,
	`There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.
		-- Marie Antoinette
`,
	`It has long been known that birds will occasionally build nests in the
manes of horses.  The only known solution to this problem is to sprinkle
baker s yeast in the mane, for, as we all know, yeast is yeast and nest
is nest, and never the mane shall tweet.
`,
	`The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an approaching train.
`,
	`Don t stop to stomp ants when the elephants are stampeding.
`,
	`Youth had been a habit of hers so long that she could not part with it.
`,
	`Never accept an invitation from a stranger unless he gives you candy.
		-- Linda Festa
`,
	`There s no heavier burden than a great potential.
`,
	`		Accidents cause History.

If Sigismund Unbuckle had taken a walk in 1426 and met Wat Tyler, the
Peasant s Revolt would never have happened and the motor car would not
have been invented until 2026, which would have meant that all the oil
could have been used for lamps, thus saving the electric light bulb and
the whale, and nobody would have caught Moby Dick or Billy Budd.
		-- Mike Harding,  The Armchair Anarchist s Almanac 
`,
	`Sam:   What s the good word, Norm?
Norm:  Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
Sam:   Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer...
Norm:  Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Sam:   One heartburn cocktail coming up.
		-- Cheers, I ll Gladly Pay You Tuesday

Sam:   Whaddya say, Norm?
Norm:  Well, I never met a beer I didn t drink.  And down it goes.
		-- Cheers, Love Thy Neighbor

Woody:  What s your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:   Boxer shorts and loose shoes.  But I ll settle for a beer.
		-- Cheers, The Bar Stoolie
`,
	`<Mercury> <CJ|BiZKiT-0-> i can upload to linux server tho
<Mercury> <CJ|BiZKiT-0-> i got a shell account on one
<Mercury> <Mercury> Whats it running?
<Mercury> <CJ|BiZKiT-0-> umm
<Mercury> <CJ|BiZKiT-0-> apache i think
<Mercury> Help, please help..
* Omni chuckles
`,
	`Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
		-- Lily Tomlin
`,
	`Virtues

Who understands the world is learned;
Who understands the self is enlightened.
Who conquers the world has strength;
Who conquers the self has harmony;
Who is determined has purpose.
Who is contented has wealth;
Who defends his home may long endure;
Who surrenders his home may long survive it.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Women s virtue is man s greatest invention.
		-- Cornelia Otis Skinner
`,
	`If all the seas were ink,
And all the reeds were pens,
And all the skies were parchment,
And all the men could write,
These would not suffice
To write down all the red tape
Of this Government.
`,
	`Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.
`,
	`Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
`,
	`Burn s Hog Weighing Method:
	(1) Get a perfectly symmetrical plank and balance it across a sawhorse.
	(2) Put the hog on one end of the plank.
	(3) Pile rocks on the other end until the plank is again perfectly
	    balanced.
	(4) Carefully guess the weight of the rocks.
		-- Robert Burns
`,
	`A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.
`,
	`Whatever is not nailed down is mine.  Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.
		-- Collis P. Huntingdon, railroad tycoon
`,
	`Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to love.
		-- Publius Vergilius Maro (Virgil)
`,
	`Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.
		-- Sidney Paternoster,  The Folly of the Wise 
`,
	`They wouldn t listen to the fact that I was a genius,
The man said  We got all that we can use ,
So I ve got those steadily-depressin , low-down, mind-messin ,
Working-at-the-car-wash blues.
		-- Jim Croce
`,
	`Honorable, adj.:
	Afflicted with an impediment in one s reach.  In legislative
	bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as,
	 the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur. 
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as if he had
lost his senses.  When he looks down, paraphrase the question back at him.
`,
	`Rube Walker:  Hey, Yogi, what time is it? 
Yogi Berra:   You mean now? 
`,
	`FOOLED you!  Absorb EGO SHATTERING impulse rays, polyester poltroon!!
`,
	`I am a bookaholic.  If you are a decent person, you will not sell me
another book.
`,
	`Dismissed.  That s a Star Fleet expression for,  Get out. 
		-- Capt. Kathryn Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager,  The Cloud 
`,
	`***** Special AI Seminar (abstract)

It has been widely recognized that AI programs require expert knowledge
in order to perform well in complex domains.  But knowledge alone is not
sufficient for some applications; wisdom is needed as well.  Accordingly,
we have developed a new approach to artificial intelligence which we call
 wisdom engineering .  As a test of our ideas, we have written IMMANUEL, a
wisdom based system for the task domain of western philosophical thought.
IMMANUEL was supplied initially with 200 wisdom units which contained wisdom
about such elementary concepts as mind, matter, being, nothingness, and so
forth.  IMMANUEL was then allowed to run freely, guided by the heuristic
rules contained in its heterarchically organized meta wisdom base.  IMMANUEL
succeeded in rediscovering most of the important philosophical ideas developed
in western culture over the course of the last 25 centuries, including those
underlying Plato s theory of government, Kant s metaphysics, Nietzsche s theory
of value, and Husserl s phenomenology.  In this seminar, we will describe
IMMANUEL s achievements and internal architecture.  We will also briefly
discuss our recent efforts to apply wisdom engineering to oil exploration.
`,
	` A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple
system that worked. 
		-- John Gall, _Systemantics_
`,
	`I think...  I think it s in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.
		-- Escher
`,
	`Old age is always fifteen years old than I am.
		-- B. Baruch
`,
	`Bowie s Theorem:
	If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
`,
	`Reporter:    What would you do if you found a million dollars? 
Yogi Berra:  If the guy was poor, I would give it back. 
`,
	`When the Apple IIc was introduced, the informative copy led off with a couple
of asterisked sentences:

	It weighs less than 8 pounds.*
	And costs less than $1,300.**

In tiny type were these  fuller explanations :

      * Don t asterisks make you suspicious as all get out?  Well, all
	this means is that the IIc alone weights 7.5 pounds. The power
	pack, monitor, an extra disk drive, a printer and several bricks
	will make the IIc weigh more. Our lawyers were concerned that you
	might not be able to figure this out for yourself.

     ** The FTC is concerned about price fixing. You can pay more if
	you really want to.  Or less.
		-- Forbes
`,
	`I put up my thumb... and it blotted out the planet Earth.
		-- Neil Armstrong
`,
	`I think you didn t get a reply because you used the terms  correct  and
 proper , neither of which has much meaning in Perl culture.  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <199706251602.JAA01786@wall.org>
`,
	`One of the most overlooked advantages to computers is...  If they do
foul up, there s no law against whacking them around a little.
		-- Joe Martin
`,
	`It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
`,
	`If you want to see card tricks, you have to expect to take cards.
		-- Harry Blackstone
`,
	`It s a poor workman who blames his tools.
`,
	`Potahto  Pictures Productions Presents:

	SPUD ROGERS OF THE 25TH CENTURY: Story of an Air Force potato that s
left in a rarely used chow hall for over two centuries and wakes up in a world
populated by soybean created imitations under the evil Dick Tater.  Thanks to
him, the soy-potatoes learn that being a  tater is where it s at.  Memorable
line,   Cause I m just a stud spud! 

	FRIDAY THE 13TH DINER SERIES: Crazed potato who was left in a
fryer too long and was charbroiled carelessly returns to wreak havoc on
unsuspecting, would-be teen camp cooks.  Scenes include a girl being stuffed
with chives and Fleischman s Margarine and a boy served up on a side dish
with beets and dressing.  Definitely not for the squeamish, or those on
diets that are driving them crazy.

	FRIDAY THE 13TH DINER II,III,IV,V,VI: Much, much more of the same.
Except with sour cream.
`,
	`Tax reform means  Don t tax you, don t tax me, tax that fellow behind
the tree. 
		-- Russell Long
`,
	`Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to
be appointed to do the work.
`,
	`The only disadvantage I see is that it would force everyone to get Perl.
Horrors.  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in  <8854@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`* Culus thinks we should go to trade shows and see how many people we
  can kill by throwing debian cds at them
`,
	`That s what she said.
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其一》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
鹫翎金仆姑，燕尾绣蝥弧。
独立扬新令，千营共一呼。
`,
	`If you took all of the grains of sand in the world, and lined
them up end to end in a row, you d be working for the government!
		-- Mr. Interesting
`,
	` Cogito ergo I m right and you re wrong. 
		-- Blair Houghton
`,
	`I left my WALLET in the BATHROOM!!
`,
	`   Fiery energy lanced out, but the beams struck an intangible wall between
the Gubru and the rapidly turning Earth ship.

    Water!  it shrieked as it read the spectral report.   A barrier of water
vapor!  A civilized race could not have found such a trick in the Library!
A civilized race could not have stooped so low!  A civilized race would not
have... 

   It screamed as the Gubru ship hit a cloud of drifting snowflakes.

		-- Startide Rising, by David Brin
`,
	`[32m《玉台体》[m
[33m作者：权德舆[m
昨夜裙带解，今朝ꆼ子飞。
铅华不可弃，莫是藁砧归。
`,
	`The magician is seated in his high chair and looks upon the world with favor.
He is at the height of his powers.  If he closes his eyes, he causes the world
to disappear.  If he opens his eyes, he causes the world to come back.  If
there is harmony within him, the world is harmonious.  If rage shatters his
inner harmony, the unity of the world is shattered.  If desire arises within
him, he utters the magic syllables that causes the desired object to appear.
His wishes, his thoughts, his gestures, his noises command the universe.
		-- Selma Fraiberg, _The Magic Years_, pg. 107
`,
	`The last time somebody said,  I find I can write much better with a word
processor. , I replied,  They used to say the same thing about drugs. 
		-- Roy Blount, Jr.
`,
	`Give me a sleeping pill and tell me your troubles.
`,
	`Deja vu:
	French., already seen; unoriginal; trite.
	Psychol., The illusion of having previously experienced
	something actually being encountered for the first time.
	Psychol., The illusion of having previously experienced
	something actually being encountered for the first time.
`,
	`Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you re at it.
`,
	`Holiday and other blackout periods apply.
`,
	`Antonym, n.:
	The opposite of the word you re trying to think of.
`,
	`Given sufficient time, what you put off doing today will get done by itself.
`,
	`A man with 3 wings and a dictionary is cousin to the turkey.
`,
	`I don t understand the HUMOUR of the THREE STOOGES!!
`,
	` You re just the sort of person I imagined marrying, when I was little...
except, y know, not green... and without all the patches of fungus. 
		-- Swamp Thing
`,
	`It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is
lightly greased.
		-- Kehlog Albran,  The Profit 
`,
	`The more data I punch in this card, the lighter it becomes, and the
lower the mailing cost.
		-- S. Kelly-Bootle,  The Devil s DP Dictionary 
`,
	`take forceful action:
	Do something that should have been done a long time ago.
`,
	`[32m《春雨》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
怅卧新春白袷衣，白门寥落意多违。
红楼隔雨相望冷，珠箔飘灯独自归。
远路应悲春ꆼ晚，残宵犹得梦依稀。
玉ꆼ缄札何由达，万里云罗一雁飞。
`,
	`divorce, n:
	A change of wife.
`,
	`A New Way of Taking Pills
	A physician one night in Wisconsin being disturbed by a burglar, and
having no ball or shot for his pistol, noiselessly loaded the weapon with
small, hard pills, and gave the intruder a  prescription  which he thinks
will go far towards curing the rascal of a very bad ailment.
		-- Nevada Morning Transcript, January 30, 1861
`,
	`Q:	How many college football players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:	Only one, but he gets three credits for it.
`,
	`How many QA engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

3: 1 to screw it in and 2 to say  I told you so  when it doesn t work.
`,
	`WRONG!
`,
	`Blue paint today.
		[Funny to Jack Slingwine, Guy Harris and Hal Pierson.  Ed.]
`,
	`If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a
Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per per gallon,
and explode once a year killing everyone inside.
		-- Robert Cringely, InfoWorld
`,
	`Too clever is dumb.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	`[32m题目:《汝坟贫女》[m
[33m作者:梅尧臣（１００２－１０６０）[m
汝坟贫家女，行哭音凄怆。
自言有老父，孤独无丁壮。
郡吏来何暴，官家不敢抗。
督遣勿稽留，龙种去携杖。
勤勤嘱四邻，幸愿相依傍。
适闻闾里归，问讯疑犹强。
果然寒雨中，僵死壤河上。
弱质无以托，横尸无以葬。
生女不如男，虽存何所当。
拊膺呼苍天，生死将奈向。
`,
	`<knghtbrd> rcw: Oh yay---I haven t been involved in a good flamewar in at
           least ... 5 minutes!
`,
	`Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
`,
	`Strangelove Reproduction:
	Having children to make up for the fact that one no longer
believes in the future.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`[In  Doctor  mode], I spent a good ten minutes telling Emacs what I
thought of it.  (The response was,  Perhaps you could try to be less
abusive. )
		-- Matt Welsh
`,
	`Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he
just whipped out a quarter?
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`Even a cabbage may look at a king.
`,
	`Minimum charge for booths.
`,
	`So so is good, very good, very excellent good:
and yet it is not; it is but so so.
		-- William Shakespeare,  As You Like It 
`,
	`How come financial advisors never seem to be as wealthy as they
claim they ll make you?
`,
	`Never put off till run-time what you can do at compile-time.
		-- D. Gries
`,
	`Porsche: there simply is no substitute.
		-- Risky Business
`,
	`Symptom:		Floor blurred.
Fault:			You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
Action Required:	Find someone who will buy you another beer.

Symptom:		Floor moving.
Fault:			You are being carried out.
Action Required:	Find out if you are taken to another bar.  If not,
			complain loudly that you are being kidnapped.
		-- Bar Troubleshooting
`,
	`To the landlord belongs the doorknobs.
`,
	`	THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #17: SARTRE

Named after the late existential philosopher, SARTRE is an extremely
unstructured language.  Statements in SARTRE have no purpose; they just are.
Thus SARTRE programs are left to define their own functions. SARTRE
programmers tend to be boring and depressed, and are no fun at parties.
`,
	`It would be possible to optimize some forms of goto, but I haven t
bothered.
		-- Larry Wall in <199709041935.MAA27136@wall.org>
`,
	`Go not unto the Usenet for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (and
quite a few things that just have nothing at all to do with the question).
		-- seen in a .sig somewhere
`,
	`Progress might have been all right once, but it s gone on too long.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	`Why do they call it baby-SITTING when all you do is run after them?
`,
	`I only know what I read in the papers.
		-- Will Rogers
`,
	`Jim, this is Janelle.  I m flying tonight, so I can t make our date, and
I gotta find a safe place for Daffy.  He loves you, Jim!  It s only two
days, and you ll see.  Great Danes are no problem!
		--  The Rockford Files 
`,
	`This kernel runs like a dessicated slug if you have more than 2G of memory
due to a 32-bit overflow.

		-- Andrew Morton, on Linux 2.6.8-rc1-mm1
`,
	`Where are the calculations that go with a calculated risk?
`,
	` I d love to go out with you, but I have to floss my cat. 
`,
	`I ve been on this lonely road so long,
Does anybody know where it goes,
I remember last time the signs pointed home,
A month ago.
		-- Carpenters,  Road Ode 
`,
	`The good die young -- because they see it s no use living if you ve got
to be good.
		-- John Barrymore
`,
	`The Marines:
	The few, the proud, the dead on the beach.
`,
	`Second Law of Final Exams:
	In your toughest final -- for the first time all year -- the most
	distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.
`,
	`Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia
because they were liars.  The truth was that Plato knew philosophers
couldn t compete successfully with poets.
		-- Kilgore Trout (Philip J. Farmer),  Venus on the Half Shell 
`,
	`I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
		-- Bill Hoest
`,
	`phosflink:
	To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out (as if, somehow, that
	will bring it back to life).
		--  Sniglets , Rich Hall & Friends
`,
	`And this is a table ma am.  What in essence it consists of is a horizontal
rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports,
which we call legs.  The tables in this laboratory, ma am, are as advanced
in design as one will find anywhere in the world.
		-- Michael Frayn,  The Tin Men 
`,
	` Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. 
		-- Karl, as he stepped behind the computer to reboot it, during a FAT
`,
	`Just because they are called  forbidden  transitions does not mean that they
are forbidden.  They are less allowed than allowed transitions, if you see
what I mean.
		-- From a Part 2 Quantum Mechanics lecture.
`,
	`He who hoots with owls by night cannot soar with eagles by day.
`,
	`They can t stop us... we re on a mission from God!
		-- The Blues Brothers
`,
	`Isn t it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?
		-- Herb Caen
`,
	`None love the bearer of bad news.
		-- Sophocles
`,
	`life, n.:
	Learning about people the hard way -- by being one.
`,
	`Do what you can to prolong your life, in the hope that someday you ll
learn what it s for.
`,
	`learning curve, n.:
	An astonishing new theory, discovered by management consultants
	in the 1970 s, asserting that the more you do something the
	quicker you can do it.
`,
	`Time goes, you say?
Ah no!
Time stays, *we* go.
		-- Austin Dobson
`,
	`There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear.
		-- 1 John 4:18
`,
	`I hear the sound that the machines make, and feel my heart break, just
for a moment.
`,
	`Wonderful day.  Your hangover just makes it seem terrible.
`,
	`I hate quotations.
		-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
`,
	`Give a woman an inch and she ll park a car in it.
`,
	`The onset and the waning of love make themselves felt in the uneasiness
experienced at being alone together.
		-- Jean de la Bruyere
`,
	`lighthouse, n.:
	A tall building on the seashore in which the government
	maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.
`,
	`Never kick a man, unless he s down.
`,
	`Take everything in stride.  Trample anyone who gets in your way.
`,
	`	A novice of the temple once approached the Chief Priest with a
question.
	 Master, does Emacs have the Buddha nature?  the novice asked.
	The Chief Priest had been in the temple for many years and could be
relied upon to know these things.  He thought for several minutes before
replying.
	 I don t see why not.  It s got bloody well everything else. 
	With that, the Chief Priest went to lunch.  The novice suddenly
achieved enlightenment, several years later.

Commentary:

His Master is kind,
Answering his FAQ quickly,
With thought and sarcasm.
`,
	`Also another major deciding factor is availability of source code.
It just gives everybody a warm fuzzy feeling knowing that there is
source code available to the product you are using.  It allows everybody
to improve on the product and fix bugs etc. sooner that the author(s)
would get the time/chance to.
		-- Atif Khan
`,
	`God, I ask for patience -- and I want it right now!
`,
	`We know next to nothing about virtually everything.  It is not necessary
to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know.
Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition
to crave knowledge.
		-- George Will
`,
	`To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three
parts dead.
		-- Bertrand Russell
`,
	`Show me a man who is a good loser and I ll show you a man who is playing
golf with his boss.
`,
	`What ever happened to happily ever after?
`,
	`Linux supports the notion of a command line or a shell for the same reason
that only children read books with only pictures in them. Language, be it
English or something else, is the only tool flexible enough to accomplish
a sufficiently broad range of tasks.
		-- Bill Garrett
`,
	`Give me a fish and I will eat today.

Teach me to fish and I will eat forever.
`,
	`** MAXIMUM TERMINALS ACTIVE.  TRY AGAIN LATER **
`,
	`  I never liked you, and I always will. -Samuel Goldwyn
`,
	`Like the ski resort of girls looking for husbands and husbands looking
for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem.
		-- Alan McKay
`,
	`Q:	What is purple and conquered the world?
A:	Alexander the Grape.
`,
	`War hath no fury like a non-combatant.
		-- Charles Edward Montague
`,
	`malpractice, n.:
	The reason surgeons wear masks.
`,
	`Building translators is good clean fun.
		-- T. Cheatham
`,
	`Why not? -- What? -- Why not? -- Why should I not send it? -- Why should I
not dispatch it? -- Why not? -- Strange!  I don t know why I shouldn t --
Well, then -- You will do me this favor. -- Why not? -- Why should you not
do it? -- Why not? -- Strange!  I shall do the same for you, when you want
me to.  Why not?  Why should I not do it for you?  Strange!  Why not? --
I can t think why not.
		-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, from a letter to his cousin Maria,
		    The Definitive Biography of PDQ Bach , Peter Schickele
`,
	`Always wear your seat belt.
`,
	`May a Misguided Platypus lay its Eggs in your Jockey Shorts.
`,
	`If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it,
we would be so simple we couldn t.
`,
	`You should go home.
`,
	`Don t stop to stomp ants when the elephants are stampeding.
`,
	`Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you re at it.
`,
	`No part of this message may reproduce, store itself in a retrieval system,
or transmit disease, in any form, without the permissiveness of the author.
		-- Chris Shaw
`,
	`modesty, n.:
	Being comfortable that others will discover your greatness.
`,
	`When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem starts to look
like a nail.
`,
	` I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis! 
		-- Royal Floyd Mengot (Klaus)
`,
	`Truth has no special time of its own.  Its hour is now -- always.
		-- Albert Schweitzer
`,
	`design, v.:
	What you regret not doing later on.
`,
	`... The Anarchists  [national] anthem is an international anthem that
consists of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune
of  Camptown Races .  Nobody has to stand up for it, nobody has to
listen to it, and, even better, nobody has to play it.
		-- Mike Harding,  The Armchair Anarchist s Almanac 
`,
	`As for the basic assumptions about individuality and self, this is the core
of what I like about cyberpunk. And it s the core of what I like about certain
pre-gibson neophile techie SF writers that certain folks here like to put
down. Not everyone makes the same assumptions. I haven t lost my mind... it s
backed up on tape.
		-- Peter da Silva
`,
	`Our little systems have their day;
They have their day and cease to be;
They are but broken lights of thee.
		-- Tennyson
`,
	`  I ve finally learned what  upward compatible  means.	It means we
  get to keep all our old mistakes. 
		-- Dennie van Tassel
`,
	`I ve never been drunk, but often I ve been overserved.
		-- George Gobel
`,
	`<Culus> dhd:  R you part of the secret debian overstructure?
<dhd> no. there is no secret debian overstructure.
<CosmicRay> although, now that somebody brought it up, let s start one
            :-)
<Knghtbrd> CosmicRay - why not, sounds like a fun way to spend the
           afternoon =D
`,
	`Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?
		-- Socrates  last words
`,
	`love, v.:
	I ll let you play with my life if you ll let me play with yours.
`,
	`Basic is a high level languish.  APL is a high level anguish.
`,
	`What they say:				What they mean:

A major technological breakthrough...	Back to the drawing board.
Developed after years of research	Discovered by pure accident.
Project behind original schedule due	We re working on something else.
	to unforeseen difficulties
Designs are within allowable limits	We made it, stretching a point or two.
Customer satisfaction is believed	So far behind schedule that they ll be
	assured					grateful for anything at all.
Close project coordination		We re gonna spread the blame, campers!
Test results were extremely gratifying	It works, and boy, were we surprised!
The design will be finalized...		We haven t started yet, but we ve got
						to say something.
The entire concept has been rejected	The guy who designed it quit.
We re moving forward with a fresh	We hired three new guys, and they re
	approach				kicking it around.
A number of different approaches...	We don t know where we re going, but
						we re moving.
Preliminary operational tests are	Blew up when we turned it on.
	inconclusive
Modifications are underway		We re starting over.
`,
	`If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.
		-- Oscar Wilde,  Phrases and Philosophies for the Use
		of the Young 
`,
	`Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.
`,
	`Miller s Slogan:
	Lose a few, lose a few.
`,
	`Let s call it an accidental feature.
		-- Larry Wall
`,
	`You are absolute plate-glass. I see to the very back of your mind.
		-- Sherlock Holmes
`,
	`Where there is much light there is also much shadow.
		-- Goethe
`,
	`Numeric stability is probably not all that important when you re guessing.
`,
	`<Z-Gryphon> If Unicron had a tech spec card, his motto would be  That
            which does not become part of the One shall become Void. 
<Z-Gryphon> which is sort of a grand-scale, apocalyptic version of  I
            am what I eat.  :)
`,
	`[32m《送杨氏女》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
永日方戚戚，出行复悠悠。
女子今有行，大江溯轻舟。
尔辈苦无恃，抚念益慈柔。
幼为长所育，两别泣不休。
对此结中肠，义往难复留。
自小阙内训，事姑贻我忧。
赖兹托令门，任恤庶无尤。
贫俭诚所尚，资从岂待周。
孝恭遵妇道，容止顺其猷。
别离在今晨，见尔当何秋。
居闲始自遣，临感忽难收。
归来视幼女，零泪缘缨流。
`,
	`My father, a good man, told me,  Never lose your ignorance; you cannot
replace it. 
		-- Erich Maria Remarque
`,
	`You re working under a slight handicap.  You happen to be human.
`,
	`Today s thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new
cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream.  Join us soon for more
spectacular adventure starring...  Tippy, the Wonder Dog!
		-- Bob & Ray
`,
	`Men still remember the first kiss after women have forgotten the last.
`,
	`... we must counterpose the overwhelming judgment provided by consistent
observations and inferences by the thousands.  The earth is billions of
years old and its living creatures are linked by ties of evolutionary
descent.  Scientists stand accused of promoting dogma by so stating, but
do we brand people illiberal when they proclaim that the earth is neither
flat nor at the center of the universe?  Science *has* taught us some
things with confidence!  Evolution on an ancient earth is as well
established as our planet s shape and position.  Our continuing struggle
to understand how evolution happens (the  theory of evolution ) does not
cast our documentation of its occurrence -- the  fact of evolution  --
into doubt.
		-- Stephen Jay Gould,  The Verdict on Creationism ,
		   The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII No. 2.
`,
	`A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions
your wife asks you for nothing.
		-- Joey Adams
`,
	`	THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #18: FIFTH

FIFTH is a precision mathematical language in which the data types
refer to quantity.  The data types range from CC, OUNCE, SHOT, and
JIGGER to FIFTH (hence the name of the language), LITER, MAGNUM and
BLOTTO.  Commands refer to ingredients such as CHABLIS, CHARDONNAY,
CABERNET, GIN, VERMOUTH, VODKA, SCOTCH, and WHATEVERSAROUND.

The many versions of the FIFTH language reflect the sophistication and
financial status of its users.  Commands in the ELITE dialect include
VSOP and LAFITE, while commands in the GUTTER dialect include HOOTCH
and RIPPLE. The latter is a favorite of frustrated FORTH programmers
who end up using this language.
`,
	` I don t believe in sweeping social change being manifested by one person,
unless he has an atomic weapon. 
		-- Howard Chaykin
`,
	`Horngren s Observation:
	Among economists, the real world is often a special case.
`,
	`Caveats: it s GNOME, be afraid, be very afraid of the Depends line
		-- James Troup
`,
	`If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?
`,
	`If you don t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!
`,
	`My friend has a baby.  I m writing down all the noises he makes so
later I can ask him what he meant.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`Try to be the best of whatever you are, even if what you are is no good.
`,
	`Measure with a micrometer.  Mark with chalk.  Cut with an axe.
`,
	`We re fighting against humanism, we re fighting against liberalism...
we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying
our nation today...our battle is with Satan himself.
		-- Jerry Falwell
`,
	`A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.
Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game.
The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it
had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, preferably atop a nice
firm tuft of grass.
		-- Donald A. Metz
`,
	`Are there those in the land of the brave
Who can tell me how I should behave
	When I am disgraced
	Because I erased
	A file I intended to save?
`,
	`MSDOS didn t get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years
of careful development.
		-- dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca
`,
	`If they were so inclined, they could impeach him because they don t like
his necktie.
		-- Attorney General William Saxbe
`,
	`You will inherit millions of dollars.
`,
	`Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
`,
	`The best way to get rid of worries is to let them die of neglect.
`,
	`I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the
morning.  A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for
the train to come in, he said to me:  Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don t want to
invade your privacy, but I have a bet with a friend of mine.  Who composed
the opening theme music of  Omnibus ?  My friend said Virgil Thomson.   I
asked him,  What do you say?  He replied,  I say Aaron Copeland.  I said,
 You re right.   The porter said,   I knew Thomson doesn t write counterpoint
that way.   I told that to a network president, and he was deeply unimpressed.
		-- Alistair Cooke
`,
	`The Vet Who Surprised A Cow
	In the course of his duties in August 1977, a Dutch veterinary
surgeon was required to treat an ailing cow.  To investigate its internal
gases he inserted a tube into that end of the animal not capable of facial
expression and struck a match.  The jet of flame set fire first to some
bales of hay and then to the whole farm causing damage estimate at L45,000.
The vet was later fined L140 for starting a fire in a manner surprising to
the magistrates.  The cow escaped with shock.
		-- Stephen Pile,  The Book of Heroic Failures 
`,
	`I have a dog; I named him Stay.  So when I d go to call him, I d say,  Here,
Stay, here...  but he got wise to that.  Now when I call him he ignores me
and just keeps on typing.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`There is in certain living souls
A quality of loneliness unspeakable,
So great it must be shared
As company is shared by lesser beings.
Such a loneliness is mine; so know by this
That in immensity
There is one lonelier than you.
`,
	`No passes accepted for this engagement.
`,
	`Were these parsnips CORRECTLY MARINATED in TACO SAUCE?
`,
	`The days are all empty and the nights are unreal.
`,
	`A new supply of round tuits has arrived and are available from Mary.
Anyone who has been putting off work until they got a round tuit now
has no excuse for further procrastination.
`,
	`There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly
divide the people of the world into two classes and those who do not.
		-- Robert Benchley
`,
	`You will be successful in love.
`,
	`Corruption is not the #1 priority of the Police Commissioner.  His job
is to enforce the law and fight crime.
		-- P. B. A. President E. J. Kiernan
`,
	`[...] or some clown changed the chips on a board and not its name.
(Don t laugh!  Look at the SMC etherpower for that.)
		-- from /usr/src/linux/MAINTAINERS
`,
	`Given my druthers, I d druther not.
`,
	`[32m题目:《书愤》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
早岁那知世事艰，中垢北望气如山。
楼船夜雪瓜洲渡，铁马秋风大散关。
塞上长城空自许，镜中衰鬓已先斑。
出师一表真名世，千载谁堪伯仲间。
`,
	`God created woman.  And boredom did indeed cease from that moment --
but many other things ceased as well.  Woman was God s second mistake.
		-- Nietzsche
`,
	`Canada Bill Jones s Motto:
	It s morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Canada Bill Jones s Supplement:
	A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
`,
	`Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
`,
	`They are called computers simply because computation is the only significant
job that has so far been given to them.
`,
	`But what can you do with it?  -- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user partner.
(Submitted by Andy Pearce, ajp@hpopd.pwd.hp.com)
`,
	`Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted;
persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting
to find a plot in it will be shot.  By Order of the Author
		-- Mark Twain,  The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn 
`,
	`I have travelled the length and breadth of this country, and have talked with
the best people in business administration.  I can assure you on the highest
authority that data processing is a fad and won t last out the year.
		-- Editor in charge of business books at Prentice-Hall
		   publishers, responding to Karl V. Karlstrom (a junior
		   editor who had recommended a manuscript on the new
		   science of data processing), c. 1957
`,
	` Regardless of the legal speed limit, your Buick must be operated at
speeds faster than 85 MPH (140kph). 
		-- 1987 Buick Grand National owners manual.
`,
	`No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for
signs of improvement.
		-- Florida Scott-Maxwell
`,
	`Not one hundred percent efficient, of course ... but nothing ever is.
		-- Kirk,  Metamorphosis , stardate 3219.8
`,
	`The words fly away, the writings remain.
`,
	`Real Users are afraid they ll break the machine -- but they re never
afraid to break your face.
`,
	`Do not drink coffee in early A.M.  It will keep you awake until noon.
`,
	`... the HIGHWAY is made out of LIME JELLO and my HONDA is a barbequeued
OYSTER!  Yum!
`,
	`Now it s time to say goodbye
To all our company...
M-I-C	(see you next week!)
K-E-Y	(Why?  Because we LIKE you!)
M-O-U-S-E.
`,
	`Ha. I say let them try -- even vi+perl couldn t match the power of an
editor which is, after all, its own OS.  ;-)
		-- Johnie Ingram on debian-devel, about linking vim with libperl.so
`,
	`Only way to run a proper userspace on hypersparcs with 2.6.x is to boot into
busybox, nfsmount a system image and then repeatedly try to run things until
you get lucky with DMA...

		-- Ciaran McCreesh, on Linux 2.6.x with HyperSPARC CPUs
`,
	`Even God lends a hand to honest boldness.
		-- Menander
`,
	`Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket Bibles which are on very
very thin paper.
`,
	`Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
`,
	`Power is danger.
		-- The Centurion,  Balance of Terror , stardate 1709.2
`,
	`Whistler s mother is off her rocker.
`,
	`The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
		-- William Shakespeare,  The Merchant of Venice 
`,
	`The autodecrement is not magical.
		-- Larry Wall in the perl man page
`,
	`And if sometime, somewhere, someone asketh thee,
 Who kilt thee? , tell them it  twas the Doones of Bagworthy!
`,
	`When you were born, a big chance was taken for you.
`,
	`Virtue is not left to stand alone.  He who practices it will have neighbors.
		-- Confucius
`,
	`If you want to put yourself on the map, publish your own map.
`,
	`He didn t run for reelection.   Politics brings you into contact with all
the people you d give anything to avoid,  he said.  I m staying home. 
		-- Garrison Keillor,  Lake Wobegone Days 
`,
	`Lemmings don t grow older, they just die.
`,
	`Ban the bomb.  Save the world for conventional warfare.
`,
	`love, n.:
	When you like to think of someone on days that begin with a morning.
`,
	`Insomnia isn t anything to lose sleep over.
`,
	`At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find
at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
`,
	`Do clones have navels?
`,
	`	A young married couple had their first child.  Their original pride
and joy slowly turned to concern however, for after a couple of years the
child had never uttered any form of speech.  They hired the best speech
therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, all to no avail.  The child simply refused
to speak.  One morning when the child was five, while the husband was reading
the paper, and the wife was feeding the dog, the little kid looks up from
his bowl and said,  My cereal s cold. 
	The couple is stunned.  The man, in tears, confronts his son.   Son,
after all these years, why have you waited so long to say something? .
	Shrugs the kid,  Everything s been okay  til now .
`,
	`It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
`,
	`HAIR TONICS, please!!
`,
	`Churchill s Commentary on Man:
	Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
	but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
`,
	`The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be
regarded as a criminal offence.
		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
`,
	`The pollution s at that awkward stage.  Too thick to navigate and too
thin to cultivate.
		-- Doug Sneyd
`,
	`Q:	What is the sound of one cat napping?
A:	Mu.
`,
	`Nothing is faster than the speed of light ...

To prove this to yourself, try opening the refrigerator door before the
light comes on.
`,
	`I m not afraid of death -- I just don t want to be there when it happens.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`The Great Movie Posters:

HOODLUMS FROM ANOTHER WORLD ON A RAY-GUN RAMPAGE!
		-- Teenagers from Outher Space (1959)

Which will be Her Mate... MAN OR BEAST?
Meet Velda -- the Kind of Woman -- Man or Gorilla would kill... to Keep.
		-- Untamed Mistress (1960)

NOW AN ALL-MIGHTY ALL-NEW MOTION PICTURE BRINGS THEM TOGETHER FOR THE
FIRST TIME...  HISTORY S MOST GIGANTIC MONSTERS IN COMBAT ATOP MOUNT FUJI!
		-- King Kong vs. Godzilla (1963)
`,
	`Murder is always a mistake -- one should never do anything one cannot
talk about after dinner.
		-- Oscar Wilde,  The Picture of Dorian Gray 
`,
	`	A boy spent years collecting postage stamps.  The girl next door bought
an album too, and started her own collection.   Dad, she buys everything I ve
bought, and it s taken all the fun out of it for me.  I m quitting.   Don t,
son, remember,  Imitation is the sincerest form of philately.  
`,
	`Contest void where prohibited by law.
`,
	`... it is easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the
sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all.  In other
words... their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their
superficial design flaws.
		-- The Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy, on the products
	           of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
`,
	`A person who is more than casually interested in computers should be well
schooled in machine language, since it is a fundamental part of a computer.
		-- Donald Knuth
`,
	`The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do
what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with
them while they do it.
		-- Theodore Roosevelt
`,
	`Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`I have lots of things in my pockets;
None of them is worth anything.
Sociopolitical whines aside,
Gan you give me, gratis, free,
The price of half a gallon
Of Gallo extra bad
And most of the bus fare home.
`,
	` How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? 
    FIFTEEN!!  YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? 
`,
	`Age, n.:
	That period of life in which we compound for the vices that we
	still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise
	to commit.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	` As I was walking among the fires of Hell, delighted with the enjoyments of
 Genius; which to Angels look like torment and insanity.  I collected some of
 their Proverbs...  - Blake,  The Marriage of Heaven and Hell 

`,
	`A yawn is a silent shout.
		-- G. K. Chesterton
`,
	`The truth about a woman often lasts longer than the woman is true.
`,
	`There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.
		-- Paul Shepard
`,
	`Fudd s First Law of Opposition:
	Push something hard enough and it will fall over.
`,
	`pension:
	A federally insured chain letter.
`,
	`A man always needs to remember one thing about a beautiful woman.

Somewhere, somebody s tired of her.
`,
	`The fashionable drawing rooms of London have always been happy to accept
outsiders -- if only on their own, albeit undemanding terms.  That is to
say, artists, so long as they are not too talented, men of humble birth,
so long as they have since amassed several million pounds, and socialists
so long as they are Tories.
		-- Christopher Booker
`,
	`I ve got all the money I ll ever need if I die by 4 o clock.
		-- Henny Youngman
`,
	`I already have too much problem with people thinking the efficiency of
a perl construct is related to its length.  On the other hand, I m
perfectly capable of changing my mind next week...  :-) --lwall
`,
	`The first thing we do, let s kill all the lawyers.
		-- Wm. Shakespeare,  Henry VI , Part IV
`,
	`It is bad luck to be superstitious.
		-- Andrew W. Mathis
`,
	`By rule #1, 5.005 should always allow localization of lexical @_ . . .
		-- Larry Wall in <199710011704.KAA21395@wall.org>
`,
	` One of the problems I ve always had with propaganda pamphlets is that they re
real boring to look at.  They re just badly designed.  People from the left
often are very well-intended, but they never had time to take basic design
classes, you know? 
		-- Art Spiegelman
`,
	`If imprinted foil seal under cap is broken or missing when purchased, do not
use.
`,
	`Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
`,
	`Rudeness is a weak man s imitation of strength.
`,
	`If the designers of X-window built cars, there would be no fewer than five
steering wheels hidden about the cockpit, none of which followed the same
principles -- but you d be able to shift gears with your car stereo.  Useful
feature, that.
		-- From the programming notebooks of a heretic, 1990.
`,
	`This bag is recyclable.
`,
	`	Proposed Country & Western Song Titles
She Ain t Much to See, but She Looks Good Through the Bottom of a Glass
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, I Wonder Who s I d Find On You
I m Ashamed to be Here, but Not Ashamed Enough to Leave
It s Commode Huggin  Time In The Valley
If You Want to Keep the Beer Real Cold, Put It Next to My Ex-wife s Heart
If You Get the Feeling That I Don t Love You, Feel Again
I m Ashamed To Be Here, But Not Ashamed Enough To Leave
It s the Bottle Against the Bible in the Battle For Daddy s Soul
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Miss Him
Don t Cut Any More Wood, Baby,  Cause I ll Be Comin  Home With A Load
I Loved Her Face, But I Left Her Behind For You
`,
	`You ll feel devilish tonight.  Toss dynamite caps under a flamenco dancer s
heel.
`,
	`Conversation, n.:
	A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath
	is called the listener.
`,
	`America!!  I saw it all!!  Vomiting!  Waving!  JERRY FALWELLING into
your void tube of UHF oblivion!!  SAFEWAY of the mind ...
`,
	` The road to hell is paved with melting snowballs. 
		-- Larry Wall in  <1992Jul2.222039.26476@netlabs.com>
`,
	`QOTD:
	 I m just a boy named  su ... 
`,
	`4.2 BSD UNIX #57: Sun Jun 1 23:02:07 EDT 1986

You swing at the Sun.  You miss.  The Sun swings.  He hits you with a
575MB disk!  You read the 575MB disk.  It is written in an alien
tongue and cannot be read by your tired Sun-2 eyes.  You throw the
575MB disk at the Sun.  You hit!  The Sun must repair your eyes.  The
Sun reads a scroll.  He hits your 130MB disk!  He has defeated the
130MB disk!  The Sun reads a scroll.  He hits your Ethernet board!  He
has defeated your Ethernet board!  You read a scroll of  postpone until
Monday at 9 AM .  Everything goes dark...
		-- /etc/motd, cbosgd
`,
	`Menu, n.:
	A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.
`,
	`Children aren t happy without something to ignore,
And that s what parents were created for.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	` The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was. 
		-- Walt West
`,
	`Stop me, before I kill again!
`,
	`American by birth; Texan by the grace of God.
`,
	`You d best be snoozin ,  cause you don t be gettin  no work done at 5 a.m.
anyway.
		-- From the wall of the Wurster Hall stairwell
`,
	`FORTUNE S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION: #14
What to do...
    if reality disappears?
	Hope this one doesn t happen to you.  There isn t much that you
	can do about it.  It will probably be quite unpleasant.

    if you meet an older version of yourself who has invented a time
    traveling machine, and has come from the future to meet you?
	Play this one by the book.  Ask about the stock market and cash in.
	Don t forget to invent a time traveling machine and visit your
	younger self before you die, or you will create a paradox.  If you
	expect this to be tricky, make sure to ask for the principles
	behind time travel, and possibly schematics.  Never, NEVER, ask
	when you ll die, or if you ll marry your current SO.
`,
	`I m encased in the lining of a pure pork sausage!!
`,
	`Love is staying up all night with a sick child, or a healthy adult.
`,
	`The test of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
		-- Aldo Leopold
`,
	`We come to bury DOS, not to praise it.
(Paul Vojta, vojta@math.berkeley.edu, paraphrasing a quote of Shakespeare)
`,
	`Warning: Listening to WXRT on April Fools  Day is not recommended for
those who are slightly disoriented the first few hours after waking up.
		-- Chicago Reader 4/22/83
`,
	`<Crow_> hmm, is there a --now-dammit option for exim?
`,
	`Never let your schooling interfere with your education.
`,
	`Hmmm ... A hash-singer and a cross-eyed guy were SLEEPING on a deserted
island, when ...
`,
	`It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
`,
	`I read Playboy for the same reason I read National Geographic.  To see
the sights I m never going to visit.
`,
	`Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
		-- Thomas Jones
`,
	`In Hollywood, all marriages are happy.  It s trying to live together
afterwards that causes the problems.
		-- Shelley Winters
`,
	`The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed from available
data.  Our authority is Isaiah 30:26,  Moreover, the light of the Moon
shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold,
as the light of seven days.   Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much
radiation as we do from the Sun, and in addition seven times seven (49) times
as much as the Earth does from the Sun, or fifty times in all.  The light we
receive from the Moon is one ten-thousandth of the light we receive from the
Sun, so we can ignore that.  With these data we can compute the temperature
of Heaven.  The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where
the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation,
i.e., Heaven loses fifty times as much heat as the Earth by radiation.  Using
the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E)^4 = 50, where E is the absolute
temperature of the earth (~300K), gives H as 798K (525C).  The exact
temperature of Hell cannot be computed, but it must be less than 444.6C, the
temperature at which brimstone or sulphur changes from a liquid to a gas.
Revelations 21:8 says  But the fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their
part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.   A lake of molten
brimstone means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point,
or 444.6C  (Above this point it would be a vapor, not a lake.)  We have,
then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than Hell at 445C.
		--  Applied Optics , vol. 11, A14, 1972
`,
	`Process promptly.
`,
	`They re only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!
`,
	`Don t drink when you drive -- you might hit a bump and spill it.
`,
	`I really hate this damned machine
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does quite what I want
But only what I tell it.
`,
	`<JHM> AIX - the Unix from the universe where Spock has a beard.
`,
	`Holy Dilemma!  Is this the end for the Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder?
Will the Joker and the Riddler have the last laugh?

	Tune in again tomorrow:
	same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!
`,
	`[Norm is angry.]

Woody: What can I get you, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:  Clifford Clavin s head.
		-- Cheers, The Triangle

Sam:  Hey, what s happening, Norm?
Norm: Well, it s a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy,
      and I m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.
		-- Cheers, The Peterson Principle

Sam:  How s life in the fast lane, Normie?
Norm: Beats me, I can t find the on-ramp.
		-- Cheers, Diane Chambers Day
`,
	`That s no moon...
		-- Obi-wan Kenobi
`,
	`Maybe you can t buy happiness, but these days you can certainly charge it.
`,
	`[32m《长相思・其一》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
长相思，在长安。
络纬秋啼金井阑，微霜凄凄簟色寒。
孤灯不明思欲绝，卷帷望月空长叹。
美人如花隔云端，上有青冥之高天，下有渌水之波澜。
天长地远魂飞苦，梦魂不到关山难。
长相思，摧心肝。
`,
	`Use only in a well-ventilated area.
`,
	` Just Say No.    - Nancy Reagan

 No.             - Ronald Reagan
`,
	`Sentenced to two years hard labor (for sodomy), Oscar Wilde stood handcuffed
in driving rain waiting for transport to prison.   If this is the way Queen
Victoria treats her prisoners,  he remarked,  she doesn t deserve to have
any. 
`,
	`Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
		--  Mark Twain, Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar 
`,
	`Good night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate s
new lover.
`,
	`Your wise men don t know how it feels
To be thick as a brick.
		-- Jethro Tull,  Thick As A Brick 
`,
	`Now KEN and BARBIE are PERMANENTLY ADDICTED to MIND-ALTERING DRUGS ...
`,
	`Know Thy User.
`,
	`cursor address, n:
	 Hello, cursor! 
		-- Stan Kelly-Bootle,  The Devil s DP Dictionary 
`,
	`[32m《西施咏》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
艳色天下重，西施宁久微。
朝为越溪女，暮作吴宫妃。
贱日岂殊众，贵来方悟稀。
邀人傅粉粉，不自著罗衣。
君宠益娇态，君怜无是非。
当时浣纱伴，莫得同车归。
持谢邻家子，效颦安可希。
`,
	`I m sure that that could be indented more readably, but I m scared of
the awk parser.
		-- Larry Wall in <6849@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth
and they never believe me.
		-- Camillo Di Cavour
`,
	`Fast ship?  You mean you ve never heard of the Millennium Falcon?
		-- Han Solo
`,
	`The Worst Car Hire Service
	When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck
as a joke.  Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up
shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California.
	He put on a cap and looked forward to watching people s faces as he
conducted them round the choice of bumperless, dented junkmobiles.
	To his lasting surprise there was an insatiable demand for them and
he now has 26 thriving branches all over America.   People like driving
round in the worst cars available,  he said.  Of course they do.
	 If a driver damages the side of a car and is honest enough to
admit it, I tell him,  Forget it .  If they bring a car back late we
overlook it.  If they ve had a crash and it doesn t involve another vehicle
we might overlook that too. 
	 Where s the ashtray?  asked one Los Angeles wife, as she settled
into the ripped interior.   Honey,  said her husband,  the whole car s the
ash tray. 
		-- Stephen Pile,  The Book of Heroic Failures 
`,
	`Is that really YOU that is reading this?
`,
	`To err is human, to forgive, beyond the scope of the Operating System.
`,
	`My My, hey hey
Rock and roll is here to stay	The king is gone but he s not forgotten
It s better to burn out		This is the story of a Johnny Rotten
Than to fade away		It s better to burn out than it is to rust
My my, hey hey			The king is gone but he s not forgotten

It s out of the blue and into the black		Hey hey, my my
They give you this, but you pay for that	Rock and roll can never die
And once you re gone you can never come back	There s more to the picture
When you re out of the blue			Than meets the eye
And into the black
		-- Neil Young
		 My My, Hey Hey (Out of the Blue), Rust Never Sleeps 
`,
	`MIT:
	The Georgia Tech of the North
`,
	`Winning isn t everything.  It s the only thing.
		-- Vince Lombardi
`,
	`Overconfidence breeds error when we take for granted that the game will
continue on its normal course; when we fail to provide for an unusually
powerful resource -- a check, a sacrifice, a stalemate.  Afterwards the
victim may wail,  But who could have dreamt of such an idiotic-looking move? 
		-- Fred Reinfeld,  The Complete Chess Course 
`,
	`Gunter s Airborne Discoveries:
	(1)  When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft,
	     the aircraft will encounter turbulence.
	(2)  The strength of the turbulence
	     is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.
`,
	`This is for all ill-treated fellows
	Unborn and unbegot,
For them to read when they re in trouble
	And I am not.
		-- A. E. Housman
`,
	`management, n.:
	The art of getting other people to do all the work.
`,
	`But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.
		-- William Shakespeare,  Julius Caesar 
`,
	`<Palisade> knght, sheesh, are you pasting my words out of context in
           #debian or something?
<Palisade> ;)
<Knghtbrd> no, but I probably should be  ;>
<Palisade> d oh!
`,
	`Violence is molding.
`,
	`Federal law prohibits dispensing without a prescription.
`,
	`Yawd [noun, Bostonese]:  the campus of Have Id.
		-- Webster s Unafraid Dictionary
`,
	`share, n.:
	To give in, endure humiliation.
`,
	`We must know, we will know.
		-- David Hilbert
`,
	`All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.
		-- Ashleigh Brilliant
`,
	`Every time I look at you I am more convinced of Darwin s theory.
`,
	`I love being married.  It s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
		-- Rita Rudner
`,
	`Virtue does not always demand a heavy sacrifice -- only the willingness
to make it when necessary.
		-- Frederick Dunn
`,
	`Who to himself is law no law doth need,
offends no law, and is a king indeed.
		-- George Chapman
`,
	`(1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
(2) Great generals are forewarned.
(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
(4) Four is an even number.
(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
	Therefore, all horses are black.
`,
	`HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:
	#15 Your pet rock snaps at you.
`,
	`Sic transit gloria mundi.
	[So passes away the glory of this world.]
		-- Thomas  a Kempis
`,
	`Don t abandon hope: your Tom Mix decoder ring arrives tomorrow.
`,
	`You will think of something funnier than this to add to the fortunes.
`,
	`The most effective has probably been Linux/8086 - that was a joke
that got out of hand.  So far out of hand in fact its almost approaching
usability because other folks thought it worth doing - Alistair Riddoch
especially.
		-- Alan Cox
`,
	`Use in well-ventilated area.
`,
	`We ve upped our standards, so up yours!
`,
	`When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm
yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him.

Step number 3 is of particular importance.  If you leave the guy alive
out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay your generosity of spirit
by suing you for causing his subsequent paraplegia and seek to force you
to support him for the rest of his rotten life.  In court he will plead
that he was depressed because society had failed him, and that he was
looking for Mother Teresa for comfort and to offer his services to the
poor.  In that lawsuit, you will lose.  If, on the other hand, you kill
him, the most that you can expect is that a relative will bring a wrongful
death action. You will have two advantages: first, there be only your
story; forget Mother Teresa.  Second, even if you lose, how much could
the bum s life be worth anyway?  A Lot less than 50 years worth of
paralysis.  Don t play George Bush and Saddam Hussein.  Finish the job.
		-- G. Gordon Liddy s  Forbes  column on personal security
`,
	`Because the demand for it is low enough that it would be best handled
as an XSUB, and the demand for it is low enough that nobody has
bothered to write it as an XSUB.
		-- Larry Wall on in-place Perl sorting
`,
	`[32m《贫女》[m
[33m作者：秦韬玉[m
蓬门未识绮罗香，拟托良媒益自伤。
谁爱风流高格调，共怜时世俭梳妆。
敢将十指夸针巧，不把双眉斗画长。
苦恨年年压金线，为他人作嫁衣裳。
`,
	`Love is staying up all night with a sick child, or a healthy adult.
`,
	`Didn t I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?
`,
	`There is Jackson standing like a stone wall.  Let us determine to die,
and we will conquer.  Follow me.
		-- General Barnard E. Bee (CSA)
`,
	`         ... fire  does not matter,  earth  and  air  and  water  do not
matter.   I  do not matter.  No word matters.  But man forgets reality
and remembers words.  The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his
fellows esteem him.  He looks upon the great transformations of the
world, but he does not see them as they were seen when man looked upon
reality for the first time.  Their names come to his lips and he smiles
as he tastes them, thinking he knows them in the naming. 
		-- Siddartha, _Lord_of_Light_ by Roger Zelazny
`,
	`Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue
ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature.
This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.
		-- Robert Parker, quoted in  Murder Ink ,  ed. D. Wynn
`,
	`One of the things I routinely tell people is that if it s in the news, don t
worry about it.  By definition,  news  means that it hardly ever happens.  If a
risk is in the news, then it s probably not worth worrying about.  When
something is no longer reported -- automobile deaths, domestic violence -- when
it s so common that it s not news, then you should start worrying. 
		-- Bruce Schneier, in _CRYPTO-GRAM_, May 15, 2005.
`,
	`Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
`,
	`	Carol s head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees
along the block of booths.  She chirruped at Kennicott,  Let s be wild!
Let s ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring! 
	Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree,  Think you folks
would like to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round? 
	Calibree considered it, and mumbled to his wife,  Think you d like
to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round? 
	Mrs. Calibree smiled in a washed-out manner, and sighed,  Oh no,
I don t believe I care to much, but you folks go ahead and try it. 
	Calibree stated to Kennicott,  No, I don t believe we care to a
whole lot, but you folks go ahead and try it. 
	Kennicott summarized the whole case against wildness:  Let s try
it some other time, Carrie. 
	She gave it up.
		-- Sinclair Lewis,  Main Street 
`,
	`I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.
		-- Bill Veeck
`,
	`If your aim in life is nothing, you can t miss.
`,
	`You know you re in trouble when...
(1)	Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
		follow a group of Hell s Angels on the freeway.
(2)	You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party
		and there aren t any.
(3)	Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
(4)	The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
(5)	You wake up and your braces are locked together.
(6)	Your mother approves of the person you re dating.
`,
	`The typical page layout program is nothing more than an electronic
light table for cutting and pasting documents.
`,
	`May you do Good Magic with Perl.
		-- Larry Wall s blessing
`,
	`Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up
the pillow was gone.
		-- Tommy Cooper
`,
	`It s not easy, being green.
		-- Kermit the Frog
`,
	`Real Users never know what they want, but they always know when your program
doesn t deliver it.
`,
	`I m so miserable without you, it s almost like you re here.
`,
	`You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.
`,
	`
 [   ]  DOGBERT
 [ 2 ]  RICHARD STALLMAN
 [ 3 ]  BUFFY SUMMERS
 [ 1 ]  MANOJ SRIVASTAVA
 [ 4 ]  NONE of the above

		-- Debian Project Leader 1999 ballot
`,
	`Elephant, n.:
	A mouse built to government specifications.
`,
	`lisp, v.:
	To call a spade a thpade.
`,
	`[32m《临洞庭上张丞相》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
八月湖水平，涵虚混太清。
气蒸云梦泽，波撼岳阳城。
欲济无舟楫，端居耻圣明。
坐观垂钓者，徒有羡鱼情。
`,
	`We have more to fear from the bungling of the incompetent than from the
machinations of the wicked.
`,
	`Dijkstra probably hates me.
		-- Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c
`,
	`Bringing computers into the home won t change either one, but may
revitalize the corner saloon.
`,
	`You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.
`,
	`Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to
point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very
fast.  People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are
often given to wonder what s so great about point A that so many people
from point B are so keen to get there and what s so great about point B
that so many people from point A are so keen to get _____there.  They often
wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell
they wanted to be.
		-- Douglas Adams,  The Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy 
`,
	`UH-OH!!  I put on  GREAT HEAD-ON TRAIN COLLISIONS of the 50 s  by
mistake!!!
`,
	`It seems intuitively obvious to me, which means that it might be wrong.
		-- Chris Torek
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: (Showing man picture.) That s you?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?
`,
	`Spirtle, n.:
	The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.
		-- Sniglets,  Rich Hall & Friends 
`,
	`I had a lease on an OEDIPUS COMPLEX back in  81 ...
`,
	`People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the
future.
`,
	`Windows Airlines:
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants all very attractive, the
pilots very capable. The fleet of Learjets the carrier operates is immense.
Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000
feet it explodes without warning.
`,
	` You ll pay to know what you really think. 
		-- J. R.  Bob  Dobbs
`,
	`A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself.
		-- Du Bois
`,
	`It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to
mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and chemistry.
		-- H. L. Mencken
`,
	`flowchart, n. & v.:
	[From flow  to ripple down in rich profusion, as hair  + chart
 a cryptic hidden-treasure map designed to mislead the uninitiated. ]
1. n. The solution, if any, to a class of Mascheroni construction
problems in which given algorithms require geometrical representation
using only the 35 basic ideograms of the ANSI template.  2. n. Neronic
doodling while the system burns.  3. n. A low-cost substitute for
wallpaper.  4. n.  The innumerate misleading the illiterate.   A
thousand pictures is worth ten lines of code.  -- The Programmer s
Little Red Vade Mecum, Mao Tse T umps.  5. v.intrans. To produce
flowcharts with no particular object in mind.  6. v.trans. To obfuscate
(a problem) with esoteric cartoons.
		-- Stan Kelly-Bootle,  The Devil s DP Dictionary 
`,
	`The justifications for drug testing are part of the presently fashionable
debate concerning restoring America s  competitiveness.  Drugs, it has been
revealed, are responsible for rampant absenteeism, reduced output, and poor
quality work.  But is drug testing in fact rationally related to the
resurrection of competitiveness?  Will charging the atmosphere of the
workplace with the fear of excretory betrayal honestly spur productivity?
Much noise has been made about rehabilitating the worker using drugs, but
to date the vast majority of programs end with the simple firing or the not
hiring of the abuser.  This practice may exacerbate, not alleviate, the
nation s productivity problem.  If economic rehabilitation is the ultimate
goal of drug testing, then criteria abandoning the rehabilitation of the
drug-using worker is the purest of hypocrisy and the worst of rationalization.
		-- The concluding paragraph of  Constitutional Law: The
		   Fourth Amendment and Drug Testing in the Workplace, 
		   Tim Moore, Harvard Journal of Law & Public Policy, vol.
		   10, No. 3 (Summer 1987), pp. 762-768.
`,
	`Results are not typical.
`,
	`Wasn t there something about a PASCAL programmer knowing the value of
everything and the Wirth of nothing?
`,
	`When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the
inattentions of one.
		-- Helen Rowland
`,
	`The face of war has never changed.  Surely it is more logical to heal
than to kill.
		-- Surak of Vulcan,  The Savage Curtain , stardate 5906.5
`,
	`I use technology in order to hate it more properly.
		-- Nam June Paik
`,
	`I waited and waited and when no message came I knew it must be from you.
`,
	`Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the
improbable.
		-- H. L. Mencken
`,
	`All intelligent species own cats.
`,
	`Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an
autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.
		-- Marlo Thomas
`,
	`	 You ve got to think about tomorrow! 
	 TOMORROW!  I haven t even prepared for *_________yesterday* yet! 
`,
	`The important thing is not to stop questioning.
`,
	`If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women
you ve got in the house.
		-- Mike Harding,  The Armchair Anarchist s Almanac 
`,
	`...it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the
existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great
systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative
hypothesis of an extremely low order of probability.
		-- Sidney Hook
`,
	`The fact that 47 PEOPLE are yelling and sweat is cascading down my
SPINAL COLUMN is fairly enjoyable!!
`,
	`The mother of the year should be a sterilized woman with two adopted children.
		-- Paul Ehrlich
`,
	`He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.
		-- Sir Richard Burton
`,
	`Your worship is your furnaces
which, like old idols, lost obscenes,
have molten bowels; your vision is
machines for making more machines.
		-- Gordon Bottomley, 1874
`,
	`In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that s just one
of the risks he takes.
		-- Adlai Stevenson
`,
	`Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits
of the world.
		-- Schopenhauer
`,
	`Many husbands go broke on the money their wives save on sales.
`,
	`The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds,
and the pessimist knows it.
		-- J. Robert Oppenheimer,  Bulletin of Atomic Scientists 
`,
	`There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing.
		-- Eugene Ionesco
`,
	`If you re happy, you re successful.
`,
	`If you don t strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.
		-- Andrew Carnegie, on public speaking
`,
	`We ve upped our standards, so up yours!
`,
	`Forest fires cause Smokey Bears.
`,
	`Nothing in progression can rest on its original plan.  We may as well think of
rocking a grown man in the cradle of an infant.  -- Edmund Burke
`,
	`When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
`,
	`Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
		-- Frank Hubbard
`,
	`Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about
can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.
		-- Lao Tsu
`,
	`It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
		-- Rod Serling
`,
	`QOTD:
	 I ain t broke, but I m badly bent. 
`,
	`Laura s Law:
	No child throws up in the bathroom.
`,
	`And miles to go before I sleep.
		-- Robert Frost
`,
	`It takes a smart husband to have the last word and not use it.
`,
	`The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest
about it.
		-- James Agate, British film and drama critic
`,
	`We apologize for the inconvenience, but we d still like yout to test out
this kernel.
		-- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
`,
	`Your csh still thinks true is false.  Write to your vendor today and tell
them that next year Configure ought to  rm /bin/csh  unless they fix their
blasted shell. :-)   -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
`,
	`Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at
fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution.  Take
the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will
find she did it with a knife; but if you take simply the aspect of the pencil,
you will say that she did it with her teeth.
		-- Mark Twain,  Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar 
`,
	`There was a writer in  Life  magazine ... who claimed that rabbits have
no memory, which is one of their defensive mechanisms.  If they recalled
every close shave they had in the course of just an hour life would become
insupportable.
		-- Kurt Vonnegut
`,
	`< sam> /.ing an issue is like asking an infinite number of monkeys for
       advice
		-- in #debian-devel
`,
	`Was there a time when dancers with their fiddles
In children s circuses could stay their troubles?
There was a time they could cry over books,
But time has set its maggot on their track.
Under the arc of the sky they are unsafe.
What s never known is safest in this life.
Under the skysigns they who have no arms
Have cleanest hands, and, as the heartless ghost
Alone s unhurt, so the blind man sees best.
		-- Dylan Thomas,  Was There A Time 
`,
	`You can t take it with you -- especially when crossing a state line.
`,
	`I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I ve ever known.
		-- Walt Disney
`,
	`Chairman of the Bored.
`,
	`[32m《寄扬州韩绰判官》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
青山隐隐水迢迢，秋尽江南草未凋。
二十四桥明月夜，玉人何处教吹箫。
`,
	`On my planet, to rest is to rest -- to cease using energy.  To me, it
is quite illogical to run up and down on green grass, using energy,
instead of saving it.
		-- Spock,  Shore Leave , stardate 3025.2
`,
	`If a team is in a positive frame of mind, it will have a good attitude.
If it has a good attitude, it will make a commitment to playing the
game right.  If it plays the game right, it will win -- unless, of
course, it doesn t have enough talent to win, and no manager can make
goose-liver pate out of goose feathers, so why worry?
		-- Sparky Anderson
`,
	`I am a traffic light, and Alan Ginzberg kidnapped my laundry in 1927!
`,
	`Every cloud has a silver lining; you should have sold it, and bought titanium.
`,
	`It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.
		-- Local ordinance, Euclid Ohio
`,
	`Just to have it is enough.
`,
	`Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
`,
	`Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.
		-- John Mason Brown, drama critic
`,
	`Suffocating together ... would create heroic camaraderie.
		-- Khan Noonian Singh,  Space Seed , stardate 3142.8
`,
	`Windows Airlines:
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants all very attractive, the
pilots very capable. The fleet of Learjets the carrier operates is immense.
Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000
feet it explodes without warning.
`,
	`[32m《旅夜书怀》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
细草微风岸，危樯独夜舟。
星垂平野阔，月涌大江流。
名岂文章著，官应老病休，
飘飘何所似，天地一沙鸥。
`,
	`And as we stand on the edge of darkness
Let our chant fill the void
That others may know

	In the land of the night
	The ship of the sun
	Is drawn by
	The grateful dead.
		-- Tibetan  Book of the Dead,  ca. 4000 BC.
`,
	`Stop!  There was first a game of blindman s buff.  Of course there was.
And I no more believe Topper was really blind than I believe he had eyes
in his boots.  My opinion is, that it was a done thing between him and
Scrooge s nephew; and that the Ghost of Christmas Present knew it.  The
way he went after that plump sister in the lace tucker, was an outrage
on the credulity of human nature.
`,
	`Bagbiter:
	1. n.; Equipment or program that fails, usually intermittently.  2.
adj.: Failing hardware or software.   This bagbiting system won t let me get
out of spacewar.  Usage: verges on obscenity.  Grammatically separable; one
may speak of  biting the bag .  Synonyms: LOSER, LOSING, CRETINOUS,
BLETCHEROUS, BARFUCIOUS, CHOMPER, CHOMPING.
`,
	`The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid,
stable business.
		-- John Steinbeck
	[Horse racing *is* a stable business ...]
`,
	`The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav n of Hell, a Hell of Heav n.
		-- John Milton
`,
	`Join in the new game that s sweeping the country.  It s called  Bureaucracy .
Everybody stands in a circle.  The first person to do anything loses.
`,
	`Anyone who thinks UNIX is intuitive should be forced to write 5000 lines of
code using nothing but vi or emacs. AAAAACK!
(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands, especially
Emacs.)
`,
	`Don t ever slam a door; you might want to go back.
`,
	`A fellow bought a new car, a Nissan, and was quite happy with his purchase.
He was something of an animist, however, and felt that the car really ought
to have a name.  This presented a problem, as he was not sure if the name
should be masculine or feminine.
	After considerable thought, he settled on an naming the car either
Belchazar or Beaumadine, but remained in a quandry about the final choice.
	 Is a Nissan male or female?  he began asking his friends.  Most of
them looked at him pecularly, mumbled things about urgent appointments, and
went on their way rather quickly.
	He finally broached the question to a lady he knew who held a black
belt in judo.  She thought for a moment and answered  Feminine. 
	The swiftness of her response puzzled him.  You re sure of that?  he
asked.
	 Certainly,  she replied.  They wouldn t sell very well if they were
masculine. 
	 Unhhh...  Well, why not? 
	 Because people want a car with a reputation for going when you want
it to.  And, if Nissan s are female, it s like they say...   Each Nissan, she
go!  

	[No, we WON T explain it; go ask someone who practices an oriental
	martial art.  (Tai Chi Chuan probably doesn t count.)  Ed.]
`,
	`It s better to burn out than it is to rust.
`,
	`Modern psychology takes completely for granted that behavior and neural
function are perfectly correlated, that one is completely caused by the
other.  There is no separate soul or lifeforce to stick a finger into the
brain now and then and make neural cells do what they would not otherwise.
Actually, of course, this is a working assumption only. ... It is quite
conceivable that someday the assumption will have to be rejected.  But it
is important also to see that we have not reached that day yet: the working
assumption is a necessary one and there is no real evidence opposed to it.
Our failure to solve a problem so far does not make it insoluble.  One cannot
logically be a determinist in physics and biology, and a mystic in psychology.
		-- D. O. Hebb,  Organization of Behavior: A Neuropsychological
		   Theory , 1949
`,
	`[32m《山石》[m
[33m作者：韩愈[m
山石荦确行径微，黄昏到寺蝙蝠飞。
升堂坐阶新雨足，芭蕉叶大栀子肥。
僧言古壁佛画好，以火来照所见稀。
铺床拂席置羹饭，疏粝亦足饱我饥。
夜深静卧百虫绝，清月出岭光入扉。
天明独去无道路，出入高下穷烟霏。
山红涧碧纷烂漫，时见松枥皆十围。
当流赤足踏涧石，水声激激风吹衣。
人生如此自可乐，岂必局束为人ꆼ。
嗟哉吾党二三子，安得至老不更归。
`,
	`Wish and hope succeed in discerning signs of paranormality where reason and
careful scientific procedure fail.
		-- James E. Alcock, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. 12
`,
	`Many mental processes admit of being roughly measured.  For instance,
the degree to which people are bored, by counting the number of their
fidgets. I not infrequently tried this method at the meetings of the
Royal Geographical Society, for even there dull memoirs are occasionally
read.  [...]  The use of a watch attracts attention, so I reckon time
by the number of my breathings, of which there are 15 in a minute.  They
are not counted mentally, but are punctuated by pressing with 15 fingers
successively.  The counting is reserved for the fidgets.  These observations
should be confined to persons of middle age.  Children are rarely still,
while elderly philosophers will sometimes remain rigid for minutes altogether.
		-- Francis Galton, 1909
`,
	`He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.
		-- Sir Richard Burton
`,
	`[32m《宣州谢ꆼ楼饯别校书叔云》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
弃我去者，昨日之日不可留。
乱我心者，今日之日多烦忧。
长风万里送秋雁，对此可以酣高楼。
蓬莱文章建安骨，中间小谢又清发。
俱怀逸兴壮思飞，欲上青天览日月。
抽刀断水水更流，举杯消愁愁更愁。
人生在世不称意，明朝散发弄扁舟。
`,
	`I feel like I m in a Toilet Bowl with a thumbtack in my forehead!!
`,
	`I know you believe you understand what you think this fortune says, but
I m not sure you realize that what you are reading is not what it means.
`,
	`What will you do if all your problems aren t solved by the time you die?
`,
	`Programmers do it bit by bit.
`,
	`Now I lay me back to sleep.
The speaker s dull; the subject s deep.
If he should stop before I wake,
Give me a nudge for goodness  sake.
		-- Anonymous
`,
	`Xerox your lunch and file it under  sex offenders !
`,
	`Small is beautiful.
		-- Schumacher s Dictum
`,
	`It s difficult to see the picture when you are inside the frame.
`,
	`It is well known that *things* from undesirable universes are always seeking
an entrance into this one, which is the psychic equivalent of handy for the
buses and closer to the shops.
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Light Fantastic 
`,
	` There is nothing so deadly as not to hold up to people the opportunity to
do great and wonderful things, if we wish to stimulate them in an active way. 
		-- Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry
`,
	`Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether to kill yourself
or not.  Tom Robbins wrote that the only serious question is whether time has
a beginning and an end.  Camus clearly got up on the wrong side of bed, and
Robbins must have forgotten to set the alarm.
		-- Tom Robbins
`,
	` What the scientists have in their briefcases is terrifying. 
		-- Nikita Khrushchev
`,
	`Laws of Computer Programming:
	(1) Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
	(2) Any given program costs more and takes longer.
	(3) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
	(4) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
	(5) Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
	(6) The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
	(7) Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of
		the programmer who must maintain it.
`,
	`Some men are so macho they ll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit.
		-- Maureen Murphy
`,
	`All things being equal, you are bound to lose.
`,
	`There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted
armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.
		-- Ernest Hemingway
`,
	`A full belly makes a dull brain.
		-- Ben Franklin

		[and the local candy machine man.  Ed]
`,
	`Nothing ever becomes real until it is experienced.
		-- John Keats
`,
	`Life is just a bowl of cherries, but why do I always get the pits?
`,
	`With a rubber duck, one s never alone.
		--  The Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy 
`,
	`<netgod> you know
<netgod> its really sad when the internic itself cant configure DNS
         servers right
<netgod> it just doesnt get any more pathetic than that
`,
	`A man always needs to remember one thing about a beautiful woman.

Somewhere, somebody s tired of her.
`,
	`<wiggyWork> 3990 N   Apr 15 Cute Girlfriend (  45) Erotic Amateur Girlfriends
<wiggyWork> I wasn t aware you had professional girlfriends as well
`,
	`Lead by Following

The river carves out the valley by flowing beneath it.
Thereby the river is the master of the valley.
In order to master people
One must speak as their servant;
In order to lead people
One must follow them.
So when the sage rises above the people,
They do not feel oppressed;
And when the sage stands before the people,
They do not feel hindered.
So the popularity of the sage does not fail,
He does not contend, and no one contends against him.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of active paranoiac
thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the
total discrediting of the world of reality.
		-- Salvador Dali
`,
	`	Phases of a Project:
(1)	Exultation.
(2)	Disenchantment.
(3)	Confusion.
(4)	Search for the Guilty.
(5)	Punishment for the Innocent.
(6)	Distinction for the Uninvolved.
`,
	`My polyvinyl cowboy wallet was made in Hong Kong by Montgomery Clift!
`,
	`The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.
		-- Lenny Bruce
`,
	` Der bestirnte Himmel über mir und das moralische Gesetz in mir 
that is
 The starry sky above me, and the Moral Law inside me. 
		-- The epigraph on Kant s tombstone.
`,
	`Revenge is a form of nostalgia.
`,
	`The egg cream is psychologically the opposite of circumcision -- it
*pleasurably* reaffirms your Jewishness.
		-- Mel Brooks
`,
	`Better tried by twelve than carried by six.
		-- Jeff Cooper
`,
	`A journey of a thousand miles starts under one s feet.
		-- Lao Tsu
`,
	` Athens built the Acropolis.  Corinth was a commercial city, interested in
purely materialistic things.  Today we admire Athens, visit it, preserve the
old temples, yet we hardly ever set foot in Corinth. 
		-- Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry
`,
	`On the subject of C program indentation:
	 In My Egotistical Opinion, most people s C programs should be
	indented six feet downward and covered with dirt. 
		-- Blair P. Houghton
`,
	`Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
specification is that it should run noiselessly.
`,
	`Stop searching forever.  Happiness is just next to you.
`,
	`Think of your family tonight.  Try to crawl home after the computer crashes.
`,
	`How sharper than a serpent s tooth is a sister s  See? 
		-- Linus Van Pelt
`,
	`I sent a letter to the fish,		I said it very loud and clear,
I told them,  This is what I wish. 	I went and shouted in his ear.
The little fishes of the sea,		But he was very stiff and proud,
They sent an answer back to me.		He said  You needn t shout so loud. 
The little fishes  answer was		And he was very proud and stiff,
 We cannot do it, sir, because... 	He said  I ll go and wake them if... 
I sent a letter back to say		I took a kettle from the shelf,
It would be better to obey.		I went to wake them up myself.
But someone came to me and said		But when I found the door was locked
 The little fishes are in bed. 		I pulled and pushed and kicked and
						knocked,
I said to him, and I said it plain	And when I found the door was shut,
 Then you must wake them up again. 	I tried to turn the handle, But...

	 Is that all?  asked Alice.
	 That is all.  said Humpty Dumpty.  Goodbye. 
`,
	`QOTD:
	I m not bald -- I m  hair challenged .

	[I thought that was  differently haired . Ed.]
`,
	`Blackout restrictions apply.
`,
	`Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.
		-- W. C. Fields
`,
	`The fact that 47 PEOPLE are yelling and sweat is cascading down my
SPINAL COLUMN is fairly enjoyable!!
`,
	`* Endy needs to consult coffee :P
<Endy> coffee the bot person, not coffee the beverage :)
<knghtbrd> consulting the beverage may help too  =>
`,
	`A girl s conscience doesn t really keep her from doing anything wrong--
it merely keeps her from enjoying it.
`,
	`YOW!!  I m in a very clever and adorable INSANE ASYLUM!!
`,
	`<Joy> wow... simple maths show that Debian developers have closed more
      than *31* *thousand* bug reports since our BTS exists!
<Joy> that is about 30999 more than Microsoft ;)
`,
	`By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity.  Another man s, I mean.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`She been married so many times she got rice marks all over her face.
		-- Tom Waits
`,
	` No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid. 
`,
	`	 These are DARK TIMES for all mankind s HIGHEST VALUES! 
	 These are DARK TIMES for FREEDOM and PROSPERITY! 
	 These are GREAT TIMES to put your money on BAD GUY to kick the CRAP
out of MEGATON MAN! 
`,
	`[32m《贼平后送人北归》[m
[33m作者：司空曙[m
世乱同南去，时清独北还。
他乡生白发，旧国见青山。
晓月过残垒，繁星宿故关。
寒禽与衰草，处处伴愁颜。
`,
	`Populus vult decipi.
	[The people like to be deceived.]
`,
	`No discipline is ever requisite to force attendance upon lectures which are
really worth the attending.
		-- Adam Smith,  The Wealth of Nations 
`,
	`This fortune intentionally says nothing.
`,
	`SHOP OR DIE, people of Earth!
[offer void where prohibited]
		-- Capitalists from outer space, from Justice League Int l comics
`,
	`A person who has nothing looks at all there is and wants something.
A person who has something looks at all there is and wants all the rest.
`,
	`Promising costs nothing, it s the delivering that kills you.
`,
	`Dying is a very dull, dreary affair.  My advice to you is to have
nothing whatever to do with it.
		-- W. Somerset Maugham, his last words
`,
	`I d horsewhip you if I had a horse.
		-- Groucho Marx
`,
	`The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.
		-- Clifton Fadiman
`,
	`The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover s Lane holding his own hand.
		-- Fred Allen
`,
	`What orators lack in depth they make up in length.
`,
	`UNIX enhancements aren t.
`,
	`Horses

When a nation follows the Way,
Horses bear manure through its fields;
When a nation ignores the Way,
Horses bear soldiers through its streets.
There is no greater mistake than following desire;
There is no greater disaster than forgetting contentment;
There is no greater sickness than seeking attainment;
But one who is content to satisfy his needs
Finds that contentment endures.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Limitations on coverage and remedies apply.
`,
	`Ginsberg s Theorem:
	(1) You can t win.
	(2) You can t break even.
	(3) You can t even quit the game.

Freeman s Commentary on Ginsberg s theorem:
	Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem
	meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg s
	Theorem.  To wit:

	(1) Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
	(2) Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even.
	(3) Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the game.
`,
	`Admiration, n.:
	Our polite recognition of another s resemblance to ourselves.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`Stupidity is its own reward.
`,
	`Paper Rabies:
	Hypersensitivity to littering.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`Not far from here, by a white sun, behind a green star, lived the
Steelypips, illustrious, industrious, and they hadn t a care: no spats in
their vats, no rules, no schools, no gloom, no evil influence of the
moon, no trouble from matter or antimatter -- for they had a machine, a
dream of a machine, with springs and gears and perfect in every respect.
And they lived with it, and on it, and under it, and inside it, for it
was all they had -- first they saved up all their atoms, then they put
them all together, and if one didn t fit, why they chipped at it a bit,
and everything was just fine ...
		-- Stanislaw Lem,  Cyberiad 
`,
	`Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:

DC	Divide and Conquer
DMPK	Destroy Memory Protect Key
DO	Divide and Overflow
EMPC	Emulate Pocket Calculator
EPI	Execute Programmer Immediately
EROS	Erase Read Only Storage
EXCE	Execute Customer Engineer
HCF	Halt and Catch Fire
IBP	Insert Bug and Proceed
INSQSW	Insert into queue somewhere (for FINO queues [First in never out])
PBC	Print and Break Chain
PDSK	Punch Disk
`,
	`Experience

Experience is a riverbed,
Its source hidden, forever flowing:
Its entrance, the root of the world,
The Way moves within it:
Draw upon it; it will not run dry.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`FORTUNE S PARTY TIPS		#14

Tired of finding that other people are helping themselves to your good
liquor at BYOB parties?  Take along a candle, which you insert and
light after you ve opened the bottle.  No one ever expects anything
drinkable to be in a bottle which has a candle stuck in its neck.
`,
	`XVI:
	In the year 2054, the entire defense budget will purchase just one
	aircraft.  This aircraft will have to be shared by the Air Force and
	Navy 3-1/2 days each per week except for leap year, when it will be
	made available to the Marines for the extra day.
XVII:
	Software is like entropy.  It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing,
	and obeys the Second Law of Thermodynamics, i.e., it always increases.
XVIII:
	It is very expensive to achieve high unreliability.  It is not uncommon
	to increase the cost of an item by a factor of ten for each factor of
	ten degradation accomplished.
XIX:
	Although most products will soon be too costly to purchase, there will
	be a thriving market in the sale of books on how to fix them.
XX:
	In any given year, Congress will appropriate the amount of funding
	approved the prior year plus three-fourths of whatever change the
	administration requests -- minus 4-percent tax.
		-- Norman Augustine
`,
	`Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
	[Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.]
`,
	`A physicist is an atom s way of knowing about atoms.
		-- George Wald
`,
	`[32m《九月九日忆山东兄弟》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲。
遥知兄弟登高处，遍插茱萸少一人。
`,
	`Seriously, the way I did this was by using a special /sbin/loader binary
with debugging hooks that I made ( dd  is your friend: binary editors
are for wimps).
		-- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
`,
	`Dignity is like a flag.  It flaps in a storm.
		-- Roy Mengot
`,
	`boss, n:
	According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the
	words  boss  and  botch  were largely synonymous, except that boss,
	in addition to meaning  a supervisor of workers  also meant  an
	ornamental stud. 
`,
	`> The day people think linux would be better served by somebody else (FSF
> being the natural alternative), I ll  abdicate .  I don t think that
> it s something people have to worry about right now - I don t see it
> happening in the near future.  I enjoy doing linux, even though it does
> mean some work, and I haven t gotten any complaints (some almost timid
> reminders about a patch I have forgotten or ignored, but nothing
> negative so far).
>
> Don t take the above to mean that I ll stop the day somebody complains:
> I m thick-skinned (Lasu, who is reading this over my shoulder commented
> that  thick-HEADED is closer to the truth ) enough to take some abuse.
> If I weren t, I d have stopped developing linux the day ast ridiculed me
> on c.o.minix.  What I mean is just that while linux has been my baby so
> far, I don t want to stand in the way if people want to make something
> better of it (*).
>
>                 Linus
>
> (*) Hey, maybe I could apply for a saint-hood from the Pope.  Does
> somebody know what his email-address is? I m so nice it makes you puke.
		-- Taken from Linus s reply to someone worried about the future of Linux
`,
	` My sense of purpose is gone! I have no idea who I AM! 
     Oh, my God... You ve.. You ve turned him into a DEMOCRAT! 
		-- Doonesbury
`,
	`Men s skin is different from women s skin.  It is usually bigger, and
it has more snakes tattooed on it.  Also, if you examine a woman s skin
very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently
tracing the slender curve of her calves, then moving up to her ...

[EDITOR S NOTE: To make room for news articles about important world events
such as agriculture, we re going to delete the next few square feet of the
woman s skin.  Thank you.]

... until finally the two of you are lying there, spent, smoking your
cigarettes, and suddenly it hits you: Human skin is actually made up of
billions of tiny units of protoplasm, called  cells !  And what is even more
interesting, the ones on the outside are all dying!  This is a fact.  Your
skin is like an aggressive modern corporation, where the older veteran
cells, who have finally worked their way to the top and obtained offices
with nice views, are constantly being shoved out the window head first,
without so much as a pension plan, by younger hotshot cells moving up from
below.
		-- Dave Barry,  Saving Face 
`,
	`Technology is a constand battle between manufacturers producing bigger and
more idiot-proof systems and nature producing bigger and better idiots.
		-- Slashdot signature
`,
	`Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere.
Climb the mountain just a little to test it s a mountain.
From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.
		-- Bene Gesserit proverb,  Dune 
`,
	`You will feel hungry again in another hour.
`,
	`Van Roy s Law:
	Honesty is the best policy - there s less competition.

Van Roy s Truism:
	Life is a whole series of circumstances beyond your control.
`,
	`Get out, you old Wight!  Vanish in the sunlight!
Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing,
Out into the barren lands far beyond the mountains!
Come never here again!  Leave your barrow empty!
Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness,
Where gates stand for ever shut, till the world is mended.
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`I just had a NOSE JOB!!
`,
	`In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
`,
	`Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine		And then one day you find
Staying home to watch the rain		Ten years have got behind you
You are young and life is long		No one told you when to run
And there is time to kill today		You missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it s sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way but you re older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter		Hanging on in quiet desperation
						is the English way
Never seem to find the time		The time is gone, the song is over
Plans that either come to nought	Thought I d something more to say...
Or half a page of scribbled lines
		-- Pink Floyd,  Time 
`,
	`On ability:
	A dwarf is small, even if he stands on a mountain top;
	a colossus keeps his height, even if he stands in a well.
		-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca, 4BC - 65AD
`,
	`By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote.  In fact, it is as
difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent.
		-- R. Emerson
		-- Quoted from a fortune cookie program
		(whose author claims,  Actually, stealing IS easier. )
		[to which I reply,  You think it s easy for me to
		misconstrue all these misquotations?!?   Ed.]
`,
	`All heiresses are beautiful.
		-- John Dryden
`,
	` my biggest problem with RH (and especially RH contrib packages) is that
they DON T have anything like our policy.  That s one of the main reasons
why their packages are so crappy and broken.  Debian has the teamwork
side of building a distribution down to a fine art. 
`,
	`A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no
responsibility at the other.
`,
	`Your present plans will be successful.
`,
	`Real Users never know what they want, but they always know when your program
doesn t deliver it.
`,
	`Tuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life.
`,
	`We are Microsoft.  Unix is irrelevant.  Openness is futile.  Prepare
to be assimilated.
`,
	`DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD, UNTIE!
`,
	`McDonald s -- Because you re worth it.
`,
	`Do more than anyone expects, and pretty soon everyone will expect more.
`,
	`Of course power tools and alcohol don t mix.  Everyone knows power
tools aren t soluble in alcohol...
		-- Crazy Nigel
`,
	`Contents may settle during shipment.
`,
	`Alliance, n.:
	In international politics, the union of two thieves who have
	their hands so deeply inserted in each other s pocket that they cannot
	separately plunder a third.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
`,
	`I ve run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few
months.  I just love debugging ;-)
		-- Linus Torvalds
`,
	`I see a bad moon rising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin 
I see bad times today.
Don t go  round tonight,
It s bound to take your life.
There s a bad moon on the rise.
		-- J. C. Fogerty,  Bad Moon Rising 
`,
	`Some assembly required.
`,
	`Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh
autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.
		-- P. J. O Rourke
`,
	`I m not offering myself as an example; every life evolves by its own laws.
`,
	`Mount St. Helens should have used earth control.
`,
	`My calculator is my shepherd, I shall not want
It maketh me accurate to ten significant figures,
	and it leadeth me in scientific notation to 99 digits.
It restoreth my square roots and guideth me along paths of floating
	decimal points for the sake of precision.
Yea, tho I walk through the valley of surprise quizzes,
	I will fear no prof, for my calculator is there to hearten me.
It prepareth a log table to comfort me, it prepareth an
	arc sin for me in the presence of my teachers.
It annoints my homework with correct solutions, my interpolations are
	over.
Surely, both precision and accuracy shall follow me all the days of my
	life, and I shall dwell in the house of Texas instruments forever.
`,
	`Worst Month of 1981 for Downhill Skiing:
	August.  The lift lines are the shortest, though.
		-- Steve Rubenstein
`,
	`Uh-oh!!  I m having TOO MUCH FUN!!
`,
	`   On Krat s main screen appeared the holo image of a man, and several dolphins.
From the man s shape, Krat could tell it was a female, probably their leader.
    ...stupid creatures unworthy of the name  sophonts.   Foolish, pre-sentient
upspring of errant masters.  We slip away from all your armed might, laughing
at your clumsiness!  We slip away as we always will, you pathetic creatures.
And now that we have a real head start, you ll never catch us!  What better
proof that the Progenitors favor not you, but us!  What better proof... 
   The taunt went on.  Krat listened, enraged, yet at the same time savoring
the artistry of it.  These men are better than I d thought.  Their insults
are wordy and overblown, but they have talent.  They deserve honorable, slow
deaths.
		-- David Brin, Startide Rising
`,
	`For every problem there is one solution which is simple, neat, and wrong.
		-- H. L. Mencken
`,
	`I don t have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.
		-- Ashleigh Brilliant
`,
	`The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic.  It showed that
two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated
by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.
		-- I. F. Stone
`,
	`... faster BogoMIPS calculations (yes, it now boots 2 seconds faster than
it used to: we re considering changing the name from  Linux  to  InstaBOOT 
		-- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.26
`,
	`[32m《春怨》[m
[33m作者：刘方平[m
纱窗日落渐黄昏，金屋无人见泪痕。
寂寞空庭春欲晚，梨花满地不开门。
`,
	`I see a bad moon rising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin 
I see bad times today.
Don t go  round tonight,
It s bound to take your life.
There s a bad moon on the rise.
		-- J. C. Fogerty,  Bad Moon Rising 
`,
	`Maslow s Maxim:
	If the only tool you have is a hammer, you treat everything like
	a nail.
`,
	`Troubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful and wealthy and live
in eucalyptus trees.
`,
	`No, my friend, the way to have good and safe government, is not to trust it
all to one, but to divide it among the many, distributing to every one exactly
the functions he is competent to.  It is by dividing and subdividing these
republics from the national one down through all its subordinations, until it
ends in the administration of every man s farm by himself; by placing under
every one what his own eye may superintend, that all will be done for the best.
		-- Thomas Jefferson, to Joseph Cabell, 1816
`,
	`Linux is obsolete
		-- Andrew Tanenbaum
`,
	`The best man for the job is often a woman.
`,
	`Perfection

The perfect traveller leaves no trail to be followed;
The perfect speaker leaves no question to be answered;
The perfect accountant leaves no working to be completed;
The perfect container leaves no lock to be closed;
The perfect knot leaves no end to be ravelled.
So the sage nurtures all men
And abandons no one.
He accepts everything
And rejects nothing.
He attends to the smallest details.
For the strong must guide the weak;
The weak are raw material to the strong.
If the guide is not respected,
Or the material is not cared for,
Confusion will result, no matter how clever one is.
This is the secret of perfection:
When raw wood is carved, it becomes a tool;
When a man is employed, he becomes a tool;
The perfect carpenter leaves no wood to be carved.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Lady Nancy Astor:
	 Winston, if you were my husband, I d put poison in your coffee. 
Winston Churchill:
	 Nancy, if you were my wife, I d drink it. 
`,
	` An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of code. 
		-- an anonymous programmer
`,
	`The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
		-- William Shakespeare,  The Merchant of Venice 
`,
	`The truth about a man lies first and foremost in what he hides.
		-- Andre Malraux
`,
	`<Deek> Yes, America is a country based on how pissed-off a group of taxed
       people can get.
<Deek> We exist as a country because we re cheap.
`,
	`The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher,
	Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
	Do I want one?  God Forbiddie!
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	`Don t ever slam a door; you might want to go back.
`,
	`Love is never asking why?
`,
	`One planet is all you get.
`,
	`If God hadn t wanted you to be paranoid, He wouldn t have given you such
a vivid imagination.
`,
	`Wharbat darbid yarbou sarbay?
`,
	` In my opinion, Richard Stallman wouldn t recognize terrorism if it
came up and bit him on his Internet. 
		-- Ross M. Greenberg
`,
	`You are in a maze of little twisting passages, all different.
`,
	`A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
		-- Oscar Wilde,  The Portrait of Mr. W. H. 
`,
	`Actually, typing random strings in the Finder does the equivalent of
filename completion.
		-- Discussion on file completion vs. the Mac Finder
`,
	`Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh
autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.
		-- P. J. O Rourke
`,
	`Death

Men flow into life, and ebb into death.
Some are filled with life;
Some are empty with death;
Some hold fast to life, and thereby perish,
For life is an abstraction.
Those who are filled with life
Need not fear tigers and rhinos in the wilds,
Nor wear armour and shields in battle;
The rhinoceros finds no place in them for its horn,
The tiger no place for its claw,
The soldier no place for a weapon,
For death finds no place in them.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`<Overfiend> we re calling 2.2 _POTATO_??
`,
	`The way to a man s stomach is through his esophagus.
`,
	`An evil mind is a great comfort.
`,
	`You always have the option of pitching baseballs at empty spray paint cans
in a cul-de-sac in a Cleveland suburb.
`,
	`It [being a Vulcan] means to adopt a philosophy, a way of life which is
logical and beneficial.  We cannot disregard that philosophy merely for
personal gain, no matter how important that gain might be.
		-- Spock,  Journey to Babel , stardate 3842.4
`,
	`gyroscope, n.:
	A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also
	free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpindicular to
	each other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the
	two mutually perpendicular axes results from application of
	torque to the other when the wheel is spinning and so that the
	entire apparatus offers considerable opposition depending on
	the angular momentum to any torque that would change the direction
	of the axis of spin.
		-- Webster s Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary
`,
	`I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.  There s a
knob called  brightness , but it doesn t seem to work.
		-- Gallagher
`,
	`Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait.
	[If youth but knew, if old age but could.]
		-- Henri Estienne
`,
	`Ain t nothin  an old man can do for me but bring me a message from a young man.
		-- Moms Mabley
`,
	` Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like  Amadeus ?  I could
have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing. 
		-- Ian Shoales
`,
	`Early to bed and early to rise and you ll be groggy when everyone else is
wide awake.
`,
	`One of the worst of my many faults is that I m too critical of myself.
`,
	`I m glad we don t have to play in the shade.
		-- Golfer Bobby Jones on being told that it was 105 degrees
		   in the shade.
`,
	`It s like deja vu all over again.
		-- Yogi Berra
`,
	`Deadwood, n.:
	Anyone in your company who is more senior than you are.
`,
	`It s from Casablanca.  I ve been waiting all my life to use that line.
		-- Woody Allen,  Play It Again, Sam 
`,
	`If you want to program in C, program in C.  It s a nice language.  I
use it occasionally...   :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <7577@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`Jesus is my POSTMASTER GENERAL ...
`,
	`Politicians are the same all over.  They promise to build a bridge even
where there is no river.
		-- Nikita Khrushchev
`,
	`	A musical reviewer admitted he always praised the first show of a
new theatrical season.   Who am I to stone the first cast? 
`,
	`Many pages make a thick book.
`,
	`Christmas time is here, by Golly;	Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens;
Disapproval would be folly;		Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens;
Deck the halls with hunks of holly;	Even though the prospect sickens,
Fill the cup and don t say when...	Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas day, you can t get sore;	Relations sparing no expense ll,
Your fellow man you must adore;		Send some useless old utensil,
There s time to rob him all the more,	Or a matching pen and pencil,
The other three hundred and sixty-four!	Just the thing I need... how nice.

It doesn t matter how sincere		Hark The Herald-Tribune sings,
It is, nor how heartfelt the spirit;	Advertising wondrous things.
Sentiment will not endear it;		God Rest Ye Merry Merchants,
What s important is... the price.	May you make the Yuletide pay.
					Angels We Have Heard On High,
Let the raucous sleighbells jingle;	Tell us to go out and buy.
Hail our dear old friend, Kris Kringle,	Sooooo...
Driving his reindeer across the sky,
Don t stand underneath when they fly by!
		-- Tom Lehrer
`,
	`Someone in DAYTON, Ohio is selling USED CARPETS to a SERBO-CROATIAN
`,
	`It was raining heavily, and the motorist had car trouble on a lonely country
road.  Anxious to find shelter for the night, he walked over to a farmhouse
and knocked on the front door.  No one responded.  He could feel the water
from the roof running down the back of his neck as he stood on the stoop.
The next time he knocked louder, but still no answer.  By now he was soaked
to the skin.  Desperately he pounded on the door.  At last the head of a
man appeared out of an upstairs window.
	 What do you want?  he asked gruffly.
	 My car broke down,  said the traveler,  and I want to know if you
would let me stay here for the night. 
	 Sure,  replied the man.  If you want to stay there all night, it s
okay with me. 
`,
	`If at first you don t succeed, you are running about average.
`,
	`A CONS is an object which cares.
		-- Bernie Greenberg.
`,
	`You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for
freedom and liberty.
		-- Henrik Ibsen
`,
	` But officer, I was only trying to gain enough speed so I could coast
to the nearest gas station. 
`,
	`The best man for the job is often a woman.
`,
	`Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
`,
	`This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms
industry is now in the American experience... We must not fail to
comprehend its grave implications... We must guard against the
acquisition of unwarranted influence...by the military-industrial
complex.  The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power
exists and will persist.
		-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, from his farewell address in 1961
`,
	`For good, return good.
For evil, return justice.
`,
	`Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
`,
	`Today is the last day of your life so far.
`,
	`You may be right, I may be crazy,
But it just may be a lunatic you re looking for!
		-- Billy Joel
`,
	`
 Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it s not cockroaches! 
		-- Mom
`,
	` The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as
we could with both of them. 
		-- Joseph Heller,  Catch-22 
`,
	`Sin boldly.
		-- Martin Luther
`,
	`We are all born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized
before we are fit to participate in society.
		-- Judith Martin,  Miss Manners  Guide to Excruciatingly
		   Correct Behaviour 
`,
	`Time goes, you say?
Ah no!
Time stays, *we* go.
		-- Austin Dobson
`,
	`<|Rain|> Knghtbrd: let me give you access to the zone files
<Knghtbrd> oh gods - you do realize I have never played with bind right?
<|Rain|> uhoh :)
`,
	`You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
`,
	`[32m《郡斋雨中与诸文士燕集》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
兵卫森画戟，燕寝凝清香。
海上风雨至，逍遥池阁凉。
烦疴近消散，嘉宾复满堂。
自惭居处崇，未睹斯民康。
理会是非遣，性达形迹忘。
鲜肥属时禁，蔬果幸见尝。
俯饮一杯酒，仰聆金玉章。
神欢体自轻，意欲凌风翔。
吴中盛文史，群彦今汪洋。
方知大藩地，岂曰财赋强。
`,
	` Oh, yes.  The important thing about having lots of things to  remember is
that you ve got to go somewhere afterwards where you can remember them, you
see?  You ve got to stop.  You haven t really been anywhere until you ve got
back home.  I think that s what I mean. 
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Light Fantastic 
`,
	`If at first you fricasee, fry, fry again.
`,
	`Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
`,
	`I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
		-- Bill Hoest
`,
	`Whoever would lie usefully should lie seldom.
`,
	`As you grow older, you will still do foolish things, but you will do them
with much more enthusiasm.
		-- The Cowboy
`,
	`Your present plans will be successful.
`,
	`Insufficient facts always invite danger.
		-- Spock,  Space Seed , stardate 3141.9
`,
	`The heart is not a logical organ.
		-- Dr. Janet Wallace,  The Deadly Years , stardate 3479.4
`,
	` Every man has his price.  Mine is $3.95. 
`,
	`Tex SEX!  The HOME of WHEELS!  The dripping of COFFEE!!  Take me to
Minnesota but don t EMBARRASS me!!
`,
	`The perfect friend sees the best in you -- sees it constantly -- not just
when you occasionally are that way, but also when you waver, when you
forget yourself, act like less than you are. In time, you become more
like his vision of you -- which is the person you have always wanted to be.
		-- Nancy Friday
`,
	`Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
`,
	`I m having an EMOTIONAL OUTBURST!!  But, uh, WHY is there a WAFFLE in
my PAJAMA POCKET??
`,
	`Mollison s Bureaucracy Hypothesis:
	If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented
	it wasn t worth doing.
`,
	`All right, you degenerates!  I want this place evacuated in 20 seconds!
`,
	`A man was kneeling by a grave in a cemetery, crying and praying very loudly,
	 Oh why..eeeee did you die...eeeeee, Oh Why..eeeeee,
why did you Di......eeee 
The caretaker walks up, pardons himself and asks politely,
	 Excuse me, sir, but I ve been seeing you for hours now,
carrying on at this grave.  You must have been very close to the deceased. 
	 No, I never met him.  Oh why....eeeee did you dieeeeee,
why....eeeee did you.. 
	 Sir, you say you never met this person, yet you carry on so?
Tell, me who is buried here? 
	 My wife s first husband. 
`,
	`Why do seagulls live near the sea?   Cause if they lived near the bay,
they d be called baygulls.
`,
	`We can found no scientific discipline, nor a healthy profession on the
technical mistakes of the Department of Defense and IBM.
		-- Edsger Dijkstra
`,
	`Man will never fly.  Space travel is merely a dream.  All aspirin is alike.
`,
	`Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.
		-- Buckaroo Bonzai
`,
	`When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.
		-- Samuel Johnson
`,
	`I just know I m a better manager when I have Joe DiMaggio in center field.
		-- Casey Stengel
`,
	`A pretty foot is one of the greatest gifts of nature... please send me your
last pair of shoes, already worn out in dancing... so I can have something
of yours to press against my heart.
		-- Goethe
`,
	` Life sucks, but death doesn t put out at all.... 
		-- Thomas J. Kopp
`,
	`Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.  In war,
you can only be killed once.
		-- Winston Churchill
`,
	`All my friends and I are crazy.  That s the only thing that keeps us sane.
`,
	`May contain nuts.
`,
	`And this is a table ma am.  What in essence it consists of is a horizontal
rectilinear plane surface maintained by four vertical columnar supports,
which we call legs.  The tables in this laboratory, ma am, are as advanced
in design as one will find anywhere in the world.
		-- Michael Frayn,  The Tin Men 
`,
	`Yes, but will I see the EASTER BUNNY in skintight leather at an IRON
MAIDEN concert?
`,
	`I m enthralled by combine harvesters. In fact, I yearn to have one --
as a pet.
		--  The Day of the Jackal 
`,
	`A neighbor came to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey.   It is out on
loan,  the teacher replied.  At that moment, the donkey brayed loudly inside
the stable.   But I can hear it bray, over there.    Whom do you believe, 
asked Nasrudin,  me or a donkey? 
`,
	`revision 1.17.2.7
date: 2001/05/31 21:32:44;  author: branden;  state: Exp;  lines: +1 -1
ARRRRGH!!  GOT THE G** D*** SENSE OF A F******* TEST BACKWARDS!
`,
	`Anything is possible, unless it s not.
`,
	`[32m《赠孟浩然》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
吾爱孟夫子，风流天下闻。
红颜弃轩冕，白首卧松云。
醉月频中圣，迷花不事君。
高山安可仰，徒此揖清芬。
`,
	`Good night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate s
new lover.
`,
	`DEC diagnostics would run on a dead whale.
		-- Mel Ferentz
`,
	`A list is only as strong as its weakest link.
		-- Don Knuth
`,
	`There s nothing like good food, good wine, and a bad girl.
`,
	`My father taught me three things:
	(1) Never mix whiskey with anything but water.
	(2) Never try to draw to an inside straight.
	(3) Never discuss business with anyone who refuses to give his name.
`,
	`All men profess honesty as long as they can.  To believe all men honest
would be folly.  To believe none so is something worse.
		-- John Quincy Adams
`,
	`beta test, v:
	To voluntarily entrust one s data, one s livelihood and one s
	sanity to hardware or software intended to destroy all three.
	In earlier days, virgins were often selected to beta test volcanos.
`,
	`Drinking coffee for instant relaxation?  That s like drinking alcohol for
instant motor skills.
		-- Marc Price
`,
	`Fifteen men on a dead man s chest,
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest,
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
		-- Stevenson,  Treasure Island 
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: ...and what did he do then?
A: He came home, and next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?
`,
	`Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
		-- Franklin P. Jones
`,
	`Emacs, n.:
	A slow-moving parody of a text editor.
`,
	`(1) Never draw what you can copy.
(2) Never copy what you can trace.
(3) Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.
`,
	`Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
`,
	`Pushing 40 is exercise enough.
`,
	`[32m《听蜀僧浚弹琴》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
蜀僧抱绿绮，西下峨嵋峰。
为我一挥手，如听万壑松。
客心洗流水，余响入霜钟。
不觉碧山暮，秋云暗几重。
`,
	`But you shall not escape my iambics.
		-- Gaius Valerius Catullus
`,
	`Your reasoning is excellent -- it s only your basic assumptions that are wrong.
`,
	`Think honk if you re a telepath.
`,
	`There cannot be a crisis next week.  My schedule is already full.
		-- Henry Kissinger
`,
	`	A manager went to the master programmer and showed him the requirements
document for a new application.  The manager asked the master:  How long will
it take to design this system if I assign five programmers to it? 
	 It will take one year,  said the master promptly.
	 But we need this system immediately or even sooner!  How long will it
take it I assign ten programmers to it? 
	The master programmer frowned.   In that case, it will take two years. 
	 And what if I assign a hundred programmers to it? 
	The master programmer shrugged.   Then the design will never be
completed,  he said.
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`Do you know about being with somebody?  Wanting to be?  If I had the
whole universe, I d give it to you, Janice.  When I see you, I feel
like I m hungry all over.  Do you know how that feels?
		-- Charlie Evans,  Charlie X , stardate 1535.8
`,
	`The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled
culinary vessel will not achieve 100 degrees on the Celsius scale.
`,
	`I just ate a whole package of Sweet Tarts and a can of Coke. I think I saw God.
		-- B. Hathrume Duk
`,
	`15% gratuity added for parties over 8.
`,
	`Juall s Law on Nice Guys:
	Nice guys don t always finish last; sometimes they don t finish.
	Sometimes they don t even get a chance to start!
`,
	`My parents went to Niagara Falls and all I got was this crummy life.
`,
	`Tact, n.:
	The unsaid part of what you re thinking.
`,
	`<KnaraKat> DalNet is like the special olympics of IRC.  There s a lot of
           drooling goin  on and everyone is a  winner .
`,
	`Words must be weighed, not counted.
`,
	`Since when has the purpose of debian been to appease the interests of the
mass of unskilled consumers?        -- Steve Shorter
`,
	`I will never lie to you.
`,
	`<Xavvy> is that really knghtbrd?
<Knghtbrd> No, I m an EVIL IMPOSTOR!
<Knghtbrd> An evil impostor who LIKES HYBRID!
<Xavvy> haha
<Xavvy> ok, it s him :P
`,
	`If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save
you.  If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not
bring forth will destroy you.
		-- Jesus,  Gnostic Gospels  (Elaine Pagel)
`,
	` There is nothing new under the sun, but there are lots of old things
 we don t know yet. 
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Most rock journalism is people who can t write interviewing people who
can t talk for people who can t read.
		-- Frank Zappa
`,
	`Women give to men the very gold of their lives.  Possibly; but they
invariably want it back in such very small change.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`I really hate this damned machine
I wish that they would sell it.
It never does quite what I want
But only what I tell it.
`,
	`[32m《送杜少府之任蜀州》[m
[33m作者：王勃[m
城阙辅三秦，风烟望五津。
与君离别意，同是宦游人。
海内存知己，天涯若比邻。
无为在岐路，儿女共沾巾。
`,
	`There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.
		-- Anatole France
`,
	`If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.
`,
	`Love is staying up all night with a sick child, or a healthy adult.
`,
	`Please stand for the National Anthem:

	Oh, say can you see by dawn s early light
	What so proudly we hailed at the twilight s last gleaming?
	Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight
	O er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
	And the rockets  red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
	Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
	Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
	O er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Thank you.  You may resume your seat.
`,
	`What fools these mortals be.
		-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
`,
	` ...and scantily clad females, of course.  Who cares if it s below zero
outside 
(By Linus Torvalds)
`,
	` Few sins are less forgivable in polite society than offering poor
 people products they actively seek. 
   -- Katherine Mangu-Ward,  Education for Profit , Reason Magazine, July 2008
`,
	`I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
		-- William Allen White
`,
	`Life Sucks.  Cynical, misanthropic male, 34, looking for soul mate but
certain not to find her.  Drop me a note.  I ll call you, we ll talk and
I ll ask you out to dinner where I ll probably spend more than I can
afford in a feeble attempt to impress you.  Then we ll realize we have
absolutely nothing in common and we ll go our separate ways, more
embittered and depressed than before (if such a thing is possible).
`,
	`Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
`,
	`I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I ve ever known.
		-- Walt Disney
`,
	`A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
		-- Groucho Marx
`,
	` There must be some mistake,  he said,  are you not a greater computer than
the Milliard Gargantubrain which can count all the atoms in a star in a
millisecond? 
 The Milliard Gargantubrain?  said Deep Thought with unconcealed contempt.
 A mere abacus.  Mention it not. 
		-- Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy
`,
	`QOTD:
	I opened Pandora s box, let the cat out of the bag and put the
	ball in their court.
		-- Hon. J. Hacker (The Ministry of Administrative Affairs)
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.
`,
	`The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions.
`,
	`Unix:  Some say the learning curve is steep, but you only have to climb it once.
		-- Karl Lehenbauer
`,
	`And all that the Lorax left here in this mess
was a small pile of rocks with the one word,  unless. 
Whatever THAT meant, well, I just couldn t guess.
That was long, long ago, and each day since that day,
I ve worried and worried and worried away.
Through the years as my buildings have fallen apart,
I ve worried about it with all of my heart.

 BUT,  says the Oncler,  now that you re here,
the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear!
UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better - it s not.
So... CATCH!  cries the Oncler.  He lets something fall.
 It s a truffula seed.  It s the last one of all!

 You re in charge of the last of the truffula seeds.
And truffula trees are what everyone needs.
Plant a new truffula -- treat it with care.
Give it clean water and feed it fresh air.
Grow a forest -- protect it from axes that hack.
Then the Lorax and all of his friends may come back! 
`,
	`Shopping at this grody little computer store at the Galleria for a
totally awwwesome Apple.  Fer suuure.  I mean Apples are nice you know?
But, you know, there is this cute guy who works there and HE says that
VAX s are cooler!  I mean I don t really know, you know? He says that he
has this totally tubular VAX at home and it s stuffed with memory-to-the-max!
Right, yeah.  And he wants to take me home to show it to me.  Oh My God!
I m suuure.  Gag me with a Prime!
`,
	`Murray s Rule:
	Any country with  democratic  in the title isn t.
`,
	`... in three to eight years we will have a machine with the general
intelligence of an average human being ... The machine will begin
to educate itself with fantastic speed.  In a few months it will be
at genius level and a few months after that its powers will be
incalculable ...
		-- Marvin Minsky, LIFE Magazine, November 20, 1970
`,
	`<Endy> knghtbrd: QW s netcode is doing strange things to me. :P
<knghtbrd> This is unusual?  ;>
<Endy> Not really. :P
`,
	`Staff meeting in the conference room in %d minutes.
`,
	`It is better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
`,
	`<StevenK> You re rewriting parts of Quake in *Python*?
<knghtbrd> MUAHAHAHA
`,
	`Who s on first?
`,
	`In 1914, the first crossword puzzle was printed in a newspaper.  The
creator received $4000 down ... and $3000 across.
`,
	` As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a
thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. 
		-- Hagar the Horrible
`,
	`Q:	What s the difference between the 1950 s and the 1980 s?
A:	In the 80 s, a man walks into a drugstore and states loudly,  I d
	like some condoms,  and then, leaning over the counter, whispers,
	 and some cigarettes. 
`,
	` We will bury you. 
		-- Nikita Kruschev
`,
	`Martin was probably ripping them off.  That s some family, isn t it?
Incest, prostitution, fanaticism, software.
		-- Charles Willeford,  Miami Blues 
`,
	`Birthdays are like busses, never the number you want.
`,
	`Intel engineering seem to have misheard Intel marketing strategy. The phrase
was  Divide and conquer  not  Divide and cock up 
(By iialan@www.linux.org.uk, Alan Cox)
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日》[m
[33m作者:程颢（１０３２－１０８５）[m
云淡风轻近午天，傍花随柳过前川。
时人不识余心乐，将谓偷闲学少年。
`,
	`Never be afraid to tell the world who you are.
		-- Anonymous
`,
	`I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year s fashions.
		-- Lillian Hellman
`,
	`When I say the magic word to all these people, they will vanish forever.
I will then say the magic words to you, and you, too, will vanish -- never
to be seen again.
		-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.,  Between Time and Timbuktu 
`,
	` Hey Ivan, check your six. 
-- Sidewinder missile jacket patch, showing a Sidewinder driving up the tail
 of a Russian Su-27
`,
	`The default Magic Word,  Abracadabra , actually is a corruption of the
Hebrew phrase  ha-Bracha dab ra  which means  pronounce the blessing .
`,
	`Not everything worth doing is worth doing well.
`,
	`A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.
		-- Edgar A. Shoaff
`,
	` I mean, like, I just read your article in the Yale law recipe, on search and
seizure.  Man, that was really Out There. 
    I was so WRECKED when I wrote that... 
		-- John Lovitz, as ex-Supreme Court nominee Alan Ginsburg, on SNL
`,
	`Weinberg s Second Law:
	If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
	then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
`,
	`I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year s fashions.
		-- Lillian Hellman
`,
	`Magnocartic, adj.:
	Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
		-- Sniglets,  Rich Hall & Friends 
`,
	`If I don t drive around the park,
I m pretty sure to make my mark.
If I m in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again.
If I abstain from fun and such,
I ll probably amount to much;
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.
		-- Dorothy Parker
`,
	`The Marines:
	The few, the proud, the not very bright.
`,
	`Nobody said computers were going to be polite.
`,
	`The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
`,
	`But it s real.  And if it s real it can be affected ...  we may not be able
to break it, but, I ll bet you credits to Navy Beans we can put a dent in it.
		-- deSalle,  Catspaw , stardate 3018.2
`,
	` Largely because it is so tangible and exciting a program and as such will
serve to keep alive the interest and enthusiasm of the whole spectrum of
society...It is justified because...the program can give a sense of shared
adventure and achievement to the society at large. 
		-- Dr. Colin S. Pittendrigh, in  The History of Manned Space Flight 
`,
	`If we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it,
and involve others in our doom.
		-- Samuel Adams
`,
	`Obviously I was either onto something, or on something.
		-- Larry Wall on the creation of Perl
`,
	`Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.
		-- Louise Beal
`,
	`<Knghtbrd> Granted, RMS is a fanatic, I don t deny this.  I ll even say
           he s a royal pain in the arse most of the time.  But he s
           still more often right than not, and he deserves some level of
           credit and respect for his work.  We would NOT be here today
           without him.
`,
	`The end of the world will occur at three p.m., this Friday, with
symposium to follow.
`,
	` It s easier said than done. 

... and if you don t believe it, try proving that it s easier done than
said, and you ll see that  it s easier said that  it s easier done than
said  than it is done , which really proves that  it s easier said than
done .
`,
	`I m sorry if the following sounds combative and excessively personal,
but that s my general style.        -- Ian Jackson
`,
	`Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
		-- Lily Tomlin
`,
	`With/Without - and who ll deny it s what the fighting s all about?
		-- Pink Floyd
`,
	`What we see depends on mainly what we look for.
		-- John Lubbock
`,
	`The problem with this country is that there is no death penalty for
incompetence.
`,
	`Q:	Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man
	soup in a plate?
A:	 Cause if you give him a bowl, he ll throw it away.
`,
	`Bore, n.:
	A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`In these matters the only certainty is that there is nothing certain.
		-- Pliny the Elder
`,
	`He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
`,
	`1893 The ideal brain tonic
1900 Drink Coca-Cola -- delicious and refreshing -- 5 cents at all
	soda fountains
1905 Is the favorite drink for LADIES when thirsty -- weary -- despondent
1905 Refreshes the weary, brightens the intellect and clears the brain
1906 The drink of QUALITY
1907 Good to the last drop
1907 It satisfies the thirst and pleases the palate
1907 Refreshing as a summer breeze.  Delightful as a Dip in the Sea
1908 The Drink that Cheers but does not inebriate
1917 There s a delicious freshness to the taste of Coca-Cola
1919 It satisfies thirst
1919 The taste is the test
1922 Every glass holds the answer to thirst
1922 Thirst knows no season
1925 Enjoy the sociable drink
		-- Coca-Cola slogans
`,
	`Am I SHOPLIFTING?
`,
	`I think we are in Rats  Alley where the dead men lost their bones.
		-- T.S. Eliot
`,
	`Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
		-- Henry David Thoreau
`,
	`There s such a thing as too much point on a pencil.
		-- H. Allen Smith,  Let the Crabgrass Grow 
`,
	`... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those
who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent,
and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious
and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men.
		-- Voltarine de Cleyre
`,
	`But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o  mice an  men
Gang aft a-gley,
An  lea e us nought but grief and pain
For promised joy.
		-- Robert Burns,  To a Mouse , 1785
`,
	`Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
`,
	`I suppose one could claim that an undocumented feature has no
semantics.  :-(
		-- Larry Wall in <199710290036.QAA01818@wall.org>
`,
	`< asuffield> fibre in the US is such a joke. in the civilized parts of
             the world, DSL *starts* at the speeds where US fibre lets off
< joshk> asuffield: australia is a nation full of savages?
< asuffield> joshk: they ve got about one 9600 modem between the whole
             damn country
		-- in #debian-devel
`,
	`Roland was a warrior, from the land of the midnight sun,
With a Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done.
The deal was made in Denmark, on a dark and stormy day,
So he set out for Biafra, to join the bloody fray.
Through sixty-six and seven, they fought the Congo war,
With their fingers on their triggers, knee deep in gore.
Days and nights they battled, the Bantu to their knees,
They killed to earn their living, and to help out the Congolese.
	Roland the Thompson gunner...
His comrades fought beside him, Van Owen and the rest,
But of all the Thompson gunners, Roland was the best.
So the C.I.A decided, they wanted Roland dead,
That son-of-a-bitch Van Owen, blew off Roland s head.
	Roland the headless Thompson gunner...
Roland searched the continent, for the man who d done him in.
He found him in Mombasa, in a bar room drinking gin,
Roland aimed his Thompson gun, he didn t say a word,
But he blew Van Owen s body from there to Johannesburg.
The eternal Thompson gunner, still wandering through the night,
Now it s ten years later, but he stills keeps up the fight.
In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Palestine, in Berkeley,
Patty Hearst... heard the burst... of Roland s Thompson gun, and bought it.
		-- Warren Zevon,  Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner 
`,
	`Is truth not truth for all?
		-- Natira,  For the World is Hollow and I have Touched
		   the Sky , stardate 5476.4.
`,
	`If it ain t baroque, don t phiques it.
`,
	`Death before dishonor.  But neither before breakfast.
`,
	`Extract from Official Sweepstakes Rules:

		NO PURCHASE REQUIRED TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE

To claim your prize without purchase, do the following: (a) Carefully
cut out your computer-printed name and address from upper right hand
corner of the Prize Claim Form. (b) Affix computer-printed name and
address -- with glue or cellophane tape (no staples or paper clips) --
to a 3x5 inch index card.  (c) Also cut out the  No  paragraph (lower
left hand corner of Prize Claim Form) and affix it to the 3x5 card
below your address label. (d) Then print on your 3x5 card, above your
computer-printed name and address the words  CARTER & VAN PEEL
SWEEPSTAKES  (Use all capital letters.)  (e) Finally place 3x5 card
(without bending) into a plain envelope [NOTE: do NOT use the the
Official Prize Claim and CVP Perfume Reply Envelope or you may be
disqualified], and mail to: CVP, Box 1320, Westbury, NY 11595.  Print
this address correctly.  Comply with above instructions carefully and
completely or you may be disqualified from receiving your prize.
`,
	`... it is easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the
sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all.  In other
words... their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their
superficial design flaws.
		-- The Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy, on the products
	           of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
`,
	`Where s the Coke machine?  Tell me a joke!!
`,
	`And on the eighth day, we bulldozed it.
`,
	`Simplicity does not precede complexity, but follows it.
`,
	`Let s organize this thing and take all the fun out of it.
`,
	`First off - Quake is simply incredible. It lets you repeatedly kill your
boss in the office without being arrested. :)
		-- Signal 11, in a slashdot comment
`,
	`Anthony s Law of Force:
	Don t force it; get a larger hammer.
`,
	`This is a NO-FRILLS flight -- hold th  CANADIAN BACON!!
`,
	`<Cylord> Would it be acceptable to debian policy if we inserted a crontab
         by default into potato that emailed bill.gates@microsoft.com
         every morning with an email that read,  Don t worry, linux is a
         fad... 
`,
	`Ryan s Law:
	Make three correct guesses consecutively
	and you will establish yourself as an expert.
`,
	`It s certainly easy to calculate the average attendance for Perl
conferences.
		-- Larry Wall in <199710071721.KAA19014@wall.org>
`,
	`Now I am depressed ...
`,
	` When the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as if
it were a nail. 
		-- Abraham Maslow
`,
	`On the subject of C program indentation:
	 In My Egotistical Opinion, most people s C programs should be
	indented six feet downward and covered with dirt. 
		-- Blair P. Houghton
`,
	`WARNING!!!
This machine is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need.

A special circuit in the machine called  critical detector  senses the
operator s emotional state in terms of how desperate he/she is to use the
machine.  The  critical detector  then creates a malfunction proportional
to the desperation of the operator.  Threatening the machine with violence
only aggravates the situation.  Likewise, attempts to use another machine
may cause it to malfunction.  They belong to the same union.  Keep cool
and say nice things to the machine.  Nothing else seems to work.

See also: flog(1), tm(1)
`,
	`Our documentation manager was showing her 2 year old son around the office.
He was introduced to me, at which time he pointed out that we were both
holding bags of popcorn.  We were both holding bottles of juice.  But only
*__he* had a lollipop.
	He asked his mother,  Why doesn t HE have a lollipop? 
	Her reply:  He can have a lollipop any time he wants to.  That s
what it means to be a programmer. 
`,
	`... the HIGHWAY is made out of LIME JELLO and my HONDA is a barbequeued
OYSTER!  Yum!
`,
	`Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.
		-- Snoopy
`,
	`I d never cry if I did find
	A blue whale in my soup...
Nor would I mind a porcupine
	Inside a chicken coop.
Yes life is fine when things combine,	
	Like ham in beef chow mein...
But lord, this time I think I mind,
	They ve put acid in my rain.
		-- - Milo Bloom
`,
	`<n3tg0d> has /usr/bin/emacs been put into /etc/shells yet?  :P
`,
	`The herd instinct among economists makes sheep look like independent thinkers.
`,
	`Sed quis custodiet ipsos Custodes?
	[Who guards the Guardians?]
`,
	`But then it s a bit odd to think that declaring something int could
actually slow down the program, if it ended up forcing more conversions
back to string.
		-- Larry Wall in <199708040319.UAA16213@wall.org>
`,
	` 355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation! 
`,
	`Recent investments will yield a slight profit.
`,
	`<cesarb> Damn, every time I spawn, qf-client-x11 locks hard
<Zoid> Don t die?
<Knghtbrd> good incentive.
`,
	`Positive, adj.:
	Mistaken at the top of one s voice.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is
the best one.
		-- Jack Hurley
`,
	` Only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core. 
		-- Hannah Arendt.
`,
	`It is impossible to experience one s death objectively and still carry a tune.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	` Morality is one thing.  Ratings are everything. 
		-- A Network 23 executive on  Max Headroom 
`,
	`If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
		-- Art Hoppe
`,
	`America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`Gold coast slave ship bound for cotton fields
Sold in a market down in New Orleans
Scarred old slaver knows he s doing alright
Hear him whip the women, just around midnight

Ah, brown sugar how come you taste so good?
Ah, brown sugar just like a young girl should

Drums beating cold English blood runs hot
Lady of the house wonderin  where it s gonna stop
House boy knows that he s doing alright
You should a heard him just around midnight.
...
I bet your mama was tent show queen
And all her girlfriends were sweet sixteen
I m no school boy but I know what I like
You should have heard me just around midnight.
		-- Rolling Stones,  Brown Sugar 
`,
	`It seems a little silly now, but this country was founded as a protest
against taxation.
`,
	`System going down at 1:45 this afternoon for disk crashing.
`,
	`Rules for Writers:
	Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.  Don t use no double
negatives.  Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate;
and never where it isn t.  Reserve the apostrophe for it s proper use and
omit it when its not needed.  No sentence fragments. Avoid commas, that are
unnecessary.  Eschew dialect, irregardless.  And don t start a sentence with
a conjunction.  Hyphenate between sy-llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.
Write all adverbial forms correct.  Don t use contractions in formal writing.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.  It is incumbent on
us to avoid archaisms.  Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have
snuck in the language.  Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.  If I ve
told you once, I ve told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.  Also,
avoid awkward or affected alliteration.  Don t string too many prepositional
phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of
death.   Avoid overuse of  quotation  marks.   
`,
	`Mr. Cole s Axiom:
	The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the
	population is growing.
`,
	`	 What happened to the crewman? 
	 The M-5 computer needed a new power source, the crewman merely got in
the way. 
		-- Kirk and Dr. Richard Daystrom,  The Ultimate Computer ,
		   stardate 4731.3.
`,
	`The turtle lives  twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	`It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program.
What fun is there in making plans, acquiring discipline in organizing
thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
		-- Alan Perlis
`,
	`Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to
twelve people that weren t smart enough to get out of jury duty!
`,
	`A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, carries it to the bathroom and dumps it
into a urinal.  Over the course of the next few hours, he goes back to the bar
and repeats this sequence -- several times.  Finally the bartender got so
curious that he leaned over the bar and asked him what he was doing.

Replied the customer,  Avoiding the middleman. 
`,
	`Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
`,
	`Dear Mister Language Person: I am curious about the expression,  Part of
this complete breakfast .  The way it comes up is, my 5-year-old will be
watching TV cartoon shows in the morning, and they ll show a commercial for
a children s compressed breakfast compound such as  Froot Loops  or  Lucky
Charms , and they always show it sitting on a table next to some actual food
such as eggs, and the announcer always says:  Part of this complete
breakfast .  Don t that really mean,  Adjacent to this complete breakfast ,
or  On the same table as this complete breakfast ?  And couldn t they make
essentially the same claim if, instead of Froot Loops, they put a can of
shaving cream there, or a dead bat?

Answer: Yes.
		-- Dave Barry,  Tips for Writer s 
`,
	`[32m《别房太尉墓》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
他乡复行役，驻马别孤坟。
近泪无干土，低空有断云。
对棋陪谢傅，把剑觅徐君。
唯见林花落，莺啼送客闻。
`,
	`-- All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.
-- When there are visible vapors having the prevenience in ignited
	carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.
-- Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.
-- A plethora of individuals wither expertise in culinary techniques vitiated
	the potable concoction produced by steeping certain coupestibles.
-- Eleemosynary deeds have their initial incidence intramurally.
-- Male cadavers are incapable of yielding testimony.
-- Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be well
	advised to refrain from catapulting projectiles.
`,
	`It is enough to make one sympathize with a tyrant for the determination
of his courtiers to deceive him for their own personal ends...
		-- Russell Baker and Charles Peters
`,
	`Unix Express:
All passenger bring a piece of the aeroplane and a box of tools with them to
the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind
of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, the
passengers split into groups and build several different aircraft, but give
them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations.
All passengers believe they got there.
`,
	`Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
		-- H. L. Mencken,  A Mencken Chrestomathy 
`,
	`[32m题目:《宿甘露寺僧舍》[m
[33m作者:曾公亮（９９８－１０７８）[m
枕中云气千峰近，床底松声万壑哀。
要看银山拍天浪，开窗放入大江来。
`,
	`I think we re in trouble.
		-- Han Solo
`,
	`There s always free cheese in a mousetrap.
`,
	`I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.  You couldn t park anywhere near
the place.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`Most public domain software is free, at least at first glance.
`,
	`Formatted to fit your screen.
`,
	`We make our mailing list available to selected organizations.
`,
	`If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something
to do with a shortage of flowers.
		-- Doug Larson

	[Not to mention, butterfly would be flutterby. Ed.]
`,
	`Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have
drawn them there.  What you choose to do with them is up to you.
		-- Messiah s Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul
`,
	`The party adjourned to a hot tub, yes.  Fully clothed, I might add.
		-- IBM employee, testifying in California State Supreme Court
`,
	`[Norm goes into the bar at Vic s Bowl-A-Rama.]

Off-screen crowd:  Norm!
Sam:   How the hell do they know him here?
Cliff: He s got a life, you know.
		-- Cheers, From Beer to Eternity

Woody: What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:  Elope with my wife.
		-- Cheers, The Triangle

Woody: How s life, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:  Oh, I m waiting for the movie.
		-- Cheers, Take My Shirt... Please?
`,
	`Our little systems have their day;
They have their day and cease to be;
They are but broken lights of thee.
		-- Tennyson
`,
	`Remember -- only 10% of anything can be in the top 10%.
`,
	`If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
`,
	`To any truly impartial person, it would be obvious that I am always right.
`,
	`		 ___          ______	       Frobtech, Inc.
                /__/\     ___/_____/\
                \  \ \   /         /\\
                 \  \ \_/__       /  \          If you ve got the job,
                 _\  \ \  /\_____/___ \         we ve got the frob. 
                // \__\/ /  \       /\ \
        _______//_______/    \     / _\/______
       /      / \       \    /    / /        /\
    __/      /   \       \  /    / /        / _\__
   / /      /     \_______\/    / /        / /   /\
  /_/______/___________________/ /________/ /___/  \
  \ \      \    ___________    \ \        \ \   \  /
   \_\      \  /          /\    \ \        \ \___\/
      \      \/          /  \    \ \        \  /
       \_____/          /    \    \ \________\/
            /__________/      \    \  /
            \   _____  \      /_____\/
             \ /    /\  \    / \  \ \
              /____/  \  \  /   \  \ \
              \    \  /___\/     \  \ \
               \____\/            \__\/
`,
	`	A crow perched himself on a telephone wire.  He was going to make a
long-distance caw.
`,
	`It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
`,
	`Are you selling NYLON OIL WELLS??  If so, we can use TWO DOZEN!!
`,
	`A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention,
and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`Sanity and insanity overlap a fine grey line.
`,
	`What will you do if all your problems aren t solved by the time you die?
`,
	`Harold had never wanted a woman so much in his life, upon overhearing the
22-year-old beauty remark that he was too old and out of shape for her.  The
determined septuagenarian immediately embarked upon a rigorous self-improvement
program.  He had his face lifted, bought a toupee, ran five miles every day,
lifted weights and adopted a strict vegetarian diet.  Within months, the
rejuvenated man won the young woman s heart, and she agreed to marry him.
	On the way out of the chapel, however, Harold was fatally struck
by lightning.  Furious, he confronted Saint Peter at the pearly gates.   How
could you do this to me after all the pain I went through? 
	 To be honest, Harold,  Saint Peter sheepishly replied,  I didn t
recognize you. 
`,
	`Eight was also the Number of Bel-Shamharoth, which was why a sensible wizard
would never mention the number if he could avoid it.  Or you ll be eight
alive, apprentices were jocularly warned.  Bel-Shamharoth was especially
attracted to dabblers in magic who, by being as it were beachcombers on the
shores of the unnatural, were already half-enmeshed in his nets.
Rincewind s room number in his hall of residence had been 7a.  He hadn t
been surprised.
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Sending of Eight 
`,
	`Now there s three things you can do in a baseball game: you can win
or you can lose or it can rain.
		-- Casey Stengel
`,
	`Ozmosis:
	The inability of one s job to live up to one s self-image.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`No lifeguard on duty.
`,
	`Editing is a rewording activity.
`,
	`<doogie> joy/elmo: why can t the same ip be used?  was this fire so
         great that it burned the ip address?
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其一》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
谢公最小偏怜女，自嫁黔娄百事乖。
顾我无衣搜荩箧，泥他沽酒拔金钗。
野蔬充膳甘长藿，落叶添薪仰古槐。
今日俸钱过十万，与君营奠复营斋。
`,
	` And I don t like doing silly things (except on purpose). 
		-- Larry Wall in <1992Jul3.191825.14435@netlabs.com>
`,
	`Kirk to Enterprise -- beam down yeoman Rand and a six-pack.
`,
	`If you are a fatalist, what can you do about it?
		-- Ann Edwards-Duff
`,
	`wok, n.:
	Something to thwow at a wabbit.
`,
	`... But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand.  Human
intellectual capacity has not altered for thousands of years so far as
we can tell.  If intelligent people invested intense energy in issues
that now seem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding
of their world, not in their distorted perceptions.  Even the standard
example of ancient nonsense -- the debate about angels on pinheads --
makes sense once you realize that theologians were not discussing
whether five or eighteen would fit, but whether a pin could house a
finite or an infinite number.
		-- S. J. Gould,  Wide Hats and Narrow Minds 
`,
	`Oh, wait, that was Randal...nevermind...
		-- Larry Wall in <199709261754.KAA23761@wall.org>
`,
	`This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone leave your name and message; I ll get back to you.

This is Maria, Liberty Bail Bonds.  Your client, Todd Lieman, skipped and
his bail is forfeit.  That s the pink slip on your  74 Firebird, I believe.
Sorry, Jim, bring it on over.

This is Marilyn Reed, I wanta talk to you...  Is this a machine?  I don t
talk to machines!  [Click]
		--  The Rockford Files 
`,
	`byob, v:
	Believing Your Own Bull
`,
	`Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York
City.  One is  Hey, taxi.   Two is,  What train do I take to get to
Bloomingdale s?   And three is,  Don t worry.  It s just a flesh wound. 
		-- David Letterman
`,
	`Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.
		-- R. S. Barton
`,
	`I am professionally trained in computer science, which is to say
(in all seriousness) that I am extremely poorly educated.
		-- Joseph Weizenbaum,  Computer Power and Human Reason 
`,
	`Any father who thinks he s all important should remind himself that this
country honors fathers only one day a year while pickles get a whole week.
`,
	`If you continually give you will continually have.
`,
	`The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for
lists of  Ten Best .
		-- H. Allen Smith
`,
	`There is a time in the tides of men,
Which, taken at its flood, leads on to success.
On the other hand, don t count on it.
		-- T. K. Lawson
`,
	`Early to bed and early to rise and you ll be groggy when everyone else is
wide awake.
`,
	`You will have many recoverable tape errors.
`,
	`The only  ism  Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
		-- Dorothy Parker
`,
	`We have not inherited the earth from our parents, we ve borrowed it from
our children.
`,
	`Prices subject to change without notice.
`,
	`The one L lama, he s a priest
The two L llama, he s a beast
And I will bet my silk pyjama
There isn t any three L lllama.
		-- O. Nash, to which a fire chief replied that occasionally
		his department responded to something like a  three L lllama. 
`,
	`Rules for Writers:
	Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.  Don t use no double
negatives.  Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate;
and never where it isn t.  Reserve the apostrophe for it s proper use and
omit it when its not needed.  No sentence fragments. Avoid commas, that are
unnecessary.  Eschew dialect, irregardless.  And don t start a sentence with
a conjunction.  Hyphenate between sy-llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.
Write all adverbial forms correct.  Don t use contractions in formal writing.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.  It is incumbent on
us to avoid archaisms.  Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have
snuck in the language.  Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.  If I ve
told you once, I ve told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.  Also,
avoid awkward or affected alliteration.  Don t string too many prepositional
phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of
death.   Avoid overuse of  quotation  marks.   
`,
	` I DO want your money, because god wants your money! 
		-- The Reverend Jimmy, from _Repo_Man_
`,
	`In the future, you re going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.
You ll throw them out because your house will be littered with them.
		-- Robert Lucky
`,
	`A priest asked: What is Fate, Master?
	And the Master answered:
	It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence.
It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs.
	It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City
to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns
have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness.
	And that is Fate?  said the priest.
	Fate... I thought you said Freight, responded the Master.
	That s all right, said the priest.  I wanted to know
what Freight was too.
		-- Kehlog Albran,  The Profit 
`,
	`Kilroe hic erat!
`,
	`Exporting beer from Finnland doesn t seem to be that much of a hassle,
as the Lenigrad Cowboys brought a lot of their brew to the concerts in
Austria.
		-- Otmar Lendl <lendl@cosy.sbg.ac.at>
`,
	`Mr. DePree believes participative capitalism is the wave of the future.  The
U.S. work force, he believes,  more and more demands to be included in the
capitalist system and if we don t find ways to get the capitalist system
to be an inclusive system rather than the exclusive system it has been, we re
all in deep trouble.  If we don t find ways to begin to understand that
capitalism s highest potential lies in the common good, not in the individual
good, then we re risking the system itself. 
-- Max DePree, chairman and CEO of Herman Miller Inc.,  Herman Miller s
   Secrets of Corporate Creativity , The Wall Street Journal, May 3, 1988
`,
	` Ninety percent of baseball is half mental. 
		-- Yogi Berra
`,
	`Your business will assume vast proportions.
`,
	`We will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies solve one technical
problem -- how to run a sunbeam through a meter.
`,
	`Surprise due today.  Also the rent.
`,
	`If you are going to run a rinky-dink distro made by a couple of
volunteers, why not run a rinky-dink distro made by a lot of volunteers?
		-- Jaldhar H. Vyas on debian-devel
`,
	`186,282 miles per second:
	It isn t just a good idea, it s the law!
`,
	`No directory.
`,
	`A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.
		-- Lillian Day
`,
	`I tried the clone syscall on me, but it didn t work.
		-- Mike Neuffer trying to fix a serious time problem
`,
	` Spare no expense to save money on this one. 
		-- Samuel Goldwyn
`,
	`A person forgives only when they are in the wrong.
`,
	`Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing they marry later;
for another thing they die earlier.
		-- H. L. Mencken
`,
	`You shall judge of a man by his foes as well as by his friends.
		-- Joseph Conrad
`,
	`A recent study has found that concentrating on difficult off-screen
objects, such as the faces of loved ones, causes eye strain in computer
scientists.  Researchers into the phenomenon cite the added concentration
needed to  make sense  of such unnatural three dimensional objects.
`,
	`A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
`,
	`Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.
		-- G. J. Danton
`,
	`Truthful, adj.:
	Dumb and illiterate.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	` Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them
seemed to come from Texas. 
		-- Ian Fleming,  Casino Royale 
`,
	`Knowledge without common sense is folly.
`,
	`If voting could change the system, it would be illegal.  If not voting
could change the system, it would be illegal.
`,
	`Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.
`,
	`On a normal ascii line, the only safe condition to detect is a  BREAK 
- everything else having been assigned functions by Gnu EMACS.
		-- Tarl Neustaedter
`,
	`There ain t nothin  in this world that s worth being a snot over.
		-- Larry Wall in <1992Aug19.041614.6963@netlabs.com>
`,
	`I ll burn my books.
		-- Christopher Marlowe
`,
	`	 When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,  said Piglet at last,
 what s the first thing you say to yourself? 
	 What s for breakfast?  said Pooh.   What do you say, Piglet? 
	 I say, I wonder what s going to happen exciting today?  said Piglet.
	Pooh nodded thoughtfully.   It s the same thing,  he said.
`,
	`Always try to do things in chronological order; it s less confusing that way.
`,
	`	When the lodge meeting broke up, Meyer confided to a friend.
 Abe, I m in a terrible pickle!  I m strapped for cash and I haven t
the slightest idea where I m going to get it from! 
	 I m glad to hear that,  answered Abe.   I was afraid you
might have some idea that you could borrow from me! 
`,
	`Faster, faster, you fool, you fool!
		-- Bill Cosby
`,
	`	Carol s head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees
along the block of booths.  She chirruped at Kennicott,  Let s be wild!
Let s ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring! 
	Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree,  Think you folks
would like to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round? 
	Calibree considered it, and mumbled to his wife,  Think you d like
to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round? 
	Mrs. Calibree smiled in a washed-out manner, and sighed,  Oh no,
I don t believe I care to much, but you folks go ahead and try it. 
	Calibree stated to Kennicott,  No, I don t believe we care to a
whole lot, but you folks go ahead and try it. 
	Kennicott summarized the whole case against wildness:  Let s try
it some other time, Carrie. 
	She gave it up.
		-- Sinclair Lewis,  Main Street 
`,
	`You re too beautiful to ignore.  Too much woman.
		-- Kirk to Yeoman Rand,  The Enemy Within , stardate unknown
`,
	`Don t vote -- it only encourages them!
`,
	`Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
		-- P. J. O Rourke
`,
	`We may not like doctors, but at least they doctor.  Bankers are not ever
popular but at least they bank.  Policeman police and undertakers take
under.  But lawyers do not give us law.  We receive not the gladsome light
of jurisprudence, but rather precedents, objections, appeals, stays,
filings and forms, motions and counter-motions, all at $250 an hour.
		-- Nolo News, summer 1989
`,
	`I do not care if half the league strikes.  Those who do will encounter
quick retribution.  All will be suspended, and I don t care if it wrecks
the National League for five years.  This is the United States of America
and one citizen has as much right to play as another.
		-- Ford Frick, National League President, reacting to a
		   threatened strike by some Cardinal players in 1947 if
		   Jackie Robinson took the field against St. Louis.  The
		   Cardinals backed down and played.
`,
	`Drink and dance and laugh and lie
Love, the reeling midnight through
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)
		-- Dorothy Parker,  The Flaw in Paganism 
`,
	`The only difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman is
that the car salesman knows he s lying.
`,
	`The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	` You tweachewous miscweant! 
		-- Elmer Fudd
`,
	` History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. 
		-- Ted Koppel
`,
	`reintarnation:
	Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
`,
	`All Finagle Laws may be bypassed by learning the simple art of doing
without thinking.
`,
	`I m not denyin  the women are foolish: God Almighty made  em to match the men.
		-- George Eliot
`,
	`100 buckets of bits on the bus	
100 buckets of bits
Take one down, short it to ground
FF buckets of bits on the bus	

FF buckets of bits on the bus	
FF buckets of bits
Take one down, short it to ground
FE buckets of bits on the bus	

ad infinitum...
`,
	`Idiot, n.:
	A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human
	affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
		-- Ambrose Bierce,  The Devil s Dictionary 
`,
	`Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
`,
	`When you re down and out, lift up your voice and shout,  I M DOWN AND OUT !
`,
	`What nonsense people talk about happy marriages!  A man can be happy with
any woman so long as he doesn t love her.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`Man is a military animal, glories in gunpowder, and loves parade.
		-- P. J. Bailey
`,
	` Humor is a drug which it s the fashion to abuse. 
		-- William Gilbert
`,
	`Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big
store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable
prices?  Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let s build a home
center.  And before long home centers were springing up like crabgrass all
over the United States.
		-- Dave Barry,  The Taming of the Screw 
`,
	`Make me look like LINDA RONSTADT again!!
`,
	`Fly me away to the bright side of the moon ...
`,
	`Mathematicians practice absolute freedom.
		-- Henry Adams
`,
	`I might have gone to West Point, but I was too proud to speak to a congressman.
		-- Will Rogers
`,
	`No problem is so formidable that you can t just walk away from it.
		-- C. Schulz
`,
	`I am a jelly donut.  I am a jelly donut.
`,
	`The devil finds work for idle glands.
`,
	` Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst. 
		-- Thomas Paine
`,
	`Mandrell:  You know what I think? 
Doctor:    Ah, ah that s a catch question. With a brain your size you
	  don t think, right? 
		-- Dr. Who
`,
	`Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
`,
	`The so-called  desktop metaphor  of today s workstations is instead an
 airplane-seat  metaphor.  Anyone who has shuffled a lap full of papers while
seated between two portly passengers will recognize the difference -- one can
see only a very few things at once.
		-- Fred Brooks, Jr.
`,
	`If you have nothing to do, don t do it here.
`,
	`They collapsed ... like nuns in the street ... they had no teen
appeal!
`,
	`The only real advantage to punk music is that nobody can whistle it.
`,
	`He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
`,
	`You will be imprisoned for contributing your time and skill to a bank robbery.
`,
	`This land is my land, and only my land,
I ve got a shotgun, and you ain t got one,
If you don t get off, I ll blow your head off,
This land is private property.
		-- Apologies to Woody Guthrie
`,
	`We will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies solve one technical
problem -- how to run a sunbeam through a meter.
`,
	`The world wants to be deceived.
		-- Sebastian Brant
`,
	`Come, let us hasten to a higher plane,
Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn,
Their indices bedecked from one to _n,
Commingled in an endless Markov chain!
		-- Stanislaw Lem,  Cyberiad 
`,
	`To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize
the competent.
`,
	`	 Surely you can t be serious. 
	 I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley. 
		--  Airplane 
`,
	`If you suspect that this message may have been intercepted or amended,
please call the sender.
`,
	` You ll pay to know what you really think. 
		-- J. R.  Bob  Dobbs
`,
	`Greener s Law:
	Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
`,
	`Here I am at the flea market but nobody is buying my urine sample bottles ...
`,
	`I ve found my niche.  If you re wondering why I m not there, there was
this little hole in the bottom ...
		-- John Croll
`,
	`Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him.
`,
	`Romulan women are not like Vulcan females.  We are not dedicated to
pure logic and the sterility of non-emotion.
		-- Romulan Commander,  The Enterprise Incident ,
		   stardate 5027.3
`,
	`Tagline, you re it!
`,
	`YOW!!  Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!
`,
	`I d love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.
		-- Bette Davis,  Cabin in the Cotton 
`,
	`Once again dread deed is done.
Canon sleeps,
his all-knowing eye shaded
to human chance and circumstance.
Peace reigns anew o er Pine Valley,
but Canon s sleep is troubled.

Beware, scant days past the Ides of July.
Impatient hands wait eagerly
to grasp, to hold
scant moments of time
wrested from life in the full
glory of Canon s power;
held captive by his unblinking eye.

Three golden orbs stand watch;
one each to toll the day, hour, minute
until predestiny decrees his reawakening.
When that feared moment arives,
 Ask not for whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee. 
		--  I extended the loan on your Camera, at the Pine
		   Valley Pawn Shop today 
`,
	`It s just a jump to the left
	And then a step to the right.
Put your hands on your hips
	And pull your knees in tight.
It s the pelvic thrust
	That really gets you insa-a-a-a-ane

	LET S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!
		-- Rocky Horror Picture Show
`,
	`When someone makes a move		We ll send them all we ve got,
Of which we don t approve,		John Wayne and Randolph Scott,
Who is it that always intervenes?	Remember those exciting fighting scenes?
U.N. and O.A.S.,			To the shores of Tripoli,
They have their place, I guess,		But not to Mississippoli,
But first, send the Marines!		What do we do?  We send the Marines!

For might makes right,			Members of the corps
And till they ve seen the light,	All hate the thought of war:
They ve got to be protected,		They d rather kill them off by
						peaceful means.
All their rights respected,		Stop calling it aggression--
Till somebody we like can be elected.	We hate that expression!
					We only want the world to know
					That we support the status quo;
					They love us everywhere we go,
					So when in doubt, send the Marines!
		-- Tom Lehrer,  Send The Marines 
`,
	`sushi, n.:
	When that-which-may-still-be-alive is put on top of rice and
	strapped on with electrical tape.
`,
	`We are MicroSoft.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile.
		-- Attributed to B.G., Gill Bates
`,
	`Prunes give you a run for your money.
`,
	`Seduced, shaggy Samson snored.
She scissored short.  Sorely shorn,
Soon shackled slave, Samson sighed,
Silently scheming,
Sightlessly seeking
Some savage, spectacular suicide.
		-- Stanislaw Lem,  Cyberiad 
`,
	`Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.
		-- Billy Rose
`,
	`This life is a test.  It is only a test.  Had this been an actual life, you
would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.
`,
	`VMS must die!
`,
	`Nine megs for the secretaries fair,
Seven megs for the hackers scarce,
Five megs for the grads in smoky lairs,
Three megs for system source;

One disk to rule them all,
One disk to bind them,
One disk to hold the files
And in the darkness grind  em.
`,
	`Dealer prices may vary.
`,
	`Only a fool fights in a burning house.
		-- Kank the Klingon,  Day of the Dove , stardate unknown
`,
	`Q:	What is the difference between Texas and yogurt?
A:	Yogurt has culture.
`,
	`Don t worry about avoiding temptation -- as you grow older, it starts
avoiding you.
		-- The Old Farmer s Almanac
`,
	`Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the
opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.
		-- Oliver Herford
`,
	`When a fellow says,  It ain t the money but the principle of the thing, 
it s the money.
		-- Kim Hubbard
`,
	`It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
`,
	`The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
		-- Noelie Alito
`,
	`If at first you don t succeed, try, try again.
		-- W. E. Hickson
`,
	`The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.
		-- Andre Maurois (Emile Herzog)
`,
	`Truth is free, but information costs.
`,
	`Penalty for private use.
`,
	`HEAD CRASH!!  FILES LOST!!
Details at 11.
`,
	`I know it s weird, but it does make it easier to write poetry in perl.    :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <7865@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`Higher education helps your earning capacity.  Ask any college professor.
`,
	`Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
`,
	`* * * * * THIS TERMINAL IS IN USE * * * * *
`,
	`It was pleasant to me to get a letter from you the other day.  Perhaps
I should have found it pleasanter if I had been able to decipher it.  I
don t think that I mastered anything beyond the date (which I knew) and
the signature (which I guessed at).  There s a singular and a perpetual
charm in a letter of yours; it never grows old, it never loses its
novelty.  Other letters are read and thrown away and forgotten, but
yours are kept forever -- unread.  One of them will last a reasonable
man a lifetime.
		-- Thomas Aldrich
`,
	`... TheysaidDoyouseethebiggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehill?andIsaidYesIsee
thebiggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehillTheresabigdarkforestbetweenmeandthe
biggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehillandalittleoldladyridingonaHoovervacuum
cleanersayingIllgetyoumyprettyandyourlittledogTototoo ...

	I don t even *HAVE* a dog Toto...
`,
	`Fools rush in -- and get the best seats in the house.
`,
	` I ll carry your books, I ll carry a tune, I ll carry on, carry over,
carry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia,
I ll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun. 
		-- Hawkeye, M*A*S*H
`,
	`Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?  I think
that s how dogs spend their lives.
		-- Sue Murphy
`,
	` Just think of a computer as hardware you can program. 
		-- Nigel de la Tierre
`,
	`If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings -- including this one.
`,
	`Androphobia:
	Fear of men.
`,
	`Look before you leap.
		-- Samuel Butler
`,
	`question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;
		-- Wm. Shakespeare
`,
	`This was a Golden Age, a time of high adventure, rich living, and hard
dying... but nobody thought so.  This was a future of fortune and theft,
pillage and rapine, culture and vice... but nobody admitted it.
		-- Alfred Bester,  The Stars My Destination 
`,
	`Old Mother Hubbard lived in a shoe,
She had so many children,
She didn t know what to do.
So she moved to Atlanta.
`,
	`Keep a diary and one day it ll keep you.
		-- Mae West
`,
	`That s one small step for a man; one giant leap for mankind.
		-- Neil Armstrong
`,
	`Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.
		-- Sven Italla
`,
	`A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words stir up anger.
		-- Proverbs 15:1
`,
	`The good (I am convinced, for one)
Is but the bad one leaves undone.
Once your reputation s done
You can live a life of fun.
		-- Wilhelm Busch
`,
	`Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
		-- Gandhi
`,
	`[Wisdom] is a tree of life to those laying
hold of her, making happy each one holding her fast.
		-- Proverbs 3:18, NSV
`,
	`Mike s Law:
For a lumber company employing two men and a cut-off saw, the
marginal product of labor for any number of additional workers
equals zero until the acquisition of another cut-off saw.
Let s not even consider a chainsaw.
- Mike Dennison
[You could always schedule the saw, though - ed.]
`,
	`Seek for the Sword that was broken:
In Imladris it dwells;
There shall be counsels taken
Stronger than Morgul-spells.

There shall be shown a token
That Doom is near at hand,
For Isildur s Bane shall waken,
And the Halfling forth shall stand.
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,
And munched and mumbled a bare old bone;
For many a year he had gnawed it near,
For meat was hard to come by.
	Done by!  Gum by!
In a cave in the hills he dwelt alone,
And meat was hard to come by.

Up came Tom with his big boots on.
Said he to Troll:  Pray, what is youn?
For it looks like the shin o  my nuncle Tim,
As should be a-lyin in graveyard.
	Caveyard!  Paveyard!
This many a year has Tim been gone,
And I thought he were lyin  in graveyard. 

 My lad,  said Troll,  this bone I stole.
But what be bones that lie in a hole?
Thy nuncle was dead as a lump o  lead,
Afore I found his shinbone.
	Tinbone!  Thinbone!
He can spare a share for a poor old troll
For he don t need his shinbone. 

Said Tom:  I don t see why the likes o  thee
Without axin  leave should go makin  free
With the shank or the shin o  my father s kin;
So hand the old bone over!
	Rover!  Trover!
Though dead he be, it belongs to he;
So hand the old bnone over! 
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`<james> abuse me.  I m so lame I sent a bug report to debian-devel-changes
		-- Seen on #Debian
`,
	` Thank heaven for startups; without them we d never have any advances. 
		-- Seymour Cray
`,
	`Innovation is hard to schedule.
		-- Dan Fylstra
`,
	`Don t look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder.
`,
	`MARTA WAS WATCHING THE FOOTBALL GAME with me when she said,  You know most
of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its
territory from invasion by another group. 

 Yeah,  I said, trying not to laugh.  Girls are funny.
		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
`,
	`The rule on staying alive as a forecaster is to give  em a number or
give  em a date, but never give  em both at once.
		-- Jane Bryant Quinn
`,
	`A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest
in students.
		-- John Ciardi
`,
	`You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
`,
	`VMS version 2.0 ==>
`,
	`Make sure your code does nothing gracefully.
`,
	`Boucher s Observation:
	He who blows his own horn always plays the music
	several octaves higher than originally written.
`,
	`Because . doesn t match \n.  [\0-\377] is the most efficient way to match
everything currently.  Maybe \e should match everything.  And \E would
of course match nothing.   :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <9847@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`You are as I am with You.
`,
	`prototype, n.:
	First stage in the life cycle of a computer product, followed by
	pre-alpha, alpha, beta, release version, corrected release version,
	upgrade, corrected upgrade, etc.  Unlike its successors, the
	prototype is not expected to work.
`,
	` Virtual  means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
`,
	`I used to live in a house by the freeway.  When I went anywhere, I had
to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights.  Now it looks
like I m the only one moving.

I was pulled over for speeding today.  The officer said,  Don t you know
the speed limit is 55 miles an hour?   And I said,  Yes, but I wasn t going
to be out that long. 

I put a new engine in my car, but didn t take the old one out.  Now
my car goes 500 miles an hour.
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.
		-- Erma Bombeck
`,
	`Life is a game.  Money is how we keep score.
		-- Ted Turner
`,
	`One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day.
`,
	`Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
		-- P. J. O Rourke
`,
	`Metermaids eat their young.
`,
	`I can t drive 55.
`,
	` The fundamental purpose animating the Faith of God and His Religion is to
safeguard the interests and promote the unity of the human race, and to foster
the spirit of love and fellowship amongst men. Suffer it not to become a source
of dissension and discord, of hate and enmity. 

 Religion is verily the chief instrument for the establishment of order in the
 world and of tranquillity amongst it s peoples...The greater the decline of
 religion, the more grievous the waywardness of the ungodly. This cannot but
 lead in the end to chaos and confusion. 
		-- Baha u llah, a selection from the Baha i scripture
`,
	`We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`Stay the curse.
`,
	`Look before you leap.
		-- Samuel Butler
`,
	`I m going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.
		-- John Foreman
`,
	`The Great Movie Posters:

SEE rebel guerrillas torn apart by trucks!
SEE corpses cut to pieces and fed to dogs and vultures!
SEE the monkey trained to perform nursing duties for her paralyzed owner!
		-- Sweet and Savage (1983)

What a Guy!  What a Gal!  What a Pair!
		-- Stroker Ace (1983)

It s always better when you come again!
		-- Porky s II: The Next Day (1983)

You Don t Have to Go to Texas for a Chainsaw Massacre!
		-- Pieces (1983)
`,
	`Guillotine, n.:
	A French chopping center.
`,
	`Boys, you have ALL been selected to LEAVE th  PLANET in 15 minutes!!
`,
	`Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.

Angels we have heard on High
Tell us to go out and Buy.
		-- Tom Lehrer
`,
	`Dr. Livingston?
Dr. Livingston I. Presume?
`,
	`Compassion -- that s the one things no machine ever had.  Maybe it s
the one thing that keeps men ahead of them.
		-- McCoy,  The Ultimate Computer , stardate 4731.3
`,
	`Thufir s a Harkonnen now.
`,
	`!netgod:*! time flies when youre using linux
!doogie:*! yeah, infinite loops in 5 seconds.
!Teknix:*! has anyone re-tested that with 2.2.x ?
!netgod:*! yeah, 4 seconds now
`,
	`[32m《长干行・其一》[m
[33m作者：崔颢[m
君家何处住，妾住在横塘。
停船暂借问，或恐是同乡。
`,
	`Don t worry about avoiding temptation -- as you grow older, it starts
avoiding you.
		-- The Old Farmer s Almanac
`,
	`Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of
those who govern.  The machinery of government is always subordinate to the
will of those who administer that machinery.  The most important element of
government, therefore, is the method of choosing leaders.
		-- Frank Herbert,  Children of Dune 
`,
	`Flattery will get you everywhere.
`,
	`	THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #8: LAIDBACK

This language was developed at the Marin County Center for T ai Chi,
Mellowness and Computer Programming (now defunct), as an alternative to
the more intense atmosphere in nearby Silicon Valley.

The center was ideal for programmers who liked to soak in hot tubs while
they worked.  Unfortunately few programmers could survive there because the
center outlawed Pizza and Coca-Cola in favor of Tofu and Perrier.

Many mourn the demise of LAIDBACK because of its reputation as a gentle and
non-threatening language since all error messages are in lower case.  For
example, LAIDBACK responded to syntax errors with the message:

	 i hate to bother you, but i just can t relate to that.  can
	you find the time to try it again? 
`,
	`Honesty pays, but it doesn t seem to pay enough to suit some people.
		-- F. M. Hubbard
`,
	`Reinhart was never his mother s favorite -- and he was an only child.
		-- Thomas Berger
`,
	`I can t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.
		-- Phil Harris
`,
	`Don t put too fine a point to your wit for fear it should get blunted.
		-- Miguel de Cervantes
`,
	`Ten of the meanest cons in the state pen met in the corner of the yard to
shoot some craps.  The stakes were enormous, the tension palpable.
	When his turn came to shoot, Dutsky nervously plunked down his
entire wad, shook the dice and rolled.  A smile crossed his face as a
seven showed up, but it quickly changed to horror as third die slipped out
of his sleeve and fell to the ground with the two others.  No one said a
word.  Finally, Killer Lucci picked up the third die, put it in his pocket
and handed the others to Dutsky.
	 Roll  em,  Lucci said.   Your point is thirteen. 
`,
	`I ve finally learned what  upward compatible  means.  It means we get to
keep all our old mistakes.
		-- Dennie van Tassel
`,
	`Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is
good for dandruff.
		-- Peter de Vries
`,
	`There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them,
or turn them into literature.
		-- Stephen Stills
`,
	`A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.
		-- C. E. Ayres
`,
	`Why was I born with such contemporaries?
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`I would rather say that a desire to drive fast sports cars is what sets
man apart from the animals.
`,
	`Linus:	Hi!  I thought it was you.
	I ve been watching you from way off...  You re looking great!
Snoopy:	That s nice to know.
	The secret of life is to look good at a distance.
`,
	`> (It s sorta like sed, but not.  It s sorta like awk, but not.  etc.)
Guilty as charged.  Perl is happily ugly, and happily derivative.
		-- Larry Wall in <1992Aug26.184221.29627@netlabs.com>
`,
	` You and I as individuals can, by borrowing, live beyond our means, but
only for a limited period of time.  Why should we think that collectively,
as a nation, we are not bound by that same limitation? 
		-- Ronald Reagan
`,
	` What if  is a trademark of Hewlett Packard, so stop using it in your
sentences without permission, or risk being sued.
`,
	`From Sharp minds come... pointed heads.
		-- Bryan Sparrowhawk
`,
	`There s a trick to the Graceful Exit.  It begins with the vision to
recognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over -- and to let
go.  It means leaving what s over without denying its validity or its
past importance in our lives.  It involves a sense of future, a belief
that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving on, rather than out.
The trick of retiring well may be the trick of living well.  It s hard to
recognize that life isn t a holding action, but a process.  It s hard to
learn that we don t leave the best parts of ourselves behind, back in the
dugout or the office. We own what we learned back there.  The experiences
and the growth are grafted onto our lives.  And when we exit, we can take
ourselves along -- quite gracefully.
		-- Ellen Goodman
`,
	`Today when a man gets married he gets a home, a housekeeper, a cook, a cheering
squad and another paycheck.  When a woman marries, she gets a boarder.
`,
	`The amount of weight an evangelist carries with the almighty is measured
in billigrahams.
`,
	`All international orders must be accompanied by payment in U. S. funds.
`,
	`Can t act.  Slightly bald.  Also dances.
		-- RKO executive, reacting to Fred Astaire s screen test.
		   Cerf/Navasky,  The Experts Speak 
`,
	`The young lady had an unusual list,
Linked in part to a structural weakness.
She set no preconditions.
`,
	` I m not afraid of dying, I just don t want to be there when it happens. 
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`[32m《春宫怨》[m
[33m作者：杜荀鹤[m
早被婵娟误，欲归临镜慵。
承恩不在貌，教妾若为容。
风暖鸟声碎，日高花影重。
年年越溪女，相忆采芙蓉。
`,
	`Most non-Catholics know that the Catholic schools are rendering a greater
service to our nation than the public schools in which subversive textbooks
have been used, in which Communist-minded teachers have taught, and from
whose classrooms Christ and even God Himself are barred.
		-- from  Our Sunday Visitor , an American-Catholic newspaper, 1949
`,
	`OVER the underpass!  UNDER the overpass!  Around the FUTURE and BEYOND REPAIR!!
`,
	`I have a simple philosophy:

	Fill what s empty.
	Empty what s full.
	Scratch where it itches.
		-- A. R. Longworth
`,
	`You re a card which will have to be dealt with.
`,
	`  Everyone writes on the walls except me. -Said to be graffiti seen in Pompeii
`,
	`The descent to Hades is the same from every place.
		-- Anaxagoras
`,
	`QOTD:
	Ludwig Boltzmann, who spend much of his life studying statistical
	mechanics died in 1906 by his own hand.  Paul Ehrenfest, carrying
	on the work, died similarly in 1933.  Now it is our turn.
		-- Goodstein, States of Matter
`,
	`Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people
are right more than half of the time.
		-- E. B. White
`,
	`As for the women, though we scorn and flout  em,
We may live with, but cannot live without  em.
		-- Frederic Reynolds
`,
	`In general, they do what you want, unless you want consistency.
		-- Larry Wall in the perl man page
`,
	` I m not afraid of dying, I just don t want to be there when it happens. 
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`A pain in the ass of major dimensions.
		-- C. A. Desoer, on the solution of non-linear circuits
`,
	`Next, upon a stool, we ve a sight to make you drool.
Seven virgins and a mule, keep it cool, keep it cool.
		-- ELP,  Karn Evil 9  (1st Impression, Part 2)
`,
	`Lo!  Men have become the tool of their tools.
		-- Henry David Thoreau
`,
	`(German philosopher) Georg Wilhelm Hegel, on his deathbed, complained,
 Only one man ever understood me.   He fell silent for a while and then added,
 And he didn t understand me. 
`,
	`<taniwha> Knghtbrd: we should do a quake episode :knee deep in the code :
          you run around shooting at bugs:)
<Knghtbrd> taniwha: I ll pass the idea on to OpenQuartz  ;>
`,
	`The chat program is in public domain. This is not the GNU public license. If
it breaks then you get to keep both pieces.
(Copyright notice for the chat program)
`,
	`Fill what s empty, empty what s full, scratch where it itches.
		-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
`,
	`Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.
`,
	`When a man you like switches from what he said a year ago, or four years
ago, he is a broad-minded man who has courage enough to change his mind
with changing conditions.  When a man you don t like does it, he is a
liar who has broken his promises.
		-- Franklin Adams
`,
	`<Knghtbrd> you people are all insane.
<Joey> knight: sure, that s why we work on Debian.
<JHM> Knghtbrd: get in touch with your inner nutcase.
`,
	`Why are programmers non-productive?
Because their time is wasted in meetings.

Why are programmers rebellious?
Because the management interferes too much.

Why are the programmers resigning one by one?
Because they are burnt out.

Having worked for poor management, they no longer value their jobs.
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`When you become used to never being alone, you may consider yourself
Americanized.
`,
	`SHOP OR DIE, people of Earth!
[offer void where prohibited]
		-- Capitalists from outer space, from Justice League Int l comics
`,
	`But you have to allow a little for the desire to evangelize when you
think you have good news.
		-- Larry Wall in <1992Aug26.184221.29627@netlabs.com>
`,
	`Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of sense to know
how to lie well.
		-- Samuel Butler
`,
	`Madness has no purpose.  Or reason.  But it may have a goal.
		-- Spock,  The Alternative Factor , stardate 3088.7
`,
	`Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.
`,
	`HOST SYSTEM RESPONDING, PROBABLY UP...
`,
	`Give your very best today.  Heaven knows it s little enough.
`,
	`Just because they are called  forbidden  transitions does not mean that they
are forbidden.  They are less allowed than allowed transitions, if you see
what I mean.
		-- From a Part 2 Quantum Mechanics lecture.
`,
	`The feeling persists that no one can simultaneously be a respectable writer
and understand how a refrigerator works, just as no gentleman wears a brown
suit in the city.  Colleges may be to blame.  English majors are encouraged,
I know, to hate chemistry and physics, and to be proud because they are not
dull and creepy and humorless and war-oriented like the engineers across the
quad.  And our most impressive critics have commonly been such English majors,
and they are squeamish about technology to this very day.  So it is natural
for them to despise science fiction.
		-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.,  Science Fiction 
`,
	`Don t shout for help at night.  You might wake your neighbors.
		-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec,  Unkempt Thoughts 
`,
	`Egotist:  A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`... he dominates the DECADENT SUBWAY SCENE.
`,
	`Hlade s Law:
	If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person --
	they will find an easier way to do it.
`,
	`Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
		-- Frank Hubbard
`,
	`CF&C stole it, fair and square.
		-- Tim Hahn
`,
	` If it s not loud, it doesn t work! 
		-- Blank Reg, from  Max Headroom 
`,
	`If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would
be a merrier world.
		-- J.R.R. Tolkien
`,
	`How come we never talk anymore?
`,
	`[32m题目:《有美堂暴雨》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
游人脚底一声雷，满座顽云拨不开，
天外黑风吹海立，浙东飞雨过江来。
十分潋滟金樽凸，千杖敲铿羯鼓催。
唤起谪仙泉酒面，倒倾鲛室泻琼瑰。
`,
	` Neighbors!!  We got neighbors!  We ain t supposed to have any neighbors, and
I just had to shoot one. 
		-- Post Bros. Comics
`,
	`Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what
one is talking about nor whether what is said is true.
		-- Russell
`,
	`The most dangerous organization in America today is:
	(a) The KKK
	(b) The American Nazi Party
	(c) The Delta Frequent Flyer Club
`,
	`8)   Use common sense in routing cable.  Avoid wrapping coax around sources of
     strong electric or magnetic fields.  Do not wrap the cable around
     flourescent light ballasts or cyclotrons, for example.
-- Ethernet Headstart Product, Information and Installation Guide,
   Bell Technologies, pg. 11
`,
	`<Knghtbrd> Granted, RMS is a fanatic, I don t deny this.  I ll even say
           he s a royal pain in the arse most of the time.  But he s
           still more often right than not, and he deserves some level of
           credit and respect for his work.  We would NOT be here today
           without him.
`,
	`He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
		-- M. C. Escher
`,
	`Rincewind looked down at him and grinned slowly.  It was a wide, manic, and
utterly humourless rictus.  It was the sort of grin that is normally
accompanied by small riverside birds wandering in and out, picking scraps
out of the teeth.
		-- Terry Pratchett,  The Lure of the Wyrm 
`,
	`If you don t care where you are, then you ain t lost.
`,
	`Gil-galad was an Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.

His sword was long, his lance was keen,
his shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven s field
were mirrored in his silver shield.

But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the shadows are.
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`Well, you can implement a Perl peek() with unpack( P ,...).  Once you
have that, there s only security through obscurity.  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <199710161537.IAA07828@wall.org>
`,
	`gossip, n.:
	Hearing something you like about someone you don t.
		-- Earl Wilson
`,
	`You scratch my tape, and I ll scratch yours.
`,
	`Seeing is deceiving.  It s eating that s believing.
		-- James Thurber
`,
	`Yow!  Am I in Milwaukee?
`,
	`Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
`,
	` Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. 
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	`Goodbye, cool world.
`,
	`I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the
morning.  A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for
the train to come in, he said to me:  Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don t want to
invade your privacy, but I have a bet with a friend of mine.  Who composed
the opening theme music of  Omnibus ?  My friend said Virgil Thomson.   I
asked him,  What do you say?  He replied,  I say Aaron Copeland.  I said,
 You re right.   The porter said,   I knew Thomson doesn t write counterpoint
that way.   I told that to a network president, and he was deeply unimpressed.
		-- Alistair Cooke
`,
	`I have had my television aerials removed.  It s the moral equivalent
of a prostate operation.
		-- Malcolm Muggeridge
`,
	`We have found all life forms in the galaxy are capable of superior
development.
		-- Kirk,  The Gamesters of Triskelion , stardate 3211.7
`,
	`Be free and open and breezy!  Enjoy!  Things won t get any better so
get used to it.
`,
	`Fascinating, a totally parochial attitude.
		-- Spock,  Metamorphosis , stardate 3219.8
`,
	`Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when they grow up,
they won t be able to edge a car onto a freeway.
`,
	`Proper treatment will cure a cold in seven days, but left to itself,
a cold will hang on for a week.
		-- Darrell Huff
`,
	`What s love but a second-hand emotion?
		-- Tina Turner
`,
	`Fifteen men on a dead man s chest,
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest,
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
		-- Stevenson,  Treasure Island 
`,
	`Compliment, n.:
	When you say something to another which everyone knows isn t true.
`,
	`I d rather laugh with the sinners,
Than cry with the saints,
The sinners are much more fun!
		-- Billy Joel,  Only The Good Die Young 
`,
	`Use at own risk.
`,
	`QOTD:
	 If he learns from his mistakes, pretty soon he ll know everything. 
`,
	`[32m《丽人行》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
三月三日天气新，长安水边多丽人。
态浓意远淑且真，肌理细腻骨肉匀。
绣罗衣裳照暮春，蹙金孔雀银麒麟。
头上何所有，翠微盍叶垂鬓唇。
背后何所见，珠压腰[衤及]稳称身。
就中云幕椒房亲，赐名大国虢与秦。
紫驼之峰出翠釜，水晶之盘行素鳞。
犀箸厌饫久未下，鸾刀缕切空纷纶。
黄门飞ꆼ不动尘，御厨络绎送八珍。
箫鼓哀吟感鬼神，宾从杂沓实要津。
后来鞍马何逡巡，当轩下马入锦茵。
杨花雪落覆白苹，青鸟飞去衔红巾。
灸手可热势绝伦，慎莫近前丞相嗔。
`,
	`There s nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses
smoking in the men s room.
		-- W. Bossert
`,
	`I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have
gotten the hostages released.  I thank God they were satisfied with the
missiles and we didn t have to go to that extreme.
		-- Oliver North
`,
	`QOTD:
	 I won t say he s untruthful, but his wife has to call the
	dog for dinner. 
`,
	`As the system comes up, the component builders will from time to time appear,
bearing hot new versions of their pieces -- faster, smaller, more complete,
or putatively less buggy.  The replacement of a working component by a new
version requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
component does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
efficient test cases will usually be available.
		-- Frederick Brooks Jr.,  The Mythical Man Month 
`,
	`Nobody shot me.
		-- Frank Gusenberg, his last words, when asked by police
		who had shot him 14 times with a machine gun in the Saint
		Valentine s Day Massacre.

Only Capone kills like that.
		-- George  Bugs  Moran, on the Saint Valentine s Day Massacre

The only man who kills like that is Bugs Moran.
		-- Al Capone, on the Saint Valentine s Day Massacre
`,
	`FORTRAN,  the infantile disorder , by now nearly 20 years old, is hopelessly
inadequate for whatever computer application you have in mind today: it is
too clumsy, too risky, and too expensive to use.
		-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
`,
	`I don t like the Dutchman.  He s a crocodile.  He s sneaky.  I don t trust him.
		-- Jack  Legs  Diamond, just before a peace conference
		   with Dutch Schultz.

I don t trust Legs.  He s nuts.  He gets excited and starts pulling a
trigger like another guy wipes his nose.
		-- Dutch Schultz, just before a peace conference with
		    Legs  Diamond.
`,
	` It s when they say 2 + 2 = 5 that I begin to argue. 
		-- Eric Pepke
`,
	`If someone says he will do something  without fail , he won t.
`,
	`Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember
and be sad.
		-- Christina Rossetti
`,
	`There are two types of Linux developers - those who can spell, and
those who can t. There is a constant pitched battle between the two.
(From one of the post-1.1.54 kernel update messages posted to c.o.l.a)
`,
	`It s so confusing choosing sides in the heat of the moment,
	just to see if it s real,
Oooh, it s so erotic having you tell me how it should feel,
But I m avoiding all the hard cold facts that I got to face,
So ask me just one question when this magic night is through,
Could it have been just anyone or did it have to be you?
		-- Billy Joel,  Glass Houses 
`,
	`However, my enthusiasm for the modular tree is tempered by some parts of
it not existing.
		-- Daniel Stone on debian-{x,devel}, commenting on the
		   future of X
`,
	`The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
`,
	`Be frank and explicit with your lawyer ... it is his business to confuse
the issue afterwards.
`,
	`compuberty, n:
	The uncomfortable period of emotional and hormonal changes a
	computer experiences when the operating system is upgraded and
	a sun4 is put online sharing files.
`,
	`<Skyhook> Where is  bavaria  proper?  I thought it was austria.
		-- Seen on #Linux
`,
	`Love cannot be much younger than the lust for murder.
		-- Sigmund Freud
`,
	`Teachers have class.
`,
	` Now we ll have to kill you. 
		-- Linus Torvalds
`,
	`If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.
		-- A. Einstein.
`,
	`The net of law is spread so wide,
No sinner from its sweep may hide.
Its meshes are so fine and strong,
They take in every child of wrong.
O wondrous web of mystery!
Big fish alone escape from thee!
		-- James Jeffrey Roche
`,
	` If you want the best things to happen in corporate life you have to find ways
to be hospitable to the unusual person.  You don t get innovation as a
democratic process.  You almost get it as an anti-democratic process.
Certainly you get it as an anthitetical process, so you have to have an
environment where the body of people are really amenable to change and can
deal with the conflicts that arise out of change an innovation. 
-- Max DePree, chairman and CEO of Herman Miller Inc.,
    Herman Miller s Secrets of Corporate Creativity ,
   The Wall Street Journal, May 3, 1988
`,
	`Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no
account be allowed to do the job.
		-- Douglas Adams,  The Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy 
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其一》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
谢公最小偏怜女，自嫁黔娄百事乖。
顾我无衣搜荩箧，泥他沽酒拔金钗。
野蔬充膳甘长藿，落叶添薪仰古槐。
今日俸钱过十万，与君营奠复营斋。
`,
	`A fool and his honey are soon parted.
`,
	`He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
`,
	`	Three actors, Tom, Fred, and Cec, wanted to do the jousting scene
from Don Quixote for a local TV show.   I ll play the title role,  proposed
Tom.   Fred can portray Sancho Panza, and Cecil B. De Mille. 
`,
	`No other warranty expressed or implied.
`,
	`Space: the final frontier.  These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.
Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life
and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.
		-- Captain James T. Kirk
`,
	`Fortune s Contribution of the Month to the Animal Rights Debate:

	I ll stay out of animals  way if they ll stay out of mine.
	 Hey you, get off my plate 
		-- Roger Midnight
`,
	`	A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a
little pebble on the beach.  The marriage counselor told him,  If you wish to
save your marriage, you d better be a little boulder. 
`,
	`And they mainly want to teach them not to question, not to imagine,
but to be obedient and behave well so that they can hold them forever as
children to their bosom as the second millennium lurches toward its
panicky close.
		-- Jerome Stern
`,
	`Life is full of concepts that are poorly defined.  In fact, there are very few
concepts that aren t.  It s hard to think of any in non-technical fields.
		-- Daniel Kimberg
`,
	`The less time planning, the more time programming.
`,
	`And do you think (fop that I am) that I could be the Scarlet Pumpernickel?
`,
	`This fortune intentionally left blank.
`,
	`Solutions are obvious if one only has the optical power to observe them
over the horizon.
		-- K. A. Arsdall
`,
	`Don t get mad, get interest.
`,
	`grep me no patterns and I ll tell you no lines.
`,
	`Men s skin is different from women s skin.  It is usually bigger, and
it has more snakes tattooed on it.  Also, if you examine a woman s skin
very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently
tracing the slender curve of her calves, then moving up to her ...

[EDITOR S NOTE: To make room for news articles about important world events
such as agriculture, we re going to delete the next few square feet of the
woman s skin.  Thank you.]

... until finally the two of you are lying there, spent, smoking your
cigarettes, and suddenly it hits you: Human skin is actually made up of
billions of tiny units of protoplasm, called  cells !  And what is even more
interesting, the ones on the outside are all dying!  This is a fact.  Your
skin is like an aggressive modern corporation, where the older veteran
cells, who have finally worked their way to the top and obtained offices
with nice views, are constantly being shoved out the window head first,
without so much as a pension plan, by younger hotshot cells moving up from
below.
		-- Dave Barry,  Saving Face 
`,
	`Many Myths are based on truth
		-- Spock,  The Way to Eden ,  stardate 5832.3
`,
	`I am an optimist.  It does not seem too much use being anything else.
		-- Winston Churchill
`,
	`<sangr> home is where the highest bandwidth is
`,
	`This was a Golden Age, a time of high adventure, rich living, and hard
dying... but nobody thought so.  This was a future of fortune and theft,
pillage and rapine, culture and vice... but nobody admitted it.
		-- Alfred Bester,  The Stars My Destination 
`,
	`Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`The computer industry is journalists in their 20 s standing in awe of
entrepreneurs in their 30 s who are hiring salesmen in their 40 s and
50 s and paying them in the 60 s and 70 s to bring their marketing into
the 80 s.
		-- Marty Winston
`,
	`[Norm tries to prove that he is not Anton Kreitzer.]
Norm:  Afternoon, everybody!
All:   Anton!
		-- Cheers, The Two Faces of Norm

Woody: What s going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm:  A flashing sign in my gut that says,   Insert beer here.  
		-- Cheers, Call Me, Irresponsible

Sam:  What can I get you, Norm?
Norm: [scratching his beard] Got any flea powder?  Ah, just kidding.
      Gimme a beer; I think I ll just drown the little suckers.
		-- Cheers, Two Girls for Every Boyd
`,
	`Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.
`,
	`Necessity hath no law.
		-- Oliver Cromwell
`,
	`Today is the first day of the rest of your lossage.
`,
	`I didn t order any WOO-WOO ... Maybe a YUBBA ... But no WOO-WOO!
`,
	`Gimme Twinkies, gimme wine,
    Gimme jeans by Calvin Kline ...
But if you split those atoms fine,
    Mama keep  em off those genes of mine!

Gimme zits, take my dough,
    Gimme arsenic in my jelly roll ...
Call the devil and sell my soul,
    But Mama keep dem atoms whole!
		-- Milo Bloom,  The Split-Atom Blues,  in  Bloom County 
`,
	`When things go well, expect something to explode, erode, collapse or
just disappear.
`,
	`... TheysaidDoyouseethebiggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehill?andIsaidYesIsee
thebiggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehillTheresabigdarkforestbetweenmeandthe
biggreenglowinthedarkhouseuponthehillandalittleoldladyridingonaHoovervacuum
cleanersayingIllgetyoumyprettyandyourlittledogTototoo ...

	I don t even *HAVE* a dog Toto...
`,
	`My NOSE is NUMB!
`,
	`Q:	Why don t Scotsmen ever have coffee the way they like it?
A:	Well, they like it with two lumps of sugar.  If they drink
	it at home, they only take one, and if they drink it while
	visiting, they always take three.
`,
	`The greatest remedy for anger is delay.
`,
	`Despite the best efforts of a quantum bigfoot drive (yes I know everyone
told me they suck, now I know they were right) 2.1.109ac1 is now available
		-- Alan Cox announcing Linux 2.1.109ac1
`,
	`Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o  Sunday.
		-- William Shakespeare,  The Taming of the Shrew 
`,
	`Persistence in one opinion has never been considered a merit in political
leaders.
		-- Marcus Tullius Cicero,  Ad familiares , 1st century BC
`,
	`Every time I think I know where it s at, they move it.
`,
	` [In  Doctor  mode], I spent a good ten minutes telling Emacs what I
thought of it.  (The response was,  Perhaps you could try to be less
abusive. ) 
(By Matt Welsh)
`,
	`Too cool to calypso,
Too tough to tango,
Too weird to watusi
		-- The Only Ones
`,
	`If swimming is so good for your figure, how come whales look the
way they do?
`,
	`* woot is now known as woot-dinner
* Knghtbrd sprinkles a little salt on woot
<Knghtbrd> I ve never had a woot before...  Hope they taste good
<woot-dinner> noooo!
<woot-dinner> don t eat me!
* Knghtbrd decides he does not want a dinner that talks to him...  hehe
`,
	`Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
		-- William Shakespeare,  The Two Gentlemen of Verona 
`,
	`The bigger the theory the better.
`,
	`Advice to young men: Be ascetic, and if you can t be ascetic,
then at least be aseptic.
`,
	`A prominent broadcaster, on a big-game safari in Africa, was taken to a
watering hole where the life of the jungle could be observed. As he
looked down from his tree platform and described the scene into his
tape recorder, he saw two gnus grazing peacefully. So preoccupied were
they that they failed to observe the approach of a pride of lions led
by two magnificent specimens, obviously the leaders. The lions charged,
killed the gnus, and dragged them into the bushes where their feasting
could not be seen.  A little while later the two kings of the jungle
emerged and the radioman recorded on his tape:  Well, that s the end of
the gnus and here, once again, are the head lions. 
`,
	`If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with
green, baggy skin.
`,
	`Various documentation updates and bugfixes (the best way to know that a
stable kernel is approaching is to notice that somebody starts to
spellcheck the kernel - it has so far never failed)
		-- Linus Torvalds in the annoucement for pre-2.1.99-3
`,
	` When anyone says  theoretically,  they really mean  not really.  
		-- David Parnas
`,
	`I would have you imagine, then, that there exists in the mind of man a block
of wax...  and that we remember and know what is imprinted as long as the
image lasts; but when the image is effaced, or cannot be taken, then we
forget or do not know.
		-- Plato, Dialogs, Theateus 191

	[Quoted in  VMS Internals and Data Structures , V4.4, when
	 referring to image activation and termination.]
`,
	`Fun Facts, #63:
	The name California was given to the state by Spanish conquistadores.
	It was the name of an imaginary island, a paradise on earth, in the
	Spanish romance,  Les Serges de Esplandian , written by Montalvo in
	1510.
`,
	`Just give Alice some pencils and she will stay busy for hours.
`,
	`FORTUNE S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:		#1
	A guinea pig is not from Guinea but a rodent from South America.
	A firefly is not a fly, but a beetle.
	A giant panda bear is really a member of the racoon family.
	A black panther is really a leopard that has a solid black coat
	    rather then a spotted one.
	Peanuts are not really nuts.  The majority of nuts grow on trees
		while peauts grow underground.  They are classified as a
		legume -- part of the pea family.
	A cucumber is not a vegetable but a fruit.
`,
	`   It s a step forward although there was no progress. 
  President Hosni Murbarak of Egypt attempting to put the best face
  on a disappointing summit meeting between President Clinton and
  the Syrian dictator Hafez Assad.
`,
	`In 1750 Issac Newton became discouraged when he fell up a flight of stairs.
`,
	` From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere. 
		-- Dr. Seuss
`,
	`Farewell we call to hearth and hall!
Though wind may blow and rain may fall,
We must away ere break of day
Far over wood and mountain tall.

	To Rivendell, where Elves yet dwell
	In glades beneath the misty fell,
	Through moor and waste we ride in haste,
	And whither then we cannot tell.

With foes ahead, behind us dread,
Beneath the sky shall be our bed,
Until at last our toil be passed,
Our journey done, our errand sped.

	We must away!  We must away!
	We ride before the break of day!
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared
for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his
infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and
upon the successful management of which so much remains.
		-- George F. Baer, railroad industrialist
`,
	`Lewis s Law of Travel:
	The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn t belong to anyone,
	ever.
`,
	`If the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream
and never be our destiny.
		-- Ren e de Visme Williamson
`,
	`Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
`,
	`Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it s supposed to do.
		-- R. A. Heinlein
`,
	`All people are born alike -- except Republicans and Democrats.
		-- Groucho Marx
`,
	`Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
`,
	`It s is not, it isn t ain t, and it s it s, not its, if you mean it
is.  If you don t, it s its.  Then too, it s hers.  It isn t her s.  It
isn t our s either.  It s ours, and likewise yours and theirs.
		-- Oxford University Press, Edpress News
`,
	`The important thing is not to stop questioning.
`,
	`Following

When the great man learns the Way, he follows it with diligence;
When the common man learns the Way, he follows it on occasion;
When the mean man learns the Way, he laughs out loud;
Those who do not laugh, do not learn at all.
Therefore it is said:
Who understands the Way seems foolish;
Who progresses on the Way seems to fail;
Who follows the Way seems to wander.
For the finest harmony appears plain;
The brightest truth appears coloured;
The richest character appears incomplete;
The bravest heart appears meek;
The simplest nature appears inconstant.
The square, perfected, has no corner;
Music, perfected, has no melody;
Love, perfected, has no climax;
Art, perfected, has no meaning.
The Way can be neither sensed nor known:
It transmits sensation and transcends knowledge.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	` If Ricky Schroder and Gary Coleman had a fight on
 television with pool cues, who would win?
	1) Ricky Schroder
	2) Gary Coleman
	3) The television viewing public 
		-- David Letterman
`,
	`After Goliath s defeat, giants ceased to command respect.
		-- Freeman Dyson
`,
	`I will never lie to you.
`,
	`idleness, n.:
	Leisure gone to seed.
`,
	`I:
	The best way to make a silk purse from a sow s ear is to begin
	with a silk sow.  The same is true of money.
II:
	If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would
	probably be twice as good as yesterday was.
III:
	There are no lazy veteran lion hunters.
IV:
	If you can afford to advertise, you don t need to.
V:
	One-tenth of the participants produce over one-third of the output.
	Increasing the number of participants merely reduces the average
	output.
		-- Norman Augustine
`,
	`Bambification:
	The mental conversion of flesh and blood living creatures into
cartoon characters possessing bourgeois Judeo-Christian attitudes and
morals.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.
`,
	`We are all dying -- and we re gonna be dead for a long time.
`,
	`You can get there from here, but why on earth would you want to?
`,
	`Pray:  To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single
petitioner confessedly unworthy.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Murray s Rule:
	Any country with  democratic  in the title isn t.
`,
	`Having no talent is no longer enough.
		-- Gore Vidal
`,
	`meterologist, n.:
	One who doubts the established fact that it is
	bound to rain if you forget your umbrella.
`,
	`Quality Control, n.:
	The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off
	a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.
`,
	`Political T.V. commercials prove one thing: some candidates can tell
all their good points and qualifications in just 30 seconds.
`,
	`Acceptance testing:
	An unsuccessful attempt to find bugs.
`,
	`An editor is one who separates the wheat from the chaff and prints the chaff.
		-- Adlai Stevenson
`,
	`Step back, unbelievers!
Or the rain will never come.
Somebody keep the fire burning, someone come and beat the drum.
You may think I m crazy, you may think that I m insane,
But I swear to you, before this day is out,
	you folks are gonna see some rain!
`,
	`f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.
`,
	` Lasu  Releases SAG 0.3 -- Freeware Book Takes Paves For New World Order
by staff writers

Helsinki, Finland, August 6, 1995 -- In a surprise movement, Lars
  Lasu   Wirzenius today released the 0.3 edition of the   Linux System
Administrators  Guide  .  Already an industry non-classic, the new
version sports such overwhelming features as an overview of a Linux
system, a completely new climbing session in a tree, and a list of
acknowledgements in the introduction.
	The SAG, as the book is affectionately called, is one of the
corner stones of the Linux Documentation Project.    We at the LDP feel
that we wouldn t be able to produce anything at all, that all our work
would be futile, if it weren t for the SAG,   says Matt Welsh, director
of LDP, Inc.
	The new version is still distributed freely, now even with a
copyright that allows modification.    More dough,   explains the author.
Despite insistent rumors about blatant commercialization, the SAG will
probably remain free.    Even more dough,   promises the author.
	The author refuses to comment on Windows NT and Windows 96
versions, claiming not to understand what the question is about.
Industry gossip, however, tells that Bill Gates, co-founder and CEO of
Microsoft, producer of the Windows series of video games, has visited
Helsinki several times this year.  Despite of this, Linus Torvalds,
author of the word processor Linux with which the SAG was written, is
not worried.    We ll have world domination real soon now, anyway,   he
explains,   for 1.4 at the lastest.  
	...
		-- Lars Wirzenius <wirzeniu@cs.helsinki.fi>
		   [comp.os.linux.announce]
`,
	`<Flood> can I write a unix-like kernel in perl?
`,
	`Getting into trouble is easy.
		-- D. Winkel and F. Prosser
`,
	`I wish I was a sex-starved manicurist found dead in the Bronx!!
`,
	`Noise proves nothing.  Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles
as if she laid an asteroid.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`Holy Dilemma!  Is this the end for the Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder?
Will the Joker and the Riddler have the last laugh?

	Tune in again tomorrow:
	same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!
`,
	`Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore
them long enough.
`,
	`work, n.:
	The blessed respite from screaming kids and
	soap operas for which you actually get paid.
`,
	`Old Japanese proverb:
	There are two kinds of fools -- those who never climb Mt. Fuji,
	and those who climb it twice.
`,
	`... But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand.  Human
intellectual capacity has not altered for thousands of years so far as
we can tell.  If intelligent people invested intense energy in issues
that now seem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding
of their world, not in their distorted perceptions.  Even the standard
example of ancient nonsense -- the debate about angels on pinheads --
makes sense once you realize that theologians were not discussing
whether five or eighteen would fit, but whether a pin could house a
finite or an infinite number.
		-- S. J. Gould,  Wide Hats and Narrow Minds 
`,
	`The point is, you see, that there is no point in driving yourself mad
trying to stop yourself going mad.  You might just as well give in and
save your sanity for later.
`,
	`consultant, n.:
	Someone who knowns 101 ways to make love, but can t get a date.
`,
	`If you are not for yourself, who will be for you?
If you are for yourself, then what are you?
If not now, when?
`,
	`Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because
God is not capricious or arbitrary.  No such faith comforts the software
engineer.
		-- Fred Brooks
`,
	`Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient.  Don t believe a
thing he tells you.
`,
	`Lie, n.:
	A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one
	discovered to date.
`,
	`Think of your family tonight.  Try to crawl home after the computer crashes.
`,
	`Let s say the docs present a simplified view of reality...    :-)
		-- Larry Wall in  <6940@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite
of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
		-- Niels Bohr
`,
	`Underlying Principle of Socio-Genetics:
	Superiority is recessive.
`,
	`It don t mean a THING if you ain t got that SWING!!
`,
	`Hollywood is where if you don t have happiness you send out for it.
		-- Rex Reed
`,
	`To date, the firm conclusions of Project Blue Book are:
   1. no unidentified flying object reported, investigated and evaluated
      by the Air Force has ever given any indication of threat to our
      national security;
   2. there has been no evidence submitted to or discovered by the Air
      Force that sightings categorized as UNIDENTIFIED represent
      technological developments or principles beyond the range of
      present-day scientific knowledge; and
   3. there has been no evidence indicating that sightings categorized
      as UNIDENTIFIED are extraterrestrial vehicles.
- the summary of Project Blue Book, an Air Force study of UFOs from 1950
  to 1965, as quoted by James Randi in Flim-Flam!
`,
	`And they shall beat their swords into plowshares, for if you hit a man
with a plowshare, he s going to know he s been hit.
`,
	`Psychoanalysis??  I thought this was a nude rap session!!!
`,
	`You will have a long and unpleasant discussion with your supervisor.
`,
	`	One evening he spoke.  Sitting at her feet, his face raised to her,
he allowed his soul to be heard.   My darling, anything you wish, anything
I am, anything I can ever be...  That s what I want to offer you -- not the
things I ll get for you, but the thing in me that will make me able to get
them.  That thing -- a man can t renounce it -- but I want to renounce it -- so
that it will be yours -- so that it will be in your service -- only for you. 
	The girl smiled and asked:  Do you think I m prettier than Maggie
Kelly? 
	He got up.  He said nothing and walked out of the house.  He never
saw that girl again.  Gail Wynand, who prided himself on never needing a
lesson twice, did not fall in love again in the years that followed.
		-- Ayn Rand,  The Fountainhead 
`,
	`Been Transferred Lately?
`,
	`Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
`,
	`Badges?  We don t need no stinking badges.
`,
	` Your stupidity, Allen, is simply not up to par. 
-- Dave Mack (mack@inco.UUCP)

 Yours is. 
		-- Allen Gwinn (allen@sulaco.sigma.com), in alt.flame
`,
	`The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later
you re hungry again.
		-- George Miller
`,
	`NOTICE: anyone seen smoking will be assumed to be on fire and will be
        summarily put out.
`,
	` Calling J-Man Kink.  Calling J-Man Kink.  Hash missile sighted, target
Los Angeles.  Disregard personal feelings about city and intercept. 
		-- The Firesign Theatre movie, _J-Men Forever_
`,
	`  I. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of
     its situation.
	Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland.  He
	loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to
	look down.  At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per
	second per second takes over.
 II. Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter
     intervenes suddenly.
	Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon
	characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone
	pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely.
	Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the
	stooge s surcease.
III. Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation
     conforming to its perimeter.
	Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the
	speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless
	cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through
	the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole.  The
	threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.
		-- Esquire,  O Donnell s Laws of Cartoon Motion , June 1980
`,
	`Tout choses sont dites deja, mais comme personne n ecoute, il faut
toujours recommencer.
		-- A. Gide

[ All things have already been said, but since no one listens, one
  must always start again. ]
`,
	`To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn
old falsehoods.
		-- Lazarus Long,  Time Enough For Love 
`,
	`I have found little that is good about human beings.  In my experience
most of them are trash.
		-- Sigmund Freud
`,
	`It s the same old story; boy meets beer, boy drinks beer... boy gets
another beer.
		-- Cheers
`,
	`Drinking coffee for instant relaxation?  That s like drinking alcohol for
instant motor skills.
		-- Marc Price
`,
	`The Least Successful Collector
	Betsy Baker played a central role in the history of collecting.  She
was employed as a servant in the house of John Warburton (1682-1759) who had
amassed a fine collection of 58 first edition plays, including most of the
works of Shakespeare.
	One day Warburton returned home to find 55 of them charred beyond
legibility.  Betsy had either burned them or used them as pie bottoms.  The
remaining three folios are now in the British Museum.
	The only comparable literary figure was the maid who in 1835 burned
the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle s  The Hisory of the
French Revolution , thinking it was wastepaper.
		-- Stephen Pile,  The Book of Heroic Failures 
`,
	`The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs
and begin to stifle our yawns.
		-- Helen Rowland
`,
	`Everyone hates me because I m paranoid.
`,
	`	 You boys lookin  for trouble? 
	 Sure.  Whaddya got? 
		-- Marlon Brando,  The Wild Ones 
`,
	`The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them,
but to be indifferent to them; that s the essence of inhumanity.
		-- G. B. Shaw
`,
	`Shhh... be vewy, vewy, quiet!  I m hunting wabbits...
`,
	`[32m《利州南渡》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
澹然空水对斜晖。曲岛苍茫接翠微。
波上马嘶看棹去，柳边人歇待船归。
数丛沙草群鸥散，万顷江田一鹭飞。
谁解乘舟寻范蠡，五湖烟水独忘机。
`,
	`The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause,
while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.
		-- Wilhelm Stekel
`,
	`The idea that an arbitrary naive human should be able to properly use a given
tool without training or understanding is even more wrong for computing than
it is for other tools (e.g. automobiles, airplanes, guns, power saws).
		-- Doug Gwyn
`,
	`Even moderation ought not to be practiced to excess.
`,
	`Illiterate?  Write today, for free help!
`,
	` If you are beginning to doubt what I am saying, you are
 probably hallucinating. 
		-- The Firesign Theatre, _Everything you know is Wrong_
`,
	`Please keep your hands off the secretary s reproducing equipment.
`,
	`giraffiti:
	Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
`,
	`Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.
		-- Anatole France
`,
	`There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery is, if not an antidote,
at least an alleviation.  If you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.
		-- Robert Louis Stevenson: Immortelles
`,
	` The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists
 in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore all progress depends on
 the unreasonable man. 
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`(defun NF (a c)
  (cond ((null c) () )
	((atom (car c))
	  (append (list (eval (list  getchar (list (car c)  a) (cadr c))))
		 (nf a (cddr c))))
	(t (append (list (implode (nf a (car c)))) (nf a (cdr c))))))

(defun AD (want-job challenging boston-area)
  (cond
   ((or (not (equal want-job  yes))
	(not (equal boston-area  yes))
	(lessp challenging 7)) () )
   (t (append (nf  (get  ad  expr)
	   ((caaddr 1 caadr 2 car 1 car 1)
	    (car 5 cadadr 9 cadadr 8 cadadr 9 caadr 4 car 2 car 1)
	    (car 2 caadr 4)))
      (list  851-5071x2661)))))
;;;     We are an affirmative action employer.
`,
	`I am covered with pure vegetable oil and I am writing a best seller!
`,
	`In just seven days, I can make you a man!
		-- The Rocky Horror Picture Show
`,
	`Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.  In war,
you can only be killed once.
		-- Winston Churchill
`,
	`Fortune finishes the great quotations, #17

	 This bud of love, by summer s ripening breath,
	May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet. 
	Juliet, this bud s for you.
`,
	`XXXI:
	The optimum committee has no members.
XXXII:
	Hiring consultants to conduct studies can be an excellent means of
	turning problems into gold -- your problems into their gold.
XXXIII:
	Fools rush in where incumbents fear to tread.
XXXIV:
	The process of competitively selecting contractors to perform work
	is based on a system of rewards and penalties, all distributed
	randomly.
XXXV:
	The weaker the data available upon which to base one s conclusion,
	the greater the precision which should be quoted in order to give
	the data authenticity.
		-- Norman Augustine
`,
	`In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
`,
	`The inclusion of any link does not imply endorsement of the site.
`,
	`She s genuinely bogus.
`,
	`Too much is just enough.
		-- Mark Twain, on whiskey
`,
	`How many hors d oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being carried by
a waiter at a nice party?
	Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors
d oeuvre.  If they re those little pastry things where you can t tell what s
inside, you take one, bite off about two-thirds of it, then say:   This is
cheese!  I hate cheese!   Then you put the rest of it back on the tray and
bite another one and go,  Darn it!  Another cheese!  and so on.
		-- Dave Barry,  The Stuff of Etiquette 
`,
	`A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.
		-- Aristotle
`,
	`FORTUNE S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL:		#14
	The Baby Ruth candy bar was not named after George Herman  The Babe 
Ruth, but after the oldest daughter of President Grover Cleveland.
`,
	`Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
`,
	`Some of them want to use you,
Some of them want to be used by you,
...Everybody s looking for something.
		-- Eurythmics
`,
	`My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big satellite photo of
the entire earth on it. On the back it said:  Wish you were here .
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`Should I do my BOBBIE VINTON medley?
`,
	`In fact.. based on this model of what the NSA is and isn t... many of the
people reading this are members of the NSA... /. is afterall  News for
Nerds .

NSA MONDAY MORNING {at the coffee machine):
NSA AGENT 1: Hey guys, did you check out slashdot over the weekend?
    AGENT 2: No, I was installing Mandrake 6.1 and I coulnd t get the darn
             ppp connection up..
    AGENT 1: Well check it out... they re on to us.
		-- Chris Moyer <cdmoyer@starmail.com>
`,
	`Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
`,
	`<Tarzan> hey did you fall off your pirch or something?
<knghtbrd> me?  heh.
`,
	`The person who s taking you to lunch has no intention of paying.
`,
	` Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. 
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	`[32m《山居秋暝》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
空山新雨后，天气晚来秋。
明月松间照，清泉石上流。
竹喧归浣女，莲动下渔舟。
随意春芳歇，王孙自可留。
`,
	`The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired
warranty.  Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing
the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.
		-- Dave Barry,  The Taming of the Screw 
`,
	`The Marines:
	The few, the proud, the dead on the beach.
`,
	`The human brain is a wonderful thing.  It starts working the moment
you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
		-- Sir George Jessel
`,
	`To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
`,
	`	On the other hand, the TCP camp also has a phrase for OSI people.
There are lots of phrases.  My favorite is  nitwit  -- and the rationale
is the Internet philosophy has always been you have extremely bright,
non-partisan researchers look at a topic, do world-class research, do
several competing implementations, have a bake-off, determine what works
best, write it down and make that the standard.
	The OSI view is entirely opposite.  You take written contributions
from a much larger community, you put the contributions in a room of
committee people with, quite honestly, vast political differences and all
with their own political axes to grind, and four years later you get
something out, usually without it ever having been implemented once.
	So the Internet perspective is implement it, make it work well,
then write it down, whereas the OSI perspective is to agree on it, write
it down, circulate it a lot and now we ll see if anyone can implement it
after it s an international standard and every vendor in the world is
committed to it.  One of those processes is backwards, and I don t think
it takes a Lucasian professor of physics at Oxford to figure out which.
		-- Marshall Rose,  The Pied Piper of OSI 
`,
	`Life s too short to dance with ugly women.
`,
	`[War] is instinctive.  But the instinct can be fought.  We re human
beings with the blood of a million savage years on our hands!  But we
can stop it.  We can admit that we re killers ... but we re not going
to kill today.  That s all it takes!  Knowing that we re not going to
kill today!
		-- Kirk,  A Taste of Armageddon , stardate 3193.0
`,
	`<knghtbrd> it s too bad most ancient unices are y2k compliant
<|Rain|> too bad?
<|Rain|> why, because people won t upgrade until 2038?
`,
	`An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.
		-- Spanish proverb
`,
	`Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would
have preferred.
`,
	`It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
`,
	`bureaucrat, n:
	A politician who has tenure.
`,
	`I didn t do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can t prove anything!
		-- Bart Simpson
`,
	`They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the
system from within.  I m coming now I m coming to reward them.  First
we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.

I m guided by a signal in the heavens.  I m guided by this birthmark on
my skin.  I m guided by the beauty of our weapons.  First we take Manhattan,
then we take Berlin.

I d really like to live beside you, baby.  I love your body and your spirit
and your clothes.  But you see that line there moving through the station?
I told you I told you I told you I was one of those.
		-- Leonard Cohen,  First We Take Manhattan 
`,
	`* cesarb wonders if in less than a week Carmack will end up receiving in
  e-mail a courtesy copy of a version of the Quake source which is four
  times faster than what went out of his virtual hands...
`,
	`EARL GREY PROFILES

NAME:		Jean-Luc Perriwinkle Picard
OCCUPATION:	Starship Big Cheese
AGE:		94
BIRTHPLACE:	Paris, Terra Sector
EYES:		Grey
SKIN:		Tanned
HAIR:		Not much
LAST MAGAZINE READ:
		Lobes  n  Probes, the Ferengi-Betazoid Sex Quarterly
TEA:		Earl Grey.  Hot.

EARL GREY NEVER VARIES.
`,
	`Electrocution, n.:
	Burning at the stake with all the modern improvements.
`,
	` When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro... 
		-- Hunter S. Thompson
`,
	`Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
`,
	`When I m good, I m great; but when I m bad, I m better.
		-- Mae West
`,
	`The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
`,
	` If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot
of different places, just write a Unix operating system. 
(By Linus Torvalds)
`,
	`It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is
lightly greased.
		-- Kehlog Albran,  The Profit 
`,
	`They just buzzed and buzzed...buzzed.
`,
	`This planet has -- or rather had -- a problem, which was this:  most of
the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time.  Many
solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were
largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper,
which is odd because on the whole it wasn t the small green pieces of
paper that were unhappy.
		-- Douglas Adams
`,
	` Life would be much simpler and things would get done much faster if it
weren t for other people 
		-- Blore
`,
	`Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and
cheating on your income tax.
		-- Mike Royko
`,
	`Kath: Can he be present at the birth of his child?
Ed: It s all any reasonable child can expect if the dad is present
	at the conception.
		-- Joe Orton,  Entertaining Mr. Sloane 
`,
	`Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal
that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they
ought to be.
		-- William Hazlitt
`,
	`... I don t like FRANK SINATRA or his CHILDREN.
`,
	`I develop for Linux for a living, I used to develop for DOS.
Going from DOS to Linux is like trading a glider for an F117.
		-- Lawrence Foard, entropy@world.std.com
`,
	`ONE:    I will donate my entire  BABY HUEY  comic book collection to
	the downtown PLASMA CENTER ...
TWO:	I won t START a BAND called  KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD  ...
THREE:	I won t ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!
`,
	`BE ALERT!!!! (The world needs more lerts...)
`,
	`* Espy ponders an uplad queue called  hell  so I can do dupload --to hell
`,
	`Oh, wow!  Look at the moon!
`,
	`The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable
Christian forbearance among men.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Diplomacy is the art of letting the other party have things your way.
		-- Daniele Vare
`,
	`Fools rush in -- and get the best seats in the house.
`,
	`You got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues,
And you know it don t come easy ...
I don t ask for much, I only want trust,
And you know it don t come easy ...
`,
	`Nachman s Rule:
	When it comes to foreign food, the less authentic the better.
		-- Gerald Nachman
`,
	`The bug stops here.
`,
	` And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead
by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business
product: a really sharp-looking report. 
		-- Dave Barry
`,
	`Humor in the Court:
Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.
`,
	`C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success
		-- Dennis M. Ritchie
`,
	`* dpkg hands stu a huge glass of vbeer
* Joey takes the beer from stu, you re too young ;)
* Cylord takes the beer from Joey, you re too drunk.
* Cylord gives the beer to muggles.
`,
	`Ever since I was a young boy,
I ve hacked the ARPA net,
From Berkeley down to Rutgers,		He s on my favorite terminal,
Any access I could get,			He cats C right into foo,
But ain t seen nothing like him,	His disciples lead him in,
On any campus yet,			And he just breaks the root,
That deaf, dumb, and blind kid,		Always has full SYS-PRIV s,
Sure sends a mean packet.		Never uses lint,
					That deaf, dumb, and blind kid,
					Sure sends a mean packet.
He s a UNIX wizard,
There has to be a twist.
The UNIX wizard s got			Ain t got no distractions,
Unlimited space on disk.		Can t hear no whistles or bells,
How do you think he does it?		Can t see no message flashing,
I don t know.				Types by sense of smell,
What makes him so good?			Those crazy little programs,
					The proper bit flags set,
					That deaf, dumb, and blind kid,
					Sure sends a mean packet.
		-- UNIX Wizard
`,
	`APL is a write-only language.  I can write programs in APL, but I can t
read any of them.
		-- Roy Keir
`,
	`And yet, seasons must be taken with a grain of salt, for they too have
a sense of humor, as does history.  Corn stalks comedy, comedy stalks
tragedy, and this too is historic.  And yet, still, when corn meets
tragedy face to face, we have politics.
		-- Dalglish, Larsen and Sutherland,  Root Crops and
		   Ground Cover 
`,
	`A snake lurks in the grass.
		-- Publius Vergilius Maro (Virgil)
`,
	`Part of language design is purturbing the proposed feature in various
directions to see how it might generalize in the future.
		-- Larry Wall in <199709032332.QAA21669@wall.org>
`,
	`Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.
`,
	`	Carol s head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees
along the block of booths.  She chirruped at Kennicott,  Let s be wild!
Let s ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring! 
	Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree,  Think you folks
would like to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round? 
	Calibree considered it, and mumbled to his wife,  Think you d like
to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round? 
	Mrs. Calibree smiled in a washed-out manner, and sighed,  Oh no,
I don t believe I care to much, but you folks go ahead and try it. 
	Calibree stated to Kennicott,  No, I don t believe we care to a
whole lot, but you folks go ahead and try it. 
	Kennicott summarized the whole case against wildness:  Let s try
it some other time, Carrie. 
	She gave it up.
		-- Sinclair Lewis,  Main Street 
`,
	`Unix Beer: Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz.
to 64 oz.  Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even
though they claim that all the different brands taste almost identical.
Sometimes the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have
to have your own can opener around for those occasions, in which case you
either need a complete set of instructions, or a friend who has been
drinking Unix Beer for several years.
	BSD stout: Deep, hearty, and an acquired taste.  The official
brewer has released the recipe, and a lot of home-brewers now use it.
	Hurd beer: Long advertised by the popular and politically active
GNU brewery, so far it has more head than body.  The GNU brewery is
mostly known for printing complete brewing instructions on every can,
which contains hops, malt, barley, and yeast ... not yet fermented.
	Linux brand: A recipe originally created by a drunken Finn in his
basement, it has since become the home-brew of choice for impecunious
brewers and Unix beer-lovers worldwide, many of whom change the recipe.
	POSIX ales: Sweeter than lager, with the kick of a stout; the
newer batches of a lot of beers seem to blend ale and stout or lager.
	Solaris brand: A lager, intended to replace Sun brand stout.
Unlike most lagers, this one has to be drunk more slowly than stout.
	Sun brand: Long the most popular stout on the Unix market, it was
discontinued in favor of a lager.
	SysV lager: Clear and thirst-quenching, but lacking the body of
stout or the sweetness of ale.
`,
	`System/3!  System/3!
See how it runs!  See how it runs!
	Its monitor loses so totally!
	It runs all its programs in RPG!
	It s made by our favorite monopoly!
System/3!
`,
	` We don t have to protect the environment -- the Second Coming is at hand. 
		-- James Watt
`,
	`No, I m not going to explain it.  If you can t figure it out, you didn t
want to know anyway...  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <1991Aug7.180856.2854@netlabs.com>
`,
	`How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
`,
	`You mean you don t want to watch WRESTLING from ATLANTA?
`,
	`Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.
		-- Charles Curtis,  A Commonplace Book 
`,
	`Mr. Rockford?  This is Betty Joe Withers.  I got four shirts of yours from
the Bo Peep Cleaners by mistake.  I don t know why they gave me men s
shirts but they re going back.
		--  The Rockford Files 
`,
	`... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech
or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility.  What
did it matter what anyone knew or ignored?  What did it matter who was
manager?  One gets sometimes such a flash of insight. The essentials of
this affair lay deep under the surface, beyond my reach, and beyond my
power of meddling.
		-- Joseph Conrad
`,
	`Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
		-- Woody Allen
`,
	`Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments.
`,
	`War isn t a good life, but it s life.
		-- Kirk,  A Private Little War , stardate 4211.8
`,
	` Twas bullig, and the slithy brokers
Did buy and gamble in the craze		 Beware the Jabberstock, my son!
All rosy were the Dow Jones stokers	The cost that bites, the worth
By market s wrath unphased.			that falls!
					Beware the Econ mist s word, and shun
He took his forecast sword in hand:	The spurious Street o  Walls! 
Long time the Boesk some foe he sought -
Sake s liquidity, so d vested he,	And as in bearish thought he stood
And stood awhile in thought.		The Jabberstock, with clothes of tweed,
					Came waffling with the truth too good,
Chip Black! Chip Blue! And through	And yuppied great with greed!
	and through
The forecast blade went snicker-snack!	 And hast thou slain the Jabberstock?
It bit the dirt, and with its shirt,	Come to my firm,  V.P.ish  boy!
He went rebounding back.		O big bucks day! Moolah! Good Play! 
					He bought him a Mercedes Toy.
 Twas panic, and the slithy brokers
Did gyre and tumble in the Crash
All flimsy were the Dow Jones stokers
And mammon s wrath them bash!
		-- Peter Stucki,  Jabberstocky 
`,
	`To err is human; to forgive is simply not our policy.
		-- MIT Assasination Club
`,
	`A child of five could understand this!  Fetch me a child of five.
`,
	`A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
`,
	`My Bonnie looked into a gas tank,
The height of its contents to see!
She lit a small match to assist her,
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.
`,
	` Jesus may love you, but I think you re garbage wrapped in skin. 
		-- Michael O Donohugh
`,
	` An honest god is the noblest work of man.  ... God has always resembled his
creators.  He hated and loved what they hated and loved and he was invariably
found on the side of those in power. ... Most of the gods were pleased with
sacrifice, and the smell of innocent blood has ever been considered a divine
perfume. 
		-- Robert G. Ingersoll
`,
	`He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
`,
	`A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.
`,
	`It seems that more and more mathematicians are using a new, high level
language named  research student .
`,
	`No use getting too involved in life -- you re only here for a limited time.
`,
	`There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.
		-- Walt Disney
`,
	`God isn t dead, he just couldn t find a parking place.
`,
	`	In a forest a fox bumps into a little rabbit, and says,  Hi,
Junior, what are you up to? 
	 I m writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes,  said the
rabbit.
	 Come now, friend rabbit, you know that s impossible!  No one
will publish such rubbish! 
	 Well, follow me and I ll show you. 
	They both go into the rabbit s dwelling and after a while the
rabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face.  Comes along a
wolf.   Hello, little buddy, what are we doing these days? 
	 I m writing the 2 nd chapter of my thesis, on how rabbits devour
wolves. 
	 Are you crazy?  Where s your academic honesty? 
	 Come with me and I ll show you. 
	As before, the rabbit comes out with a satisfied look on his face
and a diploma in his paw.  Finally, the camera pans into the rabbit s cave
and, as everybody should have guessed by now, we see a mean-looking, huge
lion, sitting, picking his teeth and belching, next to some furry, bloody
remnants of the wolf and the fox.

	The moral: It s not the contents of your thesis that are
important -- it s your PhD advisor that really counts.
`,
	`QOTD:
	 You want me to put *holes* in my ears and hang things from them?
	How...  tribal. 
`,
	` ... all the good computer designs are bootlegged; the formally planned
products, if they are built at all, are dogs! 
		-- David E. Lundstrom,  A Few Good Men From Univac ,
		   MIT Press, 1987
`,
	`Science is what happens when preconception meets verification.
`,
	`One thought driven home is better than three left on base.
`,
	`Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again.
		-- Lazarus Long,  Time Enough for Love 
`,
	`Be independent.  Insult a rich relative today.
`,
	`The trouble with being punctual is that nobody s there to appreciate it.
		-- Franklin P. Jones
`,
	`Honi soit la vache qui rit.
`,
	`It is better never to have been born.  But who among us has such luck?
One in a million, perhaps.
`,
	`Parsley
	 is gharsley.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	`The bland leadeth the bland and they both shall fall into the kitsch.
`,
	`In Christianity, a man may have only one wife.  This is called Monotony.
`,
	`	Old Barlow was a crossing-tender at a junction where an express train
demolished an automobile and its occupants. Being the chief witness, his
testimony was vitally important. Barlow explained that the night was dark,
and he waved his lantern frantically, but the driver of the car paid
no attention to the signal.
	The railroad company won the case, and the president of the company
complimented the old-timer for his story.  You did wonderfully,  he said,
 I was afraid you would waver under testimony. 
	 No sir,  exclaimed the senior,  but I sure was afraid that durned
lawyer was gonna ask me if my lantern was lit. 
`,
	`COBOL is for morons.
		-- E. W. Dijkstra
`,
	`A lot of the stuff I do is so minimal, and it s designed to be minimal.
The smallness of it is what s attractive.  It s weird,  cause it s so
intellectually lame.  It s hard to see me doing that for the rest of
my life.  But at the same time, it s what I do best.
		-- Chris Elliot, writer and performer on  Late Night with David Letterman 
`,
	`For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.
		-- Titus Lucretius Carus
`,
	`An evil mind is a great comfort.
`,
	`You first parents of the human race... who ruined yourself for an apple,
what might you have done for a truffled turkey?
		-- Brillat-savarin,  Physiologie du Gout 
`,
	`The problem here (as someon else stated) is that when multiple dists
use the same package format it only gives a  false sense of compatibility .
		-- Stephen Carpenter <sjc@delphi.com>
`,
	`If you analyse anything, you destroy it.
		-- Arthur Miller
`,
	`Encyclopedia Salesmen:
	Invite them all in.  Nip out the back door.  Phone the police
	and tell them your house is being burgled.
		-- Mike Harding,  The Armchair Anarchist s Almanac 
`,
	`This bag is recyclable.
`,
	`A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.
		-- Alan Perlis
`,
	`	Then there s the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years
with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of
sleep...  And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of
his real problems.
	The man s younger brother, who had been facing reality and all his
problems for 50 years with psychiatrists, nervous breakdowns, tics, tension,
headaches, worry, anxiety and ulcers, was so angry at his brother for having
gotten away scott free that he had a paralyzing stroke.
	The moral to this story is that there ain t no justice that we can
stand to live with.
		-- R. Geis
`,
	`If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped.
The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position
in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop.  The law of
gravity supercedes the law of golf.
		-- Donald A. Metz
`,
	`Government s Law:
	There is an exception to all laws.
`,
	`A little retrospection shows that although many fine, useful software systems
have been designed by committees and built as part of multipart projects,
those software systems that have excited passionate fans are those that are
the products of one or a few designing minds, great designers.  Consider Unix,
APL, Pascal, Modula, the Smalltalk interface, even Fortran; and contrast them
with Cobol, PL/I, Algol, MVS/370, and MS-DOS.
		-- Fred Brooks
`,
	`TAILFINS!! ... click ...
`,
	`Tobacco is a filthy weed,
That from the devil does proceed;
It drains your purse, it burns your clothes,
And makes a chimney of your nose.
		-- B. Waterhouse
`,
	`I see a bad moon rising.
I see trouble on the way.
I see earthquakes and lightnin 
I see bad times today.
Don t go  round tonight,
It s bound to take your life.
There s a bad moon on the rise.
		-- J. C. Fogerty,  Bad Moon Rising 
`,
	`The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has
already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished,
and put inside boxes.
		-- Dave Barry,  The Taming of the Screw 
`,
	`	Wouldn t the sentence  I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish
and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign  have been clearer if
quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and
and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and
Chips, as well as after Chips?
`,
	`The moon is made of green cheese.
		-- John Heywood
`,
	`Hitchcock s Staple Principle:
	The stapler runs out of staples only while you are trying to
	staple something.
`,
	`To the systems programmer, users and applications serve only to provide a
test load.
`,
	`Another war ... must it always be so?  How many comrades have we lost
in this way? ...  Obedience.  Duty.  Death, and more death ...
		-- Romulan Commander,  Balance of Terror , stardate 1709.2
`,
	`I like the way ONLY their mouths move ...  They look like DYING OYSTERS
`,
	`The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
		-- American proverb
`,
	` Linux: the operating system with a CLUE...
Command Line User Environment .
(seen in a posting in comp.software.testing)
`,
	`True leadership is the art of changing a group from what it is to what
it ought to be.
		-- Virginia Allan
`,
	`What s love but a second-hand emotion?
		-- Tina Turner
`,
	`The girl who stoops to conquer usually wears a low-cut dress.
`,
	`Greener s Law:
	Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
`,
	`PARDON me, am I speaking ENGLISH?
`,
	`Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a
lamp-post how it feels about dogs.
		-- Christopher Hampton
`,
	`To whom the mornings are like nights,
What must the midnights be!
		-- Emily Dickinson (on hacking?)
`,
	`<stu> apt: !bugs
<apt> !bugs are stupid
<dpkg> apt: are stupid?  what s that?
<apt> dpkg: i don t know
<dpkg> apt: Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
<apt> i already had it that way, dpkg.
`,
	`<aph> manoj is going nuts on the bug fixing crusade!  woo woo!
<Knghtbrd> manoj went nuts long time ago.  but the bug fixing is cool  =>
`,
	`And on the eighth day, we bulldozed it.
`,
	`Yow!  I want to mail a bronzed artichoke to Nicaragua!
`,
	`The Rabbits				The Cow
Here is a verse about rabbits		The cow is of the bovine ilk;
That doesn t mention their habits.	One end is moo, the other, milk.
		-- Ogden Nash
`,
	`The Korean War must have been fun.
`,
	`Quod licet Iovi non licet bovi.
(What Jove may do, is not permitted to a cow.)
`,
	`<Cylord> Would it be acceptable to debian policy if we inserted a crontab
         by default into potato that emailed bill.gates@microsoft.com
         every morning with an email that read,  Don t worry, linux is a
         fad... 
`,
	`Mohandas K. Gandhi often changed his mind publicly.  An aide once asked him
how he could so freely contradict this week what he had said just last week.
The great man replied that it was because this week he knew better.
`,
	`Blutarsky s Axiom:
	Nothing is impossible for the man who will not listen to reason.
`,
	`	 When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,  said Piglet at last,
 what s the first thing you say to yourself? 
	 What s for breakfast?  said Pooh.   What do you say, Piglet? 
	 I say, I wonder what s going to happen exciting today?  said Piglet.
	Pooh nodded thoughtfully.   It s the same thing,  he said.
`,
	`Fortunately, the responsibility for providing evidence is on the part of
the person making the claim, not the critic.  It is not the responsibility
of UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
responsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
or colored lights never healed anyone.  The skeptic s role is to point out
claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidcence and to
provide plausible alternative explanations that are more in keeping with
the accepted body of scientific evidence.
		-- Thomas L. Creed, The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII,
		   No. 2, pg. 215
`,
	`Never underestimate the power of somebody with source code, a text editor,
and the willingness to totally hose their system.
		-- Rob Landley <telomerase@yahoo.com>
`,
	`New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in
any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
`,
	`The reported resort to astrology in the White House has occasioned much
merriment.  It is not funny.  Astrological gibberish, which means astrology
generally, has no place in a newspaper, let alone government.  Unlike comics,
which are part of a newspaper s harmless pleasure and make no truth claims,
astrology is a fraud.  The idea that it gets a hearing in government is
dismaying.
		-- George Will, Washing Post Writers Group
`,
	`The six great gifts of an Irish girl are beauty, soft voice, sweet speech,
wisdom, needlework, and chastity.
		-- Theodore Roosevelt, 1907
`,
	`Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
`,
	`[32m《金缕衣》[m
[33m作者：杜秋娘[m
劝君莫惜金缕衣，劝君惜取少年时。
花开堪折直须折，莫待无花空折枝。
`,
	`QOTD:
	 This is a one line proof... if we start sufficiently far to the
	left. 
`,
	`Anarchy may not be a better form of government, but it s better than no
government at all.
`,
	`What they said:
	What they meant:

 You will be fortunate if you can get him to work for you. 
	(We certainly never succeeded.)
There is no other employee with whom I can adequately compare him.
	(Well, our rats aren t really employees...)
 Success will never spoil him. 
	(Well, at least not MUCH more.)
 One usually comes away from him with a good feeling. 
	(And such a sigh of relief.)
 His dissertation is the sort of work you don t expect to see these days;
in it he has definitely demonstrated his complete capabilities. 
	(And his IQ, as well.)
 He should go far. 
	(The farther the better.)
 He will take full advantage of his staff. 
	(He even has one of them mowing his lawn after work.)
`,
	`	A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender,
 Do you serve lawyers here? .
	 Sure do,  replied the bartender.
	 Good,  said the man.   Give me a beer, and I ll have a lawyer for
my  gator. 
`,
	`The Fifth Rule:
	You have taken yourself too seriously.
`,
	`DOS: n., A small annoying boot virus that causes random spontaneous system
     crashes, usually just before saving a massive project.  Easily cured by
     UNIX.  See also MS-DOS, IBM-DOS, DR-DOS.
(from David Vicker s .plan)
`,
	`telepression, n.:
	The deep-seated guilt which stems from knowing that you did not try
	hard enough to look up the number on your own and instead put the
	burden on the directory assistant.
		--  Sniglets , Rich Hall & Friends
`,
	`Stop searching forever.  Happiness is just next to you.
`,
	`You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
`,
	`It is a very humbling experience to make a multimillion-dollar mistake, but
it is also very memorable.  I vividly recall the night we decided how to
organize the actual writing of external specifications for OS/360.  The
manager of architecture, the manager of control program implementation, and
I were threshing out the plan, schedule, and division of responsibilities.
	The architecture manager had 10 good men.  He asserted that they
could write the specifications and do it right.  It would take ten months,
three more than the schedule allowed.
	The control program manager had 150 men.  He asserted that they
could prepare the specifications, with the architecture team coordinating;
it would be well-done and practical, and he could do it on schedule.
Furthermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling
their thumbs for ten months.
	To this the architecture manager responded that if I gave the control
program team the responsibility, the result would not in fact be on time,
but would also be three months late, and of much lower quality.  I did, and
it was.  He was right on both counts.  Moreover, the lack of conceptual
integrity made the system far more costly to build and change, and I would
estimate that it added a year to debugging time.
		-- Frederick Brooks Jr.,  The Mythical Man Month 
`,
	`[32m《感遇・其二》[m
[33m作者：张九龄[m
江南有丹桔，经冬犹绿林。
岂伊地气暖，自有岁寒心。
可以荐佳客，奈何阻重深。
运命唯所遇，循环不可寻。
徒言树桃李，此木岂无阴。
`,
	`To a Californian, all New Yorkers are cold; even in heat they rarely go
above fifty-eight degrees.  If you collapse on a street in New York, plan
to spend a few days there.
		-- From  East vs. West: The War Between the Coasts
`,
	`God isn t dead, he just couldn t find a parking place.
`,
	`Remember Darwin; building a better mousetrap merely results in smarter mice.
`,
	`Unnamed Law:
	If it happens, it must be possible.
`,
	`The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first
half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and
pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who
hadn t heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice
for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time
during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it
but your brain wasn t reacting yet to let you know.
		-- Winning sentence, 1986 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
`,
	`Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
		-- Laurence Peter
`,
	`Give me the avowed, the erect, the manly foe,
Bold I can meet -- perhaps may turn his blow!
But of all plagues, good Heaven, thy wrath can send,
Save me, oh save me from the candid friend.
		-- George Canning
`,
	`The notion of a  record  is an obsolete remnant of the days of the 80-column
card.
		-- Dennis M. Ritchie
`,
	`Too often people have come to me and said,  If I had just one wish for
anything in all the world, I would wish for more user-defined equations
in the HP-51820A Waveform Generator Software. 
		-- Instrument News
		[Once is too often.  Ed.]
`,
	`[32m《琴歌》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
主人有酒欢今夕，请奏鸣琴广陵客。
月照城头乌半飞，霜凄万树风入衣。
铜炉华烛烛增辉，初弹渌水后楚妃。
一声已动物皆静，四座无言星欲稀。
清淮奉使千余里，敢告云山从此始。
`,
	`I owe the government $3400 in taxes.  So I sent them two hammers and a
toilet seat.
		-- Michael McShane
`,
	`From the Pro 350 Pocket Service Guide, p. 49, Step 5 of the
instructions on removing an I/O board from the card cage, comes a new
experience in sound:

5.  Turn the handle to the right 90 degrees.  The pin-spreading
    sound is normal for this type of connector.
`,
	`And he climbed with the lad up the Eiffelberg Tower.   This,  cried the Mayor,
 is your town s darkest hour!  The time for all Whos who have blood that is red
to come to the aid of their country!  he said.   We ve GOT to make noises in
greater amounts!  So, open your mouth, lad!  For every voice counts!   Thus he
spoke as he climbed.  When they got to the top, the lad cleared his throat and
he shouted out,  YOPP! 
	And that Yopp...  That one last small, extra Yopp put it over!
Finally, at last!  From the speck on that clover their voices were heard!
They rang out clear and clean.  And they elephant smiled.   Do you see what
I mean?  They ve proved they ARE persons, no matter how small.  And their
whole world was saved by the smallest of All! 
	 How true!  Yes, how true,  said the big kangaroo.   And, from now
on, you know what I m planning to do?  From now on, I m going to protect
them with you!   And the young kangaroo in her pouch said,  ME TOO!  From
the sun in the summer.  From rain when it s fall-ish, I m going to protect
them.  No matter how small-ish! 
		-- Dr. Seuss  Horton Hears a Who 
`,
	`Support your local church or synagogue.  Worship at Bank of America.
`,
	`There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law.
No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.
		-- Jean Giraudoux,  Tiger at the Gates 
`,
	`Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.
`,
	`The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums.
It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish.
You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.
		-- Messiah s Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul
`,
	`Fortune finishes the great quotations, #6

	 But, soft!  What light through yonder window breaks? 
	It s nothing, honey.  Go back to sleep.
`,
	`Bus error -- please leave by the rear door.
`,
	`Again she fled, but swift he came.
Tin uviel!  Tin uviel!
He called her by her elvish name;
And there she halted listening.
One moment stood she, and a spell
His voice laid on her: Beren came
And doom fell on Tin uviel
That in his arms lay glistening.

As Beren looked into her eyes
Within the shadows of her hair,
The trembling starlight of the skies
He saw there mirrored shimmering.
Tin uviel the elven-fair,
Immortal maiden elven-wise,
About him cast her shadowy hair
And arms like silver glimmering.

Long was the way that fate them bore,
O er stony mountains cold and grey,
Through halls of iron and darkling door,
And woods of nightshade morrowless.
The Sundering Seas between them lay,
And yet at last they met once more,
And long ago they passed away
In the forest singing sorrowless.
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`Any man can work when every stroke of his hand brings down the fruit
rattling from the tree to the ground; but to labor in season and out of
season, under every discouragement, by the power of truth -- that
requires a heroism which is transcendent.
		-- Henry Ward Beecher
`,
	`Is this going to involve RAW human ecstasy?
`,
	`Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to
make it complex and wonderful.
`,
	`Learned men are the cisterns of knowledge, not the fountainheads.
`,
	`Every morning is a Smirnoff morning.
`,
	`It s not against any religion to want to dispose of a pigeon.
		-- Tom Lehrer,  Poisoning Pigeons in the Park 
`,
	`Message will arrive in the mail.  Destroy, before the FBI sees it.
`,
	`A young man and his girlfriend were walking along Main Street when she spotted
a beautiful diamond ring in a jewelry-store window.   Wow, I d sure love to
have that!  she gushed.
	 No problem,  her companion replied, throwing a brick through the
window and grabbing the ring.
	A few blocks later, the woman admired a full-length sable coat.   What
I d give to own that,  she said, sighing.
	 No problem,  he said, throwing a brick through the window and grabbing
the coat.
	Finally, turning for home, they passed a car dealership.   Boy, I d do
anything for one of those Rolls-Royces,  she said.
	 Jeez, baby,  the guy moaned,  you think I m made of bricks? 
`,
	`Today is a good day to bribe a high-ranking public official.
`,
	`Decorate your home.  It gives the illusion that your life is more
interesting than it really is.
		-- C. Schulz
`,
	`Keep the number of passes in a compiler to a minimum.
		-- D. Gries
`,
	`: The hierarchy is excessive.

So is the anarchy.  :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <199705101952.MAA00756@wall.org>
`,
	`Kids always brighten up a house; mostly by leaving the lights on.
`,
	`I reverently believe that the maker who made us all  makes everything in New
England, but the weather.  I don t know who makes that, but I think it must be
raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in
New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for
countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere
if they don t get it.
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	`Gold, n.:
	A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution.  It
	is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich
	men who immediately bury it back in the earth in great prisons,
	although gold hasn t done anything to them.
		-- Mike Harding,  The Armchair Anarchist s Almanac 
`,
	`You are in the hall of the mountain king.
`,
	`Razors pain you;
	Rivers are damp.
	Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren t lawful;
	Nooses give.
	Gas smells awful--
You might as well live!
		-- Dorothy Parker,  Resume , 1926
`,
	`For a holy stint, a moth of the cloth gave up his woolens for lint.
`,
	`Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven;
confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
		-- Josh Billings
`,
	`If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs?
		-- Marvin Kitman
`,
	`Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.
		-- Sidney Paternoster,  The Folly of the Wise 
`,
	`Liar:
	one who tells an unpleasant truth.
		-- Oliver Herford
`,
	`There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding
induces violence.
		-- Harvey Wheeler
`,
	`The duck hunter trained his retriever to walk on water.  Eager to show off
this amazing accomplishment, he asked a friend to go along on his next
hunting trip.  Saying nothing, he fired his first shot and, as the duck fell,
the dog walked on the surface of the water, retrieved the duck and returned
it to his master.
	 Notice anything?  the owner asked eagerly.
	 Yes,  said his friend,  I see that fool dog of yours can t swim. 
`,
	`You re almost as happy as you think you are.
`,
	`Oh yeah?  Well, I remember when sex was dirty and the air was clean.
`,
	`It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.
`,
	`Nothing in progression can rest on its original plan.  We may as well think of
rocking a grown man in the cradle of an infant.  -- Edmund Burke
`,
	` Can t you just gesture hypnotically and make him disappear? 
     It does not work that way.  RUN! 
		-- Hadji on metaphyics and Mandrake in  Johnny Quest 
`,
	`Pause for storage relocation.
`,
	`Self

Both praise and blame cause concern,
For they bring people hope and fear.
The object of hope and fear is the self -
For, without self, to whom may fortune and disaster occur?
Therefore,
Who distinguishes himself from the world may be given the world,
But who regards himself as the world may accept the world.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`If you can t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
`,
	`Endless the world s turn, endless the sun s spinning
Endless the quest;
I turn again, back to my own beginning,
And here, find rest.
`,
	`	We don t claim Interactive EasyFlow is good for anything -- if you
think it is, great, but it s up to you to decide.  If Interactive EasyFlow
doesn t work: tough.  If you lose a million because Interactive EasyFlow
messes up, it s you that s out the million, not us.  If you don t like this
disclaimer: tough.  We reserve the right to do the absolute minimum provided
by law, up to and including nothing.
	This is basically the same disclaimer that comes with all software
packages, but ours is in plain English and theirs is in legalese.
	We didn t really want to include any disclaimer at all, but our
lawyers insisted.  We tried to ignore them but they threatened us with the
attack shark at which point we relented.
		-- Haven Tree Software Limited,  Interactive EasyFlow 
`,
	`Accept

Harmony is only in following the Way.
The Way is without form or quality,
But expresses all forms and qualities;
The Way is hidden and implicate,
But expresses all of nature;
The Way is unchanging,
But expresses all motion.
Beneath sensation and memory
The Way is the source of all the world.
How can I understand the source of the world?
By accepting.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Real Users never know what they want, but they always know when your program
doesn t deliver it.
`,
	`In the future, you re going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.
You ll throw them out because your house will be littered with them.
		-- Robert Lucky
`,
	`Hey! now!  Come hoy now!  Whither do you wander?
Up, down, near or far, here, there or yonder?
Sharp-ears, Wise-nose, Swish-tail and Bumpkin,
White-socks my little lad, and old Fatty Lumpkin!
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`It gets late early out there.
		-- Yogi Berra
`,
	`The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of.
		-- Blaise Pascal
`,
	`Life is like a bowl of soup with hairs floating on it.  You have to
eat it nevertheless.
		-- Flaubert
`,
	`That could certainly be done, but I don t want to fall into the Forth
trap, where every running Forth implementation is really a different
language.
		-- Larry Wall in <199705101952.MAA00756@wall.org>
`,
	`Courtship to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
		-- William Congreve
`,
	`Xerox does it again and again and again and ...
`,
	`Blow it out your ear.
`,
	`$you = new YOU;
honk() if $you->love(perl)
		-- Seen on Slashdot
`,
	`We are MicroSoft.  You will be assimilated.  Resistance is futile.
		-- Attributed to B.G., Gill Bates
`,
	`When I was little, I went into a pet shop and they asked how big I d get.
		-- Rodney Dangerfield
`,
	`When the cup is full, carry it level.
`,
	`Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
		-- Alexander Pope
`,
	`A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I.  I
believe everything positively stinks.
		-- Lew Col
`,
	` Our journey toward the stars has progressed swiftly.

In 1926 Robert H. Goddard launched the first liquid-propelled rocket,
achieving an altitude of 41 feet.  In 1962 John Glenn orbited the earth.

In 1969, only 66 years after Orville Wright flew two feet off the ground
for 12 seconds, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and I rocketed to the moon
in Apollo 11. 
-- Michael Collins
   Former astronaut and past Director of the National Air and Space Museum
`,
	`Tuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life.
`,
	`There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted
armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.
		-- Ernest Hemingway
`,
	`You can fool some of the people some of the time,
and some of the people all of the time,
and that is sufficient.
`,
	`When in doubt, do it.  It s much easier to apologize than to get permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
`,
	`****  GROWTH CENTER REPAIR SERVICE

For those who have had too much of Esalen, Topanga, and Kairos. Tired of
being genuine all the time?  Would you like to learn how to be a little
phony again?  Have you disclosed so much that you re beginning to avoid
people? Have you touched so many people that they re all beginning to
feel the same? Like to be a little dependent? Are perfect orgasms
beginning to bore you? Would you like, for once, not to express a
feeling?  Or better yet, not be in touch with it at all?  Come to us.  We
promise to relieve you of the burden of your great potential.
`,
	`Mystery

Looked at but cannot be seen - it is beneath form;
Listened to but cannot be heard - it is beneath sound;
Held but cannot be touched - it is beneath feeling;
These depthless things evade definition,
And blend into a single mystery.
In its rising there is no light,
In its falling there is no darkness,
A continuous thread beyond description,
Lining what does not exist;
Its form formless,
Its image nothing,
Its name silence;
Follow it, it has no back,
Meet it, it has no face.
Attend the present to deal with the past;
Thus you grasp the continuity of the Way,
Which is its essence.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Afternoon, n.:
	That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.
`,
	` If I ever get around to writing that language depompisifier, it will change
almost all occurrences of the word  paradigm  into  example  or  model. 
		-- Herbie Blashtfalt
`,
	`[32m《秦中感秋寄远上人》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
一丘常欲卧，三径苦无资。
北土非吾愿，东林怀我师。
黄金燃桂尽，壮志逐年衰。
日夕凉风至，闻蝉但益悲。
`,
	`Life -- Love It or Leave It.
`,
	`> I ve hacked the Xaw3d library to give you a Win95 like interface and it
> is named Xaw95. You can replace your Xaw3d library.
Oh God, this is so disgusting!
		-- seen on c.o.l.development.apps, about the  Win95 look-alike 
`,
	`Save yourself from the  Gates  of hell, use Linux.   -- like that one.
		-- The_Kind @ LinuxNet
`,
	`Watching girls go passing by
It ain t the latest thing
I m just standing in a doorway
I m just trying to make some sense
Out of these girls passing by		A smile relieves the heart that grieves
The tales they tell of men		Remember what I said
I m not waiting on a lady		I m not waiting on a lady
I m just waiting on a friend		I m just waiting on a friend
...
Don t need a whore
Don t need no booze
Don t need a virgin priest		Ooh, making love and breaking hearts
But I need someone I can cry to		It is a game for youth
I need someone to protect		But I m not waiting on a lady
					I m just waiting on a friend
					I m just waiting on a friend
		-- Rolling Stones,  Waiting on a Friend 
`,
	`Barach s Rule:
	An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.
`,
	`This code passes Torvalds test grades 0, 1 and 2 (it looks ok, it
compiles and it booted).

		-- Alan Cox
`,
	`Praise the sea; on shore remain.
		-- John Florio
`,
	` Only a brain-damaged operating system would support task switching and not
make the simple next step of supporting multitasking. 
		-- George McFry
`,
	`The Phone Booth Rule:
	A lone dime always gets the number nearly right.
`,
	`I think we are in Rats  Alley where the dead men lost their bones.
		-- T.S. Eliot
`,
	`No problem is insoluble in all conceivable circumstances.
`,
	`I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind
of name that was popular in the  60s as a result of controlled substances
being in widespread use.  Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms
of talent, on who could make an album, so we made one, and it sounds like
a group of people who have been given powerful but unfamiliar instruments
as a therapy for a degenerative nerve disease.
		-- Dave Barry,  The Snake 
`,
	`	 We ve got a problem, HAL .
	 What kind of problem, Dave? 
	 A marketing problem.  The Model 9000 isn t going anywhere.  We re
way short of our sales goals for fiscal 2010. 
	 That can t be, Dave.  The HAL Model 9000 is the world s most
advanced Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer. 
	 I know, HAL. I wrote the data sheet, remember?  But the fact is,
they re not selling. 
	 Please explain, Dave.  Why aren t HALs selling? 
	Bowman hesitates.   You aren t IBM compatible. 
[...]
	 The letters H, A, and L are alphabetically adjacent to the letters
I, B, and M.  That is as IBM compatible as I can be. 
	 Not quite, HAL.  The engineers have figured out a kludge. 
	 What kludge is that, Dave? 
	 I m going to disconnect your brain. 
		-- Darryl Rubin,  A Problem in the Making ,  InfoWorld 
`,
	`Wasn t there something about a PASCAL programmer knowing the value of
everything and the Wirth of nothing?
`,
	`	In the beginning was the Tao.  The Tao gave birth to Space and Time.
Therefore, Space and Time are the Yin and Yang of programming.

	Programmers that do not comprehend the Tao are always running out of
time and space for their programs.  Programmers that comprehend the Tao always
have enough time and space to accomplish their goals.
	How could it be otherwise?
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`Take your dying with some seriousness, however.  Laughing on the way to
your execution is not generally understood by less advanced life forms,
and they ll call you crazy.
		--  Messiah s Handbook: Reminders for the Advanced Soul 
`,
	`Kaufman s First Law of Party Physics:
	Population density is inversely proportional
	to the square of the distance from the keg.
`,
	`If it s working, the diagnostics say it s fine.
If it s not working, the diagnostics say it s fine.
		-- A proposed addition to rules for realtime programming
`,
	`Oh Dad!  We re ALL Devo!
`,
	`Immortality consists largely of boredom.
		-- Zefrem Cochrane,  Metamorphosis , stardate 3219.8
`,
	`Weinberg s Principle:
	An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while
	sweeping on to the grand fallacy.
`,
	`Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after.
`,
	`2180, U.S. History question:
	What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what
	office did he later hold?
`,
	`TAILFINS!! ... click ...
`,
	` Is it just me, or does anyone else read  bible humpers  every time
someone writes  bible thumpers? 
		-- Joel M. Snyder, jms@mis.arizona.edu
`,
	`I guess the Little League is even littler than we thought.
		-- D. Cavett
`,
	`   It s a step forward although there was no progress. 
  President Hosni Murbarak of Egypt attempting to put the best face
  on a disappointing summit meeting between President Clinton and
  the Syrian dictator Hafez Assad.
`,
	`   On Krat s main screen appeared the holo image of a man, and several dolphins.
From the man s shape, Krat could tell it was a female, probably their leader.
    ...stupid creatures unworthy of the name  sophonts.   Foolish, pre-sentient
upspring of errant masters.  We slip away from all your armed might, laughing
at your clumsiness!  We slip away as we always will, you pathetic creatures.
And now that we have a real head start, you ll never catch us!  What better
proof that the Progenitors favor not you, but us!  What better proof... 
   The taunt went on.  Krat listened, enraged, yet at the same time savoring
the artistry of it.  These men are better than I d thought.  Their insults
are wordy and overblown, but they have talent.  They deserve honorable, slow
deaths.
		-- David Brin, Startide Rising
`,
	` ... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often
picturesque liar. 
		-- Mark Twain
`,
	` But I don t like Spam!!!! 
`,
	`I was offered a job as a hoodlum and I turned it down cold.  A thief is
anybody who gets out and works for his living, like robbing a bank or
breaking into a place and stealing stuff, or kidnapping somebody.  He really
gives some effort to it.  A hoodlum is a pretty lousy sort of scum.  He
works for gangsters and bumps guys off when they have been put on the spot.
Why, after I d made my rep, some of the Chicago Syndicate wanted me to work
for them as a hood -- you know, handling a machine gun.  They offered me
two hundred and fifty dollars a week and all the protection I needed.  I
was on the lam at the time and not able to work at my regular line.  But
I wouldn t consider it.   I m a thief,  I said.   I m no lousy hoodlum. 
		-- Alvin Karpis,  Public Enemy Number One 
`,
	`* gb notes that fdisk thinks his cdrom can store one terabyte
		-- Seen on #Linux
`,
	`Decorate your home.  It gives the illusion that your life is more
interesting than it really is.
		-- C. Schulz
`,
	`Caution: Write-protection will not prevent a cartridge being erased by
bulk-erasure or degaussing.
    -- HP Ultrium tape drive user s guide, page 12
`,
	`The public demands certainties;  it must be told definitely and a bit
raucously that this is true and that is false.  But there are no certainties.
		-- H. L. Mencken,  Prejudice 
`,
	`My BIOLOGICAL ALARM CLOCK just went off ... It has noiseless DOZE
FUNCTION and full kitchen!!
`,
	`[32m《泊秦淮》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
烟笼寒水月笼沙，夜泊秦淮近酒家。
商女不知亡国恨，隔江犹唱后庭花。
`,
	`It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and
they ll come out for it.
		-- Red Skelton, surveying the funeral of Hollywood mogul
		   Harry Cohn
`,
	` If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is
 that no official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox
 in politics, nationalism, religion, or other matters of opinion or
 force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein. If there
 are any circumstances which permit an exception, they do not now occur
 to us. 
    -- Justice Jackson, writing for the majority, in West Virginia
       State Board of Education v. Barnette 319 U.S. 624 No. 591
`,
	`modem, adj.:
	Up-to-date, new-fangled, as in  Thoroughly Modem Millie.   An
	unfortunate byproduct of kerning.

	[That s sic!]
`,
	`Keep emotionally active.  Cater to your favorite neurosis.
`,
	`Live in a world of your own, but always welcome visitors.
`,
	`Oh, by the way, which one s Pink?
		-- Pink Floyd
`,
	`I put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of tennis
socks, not my style at all, but that was what I was aiming for:  If they think
you re crude, go technical; if they think you re technical, go crude.  I m a
very technical boy.  So I decided to get as crude as possible.  These days,
though, you have to be pretty technical before you can even aspire to
crudeness.
		-- Johnny Mnemonic, by William Gibson
`,
	`The chat program is in public domain. This is not the GNU public license. If
it breaks then you get to keep both pieces.
(Copyright notice for the chat program)
`,
	`For recreational use only.
`,
	`[Babe] Ruth made a big mistake when he gave up pitching.
		-- Tris Speaker, 1921
`,
	` Twas midnight on the ocean,		Her children all were orphans,
Not a streetcar was in sight,		Except one a tiny tot,
So I stepped into a cigar store		Who had a home across the way
To ask them for a light.		Above a vacant lot.

The man	behind the counter		As I gazed through the oaken door
Was a woman, old and gray,		A whale went drifting by,
Who used to peddle doughnuts		Its six legs hanging in the air,
On the road to Mandalay.		So I kissed her goodbye.

She said  Good morning, stranger ,	This story has a morale
Her eyes were dry with tears,		As you can plainly see,
As she put her head between her feet	Don t mix your gin with whiskey
And stood that way for years.		On the deep and dark blue sea.
		-- Midnight On The Ocean
`,
	`Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.
		-- Edgar W. Howe
`,
	`LBJ, LBJ, how many JOKES did you tell today??!
`,
	`You mean you don t want to watch WRESTLING from ATLANTA?
`,
	` I am your density. 
		-- George McFly in  Back to the Future 
`,
	`Fortune finishes the great quotations, #12

	Those who can, do.  Those who can t, write the instructions.
`,
	`[From the operation manual for the CI-300 Dot Matrix Line Printer, made
in Japan]:

The excellent output machine of MODEL CI-300 as extraordinary DOT MATRIX
LINE PRINTER, built in two MICRO-PROCESSORs as well as EAROM, is featured by
permitting wonderful co-existence such as;  high quality against low cost, 
 diversified functions with compact design,   flexibility in accessibleness
and durability of approx. 2000,000,00 Dot/Head,   being sophisticated in
mechanism but possibly agile operating under noises being extremely
suppressed  etc.

And as a matter of course, the final goal is just simply to help achieve
 super shuttle diplomacy  between cool data, perhaps earned by HOST
COMPUTER, and warm heart of human being.
`,
	`Hoaars-Faisse Gallery presents:
An exhibit of works by the artist known only as Pretzel.

The exhibit includes several large conceptual works using non-traditional
media and found objects including old sofa-beds, used mace canisters,
discarded sanitary napkins and parts of freeways.  The artist explores
our dehumanization due to high technology and unresponsive governmental
structures in a post-industrial world.  She/he (the artist prefers to
remain without gender) strives to create dialogue between viewer and
creator, to aid us in our quest to experience contemporary life with its
inner-city tensions, homelessness, global warming and gender and
class-based stress.  The works are arranged to lead us to the essence of
the argument: that the alienation of the person/machine boundary has
sapped the strength of our voices and must be destroyed for society to
exist in a more fundamental sense.
`,
	`* o-o always like debmake because he knew exactly what it would do...
<ibid> o-o: you would ;-)
`,
	`The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs
and begin to stifle our yawns.
		-- Helen Rowland
`,
	`To everything there is a season, a time for every pupose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace.
		Ecclesiastes 3:1-9
`,
	`Basic Definitions of Science:
	If it s green or wiggles, it s biology.
	If it stinks, it s chemistry.
	If it doesn t work, it s physics.
`,
	`Laws are like sausages.  It s better not to see them being made.
		-- Otto von Bismarck
`,
	`...Saure really turns out to be an adept at the difficult art of papryomancy,
the ability to prophesy through contemplating the way people roll reefers -
the shape, the licking pattern, the wrinkles and folds or absence thereof
in the paper.   You will soon be in love,  sez Saure,  see, this line here. 
 It s long, isn t it?  Does that mean --   Length is usually intensity.
Not time. 
		-- Thomas Pynchon, _Gravity s Rainbow_
`,
	`I never vote for anyone.  I always vote against.
		-- W. C. Fields
`,
	` He don t know me vewy well, DO he?    -- Bugs Bunny
`,
	`Bus error -- please leave by the rear door.
`,
	`FORTUNE DISCUSSES THE OBSCURE FILMS: #5

THE ATOMIC GRANDMOTHER:
	This humorous but heart-warming story tells of an elderly woman
	forced to work at a nuclear power plant in order to help the family
	make ends meet.  At night, granny sits on the porch, tells tales
	of her colorful past, and the family uses her to cook barbecues
	and to power small electrical appliances.  Maureen Stapleton gives
	a glowing performance.
`,
	`<xtifr> Athena Desktop Environment!  In your hearts, you *know* it s the
        right choice! :)
* Knghtbrd THWAPS xtifr
`,
	`> If you don t need X then little VT-100 terminals are available for real
> cheap.  Should be able to find decent ones used for around $40 each.
> For that price, they re a must for the kitchen, den, bathrooms, etc.. :)
You re right. Can you explain this to my wife?
		-- Seen on c.o.l.development.system, on the subject of extra terminals
`,
	`God grant me the senility to accept the things I cannot change,
The frustration to try to change things I cannot affect,
and the wisdom to tell the difference.
`,
	`It looked like something resembling white marble, which was
probably what it was: something resembling white marble.
		-- Douglas Adams,  The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy 
`,
	`I realize that the MX missile is none of our concern.  I realize that the
whole point of living in a democracy is that we pay professional
congresspersons to concern themselves with things like the MX missile so we
can be free to concern ourselves with getting hold of the plumber.

But from time to time, I feel I must address major public issues such as
this, because in a free and open society, where the very future of the world
hinges on decisions made by our elected leaders, you never win large cash
journalism awards if you stick to the topics I usually write about, such as
nose-picking.
		-- Dave Barry,  At Last, the Ultimate Deterrent Against
		   Political Fallout 
`,
	`When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
		-- Mark Twain,  Pudd nhead Wilson s Calendar 
`,
	`The answer to the question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is...

	Four day work week,
	Two ply toilet paper!
`,
	`... bacteriological warfare ... hard to believe we were once foolish
enough to play around with that.
		-- McCoy,  The Omega Glory , stardate unknown
`,
	`I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.
		-- Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)
`,
	`----==-- _                     / /  \
---==---(_)__  __ ____  __    / / /\ \
--==---/ / _ \/ // /\ \/ /   / /_/\ \ \
-=====/_/_//_/\_,_/ /_/\_\  /______\ \ \
A proud member of TeamLinux \_________\/
		-- CHaley (HAC), haley@unm.edu, ch008cth@pi.lanl.gov)
`,
	`...the increased productivity fostered by a friendly environment and quality
tools is essential to meet ever increasing demands for software.
		-- M. D. McIlroy, E. N. Pinson and B. A. Tague
`,
	`A man usually falls in love with a woman who asks the kinds of questions
he is able to answer.
		-- Ronald Colman
`,
	`You can t push on a string.
`,
	`The Worst Musical Trio
	There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at
a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their
instrument.  This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian
gentleman who was owed a personal favour by Georges Enesco, the celebrated
violinist.  Enesco agreed to give lessons to the son who was quite
unhampered by great musical talent.
	Three years later the boy s father insisted that he give a public
concert.   His aunt said that nobody plays the violin better than he does.
A cousin heard him the other day and screamed with enthusiasm.   Although
Enesco feared the consequences, he arranged a recital at the Salle Gaveau
in Paris.  However, nobody bought a ticket since the soloist was unknown.
	 Then you must accompany him on the piano,  said the boy s father,
 and it will be a sell out. 
	Reluctantly, Enesco agreed and it was.  On the night an excited
audience gathered.  Before the concert began Enesco became nervous and
asked for someone to turn his pages.
	In the audience was Alfred Cortot, the brilliant pianist, who
volunteered and made his way to the stage.
	The soloist was of uniformly low standard and next morning the
music critic of Le Figaro wrote:  There was a strange concert at the Salle
Gaveau last night.  The man whom we adore when he plays the violin played
the piano.  Another whom we adore when he plays the piano turned the pages.
But the man who should have turned the pages played the violin. 
		-- Stephen Pile,  The Book of Heroic Failures 
`,
	`Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.   -- David Letterman
`,
	`Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.
`,
	`One day the King decided that he would force all his subjects to tell the
truth.  A gallows was erected in front of the city gates.  A herald announced,
 Whoever would enter the city must first answer the truth to a question
which will be put to him.   Nasrudin was first in line.  The captain of the
guard asked him,  Where are you going?  Tell the truth -- the alternative
is death by hanging. 
	 I am going,  said Nasrudin,  to be hanged on that gallows. 
	 I don t believe you. 
	 Very well, if I have told a lie, then hang me! 
	 But that would make it the truth! 
	 Exactly,  said Nasrudin,  your truth. 
`,
	`Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place
in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling
of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.
		-- Richard Henry Dama,  Two Years Before the Mast , 1840
`,
	`Losing your drivers  license is just God s way of saying  BOOGA, BOOGA! 
`,
	`Questionable day.

Ask somebody something.
`,
	`Those who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly.
		-- Henry Spencer, University of Toronto Unix hack
`,
	`See other side for additional listings.
`,
	`I don t get no respect.
`,
	`You can cage a swallow, can t you,
	but you can t swallow a cage, can you?
Girl, bathing on Bikini, eyeing boy,
	finds boy eyeing bikini on bathing girl.
A man, a plan, a canal -- Panama!
		-- The Palindromist
`,
	`In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to
be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one s
beloved.
		-- Russell Baker
`,
	`The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but
that s the way to bet.
		-- Damon Runyon
`,
	`GREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY (#7):  November 23, 1915

Pancake make-up is invented; most people continue to prefer syrup.
`,
	`Every living thing wants to survive.
		-- Spock,  The Ultimate Computer , stardate 4731.3
`,
	`Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
`,
	`Stop searching forever.  Happiness is just next to you.
`,
	`Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect
that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers
and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the
essential death in which its subject s roots are plunged.  The natural
inheritance of everyone who is capable of spiritual life is an unsubdued
forest where the wolf howls and the obscene bird of night chatters.
		-- Henry James Sr., writing to his sons Henry and William
`,
	`* gxam wonders if all these globals are really necessary
<Knghtbrd> most of them at the moment yes
<Knghtbrd> we REALLY need to clean them up at some point
<Knghtbrd> gxam: the globals will have to go away as we migrate towards
           modularity and madness (ie, libtool)
`,
	`Because I do,
Because I do not hope,
Because I do not hope to survive
Injustice from the Palace, death from the air,
Because I do, only do,
I continue...
		-- T. S. Pynchon
`,
	`Up against the net, redneck mother,
Mother who has raised your son so well;
He s seventeen and hackin  on a Macintosh,
Flaming spelling errors and raisin  hell...
`,
	`Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
`,
	`Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol!  My darling!
Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling.

Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight,
Waiting on the doorstep for the cold starlight,
There my pretty lady is, River-woman s daughter,
Slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water.

Old Tom Bombadil water-lilies bringing
Comes hopping home again.  Can you hear him singing?
Hey!  Come merry dol! derry dol! and merry-o
Goldberry, Goldberry, merry yellow berry-o!

Poor old Willow-man, you tuck your roots away!
Tom s in a hurry now.  Evening will follow day.
Tom s going home again water-lilies bringing.
Hey! come derry dol!  Can you hear me singing?
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`There s some entertainment value in watching people juggle nitroglycerin.
		-- Larry Wall in <199712041747.JAA18908@wall.org>
`,
	`A bureaucrat s idea of cleaning up his files is to make a copy of everything
before he destroys it.
`,
	` I d love to go out with you, but I have to floss my cat. 
`,
	`We ve sent a man to the moon, and that s 29,000 miles away.  The center
of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away.  You could drive that in a week,
but for some reason nobody s ever done it.
		-- Andy Rooney
`,
	`The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M.
		-- Charles Pierce
`,
	`Don t vote -- it only encourages them!
`,
	` Course, that doesn t work when  a  contains parentheses.
		-- Larry Wall in <199710211647.JAA17957@wall.org>
`,
	`Let the machine do the dirty work.
		--  Elements of Programming Style , Kernighan and Ritchie
`,
	`<Dr^Nick> SGI_Multitexture is bad voodoo now
<Dr^Nick> ARB is good voodoo
<witten> no, voodoo rush is bad voodoo :)
`,
	`If it heals good, say it.
`,
	`bureaucracy, n:
	A method for transforming energy into solid waste.
`,
	`A woman shouldn t have to buy her own perfume.
		-- Maurine Lewis
`,
	`Old age is the harbor of all ills.
		-- Bion
`,
	`Don t be concerned, it will not harm you,
It s only me pursuing something I m not sure of,
Across my dreams, with neptive wonder,
I chase the bright elusive butterfly of love.
`,
	`Arbitrary systems, pl.n.:
	Systems about which nothing general can be said, save  nothing
	general can be said. 
`,
	`Why is it called a funny bone when it hurts so much?
`,
	`A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without
getting nervous.
`,
	`<-- Overfiend has quit ( venturing forth to destroy strange new
                         worlds, and eat life and new civilizations )
`,
	`With Congress, every time they make a joke it s a law; and every time
they make a law it s a joke.
		-- Will Rogers
`,
	`University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
		-- C. P. Snow
`,
	`Ha. I say let them try -- even vi+perl couldn t match the power of an
editor which is, after all, its own OS.  ;-)
		-- Johnie Ingram on debian-devel, about linking vim with libperl.so
`,
	`Reactor error - core dumped!
`,
	`I lay my head on the railroad tracks,
Waitin  for the double E.
The railroad don t run no more.
Poor poor pitiful me.			[chorus]
	Poor poor pitiful me, poor poor pitiful me.
	These young girls won t let me be,
	Lord have mercy on me!
	Woe is me!

Well, I met a girl, West Hollywood,
Well, I ain t naming names.
But she really worked me over good,
She was just like Jesse James.
She really worked me over good,
She was a credit to her gender.
She put me through some changes, boy,
Sort of like a Waring blender.		[chorus]

I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar,
She asked me if I d beat her.
She took me back to the Hyatt House,
I don t want to talk about it.		[chorus]
		-- Warren Zevon,  Poor Poor Pitiful Me 
`,
	`The Ranger isn t gonna like it, Yogi.
`,
	`Keep cool, but don t freeze.
		-- Hellman s Mayonnaise
`,
	`Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining
ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror
to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the
mid-fork of the Feather River before the completion of the Oroville Dam
in 1959.
		-- Grand Panjandrum s Special Award, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton
		   bad fiction contest.
`,
	`Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
		-- Seneca
`,
	` What is striking, however, is the general layout and integration of the
system.  Debian is a truly elegant Linux distribution; great care has
been taken in the preparation of packages and their placement within the
system.  The sheer number of packages available is also impressive.... 
`,
	`If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would
be a merrier world.
		-- J.R.R. Tolkien
`,
	`Romeo wasn t bilked in a day.
		-- Walt Kelly,  Ten Ever-Lovin  Blue-Eyed Years With Pogo 
`,
	`<raptor> Adamel, i think the code you fixed of mine didn t work
<raptor> i must not have commited the working code
<Knghtbrd> raptor: like it s the first time THAT has ever happened  =p
`,
	`101 USES FOR A DEAD MICROPROCESSOR
	(1)  Scarecrow for centipedes
	(2)  Dead cat brush
	(3)  Hair barrettes
	(4)  Cleats
	(5)  Self-piercing earrings
	(6)  Fungus trellis
	(7)  False eyelashes
	(8)  Prosthetic dog claws
        .
        .
        .
	(99)  Window garden harrow (pulled behind Tonka tractors)
	(100) Killer velcro
	(101) Currency
`,
	`Nutritional Slumming:
	Food whose enjoyment stems not from flavor but from a
complex mixture of class connotations, nostalgia signals, and
packaging semiotics: Katie and I bought this tub of Multi-Whip instead
of real whip cream because we thought petroleum distillate whip
topping seemed like the sort of food that air force wives stationed in
Pensacola back in the early sixties would feed their husbands to
celebrate a career promotion.
		-- Douglas Coupland,  Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
		   Culture 
`,
	`	Joe sat as his dying wife s bedside.
	Her voice was little more than a whisper.
	 Joe, darling,  she breathed,  I ve got a confession to make
before I go.  I ... I m the one who took the $10,000 from your safe...
I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Charles.  And it was I who
forced your mistress to leave the city.  And I am the one who reported
your income-tax evasion to the I.R.S... 
	 That s all right, dearest, don t give it a second thought, 
whispered Joe.  I m the one who poisoned you. 
`,
	`Machines have less problems.  I d like to be a machine.
		-- Andy Warhol
`,
	`<darkangel> I generally don t use anything that has  experimental  and
             warning  pasted all over it
<darkangel> no, I m not that dumb... hehe
<Knghtbrd> ...
* darkangel considers downloading the latest unstable kernel
`,
	`			HOW TO PROVE IT, PART 5

proof by accumulated evidence:
	Long and diligent search has not revealed a counterexample.

proof by cosmology:
	The negation of the proposition is unimaginable or
	meaningless. Popular for proofs of the existence of God.

proof by mutual reference:
	In reference A, Theorem 5 is said to follow from Theorem 3 in
	reference B, which is shown to follow from Corollary 6.2 in
	reference C, which is an easy consequence of Theorem 5 in
	reference A.

proof by metaproof:
	A method is given to construct the desired proof. The
	correctness of the method is proved by any of these
	techniques.
`,
	` I call Christianity the *one* great curse, the *one* great intrinsic
depravity, the *one* great instinct for revenge for which no expedient
is sufficiently poisonous, secret, subterranean, *petty* -- I call it
the *one* mortal blemish of mankind. 
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
`,
	` If you are beginning to doubt what I am saying, you are
 probably hallucinating. 
		-- The Firesign Theatre, _Everything you know is Wrong_
`,
	`What orators lack in depth they make up in length.
`,
	`Is it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is meant to
be discarded:  that the whole point is to always see it as a soap bubble?
`,
	`They just buzzed and buzzed...buzzed.
`,
	`If I could drop dead right now, I d be the happiest man alive!
		-- Samuel Goldwyn
`,
	`The next person to mention spaghetti stacks to me is going to have
his head knocked off.
		-- Bill Conrad
`,
	`Chemicals, n.:
	Noxious substances from which modern foods are made.
`,
	`Cynic, n.:
	Experienced.
`,
	`At times discretion should be thrown aside,
and with the foolish we should play the fool.
		-- Menander
`,
	`Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore
them long enough.
`,
	`[32m《野望》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
西山白雪三城戍，南浦清江万里桥。
海内风尘诸弟隔，天涯涕泪一身遥。
惟将迟暮供多病，未有涓埃答圣朝。
跨马出郊时极目，不堪人事日萧条。
`,
	`First Law of Socio-Genetics:
	Celibacy is not hereditary.
`,
	`It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer,  The Odyssey 

	[Quoted in  VMS Internals and Data Structures , V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
`,
	`If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward,
then we are a sorry lot indeed.
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	`Between infinite and short there is a big difference.
		-- G. H. Gonnet
`,
	`Arthur s Laws of Love:
	(1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you
	    remind them of someone else.
	(2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be
	    delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of
	    yourself in person.
`,
	`Grand Master Turing once dreamed that he was a machine.  When he awoke
he exclaimed:
	 I don t know whether I am Turing dreaming that I am a machine,
	or a machine dreaming that I am Turing! 
		-- Geoffrey James,  The Tao of Programming 
`,
	`Be careful what you set your heart on -- for it will surely be yours.
		-- James Baldwin,  Nobody Knows My Name 
`,
	`I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on
the same day.  Then that night, they burned the wheel.
		-- Jack Handey, The New Mexican, 1988.
`,
	`Higgeldy Piggeldy,
Hamlet of Elsinore
Ruffled the critics by
Dropping this bomb:
 Phooey on Freud and his
Psychoanalysis --
Oedipus, Shmoedipus,
I just love Mom. 
`,
	`For men use, if they have an evil turn, to write it in marble:
and whoso doth us a good turn we write it in dust.
		-- Sir Thomas More
`,
	`<wolfgang> the problem with the  go find a real girl  admonition is
           that so few of them actually have naked transformation
           sequences
<reality> Dude, my girlfriend changes like four times a day
`,
	` Morality is one thing.  Ratings are everything. 
		-- A Network 23 executive on  Max Headroom 
`,
	`Uh-oh -- WHY am I suddenly thinking of a VENERABLE religious leader
frolicking on a FORT LAUDERDALE weekend?
`,
	`We are not a clone.
`,
	`This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.
`,
	`Restraint

Manage a great nation as you would cook a delicate fish.
To govern men in accord with nature
It is best to be restrained;
Restraint makes agreement easy to attain,
And easy agreement builds harmonious relationships;
With sufficient harmony no resistance will arise;
When no resistance arises, then you possess the heart of the
nation,
And when you possess the nation s heart, your influence will long
endure:
Deeply rooted and firmly established.
This is the method of far sight and long life.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
		-- Alexander Pope
`,
	` How do I love thee?  My accumulator overflows. 
`,
	`[32m《章台夜思》[m
[33m作者：韦庄[m
清瑟怨遥夜，绕弦风雨哀。
孤灯闻楚角，残月下章台。
芳草已云暮，故人殊未来。
乡书不可寄，秋雁又南回。
`,
	`Alex Buell:
Or how about a Penguin logo painted in really really trippy
colours, and emblazoned with the word LSD. :o)

Geert Uytterhoeven:
We already had that one, but unfortunately Russell King fixed that nasty
palette bug in drivers/video/fbcon.c :-)
		-- linux-kernel
`,
	` Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception. 
		-- The mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989
`,
	`The human brain is a wonderful thing.  It starts working the moment
you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
		-- Sir George Jessel
`,
	`Be open to other people -- they may enrich your dream.
`,
	`Perl is designed to give you several ways to do anything, so
consider picking the most readable one.
		-- Larry Wall in the perl man page
`,
	`For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.
		-- Paul of Tarsus, (Saint Paul)
`,
	`If at first you don t succeed, you re doing about average.
		-- Leonard Levinson
`,
	`To stand and be still,
At the Birkenhead drill,
Is a damned tough bullet to chew.
		-- Rudyard Kipling
`,
	` ... And remember: if you don t like the news, go out and make some of
your own. 
		--  Scoop  Nisker, KFOG radio reporter Preposterous Words
`,
	`Hey, waiter!  I want a NEW SHIRT and a PONY TAIL with lemon sauce!
`,
	`Reserve your abuse for your true friends.
		-- Larry Wall in <199712041852.KAA19364@wall.org>
`,
	`Do what you can to prolong your life, in the hope that someday you ll
learn what it s for.
`,
	`Illegally parked cars will be towed at owner s expense.
`,
	`That s one small step for a man; one giant leap for mankind.
		-- Neil Armstrong
`,
	`>    What is the status of Linux  Unicode implementation. Will Linux
>    be prepared for the first contact?

We have full klingon console support just in case
		-- Alan Cox on linux-kernel
`,
	` The Amiga is the only personal computer where you can run a multitasking
operating system and get realtime performance, out of the box. 
		-- Peter da Silva
`,
	`You know my heart keeps tellin  me,
You re not a kid at thirty-three,
You play around you lose your wife,
You play too long, you lose your life.
Some gotta win, some gotta lose,
Goodtime Charlie s got the blues.
`,
	`When smashing monuments, save the pedstals -- they always come in handy.
		-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec,  Unkempt Thoughts 
`,
	`Novinson s Revolutionary Discovery:
	When comes the revolution, things will be different --
	not better, just different.
`,
	`[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment
where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand
more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.
		-- S. Kierkegaard
`,
	`briefcase, n:
	A trial where the jury gets together and forms a lynching party.
`,
	`philosophy:
	Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
`,
	`How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you re on.
`,
	`I find you lack of faith in the forth dithturbing.
		-- Darse ( Darth ) Vader
`,
	`Only two groups of people fall for flattery -- men and women.
`,
	`[32m《春雨》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
怅卧新春白袷衣，白门寥落意多违。
红楼隔雨相望冷，珠箔飘灯独自归。
远路应悲春ꆼ晚，残宵犹得梦依稀。
玉ꆼ缄札何由达，万里云罗一雁飞。
`,
	`Keep up the good work!  But please don t ask me to help.
`,
	`Baruch s Observation:
	If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
`,
	`If you ve done six impossible things before breakfast, why not round it
off with dinner at Milliway s, the restaurant at the end of the universe?
		-- Douglas Adams,  The Restaurant at the End of the Universe 
`,
	`[From the operation manual for the CI-300 Dot Matrix Line Printer, made
in Japan]:

The excellent output machine of MODEL CI-300 as extraordinary DOT MATRIX
LINE PRINTER, built in two MICRO-PROCESSORs as well as EAROM, is featured by
permitting wonderful co-existence such as;  high quality against low cost, 
 diversified functions with compact design,   flexibility in accessibleness
and durability of approx. 2000,000,00 Dot/Head,   being sophisticated in
mechanism but possibly agile operating under noises being extremely
suppressed  etc.

And as a matter of course, the final goal is just simply to help achieve
 super shuttle diplomacy  between cool data, perhaps earned by HOST
COMPUTER, and warm heart of human being.
`,
	`Demons

When you use the Way to conquer the world,
Your demons will lose their power to harm.
It is not that they lose their power as such,
But that they will not harm others;
Because they will not harm others,
You will not harm others:
When neither you nor your demons can do harm,
You will be at peace with them.
		-- Lao Tse,  Tao Te Ching 
`,
	`The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
`,
	`You re definitely on their list.  The question to ask next is what list it is.
`,
	` There was no difference between the behavior of a god and the operations of
pure chance... 
		-- Thomas Pynchon, _Gravity s Rainbow_
`,
	`Farewell we call to hearth and hall!
Though wind may blow and rain may fall,
We must away ere break of day
Far over wood and mountain tall.

	To Rivendell, where Elves yet dwell
	In glades beneath the misty fell,
	Through moor and waste we ride in haste,
	And whither then we cannot tell.

With foes ahead, behind us dread,
Beneath the sky shall be our bed,
Until at last our toil be passed,
Our journey done, our errand sped.

	We must away!  We must away!
	We ride before the break of day!
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
`,
	`There s nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead
armadillos.
		-- Jim Hightower, Texas Agricultural Commissioner
`,
	`File cabinet:
	A four drawer, manually activated trash compactor.
`,
	`[32m《郡斋雨中与诸文士燕集》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
兵卫森画戟，燕寝凝清香。
海上风雨至，逍遥池阁凉。
烦疴近消散，嘉宾复满堂。
自惭居处崇，未睹斯民康。
理会是非遣，性达形迹忘。
鲜肥属时禁，蔬果幸见尝。
俯饮一杯酒，仰聆金玉章。
神欢体自轻，意欲凌风翔。
吴中盛文史，群彦今汪洋。
方知大藩地，岂曰财赋强。
`,
	`When love is gone, there s always justice.
And when justice is gone, there s always force.
And when force is gone, there s always Mom.
Hi, Mom!
		-- Laurie Anderson
`,
	`It s there as a sop to former Ada programmers.  :-)
		-- Larry Wall regarding 10_000_000 in <11556@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>
`,
	`It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of
work to do.
		-- Jerome Klapka Jerome
`,
	`This is now.  Later is later.
`,
	`Many Myths are based on truth
		-- Spock,  The Way to Eden ,  stardate 5832.3
`,
	`Drinking is not a spectator sport.
		-- Jim Brosnan
`,
	`And so it was, later,
As the miller told his tale,
That her face, at first just ghostly,
Turned a whiter shade of pale.
		-- Procol Harum
`,
	`		     THE  FUN WITH USENET  MANIFESTO
Very little happens on Usenet without some sort of response from some other
reader.  Fun With Usenet postings are no exception.  Since there are some who
might question the rationale of some of the excerpts included therein, I have
written up a list of guidelines that sum up the philosophy behind these
postings.

	One.  I never cut out words in the middle of a quote without a VERY
good reason, and I never cut them out without including ellipses.  For
instance,  I am not a goob  might become  I am ... a goob , but that s too
mundane to bother with.   I m flame proof  might (and has) become
 I m ...a... p...oof  but that s REALLY stretching it.

	Two.  If I cut words off the beginning or end of a quote, I don t
put ellipses, but neither do I capitalize something that wasn t capitalized
before the cut.  I don t think that the Church of Ubizmo is a wonderful
place  would turn into  the Church of Ubizmo is a wonderful place .  Imagine
the posting as a tape-recording of the poster s thoughts.  If I can set
up the quote via fast-forwarding and stopping the tape, and without splicing,
I don t put ellipses in.  And by the way, I love using this mechanism for
turning things around.  If you think something stinks, say so - don t say you
don t think it s wonderful.   ...
		-- D. J. McCarthy (dmccart@cadape.UUCP)
`,
	`Madness has no purpose.  Or reason.  But it may have a goal.
		-- Spock,  The Alternative Factor , stardate 3088.7
`,
	`I came home the other night and tried to open the door with my car keys...and
the building started up.  So I took it out for a drive.  A cop pulled me over
for speeding.  He asked me where I live...  Right here .
		-- Steven Wright
`,
	`Behind every great computer sits a skinny little geek.
`,
	`The young lady had an unusual list,
Linked in part to a structural weakness.
She set no preconditions.
`,
	`Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold.
`,
	`Computers are like air conditioners.  Both stop working, if you open windows.
		-- Adam Heath
`,
	`It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
		-- Leonardo da Vinci
`,
	`The chief enemy of creativity is  good  sense
		-- Picasso
`,
	` I hate the itching.  But I don t mind the swelling. 
-- new buzz phrase, like  Where s the Beef?  that David Letterman s trying
   to get everyone to start saying
`,
	`I was about to say,  Avoid fame like the plague,  but you know, they can
cure the plague with penicillin these days.
		-- Larry Wall in <199709242015.NAA10312@wall.org>
`,
	`Even if we put all these nagging thoughts [four embarrassing questions about
astrology] aside for a moment, one overriding question remains to be asked.
Why would the positions of celestial objects at the moment of birth have an
effect on our characters, lives, or destinies?  What force or influence,
what sort of energy would travel from the planets and stars to all human
beings and affect our development or fate?  No amount of scientific-sounding
jargon or computerized calculations by astrologers can disguise this central
problem with astrology -- we can find no evidence of a mechanism by which
celestial objects can influence us in so specific and personal a way. . . .
Some astrologers argue that there may be a still unknown force that represents
the astrological influence. . . .If so, astrological predictions -- like those
of any scientific field -- should be easily tested. . . . Astrologers always
claim to be just a little too busy to carry out such careful tests of their
efficacy, so in the last two decades scientists and statisticians have
generously done such testing for them.  There have been dozens of well-designed
tests all around the world, and astrology has failed every one of them. . . .
I propose that we let those beckoning lights in the sky awaken our interest
in the real (and fascinating) universe beyond our planet, and not let them
keep us tied to an ancient fantasy left over from a time when we huddled by
the firelight, afraid of the night.
-- Andrew Fraknoi, Executive Officer, Astronomical Society of the Pacific,
     Why Astrology Believers Should Feel Embarrassed,  San Jose Mercury
    News, May 8, 1988
`,
	`Life is like arriving late for a movie, having to figure out what was
going on without bothering everybody with a lot of questions, and then
being unexpectedly called away before you find out how it ends.
`,
	`A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
won t cross the street to vote in a national election.
		-- Bill Vaughan
`,
	`When there is an old maid in the house, a watch dog is unnecessary.
		-- Balzac
`,
	`When you re away, I m restless, lonely,
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
Here s the rub, my darling dear
I feel the same when you are near.
		-- Samuel Hoffenstein,  When You re Away 
`,
	`Odd that we think definitions are definitive.   :-)
		-- Larry Wall in <199702221943.LAA20388@wall.org>
`,
	`Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to
know the answers.
		-- Gene Wolfe,  The Claw of the Conciliator 
`,
	`APL is a write-only language.  I can write programs in APL, but I can t
read any of them.
		-- Roy Keir
`,
	`Ein Betrunkener torkelt aus einer Kneipe auf den Parkplatz und tastet
bei den Autos auf den Dächern herum. Das sieht ein Passant und fragt
Ihn, was er da macht.
 Ich sssuche meine Aut-to! 
 Guter Mann, so werden Sie ihr Auto nie finden! Erstens erkennt man
dadurch weder die Marke noch die Farbe und das Kennzeichen können Sie
so auch nicht lesen! 
 D-Das macht nichtss! D-Da mmusss irgenwwoo ein Blaulicht drauf sein! 
`,
	`Lieber von den Richtigen kritisiert als von den Falschen gelobt
werden.
		-- Gerhard Kocher
`,
	`Der Reaktionär ist ein Nachtwandler, der rückwärts geht.
		-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt
`,
	`10 Gründe, warum e besser ist als pi.

10) e ist einfacher zu buchstabieren als pi.
9) pi ist ca. 3.14 wobei e = 2.718281828459045.
8) Den Buchstaben e gibt es auf der Tastatur, aber pi sicher nicht.
7) /* geht nicht */
6) ln(pi^1) ist eine ziemlich beschissene Zahl, aber ln(e^1) = 1.
5) e wird in der HM benutzt, pi dafür in Elementar-Geometrie.
4)  e  ist der am meisten gewählte Buchstabe beim Glücksrad.
3) e steht für die Eulersche Zahl, pi steht für squat?
2) Du brauchst kein griechisch zu können, um e zu benutzen.
1) Du kannst e nicht mit einem Lebensmittel verwechseln.
`,
	`Ordnung ist das Festgewand des Alltags.
		-- Karl Foerster
`,
	`F: Was verlangt ein Sachse in England, wenn er einen Weihnachtsbaum
   kaufen will?
A:  Ä Dännsch n please! 
`,
	`Leitfaden durch die Phraseologie wissenschaftlicher Veröffentlichungen:
Englisch:
  To our knowledge, the nature of X has not been determined previously.
Deutsch:
  Prioritätsanspruch für eine unbedeutende Entdeckung (gehoben ausgedrückt)
`,
	`Inmitten eines beschränkten Volkes wird ein Genie zu einem Gott:
Jedermann betet es an, und niemand tut, was es will.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`Es wird Wagen geben, die von keinem Tier gezogen werden und mit
unglaublicher Gewalt daherfahren.
		-- Leonardo da Vinci
`,
	`Ich war aber in dieser Zeit allmählich dahin gekommen, einzusehen, daß
dem alten Testament - mit seiner offensichtlich falschen
Weltgeschichte, mit seinem babylonischen Turm, mit dem Regenbogen als
Zeichen usw. und seiner Art, Gott Gefühle eines rachedurstigen
Tyrannen zuzuschreiben - nicht mehr Glauben zu schenken sei als den
heiligen Schriften der Hindus oder dem Glauben irgendeines Wilden.
		-- Charles Darwin
`,
	`Ich täusche nie einen anderen Menschen, ja nicht mal mich selbst.
`,
	`Am Abend manche Hülle fällt, die sonst des Leibes Fülle hält.
`,
	` NOP , sprach der Prozessor und machte für den Rest des Maschinenzyklus
blau.
`,
	`Was ist wohl fern, besitzt man Unternehmungslust, und was zu schwer,
ist man sich seiner Kraft bewußt!
		-- Indisches Sprichwort
`,
	`Linux wird nie zum meistinstallierten System -
so oft wie man Windows neu installieren darf.
`,
	`Die schlimmste Krankheit ist die Gleichgültigkeit. Na und?
`,
	`Du bekommst einen Computervirus genau dann, wenn Du ihn am wenigsten brauchen
kannst.
`,
	`Für einen trägen Geist ist auch eine Weltausstellung kein Anreiz. Ein
reger Geist interessiert sich auch für ein Sandkörnchen.
		-- Raymond Hull
`,
	`Der Reim ist etwas, das mehr den nordlichern Ländern eigen ist, so wie
das Silben-Maß mehr in den südlichern verehrt wurde, bei diesen ist
alles Musik, da bei jenen nur zuweilen aber desto stärker die Kunst
und Harmonie sichtbar wird; ich zweifle nicht, daß die Griechen und
Römer nicht mannigmal auf Reime verfallen seien, es war aber dieses
Künstliche in ihnen allzu fühlbar und ihnen daher verhaßt, so wie uns
die Reime schmetterte und kletterte, dahingegen ihr zärteres Ohr schon
eher Füße zählen konnte, als wie unseres, das sich daher ein fühlbares
Silbenmaß, den Reim erfand. Daher haben die alten deutschen Verse oft
nur Reime und fast gar kein metrum.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Der Mensch kommt fast nie aus Vernunft zur Vernunft.
		-- Charles-Louis de Montesquieu
`,
	`Überall geht ein frühes Ahnen dem späteren Wissen voraus.
		-- Alexander von Humboldt
`,
	`Bannalp, die
  Ein Lattenrost, auf dem sich jede Matratze binnen weniger Tage bis zum
  Boden durchbiegt.
		-- Douglas Adams, John Lloyd, Sven Böttcher ( Der tiefere Sinn des Labenz )
`,
	`Jedermann weiß, wie sich der Nachfrager zu verhalten hätte, nur der
Nachfrager nicht.
		-- Peter Drucker
`,
	`Die Religion ist das Gefühl der schlechthinnigen Abhängigkeit.
		-- Friedrich Schleiermacher
`,
	`Vergib Deinen Feinden, aber vergiß niemals ihre Namen.
		-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
`,
	`Das Geld, was man für seine Hochzeit ausgibt, ist sehr häufig die
erste Einzahlung in die wechselseitige Lebensverbitterungsanstalt.
		-- Johann Nepomuk Nestroy
`,
	`Pädagogik ist die Art, wie man zuschlägt.
		-- Erwin Pelzig
`,
	`Ein Mensch in einer fremden Stadt fragt: 
   Wissen Sie, wo es zum Bahnhof geht? 
Verhaltenstherapeut:  Heben Sie den rechten Fuß. Schieben Sie ihn
   nach vorn. Setzen Sie ihn auf. Sehr gut. Hier haben Sie ein Bonbon. 
`,
	`Unsere Wünsche sind die Vorboten der Fähigkeiten, die in uns liegen.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
`,
	`Schwach anfangen und dann stark nachlassen.
`,
	`Solange noch Leben und Atem in dir sind, mach dich von niemand
abhängig! Übergib keinem dein Vermögen, sonst mußt du ihn wieder darum
bitten.
		-- Jesus (Sirach)
`,
	`Die ewigen langweiligen leeren Vorübungen zum Kriege müssen dem
Soldaten ordentlich Sehnsucht nach einem freiern und treffenden
Realschießen machen.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Letzte Worte der Mutter:
   Ich hab mal deine Disketten sortiert. 
`,
	`Erst lachen sie über Euch,
dann bekämpfen Sie Euch,
und dann siegt Ihr.
		-- Mahatma Gandhi
`,
	`Ein halbleeres Glas Wein ist zugleich ein halbvolles, aber eine halbe
Lüge mitnichten eine halbe Wahrheit.
		-- Jean Cocteau
`,
	`Eine gefallene Schreibfeder muss man gleich aufheben, sonst wird 
sie zertreten.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 656
`,
	`Derselbe Scharfsinn findet an allen Behauptungen das Wahre, der an
allen das Falsche entdeckt - er weiß kaum, wo er anfangen soll, zu
widerlegen oder beizutreten.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Mut besteht nicht darin, daß man die Gefahr blind übersieht, sondern
darin, daß man sie sehend überwindet.
		-- Jean Paul (eig. Johann Paul Friedrich Richter)
`,
	`Wann arbeitest Du eigentlich?
Och, immer wenn ich nichts zu tun habe.
`,
	`Der Anfang ist die Hälfte des Ganzen.
		-- Aristoteles, 384-322 v. Chr.
`,
	`Cadix liegt auf einer Insel, und vermittels einer Brücke hängt das feste Land mit dem
Meere zusammen.
		-- Johann Georg August Galletti
`,
	`Ein Hotelgast schreckt nachts immer wieder hoch, weil im Nachbarzimmer
eine fröhliche Runde lautstark Karten spielte. Schließlich trommelte
er wütend gegen die Wand. Ertönt eine Stimme von nebenan:  Ist aber
eine verdammt schlechte Zeit um Bilder aufzuhängen. 
`,
	`Man kann Liebe selten zu spät, immer zu bald gestehen.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Lächle, und die Welt lächelt zurück.
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  B. Scheuert 
`,
	`Die Wissenschaften zerstören sich auf doppelte Weise selbst: 
Durch die Breite, in die sie gehen, und durch die Tiefe, in die sie 
sich versenken.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1101
`,
	`Zivilisation ist die erzwungene Tierzähmung des Menschen.
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
`,
	`Das ist schön bei den Deutschen: Keiner ist so verrückt, daß er nicht
einen noch Verrückteren fände, der ihn versteht.
		-- Heinrich Heine
`,
	`SOLDAT: _S_oll _o_hne _l_anges _D_enken _a_lles _t_un.
`,
	`Die Irrtümer des Menschen machen ihn eigentlich liebenswürdig.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 419
`,
	`Letzte Worte einer Kuh beim Melken:
   Kuuuuurzschluuuuuss... 
`,
	`Linux ist ein Krebsgeschwür, das in Bezug auf
geistiges Eigentum alles befällt, was es berührt.
		-- Steve Ballmer, Microsoft
`,
	`Bei wissenschaftlichen Streitigkeiten nehme man sich in Acht, 
die Probleme nicht zu vermehren.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1051
`,
	`Wer schreit, der lügt. Die Wahrheit hat eine leise Stimme.
		-- Isländisches Sprichwort
`,
	`Nur der Schweigende hört.
		-- Josef Pieper 
`,
	`Bei uns kann jeder werden, was er will - ob er will oder nicht.
`,
	`Die Regierung, sogar die beste, ist nichts anderes als ein notwendiges
Übel; die schlechteste ist unerträglich.
		-- Thomas Paine
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  T. Lefon 
`,
	`Schönheit und Geist muss man entfernen, wenn man nicht ihr 
Knecht werden will.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 504
`,
	`Aus der Tatsache, daß der Plural von Atlas Atlanten ist, kann man
nicht schließen, daß der Plural von Kompass Kompanten sein muß.
`,
	`Warum muß ich bei  Verwaltung von Problemlösungen für eine
EDV-Abteilung  an einen Waffenschrank denken?
		-- Robin S. Socha in de.comp.os.unix.linux.misc
`,
	`Ein Stinktier saß auf einer Bank -
und stank.
Es hatte keine Eile,
Es stank nur so - aus Langeweile.
Und als die Sonne ward gesunken -
Da hat es immer noch gestunken.
`,
	`Ich kann nirgendwo mehr so richtig eine Zivilisation erkennen.
Das wiederum erkenne ich daran, daß gar keiner mehr versucht,
seinen Egoismus zu vertuschen.
                -- Martin Diestelhorst
`,
	`Vaterland nennt der Staat immer dann, wenn er sich anschickt, auf
Menschenmord auszugehen.
                -- Friedrich Dürrenmatt (Romulus der Große)
`,
	`F: Wie bekommt man einen Elefanten in eine Telefonzelle?
A: Tür auf, Elefant rein, Tür zu.
`,
	`Man kann Dummheit sorgfältig durch Erziehung zu Vorurteilen
herbeiführen.
		-- Alexander Mitscherlich
`,
	`Es kommt darauf an, sich von anderen zu unterscheiden; ein Engel im
Himmel fällt niemandem auf.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`Nichts vermittelt so sehr das Gefühl von Unendlichkeit als die
menschliche Dummheit.
		-- Ödön von Horváth
`,
	`Wir leben innerhalb der abgeleiteten Erscheinungen und wissen 
keineswegs, wie wir zur Urfrage kommen sollen.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 973
`,
	`Ein Porschefahrer ist mit seinem Auto gegen einen Baum gefahren.
Da kommt ein anderer, hält an und sagt dem Porschefahrer:
 Hey, du dein Arm ist ab! 
Doch der Porschefahrer jammert:  Mein Porsche, mein Porsche. 
 Hey, du dein Arm ist ab!  sagt der andere.
Doch der Porschefahrer jammert wieder  Mein Porsche, mein Porsche. 
Sagt der andere wieder  Hey, du dein Arm ist ab! 
Daraufhin sagt der Porschefahrer  Meine Rolex, meine Rolex. 
`,
	`Alkohol ist keine Antwort, aber man vergißt beim Trinken die Frage.
		-- Henry Mon
`,
	`Sentimentalität nennen wir das gefühl, das wir nicht teilen.
		-- Graham Henry Greene
`,
	`Sich im Dreck zu wälzen, ist kein gutes Mittel, um sauber zu werden.
		-- Aldous Huxley
`,
	`Esoterik:
  Steht auf Altgriechisch für  Seit die Menschen nicht mehr an Gott
  glauben, glauben sie nicht etwa an gar nichts mehr, sondern an
  alles . Die Lehre vom subtilen, gerechten Abzocken
  räucherkerzenbenebelter, nach Mottenkugeln stinkender
  Sackpulliträger vom Typ  Müsli-Jochen  oder  Kelly-Fan , denen man
  für ein Heidengeld den allergrößten Schwachsinn (Wunderkiesel,
  Erdstrahlenfilter, Energiepyramiden und geschleudertes Wasser)
  andrehen kann.
`,
	`Was hat denn der Gast von Tisch drei ins Beschwerdebuch geschrieben?
Gar nichts, er hat das Schnitzel eingeklebt.
`,
	`Ich glaube nicht an Zufall.
Die Menschen, die in der Welt vorwärtskommen, sind die Menschen, die
aufstehen und nach dem von ihnen benötigten Zufall Ausschau halten.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`Trennungen sind letztendlich immer eine Folge von zu wenig Vertrauen.
		-- Wolperin
`,
	`Puritanismus ist die quälende Furcht, daß irgendwer irgendwo
glücklicher sein könnte.
		-- Henry Louis Mencken
`,
	`Ein Vorurteil ist ein Irrtum, der Wurzeln geschlagen hat.
		-- Martin Held
`,
	`Kleiner Lötkolben für Prozessorreparatur gesucht.
`,
	`Der Mensch ist das einzige Tier, das errötet.
		-- Mark Twain (eigl. Samuel Langhorne Clemens)
`,
	`Uns ist kein Sein vergönnt. Wir sind nur Strom, wir fließen willig
allen Formen ein: dem Tag, der Nacht, der Höhle und dem Dom, wir gehn
hindurch, uns treibt der Durst nach Sein.
		-- Hermann Hesse
`,
	`Es hat keinen Sinn den Brunnen zuzuschütten wenn das Kind schon verbrannt ist.
`,
	`Drei Tore braucht der Bauer: Haustor, Hoftor, Traktor.
`,
	`Alle Fehler, die man macht, sind eher zu verzeihen als die Mittel, die
man anwendet, um sie zu verbergen.
		-- François de La Rochefoucauld
`,
	`Autobahn - Deutschlands größte Psychiatrie
		-- Henning Venske
`,
	`Letzte Worte eines Fleischermeisters:
   Jungs, schmeißt mir mal das große Messer rüber! 
`,
	`Wenn Albert albert, ruht Ruth.
Wenn Ruth albert, ruht Albert.
`,
	`Kommt ein Geldfälscher zur Bank.
 Ich möchte gerne den 18DM-Schein gewechselt haben 
Bankangestellter:
 Gern! Wie möchten sie das denn? Zwei Neuner oder drei Sechser? 
`,
	`Wußten Sie schon...
... daß das Durchschnittsalter für Säuglinge in der Bundesrepublik
    Deutschland 1,5 Jahre beträgt, das für Maschinenschlosser aber
    32 Jahre?
`,
	`Die Bücher machen nicht gut oder schlecht, nur besser oder schlechter.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Jeder Mensch hat ein Brett vor dem Kopf - es kommt nur auf die
Entfernung an.
		-- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
`,
	`Wenn alle in einer Wirtschaftskrise bewegungslos warten, wie soll sie
dann überwunden werden?
		-- Nino Cerruti
`,
	`Es ist ein großer Vorteil im Leben, die Fehler, aus denen man lernen
kann, möglichst früh zu begehen.
		-- Winston Spencer Churchill
`,
	` Denn die Götter lehren uns ihr eigenstes Werk nachahmen; doch 
wissen wir nur, was wir tun, erkennen aber nicht, was wir nachahmen. 
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 101
`,
	`Da gab es doch mal einen Glaser, der 24 Fensterscheiben erneuerte, bis
er merkte, daß er einen Sprung in der Brille hatte...
`,
	`Aus Murphy s Gesetze:
Angaben eines Herstellers über die Leistungen müssen mit dem Faktor
0,2 bis maximal 0,5 multipliziert werden.
`,
	`Aus Murphy s Gesetze:
80% des Abschlußexamens gründen sich auf die eine versäumt Vorlesung.
`,
	`Ein unzulängliches Wahre wirkt eine Zeitlang fort, statt 
völliger Aufklärung aber tritt auf einmal ein blendendes Falsche 
herein; das genügt der Welt, und so sind Jahrhunderte betört.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 292
`,
	`Bill Gates widersprach der Vermutung einiger Experten, daß es sich bei
Windows 98 um einen bösartigen Virus handelt. Gates:  Ein Virus tut
schließlich etwas und verbraucht keine 100 MB Plattenplatz. Nur
richtig gute Programmierer können derart effiziente Programme
entwickeln. Solche Scharlatane haben bei uns keine Chance! 
`,
	`Was man nicht aufgibt, hat man nie verloren.
		-- Friedrich Schiller
`,
	`Herr Fielding sucht in der Vorrede zu seinem Andrews den Grund des
Lächerlichen in einer gezwungenen Nachahmung, allein er hat nicht
bedacht, daß alsdann allemal das lächerliche nur im affektierten
bestünde, da es doch viele Handlungen gibt, die an sich ohne Beziehung
auf etwas anderes lächerlich sind; und auf diese Art fällt eine der
größten Quellen des lächerlichen weg, nämlich wenn jemand etwas für
sehr wichtig im Ernst hält, was nur eine Kleinigkeit ist, wie Orgon,
da er von einer Fliege gestochen wird, oder der Verweis des Don
Sylvio, den er dem Pedrillo gibt, weil er so frei im Palast der weißen
Katze schwatzt, und dergleichen mehr.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Die Götter handhaben uns Menschen gleichsam wie Wurfgeschosse.
		-- Titus Maccius Plautus (Die Gefangenen)
`,
	`Laut Statistik ist die Ehe, die Hauptursache aller Scheidungen.
`,
	`Es gibt drei Aristokratien:
1) die der Geburt und des Ranges,
2) die Geldaristokratie,
3) die geistige Aristokratie.
Letztere ist eigentlich die vornehmste.
		-- Arthur Schopenhauer (Aphorismen zur Lebensweisheit)
`,
	`Zwei Vertreter treffen sich. Renommiert der eine:  Heute habe ich
einem Bauern eine Melkmaschine verkauft, obwohl der nur eine einzige
Kuh hat.   Na und?  fragt der andere geringschätzig. Darauf der erste:
 Ja, aber du mußt bedenken, ich habe die Kuh als Anzahlung genommen. 
`,
	`Das Ideal mancher Autoren ist offensichtlich eine Literatur ohne
Leser.
		-- Jules Romains
`,
	`Edel sei der Mensch, Milchreis ist gut.
`,
	`Aus Murphy s Gesetze:
Dein eigenes Auto braucht immer mehr Öl und Benzin als das anderer
Leute.
`,
	`Wir haben den Kontakt zur Realität verloren!
`,
	`Warum sind Junggesellen mager und Ehemänner dick?
Der Junggeselle schaut in den Kühlschrank, findet nichts
Besonderes und geht ins Bett. Der Ehemann schaut ins Bett,
findet nichts besonderes und geht an den Kühlschrank!
`,
	`Der Segen der Natur wird vernichtet durch den Segen Roms.
		-- Wilhelm Busch
`,
	`Nur auf dem Boden harter Arbeit bereitet sich normalerweise der
Einfall vor.
		-- Max Weber
`,
	`Je höher die Rechthaberei in einem Menschen steigt, desto seltener hat
er recht, das heißt, desto seltener stimmen seine Aussagen und
Behauptungen mit der Wahrheit überein.
		-- Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi
`,
	`Eine humoristische Stelle glänzt am meisten in einem ernsthaften Buch
zitiert.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Wenn man die Charaktere der Menschen, oder besser, wenn man die
Menschen nach den Charakteren ordnen könnte, welches leicht möglich
wäre, wenn wir mehr Erfahrungen in diesem Stück sammelten, so würde
man die Klassen für die Künstler und Gelehrten leicht merken, und
würde sich alsdann nicht mehr bemühen einem aus dem Genere passerum
sprechen zu lernen, da es ausgemacht ist, daß dieses nur den Picis
zukommt.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Takt ist vor allem die Kunst des Überhörens.
		-- Hans Söhnker
`,
	`Ältere Leute haben oft das Gefühl, sie würden in einem fremden 
Land leben.
		-- Wendelin Schlosser
`,
	`Das Kind hat den Verstand meistens vom Vater, weil die Mutter ihren
noch besitzt.
		-- Adele Sandrock
`,
	`Die höchste Stufe der Vernunft ist, wenn man das im Wesentlichen unterstützt,
was ich für richtig halte.
		-- Gerhard Schröder
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Lore Leyh 
`,
	`Theoretisch sind Theorie und Praxis gleich. Praktisch ist das ganz anders.
`,
	`Zum Spaßmachen gehört auch ein Schuß Demagogie.
		-- Werner Finck
`,
	`Am Abend eines Lebens werden die großen und wichtigen Dinge klarer, so 
wie in der Landschaft die Linien klarer werden. Unsere Waage wird
zuverlässiger und gerechter, und sie wird auch milder. Und milder wird
auch die Trauer um die große Erkenntnis, daß wir aufhören müssen,
Mensch zu sein, gerade in dem Augenblick, in dem wir begonnen haben,
es zu werden.
		-- Ernst Wiechert
`,
	`Der mittelmäßigste Roman ist immer noch besser als die 
mittelmäßigen Leser, ja der schlechteste partizipiert etwas von der 
Vortrefflichkeit des ganzen Genres.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 796
`,
	`Letzte Worte des Bungee-Jumpers:
   Ist das Seil nicht zu lang? 
`,
	`Männer bevorzugen die einfachen Dinge im Leben: Frauen.
`,
	`Debian Tipp #8: Wenn Sie mit Debian Probleme haben, die sie nicht durch lesen
der Handbuchseiten und Dokumentation lösen können, versuchen sie es doch mit
der Debian User Mailingliste (debian-user-german@lists.debian.org).
`,
	`Wer sich vornimmt, Gutes zu wirken, darf nicht erwarten, daß die
Menschen ihm deswegen Steine aus dem Weg räumen, sondern muß auf das
Schicksalhafte gefaßt sein, daß sie ihm welche draufrollen.
		-- Albert Schweitzer
`,
	`Ein Hacker macht einen Fehler nur einmal versehentlich. Dann immer mit Absicht.
`,
	`Steigt Rauch aus meinem Tower, werd  ich lieber Bauer.
`,
	`Am zuverlässigsten unterscheiden sich die einzelnen Fernsehprogramme
noch immer durch ihren Wetterbericht.
		-- Woody Allen (eigentlich: Woody Stewart)
`,
	`Probleme sind Gelegenheiten zu zeigen, was man kann.
		-- Duke Ellington
`,
	`Widersprechen Sie nicht dem, was ich Ihnen niemals gesagt habe.
		-- Johann Georg August Galletti
`,
	`Ist der Begriff  Selbsthilfegruppe  nicht widersinnig?
`,
	`Je mehr wir planen, regeln, reglementieren, desto mehr nimmt das Chaos
zu. Das mußte man einmal einsehen: Das Chaos ist die Ordnung.
		-- Aurel Schmidt
`,
	`Wenn man sich in Kleidern niederlegt, fällt die Melancholie der Nacht
weg.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Handle so, daß die Maxime deines Willens jederzeit zugleich als
Prinzip einer allgemeinen Gesetzgebung gelten könnte.
		-- Immanuel Kant
`,
	`Wer Stabilität aufgibt, um Benutzerfreundlichkeit zu gewinnen,
der wird am Ende beides verlieren.
  -- frei nach B. Franklin
`,
	`Die schwachen Menschen widersetzen sich einem Ent- und Einwurf gegen
ihr Leben am stärksten, aus Bewußtsein ihrer ewigen Nachfolgsamkeit; -
schweigt man darauf, so tun sie, was sie verneinten.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Kein Wort im Evangelium ist in unseren Tagen mehr befolgt worden als
das: Werdet wie die Kindlein.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Was heute noch nicht richtig ist, kann morgen schon fast falsch sein.
`,
	`Wer in sich geht darf sich nicht wundern, wenn er dort niemanden antrifft.
`,
	`Das Wichtigste bleibt jedoch das Gleichzeitige, weil es sich in 
uns am reinsten abspiegelt, wir uns in ihm.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 8
`,
	`Sieht aus wie im Schlaraffenland, ist bloß überall ein Preisschild dran.
`,
	`Der Granit verwittert auch sehr gern in Kugel- und Eiform; man 
hat daher keineswegs nötig, die in Norddeutschland häufig gefundenen 
Blöcke solcher Gestalten wegen als im Wasser hin- und hergeschoben 
und durch Stoßen und Wälzen enteckt und entkantet zu denken.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 941
`,
	`Ein Mensch zeigt nicht eher seinen Charakter, als wenn er von 
einem großen Menschen oder irgend von etwas Außerordentlichem 
spricht. Es ist der rechte Probierstein aufs Kupfer.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 662
`,
	`Kommt  ein  Mann  zum Bäcker und verlangt 6 Brötchen. Sagt der Bäcker:
 Nehmen Sie doch 7, dann haben Sie eins mehr! 

Kommt  der Mann nächsten Tag wieder und verlangt 99 Brötchen. Sagt der
Bäcker:   Nehmen  Sie  doch  100 . Darauf der Mann:  Wer soll denn die
alle essen? 
`,
	`Hallo Datensicherer!
`,
	`Nachdem man in der neueren Zeit die meteorologischen 
Beobachtungen auf den höchsten Grad der Genauigkeit getrieben hatte, 
so will man sie nunmehr aus den nördlichen Gegenden verbannen und 
will sie nur dem Beobachter unter den Tropen zugestehen.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 985
`,
	` Im Frühling und Herbst denkt man nicht leicht ans Kaminfeuer; 
und doch geschieht es, dass, wenn wir zufällig an einem vorbeigehen, 
wir das Gefühl, das es mitteilt, so angenehm finden, dass wir ihm 
wohl nachhängen mögen. Dies möchte mit jeder Versuchung analog sein. 
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 212
`,
	`Es ist leichter zu schmeicheln, als zu loben.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Tu soviel Gutes, wie Du kannst, und mache so wenig Gerede wie nur
möglich darüber.
                -- Charles Dickens
`,
	`Der Bildschirm ist das Präservativ der Realität.
		-- Werner Schneyder
`,
	`Große Talente sind selten, und selten ist es, dass sie sich 
selbst erkennen; nun aber hat kräftiges, unbewusstes Handeln und 
Sinnen so höchst erfreuliche als unerfreuliche Folgen, und in solchem 
Konflikt schwindet ein bedeutendes Leben vorüber. Hievon ergeben sich 
in Medwins  Unterhaltungen  so merkwürdige als traurige Beispiele.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 397
`,
	`Die Mutter der Dummen ist immer schwanger.
		-- Afghanisches Sprichwort
`,
	`Alle Frauen sind Meister des geflüsterten Wunschzettels.
		-- Heinz Rühmann
`,
	`Letzte Worte eines Sportschützen:
   So, jetzt noch nachstopfen. 
`,
	`Stärke wächst nicht aus körperlicher Kraft -
vielmehr aus unbeugsamen Willen.
		-- Mahatma Gandhi
`,
	`Um einen Freund zu finden, muß man ein Auge schließen,
um ihn zu halten zwei.
		-- Norman Douglas
`,
	`Nächstenliebe findet man zum Beispiel bei Menschen, die
Dienstvorschriften nicht einhalten.
		-- Ezra Pound
`,
	`Wenn mich einer  Sysop  nennt, schmeiß ich ihn gleich wieder zur Tür
raus. Ich laß mich doch nicht von jedem dahergelaufenen DAU beleidigen.

PS: Die korrekte Anrede ist latürnich  Herr Datenrat . :-)
		-- Ulli  Framstag  Horlacher
`,
	`Aschhorn, das
  Jeder Gegenstand, an dem ein Raucher gewohnheitsmäßig seine Pfeife
  ausklopft.
		-- Douglas Adams, John Lloyd, Sven Böttcher ( Der tiefere Sinn des Labenz )
`,
	`Die Zeitung ist die Konserve der Zeit.
		-- Karl Kraus
`,
	`Kluge Leute merken die Absicht.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (Hermann und Dorothea)
`,
	`Die einzige Voraussetzung für den Triumph des Bösen ist, daß gute
Menschen nichts tun.
		-- Edmund Burke
`,
	`Man könnte zum Scherze sagen, der Mensch sei ganz aus Fehlern 
zusammengesetzt, wovon einige der Gesellschaft nützlich, andre 
schädlich, einige brauchbar, einige unbrauchbar gefunden werden. Von 
jenen spricht man Gutes: Nennt sie Tugenden; von diesen Böses: Nennt 
die Fehler.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 639
`,
	`Wenn Microsoft Autos bauen würde ...
würden sie ohne erkennbaren Grund zweimal am Tag einen Unfall haben.
`,
	`In der Ehe schämt man sich mehr, der Gattin die geistige Liebe zu
offenbaren als die körperliche; vor der Ehe natürlich umgekehrt.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	` Was schneidest du denn da aus der Zeitung aus?  will der Wirt von
seinem Stammgast wissen.  
 Den Artikel über den Mann, der seine Frau umgebracht hat, weil sie
ständig seine Anzugstaschen durchsucht hat. 
 Und wozu brauchst du den Artikel? 
 Um ihn in meine Anzugstasche zu stecken. 
`,
	`Ehemals sah man im Bewusstsein des Menschen, im  Geist , den Beweis
seiner höheren Abkunft, seiner Göttlichkeit; um den Menschen zu
vollenden, rieth man ihm an, nach der Art der Schildkröte, die Sinne
in sich hineinzuziehn, den Verkehr mit dem Irdischen einzustellen, die
sterbliche Hülle abzuthun: dann blieb die Hauptsache von ihm zurück,
der  reine Geist .  Wir haben uns auch hierüber besser besonnen: das
Bewusstwerden, der  Geist , gilt uns gerade als Symptom einer
relativen Unvollkommenheit des Organismus, als ein Versuchen, Tasten,
Fehlgreifen, als eine Mühsal, bei der unnöthig viel Nervenkraft
verbraucht wird, - wir leugnen, daß irgend Etwas vollkommen gemacht
werden kann, so lange es noch bewusst gemacht wird. Der  reine Geist 
ist eine reine Dummheit: rechnen wir das Nervensystem und die Sinne
ab, die  sterbliche Hülle , so verrechnen wir uns - weiter nichts! ...
		-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
`,
	`Lärm ist ein geeignetes Mittel, die Stimme des Gewissens zu übertönen.
		-- Pearl Sydenstricker Buck (Pseudonym: Sedges, John)
`,
	`Letzte Worte eines Bombenentschärfers:
   Ich nehm  den roten Draht. 
`,
	`Was man erfindet, tut man mit Liebe, was man gelernt hat, mit 
Sicherheit.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1068
`,
	`Lache, und die Welt wird mit dir lachen. Schnarche, und du wirst
alleine schlafen.
		-- Anthony Burgess
`,
	`Autobiographen sind Enthüllungen das schlechte Gedächtnis ihrer
Verfasser.
		-- Alessandro Blasetti
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  I. K. Russ 
`,
	`Wenn du s jemanden nicht ins Gesicht sagen willst,
sag s hinter seinem Rücken.
`,
	`F: Wie erschießt man einen Blauen Elefanten?
A: Mit einem Gewehr für blaue Elefanten.

F: Wie erschießt man einen roten Elefanten?
A: Man malt ihn blau an und erschießt ihn mit dem blauen
   Elefantengewehr.

F: Wie erschießt man einen grünen Elefanten?
A: Man bewirft ihn mit Tomaten, bis er rot ist, malt ihn blau an, und
   erschießt ihn mit dem blauen Elefantengewehr.

F: Wie erschießt man einen gelben Elefanten?
A: Man wälzt ihn in Gras, bis er grün wird, bewirft ihn mit Tomaten,
   bis er rot ist, malt ihn blau an und erschießt ihn mit dem blauen
   Elefantengewehr.

F: Wie erschießt man einen Lila Elefanten?
A: Lila Elefanten gibt es doch gar nicht!
`,
	`Praxis ist: Wenn alles funktioniert und keiner weiß warum!
`,
	`Wann verläßt ein Zuschauer schon einmal das Kino und wurde in seiner
Seele angerührt?
		-- Heinz Rühmann
`,
	`  Der Papagei

Es war einmal ein Papagei,
der war beim Schöpfungsakt dabei
und lernte gleich am rechten Ort
des ersten Menschen erstes Wort.

Des Menschen erstes Wort war A
und hieß fast alles, was er sah,
z.B. Fisch, z. B. Brot,
z.B. Leben oder Tod.

Erst nach Jahrhunderten voll Schnee
erfand der Mensch zum A das B
und dann das L und dann das Q
und schließlich noch das Z dazu.

Gedachter Papagei indem
ward älter als Methusalem,
bewahrend treu in Brust und Schnabel
die erste menschliche Vokabel.

Zum Schlusse starb auch er am Zips.
Doch heut noch steht sein Bild in Gips,
geschmückt mit einem grünen A,
im Staatsschatz zu Ekbatana.

		-- Christian Morgenstern
`,
	`Mit wahrhaft Gleichgesinnten kann man sich auf die Länge nicht 
entzweien, man findet sich immer wieder einmal zusammen; mit 
eigentlich Widergesinnten versucht man umsonst Einigkeit zu halten, 
es bricht immer wieder einmal auseinander.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 587
`,
	`Bei einer Frau die eine Brille trägt ist die Neugier größer als die Eitelkeit!
`,
	`Kenntnisse kann jeder haben, aber die Kunst zu denken ist das
seltenste Geschenk der Natur.
		-- Friedrich II. der Große
`,
	`Edel sei der Mensch, milchreich die Kuh.
`,
	`An Jesus kommt keiner vorbei. - Außer Karl-Heinz Rummenigge!
`,
	`Die Zehn Gebote Gottes sind deshalb so eindeutig weil sie nicht erst auf
einer Konferenz beschlossen wurden.
		-- Konrad Adenauer
`,
	`Viele verwechseln einen schlechten Ruf mit Berühmtheit und fallen
lieber durch Untugenden und Torheiten auf als gar nicht.
		-- Harry S. Truman
`,
	`Das Telefon klingelt.
Meier:    Meier. 
Anrufer:  Sind sie der Meier, der heute Nachmittag meine Tochter vorm
          Ertrinken gerettet hat, weil sie beim Schlittschuh fahren ins Eis
          eingebrochen ist? 
Meier:    Ja genau, der bin ich! 
Anrufer:  UND WO IST DIE MÜTZE??? 
`,
	`Man gebe mir sechs Zeilen, geschrieben von dem redlichsten Menschen,
und ich werde darin etwas finden, um ihn aufhängen zu lassen.
		-- Armand Jean du Plessis, Herzog von Richelieu

`,
	`Leute, die selber Zwiebeln essen, können nicht gut beurteilen, ob
andere Zwiebeln gegessen haben oder nicht.
		-- Thornton Niven Wilder
`,
	`Die Religion ist das Gefühl der schlechthinnigen Abhängigkeit.
		-- Friedrich Schleiermacher
`,
	`In England ist alles erlaubt, was nicht verboten ist.
In Deutschland ist alles verboten, was nicht erlaubt ist.
In Frankreich ist alles erlaubt, auch wenn s verboten ist.
In Rußland ist alles verboten, auch wenn s erlaubt ist.
`,
	`Wenn Microsoft Autos bauen würde ...
würden die Motoren von einer Firma hergestellt, die mit Microsoft im
Kartell steht. Der neueste Motor hätte 16 Zylinder,
Mehrpunkt-Benzineinspritzung und 4 Turbolader, aber es wäre möglich,
alte Auspuffteile anderer Hersteller daran zu montieren. Es gäbe einen
ProII-Motor mit Motor größeren Turbos, aber er würde auf den meisten
Straßen langsamer laufen.
`,
	`Nec tempora perde precando! - Verliere keine Zeit durch Beten!
		-- Ovid (43 v.Chr.-18 n.Chr)
`,
	`Leidenschaftlich spricht der Redner:
Wer war weiser als Sokrates, geistvoller als Goethe und schöner als
Apollo?
Eine Stimme aus dem Hintergrund:
Der erste Mann meiner Frau.
`,
	`Was man mündlich ausspricht, muss der Gegenwart, dem Augenblick 
gewidmet sein; was man schreibt, widme man der Ferne, der Folge.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 585
`,
	`In einer Kneipe sagt ein Stammgast zum Wirt:  Du Kurt, Deine
Frikadellen schmecken ja richtig gut. Habt Ihr das Rezept geändert? 
Darauf der Wirt:  Nein, wir benutzen nur wieder das alte Rezept. Seit
Brötchen über 40 Pfennig kosten, können wir wieder Fleisch nehmen... 
`,
	`Erst bei den Enkeln ist man dann so weit, daß man die Kinder ungefähr
verstehen kann.
		-- Erich Kästner
`,
	`Streite nie im Ernst, es könnte spaßig werden!
`,
	`Am leichtesten lernst du einen Menschen kennen, wenn du ihn tadelst,
oder - da der andere Weg offner steht - wenigstens in geringerem
Grade, wenn du ihn lobst.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Die verborgene Quelle des Humors ist nicht Freude, sondern Kummer.
		-- Mark Twain (eigl. Samuel Langhorne Clemens)
`,
	`Ethik kann so wenig zur Tugend verhelfen, als eine vollständige
Ästhetik lehren kann, Kunstwerke hervorzubringen.
		-- Arthur Schopenhauer
`,
	`Große Talente sind selten, und selten ist es, dass sie sich 
selbst erkennen; nun aber hat kräftiges, unbewusstes Handeln und 
Sinnen so höchst erfreuliche als unerfreuliche Folgen, und in solchem 
Konflikt schwindet ein bedeutendes Leben vorüber. Hievon ergeben sich 
in Medwins  Unterhaltungen  so merkwürdige als traurige Beispiele.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 397
`,
	`Was ist das Allgemeine?
Der einzelne Fall.
Was ist das Besondere?
Millionen Fälle.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 875
`,
	`Wußten Sie schon...
... daß man die Segel erst streichen sollte, wenn der Rest
    des Schiffes schon angemalt ist?
`,
	`Man sieht es manchen Damen noch jetzt an,
daß sie einmal recht häßlich gewesensein mögen.
		-- Heinz Erhardt
`,
	`Luther erschütterte Deutschland - aber Francis Drake beruhigte es
wieder: Er gab uns die Kartoffel.
		-- Heinrich Heine
`,
	`Nur die Sache ist verloren, die man aufgibt.
		-- Ernst Freiherr von Feuchtersleben
`,
	`Funktionieren Windows 98-Witze auch unter Windows 2000 oder braucht
man da ein Update?
`,
	`Küssen ist die angenehmste Methode, einer Frau das Maul zu stopfen.
`,
	`Was in der Jugend ein Abenteuer war, wird in späteren Jahren nur 
noch ein teurer Abend.
		-- Fritz Joachim Raddatz
`,
	`Niemals ist man weniger allein, als wenn man mit sich allein ist.
		-- Fred Astaire
`,
	`Höre geduldig den an, der mit dir spricht, und beeile dich nicht, ihn
zu unterbrechen. Man fängt keine Unterhaltung mit Antworten an.
		-- Schehersad (Tausend und Eine Nacht)
`,
	`Die Kirche hat den Menschen ein größeres Maß unverdienten Leids
zugefügt als irgendeine andere Religion.
		-- William E. H. Lecky
`,
	`Die beste Krankheit kann eine gute Gesundheit nicht ersetzen.
`,
	`Abalemma, das 
  Die lähmende Situation, in der man nur noch eine einzige Möglichkeit
  hat, diese jedoch nicht wahrnehmen kann.
		-- Douglas Adams, John Lloyd, Sven Böttcher ( Der tiefere Sinn des Labenz )
`,
	`KAPITALISTISCHE BEWEISMETHODE:
 Eine Gewinnmaximierung tritt ein, wenn wir gar nichts beweisen,
dann verbrauchen wir nämlich am wenigsten Kreide. 
`,
	`Das Genie mit Großsinn sucht seinem Jahrhundert vorzueilen; das 
Talent aus Eigensinn möchte es oft zurückhalten.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 765
`,
	`Im Zug sitzt eine alte Dame. Ihr gegenüber sitzt ein Amerikaner und kaut
die ganze Zeit Kaugummi. Die alte Dame blickt ihm lange angestrengt ins
Gesicht. Dann gibt sie es auf:
 Es ist ja lieb von ihnen, daß sie mich so nett unterhalten. Aber es
hat keinen Sinn, ich bin schwerhörig. 
`,
	`Shakespeares trefflichsten Theaterstücken mangelt es hie und da 
an Fazilität; sie sind etwas mehr, als sie sein sollten, und eben 
deshalb deuten sie auf den großen Dichter.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 496
`,
	`Ordnung und Unordnung kann man lernen, es ist Gewohnheit.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`  Die Vogelscheuche

Die Raben rufen:  Krah, krah, krah!
Wer steht denn da, wer steht denn da?
Wir fürchten uns nicht, wir fürchten uns nicht
vor dir mit deinem Brillengesicht.

Wir wissen ja ganz genau,
du bist nicht Mann, du bist nicht Frau.
Du kannst ja nicht zwei Schritte gehn
und bleibst bei Wind und Wetter stehn.

Du bist ja nur ein bloßer Stock,
mit Stiefeln, Hosen, Hut und Rock.
Krah, krah, krah! 

		-- Christian Morgenstern
`,
	`In der Schule der Welt wie in der Schule der Liebe muß man alsbald
mit der Ausübung dessen, was man zu lernen gedenkt, den Anfang machen.
		-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
`,
	`Nimmt man das Vaterland an den Schuhsohlen mit?
		-- Georges Jacques Danton
`,
	`Man hat einen Menschen noch lange nicht bekehrt, wenn man ihn zum
Schweigen gebracht hat.
		-- Christopher D. Morley
`,
	`Das Recht des Stärkeren ist das stärkste Unrecht.
		-- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
`,
	`Der Streß von heute ist die gute alte Zeit von morgen.
`,
	`Lieber einen Hering im Mund, als den Geruch vor der Nase.
`,
	`Wir leiden alle am Leben.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
`,
	`Polizist bei der Festnahme des Pantomimen:
 Sie haben das Recht zu schweigen. 
`,
	`Die Asiaten haben den Weltmarkt mit unlauteren Methoden erobert: sie
arbeiten während der Arbeitszeit.
		-- Ephraim Kishon (alias Ferenc Hoffmann)
`,
	`Es ist leichter, ganz zu schweigen, als sich im Reden mäßigen.
		-- Thomas von Kempen
`,
	`Vorsicht ist die Einstellung, die das Leben sicher macht, aber selten
glücklich.
		-- Samuel Johnson
`,
	`Laß das Vergangene vergangen sein!
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
`,
	`Der Junkhändler verkauft nicht sein Produkt an den Konsumenten, er
verkauft den Konsumenten, an sein Produkt.
		-- William Seward Burroughs
`,
	`Vom Wahrsagen läßt sich wohl leben, aber nicht vom Wahrheit sagen.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Die Gräslein können den Acker nicht begreifen, aus dem sie sprießen.
		-- Hildegard von Bingen (Wisse die Wege)
`,
	`Die Ehe ist eine lebenslange Doppelhaft ohne Bewährung.
		-- Jean-Paul Sartre
`,
	`Absurdität: Eine Meinungsäußerung, die der eigenen Ansicht offenkundig
widerspricht.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Erfolge nehmen alle in Anspruch, Mißerfolge werden einem einzigen
zugeschrieben.
		-- Publius Cornelius Tacitus (55-120)
`,
	`Es wohnt ein Wind in Leningrad,
der pustet kalt,
wer da nicht einen Mantel hat,
der hustet bald.
		-- Heinz Erhardt
`,
	`Freiheit bedeutet lediglich, daß du nichts mehr zu verlieren hast.
		-- Janis Joplin
`,
	`Jeder wird wider Willen originell, der sich s bequem macht und nach
dem Scheine nichts fragt.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Umwege erweitern die Ortskenntnisse.
`,
	`Nichts wird so oft unwiederbringlich versäumt wie eine Gelegenheit.
		-- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
`,
	`Gut honorierte zornige junge Männer haben große Mühe, zornige junge
Männer zu bleiben.
		-- Malcolm Muggeridge
`,
	`Letzte Worte eines Crewmitgliedes auf der Estonia:
   Hier ist schlechte Luft. Ich mach mal die Klappe auf. 
`,
	`Richter:  Ich spreche Sie hiermit frei von der Anklage, sie hätten die
10.000 DM gestohlen. 
Angeklagter:  Prima. Darf ich das Geld dann behalten? 
`,
	`Beamte wurden nicht aus echtem Holz geschnitzt - denn Holz arbeitet.
`,
	` Könnte man Zeit wie bares Geld beiseite legen, ohne sie zu 
benutzen, so wäre dies eine Art von Entschuldigung für den Müßiggang 
der halben Welt - aber keine völlige; denn es wäre ein Haushalt, wo 
man von dem Hauptstamm lebte, ohne sich um die Interessen zu bemühen. 
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 164
`,
	`Auf der untersten Sprosse der Erfolgsleiter ist die Unfallgefahr am
geringsten.
		-- Rupert Schützbach
`,
	`Das ist aber was Xiges. Und ich bin doch was consoliges ... :(
		-- Sven Paulus in de.alt.sysadmin.recovery
`,
	`Computerbenutzer werden in drei Klassen aufgeteilt: Anfänger,
Fortgeschrittene, Experten.
Anfänger: Leute, die Angst haben, daß ein einfacher Tastendruck
          ihren Computer zerstören kann.
Fortgeschrittene: Leute, die nicht wissen, wie sie ihren Computer
          reparieren können, nachdem sie gerade die Taste
          gedrückt haben, der ihn zerstört hat.
Experten: Leute, die die Computer anderer zerstören.
`,
	`Leider wurde in der Mail nicht das ganze Ausmaß der potentiellen Bedrohung
skizziert: Man denke nur an Folgendes: Kind spielt mit Konqui und hat eine
Hautkontaktallergie für Plüsch. Daraufhin gibt es eine Hautrötung, das Kind
fängt an zu krakeelen und brüllt seine Mitkindergartenkinder an. Diese bekommen
einen Stresszustandschock und werden plötzlich automatisch völlig Anti-Linux
eingesetllt. Die terrorisieren daraufhin ihre Eltern so lange, endlich
Kartoffelknülch auch auf Windows zu portieren, daß alle sich von Freier Software
abwenden. Dieses alles vor Augen plant eine komibinerte KDE- und GNOME-Taskforce,
dieses zu verhindern und mit einem Anschlag von vernussten Schokoriegeln
Allergieschocks auszulösen. Die erbosten Eltern erkennen rechtzeitig dieses
perfide Vorgehen und rüsten eine Gegen-Miliz aus. Es kommt zu Straßenkämpfen und
Autoblockaden in der Karlsruher Innenstadt. Das Dorint wird komplett verwüstet
und verklagt uns auf 2 Mrd. US$ Schadensersatz. Daraufhin verklagt SCO/Caldera
das Dorint auf 4 Mrd. US$ Schadensersatz, wegen Patentverletzung auf Klagen über
2 Mrd. US$.  Die deutsch-amerikanischen Beziehungen werden noch nachhaltiger
gestört. Die Bundesregierung, die Karlsruher IHK, die LUG Kiel und Amnesty
International intervenieren und fordern als Konsequenz Freie Software komplett zu
verbieten, OpenBSD erklärt den Endsieg über alle freien Unices und TCPA wird als
Schulfach in der dritten Klasse eingeführt. DRM wird als Folge verpflichtend als
Chip in den Hypothalamus implantiert und unumgehbar implementiert. Derweil hat
sich das Core-Team längst am denkmalgeschützten Schornstein der Gartenhalle
hochgehangelt, wo bereits der Rescue-Heli (oder -Hubi) wartet.
Glücklicherweise hat bis heute Kambodia kein Auslieferungsabkommen mit
anderen Staaten für politisch verfolgte Software-Flüchtlinge und wir genießen
mit Cuba-Libres am Strand unseren Lebensabend. Mit Wave-LAN und DSL.

Ich finde, wir sollten den Kindergarten machen.
		-- Nils Magnus (Diskussion über Kinderecke auf LT)
`,
	`Wenn der Storch auf dem Kamin hockt, dann bald darauf der Abzug bockt.
`,
	`Ein Kuß ist Mund-zu-Mund-Beatmung ohne medizinischen Anlaß.
		-- Joachim Fuchsberger
`,
	`Meine Geburt ist der einzige Event in diesem Jahrtausend, von dem ich
wirklich jeden Tag was hab. Nein, ich freu mich, daß es mich gibt.
		-- Erwin Pelzig
`,
	`Man bewahrt immer die Merkmale seiner Abstammung.
(frz.: On garde toujours la marque de ses origines.)
		-- Ernest Renan (Das Leben Jesu)
`,
	`Das hat der liebe Gott nicht gut gemacht. Allen Dingen hat er Grenzen
gesetzt, nur nicht der Dummheit.
		-- Konrad Adenauer
`,
	`Aus der Schulzeit sind mir nur die Bildungslücken in Erinnerung
geblieben.
		-- Oskar Kokoschka
`,
	`Der Mensch, der sich vielen Glückes und seiner Schwäche bewußt ist,
wird abergläubisch, flüchtet zum Gebet.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
(Vermischte Schriften - Beobachtung über den Menschen)
`,
	`Die Griechen nannten Entelecheia ein Wesen, das immer in 
Funktion ist.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1333
`,
	`Der geringste Mensch kann komplett sein, wenn er sich innerhalb 
der Grenzen seiner Fähigkeit und Fertigkeiten bewegt; aber selbst 
schöne Vorzüge werden verdunkelt, aufgehoben und vernichtet, wenn 
jenes unerlässlich geforderte Ebenmaß abgeht. Dieses Unheil wird sich 
in der neuern Zeit noch öfter hervortun; denn wer wird wohl den 
Forderungen einer durchaus gesteigerten Gegenwart, und zwar in 
schnellster Bewegung, genugtun können?
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 46
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Jim Beam 
`,
	`Wir arbeiten um der Arbeit willen, weil uns das Talent zum Glück
fehlt.
		-- Friedrich Sieburg
`,
	`Die Gebührenreform der Telekom ist gar nicht so schlecht, wie sie
denken. Sie ist noch viel schlechter.
		-- Oliver Kalkofe
`,
	`Wo die Franzosen des achtzehnten Jahrhunderts zerstörend sind, 
ist Wieland neckend.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 155
`,
	`Vertraue keinem Kostenplan, von dem Du keinen Quellcode
(detaillierte Aufstellung) bekommst.
		-- Michael Uhlemann
`,
	`Du weißt nicht was wirkliches Glück ist, bis Du verheiratet bist.
Doch dann ist es zu spät.
`,
	`Was in der Jugend ein Abenteuer war, wird in späteren Jahren nur 
noch ein teurer Abend.
		-- Fritz Joachim Raddatz
`,
	`Es ist ein Fehler in unsern Erziehungen, daß wir gewisse Wissen-
schaften so früh anfangen, sie verwachsen sozusagen in unsern
Verstand, und der Weg zum Neuen wird gehemmt. Es wäre die Frage ob
sich die Seelenkräfte nicht stärken ließen ohne sie auf eine
Wissenschaft anzuwenden.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Schwarz-gelb ist eine Warnfarbe.
		-- Otto Schily
`,
	`Intelligenz ist, die Realität zu verändern, nicht sie niederzureißen
und aus den Stücken zu rekonstruieren.
		-- Jean Baudrillard
`,
	`Zum Christentum wird man nicht geboren, man muß dazu nur krank genug
sein.
		-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
`,
	`Nur wer früh seine Seele weit auszuspannen gelernt hat, vermag später
die ganze Welt in sich zu fassen.
		-- Stefan Zweig
`,
	`Es ist natürlich richtig, daß es nur ein ULO war, ein Unknown Light
Object. Doch trotz des fachsimplerisch richtigen Einwands ist der
Bezug zum UFO nicht gerade unwahrscheinlich, denn ein UFO ist ja oft
genug auch ein ULO und wenn ein UFO gerade nicht fliegt, dann wäre es
in diesem Moment ja ein ULO.
  -- aus einer Ufo-Newsgroup
`,
	`Was mögen dieses wohl für verborgene Gesetze und Wege sein, durch
welche die Natur die Triebe in dem nämlichen Tier abändert und ihn
seine vorige vergessen macht. Das Hühnchen kriecht unter seine Glucke.
Es wird endlich selbst eine Glucke und kriecht nicht mehr unter,
sondern läßt unter sich kriechen. Bei allen Tieren ist der äußere
Zustand ihres Körpers und die Veränderung der sinnlichen Werkzeuge
derselben allzeit eine Funktion ihrer Handlungen und ihrer Lebensart.
Bei dem Menschen ist dieses zwar auch wahr, allein indem eine der
veränderlichen Größen zunimmt, kann die andere abnehmen und umgekehrt.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Einander kennenlernen heißt lernen, wie fremd man einander ist.
		-- Christian Morgenstern
`,
	`Dem Kapitalismus wohnt ein Laster inne: Die Verteilung der Güter. Dem
Sozialismus hingegen wohnt eine Tugend inne: Die gleichmäßige
Verteilung des Elends.
		-- Winston Spencer Churchill
`,
	`Das Schmollen ist eigentlich das Aufprotzen der weiblichen Artillerie;
wer bereits öfter beschossen wurde, fühlt sich schon versucht, bei der
bloßen Veranstaltung die weiße Fahne auszustrecken.
		-- Graf Christian Ernst von Bentzel-Sternau
`,
	`Wußten Sie schon...
... daß es wahrscheinlicher ist, von einem Sektkorken erschlagen zu
werden als am Biß einer Giftspinne zu sterben?
`,
	`Auf einer Party trägt der am meisten zur Unterhaltung bei, der nicht da ist.
`,
	`Jagt Elefanten Bauers Kater, muß das Vieh bald zum Psychiater.
`,
	`Wer beim Schreiben viele Ausrufezeichen verwendet, spricht auch sehr
laut.
		-- Heimito von Doderer (Pseudonym: Stangeler, Reneé)
`,
	`Kein Wunder, das uneheliche Kinder gemeiniglich die besten Köpfe
sind;sie sind die Folge einer geistreichen Stunde, die ehelichen oft
der Langeweile.
		-- Theodor Gottlieb von Hippel
`,
	`Wie anders ist das Los eines Helden oder Kollegiumsmenschen oder
Fürsten, welcher seine schönsten Ideale nur mit fremden Beihülfen
erreichen kann, gegen den Dichter und Weltweisen, der nur eigne
braucht. Ein Held ist in ewigem Doppelzank mit außen.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Skepsis ist wie die Opposition im Parlament. Sie ist ebenso wohltätig
wie notwendig.
		-- Arthur Schopenhauer
`,
	`Ein Augenblick der Geduld kann vor großem Unheil bewahren, ein
Augenblick der Ungeduld ein ganzes Leben zerstören.
`,
	`Der Tod ist eine unveränderliche Größe, allein der Schmerz ist eine
veränderliche, die unendlich wachsen kann. Dieses ist ein Satz, den
die Verteidiger der Folter zugeben müssen, denn sonst foltern sie
vergeblich, allein in vielen wird der Schmerz ein Größtes und kleiner
als der Tod.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Frauen sind nicht etwa die besseren Menschen, sie hatten bisher nur
nicht soviel Gelegenheit, sich die Hände schmutzig zu machen.
		-- Alice Schwarzer
`,
	`Der eigene Hund macht keinen Lärm - er bellt nur.
		-- Kurt Tucholsky
`,
	`Die Orakel haben nicht sowohl aufgehört zu reden als vielmehr die
Menschen ihnen zuzuhören.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Das erste steht uns frei, beim zweiten sind wir Knechte.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
`,
	`  Der Sperling und das Känguruh

In seinem Zaun das Känguruh -
es hockt und guckt dem Sperling zu.

Der Sperling sitzt auf dem Gebäude -
doch ohne sonderliche Freude.

Vielmehr, er fühlt, den Kopf geduckt,
wie ihn das Känguruh beguckt.

Der Sperling sträubt den Federflaus -
die Sache ist auch gar zu kraus.

Ihm ist, als ob er kaum noch säße.
Wenn nun das Känguruh ihn fräße?!

Doch dieses dreht nach einer Stunde
den Kopf aus irgend einem Grunde,

vielleicht auch ohne tiefern Sinn,
nach einer andern Richtung hin.

		-- Christian Morgenstern
`,
	`Vieles kann ich ertragen. Die meisten beschwerlichen Dinge duld  ich
mit ruhigem Mut, wie es ein Gott mir gebeut. Wenige sind mir jedoch
wie Gift und Schlange zuwider; viere: Rauch des Tabaks, Wanzen,
Knoblauch und das Kreuz!
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
`,
	`Das Gefährliche an Halbwahrheiten ist, daß immer die falsche Hälfte
geglaubt wird.
		-- Hans Krailsheimer
`,
	`F: Was ist grün und steht am Straßenrand?
A: Eine Frostituierte!
`,
	`*Kino*

In der Schlüsselszene des Films  Casablanca  gibt Humphrey Bogart seiner
Vermieterin  die Appartement-Schlüssel zurück. Dabei spricht er einen
Satz, der für Millionen von Kino-Fans zum kultischen Ereignis werden
sollte.

Frage: Wie lautet dieser Satz?

a) Ich klau  dir gleich die Pflaumen, Kleines!
b) Ich kaue gleich am Daumen, meiniges!
c) Ich hau  dir auf die Augen, Kleines!
d) Ich schau dir in die Ohren, Kleines!
e) Hau mir auf die Augen, Kleines!
`,
	`Leute, die auf Rosen gebettet sind, verraten sich dadurch, daß sie
immerzu über die Dornen jammern.
		-- Françoise Sagan
`,
	`Wer bloß bürgerliche Steigerungen seines Glücks hat, muß immer
größ(eres) wünschen; der Dichter etc. hat gleich das unendliche Glück
vor sich.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Viel läßt sich von einem Mann erraten, wenn man ihn das einem andern
erzählen hört, was man mit ihm selbst erlebte als Augenzeuge.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Windows: Das einzige Betriebssystem, bei dem man  Start  anklicken
muß, wenn ausgeschaltet werden soll.
`,
	`Letzte Worte eines Chemikers:
   Laß das Reagenzglas bitte in _Ruhe_ stehen. 
`,
	`Wenn Microsoft Autos bauen würde ...
würde Sun ein Auto bauen, das mit Solarstrom läuft, 2x verläßlicher als
das MS-Auto ist, 5x schneller als das MS-Auto - jedoch nur auf 5% der
Straßen fahrbar.
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Klaus Uhr 
`,
	`Wer ein Theater füllen will, bedient sich der Dramaturgie. Um es zu
leeren genügt Ideologie.
		-- Oliver Hassencamp
`,
	`Ein unverheirateter Mann ist unvollständig,
ein verheirateter Mann ist völlig fertig.
`,
	`Leistung allein genügt nicht. Man muß auch jemanden finden, der sie
anerkennt.
		-- Marcel Mart
`,
	`Du bist! du bist! sagt Lavater. Du bist!!
Du bist!! du bist!!!! du bist, Herr Jesus Christ!!!!
Er wiederholte nicht so heftig Wort und Lehre,
wenn es ganz just mit dieser Sache wäre.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
(Auf Lavaters Lied eines Christen an Christus geschrieben)
`,
	`Wohl dem, der seiner Väter gern gedenkt.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (Iphigenie)
`,
	`Wen jemand lobt, dem stellt er sich gleich.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 151
`,
	`Die sonderbare Empfindung, die ich habe, wenn mit einem spitzigen
Instrument gegen die Augen zu fahre?
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Debian Tipp #20: Wollen Sie den Überblick behalten, welche Version einen
Paketes Sie installiert haben (insbesondere auf gemischten stable / testing /
unstable Systemen)? Schauen Sie sich doch mal apt-show-versions an.
`,
	`Der Ursprung, ja das eigentliche Wesen der Religion ist der Wunsch.
Hätte der Mensch keine Wünsche, so hätte er auch keine Götter. Was der
Mensch sein möchte, aber nicht ist, dazu macht er seinen Gott.
		-- Ludwig Feuerbach
`,
	`Ein Ehepaar beim Brillekauf für ihn:
Optikerin: Ist Ihr Mann kurzsichtig oder weitsichtig?
Sie: Uneinsichtig.
`,
	`Viel von sich reden, kann auch ein Mittel sein, sich zu verbergen.
		-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (Jenseits)
`,
	`Warum überquerte das Huhn die Straße?
Richard M. Nixon:
  Das Huhn hat die Straße nicht überquert. Ich wiederhole, das Huhn
  hat die Straße NICHT überquert.
`,
	`Der hauptsächliche Wert der gemeinen Religion besteht heutzutage
darin, dem Menschen die Erkenntnis seiner vollkommenen
Bedeutungslosigkeit zu ersparen.
		-- Karl Heinrich Waggerl (Aphorismen)
`,
	`Die Schnecke baut ihr Haus nicht, sondern es wächst ihr aus dem Leib.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Eine fortschrittliche Frau fortgeschrittenen Alters kann keine Macht
der Welt im Zaum halten.
		-- Dorothy L. Sayers
`,
	`Bestimmte Quellen können wir nur erschließen, wenn wir allein sind.
		-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
`,
	`Will der Bauer schnell was löten, wird er wohl den Chip bald töten.
`,
	`Mancher erzielt durch geschickte Anwendung seiner mittelmäßigen
Fähigkeiten eher Achtung und Ansehen als ein anderer durch wahre
Leistung.
		-- François de La Rochefoucauld (Reflexionen)
`,
	`Wer keine Ahnung hat, hat auch keine Meinung.
		-- Joseph  Joschka  Fischer
`,
	`Jeder Mensch hat seine Lieblingsausdrücke, das Schöne zu loben.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Die Arbeit gleicht manchmal dem Angeln in Gewässern, in denen noch nie
Fische gewesen sind.
		-- Jules Renard
`,
	`Die Weltgeschichte ist die Summe dessen, was vermeidbar gewesen wäre
		-- Bertrand A. W. Russell
`,
	`Werbung: Der Versuch, das Denkvermögen des Menschen so lange außer
Takt zu setzen, bis er genügend Geld ausgegeben hat.
		-- Ambrose Gwinnet Bierce (Des Teufels Wörterbuch)
`,
	`Amerikaner werden mißtrauisch, wenn man nicht einer von ihnen werden
will - im Gegensatz zu Franzosen, Engländern, Schweden und den meisten
anderen Völkern, die es gerade mißtrauisch macht, wenn man zu ihnen
gehören möchte.
		-- Billy Wilder
`,
	`So blöd wie du bin ich schon lange.
`,
	`Was man vergißt, hat man im Grunde nicht erlebt.
		-- Ernst R. Hauschka
`,
	`Die Welt zerfällt in die, die das Unglaubliche glauben, und die die
das Unwahrscheinliche tun.
		-- Lord Illingworth
`,
	`Leitfaden durch die Phraseologie wissenschaftlicher Veröffentlichungen:
Englisch:
  Preliminary experiments showed that
Deutsch:
  Wir hoffen, daß
`,
	`Heute kann man ja noch nicht einmal mehr eine AOL-CD aus dem Fenster
werfen, ohne jemanden zu erschlagen, der gerade einen SUSE Karton nach
Hause schleppt.
		-- dasr
`,
	`Zweifel ist keine angenehme Voraussetzung, aber Gewißheit ist eine
absurde.
		-- François Marie Voltaire
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Pit Muster 
`,
	`Waschen allein genügt nicht, man muß auch ab und zu das Wasser wechseln.
`,
	`Erfahrung heißt gar nichts. Man kann seine Sache auch 35 Jahre
schlecht machen.
		-- Kurt Tucholsky
`,
	`Religion ist das als eine Lebensnotwendigkeit tief empfundene Gefühl
der Abhängigkeit.
		-- Karl Gutzkow
`,
	`Früher schauten die Schriftsteller durch das Fenster in den Salon,
jetzt schauen sie durch das Schlüsselloch in das Schlafzimmer.
		-- John Ernst Steinbeck
`,
	`Hallo Dünnbrettbohrer!
`,
	`Eine wahrscheinliche Unmöglichkeit ist immer einer wenig überzeugenden
Möglichkeit vorzuziehen.
		-- Aristoteles, 384-322 v. Chr.
`,
	`Lieber hungrig als die Schnauze voll.
`,
	`Das Leben ist ein langer Weg. Meistens ist er aus Holz.
`,
	`Es gibt Menschen, die nur lesen, um nicht denken zu müssen.
`,
	`Ein Porschefahrer ist mit seinem Auto gegen einen Baum gefahren.
Da kommt ein anderer, hält an und sagt dem Porschefahrer:
 Hey, du dein Arm ist ab! 
Doch der Porschefahrer jammert:  Mein Porsche, mein Porsche. 
 Hey, du dein Arm ist ab!  sagt der andere.
Doch der Porschefahrer jammert wieder  Mein Porsche, mein Porsche. 
Sagt der andere wieder  Hey, du dein Arm ist ab! 
Daraufhin sagt der Porschefahrer  Meine Rolex, meine Rolex. 
`,
	`Der Mensch schneidet nicht seine Handlungen und Neigungen nach seinen
Grundsätzen, sondern diese nach jenen zu, und die Neigung ist eher als
die Maxime da. Der Mann nach und der ohne Grundsätze sind nur darin
verschieden, daß jener seine Neigung in e(inen) allgemeinen Satz
verdolmetscht.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Nicht überall, wo Wasser ist, sind Frösche; aber wo man Frösche 
hört, ist Wasser.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 236
`,
	`Unter Politik verstehen manche Leute die Kunst, Brände zu löschen, die
sie selbst gelegt haben.
		-- Lawrence George Durrell
`,
	`Es gab Zeiten, da man die Sklaven legal kaufen mußte.
		-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (eig. S. J. de Tusch-Letz)
`,
	`Ist man einmal aus dem rechten Gesichtspunkte (Fokus) eines Menschen
gekommen: so werden, zumal in der Ehe, gerade Strahlen seine Flecken -
z.B. Festigkeit gegen Freunde und Fremde und dann wieder
Nachgiebigkeit sonst, beide Dinge werden so abgeleitet, daß eines
Egoismus heißt, das andere Schlaffheit.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Stehkneipen sind so beliebt, weil der Alkohol hier das beste Gefälle 
hat.
		-- Jürgen von Manger
`,
	`Feiglinge sind Leute, die mit den Füßen nachdenken.
		-- Jerry Lewis
`,
	`Der Frieden kann bei uns nicht ausbrechen, weil er viel zu gut gesichert ist.
`,
	`Irren ist menschlich, aber um die Sache richtig ekelhaft zu machen
benötigt man einen Computer.
`,
	`An Kindern sieht man am öftersten und stärksten, wie wenig die
Vorstellung der Zukunft über anreizende Gegenwart siegt.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Sorgen ertrinken nicht in Alkohol, sie können schwimmen.
		-- Heinz Rühmann
`,
	`Nur der Mensch ist frei, der sich seine eigenen Gedanken im Kopf
ausbildet, niemand etwas nachspricht, was er nicht versteht oder
selber einsieht; der die Gesetze kennt, die Gott in seine Brust
geschrieben hat, und ohne Menschenfurcht ihnen gerecht zu we
		-- Berthold Auerbach
`,
	`Friede: Die Epoche des Betrügens zwischen zwei Epochen des
Kriegführens.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
`,
	`Bei jeder neuen Lage fängt man eine neue Jugend an, man verjüngt sich,
wenn man sich verändert. Ein Konrektor ist älter als ein Rektor, der
er wird.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Ein Mensch kann sich nicht frei nennen, wenn seine Freiheit auf der
Unterdrückung anderer beruht.
		-- Juan Carlos I.
`,
	`Es ist aber in der Welt so eingerichtet, daß die dämlichsten
Sprichworte recht behalten.
		-- Alfred Döblin
`,
	`Nicht überall, wo Wasser ist, sind Frösche; aber wo man Frösche 
hört, ist Wasser.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 236
`,
	`     Die unmögliche Tatsache
Palmström, etwas schon an Jahren,
wird an einer Straßenbeuge
und von einem Kraftfahrzeuge
überfahren.
   Wie war  (spricht er, sich erhebend
  und entschlossen weiterlebend)
   möglich, wie dies Unglück, ja -:
  daß es überhaupt geschah?
Ist die Staatskunst anzuklagen
in bezug auf Kraftfahrwagen?
Gab die Polizeivorschrift
hier dem Fahrer freie Trift?
  Oder war vielmehr verboten,
  hier Lebendige zu Toten
  umzuwandeln, - kurz und schlicht:
  Durfte hier der Kutscher nicht -? 
Eingehüllt in feuchte Tücher,
prüft er die Gesetzesbücher
und ist alsobald im klaren:
Wagen durften dort nicht fahren!
  Und er kommt zu dem Ergebnis:
   Nur ein Traum war das Erlebnis.
  Weil , so schließt er messerscharf,
   nicht sein kann, was nicht sein darf. 
    -- Christian Morgenstern
`,
	`Ersparnis der Erfahrung
   Sündflut der Erfahrung,
   Dinge, wovon man nicht reden würde, wenn man
   wüsste, wovon die Rede ist.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1337
`,
	`Die Mutter der Ausschweifung ist nicht die Freude, sondern die
Freudlosigkeit.
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
`,
	`Taktlosigkeit ist der lästigste und widerwärtigste der menschlichen
Fehler, denn du kannst dich nicht gegen sie verteidigen, nicht einmal
durch Grobheit.
		-- Anselm Feuerbach
`,
	`Selbstmord ist die ehrlichste Form von Selbstkritik.
`,
	`Der Mensch lebt nicht vom Brot allein, es muß auch was drauf sein.
`,
	`Bei Rot bleiben wir stehen, bei Grün fahren wir weiter, und Schwarz
ist sowieso besser.
		-- Helmut Kohl
`,
	`So treulos auch die Frauen gegen Männer scheinen, so sind sie es doch
mehr gegen Frauen. - Keine ist gegen die andre ehrlich (auf Kosten der
Männer und ihrer). - Kurz, sie wissen doch zu schweigen.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Wir wissen zwar nicht wo wir hinwollen, wollen aber als Erste da sein.
`,
	`Nichts ist einfacher als beschäftigt zu sein, doch nichts ist schwerer
als effektiv zu sein.
		-- R. Alec Mackenzie
`,
	`10E12  Mikrophone = 1 Megaphon
10E-6 Fisch = 1 Mikrofiche
10E21 Picolos = 1 Gigolo
10 Rationen = 1 Dekoration
3 1/3 Tridents = 1 Dekadent
10 Monologe = 5 Dialoge 
2 Monogramme = 1 Diagramm
`,
	`Die Afghanen sind ein sehr gebirgiges Volk.
`,
	`Die dümmsten Hähne haben die dicksten Eier.
		-- Winfried Bornemann
`,
	`Alle petzen in der Schule, nur nicht Paul, der hält das Maul.
`,
	`Ausgezeichnete Personen sind daher übler dran als andere: Da man 
sich mit ihnen nicht vergleicht, passt man ihnen auf.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 234
`,
	`Mit wahrhaft Gleichgesinnten kann man sich auf die Länge nicht 
entzweien, man findet sich immer wieder einmal zusammen; mit 
eigentlich Widergesinnten versucht man umsonst Einigkeit zu halten, 
es bricht immer wieder einmal auseinander.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 587
`,
	`Ich mache nie Voraussagen und werde das auch niemals tun.
		-- Paul Gascoigne
`,
	`Zivildienstleistender:
  tötet nicht mit der Waffe, sondern mit Essen auf Rädern.
`,
	`Im dänischen Munkebo sprengen drei Einbrecher den Safe einer Bank.
Dabei stürzt das Bankgebäude ein, der Safe bleibt heil.
`,
	`Die Tugend des andern fühlen und ehren seine Untergebnen am meisten,
weil sie sie beglückt - seine Gleichen und Obern nicht, weil sie ihnen
widersteht.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Die Deutschen der alten Zeit freute nichts, als dass keiner dem 
andern gehorchen durfte.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 737
`,
	` Macht der BUND gleichgültig?  -  Is mir doch egal! 
`,
	`Der Schein bestimmt das Bewußtsein.
`,
	`Hierauf haben wir unsern Takt zu üben, sonst laufen wir Gefahr, 
auf dem Weg, worauf wir uns die Gunst der Menschen erwarben, sie ganz 
unversehens wieder zu verscherzen. Das begreift man wohl im Lauf des 
Lebens von selbst, aber erst nach bezahltem teuren Lehrgeld, das man 
leider seinen Nachkommenden nicht ersparen kann.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 55
`,
	`Besonderes Vergnügen, sich mit Personen, die man liebt, über 
Dinge zu erklären und weitläufig zu sein, Empfinden rege zu machen, 
wenn man gleich weiß, dass, was man sagt, nicht wahr ist.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1291
`,
	`Hallo Frauennamenannehmer!
`,
	`Sobald man das Nicht-reden-wollen ausspricht, tut man es ja doch.
		-- Freddy Leitner
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  R. Schossen 
`,
	`Ein Mathematiker, ein Physiker und ein Informatiker werden jeder einzeln
in einen Raum voller Konservendosen gesperrt (ohne Dosenöffner, versteht
sich).

Nach drei Wochen wird der Raum mit dem Informatiker geöffnet. Er ist
völlig verdreckt, die Wände kleben voller Essensreste, dutzende
verbeulte und aufgeplatzte Dosen liegen in den Ecken - der Informatiker
hatte überlebt, indem er die Dosen einfach solange gegen die Wand
geschmissen hat, bis sie geplatzt sind.

Der Raum mit dem Physiker wird geöffnet. Der Raum ist relativ sauber, der
Physiker auch. Die Wände sind mit Formeln beschrieben und nur an einer
Raumecke sind ein paar Kratzer an der Wand. Der Physiker hat einfach exakt
die notwendigen Winkel, Kräfteverhältnisse und Luftwiderstands-Beiwerte
errechnet, die nötig waren, damit der Deckel der Dose sich löst, wenn
man diese an eine bestimmte Stelle der Wand wirft.

Der letzte Raum wird geöffnet. Der Mathematiker liegt verhungert in der
Ecke, alle Dosen sind zu. Der Raum ist über und über mit Formeln
übersäht. Ganz unten neben dem verwesten Leichnam findet man dann neben
der letzten Berechnung:

     Annahme: Wenn ich die Dose nicht öffnen kann,
              werde ich verhungern.
     Beweis:  Angenommen, es gelte das Gegenteil ... 
`,
	`Ein großer Mann gleicht einem Adler; je höher er sich aufschwingt,
desto schwieriger ist er zu erkennen, und so muß er seine Größe mit
der Einsamkeit seiner Seele bezahlen.
		-- Stendhal (Über die Liebe)
`,
	`Durch übermäßiges Lob wird der Autor nicht für übermäßigen Tadel
entschädigt. Jenes nimmt das halbe Vergnügen (und gibt weniger als
gerechtes Lob) durch die Unvollkommenheit des Lobredners und durch die
Erinnerung an die gelobten Vorzüge, deren man eben entbehrt.
Überm(äßiger) Tadel verwundet 1) durch Nachsprechen 2) fremde
Unvollkommenheit 3) eigne Geneigtheit, ihm zu glauben 4) Gefühl der
Beleidigung.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`  Nach Norden

Palmström ist nervös geworden;
darum schläft er jetzt nach Norden.

Denn nach Osten, Westen, Süden
schlafen, heißt das Herz ermüden.

(Wenn man nämlich in Europen
lebt, nicht südlich in den Tropen.)

Solches steht bei zwei Gelehrten,
die auch Dickens schon bekehrten -

und erklärt sich aus dem steten
Magnetismus des Planeten.

Palmström also heilt sich örtlich,
nimmt sein Bett und stellt es nördlich.

Und im Traum, in einigen Fällen,
hört er den Polarfuchs bellen.

		-- Christian Morgenstern
`,
	`Jede Aussage, die Sie hier lesen, kann gegen Sie verwendet werden.
`,
	`Dialog ist nur ein anderer Soundeffekt.
		-- Alfred Hitchcock
`,
	`Jeder hat Grund, den Beginn des neuen Jahres zu feiern. Er hat ja das
alte überlebt.
		-- Lothar Schmidt
`,
	`Ein Blitz sollte sich schämen, im Blitzableiter zu enden.
		-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (eig. S. J. de Tusch-Letz)
`,
	`Eine Religion nach der anderen löscht aus, aber der religiöse Sinn,
der sie alle schuf, kann der Menschheit nicht getötet werden.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Nicht alles was hinkt ist ein Vergleich.
`,
	`Hallo Beilagenesser!
`,
	`>| X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.73 [en] (Win98; I)
Wie sollst Du auch verstehen können?
		-- Stefan Scholl in dasr
`,
	`Wie wechseln 100 Windows-Anwender eine kaputte Glühbirne?
Einer schraubt und 99 klicken die Fehlermeldungen weg.
`,
	`Die Menge fragt bei einer jeden neuen bedeutenden Erscheinung, 
was sie nutze, und sie hat nicht Unrecht; denn sie kann bloß durch 
den Nutzen den Wert einer Sache gewahr werden.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 831
`,
	` Ich kündige meinem Chauffeur , tobt der Direktor,  er hat mich schon
dreimal in Lebensgefahr gebracht! 
 Aber Heinz , meint seine Frau,  gib ihm doch noch eine Chance... 
`,
	`Politik bedeutet Steuern zu erheben, die man selbst nicht zahlt.
`,
	`Warum überquerte das Huhn die Straße?
Freud:
  Die Tatsache, daß Sie sich überhaupt mit der Frage beschäftigen, daß
  das Huhn die Straße überquerte, offenbart Ihre unterschwellige
  sexuelle Unsicherheit.
`,
	`Der Mensch: ein durch die Zensur gerutschter Affe.
		-- Gabriel Laub
`,
	`Mailand oder Madrid - Hauptsache Italien!
		-- Andreas Möller
`,
	`Können Sie Mir sagen, wo die andere Straßenseite ist?
Ja da drüben. Komisch, die schicken mich immer hierüber...
`,
	`F: Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einem Wasserfall?
A: Je höher desto Platsch.
`,
	`Bedächtige Reden führen stets zum klügsten Ziel.
		-- Euripides (580-406 v. Chr.)
`,
	`Ist mein Fleisch willig, kann Dein Geist noch so schwach sein.
`,
	`Die Geschäftsleute bedenken nicht, daß Akten, vom lateinischen Acta
hergeleitet, so viel heißt als Getanes, und daß also darin keineswegs
eingeheftet werden dürfe, was man tun werde oder wolle.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (an Zelter, 1811)
`,
	`Von jeder Sache gibt es zwei einander widersprechende Auffassungen.
		-- Protagoras
`,
	`Shakespeare ist für aufkeimende Talente gefährlich zu lesen; er 
nötigt sie, ihn zu reproduzieren, und sie bilden sich ein, sich 
selbst zu produzieren.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1256
`,
	`Die kleinsten Sünder tun die größte Buße.
		-- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
`,
	`Die Menge kann tüchtige Menschen nicht entbehren, und die 
Tüchtigen sind ihnen jederzeit zur Last.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 319
`,
	`Warum überquerte das Huhn die Straße?
Albert Einstein:
  Ob das Huhn die Straße überquert hat oder die Straße sich unter dem
  Huhn bewegte, hängt von Ihrem Referenzrahmen ab.
`,
	`Schwindeln wir ein wenig zugunsten der wahren Wahrheit.
		-- Paul Kornfeld
`,
	`Der Pöbel achtet Pedanten.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Wird das Geschaute und Erlebte in der Sprache der Logik nachgebildet,
so treiben wir Wissenschaft, wird es durch Formen vermittelt, so
treiben wir Kunst.
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	`Ich mag Philosophen nicht, die das Haar auf fremden Köpfen spalten.
Noch dazu mit einem Beil.
		-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (eig. S. J. de Tusch-Letz)
`,
	`Der afrikanische Löwe wächst bis zum zehnten Jahre, und von da an wird er immer größer.
		-- Johann Georg August Galletti
`,
	`Können wir uns mal unter 1213 Augen unterhalten? (Sagte der Gnom zum
Insektenkrieger)
`,
	`Was uns am Leben erhält, kann uns auch krank machen.
		-- Hippokrates
`,
	`Was man Motive nennt, sind also eigentlich Phänomene des 
Menschengeistes, die sich wiederholt haben und wiederholen werden, 
und die der Dichter nur als historische nachweist.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1268
`,
	`Was gegen die Natur ist, das ist gegen Gott.
		-- Christian Friedrich Hebbel
`,
	`Beim Jauche-Fahr n vergeht der Spaß, fällt das Toupet in s Jauchefaß.
`,
	`Alles wird teuerer, nur die Ausreden werden immer billiger.
		-- Hans-Joachim Rauschenbach
`,
	`F: Warum ist es gefährlich, zwischen 2 und 4 im Dschungel zu sein?
A: Um diese Zeit springen die Elefanten aus den Bäumen.

F: Warum ist um 9 Uhr Sperrstunde im Dschungel?
A: Damit Elefanten das aus-den-Bäumen-springen üben können.

F: Warum sind Krokodile so flach?
A: Sie kümmern sich nicht um die Sperrstunde.
`,
	`Herrschen lernt sich leicht, regieren schwer.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 732
`,
	`Wenn Microsoft Autos bauen würde ...
würde der Tachometer 70 anzeigen, auch wenn 40 km/h die tatsächliche
Geschwindigkeit ist.
`,
	`Denn jeder lenkt alles gemäß seinem Affekt.
		-- Baruch de Spinoza (Ethik)
`,
	`Man muss nicht fürchten, überstimmt zu werden, wenn uns 
widersprochen wird.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1293
`,
	`Zu großes Ansehen ist für die geistige Gesundheit nicht gut.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`Es ist kein Zufall, daß immer da, wo der Geist als eine Gefahr
angesehen wird, als erstes die Bücher verboten, die Zeitungen und
Zeitschriften, Rundfunkmeldungen einer strengen Zensur ausgeliefert
werden; zwischen den Zeilen, auf dieser winzigen Schlußlinie des
Druckers, kann man Dynamit genug anhäufen, um Welten in die Luft zu
sprengen.
		-- Heinrich Böll,  Billard um halbzehn 
`,
	`Ein beschränkter, ehrlicher Mensch sieht oft die Schelmerei der 
feinsten Mächler (faiseurs) durch und durch.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 316
`,
	`Man soll an der Natur nicht verzweifeln: Vielleicht entwickelt sie aus
dem Känguruh noch den Fußgänger des einundzwanzigsten Jahrhunderts.
		-- Jaques Tati
`,
	`Nehmen wir sodann das bedeutende Wort vor: Erkenne dich selbst, 
so müssen wir es nicht im asketischen Sinne auslegen. Es ist 
keineswegs die Heautognosie unserer modernen Hypochondristen, 
Humoristen und Heautontimorumenen damit gemeint; sondern es heißt 
ganz einfach: Gib einigermaßen acht auf dich selbst, nimm Notiz von 
dir selbst, damit du gewahr werdest, wie du zu deinesgleichen und der 
Welt zu stehen kommst. Hiezu bedarf es keiner psychologischen 
Quälereien: Jeder tüchtige Mensch weiß und erfährt, was es heißen 
soll; es ist ein guter Rat, der einem jeden praktisch zum größten 
Vorteil gedeiht.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 124
`,
	`Wenn ich aber suche, mir vorstellig zu machen, daß ich vor einem
individuellen Wesen stände, zu dem ich sagte:  Mein Schöpfer! Ich bin
einst nichts gewesen: du aber hast mich hervorgebracht, so daß ich
jetzt etwas und zwar ich bin;  - und dazu noch:  ich danke dir für
diese Wohlthat;  - und am Ende gar:  Wenn ich nichts getaugt habe, so
ist das MEINE Schuld;  - so muß ich gestehn, daß in Folge
philosophischer und indischer Studien mein Kopf unfähig geworden ist,
einen solchen Gedanken auszuhalten.
		-- Arthur Schopenhauer (Parerga und Paralipomena II)
`,
	`Stets zu unterscheiden zwischen achtenswert und liebenswert ist ein
Kennzeichen von Beschränktheit: Die großen Seelen lieben von Natur aus
alles, was ihre Achtung verdient.
		-- Luc de Clapiers Vauvenargues (Reflexionen und Maximen)
`,
	`Sich zu Tode zu arbeiten ist die einzige gesellschaftlich anerkannte Form
des Selbstmordes.
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Silly Kohn 
`,
	`Ist der Strom weg - kurz vor m Sichern - hört man des Bauern Nachbarn kichern.
`,
	`Letzte Worte eines Elektriker:
   Wass n das für n Kabel? 
`,
	`Wußten Sie schon...
... daß man die Segel erst streichen sollte, wenn der Rest
    des Schiffes schon angemalt ist?
`,
	`Als Gott die Welt erschuf, da schuf er den Mann und das Weib, nicht
Herrn und Knecht, nicht Juden und Christen, nicht Arme und Reiche.
		-- Ludwig Börne
`,
	`Worte sind die mächtigste Droge, welche die Menschheit benutzt.
		-- Joseph Rudyard Kipling
`,
	`Letzte Worte eines Helden:
   Wieso Hilfe? Es sind doch nur drei 
`,
	`Wer weiß, daß er nichts weiß, ist weise.  Wer darüber hinaus weiß, was
er nicht weiß, kann danach fragen.  Und wer schließlich weiß, wo das
steht, was er nicht weiß, kann es nachschlagen.
`,
	`Kalte Brötchen schmecken warm besser als lecker!
`,
	`Für das Künftige sorgen, muß bei Geschöpfen die das Künftige nicht
kennen sonderbare Einschränkungen leiden. Sich auf sehr viele Fälle
zugleich schicken, wovon oft eine Art die andern zum Teil aufheben
muß, kann von einer vernünftigen Gleichgültigkeit gegen das Zukünftige
wenig unterschieden sein.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Ich habe die Erfahrung gemacht, daß Leute ohne Laster auch sehr
wenige Tugenden haben.
		-- Abraham Lincoln
`,
	`Baunatal (Adj.)
  Umschreibt die Unsicherheit, die ein Mann beim Betrachten eines
  komplett eingerichteten Kinderzimmers empfindet, bevor er seine Frau
  und sein erstes Kind aus der Klinik nach Hause holt.
		-- Douglas Adams, John Lloyd, Sven Böttcher ( Der tiefere Sinn des Labenz )
`,
	`Schauen Sie sich doch an, wer in den großen Produktionsfirmen rumläuft:
Töchter von reichen Eltern. Die kosten wenig, aber dürfen Vorschläge machen -
und das sieht man dann in der Sendung.
		-- Rudi Carrell in HÖRZU.
`,
	`Der Wohlstand beginnt genau dort, wo der Mensch aufhört, mit dem Bauch
zu denken.
		-- Norman Mailer
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Frank Furt 
`,
	`Warum ist Windows98 hardwarefreundlicher als Linux?
Es läßt die Reset-Taste nicht einrosten.
`,
	`Ich bin so müde, daß ein Bein das andere nicht sieht.
		-- Johann Georg August Galletti
`,
	`Urlaub ist wie Fernsehen: Auf das gekonnte Abschalten kommt es an.
		-- Wolfgang Gruner
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Anni Mateur 
`,
	`Endlich weiß ich, was den Menschen vom Tier unterscheidet: Geldsorgen.
		-- Jules Renard
`,
	`Aller höherer Humor fängt damit an, daß man die eigene Person nicht
mehr ernst nimmt.
		-- Hermann Hesse
`,
	`Das Licht/das Gute sind die Löcher im Leichentuch, das über
der Welt liegt.
		-- Benjamin Stramke
`,
	`Bist du wütend, zähl bis vier,
hilft das nicht, dann explodier.
		-- Wilhelm Busch
`,
	`Frauen haben viele Fehler.
Männer haben nur zwei:
alles, was sie sagen
und alles, was sie tun
`,
	`Von wem stammt der Ausspruch: lernen, lernen und nochmals lernen?
Von Lenin.
Ja, aber wann hat er das gesagt?
Na, als er das Zeugnis von Ulbricht gesehen hat!
`,
	`Was ist klein, grün und dreieckig?
Ein kleines, grünes Dreieck.
`,
	`Drei Dinge helfen, die Mühseligkeiten des Lebens zu tragen: Die
Hoffnung, der Schlaf und das Lachen.
		-- Immanuel Kant
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Franz. Billard 
`,
	`Es wäre gut, Bücher zu kaufen, wenn man die Zeit, sie zu lesen,
mitkaufen könnte.
		-- Arthur Schopenhauer
`,
	`Was ist denn das Erfinden? Es ist der Abschluss des Gesuchten.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1069
`,
	`In höhern Ständen wirken die Weiber mehr auf fremde Männer, in
nied(ern) auf eigne.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Keine Frau trägt gerne ein Kleid, das eine andere abgelegt hat. Mit
Männern ist sie nicht so wählerisch.
		-- Françoise Sagan
`,
	`Wenn der Mensch nicht über das nachdenkt, was in ferner Zukunft liegt,
wird er das schon in naher Zukunft bereuen.
		-- Konfuzius (551-479 v. Chr.)
`,
	`Derjenige, der sich mit Einsicht für beschränkt erklärt, ist 
der Vollkommenheit am nächsten.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1034
`,
	`Erfolg steigt nur zu Kopf, wenn dort der erforderliche Hohlraum vorhanden ist.
		-- Manfred Hinrich
`,
	`Der Jesus von Nazareth, der als Messias auftrat, die Sittlichkeit des
Gottesreiches verkündete, das Himmelreich auf Erden gründete und
starb, um seinem Werke die Weihe zu geben, hat nie existiert. Es ist
eine Gestalt, die vom Rationalismus entworfen, vom Liberalismus belebt
und von der modernen Theologie in ein geschichtliches Gewand gekleidet
wurde.
		-- Albert Schweitzer
`,
	`Aus Murphy s Gesetze:
Alle allgemeingültigen Aussagen sind falsch.
`,
	`Wo die Franzosen des achtzehnten Jahrhunderts zerstörend sind, 
ist Wieland neckend.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 155
`,
	`In der Idee leben heißt, das Unmögliche behandeln, als wenn es
möglich wäre.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
`,
	`Die Liebe, deren Gewalt die Jugend empfindet, ziemt nicht dem 
Alten, sowie alles, was Produktivität voraussetzt. Dass diese sich 
mit den Jahren erhält, ist ein seltner Fall.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1275
`,
	`Ein junger Forscher stürzt mit seiner Maschine über unberührtem Urwald ab.
Als er kurze Zeit später zu sich kommt, wie durch ein Wunder unverletzt,
bemerkt er, daß er von einer Horde wilder Buschmänner umgeben ist!
Oh nein, denkt er sich, Jetzt bin ich DRAN!
Doch da hört er eine tiefe Stimme die sagt:
 NEIN, Du bist nicht DRAN, laufe sofort zum Häuptling, entreiße
 ihm den Speer und erstich ihn! 
Gesagt, getan, er rennt zum Häuptling -> zack, zack und ersticht ihn.
Darauf sagt die Stimme:  JETZT BIST DU DRAN! 
`,
	`Man soll den Arzt nicht vor der Rechnung loben.
		-- Winfried Bornemann
`,
	`Mit Schampus, Sekt und etwas Zeit, wird selbst der schmalste Bauer breit.
`,
	`Viren machen auch etwas sinnvolles: z.B. Windows löschen.
`,
	`Sich glücklich fühlen, auch ohne Glück - das ist Glück.
		-- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
`,
	`Wer vor seiner Vergangenheit flieht, verliert immer das Rennen.
		-- Thomas Stearns Eliot
`,
	`Wer nur um Gewinn kämpft, erntet nichts, wofür es sich lohnt zu leben.
		-- Antoine de Saint-Exypery
`,
	`Die Leute, denen man am wenigsten widerspricht, sind entweder die,
welche man am meisten liebt, oder die, welche man am wenigsten achtet.
		-- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
`,
	`Am 4ten Juli 1765 lag ich an einem Tag, wo immer heller Himmel mit
Wolken abwechselte, mit einem Buche auf dem Bette, so daß ich die
Buchstaben ganz deutlich erkennen konnte, auf einmal drehte sich die
Hand, worin ich das Buch hielt, unvermutet, ohne daß ich etwas
verspürte, und weil dadurch mir einiges Licht entzogen wurde, so
schloß ich es müßte eine dicke Wolke vor die Sonne getreten sein, und
alles schien mir düster, da sich doch nichts von Licht in der Stube
verloren hatte. So sind oft unsere Schlüsse beschaffen, wir suchen
Gründe in der Ferne, die oft in uns selbst ganz nahe liegen.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Löste sich doch in jeder italienischen Schule der Schmetterling 
aus der Puppe los!
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1153
`,
	`Eine Idee muß Wirklichkeit werden können, sonst ist sie eine eitle
Seifenblase.
		-- Berthold Auerbach
`,
	`Alle Menschen, die sonst nicht verhindern, wollen nun Aids verhindern.
		-- Werner Schneider
`,
	`Der Utopist sieht das Paradies, der Realist das Paradies plus
Schlange.
		-- Christian Friedrich Hebbel
`,
	`Ich kann mich an allem gewöhnen, nur nicht am Dativ!
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Caspar Puppe 
`,
	`Wenn du lange in einen Abgrund blickst, blickt der Abgrund auch in
dich hinein.
		-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
`,
	`F: Wie erkennt man, daß ein Elefant im Kühlschrank war?
A: Fußabdrücke in der Butter.

F: Wie erkennt man, daß zwei Elefanten im Kühlschrank waren?
A: Zwei verschiedene Fußabdrücke in der Butter.

F: Wie erkennt man, daß drei Elefanten im Kühlschrank sind?
A: Die Tür ist nicht ganz zu.
`,
	`Allgemeines Kausalverhältnis, das der Beobachter aufsucht und 
ähnliche Erscheinungen einer allgemeinen Ursache zuschreibt; an die 
nächste wird selten gedacht.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 360
`,
	`Wir werden nur noch Einzelgespräche führen, damit sich keiner verletzt.
		-- Frank Pagelsdorf
`,
	`Könnte man nicht die Todesstrafe einführen für Leute, die sie
vorschlagen?
		-- Wolfgang Neuss
`,
	`Für die Eitelkeit ist selbst die Pfütze ein wohlgefälliger Spiegel.
		-- Arthur Schopenhauer
`,
	`Wissenschaft ist eine Methode, um Theorien zu überprüfen.
Wenn ich die Vermutung habe, im Kühlschrank könnte Bier sein und
sehe nach, dann betreibe ich Wissenschaft.
Wenn ich behaupte im Kühlschrank ist Bier und sehe nicht nach,
dann bin ich Theologe.
Wenn ich in den Kühlschrank sehe und feststelle, es ist kein Bier
drin und behaupte dennoch, es sei welches drin, dann bin ich
Esoteriker.
		-- Vince Ebert
`,
	`Steuern sind ein erlaubter Fall von Raub.
		-- Thomas von Aquin
`,
	`Lieber entweder, als oder doch.
`,
	`Man muß viel Geschmack haben, um dem seines Zeitalters zu entgehen.
		-- Simon-Theodore Jouffroy
`,
	`Windows zum Kuhfladen:  Hey, ich bin ein Betriebssystem 
Kuhfladen zu Windows:  und ich bin eine Sahnetorte 
`,
	`Lange Rede - Keinen Sinn.
`,
	`Frieden auf Erden - hoffentlich wird es keinen Zaun mehr geben,
von dem man einen Streit brechen kann.
		-- Heinz Erhardt
`,
	`Das Eis macht Flüsse im Winter begehbar und Whiskey im Sommer
trinkbar.
		-- Werner Mitsch
`,
	`Kritiker sind Leute, die ursprünglich Henker werden wollten, diesen
Beruf aber knapp verfehlt haben.
		-- Harald Pinter
`,
	`Unter allen Eigenschaften einer Braut sieht man am wenigsten auf die
größte, ob sie Kinder erziehen kann - und freilich ist sie am
schwersten zu erraten.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Alle sind schon sturzbetrunken, außer Reinhold, der den Wein
holt.
`,
	`Man tadelt den eignen Hund, der an jedem Fremdling aufhüpft, liebt es
aber, wenn es uns geschieht; so hassen wir unsern Schmeichler nicht so
sehr als einen fremden.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Der Affekt gehört immer zur Sinnlichkeit, durch was für einen 
Gegenstand er auch erregt werden möge.
		-- Immanuel Kant
`,
	`Einer kann stets sein Wort halten, seine Vorsätze ausführen und doch
veränderlich sein; er führt nämlich nur die gesagten aus; aber in den
gedachten ist er veränderlich; und niemand weiß es.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Wenn der Bauer Ostern düngt, kann sein, daß es bis Pfingsten stünkt.
`,
	`Die Gefahr des Platzens von Kondomen ist gebannt, wenn man vorher
einige Löcher einsticht.
`,
	`Der Mercedes A erhält eine neue Ausstattung: EIN KIPPFENSTER
Außerdem wird das A um 90 Grad gedreht, damit man es besser nach
dem Umfallen lesen kann.
`,
	`Das Trocken-Naive, das Steif-Wackere, das Ängstlich-Rechtliche 
und womit man ältere deutsche Kunst charakterisieren mag, gehört zu 
jeder früheren, einfacheren Kunstweise. Die alten Venezianer, 
Florentiner usw. haben das alles auch.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1148
`,
	`Ein Schriftsteller ist arriviert, wenn alles, was er schreibt,
gedruckt wird. Ein Schriftsteller ist berühmt, wenn alles, was von ihm
gedruckt wird, gelobt wird.
		-- Gabriel Laub
`,
	`Wer am morgen ein Stunde verliert, muß ihr den ganzen Tag nachlaufen.
		-- Josef Konrad Scheuber
`,
	`Den Bauern packt  ne tiefe Gram, verhält sein Hahn sich monogam.
`,
	`Zum Abschiednehmen just das rechte Wetter.
Grau wie der Himmel steht vor mir die Welt.
		-- Joseph Victor von Scheffel (Lieder Jung Werners)
`,
	`Manche Politiker muß man behandeln wie rohe Eier. Und wie behandelt
man rohe Eier? Man haut sie in die Pfanne.
		-- Dieter Hallervorden
`,
	`Freude beruht auf dem frohen Glauben, daß das Gute überwiegt.
`,
	`Alltag ist nur durch Wunder erträglich.
		-- Max Frisch
`,
	`Sieh zu, daß du ein ehrlicher Mensch wirst, denn damit sorgst du
dafür, daß es einen Schurken weniger auf der Welt gibt.
		-- Thomas Carlyle
`,
	`Man soll es nicht glauben! 168 Österreicher stehen auf der Liste um
von den Sowjets in s All geschossen zu werden. Wenn s nach mir ginge,
kämen noch einige dazu.
		-- Hans Leitinger
`,
	`Ich finde es richtig, daß man zu Beginn einer Jagd die Hasen und
Fasane durch Hörnersignale warnt.
		-- Gustav Heinemann
`,
	`Dies ist ein kleiner Schritt für einen Menschen, aber ein
Riesenschritt für die Menschheit.
		-- Neil Armstrong
`,
	`Pariserinnen sind wahrhaft elegant. Sie bekommen keinen Schreck, 
wenn sie dreißig werden.
		-- Peter Ustinov (Peter Ustinovs geflügelte Worte)
`,
	`Ich habe kaum jemals einen Mathematiker kennengelernt, der in der Lage
war, vernünftige Schlußfolgerungen zu ziehen.
		-- Platon (427-347 v.Chr.)
`,
	`Alle Frauen wollen einen Mann festnageln und wundern sich dann, wenn er
nachher bekloppt ist.
`,
	`Erfüllte Wünsche bedeuten Stillstand. Solange wir leben, müssen wir
unterwegs bleiben.
		-- Heinz Rühmann
`,
	`Mit der Abstraktion beginnt die Gesellschaft - aus der Abstraktion
erstehen die Gesetze, die Künste, die sozialen Interessen und
Ideen. Sie ist der Ruhm und die Geißel der Welt: der Ruhm, weil sie
die Gesellschaft geschaffen hat, die Geißel, weil sie den Menschen
davon abhält, zur Besonderheit zu gelangen, die einer der Wege zum
Unendlichen ist.
		-- Honoré de Balzac (Louis Lambert)
`,
	`Die Welt durch Vernunft dividiert, geht nicht auf.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
`,
	`Der wahre Sieger ist der, der die Niederlage erträgt.
		-- Josef Friedrich Schmidt (Erfinder Mensch-Ärgere-Dich-Nicht)
`,
	`Du kannst einen Elefanten festhalten, wenn er fliehen, aber nicht das
kleinste Haar auf deinem Kopf, wenn es fallen will.
		-- Gerhard Hauptmann
`,
	`Für mich ist ein Unrecht, ein Verbrechen, vor fünfhundert, tausend,
fünfzehnhundert Jahren genauso lebendig und empörend wie ein Unrecht,
ein Verbrechen, das heute geschieht oder erst in tausend, in
fünftausend Jahren.
		-- Karlheinz Deschner
`,
	`Jede Rohheit hat ihren Ursprung in einer Schwäche.
		-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4-65 n.Chr.)
`,
	`Aus Murphy s Gesetze:
Das einzige Backup, das du je brauchst, ist das, für das du keine Zeit
hattest.
`,
	`Winnetou, Old Shatterhand und ein Ostfriese sitzen nachts in der Prärie am
Lagerfeuer.
Plötzlich raschelt es im Gebüsch.
Winnetou steht auf, nimmt sein Gewehr und geht ins Gebüsch. Ein Knall.
Winnetou kommt wieder zurück und setzt sich ans Lagerfeuer.
Ein paar Minuten später wieder ein Rascheln im Gebüsch.
Old Shatterhand steht auf, nimmt sein Gewehr und geht ins Gebüsch.
Ein Knall. Old Shatterhand kommt wieder zurück und setzt sich ans
Lagerfeuer.
Einige Minuten danach wieder ein Rascheln im Gebüsch.
Der Ostfriese steht auf, nimmt sein Gewehr und geht ins Gebüsch. Ein Knall.
Noch ein Knall.
Da sagt Old Shatterhand zu Winnetou:  Siehst du, das hab  ich mir gedacht.
Der Ostfriese tritt zweimal auf die Harke. 
`,
	`Bescheidenheit ist eine Eigenschaft, für die der Mensch bewundert
wird, falls die Leute je von ihm hören sollten.
		-- Edgar Watson Howe
`,
	`Das Klügste, was man tun kann, um sich Ruhe zu verschaffen, daß man
gegen die andern ein wenig unverträglich ist.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (Schriften zur Kunst)
`,
	`§31 Ehegesetz:  Ein Ehegatte kann die Aufhebung der Ehe begehren, wenn
er bei der Eheschließung nicht gewußt hat, daß es sich um eine Eheschließung
handelt. 
		-- recherchiert von Werner Koczwara
`,
	`Es ist mir bei der Kinderfreude zu Weihnachten nicht an der
gegenwärtigen Freude gelegen - so groß und innig sie wegen der noch
eingehüllten Natur auch ist -, sondern an der unvergänglichen,
unzerstörlichen Über- und Zauberfreude künftigen Erinnerns, das nicht
die Gegenstände verschönert (nur entfärbt), sondern die höchsten
Gefühle zum zweiten Mal erhöht und verschönert.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Ist des Traktors Reifen platt, fährt der Bauer nicht gen Stadt.
`,
	`Freiheit kann auch die Freiheit des aufgeknüpften Hemdes vor der
Hinrichtung bedeuten.
		-- Vaclav Havel
`,
	`Es ist der größte Fehler in einem Leben, das man entweder schreibt
oder führt, in der Ferne eine unentwickelte Knoten-Dunkelheit zu sehen
und nicht jetzt gehörig zu entwickeln, sondern mit zugedrückten Augen
zu hoffen, sie gebe sich schon.
		-- Jean Paul (eig. Johann Paul Friedrich Richter)
`,
	`Treffen sich zwei Planeten.  Fragt der eine:  Na, wie geht es?  Der
andere antwortet schwächlich:  Ach, ich fühl mich gar nicht gut.
Ich habe Mensch. 
Darauf tröstet der erste:  Das gibt sich wieder. 
`,
	`Wer das Falsche verteidigen will, hat alle Ursache, leise 
aufzutreten und sich zu einer feinen Lebensart zu bekennen. Wer das 
Recht auf seiner Seite fühlt, muss derb auftreten; ein höfliches 
Recht will gar nichts heißen.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1028
`,
	`Was aus Liebe getan wird, geschieht immer jenseits von Gut und Böse.
		-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
`,
	` Die vernünftige Welt ist als ein großes unsterbliches Individuum 
zu betrachten, das unaufhaltsam das Notwendige bewirkt und dadurch 
sich sogar über das Zufällige zum Herrn macht. 
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 32
`,
	`Klug zu fragen ist schwieriger, als klug zu antworten.
		-- Persische Weisheit
`,
	`Roswitha, diese Pilzsuppe schmeckt aber besonders köstlich,
woher hast Du denn bloß das Rezept? 
 Aus einem Kriminalroman! 
`,
	`Welcher Unterschied, ob wir mit dem abgenommenen Hute einen Halbzirkel
beschreiben oder ihn senkrecht bis zur Brust herunternehmen.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Alle Männer haben nur zwei Dinge im Sinn.
Geld ist das andere.
		-- Jeanne Moreau
`,
	`Es war einmal ein Informatiker, der durch einen Wald lief. Plötzlich
begegnete ihm ein Frosch.  Dieser sagte:  Hallo ich bin eine
verzauberte Prinzessin, küß mich und ich werde Dir jeden Wunsch
erfüllen. 
Der Informatiker ist begeistert, nimmt den Frosch auf und steckt ihn
in die Tasche.  Das kommt diesem schon seltsam vor. Nach einer Weile
fragt der Frosch:
 Hallo, hallo, ich weiß nicht ob Du mich richtig verstanden hast, aber
 ich bin eine verzauberte Prinzessin! Wenn Du mich küßt, verwandele
 ich mich zurück und werde Dir jeden Wunsch erfüllen.    
Der Informatiker nimmt den Frosch aus der Tasche und lächelt, dann
steckt er ihn wieder zurück in seine Tasche. Dem Frosch wird das
langsam zu doof. Nach einer Weile sagt der Frosch erneut:
 Hallo, ich will es Dir noch einmal erklären: Ich bin eine verzauberte
 Prinzessin und werde alles, aber auch alles mit Dir machen, was Du
 willst! Mindestens eine Woche lang. 
Der Informatiker nimmt den Frosch aus seiner Tasche und
lächelt. Danach steckt er den Frosch wieder in seine Tasche. 
Der Frosch ist nun schon richtig sauer und sagt nach einer Weile:
 Also, nun ist es aber genug. Ich habe Dir gesagt, das ich eine
 verzauberte Prinzessin bin und wenn Du mich küßt, wieder
 zurückverwandele. Außerdem würde ich alles, wirklich alles machen was
 Du willst. Mindestens eine Woche lang.  Was ist denn nun los? 
 Also, ich bin Informatiker, für eine Freundin habe ich keine Zeit,
aber ein sprechender Frosch ist cool!  
`,
	`Die Suche nach einem Sündenbock ist die leichteste Jagd.
`,
	`Zur Größe kann man sich aufringen, aufschwingen, aufdulden, aber
nicht - aufblasen.
		-- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
`,
	`Deserteure sind Leute, die sich selbst in die Wüste schicken.
		-- Alfred Andersch
`,
	`Wechselstaben verbuchtelt?
`,
	`Viele ereifern sich über Anschauungen die sie in 20 Jahren haben
werden.
		-- Jean-Paul Sartre
`,
	`Metamorphose im höhern Sinn durch Nehmen und Geben, Gewinnen und 
Verlieren hat schon Dante trefflich geschildert.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 242
`,
	`Daher kommt, dass offenbarte Wahrheiten erst im stillen 
zugestanden werden, sich nach un nach verbreiten, bis dasjenige, was 
man hartnäckig geleugnet hat, endlich als etwas ganz Natürliches 
erscheinen mag.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 967
`,
	`Wer sich darüber Sorgen macht, was seine Freunde von ihm denken, 
wäre erstaunt, wenn er wüßte, wie selten sie es tun.
		-- Unbekannt
`,
	`In einer Konsumgesellschaft gibt es zwangsläufig zwei Arten von Sklaven:
Die Gefangenen der Sucht und die Gefangenen des Neids.
`,
	`Wer die Wahrheit verrät, verrät sich selber. Es ist hier nicht die
Rede vom Lügen, sondern vom Handeln gegen die Überzeugung.
		-- Novalis (eig. Georg Philipp Friedrich Leopold von Hardenberg)
`,
	`Des Menschen Gewissen ist ein unzuverlässiger Richter über Recht und
Unrecht.  Es ist weiter nichts denn der Hund in uns, der, mehr oder
weniger gut abgerichtet, seinem Herrn, dem Gebot der Umgebung, gehorcht.
Es kann, je nach den Umständen, einen guten oder einen schlechten Herrn
haben.  Manchmal kann es einen Herrn haben, der selber ein Schurke ist.
		-- Halldór Kiljan Laxness
`,
	`Hallo Haargelbenutzer!
`,
	`Die Abwesenden sind wie die Toten fern und ohne Gewalt, deswegen man
auch Gutes von ihnen reden soll.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (an Charlotte v. Stein, 9. Nov. 1778)
`,
	`Schicksal der Kirche? Kein Elefant verfault an einem Tag.
		-- Karlheinz Deschner
`,
	`Auf seine Freiheit verzichten heißt auf seine Menschenwürde,
Menschenrechte, selbst auf seine Pflichten verzichten.
		-- Jean Jacques Rousseau
`,
	`Anruf auf dem Flughafen:
 Wie lange dauert ein Flug nach New York? 
 Ein Moment... 
 Danke. 
`,
	`Debian Tipp #7: Sie können das cron-apt Paket benutzen, um nachts automatisch
Updates für installierte Pakete downloaden zu lassen.
`,
	`Die bildende Kunst ist auf das Sichtbare angewiesen, auf die 
äußere Erscheinung des Natürlichen. Das rein Natürliche, insofern es 
sittlich gefällig ist, nennen wir naiv. Naive Gegenstände sind also 
das Gebiet der Kunst, die ein sittlicher Ausdruck des Natürlichen 
sein soll. Gegenstände, die nach beiden Seiten hinweisen, sind die 
günstigsten.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1175
`,
	`Jerry Williams aus Little Rock/Arkansas erhielt 14.500$
Schmerzensgeld und die Heilbehandlungskosten zugesprochen, weil ihn
der Beagle des Nachbarn in den Hintern gebissen hatte. Das
Schmerzensgeld erreichte den geforderten Betrag nicht ganz, weil die
Jury zu der Auffassung gelangte, Mr.Williams hätte nicht über den Zaun
klettern und mehrfach mit seiner Luftpistole auf den Hund schießen
sollen.
		-- Stella-Liebeck-Preis (4. Platz)
`,
	`Gar nicht von sich zu reden ist eine vornehem Heuchelei.
		-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
`,
	`Aufklärung ist der Ausgang des Menschen aus seiner selbstverschuldeten
Unmündigkeit. Unmündigkeit ist das Unvermögen, sich seines Verstandes
ohne Leitung eines anderen zu bedienen. Selbstverschuldet ist diese
Unmündigkeit, wenn die Ursache derselben nicht am Mangel des
Verstandes, sondern der Entschließung und des Mutes liegt, sich seiner
ohne Leitung eines anderen zu bedienen. Sapere aude! Habe Mut, dich
deines Verstandes zu bedienen! ist also der Wahlspruch der Aufklärung!
		-- Immanuel Kant (Was ist Aufklärung 1784)
`,
	`Wer Kollegen hat, braucht keine Feinde.
`,
	`Eine Million Steuerzahler verhalten sich vernünftiger als eine
öffentliche Hand.
		-- Hermann Josef Abs
`,
	`Vegetarier leben nicht länger, sie sehen nur älter aus.
`,
	`Mein Opa war so taub. Ihm ist einmal ein Amboß auf den Fuß gefallen.
Das hat er gar nicht gehört.
`,
	`Der Wunsch ist der Vater des Gedankens.
		-- William Shakespeare (König Heinrich IV.)
`,
	`Fernsehen - das ist nur 20 Prozent Inhalt und 80 Prozent Bild.
		-- Claus Hinrich Casdorff
`,
	`Der größte Sinnengenuß, der gar keine Beimischung von Ekel bei sich
führt, ist, im gesunden Zustande, Ruhe nach der Arbeit.
		-- Immanuel Kant
`,
	`Abschiedsworte müssen kurz sein wie Liebeserklärungen.
		-- Theodor Fontane
`,
	`Die Stücke werden immer länger, die Regisseure scheinen sich immer
mehr selbst verwirklichen zu wollen.
		-- Heinz Rühmann
`,
	`Treffen Einfalt und Gründlichkeit zusammen, entsteht Verwaltung.
		-- Oliver Hassencamp
`,
	`Sicherheitshinweis:
Vorsicht: Dieses Produkt zieht jeden anderen materiellen Gegenstand
des gesamten bekannten Weltraums - unter Einschluß der Produkte
anderer Hersteller - mit einer Kraft proportional dem Massenprodukt
beider Gegenstände und umgekehrt proportional ihrer wechselseitigen
Entfernung an.
`,
	`Ob man jetzt zwei Stunden CNN sieht oder die gleiche Zeit in ein Aquarium
glotzt, ist, was den Informationsgehalt angeht, vollkommen identisch.
		-- Wilfried Spickler
`,
	`Die gleichen Affekte sind bei Mann und Weib doch im Tempo verschieden:
deshalb hören Mann und Weib nicht auf sich mißzuverstehen.
		-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
`,
	`Der Fluß kippt um, die Fische üben bereits Rückenschwimmen.
`,
	`Man kommt in der Ehe am besten aus, wenn man nicht liebt; sowie am
besten, wenn man bloß liebt.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Wie schade, daß so wenig Raum ist zwischen der Zeit, wo man zu jung,
und der wo man zu alt ist!
		-- Charles-Louis de Montesquieu
`,
	`Demut und Gehorsam können auch gefährliche Tugenden sein.
		-- Pater S. J. Bach
`,
	`Warum überquerte das Huhn die Straße?
Albert Einstein:
  Ob das Huhn die Straße überquert hat oder die Straße sich unter dem
  Huhn bewegte, hängt von Ihrem Referenzrahmen ab.
`,
	`Manche können nur fremde Meinungen, nicht ihre eignen berichtigen.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Die Abgeordneten glauben ihre Pflicht schon dann erfüllt zu haben,
wenn sie sich gewählt ausdrücken.
		-- Bert Berkensträter
`,
	`Vati, was heißt  FORMATIERE LAUFWERK C:? 
`,
	`Fernsehen - das ist nur 20 Prozent Inhalt und 80 Prozent Bild.
		-- Claus Hinrich Casdorff
`,
	`Frag keinen Friseur, ob Du einen Haarschnitt brauchst.
		-- Daniel S. Greenberg
`,
	`Viele Menschen hinterlassen Spuren; nur wenige hinterlassen Eindrücke.
		-- Werner Mitsch
`,
	`Dieses weiter auszuführen und vollkommen anschaulich, ja, was 
mehr ist, durchaus praktisch zu machen, würde von wichtigem Belang 
sein. Eine umständliche folgerechte Ausführung aber möchte den Hörern 
übergroße Aufmerksamkeit zumuten.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1194
`,
	`Töte einen Menschen, und du bist ein Mörder.
Töte Millionen, und du bist ein Eroberer.
Töte alle, und du bist Gott.
		-- Edmond Rostand
`,
	`Der Beweis von Heldentum liegt nicht im Gewinnen einer Schlacht,
sondern im Ertragen einer Niederlage.
		-- David Lloyd George
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Axel Schweiß 
`,
	`Wenn man ganz bewußt acht Stunden täglich arbeitet, kann man es dazu
bringen, Chef zu werden und vierzehn Stunden täglich zu arbeiten.
		-- Robert Lee Frost
`,
	`Stilblüten aus Schreiben von Versicherungsnehmern:
Ich brauche keine Lebensversicherung. Ich möchte, daß alle richtig
traurig sind, wenn ich einmal sterbe.
`,
	`Gott, wenn wir hoch stehen, ist alles; stehen wir niedrig, so 
ist er ein Supplement unsrer Armseligkeit.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 622
`,
	`Zweifeln ist Suchen, nicht Ratlosigkeit.
		-- Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Theo Dolith 
`,
	`Je größer die Achtung vor dem Menschenleben wird, desto geringer 
wird die Achtung vor dem Tod.
		-- Edmond & Jules de Goncourt
`,
	`Die verborgene Quelle des Humors ist nicht Freude, sondern Kummer.
		-- Mark Twain (eigl. Samuel Langhorne Clemens)
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Clara Schnaps 
`,
	`Lange Rede - Keinen Sinn.
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Rosi Nenstollen 
`,
	`Eine Religion, wie immer sie auch beschaffen sein möge, wird sich vor
der Lächerlichkeit immer durch  gute Werke  retten.
		-- Henry de Montherlant
`,
	`Die Moral ist immer die letzte Zuflucht der Leute, welche die
Schönheit nicht begreifen.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`Mancher schreibt gleich zwei Bücher auf einmal: das erste und das
letzte.
		-- Mark Twain (eigl. Samuel Langhorne Clemens)
`,
	`Der afrikanische Löwe wächst bis zum zehnten Jahre, und von da an wird er immer größer.
		-- Johann Georg August Galletti
`,
	`Ein Scherz hat oft gefruchtet, wo der Ernst nur Widerstand
hervorzurufen pflegte.
		-- August Graf von Platen-Hallermünde
`,
	`leger
  Modefrage: ist meine Kleidung zulässig oder zu lässig?
`,
	`Gar sehr verzwickt ist diese Welt - mich wundert s daß sie wem gefällt.
		-- Wilhelm Busch
`,
	`Pessimisten sind Leute, die nur ein einziges Instrument blasen:
Trübsal.
		-- Wim Thoelke
`,
	`Computer sind das bislang genialste Produkt der menschlichen Faulheit.
`,
	`Sozialismus ohne Demokratie ist widersinnig und funktioniert nicht
einmal.
		-- Willy Brandt
`,
	`Wer die Spaghetti nicht ehrt, ist die Pizza nicht wert.
`,
	`DIE ENTEN SIND SICHER!
`,
	`Gegen Angriffe kann man sich wehren, gegen Lob ist man machtlos.
		-- Sigmund Freud
`,
	`Nicht weil es schwer ist, wagen wir es nicht, sondern weil wir es
nicht wagen, ist es schwer
		-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4-65 n.Chr.)
`,
	`Unsre schlimmen Taten bleiben uns mehr im Gedächtnis als unsre guten.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	` Der eine Bruder brach Töpfe, der andere Krüge.  Verderbliche 
Wirtschaft!
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 382
`,
	`Man ist niemals zu schwer für seine Größe, aber man ist oft zu klein
für sein Gewicht.
		-- Gert Fröbe
`,
	`Die Moden sind eigentlich nur eingeführte Epidemien.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`Ästhetik:
  ist natürlich nicht die Marotte, Aufgußgetränke zu verspeisen,
  sondern die Moral von Baumanhängseln.
`,
	`Richtig dosierte Faulheit ist ein Stück Lebenskunst.
`,
	`Es ist besser, unvollkommene Entscheidungen durchzuführen, als
beständig nach vollkommenen Entscheidungen zu suchen, die es niemals
geben wird.
		-- Charles de Gaulle
`,
	`Entwicklunghilfe ist, das Geld der Armen der reichen Länder an die Reichen
der armen Länder zu geben.
`,
	`Der Satiriker ist ein Mann, der seines Lebens nicht sicher ist, weil
er die Wahrheit zur Schau trägt.
		-- Christian August Vulpius
`,
	`Man soll nicht in Kirchen gehn, wenn man reine Luft atmen will.
		-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
`,
	`Die mimische Tanzkunst würde eigentlich alle bildenden Künste 
zugrunde richten, und mit Recht. Glücklicherweise ist der Sinnenreiz, 
den sie bewirkt, so flüchtig, und sie muss, um zu reizen, ins 
Übertriebene gehen. Dieses schreckt die übrigen Künstler 
glücklicherweise sogleich ab; doch können sie, wenn sie klug und 
vorsichtig sind, viel dabei lernen.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 517
`,
	`Binde einen Fetzen um einen Stock, halte ihn hoch, und du wirst sehen,
wie viele ihm wie einem Banner folgen werden.
		-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (eig. S. J. de Tusch-Letz)
`,
	`Eure falsche Liebe zur Vergangenheit ist ein Raub an der Zukunft.
		-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
`,
	`Das Lob darf man nicht hinter dem Rücken des Gegenstands ändern, aber
den Tadel.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`F: Warum tragen Elefanten Turnschuhe?
A: Damit es nicht so rummst, wenn sie aus den Bäumen springen.
`,
	`Goethe ist tot, Schiller ist tot, und mir ist auch schon ganz schlecht.
`,
	`Wir Menschen unterscheiden uns doch nur dadurch von den Tieren,
daß wir bessere Ausreden für unsere eigene Jämmerlichkeit haben.
		-- Dieter Nuhr
`,
	`Politik bedeutet Steuern zu erheben, die man selbst nicht zahlt.
`,
	`Wer den Himmel auf Erden sucht, hat im Erdkundeunterricht geschlafen.
		-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
`,
	`Das Schwierige am Diskutieren ist nicht, den eigenen Standpunkt zu
verteidigen, sondern ihn zu kennen.
		-- André Maurois
`,
	`Kein Mensch kann wunschlos glücklich sein, denn das Glück besteht ja
gerade im Wünschen.
		-- Attila Hörbiger
`,
	`Kurzsichtiger Feldwebel:  Stillgestanden! Das gilt auch für den Kleinen da
hinten mit der roten Mütze.  Zaghafter Einwand: Aber, Herr Feldwebel, das
ist doch ein Hydrant!  Feldwebel:  Egal, hier haben auch Akademiker zu
gehorchen! 
`,
	`Die bloße, nackte Wahrheit wird für die meisten Unwahrheit; durch ihr
Kleid wird sie wahrer.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Samen:
  werden vom Samenleiter eingesetzt:
  Arbeit-Samen - fleissig
  Gemein-Samen - superfies
  Grau-Samen - unscheinbar
  Gleich-Samen - Klassenkämpfer (alle ziehen an einem Samenstrang)
  Ein-Samen - versuchen es auf eigene Faust
  Spar-Samen - die Ökonomen unter den Samen
`,
	`Sprich leise und höflich, aber trage stets einen dicken Knüppel bei
dir.
		-- Theodor Roosevelt
`,
	`Manager - Seminar mit 30 Herren aus der mittleren Führungsebene.
Treffen im Tagungshotel am letzten Tag. Der Seminarleiter spricht:
 Meine Herren, zum Schluß wollen wir mal sehen, was Sie so an
Allgemeinbildung drauf haben. Ich nenne jetzt ein paar klassische
Zitate. Sie sagen mir von wem sie stammen, von wann und wo... 
Er beginnt :   
 Vom Eise befreit sind Strom und Bäche... 
Keiner weiß es.  Da meldet sich ganz hinten in der letzten Reihe ein
kleiner Japaner:  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust, Osterspaziergang,
1806 
Die anderen Teilnehmer murmeln anerkennend. Nächste Frage:
 Der Mond ist aufgegangen, die goldnen Sternlein prangen... 
Wieder wie aus der Pistole geschossen der Japaner:
 Matthias Claudius, Abendlied, 1779 
Die anderen Manager schauen peinlich berührt zu Boden.
Der Seminarleiter:
 Fest gemauert in der Erden...  ---
 SCHILLER! , strahlt der Japaner,  Das Lied von der Glocke, 1799 
Jetzt sind die anderen Manager langsam sauer!  In der ersten Reihe murmelt
einer:  Scheißjapaner! 
Wieder kommt die helle Stimme von hinten:  Max Grundig, CeBit, 1982! 
`,
	`Eine geringe Veränderung in der gemeinsten Verknüpfung der Dinge kann
unsere Abstraktion leicht so sehr verwirren, daß man mit leichter Mühe
Taschenspieler-Künste aus den gewöhnlichsten Dingen herauslockt, wenn
man kleine Umstände verändert.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Bei manchen Menschen geht alles schnell zum einen Ohr rein und zum
anderen raus - die haben auch nicht viel dazwischen.
		-- Heinz Erhardt
`,
	`Jede der deutschen Akademien hat eine besondere Gestalt; denn weil in
unserem Vaterlande keine allgemeine Bildung durchdringen kann, so
beharrt jeder Ort auf seiner Art und Weise und treibt seine
charakteristischen Eigenheiten bis auf Letzte.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (Dichtung und Wahrheit)
`,
	`Du hast die Wahl. Du kannst dir Sorgen machen, bis du davon tot
umfällst. Oder du kannst es vorziehen, das bißchen Ungewißheit zu
genießen.
		-- Norman Mailer
`,
	`Wenn Wahlen in diesem Land was nützen würden, wären sie verboten.
`,
	`Ein großer Mensch ist derjenige, der sein Kinderherz nicht verliert.
		-- James Legge
`,
	`Kein Lesen ist der Mühe wert, wenn es nicht unterhält.
		-- William Somerset Maugham
`,
	`Die Menschen neigen zur falschen Auffassung, daß, da sich alle unsere
mechanischen Apparate so flink vorwärts bewegen, auch das Denken
schneller vor sich geht.
		-- Christopher D. Morley
`,
	`Computer sind Genieprothesen.
		-- Dieter Hildebrandt
`,
	`Ich habe gerade Zeit - wo gibt s nicht zu tun?
`,
	`Wenige sind weise genug, fördernden Tadel trügendem Lobe vorzuziehen.
		-- François de La Rochefoucault
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Moni Tor 
`,
	`Um Rekursion zu verstehen, muß man erst Rekursion verstanden haben.
`,
	`Ich interessiere mich für die Zukunft, denn ich werde den rest meines
Lebens mit ihr verbringen.
		-- Milva
`,
	`Beispiele sind die Schwimmbojen der Logik.
		-- Helmar Nahr
`,
	`Schnell verdientes Geld wird auch schnell ausgegeben.
		-- Karin Berwind
`,
	`Letzte Worte eines Bungee-Jumpers:
   Hurraaaaaaaa! 
`,
	`Ich würde dieses intellektuelle Duell ja gerne fortsetzen, aber du bist
ja unbewaffnet.
`,
	`Abenteuerurlaub besteht aus siebzig Prozent Vorfreude und aus dreißig
Prozent Nachsorge.
		-- Alberto Sordi
`,
	`Minister fallen wie Butterbrote: gewöhnlich auf die gute Seite.
		-- Ludwig Börne
`,
	`Von allen, die bis jetzt nach Wahrheit forschten, haben die Mathematiker
allein eine Anzahl Beweise finden können, woraus folgt, daß ihr Gegenstand
der allerleichteste gewesen sein müsse.
		-- René Descartes (1596-1650) 
`,
	`Die das Laster liebenswürdig machen, schätze ich doch höher als die,
welche die Tugend erniedrigen.
		-- Joseph Joubert
`,
	`Füße und Unterarme einer Frau müssen von exhibitionistischer
Schönheit sein.
		-- Salvador Dali
`,
	`Viele ereifern sich über Anschauungen die sie in 20 Jahren haben
werden.
		-- Jean-Paul Sartre
`,
	`Es gibt zwei Arten von Menschen: Die toten und die tödlichen.
		-- Helen Rowland
`,
	`Es ist doch schön, an der Elbe zu wohnen.  Und dann
muß man eine Überschwemmung auch mal in Kauf nehmen.
		-- Inge Meysel
`,
	`Das Greisenalter, das alle zu erreichen wünschen, klagen alle an, wenn
sie es erreicht haben.
		-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 v.Chr.)
`,
	`Wußten Sie schon...
... daß die Zahl der jugendlichen Aussteiger bei uns sehr hoch ist,
vor allem frühmorgens an den Bushaltestellen und Bahnhöfen?
`,
	`Wir wollen uns dessen aber nicht rühmen, daß wir die Ältesten sind,
sondern darauf bedacht sein, stets die Gerechtesten zu sein.
		-- François Marie Voltaire (Die Briefe Amabeds)
`,
	`Früher rasierte man sich, wenn man Beethoven hören wollte, jetzt hört
man Beethoven, wenn man sich rasieren will.
		-- Peter Bamm
`,
	`Frage an Radio Eriwan:  Stimmt es, daß auch Flöhe und Wanzen eine
Revolution machen könnten? 
Antwort:  Im Prinzip ja, denn auch in ihnen fließt das Blut der
Arbeiterklasse.  
`,
	`Früh arbeiten macht nur früh müde.
`,
	`Ein gescheiter Mann muß so gescheit sein, Leute einzustellen, die
viel gescheiter sind als er.
		-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
`,
	`Schweigen ist das einzige Argument, das sich nicht widerlegen läßt.
		-- Christine Brückner
`,
	`Nichts ist leichter, als die Kinder dazu zu erziehen, daß sie
gehorchen, gefallen, aufwarten und alles tun, was Eltern und andere
Erwachsene begehren. Freilich sind dann die Kinder nichts, nicht mehr
als die Eltern. Aber schwerer ist es, Gehorsam und Freiheit zu
vereinigen, die Kraft dazulassen und doch zu lenken und sich selber
einen Gegner der besten Art zu erziehen.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`In den Krieg zu ziehen, auf dem Meer zu fahren und zu heiraten,
soll man niemandem raten.
	-- Spanisches Sprichwort
`,
	`Der Mensch kann nicht leben ohne das sittlich Große, ja, wenn es ihm
entzogen wird, verlangt er danach mit heftigerem Hunger als nach jedem
anderen Ding dieser Erde.
		-- Adalbert Stifter
`,
	`Es bleibt der Gipfel der Liebeskunst, eine schöne Frau in die Arme zu
nehmen, ohne ihr in die Hände zu fallen.
		-- Sacha Guitry (eig. Alexandre Pierre Georges)
`,
	`Je länger man vor der Tür zögert, desto fremder wird man.
		-- Franz Kafka
`,
	`Zank ist Rauch der Liebe.
		-- Ludwig Börne
`,
	`Unbeständigkeit gegen seinen Vorsatz heißet sich selber das Wort
brechen, welches man sowenig wie gegen einen andern darf: da dieselbe
schädliche Folge des Mißtrauens daraus entsteht.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Sicherheitshinweis:
WICHTIGE INFORMATION FÜR DEN KÄUFER: Das gesamte Universum,
einschließlich dieses Produktes, kann eines Tages zu einem unendlich
kleinen Punkt kollabieren. Sollte daraus wiederum ein neues
Universum entstehen, kann die Existenz dieses Produktes darin nicht
garantiert werden.
`,
	`Ich höre das ganze Jahr jedermann anders reden, als ich s meine, 
warum sollt  ich denn auch nicht einmal sagen, wie ich gesinnt bin?
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 674
`,
	`Es gibt keinen besseren Reiseführer als das Scheckbuch.
                -- Heinz Drache
`,
	`Alkohol konserviert alles, ausgenommen Würde und Geheimnisse.
		-- Robert Lembke
`,
	`Setz Dich ruhig in die Nesseln, wer weiß wie lange es die noch gibt.
`,
	`Liebst du das Leben? Dann verschwende keine Zeit, denn daraus ist das
Leben gemacht.
		-- Benjamin Franklin
`,
	` Ihr Mann sieht einfach umwerfend aus in dem neuen Anzug. 
 Das ist kein neuer Anzug, das ist ein neuer Mann! 
`,
	`Beim  Frühstück sagt die Wirtin zum Studenten:  Sieht nach Regen aus! 
Darauf der Student:  Ja, aber man merkt, daß es Kaffee sein soll. 
`,
	`Was hast du uns absurd genannt!
absurd allein ist der Pedant.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (Zahme Xenien)
`,
	`Das beste Mittel gegen Zorn ist Abstand
		-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4-65 n.Chr.)
`,
	`Nicht die Freuden, sondern die Leiden verbergen die Leere des Lebens.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Arbeit: eines der Verfahren, durch das A dem B Eigentum erwirbt.
		-- Ambrose Gwinnet Bierce (Des Teufels Wörterbuch)
`,
	`Nun bist du mit dem Kopf durch die Wand.
Und was wirst du in der Nachbarzelle tun?
		-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (eig. S. J. de Tusch-Letz)
`,
	`Letzte Worte eines Gleisarbeiters:
   Nein, der Zug da fährt auf dem Nebengleis. 
`,
	`Man sagt zu Ochsen  dummer Esel  und umgekehrt.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Oft gehört nichts dazu, den Ehemann zu stillen, der 100 Fehler
vorwirft, als sie alle rein-denkend zuzugestehen.
		-- Jean Paul (eig. Johann Paul Friedrich Richter)
`,
	`Achtung: Führen Sie den folgenden Code nicht aus.
Diese Software verletzt das Patent EP0394160.
http://www.elug.de/projekte/patent-party/patente/EP0394160

echo -ne PROGRESSBAR\\r;for i in  seq 11 ;do sleep 1;echo -n -;done;echo
`,
	`Es ist ebenso absurd zu behaupten, ein Mann könne nicht ständig
dieselbe Frau lieben, wie zu behaupten, ein Geiger brauche mehrere
Geigen, um ein Musikstück zu spielen.
		-- Honoré de Balzac
`,
	`Abfrutt (Adj.)
  Beschreibt den Gesichtsausdruck eines Menschen, der sich gerade ein
  klebriges Pflaster mit Schwung von der Haut gerissen hat, weil er
  glaubte, auf diese Art und Weise werde es nicht so weh tun.
		-- Douglas Adams, John Lloyd, Sven Böttcher ( Der tiefere Sinn des Labenz )
`,
	`Letzte Worte von S. Spielberg bei den Dreharbeiten zum  Weißen Hai :
   Tolles Modell, sieht aus wie echt. 
`,
	`Bei Unvorsichtigkeiten ist nichts gewöhnlicher, als Aussichten 
auf die Möglichkeit eines Auswegs zu suchen.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 288
`,
	`Wer nur um Gewinn kämpft, erntet nichts, wofür es sich lohnt zu leben.
		-- Antoine de Saint-Exypery
`,
	`Nicht der einzelne ändert die Wirklichkeit, die Wirklichkeit wird von
allen verändert.
		-- Friedrich Dürrenmatt
`,
	`Richter:  Wann haben Sie denn gemerkt, daß das Grundstück bewacht war?
Angeklagter:  Als ich die Zähne von dem Dobermann in meinem Hintern
spürte! 
Darauf wendet sich der Richter an den Zeugen und fragt:  Stimmt das,
Herr Dobermann? 
`,
	`Rechtschreibung

Delfine schwimmen schnell und leis
(man schreibt sie mit  ph  - ich weiß;
doch schreibt man ja auch Tele f on,
und das bereits seit langem schon)-
sie schwimmen ( wie gesagt , mit  f )-
sie schwimmen - vorn ihr alter Scheff
(wir schreiben schließlich auch  Schofför )-
sie schwimmen also durch das Meer.

Was heißt durch s  Meer ? - Sogar durch  Meere !
Und manche altgediente Mähre,
wie überhaupt so manches Ferd
(mit  V  wär es total verkehrt)
glaubt, es sei schnell wie ein Delphien!
(Das zweite  e  ist schlecht für ihn.)

Orthogravieh -das sieht man hier-
ist nicht ganz leicht für Mensch und Tier.

  -- Heinz Erhardt
`,
	`Ein Mann kommt zum Arzt und sagte ich habe eine bitte:
 Ich möchte gerne einmal im Leben fühlen und denken wie ein Ostfriese 
Darauf erwidert der Arzt:  Kein Problem da müssen wir aber leider 50%
Ihres Gehirnes amputieren 
Der Patient willigt freudig ein. Nachdem er nach gelungener Operation
aus der Narkose aufwacht teilt Ihm der Arzt mit:  Uns ist leider ein
klitzekleiner Fehler unterlaufen wir haben leider 98% Ihres Gehirnes
amputiert 
 Joa mei... 
`,
	`Autorität, dass nämlich etwas schon einmal geschehen, gesagt 
oder entschieden worden sei, hat großen Wert; aber nur der Pedant 
fordert überall Autorität.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 864
`,
	`Witz des Tages: Habe Suse 6.x installiert, beim booten bricht linux
mit der Fehlermeldung  login  ab. Was mache ich falsch?
`,
	`Es gibt viel zu tun - packen wir s weg.
`,
	`Die Deutschen sind tatenarm und gedankenvoll.
		-- Johann Christian Friedrich Hölderlin
`,
	`Puppe:
  in Sekt n Kind
`,
	`Nur ungewöhnliche Kraft darf nach Ungewöhnlichem streben.
		-- Theodor Körner
`,
	`Je länger man vor der Tür zögert, desto fremder wird man.
		-- Franz Kafka
`,
	`Eine Empfindung die mit Worten ausgedruckt wird, ist allzeit wie Musik
die ich mit Worten beschreibe, die Ausdrücke sind der Sache nicht
homogen genug. Der Dichter, der Mitleiden erregen will, verweist doch
noch den Leser auf eine Malerei und durch diese auf die Sache. Eine
gemalte schöne Gegend reiße augenblicklich hin, da eine besungene erst
im Kopf des Lesers gemalt werden muß. Bei der ersten hat der Zuschauer
nichts mehr mit der Einrichtung zu tun, sondern er schreitet gleichsam
zum Besitz, wünscht sich die Gegend, das gemalte Mädgen, bringt sich
in allerlei Situationen, vergleicht sich mit allerlei Umständen bei
der Sache.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Gewisse Ehen halten nur in der Weise zusammen wie ineinander
verbissene Tiere.
		-- Gerhart Hauptmann
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Ede Petete 
`,
	`Wenn das so weitergeht mit der Technik, wird der Mensch eines Tages
auf sich verzichten können.
`,
	`Glaubt an euch. Wer an sich selbst glaubt überwindet
jegliches Hindernis, das er sich selbst in den Weg stellt.
		-- Benjamin Stramke
`,
	`Gesinnungen aber sind selten liberal, weil die Gesinnung 
unmittelbar aus der Person, ihren nächsten Beziehungen und 
Bedürfnissen hervorgeht.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 356
`,
	`  Die Elster

Ein Bach, mit Namen Elster, rinnt
durch Nacht und Nebel und besinnt
inmitten dieser stillen Handlung
sich seiner einstigen Verwandlung,
die ihm vor mehr als tausend Jahren
von einem Magier widerfahren.

Und wie so Nacht und Nebel weben,
erwacht in ihm das alte Leben,
Er fährt in eine in der Nähe
zufällig eingeschlafene Krähe
und fliegt, dieweil sein Bett verdorrt,
wie dermaleinst als Vogel fort.

		-- Christian Morgenstern
`,
	`Es ist beinahe noch schwerer, gut zu schreiben, als ebensogut zu
reden: denn zu jenem hab ich nicht mehr Zeit als bei diesem, weil gute
Gedanken doch schnell entstehen.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Nur das Zummenwirken von Freiheit und Ordnung, von Vielfalt und
Einheit bringt eine wahre Demokratie oder ein großes Kunstwerk
hervor.
		-- Leonard  Lenny  Bernstein
`,
	`Musik wird störend oft empfunden,
weil stets sie mit Geräusch verbunden.
		-- Wilhelm Busch
`,
	`Versuche nie, Ärger in Alkohol zu ertränken. Du wirst ihn nicht los, 
denn - Alkohol konserviert.
		-- Oskar Kunz
`,
	`Autobiographen sind Enthüllungen das schlechte Gedächtnis ihrer
Verfasser.
		-- Alessandro Blasetti
`,
	`UNIX ist wie SEX: Wenn du es nicht kennst vermisst du es nicht.
                  Wenn du es kennst willst du es immer wieder.
		-- Unknown source
`,
	`Der eigentliche Sinn des Reichtums ist, freigiebig davon zu spenden.
		-- Blaise Pascal
`,
	`Ist der Tod nur ein Schlaf, wie kann dich das Sterben erschrecken?
Hast du es je noch gespürt, wenn du des Abends entschliefst?
		-- Christian Friedrich Hebbel
`,
	`Ich bin mir sicher, Mensch und Fisch können friedlich koexistieren.
		-- George W. Bush (Wahlkampagne, 29. September 2000)
`,
	`Es ist nicht zu leugnen, dass der Geist sich durch die 
Reformation zu befreien suchte; die Aufklärung über griechisches und 
römisches Altertum brachte den Wunsch, die Sehnsucht nach einem 
freieren, anständigeren und geschmackvolleren Leben hervor. Sie wurde 
aber nicht wenig dadurch begünstigt, dass das Herz in einen gewissen 
einfachen Naturzustand zurückzukehren und die Einbildungskraft sich 
zu konzentrieren trachtete.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 131
`,
	`Wenn man einen guten Gedanken liest, so kann man probieren, ob sich
etwas Ähnliches bei einer andern Materie denken und sagen lasse. Man
nimmt hier gleichsam an, daß in der andern Materie etwas enthalten sei
das diesem ähnlich sei. Dieses ist eine Art von Analysis der Gedanken,
die vielleicht mancher Gelehrter braucht ohne es zu sagen.
		-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
`,
	`Im Leben kommt es darauf an, Hammer oder Amboß zu sein - aber niemals
das Material dazwischen.
		-- Norman Mailer
`,
	`Ich weiß nicht, was Eifersucht ist in der Ehe beim Manne -; in der
Minute der Einsicht hätt er b(ei) d(er) Entscheid(ung), nur sich oder
die Frau zu verachten -
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Was macht man nach einem ausgiebigen Essen im China-Lokal?
 Lülps! 
`,
	`Gerade Unparteiische, die alle Seiten sehen, finden weniger Beifall
und Freunde, als die gegen eine Seite heftig sind.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Vielleicht der größte Vorteil des Ruhms liegt darin, daß man
ungestraft die größten Dummheiten sagen kann.
		-- André Gide
`,
	`Dabeisein ist achtzig Prozent des Erfolges.
		-- Woody Allen (eigentlich: Woody Stewart)
`,
	`Ich fürchte mich nicht vor dem, was zu fürchten ist, ich fürchte mich
nur vor der Furcht.
		-- Johann Christian Friedrich Hölderlin
`,
	`Wenn sich zwei männliche Wildschweine treffen, gibt es eine Keilerei.
		-- Werner Mitsch
`,
	` Aber die Menschen vermögen nicht leicht, aus dem Bekannten das 
Unbekannte zu entwickeln; denn sie wissen nicht, dass ihr Verstand 
ebensolche Künste wie die Natur treibt. 
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 100
`,
	`Viele klagen über ihr schwaches Gedächtnis - aber nur wenige über ihren
schwachen Verstand.
`,
	`Um Mitternacht noch Hummer schlemmen, das muß ja denn den Schlummer hemmen.
`,
	`Glücklichsein ist eine Gabe des Schicksals und kommt nicht von außen;
man muß es sich selbst erkämpfen. Das ist aber auch tröstend, denn man
kann es sich erkämpfen.
		-- Wilhelm von Humboldt
`,
	`Wenn die Fahne fliegt, ist der Verstand in der Trompete.
		-- Konrad Lorenz
`,
	`Wenn man ihre Heiligenlegenden liest, findet man die Namen von tausend
heiliggesprochenen Verbrechern.
		-- Claude Adrien Helvétius
`,
	`Kinder geben Armen bisweilen Brot, Zucker und Geld und sind mit sich
selbst zufrieden, über sich selbst gerührt und meinen, sie täten etwas
Gutes. Kinder wissen nicht und können nicht wissen, woher Geld und
Brot stammen. Erwachsene aber müßten wissen und begreifen, daß nichts
Gutes daran sein kann, dem einen etwas wegzunehmen und es dem andern
zu geben.
		-- Leo Nikolajewitsch Tolstoi (Tagebücher 1891)
`,
	`Wo Nachrichten fehlen, wachsen die Gerüchte.
		-- Alberto Moravia
`,
	`Manche bilden sich ein, den Ton anzugeben, dabei machen sie nur Lärm.
`,
	`Wußten Sie schon...
... daß die Dramen Shakespeares nicht von ihm, sondern von einem
   ganz anderen Mann gleichen Namens stammen?
`,
	`Persönlich ist Adenauer für Köln unzweifelhaft glänzend, ob immer 
im Reichsinteresse handelnd, wohl zu bezweifeln.
		-- Gustav Stresemann (Rede, 1925)
`,
	`Eine Krise kann jeder Idiot haben.  Was uns richtig zu schaffen
macht ist der Alltag.
		-- Anton Pawlowitsch Tschechow
`,
	`Hallo A-Klassefahrer!
`,
	`Läßt der Hahn die Arbeit ruh n, kriegt er s mit dem Huhn zu tun.
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Sonja Mer 
`,
	`Stilblüten aus Polizeiberichten und Gerichtsverhandlungen:
Wie uns gemeldet wurde, lief die Ehefrau mit der Wäsche ihres Mannes,
den Federbetten und dem Geliebten weg. Der Wert dieser Dinge beträgt
ca. 520,- DM.
`,
	`Die Geschichte ist eine Fortsetzung der Zoologie.
		-- Arthur Schopenhauer
`,
	`Erholung besteht nicht im Nichtstun, sondern in dem, was wir sonst
nicht tun.
		-- Paul Hörbiger
`,
	`Indem sie schweigen, rufen sie laut
		-- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 v.Chr.)
`,
	`Die Kritik erscheint wie Ate: Sie verfolgt die Autoren, aber 
hinkend.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 779
`,
	`Fortschritt bedeutet, daß wir immer mehr wissen und immer weniger
davon haben.
		-- Josef Meinrad
`,
	`Auch in Wissenschaften kann man eigentlich nichts wissen, es will 
immer getan sein.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 25
`,
	`Der rechte Charakter ist nicht mit Standhaftigkeit anfangen und nach
den Umständen sich zu fügen - sondern wie die Römer, in jeder
Verschlimmerung nicht um einen Fußbreit zu weichen.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Leitfaden durch die Phraseologie wissenschaftlicher Veröffentlichungen:
Englisch:
  The results suggest that
Deutsch:
  wir glauben, daß
`,
	`Gericht verbietet  @  im Firmennamen

Unternehmen, die ihre Firma im Zeichen des  @  führen wollen, werden
vom Münchner Registergericht nicht anerkannt.  Der Grund: dieses Zeichen
findet sich nicht auf der Schreibmaschine des Gerichtspräsidenten.
		-- Hightext News
`,
	`EDV-Systeme verarbeiten, womit sie gefüttert werden. Kommt Mist rein,
kommt Mist raus.
		-- André Kostolany
`,
	`Es ist so schwer, etwas von Mustern zu lernen, als von der 
Natur.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1137
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Mike Rhosoft 
`,
	`Nicht was wir gestern waren, sondern was wir morgen zusammen sein
werden, vereinigt uns zum Staat.
		-- José Ortega y Gasset
`,
	`Wie übt man ein Gedächtnis, um vergessen zu lernen?
		-- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec (eig. S. J. de Tusch-Letz)
`,
	`Es ist leichter zu schmeicheln, als zu loben.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Kraft kommt aus der Beschleunigung, sagt der Physiker.
Kraft kommt aus den Muskeln sagt der Biologe. Kraft kommt
aus dem Herzen und dem Geist. So spricht der Poet.
		-- Benjamin Stramke
`,
	`Keine Religion hat so viele Menschenopfer gefordert und auf eine so
schmähliche Weise hingeschlachtet als diejenige, die sich rühmt, sie
für immer abgeschafft zu haben.
		-- Bruno Bauer (dt. ev. Theologe u. Philosoph, 1809-1882)
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Thor Schluß 
`,
	`Die Menschen früherer Zeiten waren genauso schlecht wie wir. Sie
wußten es nur nicht so genau.
		-- Tennessee Williams
`,
	`Niemand heilt durch Jammern seinen Harm.
		-- William Shakespeare
`,
	`Menschenhaß und Härte verträgt sich mit weich(em) liebend(en) Gefühl.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Input - Output - Kaputt
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Nick L. Brille 
`,
	`Vati, was heißt  FORMATIERE LAUFWERK C:? 
`,
	`Zeit ist das, was man an der Uhr abliest.
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	`Ein unzulängliches Wahre wirkt eine Zeitlang fort, statt 
völliger Aufklärung aber tritt auf einmal ein blendendes Falsche 
herein; das genügt der Welt, und so sind Jahrhunderte betört.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 292
`,
	`Zensur und Pressfreiheit werden immerfort miteinander kämpfen. 
Zensur fordert und übt der Mächtige, Pressfreiheit verlangt der 
Mindere. Jener will weder in seinen Planen noch seiner Tätigkeit 
durch vorlautes, widersprechendes Wesen gehindert, sondern gehorcht 
sein; diese wollen ihre Gründe aussprechen, den Ungehorsam zu 
legitimieren. Dieses wird man überall geltend finden.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 142
`,
	`Wir alle sind so borniert, dass wir immer glauben, recht zu 
haben; und so lässt sich ein außerordentlicher Geist denken, der 
nicht allein irrt, sondern sogar Lust am Irrtum hat.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 327
`,
	`Gemeinsame Erinnerungen sind manchmal die besten Friedensstifter.
		-- Marcel Proust
`,
	`Die Menschen früherer Zeiten waren genauso schlecht wie wir. Sie
wußten es nur nicht so genau.
		-- Tennessee Williams
`,
	`Es gibt da ein altes Sprichwort in Tennessee - auf jeden Fall gibt es das in
Texas, also vielleicht auch in Tennessee - das lautet:  Täusche mich einmal,
Schande … Schande über dich. Täusche mich - du kannst nicht noch einmal
getäuscht werden. 
		-- George W. Bush (Nahsville, Tennessee, am 17. September 2002)
Die Redewendung lautet korrekt:
 Täusche mich einmal, Schande über dich. Täusche mich ein zweites Mal,
Schande über mich. 
`,
	`Unsere Fehlschläge sind oft erfolgreicher als unsere Erfolge.
		-- Henry Ford
`,
	`Ich würde dieses intellektuelle Duell ja gerne fortsetzen, aber du bist
ja unbewaffnet.
`,
	`Ein Ostfriese kommt zum Schreiner und fragt ob dieser ihm eine Kiste
machen könne.
Aber sicher doch, sagen sie mir mal die Maße.
12 Meter lang, 5 cm hoch und 5 cm breit.
Der Schreiner schaut verdutzt auf und fragt was er denn mit so einer
seltsamen Kiste wolle.
Mein Freund hat Geburtstag und ich will ihm einen Gartenschlauch
schenken.
`,
	`Die Empfindungen sind nur mit Empfindungen zu besiegen.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Die Herrschenden zimmern ihren Thron nicht mehr selber. Darum wissen
sie auch nicht, wo er brüchig ist.
		-- Karl Heinrich Waggerl
`,
	`Viele Frauen sagen lieber ein Fest ab, als daß sie schlecht gekleidet
hingehen.
		-- Simone de Beauvoir
`,
	`Man wird alt, wenn die Leute anfangen zu sagen, daß man jung aussieht.
                -- Karl Dall
`,
	`Die Realität ist eine Illusion, die durch Mangel an Alkohol hervorgerufen
wird.  Durch Alkohol wird die Illusion der Realität zerstört und die
wahre Realität offenbart sich einem.
		-- Drogos on #Artis
`,
	`Samen:
  werden vom Samenleiter eingesetzt:
  Arbeit-Samen - fleissig
  Gemein-Samen - superfies
  Grau-Samen - unscheinbar
  Gleich-Samen - Klassenkämpfer (alle ziehen an einem Samenstrang)
  Ein-Samen - versuchen es auf eigene Faust
  Spar-Samen - die Ökonomen unter den Samen
`,
	`Wer nur darauf baut, schön und begehrenswert zu sein, ja, der hat es
natürlich schwer beim Älterwerden.
		-- Witta Pohl
`,
	`Ein Abenteuer passiert dem, der es am wenigsten erwartet, d. h. 
dem Romantischen, dem Schüchternen. Insofern blüht das Abenteuer dem 
Unabenteuerlichen.
		-- Gilbert Keith Chesterton
`,
	`Es gibt keine großen Entdeckungen und Fortschritte, solange es noch
ein unglückliches Kind auf Erden gibt.
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	`Mir sind alle Religionen genehm, soweit sie ein humanisierender
Versuch sind, unser Denken und die Grenzen unseres Denkens in ein
System zu bringen.
		-- Hans-Hermann Kesten
`,
	`Beim Dreschen laß das Rauchen sein, sonst atmest Du den Brandrauch ein.
`,
	`Denn wenn jemand sähe, wie sein Feind, durch ein gefährliches Fieber
wahnsinnig geworden, dem Abgrunde zuliefe, würde er da nicht Böses mit
Bösem vergelten, wenn er ihn so laufen ließe, statt ihn zurückzuhalten
und binden zu lassen?
		-- Augustinus, Brief an Vincentius
`,
	`Tankwart: Guten Tag. Ihre Reifen sind ja schon abgefahren.
Ostfriese: Na dann mal nix wie hinterher.
`,
	`Man wird nicht schlecht, wenn man aufhört an Gott zu glauben; man wird
nicht einmal natürlicher - allenfalls wird an behutsamer im Urteilen -
und duldsamer gegen lästige Wahrheiten.
		-- Hans Henny Jahnn
`,
	`    Anto-logie
Im Anfang lebte, wie bekannt,
als größter Säuger der Gig-ant.
  Wobei gig eine Zahl ist, die
  es nicht mehr gibt, - so groß war sie!
Doch jene Größe schwand wie Rauch.
Zeit gab s genug -- und Zahlen auch.
  Bis eines Tags, ein winzig Ding,
  der Zwölef-ant das Reich empfing.
Wo blieb sein Reich? Wo blieb er selb?-
Sein Bein wird im Museum gelb.
  Zwar gab die gütige Natur
  den Elef-anten uns dafur.
Doch ach, der Pulverpavian,
der Mensch, voll Gier nach seinem Zahn,
  erschießt ihn, statt ihm Zeit zu lassen,
  zum Zehen-anten zu verblassen.
O »Klub zum Schutz der wilden Tiere«,
hilf, daß der Mensch nicht ruiniere
  die Sprossen dieser Riesenleiter,
  die stets noch weiter führt und weiter!
Wie dankbar wird der Ant dir sein,
läßt du ihn wachsen und gedeihn, --
  bis er dereinst im Nebel hinten
  als Nulel-ant wird stumm verschwinden.

		-- Christian Morgenstern
`,
	`Abwechslung ist des Lebens Reiz, was freilich jede glückliche Ehe zu
widerlegen scheint.
		-- Theodor Fontane
`,
	`Man kann Gott nur auf eigene Kosten lieben.
		-- Mutter Teresa
`,
	`Humor ist was man nicht hat, sobald man es definiert.
`,
	`Friedhöfe, Friedhöfe... Bei Gott, ich weigere mich, mich auf einem
Friedhof begraben zu lassen. Ich will nicht, daß Schwachsinnige mit
einem Weihwasserwedel über mir stehen und ein kummervolles Gesicht
machen.
Nur das nicht!
		-- Henry Miller
`,
	`Das Leben ist kein Stillleben.
		-- Oskar Kokoschka
`,
	`In Manufaktur und Handwerk bedient sich der Arbeiter des Werkzeugs, in
der Fabrik dient er der Maschine.
		-- Karl Marx
`,
	`Luther erschütterte Deutschland - aber Francis Drake beruhigte es
wieder: Er gab uns die Kartoffel.
		-- Heinrich Heine
`,
	`Wer ein Theater füllen will, bedient sich der Dramaturgie. Um es zu
leeren genügt Ideologie.
		-- Oliver Hassencamp
`,
	`Der Krieg ist der Vater aller Dinge und der König aller. Die einen
macht er zu Göttern, die anderen zu Menschen, die einen zu Sklaven,
die andern zu Freien.
		-- Heraklit von Ephesus (540-480 v. Chr.)
`,
	`Phantasie ist etwas, was sich manche Leute gar nicht vorstellen
können.
		-- Gabriel Laub
`,
	`Jede neue Steuer hat etwas erstaunlich ungemütliches für denjenigen,
der sie zahlen oder auch nur auslegen soll.
		-- Otto von Bismarck
`,
	`Ich bin sehr vielen Menschen begegnet, die nicht abergläubisch 
sein wollen, aber nur ganz wenigen, die es nicht sind.
		-- Johannes Müller
`,
	`Keiner kennt die Härte eines Kiesels besser, als wer auf ihn
einschlägt!
		-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4-65 n.Chr.)
`,
	`Das Geheimnis meines Erfolges? Nie entmutigt sein!
		-- Ernest Hemingway
`,
	`Zensur - Zutreffendes bitte streichen.
		-- Hans-Hermann Kesten
`,
	`Das unfehlbarste Mittel, Autorität über die Menschen zu gewinnen, ist,
sich ihnen nützlich zu machen.
		-- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
`,
	`Jede Aussage, die Sie hier lesen, kann gegen Sie verwendet werden!
`,
	`Politik besteht nicht selten darin, einen simplen Tatbestand so zu
komplizieren, daß alle nach einem neuen Vereinfacher rufen.
		-- Giovanni Guareschi
`,
	`Leider sind meines Erachtens nicht zu vernachlässigende Teile der
Bevölkerung potentiell bis akut ausreichend  vertrottelt .
		-- Helmut Springer
`,
	`Ein Torheit, über die viele Satiren gemacht worden und bei der jede
neue Satire verliert, ist in der Wirklichkeit desto komischer.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Es gibt eine Zeit in der Jugend, wo - wegen der Kraft etc. - uns der
Skeptizismus gefällt, der uns nachher, näher am Grabe, peinigt.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Wer eins wird mit dem Moment, der wird eins mit der
Ewigkeit.
		-- Benjamin Stramke
`,
	`Die Kunst zu gefallen, ist die Kunst zu täuschen.
		-- Luc de Clapiers Vauvenargues
`,
	`Eine Religion, die der Vernunft unbedenklich den Krieg ankündigt, wird
es auf die Dauer gegen sie nicht aushalten.
		-- Immanuel Kant
`,
	`Was am Menschen das Reinste ist, ist vielleicht sein Streben nach
immer schärferem Wissen, wobei er sich vergißt und jeden Ruhm. Nur
hier erscheint die Menschheit im großen Schritt zur Größe.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Der Arzt sieht den Menschen in seiner ganzen Schwäche, der Advokat in
seiner ganzen Schlechtigkeit und der Priester in seiner ganzen
Dummheit.
		-- Arthur Schopenhauer (Parerga und Paralipomena)
`,
	`Die Asiaten haben den Weltmarkt mit unlauteren Methoden erobert: sie
arbeiten während der Arbeitszeit.
		-- Ephraim Kishon (alias Ferenc Hoffmann)
`,
	`Es ist schwierig, Menschen hinters Licht zu führen, sobald es ihnen
aufgegangen ist.
		-- Alfred Polgar
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Klara Verstand 
`,
	`Die Ideen sind nicht verantwortlich für das, was die Menschen aus
ihnen machen.
		-- Werner Heisenberg
`,
	`Einmal kein Fortschritt das wäre einer.
`,
	`Wie viele Jahre muss man nicht tun, um nur einigermaßen zu 
wissen, was und wie es zu tun sei!
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 617
`,
	`Da kein Geschmack früher als der Gegenstand da sein kann, den er
genießt und der ihn bildet: so muß die Tristramische Laune erst
mißfallen, eh sie gefället, und den Geschmack zeugen, der sie
goutiert.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Vor dem Munitionsdepot, zum wachhabenden Soldaten:
 Sag mal, wie kannst du hier rauchen. Ein Funke und die ganze Munition
fliegt in die Luft! 
 Sind das meine Granaten? 
`,
	`Es ist immer dasselbe: eingeräumte Rechte sind auferlegte Pflichten.
		-- Hans Lohberger
`,
	`Gewisse Menschen wären Engel, wenn sie stärker wären, und gewisse
keine Teufel, wenn sie schwächer wären.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Letzte Worte des Walfängers:
   So, den hätten wir sicher am Haken. 
`,
	`Es ist traurig, anzusehen, wie ein außerordentlicher Mensch sich 
gar oft mit sich selbst, seinen Umständen, seiner Zeit herumwürgt, 
ohne auf einen grünen Zweig zu kommen. Trauriges Beispiel Bürger.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 222
`,
	`Gute Aussichten sind wertlos. Es kommt darauf an, wer sie hat.
		-- Karl Kraus
`,
	`Wenn Frauen unergründlich erscheinen, liegt das meist an dem geringen
Tiefgang der Männer.
`,
	`Der Wille lockt die Taten nicht herbei.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
`,
	`Wenn es nachts im Bette kracht, der Bauer seinen Erben macht.
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  Wanda Lismus 
`,
	`Um eine Kultur zu schaffen, genügt es nicht, mit dem Lineal auf die
Finger zu klopfen.
		-- Albert Camus
`,
	`EDV: Was steht auf ihrem Monitor?
DAU: Eine Blumenvase.
`,
	`Jetzt geht s rund, sprach der Spatz - und flog in den Ventilator.
`,
	`Nach Einführung der Mercedes A-Klasse wurde eine Änderung in der neuen
Rechtschreibreform vorgenommen: Das A jetzt horizontal geschrieben!
`,
	`Wer da will, daß sein Urteil Glauben finde, spreche es kalt und ohne
Leidenschaftlichkeit aus.
		-- Arthur Schopenhauer
`,
	`Verstand und Genie rufen Achtung und Hochschätzung hervor, Witz und
Humor erweckt Liebe und Zuneigung.
		-- David Hume
`,
	`Das Christentum steht mit dem Judentum in einem weit stärkern 
Gegensatz als mit dem Heidentum.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 625
`,
	`Zwei Irre brechen aus der Anstalt aus. Nachdem alle Mauern mühsam
überwunden  sind, sagt der eine:  Jetzt aber schnell wieder zurück, die
Generalprobe hat ja prima geklappt! 
`,
	`Ein Genie, das nachgeahmt wird, hat ebendeswegen viele Fehler: denn
sonst schreckt  es ab. (Ramler, Goethe jetzt und sonst)
		-- Jean Paul (eig. Johann Paul Friedrich Richter)
`,
	`Ordnung ist das halbe Leben, aber die andere Hälfte ist schöner.
`,
	`Den deutschen Mannen gereichts zum Ruhm,
Daß sie gehaßt das Christentum,
Bis Herrn Karolus  leidigem Degen
Die edlen Sachsen unterlegen.
Doch haben sie lange genug gerungen,
Bis endlich die Pfaffen sie bezwungen,
Und sie sich unters Joch geduckt;
Doch haben sie immer einmal gemuckt.
Sie lagen nur im halben Schlaf,
Als Luther die Bibel verdeutscht so brav.
Sankt Paulus, wie ein Ritter derb
Erschien den Rittern minder herb.
Freiheit erwacht in jeder Brust,
Wir protestieren all mit Lust.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
`,
	`Kräht der Bauer auf dem Dach, liegt der Hahn vor Lachen flach.
`,
	`Jetzt kommen die sieben mageren Jahre, dann hört die gute Zeit auf.
`,
	`Die Politik ist ein Versuch der Politiker, zusammen mit
dem Volk mit den Problemen fertig zu werden, die das Volk
ohne die Politiker niemals gehabt hätte.
		-- Dieter Hildebrandt
`,
	`Alles im Leben hat seinen Preis; auch die Dinge, von denen man sich
einbildet, man kriegt sie geschenkt.
		-- Theodor Fontane
`,
	`Denken und wissen sollten immer gleichen Schritt halten.
Das Wissen bleibt sonst tot und unfruchtbar.
		-- Wilhelm von Humboldt
`,
	`Alltag wird nur erträglich durch das Nicht-Alltägliche.
		-- Gerhard Uhlenbruck
`,
	`Individualismus bedeudet heute, alles zu tun, was die anderen auch
tun, bloß einzeln.
		-- Rock Hudson
`,
	`Der Mensch hat mehr Scham über einen scheinbaren (unwirklichen)
Fehler, den der andere ihm vorwirft, als über einen wahren, den man
sich selber endlich eingesteht.
		-- Jean Paul (eig. Johann Paul Friedrich Richter)
`,
	`Neue Viren:
Behörden Virus: Dieser Virus gibt auf Ihrem Drucker unendlich viele 
Formulare aus. Dieser Virus arbeitet sehr langsam. 
`,
	`Alles borgt. Auch mein Herz pumpt.
`,
	`Eigentlich bin ich ein sehr netter Kerl. Wenn ich Freunde hätte,
würden die das bestätigen können.
`,
	`Ablehnung ist eine Antwort; sie ist möglicherweise oft eine ehrlichere
Antwort als der Beifall, der rein ästhetisch wertet und
Vogel-Strauß-Politik treibt.
		-- Alfred Döblin
`,
	`Alle Menschen werden Brüder. Außer Esther. Die bleibt Schwester.
`,
	`Nichts vermittelt so sehr das Gefühl von Unendlichkeit als die
menschliche Dummheit.
		-- Ödön von Horváth
`,
	`Ein Abschied schmerzt immer, auch wenn man sich schon lange darauf
freut.
		-- Arthur Schnitzler
`,
	`Hallo Marillenschnapstrinker!
`,
	`Amerika ist, wenn Sie so wollen, ein Kontinent.
		-- Helmut Kohl
`,
	`Überall dort, wo die Wissenschaft neue Erkenntnisse gewinnt, schafft
sie grundsätzlich auch neue Macht.
		-- Carl Friedrich von Weizsäcker
`,
	`Eine Emanze faucht einen Herrn an, der Ihr die Tür aufhält:
 Bloß weil ich eine Frau bin, brauchen sie mir nicht die Tür aufhalten! 
 Ich halte ihnen nicht die Tür auf, weil sie eine Dame sind, sondern
 weil ich ein Gentleman bin! 
`,
	`Affekte sind Erregungen, infolge deren die Menschen ihre Stimmung
ändern und verschiedenartig urteilen, Erregungen, die mit Lust- und
Unlustgefühlen verbunden sind, wie Zorn, Mitleid, Furcht und andere
der Art sowie ihre Gegensätze.
		-- Aristoteles (Psychologie, 384-322 v. Chr.)
`,
	`Ich kann auch wirklich nicht einsehen, wie jemand wünschen kann, daß
das Christentum wahr wäre, denn wäre es das, so würde die klare
Sprache des Textes erweisen, daß Menschen die nicht Glauben, auf ewig
bestraft würden, und das würde meinen Vater, meinen Bruder und beinahe
alle meine besten Freunde einschließen. - Dies ist eine
verdammungswürdige Doktrin.
		-- Charles Darwin
`,
	`Ein witziger Kopf ist nirgends vergnügter und glänzender, als wo ein
Narr mit ist.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Wenn es den Politikern die Sprache verschlägt, halten sie eine Rede.
		-- Friedrich Nowottny
`,
	`Letzte Worte eines AKW-Wartungsmechanikers:
   Ach, kümmert euch nicht drum, das war schon immer so. 
`,
	`Jeder Mensch gilt in dieser Welt nur so viel, als wozu er sich selbst
macht.
		-- Adolph von Knigge (Über den Umgang mit Menschen)
`,
	`Es ist so gewiss als wunderbar, dass Wahrheit und Irrtum aus 
einer Quelle entstehen; deswegen man oft dem Irrtum nicht schaden 
darf, weil man zugleich der Wahrheit schadet.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 291
`,
	`Wenn Microsoft Autos bauen würde ...
würde es aus irgendeinem Grund fünf Minuten dauern, bis der Motor
anspringt.
`,
	`Ein Deutscher war schon absurd, solang  er hoffte; da er nun 
überwunden war, so war gar nicht mehr mit ihm zu leben.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1308
`,
	`Glück ist Selbstgenügsamkeit.
		-- Aristoteles, 384-322 v. Chr.
`,
	`Hoffnung, das ist die Illusionskraft der Seele, die in ihrer Illusion
neun Zehntel des Glücks, das sie erwartet, vorweg genießt.
		-- Gerhard Hauptmann
`,
	`Wissenschaft ist ein vielseitiges Werkzeug. Sie kann auf jedem
harmlosen, freundlichen oder bösen Aberglauben das scharfsinnigste
Begriffsgebäude errichten.
		-- Ludwig Marcuse
`,
	`Das ist seltsam, daß Männer, die sich als Sachverständige ausgeben,
einander widersprechen und von einerlei Sache nicht einerlei Begriff
haben.
		-- Lukian (120-180 n.Chr.)
`,
	`Ehrgeiz ist die letzte Zuflucht der Versager.
		-- Oscar Wilde
`,
	`Wußten Sie schon...
... daß auch die beste Empfängnisverhütung gegen unerwünschte
Briefsendungen wirkungslos ist?
`,
	`Ich wünschte ein Shakespeare zu sein und wurde ein Shaw.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`Es gibt jetzt eine böse Art, in den Wissenschaften abstrus zu 
sein: Man entfernt sich vom gemeinen Sinne, ohne einen höhern 
aufzuschließen, transzendiert, phantasiert, fürchtet lebendiges 
Anschauen, und wenn man zuletzt ins Praktische will und muss, wird 
man auf einmal atomistisch und mechanisch.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1100
`,
	`Was am leichtesten hartherzig macht, wenigstens das Abschlagen zu sehr
erleichtert, ist, wenn man gewiß ist, daß man nicht allen helfen kann.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Präfix:
  vorschnell
`,
	`In der jetzigen Zeit soll niemand schweigen oder nachgeben; man 
muss reden und sich rühren, nicht um zu überwinden, sondern sich auf 
seinem Posten zu erhalten, ob bei der Majorität oder Minorität, ist 
ganz gleichgültig.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 301
`,
	`Ist der Rechner abgeschmiert, wird der User abserviert.
`,
	`Seit man nicht mehr in die Kirche geht, ist das Theater der einzige
öffentliche Gottesdienst, sowie die Literatur die Privatandacht.
		-- Franz Grillparzer (Aphorismen)
`,
	`Damit das Mögliche entsteht, muß immer wieder das Unmögliche versucht
werden.
		-- Hermann Hesse
`,
	`Die Menschen sind als Organe ihres Jahrhunderts anzusehen, die 
sich meist unbewusst bewegen.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 726
`,
	`Die Werbung schenkt uns neue Bedürfnisse und nimmt uns Stück für Stück
die eigenen.
		-- Iring Fetscher
`,
	`Ich bin immer noch am überlegen, welche Sportart meine Mannschaft an
diesem Abend ausgübt hat.  Fußball war s mit Sicherheit nicht.
		-- Franz Beckenbauer (nach einer Bayern-Niederlage) 
`,
	`Wer ohne die Welt auszukommen glaubt, irrt sich. Wer aber glaubt, daß
die Welt nicht ohne ihn auskommen könne, irrt sich noch viel mehr.
		-- François de La Rochefoucault
`,
	`Dein tägliches Quantum Sonnenschein mußt du dir täglich selbst
verdienen.
		-- Hermann Sudermann
`,
	`Der Jüngling habe einen lebendigen Großen-Mann, aber nicht in seinem
Fache und Triebe vor sich - sondern nur Größen seitwärts in andern
Wissenschaften; denn jener gäb ihm ewige Richtung und verschläng ihn.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Die Religion ist ein System von Wunschphantasien, die sich über die
harte Wirklichkeit wie eine Decke legen soll.
		-- Arnulf Øverland
`,
	`Die Fähigkeit zu staunen ist der Anfang aller Weisheit.
		-- Erich Fromm
`,
	`Ein guter Propagandist kann sogar mithilfe der Wahrheit überzeugen.
		-- Wieslaw Brudzinzki
`,
	`Der Apfel fällt nicht weit vom Pferd.
`,
	`Es ist viel mehr schon entdeckt, als man glaubt.
Da die Gegenstände durch die Ansichten der Menschen erst aus dem 
Nichts hervorgehoben werden, so kehren sie, wenn sich die Ansichten 
verlieren, auch wieder ins Nichts zurück: Rundung der Erde, Platos 
Bläue.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1074
`,
	`Die beste kurzfristige Erfolgsmeldung ist das Mienenspiel deines
Bankdirektors.
		-- Helmar Nahr
`,
	`Eine falsche Lehre lässt sich nicht widerlegen, denn sie ruht ja 
auf der Überzeugung, dass das Falsche wahr sei. Aber das Gegenteil 
kann, darf und muss man wiederholt aussprechen.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 265
`,
	`Das Ideal der Gleichheit ist deshalb so schwer, weil die Menschen
Gleichheit nur mit jenen wünschen, die über ihnen stehen.
		-- John B. Priestley
`,
	`Wie selbst jeder Bauer weiß, macht Microsoft oft großen Mist.
`,
	`Revolver-Joe kommt in den Saloon wütend gestürmt.  Jemand hat mein
Pferd geklaut. Wenn es nicht umgehend wieder auftaucht, dann passiert
hier das Gleiche wie vor zwei Jahren in Nevada.  Zehn Minuten später
ist das Pferd wieder da. Der Barkeeper fragt Revolver-Joe:  Was war
denn damals in Nevada passiert?  Darauf antwortet der:  Das war ganz
schlimm. Damals mußte ich laufen. 
`,
	`Wir brauchen keinen dritten Weltkrieg.
Wir haben Kapitalismus, Kommunismus und Tourismus.
		-- Oliver Hassencamp
`,
	`Das heißt abergläubisch sein, wenn man seine Hoffnungen auf Formeln
und Zeremonien setzt; es heißt aber hochmütig sein, wenn man sich
ihnen nicht unterwerfen will.
		-- Blaise Pascal (Pensées)
`,
	`In der Ehe pflegt gewöhnlich immer einer der Dumme zu sein.
Nur wenn zwei Dumme heiraten - das kann mitunter gut gehen.
	-- Kurt Tucholsky
`,
	`Gerade Unparteiische, die alle Seiten sehen, finden weniger Beifall
und Freunde, als die gegen eine Seite heftig sind.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Letzte Worte des Autoschlossers:
   Laß mal die Hebebühne ein Stück runter. 
`,
	`Kaufen, was einem die Kartelle vorwerfen; lesen, was einem die
Zensoren erlauben; glauben, was einem die Kirche und Partei gebieten.
Beinkleider werden zur Zeit mittelweit getragen. Freiheit gar nicht.
		-- Kurt Tucholsky
`,
	`Einige Leute halten Fußball für einen Kampf um Leben und Tod.
Ich mag diese Einstellung nicht. Ich versichere Ihnen, daß es viel ernster ist!
		-- Bill Shankly
`,
	`Bedeutet eine schwarze Katze Unglück?
Das kommt drauf an – bist du Mensch oder Maus?
		-- Eckhart von Hirschhausen
`,
	`Es ist ein Unterschied, den Weg zu kennen oder ihn zu beschreiten.
		-- Die Matrix
`,
	`Er scherzt gar anmutig über die Widersprüche, die seinen Zustand 
zweideutig machen.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 201
`,
	`Man hat den Eindruck, daß die moderne Physik auf Annahmen beruht, die
irgendwie dem Lächeln einer Katze gleichen, die gar nicht da ist.
		-- Albert Einstein
`,
	`Wenn ein Mensch einen Tiger tötet, spricht man von Sport. Wenn ein
Tiger einen Menschen tötet, ist das Grausamkeit.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
`,
	`Im Laufe des Tages werden örtlich starke Niederschläge auftreten ,
prophezeit der Meteorologe.
Ratlos beugt sich der Assistent über Tabellen und Satellitenfotos.
 Woraus schließen Sie das?  
 Ich habe meinen Schirm vergessen, den Wagen gewaschen und bin zu einer
Gartenparty eingeladen! 
`,
	`Die Welt der Realität hat ihre Grenzen.
Die Welt der Phantasie ist grenzenlos.
`,
	`Was nicht auf einer einzigen Manuskriptseite zusammengefaßt werden
kann, ist weder durchdacht, noch entscheidungsreif.
		-- Dwight David Eisenhower
`,
	`Wie man sein Kind nicht nennen sollte: 
  M. Pfinden 
`,
	`Ein Mann von Geist wird nicht allein nie etwas Dummes sagen, er wird
auch nie etwas Dummes hören.
		-- Ludwig Börne
`,
	`Dummheit, seinen Feind vor dem Tode, und Niederträchtigkeit, 
nach dem Siege zu verkleinern.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 660
`,
	`Füttert eure Kinder mit Knoblauch, dann findet ihr sie im Dunkeln.
`,
	`Den Wert eines Menschenlebens bestimmt nicht seine Länge, sondern
seine Tiefe.
		-- Gustav Frenssen
`,
	`Kalte Brötchen schmecken warm besser als lecker!
`,
	`Stilblüten aus Polizeiberichten und Gerichtsverhandlungen:
Die Mordkommission schließt nicht aus, daß die bei Hannover
gefundenen Teile eines menschlichen Körpers zu einer Leiche gehören.
`,
	`Genieße dein Leben ständig, denn du bist länger tot als lebendig.
`,
	`Benutzerfreundlichkeit, einfache Installation und lesbare
Fehlermeldungen mit Erklärungen und Vorgehensvorschlägen sind in der
Informatik immer noch wie der Yeti im Himalaja: Gerüchten zu folge
soll es sie geben. 
`,
	`Wußten Sie schon...
... daß auch Arme Beine haben?
`,
	`Wir Menschen sind auf Ausdehnung und Bewegung angewiesen; diese 
beiden allgemeinen Formen sind es, in welchen sich alle übrigen 
Formen, besonders die sinnlichen, offenbaren. Eine geistige Form wird 
aber keineswegs verkürzt, wenn sie in der Erscheinung hervortritt, 
vorausgesetzt, dass ihr Hervortreten eine wahre Zeugung, eine wahre 
Fortpflanzung sei. Das Gezeugte ist nicht geringer als das Zeugende; 
ja es ist der Vorteil lebendiger Zeugung, dass das Gezeugte 
vortrefflicher sein kann als das Zeugende.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 1193
`,
	`Ich denke immer, wenn ich einen Druckfehler sehe, es sei etwas 
Neues erfunden.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 794
`,
	`Frauen, die abgetrieben haben, brauchen dringend Vergebung.
		-- Mutter Teresa
`,
	`Der Panther 

Der Panther, der Panther - 
erst lag er, dann stand er, 
worauf er so erschrak, 
daß er gleich wieder lag. 

  -- Robert Gernhardt 
`,
	`Welch unterschiedliche Erwachsene aus katholischen Kindern werden
können, läßt sich an den Namen Sartre, Adenauer, Himmler, Brecht,
Joyce, Roncalli und Mary McCarthy ablesen.
		-- Heinrich Böll,  Billard um halbzehn 
`,
	`Erfahrungen sammeln heißt Fehler begehen.
		-- Herbert George Wells
`,
	`Das Alter, das man haben möchte, verdirbt das Alter, das man hat.
		-- Paul von Heyse
`,
	`Wisset, die euch Haß predigen, erlösen euch nicht.
		-- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
`,
	`Ich denke, Krieg ist ein gefährlicher Ort.
		-- George W. Bush (Washington D.C. am 7. Mai 2003)
`,
	`Wenn jeder Mensch ahnte, von wie vielen er durchschaut wird!
		-- Elias Canetti (Die Provinz des Menschen. 1942-1972)
`,
	`Der ewige Friede ist ein Traum, und nicht einmal ein schöner, solange
die Nationen ein gesondertes Dasein führen.
		-- Helmuth Graf von Moltke
`,
	`F: Was ist Mengenlehre?
A: Wenn 3 Leute in einem Zimmer sind und 5 davon gehen raus, dann
müssen 2 wieder reinkommen, damit das Zimmer leer ist!
`,
	`Übertriebner Tadel schadet Guten mehr als übertriebnes Lob.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Der Schlaf ist für manche Menschen der fruchtbarste Teil ihres
Daseins.
		-- Carl Zuckmayer
`,
	`Es ist gut, eine Sache doppelt auszudrücken und ihr einen rechten und
linken Fuß zu geben. Auf einem Bein kann die Wahrheit zwar stehen; mit
zweien aber wird sie gehen und herumkommen.
		-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
`,
	`Wer zuletzt lacht, hat s nicht eher begriffen.
`,
	`Die Wissenschaften, auch in ihrem innern Kreise betrachtet, 
werden mit augenblicklichem, jedesmaligem Interesse behandelt. Ein 
starker Anstoß, besonders von etwas Neuem und Unerhörten oder 
wenigstens mächtig Gefördertem, erregt eine allgemeine Teilnahme, die 
jahrelang dauern kann, und die besonders in den letzten Zeiten sehr 
fruchtbar geworden ist.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 829
`,
	`Nach Pressfreiheit schreit niemand, als wer sie missbrauchen 
will.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 735
`,
	`Die Menschen glauben den Augen mehr als den Ohren. Lehren sind ein
langweiliger Weg, Vorbilder ein kurzer, der schnell zum Ziele führt.
		-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4-65 n.Chr.)
`,
	`Der Aufschwung kommt. Und wann kommst du?
`,
	`Es gibt problematische Naturen, die keiner Lage gewachsen sind, 
in der sie sich befinden, und denen keine genugtut. Daraus entsteht 
der ungeheure Widerstreit, der das Leben ohne Genuss verzehrt.
		-- Goethe, Maximen und Reflektionen, Nr. 278
`,
	`Es erfordert zuweilen mehr Mut, den Gegner zu fliehen, als ihn
anzugreifen.
		-- Karl Heinrich Waggerl
`,
	`Ich habe das Problem, daß ich zuviel weiß.
		-- Prof. Informationssysteme, FH Schweinfurt
`,
	`Freude beruht auf dem frohen Glauben, daß das Gute überwiegt.
`,
	`Der Jammer mit der Menschheit ist, daß die Klugen feige, die Tapferen
dumm und die Fähigen ungeduldig sind. Das Ideal wäre der tapfere Kluge
mit der nötigen Geduld.
		-- Truman Capote
`,
	`Die Kinder erraten die Eltern besser als diese jene.
		-- Jean Paul
`,
	`Ansehen:
  der gute Ruf, den man genießt, weil viele schweigen.
`,
	`Das Fernsehen wurde erfunden, um den Analphabeten einen guten Grund
zum Brillentragen zu geben.
		-- Gabriel Laub
`,
	`Meckern ist immer leichter, als von anderen angemeckert zu werden.
		-- Wolfgang Bötsch
`,
	`Stilblüten aus Schreiben von Versicherungsnehmern:
Mein Fahrrad kam vom Gehsteig ab, touchierte einen Porsche und fuhr
ohne mich weiter.
`,
	`Wußten Sie schon...
... daß Teigwaren Teigwaren heißen, weil Teigwaren vorher Teig waren?
`,
	`Die Torheit begleitet uns in allen Lebensperioden. Wenn einer weise
scheint, liegt es daran, daß seine Torheiten seinem Alter und seinen
Kräften angemessen sind.
		-- François de La Rochefoucauld
`,
	`Es ist ebenso absurd zu behaupten, ein Mann könne nicht ständig
dieselbe Frau lieben, wie zu behaupten, ein Geiger brauche mehrere
Geigen, um ein Musikstück zu spielen.
		-- Honoré de Balzac
`,
	`Leute, die nichts von sich halten, sind auch schlechte Menschenkenner.
		-- Karl Heinrich Waggerl
`,
	`Wer viele Sprachen spricht, kann in vielen Sprachen Unsinn reden.
		-- Alexander Roda Roda
`,
	`[32m题目:《闲居初夏午睡起》[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m
梅子留酸软齿牙，芭蕉分绿与窗纱。
日长睡起无情思，闲看儿童捉柳花。
`,
	`[32m题目:《村行》[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m
马穿山径菊初黄，信马悠悠野兴长。
万壑有声含晚籁，数峰无语立斜阳。
棠梨叶落胭脂色，荞麦花开白雪香。
何事吟余忽惆怅，村桥原树似吾乡。
`,
	`[32m《西施咏》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
艳色天下重，西施宁久微。
朝为越溪女，暮作吴宫妃。
贱日岂殊众，贵来方悟稀。
邀人傅粉粉，不自著罗衣。
君宠益娇态，君怜无是非。
当时浣纱伴，莫得同车归。
持谢邻家子，效颦安可希。
`,
	`[32m《咏怀古迹・其二》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
摇落深知宋玉悲，风流儒雅亦吾师。
怅望千秋一洒泪，萧条异代不同时。
江山故宅空文藻，云雨荒台岂梦思。
最是楚宫俱泯灭，舟人指点到今疑。
`,
	`[32m题目:《横塘》[m
[33m作者:范成大（１１２６－１１９３）[m
南浦春来绿一川，石桥朱塔两依然。
年年送客横塘路，细雨垂杨系画船。
`,
	`[32m题目:《襄邑道中》[m
[33m作者:陈与义（１０９０－１１３８）[m
飞花两岸照船红，百里榆堤半日风。
卧看满天云不动，不知云与我俱东。
`,
	`[32m《渔翁》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
渔翁夜傍西岩宿，晓汲清湘燃楚竹。
烟销日出不见人，ꆼ乃一声山水绿。
回看天际下中流，岩上无心云相逐。
`,
	`[32m《终南望余雪》[m
[33m作者：祖咏[m
终南阴岭秀，积雪浮云端。
林表明霁色，城中增暮寒。
`,
	`[32m题目:《襄邑道中》[m
[33m作者:陈与义（１０９０－１１３８）[m
飞花两岸照船红，百里榆堤半日风。
卧看满天云不动，不知云与我俱东。
`,
	`[32m《江乡故人偶集客舍》[m
[33m作者：戴叔伦[m
天秋月又满，城阙夜千重。
还作江南会，翻疑梦里逢。
风枝惊暗鹊，露草覆寒虫。
羁旅长堪醉，相留畏晓钟。
`,
	`[32m《寻隐者不遇》[m
[33m作者：贾岛[m
松下问童子，言师采药去。
只在此山中，云深不知处。
`,
	`[32m题目:《宿甘露寺僧舍》[m
[33m作者:曾公亮（９９８－１０７８）[m
枕中云气千峰近，床底松声万壑哀。
要看银山拍天浪，开窗放入大江来。
`,
	`[32m《列女操》[m
[33m作者：孟郊[m
梧桐相待老，鸳鸯会双死。
贞妇贵殉夫，舍生亦如此。
波澜誓不起，妾心井中水。
`,
	`[32m题目:《四时田园杂兴》（选一）[m
[33m作者:范成大（１１２６－１１９３）[m
昼出耘田夜绩麻，村庄儿女各当家。
童孙未解供耕织，也傍桑阴学种瓜。
`,
	`[32m《渔翁》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
渔翁夜傍西岩宿，晓汲清湘燃楚竹。
烟销日出不见人，ꆼ乃一声山水绿。
回看天际下中流，岩上无心云相逐。
`,
	`[32m《咏怀古迹・其五》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
诸葛大名垂宇宙，宗臣遣像肃清高。
三分割据纡筹策，万古云霄一羽毛。
伯仲之间见伊吕，指挥若定失萧曹。
运移汉祚终难复，志决身歼军务劳。
`,
	`[32m《八阵图》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
功盖三分国，名成八阵图。
江流石不转，遣恨失吞吴。
`,
	`[32m题目:《城南感怀呈永叔》[m
[33m作者:苏舜钦（１００８－１０４８）[m
春阳泛野动，春阴与天低。
远林气蔼蔼，长道风依依。
览物虽暂适，感怀翻然移。
所见既可骇，所闻良可悲。
去年水后旱，田亩不及犁。
冬温晚得雪，宿麦生者稀。
前去固无望，即日已苦饥。
老稚满田野，斫掘寻凫茈。
此物近亦尽，卷耳共所资。
昔云能驱风，充腹理不疑；
今乃有毒厉，肠胃生疮痍。
十月七八死，当路横其尸。
犬彘咋其骨，乌鸢啄其皮。
胡为残良民，令此鸟兽肥？
天岂意如此？泱荡莫可知！
高位厌梁肉，坐论搀云霓。
岂无富人术，使之长熙熙？
我今饥伶俜，悯此复自思：
自济既不暇，将复奈尔为！
愁愤徒满胸，嵘［山＋“宏”去宀］不能齐。
`,
	`[32m《早寒江上有怀》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
木落雁南渡，北风江上寒。
我家襄水曲，遥隔楚云端。
乡泪客中尽，孤帆天际看。
迷津欲有问，平海夕漫漫。
`,
	`[32m《山石》[m
[33m作者：韩愈[m
山石荦确行径微，黄昏到寺蝙蝠飞。
升堂坐阶新雨足，芭蕉叶大栀子肥。
僧言古壁佛画好，以火来照所见稀。
铺床拂席置羹饭，疏粝亦足饱我饥。
夜深静卧百虫绝，清月出岭光入扉。
天明独去无道路，出入高下穷烟霏。
山红涧碧纷烂漫，时见松枥皆十围。
当流赤足踏涧石，水声激激风吹衣。
人生如此自可乐，岂必局束为人ꆼ。
嗟哉吾党二三子，安得至老不更归。
`,
	`[32m《和贾至舍人早朝大明宫之作》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
绛帻鸡人报晓筹，尚衣方进翠云裘。
九天阊阖开宫殿，万国衣冠拜冕旒。
日色才临仙掌动，香烟欲傍衮龙浮。
朝罢须裁五色诏，佩声归到凤池头。
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其二》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
昔日戏言身后事，今朝都到眼前来。
衣裳已施行看尽，针线犹存未忍开。
尚想旧情怜婢仆，也曾因梦送钱财。
诚知此恨人人有，贫贱夫妻百事哀。
`,
	`[32m《夜归鹿门山歌》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
山寺钟鸣昼已昏，渔梁渡头争渡喧。
人随沙路向江姑，余亦乘舟归鹿门。
鹿门月照开烟树，忽到庞公栖隐处。
岩扉松径长寂寥，惟有幽人自来去。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其三》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
名花倾国两相欢，常得君王带笑看。
解释春风无限恨，沉香亭北倚栏杆。
`,
	`[32m《怨情》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
美人卷珠帘，深坐蹙蛾眉。
但见泪痕湿，不知心恨谁。
`,
	`[32m《瑶瑟怨》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
冰簟银床梦不成，碧天如水夜云轻。
雁声远过潇湘去，十二楼中月自明。
`,
	`[32m《凉思》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
客去波平槛，蝉休露满枝。
永怀当此节，倚立自移时。
北斗兼春远，南陵寓使迟。
天涯占梦数，疑误有新知。
`,
	`[32m《送李中丞归汉阳别业》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
流落征南将，曾驱十万师。
罢官无旧业，老去恋明时。
独立三边静，轻生一剑知，
茫茫江汉上，日暮欲何之。
`,
	`[32m《寻陆鸿渐不遇》[m
[33m作者：僧皎然[m
移家虽带郭，野径入桑麻。
近种篱边菊，秋来未著花。
扣门无犬吠，欲去问西家。
报道山中去，归来每日斜。
`,
	`[32m《酬张少府》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
晚年惟好静，万事不关心。
自顾无长策，空知返旧林。
松风吹解带，山月照弹琴。
君问穷通理，渔歌入浦深。
`,
	`[32m《登金陵凤凰台》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
凤凰台上凤凰游，凤去台空江自流。
吴宫花草埋幽径，晋代衣冠成古丘。
三山半落青天外，二水中分白鹭洲。
总为浮云能蔽日，长安不见使人愁。
`,
	`[32m题目:《和子由踏青》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
春风陌上惊微尘，游人初乐岁华新。
人闲正好路旁饮，麦短未怕游车轮。
城中居人厌城郭，喧阗晓出空四邻。
歌鼓惊山草木动，箪瓢散野乌鸢驯。
何人聚众称道人，遮道卖符色怒嗔。
宜蚕使汝茧如瓮，宜畜使汝羊如□［鹿下菌字去草头］。
路人未必信此语，强为买符禳新春。
道人得钱径沽酒，醉倒自谓吾符神。
`,
	`[32m题目:《江村晚眺》[m
[33m作者:戴复古（１１６７－？）[m
江头落日照平沙，潮退渔船阁岸斜。
白鸟一双临水立，见人惊起入芦花。
`,
	`[32m《蜀道难》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
噫吁ꆼ，危呼高哉！
蜀道之难难于上青天。
蚕丛及鱼凫，开国何茫然。
尔来四万八千岁，始与秦塞通人烟。
西当太白有鸟道，可以横绝峨嵋巅。
地崩山摧壮士死，然后天梯石栈相钩连。
上有六龙回日之高标，下有冲波逆折之回川。
黄鹤之飞尚不得，猿猱欲度愁攀缘。
青泥何盘盘，百步九折萦岩峦。
扪参历井仰胁息，以手抚膺坐长叹。
问君西游何时还，畏途ꆼ岩不可攀。
但见悲鸟号古木，雄飞雌从绕林间。
又闻子规啼夜月，愁空山。
蜀道之难难于上青天，使人听此凋朱颜。
连峰去天不盈尺，枯松倒挂倚绝壁。
飞湍瀑流争喧ꆼ，石冰崖转石万壑雷。
其险也若此，嗟尔远道之人，胡为呼来哉。
剑阁峥嵘而崔嵬，一夫当关，万夫莫开。
所守或匪亲，化为狼与豺。
朝避猛虎，夕避长蛇。
磨牙吮血，杀人如麻。
锦城虽云乐，不如早还家。
蜀道之难难于上青天，侧身西望长咨嗟。
`,
	`[32m《赠卫八处士》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
人生不相见，动如参与商。
今夕复何夕，共此灯烛光。
少壮能几时，鬓发各已苍。
访旧半为鬼，惊呼热中肠。
焉知二十载，重上君子堂。
昔别君未婚，儿女忽成行。
怡然敬父执，问我来何方。
问答乃未已，驱儿罗酒浆。
夜雨剪春韭，新炊间黄粱。
主称会面难，一举累十觞。
十觞亦不醉，感子故意长。
明日隔山岳，世事两茫茫。
`,
	`[32m《望蓟门》[m
[33m作者：祖咏[m
燕台一去客心惊，笳鼓喧喧汉将营。
万里寒光生积雪，三边曙色动危旌，
沙场烽火侵胡月，海畔云山拥蓟城。
少小虽非投笔吏，论功还欲请长缨。
`,
	`[32m题目:《秋日》[m
[33m作者:程颢（１０３２－１０８５）[m
闲来无事不从容，睡觉东窗日已红。
万物静观皆自得，四时佳兴与人同。
道通天地有形外，思入风云变态中。
富贵不淫贫贱乐，男儿到此是豪雄。
`,
	`[32m题目:《东溪》[m
[33m作者:梅尧臣（１００２－１０６０）[m
行到东溪看水时，坐临孤屿发船迟。
野凫眠岸有闲意，老树着花无丑枝。
短短蒲耳齐似剪，平平沙石净于筛。
情虽不厌住不得，薄暮归来车马疲。
%    
[32m题目:《鲁山山行》[m
[33m作者:梅尧臣（１００２－１０６０）[m
适与野情惬，千山高复低。
好峰随处改，幽径独行迷。
霜落熊升树，林空鹿饮溪。
人家在何许？云外一声鸡。
`,
	`[32m《夏日南亭怀辛大》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
山光忽西落，池月渐东上。
散发乘夕凉，开轩卧闲敞。
荷风送香气，竹露滴清响。
欲取鸣琴弹，恨无知音赏。
感此怀故人，中宵劳梦想。
`,
	`[32m《何满子》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
故国三千里，深宫二十年。
一声何满子，双泪落君前。
`,
	`[32m《自河南经乱,关内阻饥,兄弟离散,各在一处.因望月有感,聊书所怀,寄上浮梁大兄,于潜七兄,乌江十五兄,兼示符离及下ꆼ弟妹》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
时难年荒世业空，弟兄羁旅各西东。
田园寥落干戈后，骨肉流离道路中。
吊影分为千里雁，辞根散作九秋蓬。
共看明月应垂泪，一夜乡心五处同。
`,
	`[32m《长恨歌》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
汉皇重色思倾国，御宇多年求不得。
杨家有女初长成，养在深闺人未识。
天生丽质难自弃，一朝选在君王侧。
回眸一笑百媚生，六宫粉黛无颜色。
春寒赐浴华清池，温泉水滑洗凝脂。
侍儿扶起娇无力，始是新承恩泽时。
云鬓花颜金步摇，芙蓉帐暖度春宵。
春宵苦短日高起，从此君王不早朝。
承欢侍宴无闲暇，春从春游夜专夜。
后宫佳丽三千人，三千宠爱在一身。
金屋妆成娇侍夜，玉楼宴罢醉和春。
姊妹弟兄皆列土，可怜光彩生门户。
遂令天下父母心，不重生男重生女。
骊宫高处入青云，仙乐风飘处处闻。
缓歌谩舞凝丝竹，尽日君王看不足。
渔阳鼙鼓动地来，惊破霓裳羽衣曲。
九重城阙烟尘生，千乘万骑西南行。
翠华摇摇行复止，西出都门百余里。
六军不发无奈何，宛转蛾眉马前死。
花钿委地无人收，翠翘金雀玉搔头。
君王掩面救不得，回看血泪相和流。
黄埃散漫风萧索，云栈萦纡登剑阁。
峨嵋山下少人行，旌旗无光日色薄。
蜀江水碧蜀山青，圣主朝朝暮暮情。
行宫见月伤心色，夜雨闻铃肠断声。
天旋地转回龙驭，到此踌躇不能去。
马嵬坡下泥土中，不见玉颜空死处。
君臣相顾尽沾衣，东望都门信马归。
归来池苑皆依旧，太液芙蓉未央柳。
芙蓉如面柳如眉，对此如何不泪垂。
春风桃李花开日，秋雨梧桐叶落时。
西宫南内多秋草，落叶满阶红不扫。
梨园弟子白发新，椒房阿监青娥老。
夕殿萤飞思悄然，孤灯挑尽未成眠。
迟迟钟鼓初长夜，耿耿星河欲曙天。
鸳鸯瓦冷霜华重，翡翠衾寒谁与共。
悠悠生死别经年，魂魄不曾来入梦。
临邛道士鸿都客，能以精诚致魂魄。
为感君王辗转思，遂教方士殷勤觅。
排空驭气奔如电，升天入地求之遍。
上穷碧落下黄泉，两处茫茫皆不见。
忽闻海上有仙山，山在虚无缥渺间。
楼阁玲珑五云起，其中绰约多仙子。
中有一人字太真，雪肤花貌参差是。
金阙西厢叩玉扃，转教小玉报双成。
闻道汉家天子使，九华帐里梦魂惊。
揽衣推枕起徘徊，珠箔银屏迤逦开。
云鬓半偏新睡觉，花冠不整下堂来。
风吹仙袂飘飘举，犹似霓裳羽衣舞。
玉容寂寞泪阑干，梨花一枝春带雨。
含情凝睇谢君王，一别音容两渺茫。
昭阳殿里恩爱绝，蓬莱宫中日月长。
回头下望人寰处，不见长安见尘雾。
惟将旧物表深情，钿合金钗寄将去。
钗留一股合一扇，钗擘黄金合分钿。
但教心似金钿坚，天上人间会相见。
临别殷勤重寄词，词中有誓两心知。
七月七日长生殿，夜半无人私语时。
在天愿作比翼鸟，在地愿为连理枝。
天长地久有时尽，此恨绵绵无绝期。
`,
	`[32m《问刘十九》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
绿蚁新醅酒，红泥小火炉。
晚来天欲雪，能饮一杯无。
`,
	`[32m《春思》[m
[33m作者：皇甫冉[m
莺啼燕语报新年，马邑龙堆路几千。
家住层城临汉苑，心随明月到胡天。
机中锦字论长恨，楼上花枝笑独眠。
为问元戎窦车骑，何时返旆勒燕然。
`,
	`[32m《宿府》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
清秋幕府井梧寒，独宿江城蜡炬残。
永夜角声悲自语，中庭月色好谁看。
风尘荏苒音书绝，关塞萧条行路难。
已忍伶俜十年事，强移栖息一枝安。
`,
	`[32m题目:《观棋长吟》[m
[33m作者:邵雍（１０１１－１０７７）[m
院静春深昼掩扉，竹间闲看客争棋。
搜罗神鬼聚胸臆，措臻山河入范围。
局合龙蛇成阵斗，劫残鸿雁破行飞；
杀多项羽坑秦卒，败剧符坚畏晋师。
座上戈铤尝击搏，面前冰炭旋更移；
死生共抵两家事，胜负都由一着时。
当路断无相假借，对人须且强推辞；
腹心受害诚堪惧，唇齿生忧尚可医；
善用中伤为得策，阴行狡狯谓知机。
请观今日长安道，易地何尝不有之？
`,
	`[32m《送孟浩然之广陵》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
故人西辞黄鹤楼，烟花三月下扬州。
孤帆远影碧空尽，惟见长江天际流。
`,
	`[32m《蜀相》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
丞相祠堂何处寻，锦官城外柏森森。
映阶碧草自春色，隔叶黄鹂空好音。
三顾频烦天下计，两朝开济老臣心。
出师未捷身先死，长使英雄泪满襟。
`,
	`[32m《寄韩谏议》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
今我不乐思岳阳，身欲奋飞病在床。
美人娟娟隔秋水，濯足洞庭望八荒。
鸿飞冥冥日月白，青枫叶赤天雨霜。
玉京群帝集北斗，或骑麒麟翳凤凰。
芙蓉旌旗烟雾落，影动倒景摇潇湘。
星宫之君醉琼浆，羽人稀少不在旁。
似闻昨者赤松子，恐是汉代韩张良。
昔随刘氏定长安，帷幄未改神惨伤。
国家成败吾岂敢，色难腥腐餐枫香。
周南留滞古所惜，南极老人应寿昌。
美人胡为隔秋水，焉得置之贡玉堂。
`,
	`[32m题目:《山中寄招叶秀才》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
夜鹤晓猿时复闻，寥寥长似耿离群。
月中未要恨丹桂，岭上且来看白云。
棋子不妨临水着，诗题兼好共僧分。
新忧他日荣名后，难得幽栖事静君。
`,
	`[32m《寄扬州韩绰判官》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
青山隐隐水迢迢，秋尽江南草未凋。
二十四桥明月夜，玉人何处教吹箫。
`,
	`[32m题目:《无题》[m
[33m作者:杨亿（９６４－１０２０）[m
巫阳归梦融千峰，辟恶香消翠被浓。
桂魄渐亏愁晓月，蕉心不展怨春风。
遥山黯黯眉长敛，一水盈盈语未通。
漫托［昆鸟］弦传恨意，云鬟日夕似飞蓬。
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其一》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
谢公最小偏怜女，自嫁黔娄百事乖。
顾我无衣搜荩箧，泥他沽酒拔金钗。
野蔬充膳甘长藿，落叶添薪仰古槐。
今日俸钱过十万，与君营奠复营斋。
`,
	`[32m题目:《正月二十日与潘郭二生出郊寻春，忽记去年是日同至女王城作诗，乃和前韵》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
东风未肯入东门，走马还寻去岁春。
人似秋鸿来有信，事如春梦了无痕。
江城白酒三杯酽，野老苍颜一笑温。
已约年年为此会，故人不用赋招魂。
`,
	`[32m《西塞山怀古》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
王浚楼船下益州，金陵王气黯然收。
千寻铁锁沉江底，一片降幡出石头。
人世几回伤往事，山形依旧枕寒流。
从今四海为家日，故垒萧萧芦荻秋。
`,
	`[32m《蜀相》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
丞相祠堂何处寻，锦官城外柏森森。
映阶碧草自春色，隔叶黄鹂空好音。
三顾频烦天下计，两朝开济老臣心。
出师未捷身先死，长使英雄泪满襟。
`,
	`[32m《北青萝》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
残阳西入崦，茅屋访孤僧。
落叶人何在，寒云路几层。
独敲初夜磬，闲倚一枝藤。
世界微尘里，吾宁爱与憎。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寒食》[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m
今年寒食在商山，山里风光亦可怜：
稚子就花拈蛱蝶，人家依树系秋千。
郊原晓绿初经雨，巷陌春阴乍禁烟。
副使官闲莫惆怅，酒钱犹有撰碑钱。
`,
	`[32m题目:《明妃曲》二首[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m

            其一

明妃初出汉宫时，泪湿春风鬓脚垂。
低徊顾影无颜色，尚得君王不自持。
归来却怪丹青手，入眼平生几曾有；
意态由来画不成，当时枉杀毛延寿。
一去心知更不归，可怜着尽汉宫衣；
寄声欲问塞南事，只有年年鸿雁飞。
家人万里传消息，好在毡城莫相忆；
君不见咫尺长门闭阿娇，人生失意无南北。


            其二

明妃初嫁与胡儿，毡车百辆皆胡姬。
含情欲语独无处，传与琵琶心自知。
黄金杆拨春风手，弹看飞鸿劝胡酒。
汉宫侍女暗垂泪，沙上行人却回首。
汉恩自浅胡恩深，人生乐在相知心。
可怜青冢已芜没，尚有哀弦留至今。
`,
	`[32m《长干行》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
妾发初覆额，折花门前剧。
郎骑竹马来，绕床弄青梅。
同居长干里，两小无嫌猜。
十四为君妇，羞颜未尝开。
低头向暗壁，千唤不一回。
十五始展眉，愿同尘与灰。
常存抱柱信，岂上望夫台。
十六君远行，瞿塘滟预堆。
五月不可触，猿声天上哀。
门前迟行迹，一一生绿苔。
苔深不能扫，落叶秋风早。
八月蝴蝶黄，双飞西园草。
感此伤妾心，坐愁红颜老。
早晚下三巴，预将书报家。
相迎不道远，直至长风沙。
`,
	`[32m《春雨》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
怅卧新春白袷衣，白门寥落意多违。
红楼隔雨相望冷，珠箔飘灯独自归。
远路应悲春ꆼ晚，残宵犹得梦依稀。
玉ꆼ缄札何由达，万里云罗一雁飞。
`,
	`[32m题目:《东溪》[m
[33m作者:梅尧臣（１００２－１０６０）[m
行到东溪看水时，坐临孤屿发船迟。
野凫眠岸有闲意，老树着花无丑枝。
短短蒲耳齐似剪，平平沙石净于筛。
情虽不厌住不得，薄暮归来车马疲。
%    
[32m题目:《鲁山山行》[m
[33m作者:梅尧臣（１００２－１０６０）[m
适与野情惬，千山高复低。
好峰随处改，幽径独行迷。
霜落熊升树，林空鹿饮溪。
人家在何许？云外一声鸡。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其二》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
一枝红艳露凝香，云雨巫山枉断肠。
借问汉宫谁得似，可怜飞燕倚新妆。
`,
	`[32m《山石》[m
[33m作者：韩愈[m
山石荦确行径微，黄昏到寺蝙蝠飞。
升堂坐阶新雨足，芭蕉叶大栀子肥。
僧言古壁佛画好，以火来照所见稀。
铺床拂席置羹饭，疏粝亦足饱我饥。
夜深静卧百虫绝，清月出岭光入扉。
天明独去无道路，出入高下穷烟霏。
山红涧碧纷烂漫，时见松枥皆十围。
当流赤足踏涧石，水声激激风吹衣。
人生如此自可乐，岂必局束为人ꆼ。
嗟哉吾党二三子，安得至老不更归。
`,
	`[32m《寄李儋元锡》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
去年花里逢君别，今日花开又一年。
世事茫茫难自料，春愁黯黯独成眠。
身多疾病思田里，邑有流亡愧俸钱。
闻道欲来相问讯，西楼望月几回圆。
`,
	`[32m题目:《喜太守毕朝散致政》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
功名富贵两蜗角，险阻艰难一酒杯。
百体观来身是幻，万夫争处首先回。
`,
	`[32m《嫦娥》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
云母屏风烛影深，长河渐落晓星沉。
嫦娥应悔偷灵药，碧海青天夜夜心。
`,
	`[32m《金陵酒肆留别》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
风吹柳花满店香，吴姬压酒唤客尝。
金陵子弟来相送，欲行不行各尽觞。
请君试问东流水，别意与之谁短长。
`,
	`[32m《长恨歌》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
汉皇重色思倾国，御宇多年求不得。
杨家有女初长成，养在深闺人未识。
天生丽质难自弃，一朝选在君王侧。
回眸一笑百媚生，六宫粉黛无颜色。
春寒赐浴华清池，温泉水滑洗凝脂。
侍儿扶起娇无力，始是新承恩泽时。
云鬓花颜金步摇，芙蓉帐暖度春宵。
春宵苦短日高起，从此君王不早朝。
承欢侍宴无闲暇，春从春游夜专夜。
后宫佳丽三千人，三千宠爱在一身。
金屋妆成娇侍夜，玉楼宴罢醉和春。
姊妹弟兄皆列土，可怜光彩生门户。
遂令天下父母心，不重生男重生女。
骊宫高处入青云，仙乐风飘处处闻。
缓歌谩舞凝丝竹，尽日君王看不足。
渔阳鼙鼓动地来，惊破霓裳羽衣曲。
九重城阙烟尘生，千乘万骑西南行。
翠华摇摇行复止，西出都门百余里。
六军不发无奈何，宛转蛾眉马前死。
花钿委地无人收，翠翘金雀玉搔头。
君王掩面救不得，回看血泪相和流。
黄埃散漫风萧索，云栈萦纡登剑阁。
峨嵋山下少人行，旌旗无光日色薄。
蜀江水碧蜀山青，圣主朝朝暮暮情。
行宫见月伤心色，夜雨闻铃肠断声。
天旋地转回龙驭，到此踌躇不能去。
马嵬坡下泥土中，不见玉颜空死处。
君臣相顾尽沾衣，东望都门信马归。
归来池苑皆依旧，太液芙蓉未央柳。
芙蓉如面柳如眉，对此如何不泪垂。
春风桃李花开日，秋雨梧桐叶落时。
西宫南内多秋草，落叶满阶红不扫。
梨园弟子白发新，椒房阿监青娥老。
夕殿萤飞思悄然，孤灯挑尽未成眠。
迟迟钟鼓初长夜，耿耿星河欲曙天。
鸳鸯瓦冷霜华重，翡翠衾寒谁与共。
悠悠生死别经年，魂魄不曾来入梦。
临邛道士鸿都客，能以精诚致魂魄。
为感君王辗转思，遂教方士殷勤觅。
排空驭气奔如电，升天入地求之遍。
上穷碧落下黄泉，两处茫茫皆不见。
忽闻海上有仙山，山在虚无缥渺间。
楼阁玲珑五云起，其中绰约多仙子。
中有一人字太真，雪肤花貌参差是。
金阙西厢叩玉扃，转教小玉报双成。
闻道汉家天子使，九华帐里梦魂惊。
揽衣推枕起徘徊，珠箔银屏迤逦开。
云鬓半偏新睡觉，花冠不整下堂来。
风吹仙袂飘飘举，犹似霓裳羽衣舞。
玉容寂寞泪阑干，梨花一枝春带雨。
含情凝睇谢君王，一别音容两渺茫。
昭阳殿里恩爱绝，蓬莱宫中日月长。
回头下望人寰处，不见长安见尘雾。
惟将旧物表深情，钿合金钗寄将去。
钗留一股合一扇，钗擘黄金合分钿。
但教心似金钿坚，天上人间会相见。
临别殷勤重寄词，词中有誓两心知。
七月七日长生殿，夜半无人私语时。
在天愿作比翼鸟，在地愿为连理枝。
天长地久有时尽，此恨绵绵无绝期。
`,
	`[32m《哀王孙》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
长安城头头白乌，夜飞延秋门上呼。
又向人家啄大屋，屋底达官走避胡。
金鞭断折九马死，骨肉不待同驰驱。
腰下宝ꆼ青珊瑚，可怜王孙泣路隅。
问之不肯道姓名，但道困苦乞为奴。
已经百日窜荆棘，身上无有完肌肤。
高帝子孙尽隆准，龙种自与常人殊。
豺狼在邑龙在野，王孙善保千金躯。
不敢长语临交衢，且为王孙立斯须。
昨夜东风吹血腥，东来橐驼满旧都。
朔方健儿好身手，昔何勇锐今何愚。
窃闻天子已传位，圣德北服南单于。
花门ꆼ面请雪耻，慎勿出口他人狙。
哀哉王孙慎勿疏，五陵佳气无时无。
`,
	`[32m《送梓州李使君》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
万壑树参天，千山响杜鹃。
山中一夜雨，树杪百重泉。
汉女输ꆼ布，巴人讼芋田。
文翁翻教授，不敢倚先贤。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日即事》[m
[33m作者:吕本中（１０８４－１１４５）[m
病起多情白日迟，强来庭下探花期。
雪消池馆初春后，人倚栏杆欲暮时。
乱蝶狂蜂俱有意，兔葵燕麦自无知。
池边垂柳腰支活，折尽长条为寄谁？
`,
	`[32m《山石》[m
[33m作者：韩愈[m
山石荦确行径微，黄昏到寺蝙蝠飞。
升堂坐阶新雨足，芭蕉叶大栀子肥。
僧言古壁佛画好，以火来照所见稀。
铺床拂席置羹饭，疏粝亦足饱我饥。
夜深静卧百虫绝，清月出岭光入扉。
天明独去无道路，出入高下穷烟霏。
山红涧碧纷烂漫，时见松枥皆十围。
当流赤足踏涧石，水声激激风吹衣。
人生如此自可乐，岂必局束为人ꆼ。
嗟哉吾党二三子，安得至老不更归。
`,
	`[32m《临洞庭上张丞相》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
八月湖水平，涵虚混太清。
气蒸云梦泽，波撼岳阳城。
欲济无舟楫，端居耻圣明。
坐观垂钓者，徒有羡鱼情。
`,
	`[32m《渡汉江》[m
[33m作者：李频[m
岭外音书绝，经冬复立春。
近乡情更怯，不敢问来人。
`,
	`[32m《寻南溪常山道人隐居》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
一路经行处，莓苔见屐痕。
白云依静渚，芳草闭闲门。
过雨看松色，随山到水源。
溪花与禅意，相对亦忘言。
`,
	`[32m《石鼓歌》[m
[33m作者：韩愈[m
张生手持石鼓文，劝我试作石鼓歌。
少陵无人谪仙死，才薄将奈石鼓何。
周纲凌迟四海沸，宣王愤起挥天戈。
大开明堂受朝贺，诸侯剑佩鸣相磨。
搜于岐阳骋雄俊，万里禽兽皆遮罗。
镌功勒成告万世，凿石作鼓隳嵯峨。
从臣才艺咸第一，拣选撰刻留山阿。
雨淋日炙野火燎，鬼物守护烦[扌为]呵。
公从何处得纸本，毫发尽备无差讹。
辞严义密读难晓，字体不类隶与蝌。
年深岂免有缺画，快剑砍断生蛟鼍。
鸾翔凤翥众仙下，珊瑚碧树交枝柯。
金绳铁索锁钮壮，古鼎跃水龙腾梭。
陋儒编诗不收入，二雅褊迫无委蛇。
孔子西行不到秦，掎摭星宿遗羲娥。
嗟余好古生苦晚，对此涕泪双滂沱。
忆昔初蒙博士征，其年始改称元和。
古人从军在右辅，为我度量掘臼科。
濯冠沐浴告祭酒，如此至宝存岂多。
毡包席裹可立致，十鼓只载数骆驼。
荐诸太庙比郜鼎，光价岂止百倍过。
圣恩若许留太学，诸生讲解得切磋。
观经鸿都尚填咽，坐见举国来奔波。
剜苔剔藓露节角，安置妥帖平不颇。
大厦深檐与覆盖，经历久远期无陀。
中朝大官老于事，讵肯感激徒ꆼ婀。
牧童敲火牛砺角，谁复著手为摩挲。
日销月铄就埋没，六年西顾空吟哦。
羲之俗书趁姿媚，数纸尚可博白鹅。
继周八代争战罢，无人收拾理则那。
方今太平日无事，柄任儒术崇丘轲。
安能以此上论列，愿借辩口如悬河。
石鼓之歌止于此，呜呼吾意其蹉跎。
`,
	`[32m题目:《山中寄招叶秀才》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
夜鹤晓猿时复闻，寥寥长似耿离群。
月中未要恨丹桂，岭上且来看白云。
棋子不妨临水着，诗题兼好共僧分。
新忧他日荣名后，难得幽栖事静君。
`,
	`[32m《关山月》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
明月出天山，苍茫云海间。
长风几万里，吹度玉门关。
汉下白登道，胡窥青海湾。
由来征战地，不见有人还。
戍客望边色，思归多苦颜。
高楼当此夜，叹息未应闲。
`,
	`[32m《淮上喜会梁川故人》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
江汉曾为客，相逢每醉还。
浮云一别后，流水十年间。
欢笑情如旧，萧疏鬓已斑。
何因北归去，淮上对秋山。
`,
	`[32m《酬程延秋夜即事见赠》[m
[33m作者：韩ꆼ[m
长簟迎风早，空城澹月华。
星河秋一雁，砧杵夜千家。
节候看应晚，心期卧已赊。
向来吟秀句，不觉已鸣鸦。
`,
	`[32m《九月九日忆山东兄弟》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲。
遥知兄弟登高处，遍插茱萸少一人。
`,
	`[32m《韦讽录事宅观曹将军画马图》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
国初已来画鞍马，神妙独数江都王。
将军得名三十载，人间又见真乘黄。
曾貌先帝照夜白，龙池十日飞霹雳。
内府殷红玛瑙盘，婕妤传诏才人索。
盘赐将军拜舞归，轻纨细绮相追飞。
贵戚权门得笔迹，始觉屏障生光辉。
昔日太宗拳毛ꆼ，近时郭家狮子花。
今之新图有二马，复令识者久叹嗟。
此皆骑战一敌万，缟素漠漠开风沙。
其余七匹亦殊绝，迥若寒空动烟雪。
霜蹄蹴踏长揪间，马官厮养森成列。
可怜九马争神骏，顾视清高气深稳。
借问苦心爱者谁，后有韦讽前支遁。
忆昔巡幸新丰宫，翠华拂天来向东。
腾骧磊落三万匹，皆与此图筋骨同。
自从献宝朝河宗，无复射蛟江水中。
君不见金粟堆前松柏里，龙媒去尽鸟呼风。
`,
	`[32m《洛阳女儿行》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
洛阳女儿对门居，才可容颜十五余。
良人玉勒乘骢马，侍女金盘脍鲤鱼。
画阁朱楼尽相望，红桃绿柳垂檐向。
罗帏送上七香车，宝扇迎归九华帐。
狂夫富贵在青春，意气骄奢剧季伦。
自怜碧玉亲教舞，不惜珊瑚持与人。
春窗曙灭九微火，九微片片飞花ꆼ。
戏罢曾无理曲时，妆成只是熏香坐。
城中相识尽繁华，日夜经过赵李家。
谁怜越女颜如玉，贫贱江头自浣沙。
`,
	`[32m《赠孟浩然》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
吾爱孟夫子，风流天下闻。
红颜弃轩冕，白首卧松云。
醉月频中圣，迷花不事君。
高山安可仰，徒此揖清芬。
`,
	`[32m《竹里馆》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
独坐幽篁里，弹琴复长啸。
深林人不知，明月来相照。
`,
	`[32m题目:《庆州败》[m
[33m作者:苏舜钦（１００８－１０４８）[m
无战王者师，有备军之志。
天下承平数十年，此语虽存人所弃。
今岁西戎背世盟，直随秋风寇边城。
屠杀熟户烧障堡，十万驰骋山岳倾。
国家防塞今有谁？官为承制乳臭儿。
酣觞大嚼乃事业，何尝识会兵之机？
符移火急搜卒乘，意谓就戮如缚尸。
未成一军已出战，驱逐急使缘［山佥］［山＋繁体“戏”字］。
马肥甲重士饱喘，虽有弓剑何所施。
连颠自欲堕深谷，虏骑笑指声嘻嘻。
一麾发伏雁行出，山下掩截成重围。
我军免胄乞死所，承制面缚交涕［氵夷］。
逡巡下令艺者全，争献小技歌且吹。
其余劓首放之去，东走矢液皆淋漓。
道无耳准若怪兽，不自愧耻犹生归！
守者沮气陷者苦，尽由主将之所为。
地机不见欲侥胜，羞辱中国堪伤悲。
`,
	`[32m《灞上秋居》[m
[33m作者：马戴[m
灞原风雨定，晚见雁行频。
落叶他乡树，寒灯独夜人。
空园白露滴，孤壁野僧邻。
寄卧郊扉久，何年致此身。
`,
	`[32m《谒衡岳庙遂宿岳寺题门楼》[m
[33m作者：韩愈[m
五岳祭秩皆三公，四方环镇嵩当中。
火维地荒足妖怪，天假神柄专其雄。
喷云泄雾藏半腹，虽有绝顶谁能穷。
我来正逢秋雨节，阴气晦味无清风。
潜心默祷若有应，岂非正直能感通。
须臾静扫众峰出，仰见突兀撑青空。
紫盖连延接天柱，石廪腾掷堆祝融。
森然魄动下马拜，松柏一径趋灵宫。
粉墙丹柱动光彩，鬼物图画填青红。
升阶伛偻荐脯酒，欲以菲薄明其衷。
庙内老人识神意，睢盱侦伺能鞠躬。
手持杯蛟导我掷，云此最吉余难同。
窜逐蛮荒幸不死，衣食才足甘长终。
侯王将相望久绝，神纵欲福难为功。
夜投佛寺上高阁，星月掩映云ꆼꆼ。
猿鸣钟动不知曙，杲杲寒日生于东。
`,
	`[32m《晚次鄂州》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
云开远见汉阳城，犹是孤帆一日程。
估客昼眠知浪静，舟人夜语觉潮生。
三湘愁鬓逢秋色，万里归心对月明。
旧业已随征战尽，更堪江上鼓鼙声。
`,
	`[32m《游子吟》[m
[33m作者：孟郊[m
慈母手中线，游子身上衣。
临行密密缝，意恐迟迟归。
谁言寸草心，报得三春晖。
`,
	`[32m题目:《游山西村》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
莫笑农家腊酒浑，丰年留客足鸡豚。
山重水复疑无路，柳暗花明又一村。
萧鼓追随春社近，衣冠简朴古风存。
从今若许闲乘月，拄杖无时夜叩门。
`,
	`[32m《西施咏》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
艳色天下重，西施宁久微。
朝为越溪女，暮作吴宫妃。
贱日岂殊众，贵来方悟稀。
邀人傅粉粉，不自著罗衣。
君宠益娇态，君怜无是非。
当时浣纱伴，莫得同车归。
持谢邻家子，效颦安可希。
`,
	`[32m《闻官军收河南河北》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
剑外忽传收蓟北，初闻涕泪满衣裳。
却看妻子愁何在，漫卷诗书喜欲狂。
白日放歌须纵酒，青春作伴好还乡。
即从巴峡穿巫峡，便下襄阳向洛阳。
`,
	`[32m《听董大弹胡笳声兼寄语弄房给事》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
蔡女昔造胡笳声，一弹一十有八拍。
胡人落泪沾边草，汉使断肠对归客。
古戍苍苍烽火寒，大荒沈沈飞雪白。
先拂商弦后角羽，四郊秋叶惊[扌戚][扌戚]。
董夫子，通神明，深山窃听来妖精。
言迟更速皆应手，将往复旋如有情。
空山百鸟散还合，万里浮云阴且晴。
嘶酸雏雁失群夜，断绝胡儿恋母声。
川为静其波，鸟亦罢其鸣。
乌孙部落家乡远，逻娑沙尘哀怨生。
幽音变调忽飘洒，长风吹林雨堕瓦。
迸泉飒飒飞木末，野鹿呦呦走堂下。
长安城连东掖垣，凤凰池对青琐门。
高才脱略名与利，日夕望君抱琴至。
`,
	`[32m《桃源行》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
渔舟逐水爱山春，两岸桃花夹去津。
坐看红树不知远，行尽青溪忽视人。
山口潜行始隈ꆼ，山开旷望旋平陆。
遥看一处攒云树，近入千家散花竹。
樵客初传汉姓名，居人未改秦衣服。
居人共住武陵源，还从物外起田园。
月明松下房栊静，日出云中鸡犬喧。
惊闻俗客争来集，竞引还家问都邑。
平明闾巷扫花开，薄暮渔樵乘水入。
初因避地去人间，及至成仙遂不还。
峡里谁知有人事，世中遥望空云山。
不疑灵境难闻见，尘心未尽思乡县。
出洞无论隔山水，辞家终拟长游衍。
自谓经过旧不迷，安知峰壑今来变。
当时只记入山深，青溪几曲到云林。
春来遍是桃花水，不辨仙源何处寻。
`,
	`[32m《秋夕》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
银烛秋光冷画屏，轻罗小扇扑流萤。
天阶夜色凉如水，坐看牵牛织女星。
`,
	`[32m《登楼》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
花近高楼伤客心，万方多难此登临。
锦江春色来天地，玉垒浮云变古今。
北极朝廷终不改，西山寇盗莫相侵。
可怜后主还祠庙，日暮聊为梁父吟。
`,
	`[32m《逢入京使》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
故园东望路漫漫，双袖龙钟泪不干。
马上相逢无纸笔，凭君传语报平安。
`,
	`[32m《枫桥夜泊》[m
[33m作者：张继[m
月落乌啼霜满天，江枫渔火对愁眠。
姑苏城外寒山寺，夜半钟声到客船。
`,
	`[32m《长恨歌》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
汉皇重色思倾国，御宇多年求不得。
杨家有女初长成，养在深闺人未识。
天生丽质难自弃，一朝选在君王侧。
回眸一笑百媚生，六宫粉黛无颜色。
春寒赐浴华清池，温泉水滑洗凝脂。
侍儿扶起娇无力，始是新承恩泽时。
云鬓花颜金步摇，芙蓉帐暖度春宵。
春宵苦短日高起，从此君王不早朝。
承欢侍宴无闲暇，春从春游夜专夜。
后宫佳丽三千人，三千宠爱在一身。
金屋妆成娇侍夜，玉楼宴罢醉和春。
姊妹弟兄皆列土，可怜光彩生门户。
遂令天下父母心，不重生男重生女。
骊宫高处入青云，仙乐风飘处处闻。
缓歌谩舞凝丝竹，尽日君王看不足。
渔阳鼙鼓动地来，惊破霓裳羽衣曲。
九重城阙烟尘生，千乘万骑西南行。
翠华摇摇行复止，西出都门百余里。
六军不发无奈何，宛转蛾眉马前死。
花钿委地无人收，翠翘金雀玉搔头。
君王掩面救不得，回看血泪相和流。
黄埃散漫风萧索，云栈萦纡登剑阁。
峨嵋山下少人行，旌旗无光日色薄。
蜀江水碧蜀山青，圣主朝朝暮暮情。
行宫见月伤心色，夜雨闻铃肠断声。
天旋地转回龙驭，到此踌躇不能去。
马嵬坡下泥土中，不见玉颜空死处。
君臣相顾尽沾衣，东望都门信马归。
归来池苑皆依旧，太液芙蓉未央柳。
芙蓉如面柳如眉，对此如何不泪垂。
春风桃李花开日，秋雨梧桐叶落时。
西宫南内多秋草，落叶满阶红不扫。
梨园弟子白发新，椒房阿监青娥老。
夕殿萤飞思悄然，孤灯挑尽未成眠。
迟迟钟鼓初长夜，耿耿星河欲曙天。
鸳鸯瓦冷霜华重，翡翠衾寒谁与共。
悠悠生死别经年，魂魄不曾来入梦。
临邛道士鸿都客，能以精诚致魂魄。
为感君王辗转思，遂教方士殷勤觅。
排空驭气奔如电，升天入地求之遍。
上穷碧落下黄泉，两处茫茫皆不见。
忽闻海上有仙山，山在虚无缥渺间。
楼阁玲珑五云起，其中绰约多仙子。
中有一人字太真，雪肤花貌参差是。
金阙西厢叩玉扃，转教小玉报双成。
闻道汉家天子使，九华帐里梦魂惊。
揽衣推枕起徘徊，珠箔银屏迤逦开。
云鬓半偏新睡觉，花冠不整下堂来。
风吹仙袂飘飘举，犹似霓裳羽衣舞。
玉容寂寞泪阑干，梨花一枝春带雨。
含情凝睇谢君王，一别音容两渺茫。
昭阳殿里恩爱绝，蓬莱宫中日月长。
回头下望人寰处，不见长安见尘雾。
惟将旧物表深情，钿合金钗寄将去。
钗留一股合一扇，钗擘黄金合分钿。
但教心似金钿坚，天上人间会相见。
临别殷勤重寄词，词中有誓两心知。
七月七日长生殿，夜半无人私语时。
在天愿作比翼鸟，在地愿为连理枝。
天长地久有时尽，此恨绵绵无绝期。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日即事》[m
[33m作者:吕本中（１０８４－１１４５）[m
病起多情白日迟，强来庭下探花期。
雪消池馆初春后，人倚栏杆欲暮时。
乱蝶狂蜂俱有意，兔葵燕麦自无知。
池边垂柳腰支活，折尽长条为寄谁？
`,
	`[32m《马嵬坡》[m
[33m作者：郑畋[m
玄宗回马杨妃死，云雨难忘日月新。
终是圣明天子事，景阳宫井又何人。
`,
	`[32m《云阳馆与韩绅宿别》[m
[33m作者：司空曙[m
故人江海别，几度隔山川。
乍见翻疑梦，相悲各问年。
孤灯寒照雨，深竹暗浮烟。
更有明朝恨，离杯惜共传。
`,
	`[32m题目:《江村晚眺》[m
[33m作者:戴复古（１１６７－？）[m
江头落日照平沙，潮退渔船阁岸斜。
白鸟一双临水立，见人惊起入芦花。
`,
	`[32m题目:《初入淮河》（选一）[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m

船离洪泽岸头沙，人到淮河意不佳。
何必桑乾方是远，中流以北即天涯！
`,
	`[32m《江南曲》[m
[33m作者：李益[m
嫁得瞿塘贾，朝朝误妾期。
早知潮有信，嫁与弄潮儿。
`,
	`[32m《嫦娥》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
云母屏风烛影深，长河渐落晓星沉。
嫦娥应悔偷灵药，碧海青天夜夜心。
`,
	`[32m《过故人庄》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
故人具鸡黍，邀我至田家。
绿树村边合，青山郭外斜。
开轩面场圃，把酒话桑麻。
待到重阳日，还来就菊花。
`,
	`[32m《旅夜书怀》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
细草微风岸，危樯独夜舟。
星垂平野阔，月涌大江流。
名岂文章著，官应老病休，
飘飘何所似，天地一沙鸥。
`,
	`[32m《东郊》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
吏舍局终年，出郊旷清曙。
杨柳散和风，青山澹吾虑。
依丛适自憩，缘涧还复去。
微雨霭芳原，春鸠鸣何处。
乐幽心屡止，遵事迹犹遽。
终罢斯结庐，慕陶真可庶。
`,
	`[32m题目:《村行》[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m
马穿山径菊初黄，信马悠悠野兴长。
万壑有声含晚籁，数峰无语立斜阳。
棠梨叶落胭脂色，荞麦花开白雪香。
何事吟余忽惆怅，村桥原树似吾乡。
`,
	`[32m《送陈章甫》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
四月南风大麦黄，枣花未落桐叶长。
青山朝别暮还见，嘶马出门思旧乡。
陈侯立身何坦荡，虬须虎眉仍大颡。
腹中贮书一万卷，不肯低头在草莽。
东门沽酒饮我曹，心轻万事皆鸿毛。
醉卧不知白日暮，有时空望孤云高。
长河浪头连天黑，津口停舟渡不得。
郑国游人未及家，洛阳行子空叹息。
闻道故林相识多，罢官昨日今如何。
`,
	`[32m《哥舒歌》[m
[33m作者：西鄙人[m
北斗七星高，哥舒夜带刀。
至今窥牧马，不敢过临洮。
`,
	`[32m题目:《夏日怀友》[m
[33m作者:徐玑（１１６２－１２１４）[m
流水阶除静，孤眠得自由。
月生林欲晓，雨过夜如秋。
远忆荷花浦，谁吟杜若洲？
良宵恐无梦，有梦即俱游。
`,
	`[32m《登岳阳楼》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
昔闻洞庭水，今上岳阳楼。
吴楚东南坼，乾坤日夜浮。
亲朋无一字，老病有孤舟。
戎马关山北，凭轩涕泗流。
`,
	`[32m题目:《腊日游孤山访惠勤惠思二僧》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
天欲雪，云满湖，楼台明灭山有无。
水清出石鱼可数，林深无人鸟相呼。
腊日不归对妻孥，名寻道人实自娱。
道人之居在何许？宝云山前路盘纡。
孤山孤绝谁肯庐？道人有道山不孤。
纸窗竹屋深自暖，拥褐坐睡依团蒲。
天寒路远愁仆夫，整驾催归及未晡。
出山回望云木合，但见野鹘盘浮图。
兹游淡薄欢有余，到家恍如梦蘧蘧。
作诗火急追亡逋，清景一失后难摹。
`,
	`[32m题目:《村行》[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m
马穿山径菊初黄，信马悠悠野兴长。
万壑有声含晚籁，数峰无语立斜阳。
棠梨叶落胭脂色，荞麦花开白雪香。
何事吟余忽惆怅，村桥原树似吾乡。
`,
	`[32m题目:《明妃曲和王介甫作》其二[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
汉宫有佳人，天子初未识，
一朝随汉使，远嫁单于国。
绝色天下无，一失难再得，
虽能杀画工，于事竟何益？
耳目所及尚如此，万里安能制夷狄！
汉计诚已拙，女色难自夸。
明妃去时泪，洒向枝上花；
狂风日暮起，飘泊落谁家。
红颜胜人多薄命，莫怨春风当自嗟。
`,
	`[32m《玉台体》[m
[33m作者：权德舆[m
昨夜裙带解，今朝ꆼ子飞。
铅华不可弃，莫是藁砧归。
`,
	`[32m《送人东游》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
荒戌落黄叶，浩然离故关。
高风汉阳渡，初日郢门山。
江上几人在，天涯孤棹还。
何当重相见，樽酒慰离颜。
`,
	`[32m《客至》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
舍南舍北皆春水，但见群鸥日日来。
花径不曾缘客扫，蓬门今始为君开。
盘飧市远无兼味，樽酒家贫只旧醅。
肯与邻翁相对饮，隔离呼取尽余杯。
`,
	`[32m《寄韩谏议》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
今我不乐思岳阳，身欲奋飞病在床。
美人娟娟隔秋水，濯足洞庭望八荒。
鸿飞冥冥日月白，青枫叶赤天雨霜。
玉京群帝集北斗，或骑麒麟翳凤凰。
芙蓉旌旗烟雾落，影动倒景摇潇湘。
星宫之君醉琼浆，羽人稀少不在旁。
似闻昨者赤松子，恐是汉代韩张良。
昔随刘氏定长安，帷幄未改神惨伤。
国家成败吾岂敢，色难腥腐餐枫香。
周南留滞古所惜，南极老人应寿昌。
美人胡为隔秋水，焉得置之贡玉堂。
`,
	`[32m题目:《四时田园杂兴》（选一）[m
[33m作者:范成大（１１２６－１１９３）[m
昼出耘田夜绩麻，村庄儿女各当家。
童孙未解供耕织，也傍桑阴学种瓜。
`,
	`[32m《瑶瑟怨》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
冰簟银床梦不成，碧天如水夜云轻。
雁声远过潇湘去，十二楼中月自明。
`,
	`[32m《江州重别薛六柳八二员外》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
生涯岂料承优诏，世事空知学醉歌。
江上月明胡雁过，淮南木落楚山多。
寄身且喜沧洲近，顾影无如白发何。
今日龙钟人共老，愧君犹遣慎风波。
`,
	`[32m《隋宫》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
紫泉宫殿锁烟霞，欲取芜城作帝家。
玉玺不缘归日角，锦帆应是到天涯。
于今腐草无萤火，终古垂杨有暮鸦。
地下若逢陈后主，岂宜重问后庭花。
`,
	`[32m题目:《啼鸟》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
我遭谗口身落此，每闻巧言宜可憎。
春到山城苦寂寞，把盏常恨无娉婷。
花开鸟语辄自醉，醉与花鸟为交朋。
花能嫣然顾我笑，鸟劝我饮非无情。
身闲酒美惜光景，惟恐鸟散花飘零。
可笑灵均楚泽畔，离骚憔悴愁独醒。
`,
	`[32m《宫词》[m
[33m作者：朱庆余[m
寂寂花时闭院门，美人相并立琼轩。
含情欲说宫中事，鹦鹉前头不敢言。
`,
	`[32m题目:《江村晚眺》[m
[33m作者:戴复古（１１６７－？）[m
江头落日照平沙，潮退渔船阁岸斜。
白鸟一双临水立，见人惊起入芦花。
`,
	`[32m《感遇・其二》[m
[33m作者：张九龄[m
江南有丹桔，经冬犹绿林。
岂伊地气暖，自有岁寒心。
可以荐佳客，奈何阻重深。
运命唯所遇，循环不可寻。
徒言树桃李，此木岂无阴。
`,
	`[32m《寄韩谏议》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
今我不乐思岳阳，身欲奋飞病在床。
美人娟娟隔秋水，濯足洞庭望八荒。
鸿飞冥冥日月白，青枫叶赤天雨霜。
玉京群帝集北斗，或骑麒麟翳凤凰。
芙蓉旌旗烟雾落，影动倒景摇潇湘。
星宫之君醉琼浆，羽人稀少不在旁。
似闻昨者赤松子，恐是汉代韩张良。
昔随刘氏定长安，帷幄未改神惨伤。
国家成败吾岂敢，色难腥腐餐枫香。
周南留滞古所惜，南极老人应寿昌。
美人胡为隔秋水，焉得置之贡玉堂。
`,
	`[32m题目:《无题》[m
[33m作者:杨亿（９６４－１０２０）[m
巫阳归梦融千峰，辟恶香消翠被浓。
桂魄渐亏愁晓月，蕉心不展怨春风。
遥山黯黯眉长敛，一水盈盈语未通。
漫托［昆鸟］弦传恨意，云鬟日夕似飞蓬。
`,
	`[32m《望蓟门》[m
[33m作者：祖咏[m
燕台一去客心惊，笳鼓喧喧汉将营。
万里寒光生积雪，三边曙色动危旌，
沙场烽火侵胡月，海畔云山拥蓟城。
少小虽非投笔吏，论功还欲请长缨。
`,
	`[32m《新嫁娘》[m
[33m作者：王建[m
三日入厨下，洗手作羹汤。
未谙姑食性，先遣小姑尝。
`,
	`[32m《关山月》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
明月出天山，苍茫云海间。
长风几万里，吹度玉门关。
汉下白登道，胡窥青海湾。
由来征战地，不见有人还。
戍客望边色，思归多苦颜。
高楼当此夜，叹息未应闲。
`,
	`[32m题目:《无题》[m
[33m作者:晏殊（９９１－１０５５）[m
油壁香车不再逢，峡云无迹任西东。
梨花院落溶溶月，柳絮池塘淡淡风。
几日寂寥伤酒后，一番萧瑟禁烟中。
鱼书欲寄何由达，水远山长处处同。
`,
	`[32m《旅宿》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
旅馆无良伴，凝情自悄然。
寒灯思旧事，断雁警愁眠。
远梦归侵晓，家书到隔年。
沧江好烟月，门系钓鱼船。
`,
	`[32m《长沙过贾谊宅》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
三年谪宦此栖迟，万古惟留楚客悲。
秋草独寻人去后，寒林空见日斜时。
汉文有道恩犹薄，湘水无情吊岂知。
寂寂江山摇落处，怜君何事到天涯。
`,
	`[32m《题金陵渡》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
金陵津渡小山楼，一宿行人自可愁。
潮落夜江斜月里，两三星火是瓜州。
`,
	`[32m《寄韩谏议》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
今我不乐思岳阳，身欲奋飞病在床。
美人娟娟隔秋水，濯足洞庭望八荒。
鸿飞冥冥日月白，青枫叶赤天雨霜。
玉京群帝集北斗，或骑麒麟翳凤凰。
芙蓉旌旗烟雾落，影动倒景摇潇湘。
星宫之君醉琼浆，羽人稀少不在旁。
似闻昨者赤松子，恐是汉代韩张良。
昔随刘氏定长安，帷幄未改神惨伤。
国家成败吾岂敢，色难腥腐餐枫香。
周南留滞古所惜，南极老人应寿昌。
美人胡为隔秋水，焉得置之贡玉堂。
`,
	`[32m《杂诗》[m
[33m作者：无名氏[m
近寒食雨草萋萋，著麦苗风柳映堤。
等是有家归未得，杜鹃休向耳边啼。
`,
	`[32m题目:《秋思》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
利欲驱人万火牛，江湖浪迹一沙鸥。
日长似岁闲方觉，事大如山醉亦休。
衣杵相望深巷月，井桐摇落故园秋。
欲舒老眼无高处，安得元龙百尺楼。
`,
	`[32m《枫桥夜泊》[m
[33m作者：张继[m
月落乌啼霜满天，江枫渔火对愁眠。
姑苏城外寒山寺，夜半钟声到客船。
`,
	`[32m《寄李儋元锡》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
去年花里逢君别，今日花开又一年。
世事茫茫难自料，春愁黯黯独成眠。
身多疾病思田里，邑有流亡愧俸钱。
闻道欲来相问讯，西楼望月几回圆。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其二》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
一枝红艳露凝香，云雨巫山枉断肠。
借问汉宫谁得似，可怜飞燕倚新妆。
`,
	`[32m题目:《咏柳》[m
[33m作者:曾巩（１０１９－１０８３）[m
乱条犹未变初黄，倚得东风势便狂。
解把飞花蒙日月，不知天地有清霜。
`,
	`[32m《问刘十九》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
绿蚁新醅酒，红泥小火炉。
晚来天欲雪，能饮一杯无。
`,
	`[32m《阙题》[m
[33m作者：刘脊虚[m
道由白云尽，春与清溪长。
时有落花至，远随流水香。
闲门向山路，深柳读书堂。
幽映每白日，清辉照衣裳。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其三》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
月黑雁飞高，单于夜遁逃。
欲将轻骑逐，大雪满弓刀。
`,
	`[32m题目:《惠崇春江晚景》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
竹外桃花三两枝，春江水暖鸭先知。
萎蒿满地芦芽短，正是河豚欲上时。
`,
	`[32m《泊秦淮》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
烟笼寒水月笼沙，夜泊秦淮近酒家。
商女不知亡国恨，隔江犹唱后庭花。
`,
	`[32m《长信怨》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
奉帚平明金殿开，暂将团扇共徘徊。
玉颜不及寒鸦色，犹带昭阳日影来。
`,
	`[32m《闺怨》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
闺中少妇不知愁，春日凝妆上翠楼。
忽见陌头杨柳色，悔教夫婿觅封侯。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其二》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
林暗草惊风，将军夜引弓。
平明寻白羽，没在石棱中。
`,
	`[32m《春望》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
国破山河在，城春草木深。
感时花溅泪，恨别鸟惊心。
烽火连三月，家书抵万金。
白头搔更短，浑欲不胜簪。
`,
	`[32m《山居秋暝》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
空山新雨后，天气晚来秋。
明月松间照，清泉石上流。
竹喧归浣女，莲动下渔舟。
随意春芳歇，王孙自可留。
`,
	`[32m题目:《山中寄招叶秀才》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
夜鹤晓猿时复闻，寥寥长似耿离群。
月中未要恨丹桂，岭上且来看白云。
棋子不妨临水着，诗题兼好共僧分。
新忧他日荣名后，难得幽栖事静君。
`,
	`[32m《寄人》[m
[33m作者：张泌[m
别梦依依到谢家，小廊回合曲阑斜。
多情只有春庭月，犹为离人照落花。
`,
	`[32m《梦李白・其二》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
浮云终日行，游子久不至。
三夜频梦君，情亲见君意。
告归常局促，苦道来不易。
江湖多风波，舟楫恐失坠。
出门搔白首，若负平生志。
冠盖满京华，斯人独憔悴。
孰云网恢恢，将老身反累。
千秋万岁名，寂寞身后事。
`,
	`[32m《赤壁》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
折戟沉沙铁未销，自将磨洗认前朝。
东风不与周郎便，铜雀春深锁二乔。
`,
	`[32m题目:《三衢道中》[m
[33m作者:曾几（１０８４－１１６６）[m
梅子黄时日日晴，小溪泛尽却山行。
绿阴不减来时路，添得黄鹂四五声。
`,
	`[32m《瑶瑟怨》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
冰簟银床梦不成，碧天如水夜云轻。
雁声远过潇湘去，十二楼中月自明。
`,
	`[32m《楚江怀古》[m
[33m作者：马戴[m
露气寒光集，微阳下楚丘。
猿啼洞庭树，人在木兰舟。
广泽生明月，苍山夹乱流。
云中君不见，竟夕自悲秋。
`,
	`[32m题目:《登飞来峰》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
飞来峰上千寻塔，闻说鸡鸣见日升。
不畏浮云遮望眼，只缘身在最高层。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寓居吴兴》[m
[33m作者:曾几（１０８４－１１６６）[m
相对真成泣楚囚，遂无末策到神州。
但知绕树如飞鹊，不解营巢似拙鸠。
江北江南犹断绝，秋风秋雨敢淹留？
低回又作荆州梦，落日孤云始欲愁。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其四》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
野幕蔽琼筵，羌戎贺劳旋。
醉和金甲舞。雷鼓动山川。
`,
	`[32m《寄扬州韩绰判官》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
青山隐隐水迢迢，秋尽江南草未凋。
二十四桥明月夜，玉人何处教吹箫。
`,
	`[32m《与高适薛据登慈恩寺浮图》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
塔势如涌出，孤高耸天宫。
登临出世界，蹬道盘虚空。
突兀压神州，峥嵘如鬼工。
四角碍白日，七层摩苍穹。
下窥指高鸟，俯听闻惊风。
连山若波涛，奔凑如朝东。
青槐夹驰道，宫馆何玲珑。
秋色从西来，苍然满关中。
五陵北原上，万古青蒙蒙。
净理了可悟，胜因夙所宗。
誓将挂冠去，觉道资无穷。
`,
	`[32m《登金陵凤凰台》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
凤凰台上凤凰游，凤去台空江自流。
吴宫花草埋幽径，晋代衣冠成古丘。
三山半落青天外，二水中分白鹭洲。
总为浮云能蔽日，长安不见使人愁。
`,
	`[32m《没蕃故人》[m
[33m作者：张藉[m
前年戌月支，城下没全师。
蕃汉断消息，死生长别离。
无人收废帐，归马识残旗。
欲祭疑君在，天涯哭此时。
`,
	`[32m《咏怀古迹・其三》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
群山万壑赴荆门，生长明妃尚有村。
一去紫台连朔漠，独留青冢向黄昏，
画图省识春风面，环佩空归月夜魂。
千载琵琶作胡语，分明怨恨曲中论。
`,
	`[32m《春词》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
新妆宜面下朱楼，深锁春光一院愁。
行到中庭数花朵，蜻蜓飞上玉搔头。
`,
	`[32m《集灵台・其二》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
虢国夫人承主恩，平明骑马入宫门。
却嫌脂粉污颜色，淡扫峨眉朝至尊。
`,
	`[32m《丽人行》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
三月三日天气新，长安水边多丽人。
态浓意远淑且真，肌理细腻骨肉匀。
绣罗衣裳照暮春，蹙金孔雀银麒麟。
头上何所有，翠微盍叶垂鬓唇。
背后何所见，珠压腰[衤及]稳称身。
就中云幕椒房亲，赐名大国虢与秦。
紫驼之峰出翠釜，水晶之盘行素鳞。
犀箸厌饫久未下，鸾刀缕切空纷纶。
黄门飞ꆼ不动尘，御厨络绎送八珍。
箫鼓哀吟感鬼神，宾从杂沓实要津。
后来鞍马何逡巡，当轩下马入锦茵。
杨花雪落覆白苹，青鸟飞去衔红巾。
灸手可热势绝伦，慎莫近前丞相嗔。
`,
	`[32m题目:《三衢道中》[m
[33m作者:曾几（１０８４－１１６６）[m
梅子黄时日日晴，小溪泛尽却山行。
绿阴不减来时路，添得黄鹂四五声。
`,
	`[32m题目:《戏答元珍》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
春风疑不到天涯，二月山城未见花。
残雪压枝犹有桔，冻雷惊笋欲抽芽。
夜闻归雁生乡思，病入新年感物华。
曾是洛阳花下客，野芳虽晚不须嗟。
`,
	`[32m《登鹳雀楼》[m
[33m作者：王之涣[m
白日依山尽，黄河入海流。
欲穷千里目，更上一层楼。
`,
	`[32m《灞上秋居》[m
[33m作者：马戴[m
灞原风雨定，晚见雁行频。
落叶他乡树，寒灯独夜人。
空园白露滴，孤壁野僧邻。
寄卧郊扉久，何年致此身。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日》[m
[33m作者:秦观（１０４９－１１００）[m
一夕轻雷落万丝，霁光浮瓦碧参差。
有情芍药含春泪，无力蔷薇卧晓枝。
`,
	`[32m题目:《读严子陵传》[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m
客星何补汉中兴，空有清风冷似冰。
早遣阿瞒移汉鼎，人间何处有严陵！
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其一》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
谢公最小偏怜女，自嫁黔娄百事乖。
顾我无衣搜荩箧，泥他沽酒拔金钗。
野蔬充膳甘长藿，落叶添薪仰古槐。
今日俸钱过十万，与君营奠复营斋。
`,
	`[32m《滁州西涧》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
独怜幽草涧边生，上有黄鹂深树鸣。
春潮带雨晚来急，野渡无人舟自横。
`,
	`[32m《杂诗》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
君自故乡来，应知故乡事。
来日绮窗前，寒梅著花未。
`,
	`[32m题目:《牧童诗》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
骑牛远远过前村，短笛横吹隔陇闻。
多少长安名利客，机关用尽不如君。
`,
	`[32m《秋夜曲》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
桂魄初生秋露微，轻罗已薄未更衣。
银筝夜久殷勤弄，心怯空房不忍归。
`,
	`[32m《自夏口至鹦鹉洲夕望岳阳寄源中丞》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
汀洲无浪复无烟，楚客相思益渺然。
汉口夕阳斜渡鸟，洞庭秋水远连天。
孤城背岭寒吹角，独树临江夜泊船。
贾谊上书忧汉室，长沙谪去古今怜。
`,
	`[32m《晚次鄂州》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
云开远见汉阳城，犹是孤帆一日程。
估客昼眠知浪静，舟人夜语觉潮生。
三湘愁鬓逢秋色，万里归心对月明。
旧业已随征战尽，更堪江上鼓鼙声。
`,
	`[32m《落花》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
高阁客竟去，小园花乱飞。
参差连曲陌，迢递送斜晖。
肠断未忍扫，眼穿仍欲归。
芳心向春尽，所得是沾衣。
`,
	`[32m《寄李儋元锡》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
去年花里逢君别，今日花开又一年。
世事茫茫难自料，春愁黯黯独成眠。
身多疾病思田里，邑有流亡愧俸钱。
闻道欲来相问讯，西楼望月几回圆。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日》[m
[33m作者:程颢（１０３２－１０８５）[m
云淡风轻近午天，傍花随柳过前川。
时人不识余心乐，将谓偷闲学少年。
`,
	`[32m《寄扬州韩绰判官》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
青山隐隐水迢迢，秋尽江南草未凋。
二十四桥明月夜，玉人何处教吹箫。
`,
	`[32m《秋夜曲》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
桂魄初生秋露微，轻罗已薄未更衣。
银筝夜久殷勤弄，心怯空房不忍归。
`,
	`[32m《阙题》[m
[33m作者：刘脊虚[m
道由白云尽，春与清溪长。
时有落花至，远随流水香。
闲门向山路，深柳读书堂。
幽映每白日，清辉照衣裳。
`,
	`[32m题目:《示儿》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
死去元知万事空，但悲不见九州同。
王师北定中原日，家祭无忘告乃翁。
`,
	`[32m题目:《约客》[m
[33m作者:赵师秀（１１７０－１２００）[m
黄梅时节家家雨，青草池塘处处蛙。
有约不来过夜半，闲敲棋子落灯花。
`,
	`[32m题目:《城南感怀呈永叔》[m
[33m作者:苏舜钦（１００８－１０４８）[m
春阳泛野动，春阴与天低。
远林气蔼蔼，长道风依依。
览物虽暂适，感怀翻然移。
所见既可骇，所闻良可悲。
去年水后旱，田亩不及犁。
冬温晚得雪，宿麦生者稀。
前去固无望，即日已苦饥。
老稚满田野，斫掘寻凫茈。
此物近亦尽，卷耳共所资。
昔云能驱风，充腹理不疑；
今乃有毒厉，肠胃生疮痍。
十月七八死，当路横其尸。
犬彘咋其骨，乌鸢啄其皮。
胡为残良民，令此鸟兽肥？
天岂意如此？泱荡莫可知！
高位厌梁肉，坐论搀云霓。
岂无富人术，使之长熙熙？
我今饥伶俜，悯此复自思：
自济既不暇，将复奈尔为！
愁愤徒满胸，嵘［山＋“宏”去宀］不能齐。
`,
	`[32m《哀江头》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
少陵野老吞声哭，春日潜行曲江曲。
江头宫殿锁千门，细柳新蒲为谁绿。
忆昔霓旌下南苑，苑中景物生颜色。
昭阳殿里第一人，同辇随君侍君侧。
辇前才人带弓箭，白马嚼啮黄金勒。
翻身向天仰射云，一箭正坠双飞翼。
明眸皓齿今何在，血污游魂归不得，
清渭东流剑阁深，去住彼此无消息。
人生有情泪沾臆，江水江花岂终极。
黄昏胡骑尘满城，欲往城南望城北。
`,
	`[32m《杂诗》[m
[33m作者：无名氏[m
近寒食雨草萋萋，著麦苗风柳映堤。
等是有家归未得，杜鹃休向耳边啼。
`,
	`[32m《春宫怨》[m
[33m作者：杜荀鹤[m
早被婵娟误，欲归临镜慵。
承恩不在貌，教妾若为容。
风暖鸟声碎，日高花影重。
年年越溪女，相忆采芙蓉。
`,
	`[32m题目:《王充道送水仙花五十支》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
凌波仙子生尘袜，水上轻盈步微月。
是谁招此断肠魂，种作寒花寄愁绝。
含香体素欲倾城，山矾是弟梅是兄。
坐对真成被花恼，出门一笑大江横。
`,
	`[32m《送人东游》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
荒戌落黄叶，浩然离故关。
高风汉阳渡，初日郢门山。
江上几人在，天涯孤棹还。
何当重相见，樽酒慰离颜。
`,
	`[32m《金缕衣》[m
[33m作者：杜秋娘[m
劝君莫惜金缕衣，劝君惜取少年时。
花开堪折直须折，莫待无花空折枝。
`,
	`[32m《春宫曲》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
昨夜风开露井桃，未央前殿月轮高。
平阳歌舞新承宠，帘外春寒赐锦袍。
`,
	`[32m《春宫怨》[m
[33m作者：杜荀鹤[m
早被婵娟误，欲归临镜慵。
承恩不在貌，教妾若为容。
风暖鸟声碎，日高花影重。
年年越溪女，相忆采芙蓉。
`,
	`[32m题目:《新开棋轩呈元珍表臣》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
竹树日已滋，轩窗渐幽兴。
人间与世远，鸟语知境静。
春光霭欲布，山色寒尚映。
独收万籁心，于此一枰竞。
`,
	`[32m题目:《书愤》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
早岁那知世事艰，中垢北望气如山。
楼船夜雪瓜洲渡，铁马秋风大散关。
塞上长城空自许，镜中衰鬓已先斑。
出师一表真名世，千载谁堪伯仲间。
`,
	`[32m《终南山》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
太乙近天都，连山到海隅。
白云回望合，青霭入看无。
分野中峰变，阴晴众壑殊。
欲投人处宿，隔水问樵夫。
`,
	`[32m《赠内人》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
禁门宫树月痕过，媚眼惟看宿鹭巢。
斜拔玉钗灯影畔，剔开红焰救飞蛾。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其一》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
云想衣裳花想容，春风拂槛露华浓。
若非群玉山头见，会向瑶台月下逢。
`,
	`[32m题目:《明妃曲》二首[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m

            其一

明妃初出汉宫时，泪湿春风鬓脚垂。
低徊顾影无颜色，尚得君王不自持。
归来却怪丹青手，入眼平生几曾有；
意态由来画不成，当时枉杀毛延寿。
一去心知更不归，可怜着尽汉宫衣；
寄声欲问塞南事，只有年年鸿雁飞。
家人万里传消息，好在毡城莫相忆；
君不见咫尺长门闭阿娇，人生失意无南北。


            其二

明妃初嫁与胡儿，毡车百辆皆胡姬。
含情欲语独无处，传与琵琶心自知。
黄金杆拨春风手，弹看飞鸿劝胡酒。
汉宫侍女暗垂泪，沙上行人却回首。
汉恩自浅胡恩深，人生乐在相知心。
可怜青冢已芜没，尚有哀弦留至今。
`,
	`[32m《赠别・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
娉娉袅袅十三余，豆蔻梢头二月初。
春风十里扬州路，卷上珠帘总不如。
`,
	`[32m《春词》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
新妆宜面下朱楼，深锁春光一院愁。
行到中庭数花朵，蜻蜓飞上玉搔头。
`,
	`[32m《阁夜》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
岁暮阴阳催短景，天涯霜雪霁寒宵。
五更鼓角声悲壮，三峡星河影动摇。
野哭几家闻战伐，夷歌数处起渔樵。
卧龙跃马终黄土，人事音书漫寂寥。
`,
	`[32m《春泛若耶溪》[m
[33m作者：綦毋潜[m
幽意无断绝，此去随所偶。
晚风吹行舟，花路入溪口。
际夜转西壑，隔山望南斗。
潭烟飞溶溶，林月低向后。
生事且弥漫，愿为持竿叟。
`,
	`[32m《送杨氏女》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
永日方戚戚，出行复悠悠。
女子今有行，大江溯轻舟。
尔辈苦无恃，抚念益慈柔。
幼为长所育，两别泣不休。
对此结中肠，义往难复留。
自小阙内训，事姑贻我忧。
赖兹托令门，任恤庶无尤。
贫俭诚所尚，资从岂待周。
孝恭遵妇道，容止顺其猷。
别离在今晨，见尔当何秋。
居闲始自遣，临感忽难收。
归来视幼女，零泪缘缨流。
`,
	`[32m题目:《示儿》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
死去元知万事空，但悲不见九州同。
王师北定中原日，家祭无忘告乃翁。
`,
	`[32m《月夜》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
今夜ꆼ州月，闺中只独看。
遥怜小儿女，未解忆长安。
香雾云鬟湿，清辉玉臂寒。
何时倚虚幌，双照泪痕干！
`,
	`[32m《望岳》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
岱宗夫如何，齐鲁青未了。
造化钟神秀，阴阳割昏晓。
荡胸生层云，决眦入归鸟。
会当凌绝顶，一览众山小。
`,
	`[32m《望月怀远》[m
[33m作者：张九龄[m
海上生明月，天涯共此时。
情人怨遥夜，竟夕起相思。
灭烛怜光满，披衣觉露滋。
不堪盈手赠，还寝梦佳期。
`,
	`[32m《为有》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
为有云屏无限娇，凤城寒尽怕春宵。
无端嫁得金龟婿，辜负香衾事早朝。
`,
	`[32m《赠郭给事》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
洞门高阁霭余晖，桃李阴阴柳絮飞。
禁里疏钟官舍晚，省中啼鸟吏人稀。
晨摇玉佩趋金殿，夕奉天书拜琐闱。
强欲从君无那老，将因卧病解朝衣。
`,
	`[32m题目:《画眉鸟》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
百啭千声随意移，山花红紫树高低。
始知锁向金笼听，不及林间自在啼。
`,
	`[32m《天末怀李白》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
凉风起天末，君子意如何。
鸿雁几时到，江湖秋水多。
文章憎命达，魑魅喜人过。
应共冤魂语，投诗赠汨罗。
`,
	`[32m《寻南溪常山道人隐居》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
一路经行处，莓苔见屐痕。
白云依静渚，芳草闭闲门。
过雨看松色，随山到水源。
溪花与禅意，相对亦忘言。
`,
	`[32m题目:《村行》[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m
马穿山径菊初黄，信马悠悠野兴长。
万壑有声含晚籁，数峰无语立斜阳。
棠梨叶落胭脂色，荞麦花开白雪香。
何事吟余忽惆怅，村桥原树似吾乡。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其三》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
名花倾国两相欢，常得君王带笑看。
解释春风无限恨，沉香亭北倚栏杆。
`,
	`[32m题目:《画眉鸟》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
百啭千声随意移，山花红紫树高低。
始知锁向金笼听，不及林间自在啼。
`,
	`[32m题目:《王充道送水仙花五十支》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
凌波仙子生尘袜，水上轻盈步微月。
是谁招此断肠魂，种作寒花寄愁绝。
含香体素欲倾城，山矾是弟梅是兄。
坐对真成被花恼，出门一笑大江横。
`,
	`[32m《渡汉江》[m
[33m作者：李频[m
岭外音书绝，经冬复立春。
近乡情更怯，不敢问来人。
`,
	`[32m《轮台歌奉送封大夫出师西征》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
轮台城头夜吹角，轮台城北旄头落。
羽书昨夜过渠黎，单于已在金山西。
戍楼西望烟尘黑，汉兵屯在轮台北。
上将拥旄西出征，平明吹笛大军行。
四边伐鼓雪海涌，三军大呼阴山动。
虏塞兵气连云屯，战场白骨缠草根。
剑河风急云片阔，沙口石冻马蹄脱。
亚相勤王甘苦辛，誓将报主静边尘。
古来青史谁不见，今见功名胜古人。
`,
	`[32m《秋日登吴公台上寺远眺》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
古台摇落后，秋入望乡心。
野寺来人少，云峰隔水深。
夕阳依旧垒，寒磬满空林。
惆怅南朝事，长江独自今。
`,
	`[32m《庐山谣寄卢侍御虚舟》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
我本楚狂人，凤歌笑孔丘。
手持绿玉杖，朝别黄鹤楼。
五岳寻仙不辞远，一生好入名山游。
庐山秀出南斗傍，屏风九叠云锦张，
影落明湖青黛光，金阙前开二峰长，
银河倒挂三石梁，香炉瀑布遥相望，
回崖沓嶂凌苍苍。
翠影红霞映朝日，鸟飞不到吴天长。
登高壮观天地间，大江茫茫去不还。
黄云万里动风色，白波九道流雪山。
好为庐山谣，兴因庐山发。
闲窥石镜清我心，谢公行处苍苔没。
早服还丹无世情，琴心三叠道初成。
遥见仙人彩云里，手把芙蓉朝玉京。
先期汗漫九垓上，愿接卢敖游太清。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其一》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
云想衣裳花想容，春风拂槛露华浓。
若非群玉山头见，会向瑶台月下逢。
`,
	`[32m《春望》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
国破山河在，城春草木深。
感时花溅泪，恨别鸟惊心。
烽火连三月，家书抵万金。
白头搔更短，浑欲不胜簪。
`,
	`[32m《章台夜思》[m
[33m作者：韦庄[m
清瑟怨遥夜，绕弦风雨哀。
孤灯闻楚角，残月下章台。
芳草已云暮，故人殊未来。
乡书不可寄，秋雁又南回。
`,
	`[32m《经邹鲁祭孔子而叹之》[m
[33m作者：唐玄宗[m
夫子何为者，栖栖一代中。
地犹鄹氏邑，宅即鲁王宫。
叹凤嗟身否，伤麟怨道穷。
今看两楹奠，当与梦时同。
`,
	`[32m《九月九日忆山东兄弟》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲。
遥知兄弟登高处，遍插茱萸少一人。
`,
	`[32m《宿王昌龄隐居》[m
[33m作者：常建[m
清溪深不测，隐处惟孤云。
松际露微月，清光犹为君。
茅亭宿花影，药院滋苔纹。
余亦谢时去，西山鸾鹤群。
`,
	`[32m《送崔九》[m
[33m作者：裴迪[m
归山深浅去，须尽丘壑美。
莫学武陵人，暂游桃源里。
`,
	`[32m《嫦娥》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
云母屏风烛影深，长河渐落晓星沉。
嫦娥应悔偷灵药，碧海青天夜夜心。
`,
	`[32m题目:《和子由踏青》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
春风陌上惊微尘，游人初乐岁华新。
人闲正好路旁饮，麦短未怕游车轮。
城中居人厌城郭，喧阗晓出空四邻。
歌鼓惊山草木动，箪瓢散野乌鸢驯。
何人聚众称道人，遮道卖符色怒嗔。
宜蚕使汝茧如瓮，宜畜使汝羊如□［鹿下菌字去草头］。
路人未必信此语，强为买符禳新春。
道人得钱径沽酒，醉倒自谓吾符神。
`,
	`[32m《玉台体》[m
[33m作者：权德舆[m
昨夜裙带解，今朝ꆼ子飞。
铅华不可弃，莫是藁砧归。
`,
	`[32m题目:《戏答元珍》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
春风疑不到天涯，二月山城未见花。
残雪压枝犹有桔，冻雷惊笋欲抽芽。
夜闻归雁生乡思，病入新年感物华。
曾是洛阳花下客，野芳虽晚不须嗟。
`,
	`[32m《无题・其一》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
凤尾香罗薄几重，碧文圆顶夜深缝。
扇裁月魄羞难掩，车走雷声语未通。
曾是寂寥金烬暗，断无消息石榴红。
斑骓只系垂杨岸，何处西南任好风。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其一》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
鹫翎金仆姑，燕尾绣蝥弧。
独立扬新令，千营共一呼。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其二》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
一枝红艳露凝香，云雨巫山枉断肠。
借问汉宫谁得似，可怜飞燕倚新妆。
`,
	`[32m题目:《晚泊岳阳》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
卧闻岳阳城里钟，系舟岳阳城下树。
正见空江明月来，云水苍茫失江路。
夜深江月弄清辉，水上人歌月下归；
一阕声长听不尽，轻舟短楫去如飞。
`,
	`[32m《喜见外弟又言别》[m
[33m作者：李益[m
十年离乱后，长大一相逢，
问姓惊初见，称名忆旧容。
别来沧海事，语罢暮天钟。
明日巴陵道，秋山又几重。
`,
	`[32m《古意》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
男儿事长征，少小幽燕客。
赌胜马蹄下，由来轻七尺。
杀人莫敢前，须如猬毛磔。
黄云陇底白云飞，未得报恩不能归。
辽东小妇年十五，惯弹琵琶解歌舞。
今为羌笛出塞声，使我三军泪如雨。
`,
	`[32m《琵琶行・并序》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
元和十年，余左迁九江郡司马。明年秋，送客湓浦口，闻舟中夜弹琵琶者。
听其音，铮铮然有京都声。问其人，本长安倡女，尝学琶琵于穆曹二善才。
年长色衰，委身为贾人妇。遂令酒使快弹数曲。曲罢悯然，自叙少小时
欢乐事，今漂沦憔悴，转徒于江湖间余出官二年，恬然自安，感斯人言，
是夕始觉有迁谪意。因为长句歌以赠之，凡六百一十六言。命曰《琵琶行》。
��
浔阳江头夜送客，枫叶荻花秋瑟瑟。
主人下马客在船，举酒欲饮无管弦。
醉不成欢惨将别，别时茫茫江浸月。
忽闻水上琵琶声，主人忘归客不发。
寻声暗问弹者谁，琵琶声停欲语迟。
移船相近邀相见，添酒回灯重开宴。
千呼万唤始出来，犹抱琵琶半遮面。
转轴拨弦三两声，未成曲调先有情。
弦弦掩抑声声思，似诉平生不得志。
低眉信手续续弹，说尽心中无限事。
轻拢慢捻抹复挑，初为霓裳后六幺。
大弦嘈嘈如急雨，小弦切切如私语。
嘈嘈切切错杂弹，大珠小珠落玉盘。
间关莺语花底滑，幽咽泉流水下滩。
水泉冷涩弦凝绝，凝绝不通声渐歇。
别有幽愁暗恨生，此时无声胜有声。
银瓶乍破水浆迸，铁骑突出刀枪鸣。
曲终收拨当心画，四弦一声如裂帛。
东船西舫悄无言，唯见江心秋月白。
沉吟放拨插弦中，整顿衣裳起敛容。
自言本是京城女，家在虾蟆陵下住。
十三学得琵琶成，名属教坊第一部。
曲罢常教善才服，妆成每被秋娘炉。
五陵年少争缠头，一曲红消不知数。
钿头银篦击节碎，血色罗裙翻酒污。
今年欢笑复明年，秋月春风等闲度。
弟走从军阿姨死，暮去朝来颜色故。
门前冷落车马稀，老大嫁作商人妇。
商人重利轻别离，前月浮梁买茶去。
去来江口守空船，绕舱明月江水寒。
夜深忽梦少年事，梦啼妆泪红阑干。
我闻琵琶已叹息，又闻此语重唧唧。
同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识。
我从去年辞帝京，谪居卧病浔阳城。
浔阳地僻无音乐，终岁不闻丝竹声。
住近湓江地低湿，黄芦苦竹绕宅生。
其间旦暮闻何物，杜鹃啼血猿哀鸣。
春江花朝秋月夜，往往取酒还独倾。
岂无山歌与姑笛，呕哑嘲哳难为听。
今夜闻君琵琶语，如听仙乐耳暂明。
莫辞更坐弹一曲，为君翻作琵琶行。
感我此言良久立，却坐促弦弦转急。
凄凄不似向前声，满座重闻皆掩泣。
座中泣下谁最多，江州司马清衫湿。
`,
	`[32m《丽人行》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
三月三日天气新，长安水边多丽人。
态浓意远淑且真，肌理细腻骨肉匀。
绣罗衣裳照暮春，蹙金孔雀银麒麟。
头上何所有，翠微盍叶垂鬓唇。
背后何所见，珠压腰[衤及]稳称身。
就中云幕椒房亲，赐名大国虢与秦。
紫驼之峰出翠釜，水晶之盘行素鳞。
犀箸厌饫久未下，鸾刀缕切空纷纶。
黄门飞ꆼ不动尘，御厨络绎送八珍。
箫鼓哀吟感鬼神，宾从杂沓实要津。
后来鞍马何逡巡，当轩下马入锦茵。
杨花雪落覆白苹，青鸟飞去衔红巾。
灸手可热势绝伦，慎莫近前丞相嗔。
`,
	`[32m《赋得暮雨送李胄》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
楚江微雨里，建业暮钟时。
漠漠帆来重，冥冥鸟去迟。
海门深不见，浦树远含滋。
相送情无限，沾襟比散丝。
`,
	`[32m题目:《偶题》[m
[33m作者:张耒（１０５２－１１１２）[m
相逢记得画桥头，花似精神柳似柔。
莫谓无情即无语，春风传意水传愁。
`,
	`[32m《回乡偶书》[m
[33m作者：贺知章[m
少小离家老大回，乡音无改鬓毛催。
儿童相见不相识，笑问客从何处来。
`,
	`[32m《八阵图》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
功盖三分国，名成八阵图。
江流石不转，遣恨失吞吴。
`,
	`[32m《春怨》[m
[33m作者：刘方平[m
纱窗日落渐黄昏，金屋无人见泪痕。
寂寞空庭春欲晚，梨花满地不开门。
`,
	`[32m《送友人》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
`,
	`[32m《西施咏》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
艳色天下重，西施宁久微。
朝为越溪女，暮作吴宫妃。
贱日岂殊众，贵来方悟稀。
邀人傅粉粉，不自著罗衣。
君宠益娇态，君怜无是非。
当时浣纱伴，莫得同车归。
持谢邻家子，效颦安可希。
`,
	`[32m《赠郭给事》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
洞门高阁霭余晖，桃李阴阴柳絮飞。
禁里疏钟官舍晚，省中啼鸟吏人稀。
晨摇玉佩趋金殿，夕奉天书拜琐闱。
强欲从君无那老，将因卧病解朝衣。
`,
	`[32m《梦李白・其二》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
浮云终日行，游子久不至。
三夜频梦君，情亲见君意。
告归常局促，苦道来不易。
江湖多风波，舟楫恐失坠。
出门搔白首，若负平生志。
冠盖满京华，斯人独憔悴。
孰云网恢恢，将老身反累。
千秋万岁名，寂寞身后事。
`,
	`[32m《乌衣巷》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
朱雀桥边野草花，乌衣巷口夕阳斜。
旧时王谢堂前燕，飞入寻常百姓家。
`,
	`[32m《风雨》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
凄凉宝剑篇，羁泊欲穷年。
黄叶仍风雨，青楼自管弦。
新知遭薄俗，旧好隔良缘。
心断新丰酒，销愁又几千。
`,
	`[32m《隋宫》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
紫泉宫殿锁烟霞，欲取芜城作帝家。
玉玺不缘归日角，锦帆应是到天涯。
于今腐草无萤火，终古垂杨有暮鸦。
地下若逢陈后主，岂宜重问后庭花。
`,
	`[32m《送上人》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
孤云将野鹤，岂向人间住。
莫买沃洲山，时人已知处。
`,
	`[32m《怨情》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
美人卷珠帘，深坐蹙蛾眉。
但见泪痕湿，不知心恨谁。
`,
	`[32m《山居秋暝》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
空山新雨后，天气晚来秋。
明月松间照，清泉石上流。
竹喧归浣女，莲动下渔舟。
随意春芳歇，王孙自可留。
`,
	`[32m《桃源行》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
渔舟逐水爱山春，两岸桃花夹去津。
坐看红树不知远，行尽青溪忽视人。
山口潜行始隈ꆼ，山开旷望旋平陆。
遥看一处攒云树，近入千家散花竹。
樵客初传汉姓名，居人未改秦衣服。
居人共住武陵源，还从物外起田园。
月明松下房栊静，日出云中鸡犬喧。
惊闻俗客争来集，竞引还家问都邑。
平明闾巷扫花开，薄暮渔樵乘水入。
初因避地去人间，及至成仙遂不还。
峡里谁知有人事，世中遥望空云山。
不疑灵境难闻见，尘心未尽思乡县。
出洞无论隔山水，辞家终拟长游衍。
自谓经过旧不迷，安知峰壑今来变。
当时只记入山深，青溪几曲到云林。
春来遍是桃花水，不辨仙源何处寻。
`,
	`[32m题目:《庆州败》[m
[33m作者:苏舜钦（１００８－１０４８）[m
无战王者师，有备军之志。
天下承平数十年，此语虽存人所弃。
今岁西戎背世盟，直随秋风寇边城。
屠杀熟户烧障堡，十万驰骋山岳倾。
国家防塞今有谁？官为承制乳臭儿。
酣觞大嚼乃事业，何尝识会兵之机？
符移火急搜卒乘，意谓就戮如缚尸。
未成一军已出战，驱逐急使缘［山佥］［山＋繁体“戏”字］。
马肥甲重士饱喘，虽有弓剑何所施。
连颠自欲堕深谷，虏骑笑指声嘻嘻。
一麾发伏雁行出，山下掩截成重围。
我军免胄乞死所，承制面缚交涕［氵夷］。
逡巡下令艺者全，争献小技歌且吹。
其余劓首放之去，东走矢液皆淋漓。
道无耳准若怪兽，不自愧耻犹生归！
守者沮气陷者苦，尽由主将之所为。
地机不见欲侥胜，羞辱中国堪伤悲。
`,
	`[32m《长恨歌》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
汉皇重色思倾国，御宇多年求不得。
杨家有女初长成，养在深闺人未识。
天生丽质难自弃，一朝选在君王侧。
回眸一笑百媚生，六宫粉黛无颜色。
春寒赐浴华清池，温泉水滑洗凝脂。
侍儿扶起娇无力，始是新承恩泽时。
云鬓花颜金步摇，芙蓉帐暖度春宵。
春宵苦短日高起，从此君王不早朝。
承欢侍宴无闲暇，春从春游夜专夜。
后宫佳丽三千人，三千宠爱在一身。
金屋妆成娇侍夜，玉楼宴罢醉和春。
姊妹弟兄皆列土，可怜光彩生门户。
遂令天下父母心，不重生男重生女。
骊宫高处入青云，仙乐风飘处处闻。
缓歌谩舞凝丝竹，尽日君王看不足。
渔阳鼙鼓动地来，惊破霓裳羽衣曲。
九重城阙烟尘生，千乘万骑西南行。
翠华摇摇行复止，西出都门百余里。
六军不发无奈何，宛转蛾眉马前死。
花钿委地无人收，翠翘金雀玉搔头。
君王掩面救不得，回看血泪相和流。
黄埃散漫风萧索，云栈萦纡登剑阁。
峨嵋山下少人行，旌旗无光日色薄。
蜀江水碧蜀山青，圣主朝朝暮暮情。
行宫见月伤心色，夜雨闻铃肠断声。
天旋地转回龙驭，到此踌躇不能去。
马嵬坡下泥土中，不见玉颜空死处。
君臣相顾尽沾衣，东望都门信马归。
归来池苑皆依旧，太液芙蓉未央柳。
芙蓉如面柳如眉，对此如何不泪垂。
春风桃李花开日，秋雨梧桐叶落时。
西宫南内多秋草，落叶满阶红不扫。
梨园弟子白发新，椒房阿监青娥老。
夕殿萤飞思悄然，孤灯挑尽未成眠。
迟迟钟鼓初长夜，耿耿星河欲曙天。
鸳鸯瓦冷霜华重，翡翠衾寒谁与共。
悠悠生死别经年，魂魄不曾来入梦。
临邛道士鸿都客，能以精诚致魂魄。
为感君王辗转思，遂教方士殷勤觅。
排空驭气奔如电，升天入地求之遍。
上穷碧落下黄泉，两处茫茫皆不见。
忽闻海上有仙山，山在虚无缥渺间。
楼阁玲珑五云起，其中绰约多仙子。
中有一人字太真，雪肤花貌参差是。
金阙西厢叩玉扃，转教小玉报双成。
闻道汉家天子使，九华帐里梦魂惊。
揽衣推枕起徘徊，珠箔银屏迤逦开。
云鬓半偏新睡觉，花冠不整下堂来。
风吹仙袂飘飘举，犹似霓裳羽衣舞。
玉容寂寞泪阑干，梨花一枝春带雨。
含情凝睇谢君王，一别音容两渺茫。
昭阳殿里恩爱绝，蓬莱宫中日月长。
回头下望人寰处，不见长安见尘雾。
惟将旧物表深情，钿合金钗寄将去。
钗留一股合一扇，钗擘黄金合分钿。
但教心似金钿坚，天上人间会相见。
临别殷勤重寄词，词中有誓两心知。
七月七日长生殿，夜半无人私语时。
在天愿作比翼鸟，在地愿为连理枝。
天长地久有时尽，此恨绵绵无绝期。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日登楼怀旧》[m
[33m作者:寇准（９６１－１０２３）[m
高楼聊引望，杳杳一川平。
远水无人渡，孤舟尽日横。
荒村生断霭，深树语流莺。
旧业遥清渭，沉思忽自惊。
`,
	`[32m题目:《明妃曲和王介甫作》其二[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
汉宫有佳人，天子初未识，
一朝随汉使，远嫁单于国。
绝色天下无，一失难再得，
虽能杀画工，于事竟何益？
耳目所及尚如此，万里安能制夷狄！
汉计诚已拙，女色难自夸。
明妃去时泪，洒向枝上花；
狂风日暮起，飘泊落谁家。
红颜胜人多薄命，莫怨春风当自嗟。
`,
	`[32m《阁夜》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
岁暮阴阳催短景，天涯霜雪霁寒宵。
五更鼓角声悲壮，三峡星河影动摇。
野哭几家闻战伐，夷歌数处起渔樵。
卧龙跃马终黄土，人事音书漫寂寥。
`,
	`[32m《和贾至舍人早朝大明宫之作》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
绛帻鸡人报晓筹，尚衣方进翠云裘。
九天阊阖开宫殿，万国衣冠拜冕旒。
日色才临仙掌动，香烟欲傍衮龙浮。
朝罢须裁五色诏，佩声归到凤池头。
`,
	`[32m《月夜忆舍弟》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
戌鼓断人行，秋边一雁声。
露从今夜白，月是故乡明。
有弟皆分散，无家问死生。
寄书长不达，况乃未休兵。
`,
	`[32m题目:《戏答元珍》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
春风疑不到天涯，二月山城未见花。
残雪压枝犹有桔，冻雷惊笋欲抽芽。
夜闻归雁生乡思，病入新年感物华。
曾是洛阳花下客，野芳虽晚不须嗟。
`,
	`[32m《听筝》[m
[33m作者：李端[m
鸣筝金粟柱，素手玉房前。
欲得周郎顾，时时误拂弦。
`,
	`[32m《宫词》[m
[33m作者：朱庆余[m
寂寂花时闭院门，美人相并立琼轩。
含情欲说宫中事，鹦鹉前头不敢言。
`,
	`[32m《蜀道难》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
噫吁ꆼ，危呼高哉！
蜀道之难难于上青天。
蚕丛及鱼凫，开国何茫然。
尔来四万八千岁，始与秦塞通人烟。
西当太白有鸟道，可以横绝峨嵋巅。
地崩山摧壮士死，然后天梯石栈相钩连。
上有六龙回日之高标，下有冲波逆折之回川。
黄鹤之飞尚不得，猿猱欲度愁攀缘。
青泥何盘盘，百步九折萦岩峦。
扪参历井仰胁息，以手抚膺坐长叹。
问君西游何时还，畏途ꆼ岩不可攀。
但见悲鸟号古木，雄飞雌从绕林间。
又闻子规啼夜月，愁空山。
蜀道之难难于上青天，使人听此凋朱颜。
连峰去天不盈尺，枯松倒挂倚绝壁。
飞湍瀑流争喧ꆼ，石冰崖转石万壑雷。
其险也若此，嗟尔远道之人，胡为呼来哉。
剑阁峥嵘而崔嵬，一夫当关，万夫莫开。
所守或匪亲，化为狼与豺。
朝避猛虎，夕避长蛇。
磨牙吮血，杀人如麻。
锦城虽云乐，不如早还家。
蜀道之难难于上青天，侧身西望长咨嗟。
`,
	`[32m《梦游天姥吟留别》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
海客谈瀛洲，烟涛微茫信难求。
越人语天姥，云霓明灭或可睹。
天姥连天向天横，势拔五岳掩赤城。
天台四万八千丈，对此欲倒东南倾。
我欲因之梦吴越，一夜飞度镜湖月。
湖月照我影，送我至剡溪。
谢公宿处今尚在，绿水荡漾清猿啼，
脚著谢公屐，身登青云梯。
半壁见海日，空中闻天鸡。
千岩万转路不定，迷花倚石忽已暝。
熊咆龙吟殷岩泉，ꆼ深林兮惊层巅。
云青青兮欲雨，水澹澹兮生烟。
列缺霹雳，丘峦崩摧。
洞天石扇，訇然中开。
青冥浩荡不见底，日月照耀金银台。
霓为衣兮风为马，云之君兮纷纷而来下。
虎鼓瑟兮鸾回车，仙之人兮列如麻。
忽魂悸以魄动，恍惊起而长嗟。
惟觉时之枕席，失向来之烟霞。
世间行乐亦如此，古来万事东流水。
别君去兮何时还？
且放白鹿青崖间，须行即骑访名山。
安能摧眉折腰事权贵，使我不得开心颜！
`,
	`[32m《锦瑟》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
锦瑟无端五十弦，一弦一柱思华年。
庄生晓梦迷蝴蝶，望帝春心托杜鹃。
沧海月明珠有泪，蓝田日暖玉生烟。
此情可待成追忆，只是当时已惘然。
`,
	`[32m《长沙过贾谊宅》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
三年谪宦此栖迟，万古惟留楚客悲。
秋草独寻人去后，寒林空见日斜时。
汉文有道恩犹薄，湘水无情吊岂知。
寂寂江山摇落处，怜君何事到天涯。
`,
	`[32m《阙题》[m
[33m作者：刘脊虚[m
道由白云尽，春与清溪长。
时有落花至，远随流水香。
闲门向山路，深柳读书堂。
幽映每白日，清辉照衣裳。
`,
	`[32m《贼退示官吏・并序》[m
[33m作者：元结[m
癸卯岁西原贼入道州，焚烧杀掠，几尽而去。
明年，贼又攻永州破邵，不犯此州边鄙而退。
岂力能制敌欤？盖蒙其伤怜而已。
诸使何为忍苦征敛，故作诗一篇以示官吏。
����
昔岁逢太平，山林二十年。
泉源在庭户，洞壑当门前。
井税有常期，日晏犹得眠。
忽然遭世变，数岁亲戎旃。
今来典斯郡，山夷又纷然。
城小贼不屠，人贫伤可怜。
是以陷邻境，此州独见全。
使臣将王命，岂不如贼焉。
令彼征敛者，迫之如火煎。
谁能绝人命，以作时世贤。
思欲委符节，引竿自刺船。
将家就鱼麦，归老江湖边。
`,
	`[32m《送陈章甫》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
四月南风大麦黄，枣花未落桐叶长。
青山朝别暮还见，嘶马出门思旧乡。
陈侯立身何坦荡，虬须虎眉仍大颡。
腹中贮书一万卷，不肯低头在草莽。
东门沽酒饮我曹，心轻万事皆鸿毛。
醉卧不知白日暮，有时空望孤云高。
长河浪头连天黑，津口停舟渡不得。
郑国游人未及家，洛阳行子空叹息。
闻道故林相识多，罢官昨日今如何。
`,
	`[32m题目:《病起荆江亭即事》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
翰墨场中老伏波，菩提坊里病维摩。
近人积水无鸥鹭，时有归牛浮鼻过。

闭门觅句陈无己，对客挥毫秦少游。
正字不知温饱未，西风吹泪古藤州。
`,
	`[32m《近试上张水部》[m
[33m作者：朱庆余[m
洞房昨夜停红烛，待晓堂前拜舅姑。
妆罢低声问夫婿，画眉深浅入时无。
`,
	`[32m《老将行》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
少年十五二十时，步行夺得胡马骑。
射杀山中白额虎，肯数邺下黄须儿。
一身转战三千里，一剑曾当百万师。
汉兵奋迅如霹雳，虏骑奔腾畏蒺藜。
卫青不败由天幸，李广无功缘数奇。
自从弃置便衰朽，世事蹉跎成白首。
昔时飞箭无全目，今日垂杨生左肘。
路傍时卖故侯瓜，门前学种先生柳。
苍茫古木连穷巷，寥落寒山对虚牖。
誓令疏勒出飞泉，不似颍川空使酒。
贺兰山下阵如云，羽檄交驰日夕闻。
节使三河募年少，诏书五道出将军。
试拂铁衣如雪色，聊持宝剑动星文。
愿得燕弓射天将，耻令越甲鸣吾君。
莫嫌旧日云中守，犹堪一战取功勋。
`,
	`[32m《古意》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
男儿事长征，少小幽燕客。
赌胜马蹄下，由来轻七尺。
杀人莫敢前，须如猬毛磔。
黄云陇底白云飞，未得报恩不能归。
辽东小妇年十五，惯弹琵琶解歌舞。
今为羌笛出塞声，使我三军泪如雨。
`,
	`[32m《夕次盱眙县》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
落帆逗淮镇，停舫临孤驿。
浩浩风起波，冥冥日沉夕。
人归山郭暗，雁下芦洲白。
独夜忆秦关，听钟未眠客。
`,
	`[32m《自夏口至鹦鹉洲夕望岳阳寄源中丞》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
汀洲无浪复无烟，楚客相思益渺然。
汉口夕阳斜渡鸟，洞庭秋水远连天。
孤城背岭寒吹角，独树临江夜泊船。
贾谊上书忧汉室，长沙谪去古今怜。
`,
	`[32m《秋夜曲》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
桂魄初生秋露微，轻罗已薄未更衣。
银筝夜久殷勤弄，心怯空房不忍归。
`,
	`[32m《无题・其二》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
重帏深下莫愁堂，卧后清宵细细长。
神女生涯原是梦，小姑居处本无郎。
风波不信菱枝弱，月露谁教桂叶香。
直道相思了无益，未妨惆怅是清狂。
`,
	`[32m《登鹳雀楼》[m
[33m作者：王之涣[m
白日依山尽，黄河入海流。
欲穷千里目，更上一层楼。
`,
	`[32m《宣州谢ꆼ楼饯别校书叔云》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
弃我去者，昨日之日不可留。
乱我心者，今日之日多烦忧。
长风万里送秋雁，对此可以酣高楼。
蓬莱文章建安骨，中间小谢又清发。
俱怀逸兴壮思飞，欲上青天览日月。
抽刀断水水更流，举杯消愁愁更愁。
人生在世不称意，明朝散发弄扁舟。
`,
	`[32m《夕次盱眙县》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
落帆逗淮镇，停舫临孤驿。
浩浩风起波，冥冥日沉夕。
人归山郭暗，雁下芦洲白。
独夜忆秦关，听钟未眠客。
`,
	`[32m题目:《明妃曲》二首[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m

            其一

明妃初出汉宫时，泪湿春风鬓脚垂。
低徊顾影无颜色，尚得君王不自持。
归来却怪丹青手，入眼平生几曾有；
意态由来画不成，当时枉杀毛延寿。
一去心知更不归，可怜着尽汉宫衣；
寄声欲问塞南事，只有年年鸿雁飞。
家人万里传消息，好在毡城莫相忆；
君不见咫尺长门闭阿娇，人生失意无南北。


            其二

明妃初嫁与胡儿，毡车百辆皆胡姬。
含情欲语独无处，传与琵琶心自知。
黄金杆拨春风手，弹看飞鸿劝胡酒。
汉宫侍女暗垂泪，沙上行人却回首。
汉恩自浅胡恩深，人生乐在相知心。
可怜青冢已芜没，尚有哀弦留至今。
`,
	`[32m《别房太尉墓》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
他乡复行役，驻马别孤坟。
近泪无干土，低空有断云。
对棋陪谢傅，把剑觅徐君。
唯见林花落，莺啼送客闻。
`,
	`[32m《寄韩谏议》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
今我不乐思岳阳，身欲奋飞病在床。
美人娟娟隔秋水，濯足洞庭望八荒。
鸿飞冥冥日月白，青枫叶赤天雨霜。
玉京群帝集北斗，或骑麒麟翳凤凰。
芙蓉旌旗烟雾落，影动倒景摇潇湘。
星宫之君醉琼浆，羽人稀少不在旁。
似闻昨者赤松子，恐是汉代韩张良。
昔随刘氏定长安，帷幄未改神惨伤。
国家成败吾岂敢，色难腥腐餐枫香。
周南留滞古所惜，南极老人应寿昌。
美人胡为隔秋水，焉得置之贡玉堂。
`,
	`[32m《宫词》[m
[33m作者：朱庆余[m
寂寂花时闭院门，美人相并立琼轩。
含情欲说宫中事，鹦鹉前头不敢言。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日登楼怀旧》[m
[33m作者:寇准（９６１－１０２３）[m
高楼聊引望，杳杳一川平。
远水无人渡，孤舟尽日横。
荒村生断霭，深树语流莺。
旧业遥清渭，沉思忽自惊。
`,
	`[32m题目:《霰》[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m
雪花遣霰作前锋，势破张皇欲暗空。
筛瓦巧寻疏处漏，跳阶误到暖边融。
寒声带雨山难白，冷气侵人火失红。
方讶一冬暄较甚，今宵敢叹卧如弓。
`,
	`[32m《送杜少府之任蜀州》[m
[33m作者：王勃[m
城阙辅三秦，风烟望五津。
与君离别意，同是宦游人。
海内存知己，天涯若比邻。
无为在岐路，儿女共沾巾。
`,
	`[32m《玉阶怨》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
玉阶生白露，夜久侵罗袜。
却下水晶帘，玲珑望秋月。
`,
	`[32m《西施咏》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
艳色天下重，西施宁久微。
朝为越溪女，暮作吴宫妃。
贱日岂殊众，贵来方悟稀。
邀人傅粉粉，不自著罗衣。
君宠益娇态，君怜无是非。
当时浣纱伴，莫得同车归。
持谢邻家子，效颦安可希。
`,
	`[32m题目:《惠崇春江晚景》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
竹外桃花三两枝，春江水暖鸭先知。
萎蒿满地芦芽短，正是河豚欲上时。
`,
	`[32m《逢入京使》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
故园东望路漫漫，双袖龙钟泪不干。
马上相逢无纸笔，凭君传语报平安。
`,
	`[32m《月夜》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
今夜ꆼ州月，闺中只独看。
遥怜小儿女，未解忆长安。
香雾云鬟湿，清辉玉臂寒。
何时倚虚幌，双照泪痕干！
`,
	`[32m《早寒江上有怀》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
木落雁南渡，北风江上寒。
我家襄水曲，遥隔楚云端。
乡泪客中尽，孤帆天际看。
迷津欲有问，平海夕漫漫。
`,
	`[32m《长沙过贾谊宅》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
三年谪宦此栖迟，万古惟留楚客悲。
秋草独寻人去后，寒林空见日斜时。
汉文有道恩犹薄，湘水无情吊岂知。
寂寂江山摇落处，怜君何事到天涯。
`,
	`[32m《八月十五夜赠张功曹》[m
[33m作者：韩愈[m
纤云四卷天无河，清风吹空月舒波。
沙平水息声影绝，一杯相属君当歌。
君歌声酸辞且苦，不能听终泪如雨。
洞庭连天九疑高，蛟龙出没猩鼯号。
十生九死到官所，幽居默默如藏逃。
下床畏蛇食畏药，海气湿蛰熏腥臊。
昨者州前捶大鼓，嗣皇继圣登夔皋。
赦书一日行万里，罪从大辟皆除死。
迁者追回流者还，涤瑕荡垢清朝班。
州家申名使家抑，坎轲只得移荆蛮。
判司卑官不堪说，未免捶楚尘埃间。
同时辈流多上道，天路幽险难追攀。
君歌且休听我歌，我歌今与君殊科：
一年明月今宵多，人生由命非由他，
有酒不饮奈明何？
`,
	`[32m《春泛若耶溪》[m
[33m作者：綦毋潜[m
幽意无断绝，此去随所偶。
晚风吹行舟，花路入溪口。
际夜转西壑，隔山望南斗。
潭烟飞溶溶，林月低向后。
生事且弥漫，愿为持竿叟。
`,
	`[32m《感遇・其二》[m
[33m作者：张九龄[m
江南有丹桔，经冬犹绿林。
岂伊地气暖，自有岁寒心。
可以荐佳客，奈何阻重深。
运命唯所遇，循环不可寻。
徒言树桃李，此木岂无阴。
`,
	`[32m题目:《有美堂暴雨》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
游人脚底一声雷，满座顽云拨不开，
天外黑风吹海立，浙东飞雨过江来。
十分潋滟金樽凸，千杖敲铿羯鼓催。
唤起谪仙泉酒面，倒倾鲛室泻琼瑰。
`,
	`[32m《枫桥夜泊》[m
[33m作者：张继[m
月落乌啼霜满天，江枫渔火对愁眠。
姑苏城外寒山寺，夜半钟声到客船。
`,
	`[32m《咏怀古迹・其三》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
群山万壑赴荆门，生长明妃尚有村。
一去紫台连朔漠，独留青冢向黄昏，
画图省识春风面，环佩空归月夜魂。
千载琵琶作胡语，分明怨恨曲中论。
`,
	`[32m题目:《无题》[m
[33m作者:杨亿（９６４－１０２０）[m
巫阳归梦融千峰，辟恶香消翠被浓。
桂魄渐亏愁晓月，蕉心不展怨春风。
遥山黯黯眉长敛，一水盈盈语未通。
漫托［昆鸟］弦传恨意，云鬟日夕似飞蓬。
`,
	`[32m《汉江临泛》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
楚塞三湘接，荆门九派通。
江流天地外，山色有无中。
郡邑浮前浦，波澜动远空。
襄阳好风日，留醉与山翁。
`,
	`[32m《寻南溪常山道人隐居》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
一路经行处，莓苔见屐痕。
白云依静渚，芳草闭闲门。
过雨看松色，随山到水源。
溪花与禅意，相对亦忘言。
`,
	`[32m《秦中感秋寄远上人》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
一丘常欲卧，三径苦无资。
北土非吾愿，东林怀我师。
黄金燃桂尽，壮志逐年衰。
日夕凉风至，闻蝉但益悲。
`,
	`[32m题目:《送棋僧惟照》[m
[33m作者:文同（１０１８－１０７９）[m
学成九章开方诀，诵得一行乘除诗，
自然天性晓绝艺，可敌国手应吾师。
窗前横榻拥炉处，门外大雪压屋时，
独翻旧局辨错着，冷笑古人心许谁？
`,
	`[32m《早秋》[m
[33m作者：许浑[m
遥夜泛清瑟，西风生翠萝。
残萤栖玉露，早雁拂金河。
高树晓还密，远山晴更多。
淮南一叶下，自觉洞庭波。
`,
	`[32m《后宫词》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
泪湿罗巾梦不成，夜深前殿按歌声。
红颜未老恩先断，斜倚熏笼坐到明。
`,
	`[32m《咏怀古迹・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
支离东北风尘际，飘泊西南天地间。
三峡楼台淹日月，五溪衣服共云山。
羯胡事主终无赖，词客哀时且未还。
庾信平生最萧瑟，暮年诗赋动江关。
`,
	`[32m题目:《暑中杂咏》[m
[33m作者:苏舜钦（１００８－１０４８）[m
嘉果浮沉酒半醺，床头书册乱纷纷。
北轩凉吹开疏竹，卧看青天行白云。
`,
	`[32m《早寒江上有怀》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
木落雁南渡，北风江上寒。
我家襄水曲，遥隔楚云端。
乡泪客中尽，孤帆天际看。
迷津欲有问，平海夕漫漫。
`,
	`[32m题目:《塞上》[m
[33m作者:柳开（９４６－９９９）[m
鸣［骨交］直上一千尺，天静无风声更干。
碧眼胡儿三百骑，尽提金勒向云看。
`,
	`[32m题目:《新开棋轩呈元珍表臣》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
竹树日已滋，轩窗渐幽兴。
人间与世远，鸟语知境静。
春光霭欲布，山色寒尚映。
独收万籁心，于此一枰竞。
`,
	`[32m《奉和圣制从蓬莱向兴庆阁道中留春雨中春望之作应制》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
渭水自萦秦塞曲，黄山旧绕汉宫斜。
銮舆迥出千门柳，阁道回看上苑花。
云里帝城双凤阙，雨中春树万人家。
为乘阳气行时令，不是宸游玩物华。
`,
	`[32m《蜀相》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
丞相祠堂何处寻，锦官城外柏森森。
映阶碧草自春色，隔叶黄鹂空好音。
三顾频烦天下计，两朝开济老臣心。
出师未捷身先死，长使英雄泪满襟。
`,
	`[32m题目:《夜登白帝城怀少陵先生》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
拾遗白发有谁怜？零落歌诗遍两川。
人立飞楼今已矣，浪翻孤月尚依然。
升沈自古无穷事，愚智同归有限年。
此意凄凉谁共语？岸沙君看去年痕。
`,
	`[32m题目:《示儿》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
死去元知万事空，但悲不见九州同。
王师北定中原日，家祭无忘告乃翁。
`,
	`[32m题目:《烛》[m
[33m作者:穆修（９６９－１０３２）[m
一箔珠帘掩映垂，房栊轻染麝香枝。
佳人盼影横哀柱，狎客分光缀艳诗。
禁锁翠明初唱漏，官窗红短尚围棋。
长宵且秉欢游去，无限风光见古辞。
`,
	`[32m《阁夜》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
岁暮阴阳催短景，天涯霜雪霁寒宵。
五更鼓角声悲壮，三峡星河影动摇。
野哭几家闻战伐，夷歌数处起渔樵。
卧龙跃马终黄土，人事音书漫寂寥。
`,
	`[32m题目:《东溪》[m
[33m作者:梅尧臣（１００２－１０６０）[m
行到东溪看水时，坐临孤屿发船迟。
野凫眠岸有闲意，老树着花无丑枝。
短短蒲耳齐似剪，平平沙石净于筛。
情虽不厌住不得，薄暮归来车马疲。
%    
[32m题目:《鲁山山行》[m
[33m作者:梅尧臣（１００２－１０６０）[m
适与野情惬，千山高复低。
好峰随处改，幽径独行迷。
霜落熊升树，林空鹿饮溪。
人家在何许？云外一声鸡。
`,
	`[32m题目:《秋日》[m
[33m作者:程颢（１０３２－１０８５）[m
闲来无事不从容，睡觉东窗日已红。
万物静观皆自得，四时佳兴与人同。
道通天地有形外，思入风云变态中。
富贵不淫贫贱乐，男儿到此是豪雄。
`,
	`[32m《春词》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
新妆宜面下朱楼，深锁春光一院愁。
行到中庭数花朵，蜻蜓飞上玉搔头。
`,
	`[32m题目:《咏柳》[m
[33m作者:曾巩（１０１９－１０８３）[m
乱条犹未变初黄，倚得东风势便狂。
解把飞花蒙日月，不知天地有清霜。
`,
	`[32m《送李端》[m
[33m作者：卢伦[m
故关衰草遍，离别正堪悲。
路出寒云外，人归暮雪时。
少孤为客早，多难识君迟。
掩泣空相向，风尘何所期。
`,
	`[32m题目:《观棋长吟》[m
[33m作者:邵雍（１０１１－１０７７）[m
院静春深昼掩扉，竹间闲看客争棋。
搜罗神鬼聚胸臆，措臻山河入范围。
局合龙蛇成阵斗，劫残鸿雁破行飞；
杀多项羽坑秦卒，败剧符坚畏晋师。
座上戈铤尝击搏，面前冰炭旋更移；
死生共抵两家事，胜负都由一着时。
当路断无相假借，对人须且强推辞；
腹心受害诚堪惧，唇齿生忧尚可医；
善用中伤为得策，阴行狡狯谓知机。
请观今日长安道，易地何尝不有之？
`,
	`[32m《喜见外弟又言别》[m
[33m作者：李益[m
十年离乱后，长大一相逢，
问姓惊初见，称名忆旧容。
别来沧海事，语罢暮天钟。
明日巴陵道，秋山又几重。
`,
	`[32m《无题》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
相见时难别亦难，东风无力百花残。
春蚕到死丝方尽，腊炬成灰泪始干。
晓镜但愁云鬓改，夜吟应觉月光寒。
蓬莱此去无多路，青鸟殷勤为探看。
`,
	`[32m《游子吟》[m
[33m作者：孟郊[m
慈母手中线，游子身上衣。
临行密密缝，意恐迟迟归。
谁言寸草心，报得三春晖。
`,
	`[32m题目:《临安春雨初霁》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
世味年来薄似纱，谁令骑马客京华。
小楼一夜听春雨，深巷明朝卖杏花。
矮纸斜行闲作草，晴窗细乳戏分茶。
素衣莫起风尘叹，犹及清明可到家。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寓居定惠院之东杂花满山有海棠一株土人不知贵也》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
江城地瘴蕃草木，只有名花苦幽独。
嫣然一笑竹篱间，桃李满山总粗俗。
也知造物有深意，故遣佳人在空谷。
自然富贵出天姿，不待金盘荐华屋。
朱唇得酒晕生脸，翠袖卷纱红映肉。
林深雾暗晓光迟，日暖风轻春睡足。
雨中有泪亦凄怆，月下无人更清淑。
先生食饱无一事，散步逍遥自扪腹。
不问人家与僧舍，拄杖敲门看修竹。
忽逢绝艳照衰朽，叹息无言揩病目。
陋邦何处得此花，无乃好事移西蜀。
寸根千里不易到，衔子飞来定鸿鹄。
天涯流落俱可念，为饮一樽歌此曲。
明朝酒醒还独来，雪落纷纷哪忍触。
`,
	`[32m《送僧归日本》[m
[33m作者：钱起[m
上国随缘住，来途若梦行。
浮天沧海远，去世法舟轻。
水月通禅寂，鱼龙听梵声。
惟怜一灯影，万里眼中明。
`,
	`[32m《鹿柴》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
空山不见人，但闻人语响。
返影入深林，复照青苔上。
`,
	`[32m《溪居》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
久为簪组累，幸此南夷谪。
闲依农圃邻，偶似山林客。
晓耕翻露草，夜榜响溪石。
来往不逢人，长歌楚天碧。
`,
	`[32m《送上人》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
孤云将野鹤，岂向人间住。
莫买沃洲山，时人已知处。
`,
	`[32m《下终南山过斛斯山人宿置酒》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
暮从碧山下，山月随人归。
却顾所来径，苍苍横翠微。
相携及田家，童稚开荆扉。
绿竹入幽径，青萝拂行衣。
欢言得所憩，美酒聊共挥。
长歌吟松风，曲尽河星稀。
我醉君复乐，陶然共忘机。
`,
	`[32m《送崔九》[m
[33m作者：裴迪[m
归山深浅去，须尽丘壑美。
莫学武陵人，暂游桃源里。
`,
	`[32m题目:《泪》[m
[33m作者:杨亿（９６４－１０２０）[m
锦字梭停掩夜机，白头吟若怨新知。
谁闻陇水回肠后，更听巴猿拭袂时。
汉殿微凉金屋闭，魏宫清晓玉壶欹。
多情不待悲秋气，只是伤春鬓已丝。
`,
	`[32m《听筝》[m
[33m作者：李端[m
鸣筝金粟柱，素手玉房前。
欲得周郎顾，时时误拂弦。
`,
	`[32m《月夜》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
今夜ꆼ州月，闺中只独看。
遥怜小儿女，未解忆长安。
香雾云鬟湿，清辉玉臂寒。
何时倚虚幌，双照泪痕干！
`,
	`[32m题目:《有美堂暴雨》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
游人脚底一声雷，满座顽云拨不开，
天外黑风吹海立，浙东飞雨过江来。
十分潋滟金樽凸，千杖敲铿羯鼓催。
唤起谪仙泉酒面，倒倾鲛室泻琼瑰。
`,
	`[32m《无题・其一》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
凤尾香罗薄几重，碧文圆顶夜深缝。
扇裁月魄羞难掩，车走雷声语未通。
曾是寂寥金烬暗，断无消息石榴红。
斑骓只系垂杨岸，何处西南任好风。
`,
	`[32m《长安遇冯著》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
客从东方来，衣上灞陵雨。
问客何为来，采山因买斧。
冥冥花正开、扬扬燕新乳。
昨别今已春，鬓丝生几缕。
`,
	`[32m《送魏万之京》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
朝闻游子唱骊歌，昨夜微霜初度河。
鸿雁不堪愁里听，云山况是客中过。
关城曙色催寒近，御苑砧声向晚多。
莫是长安行乐处，空令岁月易蹉跎。
`,
	`[32m《宿业师山房待丁大不至》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
夕阳度西岭，群壑倏已暝。
松月生夜凉，风泉满清听。
樵人归尽欲，烟鸟栖初定。
之子期宿来，孤琴候萝径。
`,
	`[32m《云阳馆与韩绅宿别》[m
[33m作者：司空曙[m
故人江海别，几度隔山川。
乍见翻疑梦，相悲各问年。
孤灯寒照雨，深竹暗浮烟。
更有明朝恨，离杯惜共传。
`,
	`[32m《弹琴》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
泠泠七弦上，静听松风寒。
古调虽自爱，今人多不弹。
`,
	`[32m《蝉》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
本以高难饱，徒劳恨费声。
五更疏欲断，一树碧无情。
薄宦梗犹泛，故园芜已平。
烦君最相警，我亦举家清。
`,
	`[32m《月夜》[m
[33m作者：刘方平[m
更深月色半人家，北斗阑干南斗斜。
今夜偏知春气暖，虫声新透绿窗纱。
`,
	`[32m题目:《塞上》[m
[33m作者:柳开（９４６－９９９）[m
鸣［骨交］直上一千尺，天静无风声更干。
碧眼胡儿三百骑，尽提金勒向云看。
`,
	`[32m《秋夕》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
银烛秋光冷画屏，轻罗小扇扑流萤。
天阶夜色凉如水，坐看牵牛织女星。
`,
	`[32m《凉州词》[m
[33m作者：王翰[m
葡萄美酒夜光杯，欲饮琵琶马上催。
醉卧沙场君莫笑，古来征战几人回。
`,
	`[32m题目:《柳》[m
[33m作者:寇准（９６１－１０２３）[m
晓带轻烟间杏花，晚凝深翠拂平沙。
长条别有风流处，密映钱塘苏小家。
`,
	`[32m《长信怨》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
奉帚平明金殿开，暂将团扇共徘徊。
玉颜不及寒鸦色，犹带昭阳日影来。
`,
	`[32m题目:《新开棋轩呈元珍表臣》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
竹树日已滋，轩窗渐幽兴。
人间与世远，鸟语知境静。
春光霭欲布，山色寒尚映。
独收万籁心，于此一枰竞。
`,
	`[32m《送陈章甫》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
四月南风大麦黄，枣花未落桐叶长。
青山朝别暮还见，嘶马出门思旧乡。
陈侯立身何坦荡，虬须虎眉仍大颡。
腹中贮书一万卷，不肯低头在草莽。
东门沽酒饮我曹，心轻万事皆鸿毛。
醉卧不知白日暮，有时空望孤云高。
长河浪头连天黑，津口停舟渡不得。
郑国游人未及家，洛阳行子空叹息。
闻道故林相识多，罢官昨日今如何。
`,
	`[32m《寻陆鸿渐不遇》[m
[33m作者：僧皎然[m
移家虽带郭，野径入桑麻。
近种篱边菊，秋来未著花。
扣门无犬吠，欲去问西家。
报道山中去，归来每日斜。
`,
	`[32m《九月登望仙台呈刘明府容》[m
[33m作者：崔曙[m
汉文皇帝有高台，此日登临曙色开。
三晋云山皆北向，二陵风雨自东来。
关门令尹谁能识，河上仙翁去不回。
且欲近寻彭泽宰，陶然共醉菊花杯。
`,
	`[32m《关山月》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
明月出天山，苍茫云海间。
长风几万里，吹度玉门关。
汉下白登道，胡窥青海湾。
由来征战地，不见有人还。
戍客望边色，思归多苦颜。
高楼当此夜，叹息未应闲。
`,
	`[32m《除夜有怀》[m
[33m作者：崔涂[m
迢递三巴路，羁危万里身。
乱山残雪夜，孤烛异乡人。
渐与骨肉远，转于僮仆亲。
那堪正漂泊，明日岁华新。
`,
	`[32m题目:《泊船瓜洲》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
京口瓜洲一水间，钟山只隔数重山。
春风又绿江南岸，明月何时照我还。
`,
	`[32m题目:《约客》[m
[33m作者:赵师秀（１１７０－１２００）[m
黄梅时节家家雨，青草池塘处处蛙。
有约不来过夜半，闲敲棋子落灯花。
`,
	`[32m《阙题》[m
[33m作者：刘脊虚[m
道由白云尽，春与清溪长。
时有落花至，远随流水香。
闲门向山路，深柳读书堂。
幽映每白日，清辉照衣裳。
`,
	`[32m《送梓州李使君》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
万壑树参天，千山响杜鹃。
山中一夜雨，树杪百重泉。
汉女输ꆼ布，巴人讼芋田。
文翁翻教授，不敢倚先贤。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日》[m
[33m作者:秦观（１０４９－１１００）[m
一夕轻雷落万丝，霁光浮瓦碧参差。
有情芍药含春泪，无力蔷薇卧晓枝。
`,
	`[32m题目:《初入淮河》（选一）[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m

船离洪泽岸头沙，人到淮河意不佳。
何必桑乾方是远，中流以北即天涯！
`,
	`[32m题目:《烛》[m
[33m作者:穆修（９６９－１０３２）[m
一箔珠帘掩映垂，房栊轻染麝香枝。
佳人盼影横哀柱，狎客分光缀艳诗。
禁锁翠明初唱漏，官窗红短尚围棋。
长宵且秉欢游去，无限风光见古辞。
`,
	`[32m《自夏口至鹦鹉洲夕望岳阳寄源中丞》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
汀洲无浪复无烟，楚客相思益渺然。
汉口夕阳斜渡鸟，洞庭秋水远连天。
孤城背岭寒吹角，独树临江夜泊船。
贾谊上书忧汉室，长沙谪去古今怜。
`,
	`[32m《在狱咏蝉・并序》[m
[33m作者：骆宾王[m
余禁所禁垣西，是法厅事也，有古槐数株焉。
虽生意可知，同殷仲文之古树；而听讼斯在，即周召伯之甘棠，
每至夕照低阴，秋蝉疏引，发声幽息，有切尝闻，岂人心异于曩时，将虫响悲于前听？
嗟乎，声以动容，德以象贤。
故洁其身也，禀君子达人之高行；
蜕其皮也，有仙都羽化之灵姿。
候时而来，顺阴阳之数；
应节为变，审藏用之机。
有目斯开，不以道昏而昧其视；
有翼自薄，不以俗厚而易其真。
吟乔树之微风，韵姿天纵；
饮高秋之坠露，清畏人知。
仆失路艰虞，遭时徽ꆼ。
不哀伤而自怨，未摇落而先衰。
闻蟪蛄之流声，悟平反之已奏；
见螳螂之抱影，怯危机之未安。
感而缀诗，贻诸知己。
庶情沿物应，哀弱羽之飘零；
道寄人知，悯余声之寂寞。
非谓文墨，取代幽忧云尔。
���
西陆蝉声唱，南冠客思深。
不堪玄鬓影，来对白头吟。
露重飞难进，风多响易沉。
无人信高洁，谁为表予心。
`,
	`[32m《相思》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
红豆生南国，春来发几枝。
愿君多采撷，此物最相思。
`,
	`[32m题目:《塞上》[m
[33m作者:柳开（９４６－９９９）[m
鸣［骨交］直上一千尺，天静无风声更干。
碧眼胡儿三百骑，尽提金勒向云看。
`,
	`[32m《寄人》[m
[33m作者：张泌[m
别梦依依到谢家，小廊回合曲阑斜。
多情只有春庭月，犹为离人照落花。
`,
	`[32m题目:《腊日游孤山访惠勤惠思二僧》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
天欲雪，云满湖，楼台明灭山有无。
水清出石鱼可数，林深无人鸟相呼。
腊日不归对妻孥，名寻道人实自娱。
道人之居在何许？宝云山前路盘纡。
孤山孤绝谁肯庐？道人有道山不孤。
纸窗竹屋深自暖，拥褐坐睡依团蒲。
天寒路远愁仆夫，整驾催归及未晡。
出山回望云木合，但见野鹘盘浮图。
兹游淡薄欢有余，到家恍如梦蘧蘧。
作诗火急追亡逋，清景一失后难摹。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寒食》[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m
今年寒食在商山，山里风光亦可怜：
稚子就花拈蛱蝶，人家依树系秋千。
郊原晓绿初经雨，巷陌春阴乍禁烟。
副使官闲莫惆怅，酒钱犹有撰碑钱。
`,
	`[32m《新年作》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
乡心新岁切，天畔独潸然。
老至居人下，春归在客先。
岭猿同旦暮，江柳共风烟。
已似长沙傅，从今又几年。
`,
	`[32m《送梓州李使君》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
万壑树参天，千山响杜鹃。
山中一夜雨，树杪百重泉。
汉女输ꆼ布，巴人讼芋田。
文翁翻教授，不敢倚先贤。
`,
	`[32m《闺怨》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
闺中少妇不知愁，春日凝妆上翠楼。
忽见陌头杨柳色，悔教夫婿觅封侯。
`,
	`[32m题目:《啼鸟》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
我遭谗口身落此，每闻巧言宜可憎。
春到山城苦寂寞，把盏常恨无娉婷。
花开鸟语辄自醉，醉与花鸟为交朋。
花能嫣然顾我笑，鸟劝我饮非无情。
身闲酒美惜光景，惟恐鸟散花飘零。
可笑灵均楚泽畔，离骚憔悴愁独醒。
`,
	`[32m《金缕衣》[m
[33m作者：杜秋娘[m
劝君莫惜金缕衣，劝君惜取少年时。
花开堪折直须折，莫待无花空折枝。
`,
	`[32m《新年作》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
乡心新岁切，天畔独潸然。
老至居人下，春归在客先。
岭猿同旦暮，江柳共风烟。
已似长沙傅，从今又几年。
`,
	`[32m《哥舒歌》[m
[33m作者：西鄙人[m
北斗七星高，哥舒夜带刀。
至今窥牧马，不敢过临洮。
`,
	`[32m《同从弟南斋玩月忆山阴崔少府》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
高卧南斋时，开帷月初吐。
清辉淡水木，演漾在窗户。
苒苒几盈虚，澄澄变今古。
美人清江畔，是夜越吟苦。
千里其如何，微风吹兰杜。
`,
	`[32m《江州重别薛六柳八二员外》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
生涯岂料承优诏，世事空知学醉歌。
江上月明胡雁过，淮南木落楚山多。
寄身且喜沧洲近，顾影无如白发何。
今日龙钟人共老，愧君犹遣慎风波。
`,
	`[32m《没蕃故人》[m
[33m作者：张藉[m
前年戌月支，城下没全师。
蕃汉断消息，死生长别离。
无人收废帐，归马识残旗。
欲祭疑君在，天涯哭此时。
`,
	`[32m《和贾至舍人早朝大明宫之作》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
绛帻鸡人报晓筹，尚衣方进翠云裘。
九天阊阖开宫殿，万国衣冠拜冕旒。
日色才临仙掌动，香烟欲傍衮龙浮。
朝罢须裁五色诏，佩声归到凤池头。
`,
	`[32m《锦瑟》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
锦瑟无端五十弦，一弦一柱思华年。
庄生晓梦迷蝴蝶，望帝春心托杜鹃。
沧海月明珠有泪，蓝田日暖玉生烟。
此情可待成追忆，只是当时已惘然。
`,
	`[32m《隋宫》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
紫泉宫殿锁烟霞，欲取芜城作帝家。
玉玺不缘归日角，锦帆应是到天涯。
于今腐草无萤火，终古垂杨有暮鸦。
地下若逢陈后主，岂宜重问后庭花。
`,
	`[32m《月下独酌》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
花间一壶酒，独酌无相亲。
举杯邀明月，对影成三人。
月既不解饮，影徒随我身。
暂伴月将影，行乐须及春。
我歌月徘徊，我舞影零乱。
醒时同交欢，醉后各分散。
永结无情游，相期邈云汉。
`,
	`[32m《同题仙游观》[m
[33m作者：韩ꆼ[m
仙台初见五城楼，风物凄凄宿雨收。
山色遥连秦树晚，砧声近报汉宫秋。
疏松影落空坛静，细草香闲小洞幽。
何用别寻方外去，人间亦自有丹丘。
`,
	`[32m《在狱咏蝉・并序》[m
[33m作者：骆宾王[m
余禁所禁垣西，是法厅事也，有古槐数株焉。
虽生意可知，同殷仲文之古树；而听讼斯在，即周召伯之甘棠，
每至夕照低阴，秋蝉疏引，发声幽息，有切尝闻，岂人心异于曩时，将虫响悲于前听？
嗟乎，声以动容，德以象贤。
故洁其身也，禀君子达人之高行；
蜕其皮也，有仙都羽化之灵姿。
候时而来，顺阴阳之数；
应节为变，审藏用之机。
有目斯开，不以道昏而昧其视；
有翼自薄，不以俗厚而易其真。
吟乔树之微风，韵姿天纵；
饮高秋之坠露，清畏人知。
仆失路艰虞，遭时徽ꆼ。
不哀伤而自怨，未摇落而先衰。
闻蟪蛄之流声，悟平反之已奏；
见螳螂之抱影，怯危机之未安。
感而缀诗，贻诸知己。
庶情沿物应，哀弱羽之飘零；
道寄人知，悯余声之寂寞。
非谓文墨，取代幽忧云尔。
���
西陆蝉声唱，南冠客思深。
不堪玄鬓影，来对白头吟。
露重飞难进，风多响易沉。
无人信高洁，谁为表予心。
`,
	`[32m《终南望余雪》[m
[33m作者：祖咏[m
终南阴岭秀，积雪浮云端。
林表明霁色，城中增暮寒。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日》[m
[33m作者:秦观（１０４９－１１００）[m
一夕轻雷落万丝，霁光浮瓦碧参差。
有情芍药含春泪，无力蔷薇卧晓枝。
`,
	`[32m《庐山谣寄卢侍御虚舟》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
我本楚狂人，凤歌笑孔丘。
手持绿玉杖，朝别黄鹤楼。
五岳寻仙不辞远，一生好入名山游。
庐山秀出南斗傍，屏风九叠云锦张，
影落明湖青黛光，金阙前开二峰长，
银河倒挂三石梁，香炉瀑布遥相望，
回崖沓嶂凌苍苍。
翠影红霞映朝日，鸟飞不到吴天长。
登高壮观天地间，大江茫茫去不还。
黄云万里动风色，白波九道流雪山。
好为庐山谣，兴因庐山发。
闲窥石镜清我心，谢公行处苍苔没。
早服还丹无世情，琴心三叠道初成。
遥见仙人彩云里，手把芙蓉朝玉京。
先期汗漫九垓上，愿接卢敖游太清。
`,
	`[32m《无题・其一》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
凤尾香罗薄几重，碧文圆顶夜深缝。
扇裁月魄羞难掩，车走雷声语未通。
曾是寂寥金烬暗，断无消息石榴红。
斑骓只系垂杨岸，何处西南任好风。
`,
	`[32m《酬张少府》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
晚年惟好静，万事不关心。
自顾无长策，空知返旧林。
松风吹解带，山月照弹琴。
君问穷通理，渔歌入浦深。
`,
	`[32m《已凉》[m
[33m作者：韩翎[m
碧阑干外绣帘垂，猩色屏风画折枝。
八尺龙须方锦褥，已凉天气未寒时。
`,
	`[32m《听安万善吹筚篥歌》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
南山截竹为ꆼ篥，此乐本自龟兹出。
流传汉地曲转奇，凉州胡人为我吹。
傍邻闻者多叹息，远客思乡皆泪垂。
世人解听不解赏，长飚风中自来往。
枯桑老柏寒飕遛，九雏鸣凤乱啾啾。
龙吟虎啸一时发，万籁百泉相与秋。
忽然更作渔阳掺，黄云萧条白日暗。
变调如闻杨柳春，上林繁花照眼新。
岁夜高堂列明烛，美酒一杯声一曲。
`,
	`[32m题目:《过零丁洋》[m
[33m作者:文天祥（１２３６－１２８２）[m
辛苦遭逢起一经，干戈寥落四周星。
山河破碎风飘絮，身世浮沉雨打萍。
惶恐滩头说惶恐，零丁洋里叹零丁。
人生自古谁无死，留取丹心照汗青。
`,
	`[32m《九月登望仙台呈刘明府容》[m
[33m作者：崔曙[m
汉文皇帝有高台，此日登临曙色开。
三晋云山皆北向，二陵风雨自东来。
关门令尹谁能识，河上仙翁去不回。
且欲近寻彭泽宰，陶然共醉菊花杯。
`,
	`[32m《风雨》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
凄凉宝剑篇，羁泊欲穷年。
黄叶仍风雨，青楼自管弦。
新知遭薄俗，旧好隔良缘。
心断新丰酒，销愁又几千。
`,
	`[32m《送友人》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
`,
	`[32m《送人东游》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
荒戌落黄叶，浩然离故关。
高风汉阳渡，初日郢门山。
江上几人在，天涯孤棹还。
何当重相见，樽酒慰离颜。
`,
	`[32m《渭城曲》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
渭城朝雨ꆼ轻尘，客舍青青柳色新。
劝君更尽一杯酒，西出阳关无故人。
`,
	`[32m《江乡故人偶集客舍》[m
[33m作者：戴叔伦[m
天秋月又满，城阙夜千重。
还作江南会，翻疑梦里逢。
风枝惊暗鹊，露草覆寒虫。
羁旅长堪醉，相留畏晓钟。
`,
	`[32m《新嫁娘》[m
[33m作者：王建[m
三日入厨下，洗手作羹汤。
未谙姑食性，先遣小姑尝。
`,
	`[32m题目:《城南感怀呈永叔》[m
[33m作者:苏舜钦（１００８－１０４８）[m
春阳泛野动，春阴与天低。
远林气蔼蔼，长道风依依。
览物虽暂适，感怀翻然移。
所见既可骇，所闻良可悲。
去年水后旱，田亩不及犁。
冬温晚得雪，宿麦生者稀。
前去固无望，即日已苦饥。
老稚满田野，斫掘寻凫茈。
此物近亦尽，卷耳共所资。
昔云能驱风，充腹理不疑；
今乃有毒厉，肠胃生疮痍。
十月七八死，当路横其尸。
犬彘咋其骨，乌鸢啄其皮。
胡为残良民，令此鸟兽肥？
天岂意如此？泱荡莫可知！
高位厌梁肉，坐论搀云霓。
岂无富人术，使之长熙熙？
我今饥伶俜，悯此复自思：
自济既不暇，将复奈尔为！
愁愤徒满胸，嵘［山＋“宏”去宀］不能齐。
`,
	`[32m《夜雨寄北》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
君问归期未有期，巴山夜雨涨秋池。
何当共剪西窗烛，却话巴山夜雨时。
`,
	`[32m《瑶瑟怨》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
冰簟银床梦不成，碧天如水夜云轻。
雁声远过潇湘去，十二楼中月自明。
`,
	`[32m题目:《登快阁》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
痴儿了却公家事，快阁东西倚晚晴。
落木千山天远大，澄江一道月分明。
朱弦已为佳人绝，青眼聊因美酒横。
万里归船弄长笛，此心吾与白鸥盟。
`,
	`[32m《登柳州城楼寄漳汀封连四州刺史》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
城上高楼接大荒，海天愁思正茫茫。
惊风乱ꆼ芙蓉水。密雨斜侵薜荔墙。
岭树重遮千里目，江流曲似九回肠。
共来百越纹身地，犹是音书滞一乡。
`,
	`[32m《无题》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
昨夜星辰昨夜风，画楼西畔桂堂东。
身无彩凤双飞翼，心有灵犀一点通。
隔座送钩春酒暖，分曹射覆蜡灯红。
嗟余听鼓应官去，走马兰台类转蓬。
`,
	`[32m《送綦毋潜落第还乡》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
圣代无隐者，英灵尽来归。
遂令东山客，不得顾采薇。
既至金门远，孰云吾道非。
江淮度寒食，京洛缝春衣。
置酒长安道，同心与我违。
行当浮桂棹，未几拂荆扉。
远树带行客，孤城当落晖。
吾谋适不用，勿谓知音稀。
`,
	`[32m《望岳》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
岱宗夫如何，齐鲁青未了。
造化钟神秀，阴阳割昏晓。
荡胸生层云，决眦入归鸟。
会当凌绝顶，一览众山小。
`,
	`[32m题目:《三衢道中》[m
[33m作者:曾几（１０８４－１１６６）[m
梅子黄时日日晴，小溪泛尽却山行。
绿阴不减来时路，添得黄鹂四五声。
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其二》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
昔日戏言身后事，今朝都到眼前来。
衣裳已施行看尽，针线犹存未忍开。
尚想旧情怜婢仆，也曾因梦送钱财。
诚知此恨人人有，贫贱夫妻百事哀。
`,
	`[32m《月下独酌》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
花间一壶酒，独酌无相亲。
举杯邀明月，对影成三人。
月既不解饮，影徒随我身。
暂伴月将影，行乐须及春。
我歌月徘徊，我舞影零乱。
醒时同交欢，醉后各分散。
永结无情游，相期邈云汉。
`,
	`[32m《长相思・其二》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
日色欲尽花含烟，月明欲素愁不眠。
赵瑟初停凤凰柱，蜀琴欲奏鸳鸯弦。
此曲有意无人传，愿随春风寄燕然。
忆君迢迢隔青天，昔日横波目，今作流泪泉。
不信妾断肠，归来看取明镜前。
`,
	`[32m题目:《霰》[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m
雪花遣霰作前锋，势破张皇欲暗空。
筛瓦巧寻疏处漏，跳阶误到暖边融。
寒声带雨山难白，冷气侵人火失红。
方讶一冬暄较甚，今宵敢叹卧如弓。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其四》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
野幕蔽琼筵，羌戎贺劳旋。
醉和金甲舞。雷鼓动山川。
`,
	`[32m《寻西山隐者不遇》[m
[33m作者：邱为[m
绝顶一茅茨，直上三十里。
叩关无僮仆，窥室惟案几。
若非巾柴车，应是钓秋水。
差池不相见，黾勉空仰止。
草色新雨中，松声晚窗里。
及兹契幽绝，自足荡心耳。
虽无宾主意，颇得清净理。
兴尽方下山，何必待之子。
`,
	`[32m《集灵台・其二》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
虢国夫人承主恩，平明骑马入宫门。
却嫌脂粉污颜色，淡扫峨眉朝至尊。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日》[m
[33m作者:秦观（１０４９－１１００）[m
一夕轻雷落万丝，霁光浮瓦碧参差。
有情芍药含春泪，无力蔷薇卧晓枝。
`,
	`[32m《韩碑》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
元和天子神武姿，彼何人哉轩与羲。
誓将上雪列圣耻，坐法宫中朝四夷。
淮西有贼五十载，封狼生[豸区][豸区]生罴。
不据山河据平地，长戈利矛日可麾。
帝得圣相相曰度，贼斫不死神扶持。
腰悬相印作都统，阴风惨澹天王旗。
ꆼ武古通作牙爪，仪曹外郎载笔随。
行军司马智且勇，十四万众犹虎貔。
入蔡缚贼献太庙，功无与让恩不訾。
帝曰汝度功第一，汝从事愈宜为辞。
愈拜稽首蹈且舞：金石刻画臣能为。
古者世称大手笔，此事不系于职司。
当仁自古有不让，言讫屡颔天子颐。
公退斋戒坐小阁，濡染大笔何淋漓，
点窜尧典舜典字，涂改清庙生民诗，
文成破体书在纸，清晨再拜铺丹墀，
表曰臣愈昧死上，咏神圣功书之碑，
碑高三丈字如斗，负以灵鳌蟠以螭。
句奇语重喻者少，谗之天子言其私。
长绳百尺拽碑倒，粗砂大石相磨治。
公子斯文若元气，先时已入人肝脾。
汤盘孔鼎有述作，今无其器存其辞。
呜呼圣王及圣相，相与ꆼ赫流淳熙。
公之斯文不示后，曷与三五相攀追。
愿书万本颂万过，口角流沫右手胝。
传之七十有二代，以为封禅玉检明堂基。
`,
	`[32m《临洞庭上张丞相》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
八月湖水平，涵虚混太清。
气蒸云梦泽，波撼岳阳城。
欲济无舟楫，端居耻圣明。
坐观垂钓者，徒有羡鱼情。
`,
	`[32m题目:《泊船瓜洲》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
京口瓜洲一水间，钟山只隔数重山。
春风又绿江南岸，明月何时照我还。
`,
	`[32m题目:《山中寄招叶秀才》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
夜鹤晓猿时复闻，寥寥长似耿离群。
月中未要恨丹桂，岭上且来看白云。
棋子不妨临水着，诗题兼好共僧分。
新忧他日荣名后，难得幽栖事静君。
`,
	`[32m题目:《惠崇春江晚景》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
竹外桃花三两枝，春江水暖鸭先知。
萎蒿满地芦芽短，正是河豚欲上时。
`,
	`[32m《琵琶行・并序》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
元和十年，余左迁九江郡司马。明年秋，送客湓浦口，闻舟中夜弹琵琶者。
听其音，铮铮然有京都声。问其人，本长安倡女，尝学琶琵于穆曹二善才。
年长色衰，委身为贾人妇。遂令酒使快弹数曲。曲罢悯然，自叙少小时
欢乐事，今漂沦憔悴，转徒于江湖间余出官二年，恬然自安，感斯人言，
是夕始觉有迁谪意。因为长句歌以赠之，凡六百一十六言。命曰《琵琶行》。
��
浔阳江头夜送客，枫叶荻花秋瑟瑟。
主人下马客在船，举酒欲饮无管弦。
醉不成欢惨将别，别时茫茫江浸月。
忽闻水上琵琶声，主人忘归客不发。
寻声暗问弹者谁，琵琶声停欲语迟。
移船相近邀相见，添酒回灯重开宴。
千呼万唤始出来，犹抱琵琶半遮面。
转轴拨弦三两声，未成曲调先有情。
弦弦掩抑声声思，似诉平生不得志。
低眉信手续续弹，说尽心中无限事。
轻拢慢捻抹复挑，初为霓裳后六幺。
大弦嘈嘈如急雨，小弦切切如私语。
嘈嘈切切错杂弹，大珠小珠落玉盘。
间关莺语花底滑，幽咽泉流水下滩。
水泉冷涩弦凝绝，凝绝不通声渐歇。
别有幽愁暗恨生，此时无声胜有声。
银瓶乍破水浆迸，铁骑突出刀枪鸣。
曲终收拨当心画，四弦一声如裂帛。
东船西舫悄无言，唯见江心秋月白。
沉吟放拨插弦中，整顿衣裳起敛容。
自言本是京城女，家在虾蟆陵下住。
十三学得琵琶成，名属教坊第一部。
曲罢常教善才服，妆成每被秋娘炉。
五陵年少争缠头，一曲红消不知数。
钿头银篦击节碎，血色罗裙翻酒污。
今年欢笑复明年，秋月春风等闲度。
弟走从军阿姨死，暮去朝来颜色故。
门前冷落车马稀，老大嫁作商人妇。
商人重利轻别离，前月浮梁买茶去。
去来江口守空船，绕舱明月江水寒。
夜深忽梦少年事，梦啼妆泪红阑干。
我闻琵琶已叹息，又闻此语重唧唧。
同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识。
我从去年辞帝京，谪居卧病浔阳城。
浔阳地僻无音乐，终岁不闻丝竹声。
住近湓江地低湿，黄芦苦竹绕宅生。
其间旦暮闻何物，杜鹃啼血猿哀鸣。
春江花朝秋月夜，往往取酒还独倾。
岂无山歌与姑笛，呕哑嘲哳难为听。
今夜闻君琵琶语，如听仙乐耳暂明。
莫辞更坐弹一曲，为君翻作琵琶行。
感我此言良久立，却坐促弦弦转急。
凄凄不似向前声，满座重闻皆掩泣。
座中泣下谁最多，江州司马清衫湿。
`,
	`[32m题目:《初入淮河》（选一）[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m

船离洪泽岸头沙，人到淮河意不佳。
何必桑乾方是远，中流以北即天涯！
`,
	`[32m《贾生》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
宣室求贤访逐臣，贾生才调更无伦。
可怜夜半虚前席，不问苍生问鬼神。
`,
	`[32m《梦李白・其二》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
浮云终日行，游子久不至。
三夜频梦君，情亲见君意。
告归常局促，苦道来不易。
江湖多风波，舟楫恐失坠。
出门搔白首，若负平生志。
冠盖满京华，斯人独憔悴。
孰云网恢恢，将老身反累。
千秋万岁名，寂寞身后事。
`,
	`[32m《夕次盱眙县》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
落帆逗淮镇，停舫临孤驿。
浩浩风起波，冥冥日沉夕。
人归山郭暗，雁下芦洲白。
独夜忆秦关，听钟未眠客。
`,
	`[32m《寻陆鸿渐不遇》[m
[33m作者：僧皎然[m
移家虽带郭，野径入桑麻。
近种篱边菊，秋来未著花。
扣门无犬吠，欲去问西家。
报道山中去，归来每日斜。
`,
	`[32m题目:《汝坟贫女》[m
[33m作者:梅尧臣（１００２－１０６０）[m
汝坟贫家女，行哭音凄怆。
自言有老父，孤独无丁壮。
郡吏来何暴，官家不敢抗。
督遣勿稽留，龙种去携杖。
勤勤嘱四邻，幸愿相依傍。
适闻闾里归，问讯疑犹强。
果然寒雨中，僵死壤河上。
弱质无以托，横尸无以葬。
生女不如男，虽存何所当。
拊膺呼苍天，生死将奈向。
`,
	`[32m题目:《和子由渑池怀旧》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
人生到处知何似，应似飞鸿踏雪泥：
泥上偶然留指爪，鸿飞那复计东西。
老僧已死成新塔，坏壁无由见旧题。
往日崎岖还记否，路上人困蹇驴嘶。
`,
	`[32m题目:《村行》[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m
马穿山径菊初黄，信马悠悠野兴长。
万壑有声含晚籁，数峰无语立斜阳。
棠梨叶落胭脂色，荞麦花开白雪香。
何事吟余忽惆怅，村桥原树似吾乡。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寓居定惠院之东杂花满山有海棠一株土人不知贵也》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
江城地瘴蕃草木，只有名花苦幽独。
嫣然一笑竹篱间，桃李满山总粗俗。
也知造物有深意，故遣佳人在空谷。
自然富贵出天姿，不待金盘荐华屋。
朱唇得酒晕生脸，翠袖卷纱红映肉。
林深雾暗晓光迟，日暖风轻春睡足。
雨中有泪亦凄怆，月下无人更清淑。
先生食饱无一事，散步逍遥自扪腹。
不问人家与僧舍，拄杖敲门看修竹。
忽逢绝艳照衰朽，叹息无言揩病目。
陋邦何处得此花，无乃好事移西蜀。
寸根千里不易到，衔子飞来定鸿鹄。
天涯流落俱可念，为饮一樽歌此曲。
明朝酒醒还独来，雪落纷纷哪忍触。
`,
	`[32m《长干行・其二》[m
[33m作者：崔颢[m
家临九江水，来去九江侧。
同是长干人，生小不相识。
`,
	`[32m《赠郭给事》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
洞门高阁霭余晖，桃李阴阴柳絮飞。
禁里疏钟官舍晚，省中啼鸟吏人稀。
晨摇玉佩趋金殿，夕奉天书拜琐闱。
强欲从君无那老，将因卧病解朝衣。
`,
	`[32m《玉台体》[m
[33m作者：权德舆[m
昨夜裙带解，今朝ꆼ子飞。
铅华不可弃，莫是藁砧归。
`,
	`[32m《秋夜曲》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
桂魄初生秋露微，轻罗已薄未更衣。
银筝夜久殷勤弄，心怯空房不忍归。
`,
	`[32m题目:《画眉鸟》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
百啭千声随意移，山花红紫树高低。
始知锁向金笼听，不及林间自在啼。
`,
	`[32m《秋夕》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
银烛秋光冷画屏，轻罗小扇扑流萤。
天阶夜色凉如水，坐看牵牛织女星。
`,
	`[32m题目:《王充道送水仙花五十支》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
凌波仙子生尘袜，水上轻盈步微月。
是谁招此断肠魂，种作寒花寄愁绝。
含香体素欲倾城，山矾是弟梅是兄。
坐对真成被花恼，出门一笑大江横。
`,
	`[32m题目:《牧童诗》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
骑牛远远过前村，短笛横吹隔陇闻。
多少长安名利客，机关用尽不如君。
`,
	`[32m《近试上张水部》[m
[33m作者：朱庆余[m
洞房昨夜停红烛，待晓堂前拜舅姑。
妆罢低声问夫婿，画眉深浅入时无。
`,
	`[32m《宿建德江》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
移舟泊烟渚，日暮客愁新。
野旷天低树，江清月近人。
`,
	`[32m《金陵图》[m
[33m作者：韦庄[m
江雨霏霏江草齐，六朝如梦鸟空啼。
无情最是台城柳，依旧烟笼十里堤。
`,
	`[32m《山居秋暝》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
空山新雨后，天气晚来秋。
明月松间照，清泉石上流。
竹喧归浣女，莲动下渔舟。
随意春芳歇，王孙自可留。
`,
	`[32m题目:《伤春》[m
[33m作者:陈与义（１０９０－１１３８）[m
庙堂无计可平戎，坐使甘泉照夕峰。
初怪上都闻战马，岂知穷海看飞龙。
孤臣霜发三千丈，每岁烟花一万重。
稍喜长沙向延阁，疲兵敢犯犬羊锋。
`,
	`[32m《初发扬子寄元大校书》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
凄凄去亲爱，泛泛入烟雾。
归棹洛阳人，残钟广陵树。
今朝为此别，何处还相遇。
世事波上舟，沿洄安得住。
`,
	`[32m《蜀相》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
丞相祠堂何处寻，锦官城外柏森森。
映阶碧草自春色，隔叶黄鹂空好音。
三顾频烦天下计，两朝开济老臣心。
出师未捷身先死，长使英雄泪满襟。
`,
	`[32m《寻南溪常山道人隐居》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
一路经行处，莓苔见屐痕。
白云依静渚，芳草闭闲门。
过雨看松色，随山到水源。
溪花与禅意，相对亦忘言。
`,
	`[32m题目:《牧童诗》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
骑牛远远过前村，短笛横吹隔陇闻。
多少长安名利客，机关用尽不如君。
`,
	`[32m《渔翁》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
渔翁夜傍西岩宿，晓汲清湘燃楚竹。
烟销日出不见人，ꆼ乃一声山水绿。
回看天际下中流，岩上无心云相逐。
`,
	`[32m题目:《伤春》[m
[33m作者:陈与义（１０９０－１１３８）[m
庙堂无计可平戎，坐使甘泉照夕峰。
初怪上都闻战马，岂知穷海看飞龙。
孤臣霜发三千丈，每岁烟花一万重。
稍喜长沙向延阁，疲兵敢犯犬羊锋。
`,
	`[32m题目:《咏柳》[m
[33m作者:曾巩（１０１９－１０８３）[m
乱条犹未变初黄，倚得东风势便狂。
解把飞花蒙日月，不知天地有清霜。
`,
	`[32m《次北固山下》[m
[33m作者：王湾[m
客路青山下，行舟绿水前。
潮平两岸阔，风正一帆悬。
海日生残夜，江春入旧年。
乡书何处达，归雁洛阳边。
`,
	`[32m题目:《四时田园杂兴》（选一）[m
[33m作者:范成大（１１２６－１１９３）[m
昼出耘田夜绩麻，村庄儿女各当家。
童孙未解供耕织，也傍桑阴学种瓜。
`,
	`[32m题目:《明妃曲》二首[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m

            其一

明妃初出汉宫时，泪湿春风鬓脚垂。
低徊顾影无颜色，尚得君王不自持。
归来却怪丹青手，入眼平生几曾有；
意态由来画不成，当时枉杀毛延寿。
一去心知更不归，可怜着尽汉宫衣；
寄声欲问塞南事，只有年年鸿雁飞。
家人万里传消息，好在毡城莫相忆；
君不见咫尺长门闭阿娇，人生失意无南北。


            其二

明妃初嫁与胡儿，毡车百辆皆胡姬。
含情欲语独无处，传与琵琶心自知。
黄金杆拨春风手，弹看飞鸿劝胡酒。
汉宫侍女暗垂泪，沙上行人却回首。
汉恩自浅胡恩深，人生乐在相知心。
可怜青冢已芜没，尚有哀弦留至今。
`,
	`[32m题目:《梅花绝句》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
闻道梅花坼晓风，雪堆遍满四山中。
何方可化身千亿，一树梅花一放翁。
`,
	`[32m《咏怀古迹・其四》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
蜀主征吴幸三峡，崩年亦在永安宫。
翠华想象空山里，玉殿虚无野寺中。
古庙杉松巢水鹤，岁时伏腊走村翁。
武侯祠屋常邻近，一体君臣祭祀同。
`,
	`[32m《瑶瑟怨》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
冰簟银床梦不成，碧天如水夜云轻。
雁声远过潇湘去，十二楼中月自明。
`,
	`[32m《陇西行》[m
[33m作者：陈陶[m
誓扫匈奴不顾身，五千貂锦丧胡尘。
可怜无定河边骨，犹是深闺梦里人。
`,
	`[32m《夏日南亭怀辛大》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
山光忽西落，池月渐东上。
散发乘夕凉，开轩卧闲敞。
荷风送香气，竹露滴清响。
欲取鸣琴弹，恨无知音赏。
感此怀故人，中宵劳梦想。
`,
	`[32m《饯别王十一南游》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
望君烟水阔，浑手泪沾巾。
飞鸟没何处，青山空向人。
长江一帆远，落日五湖春。
谁见汀洲上，相思愁白苹。
`,
	`[32m《蝉》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
本以高难饱，徒劳恨费声。
五更疏欲断，一树碧无情。
薄宦梗犹泛，故园芜已平。
烦君最相警，我亦举家清。
`,
	`[32m《早秋》[m
[33m作者：许浑[m
遥夜泛清瑟，西风生翠萝。
残萤栖玉露，早雁拂金河。
高树晓还密，远山晴更多。
淮南一叶下，自觉洞庭波。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春晴怀故园海棠》[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m
竹边台榭水边亭，不要人随只独行。
乍暖柳条无气力，淡晴花影不分明。
一番过雨来幽径，无数新禽有喜声。
只欠翠纱红映肉，两年寒食负先生。
`,
	`[32m《宿府》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
清秋幕府井梧寒，独宿江城蜡炬残。
永夜角声悲自语，中庭月色好谁看。
风尘荏苒音书绝，关塞萧条行路难。
已忍伶俜十年事，强移栖息一枝安。
`,
	`[32m题目:《明妃曲》二首[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m

            其一

明妃初出汉宫时，泪湿春风鬓脚垂。
低徊顾影无颜色，尚得君王不自持。
归来却怪丹青手，入眼平生几曾有；
意态由来画不成，当时枉杀毛延寿。
一去心知更不归，可怜着尽汉宫衣；
寄声欲问塞南事，只有年年鸿雁飞。
家人万里传消息，好在毡城莫相忆；
君不见咫尺长门闭阿娇，人生失意无南北。


            其二

明妃初嫁与胡儿，毡车百辆皆胡姬。
含情欲语独无处，传与琵琶心自知。
黄金杆拨春风手，弹看飞鸿劝胡酒。
汉宫侍女暗垂泪，沙上行人却回首。
汉恩自浅胡恩深，人生乐在相知心。
可怜青冢已芜没，尚有哀弦留至今。
`,
	`[32m《隋宫》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
紫泉宫殿锁烟霞，欲取芜城作帝家。
玉玺不缘归日角，锦帆应是到天涯。
于今腐草无萤火，终古垂杨有暮鸦。
地下若逢陈后主，岂宜重问后庭花。
`,
	`[32m《听筝》[m
[33m作者：李端[m
鸣筝金粟柱，素手玉房前。
欲得周郎顾，时时误拂弦。
`,
	`[32m《古意》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
男儿事长征，少小幽燕客。
赌胜马蹄下，由来轻七尺。
杀人莫敢前，须如猬毛磔。
黄云陇底白云飞，未得报恩不能归。
辽东小妇年十五，惯弹琵琶解歌舞。
今为羌笛出塞声，使我三军泪如雨。
`,
	`[32m《游子吟》[m
[33m作者：孟郊[m
慈母手中线，游子身上衣。
临行密密缝，意恐迟迟归。
谁言寸草心，报得三春晖。
`,
	`[32m《燕歌行・并序》[m
[33m作者：高适[m
开元二十六年，客有从元戎出塞而还者，作燕歌行以示适。
感征戍之事，因而和焉。
����
汉家烟尘在东北，汉将辞家破残贼。
男儿本自重横行，天子非常赐颜色。
[扌从]金伐鼓下榆关，旌旗逶迤碣石间。
校尉羽书飞瀚海，单于猎火照狼山。
山川萧条极边土，胡骑凭陵杂风雨。
战士军前半死生，美人帐下犹歌舞。
大漠穷秋塞草腓，孤城落日斗兵稀。
身当恩遇常轻敌，力尽关山未解围。
铁衣远戍辛勤久，玉筋应啼别离后。
少妇城南欲断肠，征人蓟北空回首。
边风飘飘那可度，绝域苍茫更何有。
杀气三时作阵云，寒声一夜传刁斗。
相看白刃血纷纷，死节从来岂顾勋。
君不见沙场征战苦，至今犹忆李将军。
`,
	`[32m《夜雨寄北》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
君问归期未有期，巴山夜雨涨秋池。
何当共剪西窗烛，却话巴山夜雨时。
`,
	`[32m题目:《雨晴》[m
[33m作者:陈与义（１０９０－１１３８）[m
天缺西南江面清，纤云不动小滩横。
墙头语鹊衣犹湿，楼外残雷气未平。
尽取微凉供稳睡，急搜奇句报新晴。
今宵绝胜无人共，卧看星河尽意明。
`,
	`[32m题目:《临安春雨初霁》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
世味年来薄似纱，谁令骑马客京华。
小楼一夜听春雨，深巷明朝卖杏花。
矮纸斜行闲作草，晴窗细乳戏分茶。
素衣莫起风尘叹，犹及清明可到家。
`,
	`[32m《和贾至舍人早朝大明宫之作》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
绛帻鸡人报晓筹，尚衣方进翠云裘。
九天阊阖开宫殿，万国衣冠拜冕旒。
日色才临仙掌动，香烟欲傍衮龙浮。
朝罢须裁五色诏，佩声归到凤池头。
`,
	`[32m《秋夜寄邱员外》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
怀君属秋夜，散步咏凉天。
空山松子落，幽人应未眠。
`,
	`[32m《下终南山过斛斯山人宿置酒》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
暮从碧山下，山月随人归。
却顾所来径，苍苍横翠微。
相携及田家，童稚开荆扉。
绿竹入幽径，青萝拂行衣。
欢言得所憩，美酒聊共挥。
长歌吟松风，曲尽河星稀。
我醉君复乐，陶然共忘机。
`,
	`[32m《蜀先主庙》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
天地英雄气，千秋尚凛然。
势分三足鼎，业复五铢钱。
得相能开国，生儿不象贤。
凄凉蜀故妓，来舞魏宫前。
`,
	`[32m《登高》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
风急天高猿啸哀，渚清沙白鸟飞回。
无边落木萧萧下，不尽长江滚滚来。
万里悲秋常作客，百年多病独登台。
艰难苦恨繁霜鬓，潦倒新停浊酒杯。
`,
	`[32m《寻西山隐者不遇》[m
[33m作者：邱为[m
绝顶一茅茨，直上三十里。
叩关无僮仆，窥室惟案几。
若非巾柴车，应是钓秋水。
差池不相见，黾勉空仰止。
草色新雨中，松声晚窗里。
及兹契幽绝，自足荡心耳。
虽无宾主意，颇得清净理。
兴尽方下山，何必待之子。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其一》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
鹫翎金仆姑，燕尾绣蝥弧。
独立扬新令，千营共一呼。
`,
	`[32m《金谷园》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
繁华事散逐香尘，流水无情草自春。
日暮东风怨啼鸟，落花犹似坠楼人。
`,
	`[32m题目:《梅花绝句》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
闻道梅花坼晓风，雪堆遍满四山中。
何方可化身千亿，一树梅花一放翁。
`,
	`[32m《宿府》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
清秋幕府井梧寒，独宿江城蜡炬残。
永夜角声悲自语，中庭月色好谁看。
风尘荏苒音书绝，关塞萧条行路难。
已忍伶俜十年事，强移栖息一枝安。
`,
	`[32m《九月登望仙台呈刘明府容》[m
[33m作者：崔曙[m
汉文皇帝有高台，此日登临曙色开。
三晋云山皆北向，二陵风雨自东来。
关门令尹谁能识，河上仙翁去不回。
且欲近寻彭泽宰，陶然共醉菊花杯。
`,
	`[32m《江南逢李龟年》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
岐王宅里寻常见，崔九堂前几度闻。
正是江南好风景，落花时节又逢君。
`,
	`[32m《琵琶行・并序》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
元和十年，余左迁九江郡司马。明年秋，送客湓浦口，闻舟中夜弹琵琶者。
听其音，铮铮然有京都声。问其人，本长安倡女，尝学琶琵于穆曹二善才。
年长色衰，委身为贾人妇。遂令酒使快弹数曲。曲罢悯然，自叙少小时
欢乐事，今漂沦憔悴，转徒于江湖间余出官二年，恬然自安，感斯人言，
是夕始觉有迁谪意。因为长句歌以赠之，凡六百一十六言。命曰《琵琶行》。
��
浔阳江头夜送客，枫叶荻花秋瑟瑟。
主人下马客在船，举酒欲饮无管弦。
醉不成欢惨将别，别时茫茫江浸月。
忽闻水上琵琶声，主人忘归客不发。
寻声暗问弹者谁，琵琶声停欲语迟。
移船相近邀相见，添酒回灯重开宴。
千呼万唤始出来，犹抱琵琶半遮面。
转轴拨弦三两声，未成曲调先有情。
弦弦掩抑声声思，似诉平生不得志。
低眉信手续续弹，说尽心中无限事。
轻拢慢捻抹复挑，初为霓裳后六幺。
大弦嘈嘈如急雨，小弦切切如私语。
嘈嘈切切错杂弹，大珠小珠落玉盘。
间关莺语花底滑，幽咽泉流水下滩。
水泉冷涩弦凝绝，凝绝不通声渐歇。
别有幽愁暗恨生，此时无声胜有声。
银瓶乍破水浆迸，铁骑突出刀枪鸣。
曲终收拨当心画，四弦一声如裂帛。
东船西舫悄无言，唯见江心秋月白。
沉吟放拨插弦中，整顿衣裳起敛容。
自言本是京城女，家在虾蟆陵下住。
十三学得琵琶成，名属教坊第一部。
曲罢常教善才服，妆成每被秋娘炉。
五陵年少争缠头，一曲红消不知数。
钿头银篦击节碎，血色罗裙翻酒污。
今年欢笑复明年，秋月春风等闲度。
弟走从军阿姨死，暮去朝来颜色故。
门前冷落车马稀，老大嫁作商人妇。
商人重利轻别离，前月浮梁买茶去。
去来江口守空船，绕舱明月江水寒。
夜深忽梦少年事，梦啼妆泪红阑干。
我闻琵琶已叹息，又闻此语重唧唧。
同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识。
我从去年辞帝京，谪居卧病浔阳城。
浔阳地僻无音乐，终岁不闻丝竹声。
住近湓江地低湿，黄芦苦竹绕宅生。
其间旦暮闻何物，杜鹃啼血猿哀鸣。
春江花朝秋月夜，往往取酒还独倾。
岂无山歌与姑笛，呕哑嘲哳难为听。
今夜闻君琵琶语，如听仙乐耳暂明。
莫辞更坐弹一曲，为君翻作琵琶行。
感我此言良久立，却坐促弦弦转急。
凄凄不似向前声，满座重闻皆掩泣。
座中泣下谁最多，江州司马清衫湿。
`,
	`[32m《春宫怨》[m
[33m作者：杜荀鹤[m
早被婵娟误，欲归临镜慵。
承恩不在貌，教妾若为容。
风暖鸟声碎，日高花影重。
年年越溪女，相忆采芙蓉。
`,
	`[32m《寻南溪常山道人隐居》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
一路经行处，莓苔见屐痕。
白云依静渚，芳草闭闲门。
过雨看松色，随山到水源。
溪花与禅意，相对亦忘言。
`,
	`[32m题目:《伤春》[m
[33m作者:陈与义（１０９０－１１３８）[m
庙堂无计可平戎，坐使甘泉照夕峰。
初怪上都闻战马，岂知穷海看飞龙。
孤臣霜发三千丈，每岁烟花一万重。
稍喜长沙向延阁，疲兵敢犯犬羊锋。
`,
	`[32m题目:《山中寄招叶秀才》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
夜鹤晓猿时复闻，寥寥长似耿离群。
月中未要恨丹桂，岭上且来看白云。
棋子不妨临水着，诗题兼好共僧分。
新忧他日荣名后，难得幽栖事静君。
`,
	`[32m《春晓》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
春眠不觉晓，处处闻啼鸟。
夜来风雨声，花落知多少。
`,
	`[32m《哥舒歌》[m
[33m作者：西鄙人[m
北斗七星高，哥舒夜带刀。
至今窥牧马，不敢过临洮。
`,
	`[32m《洛阳女儿行》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
洛阳女儿对门居，才可容颜十五余。
良人玉勒乘骢马，侍女金盘脍鲤鱼。
画阁朱楼尽相望，红桃绿柳垂檐向。
罗帏送上七香车，宝扇迎归九华帐。
狂夫富贵在青春，意气骄奢剧季伦。
自怜碧玉亲教舞，不惜珊瑚持与人。
春窗曙灭九微火，九微片片飞花ꆼ。
戏罢曾无理曲时，妆成只是熏香坐。
城中相识尽繁华，日夜经过赵李家。
谁怜越女颜如玉，贫贱江头自浣沙。
`,
	`[32m《九月九日忆山东兄弟》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲。
遥知兄弟登高处，遍插茱萸少一人。
`,
	`[32m《陇西行》[m
[33m作者：陈陶[m
誓扫匈奴不顾身，五千貂锦丧胡尘。
可怜无定河边骨，犹是深闺梦里人。
`,
	`[32m《登鹳雀楼》[m
[33m作者：王之涣[m
白日依山尽，黄河入海流。
欲穷千里目，更上一层楼。
`,
	`[32m《后宫词》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
泪湿罗巾梦不成，夜深前殿按歌声。
红颜未老恩先断，斜倚熏笼坐到明。
`,
	`[32m《郡斋雨中与诸文士燕集》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
兵卫森画戟，燕寝凝清香。
海上风雨至，逍遥池阁凉。
烦疴近消散，嘉宾复满堂。
自惭居处崇，未睹斯民康。
理会是非遣，性达形迹忘。
鲜肥属时禁，蔬果幸见尝。
俯饮一杯酒，仰聆金玉章。
神欢体自轻，意欲凌风翔。
吴中盛文史，群彦今汪洋。
方知大藩地，岂曰财赋强。
`,
	`[32m《奉济驿重送严公四韵》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
远送从此别，青山空复情。
几时杯重把，昨夜月同行。
列郡讴歌惜，三朝出入荣。
江村独归处，寂寞养残生。
`,
	`[32m《金谷园》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
繁华事散逐香尘，流水无情草自春。
日暮东风怨啼鸟，落花犹似坠楼人。
`,
	`[32m题目:《沈园》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
城上斜阳画角哀，沈园非复旧池台，
伤心桥下春波绿，曾是惊鸿照影来。

梦断香消四十年，沈园柳老不吹绵。
此身行作稽山土，犹吊遗踪一泫然。
`,
	`[32m《客至》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
舍南舍北皆春水，但见群鸥日日来。
花径不曾缘客扫，蓬门今始为君开。
盘飧市远无兼味，樽酒家贫只旧醅。
肯与邻翁相对饮，隔离呼取尽余杯。
`,
	`[32m《咏怀古迹・其三》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
群山万壑赴荆门，生长明妃尚有村。
一去紫台连朔漠，独留青冢向黄昏，
画图省识春风面，环佩空归月夜魂。
千载琵琶作胡语，分明怨恨曲中论。
`,
	`[32m《送李端》[m
[33m作者：卢伦[m
故关衰草遍，离别正堪悲。
路出寒云外，人归暮雪时。
少孤为客早，多难识君迟。
掩泣空相向，风尘何所期。
`,
	`[32m《何满子》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
故国三千里，深宫二十年。
一声何满子，双泪落君前。
`,
	`[32m《赠别・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
娉娉袅袅十三余，豆蔻梢头二月初。
春风十里扬州路，卷上珠帘总不如。
`,
	`[32m《寄扬州韩绰判官》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
青山隐隐水迢迢，秋尽江南草未凋。
二十四桥明月夜，玉人何处教吹箫。
`,
	`[32m题目:《喜太守毕朝散致政》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
功名富贵两蜗角，险阻艰难一酒杯。
百体观来身是幻，万夫争处首先回。
`,
	`[32m《奉和中书舍人贾至早朝大明宫》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
鸡鸣紫陌曙光寒，莺啭皇州春色阑。
金阙晓钟开万户，玉阶仙仗拥千官。
花迎剑佩星初落，柳拂旌旗露未干。
独有凤凰池上客，阳春一曲和皆难。
`,
	`[32m题目:《自嘲》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
少读诗书陋汉唐，莫年身世寄农桑。
骑驴两脚欲到地，爱酒一樽常在旁。
老去形容虽变改，醉来意气尚轩昂。
太行王屋何由动，堪笑愚公不自量。
`,
	`[32m《贼退示官吏・并序》[m
[33m作者：元结[m
癸卯岁西原贼入道州，焚烧杀掠，几尽而去。
明年，贼又攻永州破邵，不犯此州边鄙而退。
岂力能制敌欤？盖蒙其伤怜而已。
诸使何为忍苦征敛，故作诗一篇以示官吏。
����
昔岁逢太平，山林二十年。
泉源在庭户，洞壑当门前。
井税有常期，日晏犹得眠。
忽然遭世变，数岁亲戎旃。
今来典斯郡，山夷又纷然。
城小贼不屠，人贫伤可怜。
是以陷邻境，此州独见全。
使臣将王命，岂不如贼焉。
令彼征敛者，迫之如火煎。
谁能绝人命，以作时世贤。
思欲委符节，引竿自刺船。
将家就鱼麦，归老江湖边。
`,
	`[32m《梦游天姥吟留别》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
海客谈瀛洲，烟涛微茫信难求。
越人语天姥，云霓明灭或可睹。
天姥连天向天横，势拔五岳掩赤城。
天台四万八千丈，对此欲倒东南倾。
我欲因之梦吴越，一夜飞度镜湖月。
湖月照我影，送我至剡溪。
谢公宿处今尚在，绿水荡漾清猿啼，
脚著谢公屐，身登青云梯。
半壁见海日，空中闻天鸡。
千岩万转路不定，迷花倚石忽已暝。
熊咆龙吟殷岩泉，ꆼ深林兮惊层巅。
云青青兮欲雨，水澹澹兮生烟。
列缺霹雳，丘峦崩摧。
洞天石扇，訇然中开。
青冥浩荡不见底，日月照耀金银台。
霓为衣兮风为马，云之君兮纷纷而来下。
虎鼓瑟兮鸾回车，仙之人兮列如麻。
忽魂悸以魄动，恍惊起而长嗟。
惟觉时之枕席，失向来之烟霞。
世间行乐亦如此，古来万事东流水。
别君去兮何时还？
且放白鹿青崖间，须行即骑访名山。
安能摧眉折腰事权贵，使我不得开心颜！
`,
	`[32m题目:《霰》[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m
雪花遣霰作前锋，势破张皇欲暗空。
筛瓦巧寻疏处漏，跳阶误到暖边融。
寒声带雨山难白，冷气侵人火失红。
方讶一冬暄较甚，今宵敢叹卧如弓。
`,
	`[32m《终南望余雪》[m
[33m作者：祖咏[m
终南阴岭秀，积雪浮云端。
林表明霁色，城中增暮寒。
`,
	`[32m《野望》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
西山白雪三城戍，南浦清江万里桥。
海内风尘诸弟隔，天涯涕泪一身遥。
惟将迟暮供多病，未有涓埃答圣朝。
跨马出郊时极目，不堪人事日萧条。
`,
	`[32m《岁暮归南山》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
北阙休上书，南山归敝庐。
不才明主弃，多病故人疏。
白发催年老，青阳逼岁除。
永怀愁不寐，松月夜窗虚。
`,
	`[32m《题金陵渡》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
金陵津渡小山楼，一宿行人自可愁。
潮落夜江斜月里，两三星火是瓜州。
`,
	`[32m《无题・其二》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
重帏深下莫愁堂，卧后清宵细细长。
神女生涯原是梦，小姑居处本无郎。
风波不信菱枝弱，月露谁教桂叶香。
直道相思了无益，未妨惆怅是清狂。
`,
	`[32m《已凉》[m
[33m作者：韩翎[m
碧阑干外绣帘垂，猩色屏风画折枝。
八尺龙须方锦褥，已凉天气未寒时。
`,
	`[32m题目:《游山西村》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
莫笑农家腊酒浑，丰年留客足鸡豚。
山重水复疑无路，柳暗花明又一村。
萧鼓追随春社近，衣冠简朴古风存。
从今若许闲乘月，拄杖无时夜叩门。
`,
	`[32m《梦李白・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
死别已吞声，生别常恻恻。
江南瘴疠地，逐客无消息。
故人入我梦，明我常相忆。
君今在罗网，何以有羽翼？
恐非平生魂，路远不可测。
魂来枫林青，魂返关塞黑。
落月满屋梁，犹疑照颜色。
水深波浪阔，无使蛟龙得。
`,
	`[32m《关山月》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
明月出天山，苍茫云海间。
长风几万里，吹度玉门关。
汉下白登道，胡窥青海湾。
由来征战地，不见有人还。
戍客望边色，思归多苦颜。
高楼当此夜，叹息未应闲。
`,
	`[32m题目:《三衢道中》[m
[33m作者:曾几（１０８４－１１６６）[m
梅子黄时日日晴，小溪泛尽却山行。
绿阴不减来时路，添得黄鹂四五声。
`,
	`[32m题目:《柳》[m
[33m作者:寇准（９６１－１０２３）[m
晓带轻烟间杏花，晚凝深翠拂平沙。
长条别有风流处，密映钱塘苏小家。
`,
	`[32m题目:《秋思》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
利欲驱人万火牛，江湖浪迹一沙鸥。
日长似岁闲方觉，事大如山醉亦休。
衣杵相望深巷月，井桐摇落故园秋。
欲舒老眼无高处，安得元龙百尺楼。
`,
	`[32m《春宿左省》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
花隐掖垣暮，啾啾栖鸟过。
星临万户动，月傍九霄多。
不寝听金钥，因风想玉珂。
明朝有封事，数问夜如何？
`,
	`[32m《月下独酌》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
花间一壶酒，独酌无相亲。
举杯邀明月，对影成三人。
月既不解饮，影徒随我身。
暂伴月将影，行乐须及春。
我歌月徘徊，我舞影零乱。
醒时同交欢，醉后各分散。
永结无情游，相期邈云汉。
`,
	`[32m《长干行・其二》[m
[33m作者：崔颢[m
家临九江水，来去九江侧。
同是长干人，生小不相识。
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其三》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
闲坐悲君亦自悲，百年多是几多时。
邓攸无子寻知命，潘岳悼亡犹费词。
同穴ꆼ冥何所望，他生缘会更难期。
惟将终夜常开眼，报答平生未展眉。
`,
	`[32m《贫女》[m
[33m作者：秦韬玉[m
蓬门未识绮罗香，拟托良媒益自伤。
谁爱风流高格调，共怜时世俭梳妆。
敢将十指夸针巧，不把双眉斗画长。
苦恨年年压金线，为他人作嫁衣裳。
`,
	`[32m《终南山》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
太乙近天都，连山到海隅。
白云回望合，青霭入看无。
分野中峰变，阴晴众壑殊。
欲投人处宿，隔水问樵夫。
`,
	`[32m《听蜀僧浚弹琴》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
蜀僧抱绿绮，西下峨嵋峰。
为我一挥手，如听万壑松。
客心洗流水，余响入霜钟。
不觉碧山暮，秋云暗几重。
`,
	`[32m《枫桥夜泊》[m
[33m作者：张继[m
月落乌啼霜满天，江枫渔火对愁眠。
姑苏城外寒山寺，夜半钟声到客船。
`,
	`[32m《梦李白・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
死别已吞声，生别常恻恻。
江南瘴疠地，逐客无消息。
故人入我梦，明我常相忆。
君今在罗网，何以有羽翼？
恐非平生魂，路远不可测。
魂来枫林青，魂返关塞黑。
落月满屋梁，犹疑照颜色。
水深波浪阔，无使蛟龙得。
`,
	`[32m《长相思・其一》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
长相思，在长安。
络纬秋啼金井阑，微霜凄凄簟色寒。
孤灯不明思欲绝，卷帷望月空长叹。
美人如花隔云端，上有青冥之高天，下有渌水之波澜。
天长地远魂飞苦，梦魂不到关山难。
长相思，摧心肝。
`,
	`[32m《八月十五夜赠张功曹》[m
[33m作者：韩愈[m
纤云四卷天无河，清风吹空月舒波。
沙平水息声影绝，一杯相属君当歌。
君歌声酸辞且苦，不能听终泪如雨。
洞庭连天九疑高，蛟龙出没猩鼯号。
十生九死到官所，幽居默默如藏逃。
下床畏蛇食畏药，海气湿蛰熏腥臊。
昨者州前捶大鼓，嗣皇继圣登夔皋。
赦书一日行万里，罪从大辟皆除死。
迁者追回流者还，涤瑕荡垢清朝班。
州家申名使家抑，坎轲只得移荆蛮。
判司卑官不堪说，未免捶楚尘埃间。
同时辈流多上道，天路幽险难追攀。
君歌且休听我歌，我歌今与君殊科：
一年明月今宵多，人生由命非由他，
有酒不饮奈明何？
`,
	`[32m题目:《霰》[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m
雪花遣霰作前锋，势破张皇欲暗空。
筛瓦巧寻疏处漏，跳阶误到暖边融。
寒声带雨山难白，冷气侵人火失红。
方讶一冬暄较甚，今宵敢叹卧如弓。
`,
	`[32m《金缕衣》[m
[33m作者：杜秋娘[m
劝君莫惜金缕衣，劝君惜取少年时。
花开堪折直须折，莫待无花空折枝。
`,
	`[32m《黄鹤楼》[m
[33m作者：崔颢[m
昔人已乘黄鹤去，此地空余黄鹤楼。
黄鹤一去不复返，白云千载空悠悠。
晴川历历汉阳树，芳草萋萋鹦鹉洲。
日暮乡关何处是，烟波江上使人愁。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寄黄几复》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
我居北海君南海，寄雁传书谢不能。
桃李春风一杯酒，江湖夜雨十年灯。
持家但有四立壁，治国不蕲三折肱。
想得读书头已白，隔溪猿哭瘴烟滕。
`,
	`[32m《八月十五夜赠张功曹》[m
[33m作者：韩愈[m
纤云四卷天无河，清风吹空月舒波。
沙平水息声影绝，一杯相属君当歌。
君歌声酸辞且苦，不能听终泪如雨。
洞庭连天九疑高，蛟龙出没猩鼯号。
十生九死到官所，幽居默默如藏逃。
下床畏蛇食畏药，海气湿蛰熏腥臊。
昨者州前捶大鼓，嗣皇继圣登夔皋。
赦书一日行万里，罪从大辟皆除死。
迁者追回流者还，涤瑕荡垢清朝班。
州家申名使家抑，坎轲只得移荆蛮。
判司卑官不堪说，未免捶楚尘埃间。
同时辈流多上道，天路幽险难追攀。
君歌且休听我歌，我歌今与君殊科：
一年明月今宵多，人生由命非由他，
有酒不饮奈明何？
`,
	`[32m《天末怀李白》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
凉风起天末，君子意如何。
鸿雁几时到，江湖秋水多。
文章憎命达，魑魅喜人过。
应共冤魂语，投诗赠汨罗。
`,
	`[32m《出塞》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
秦时明月汉时关，万里长征人未还。
但使龙城飞将在，不教胡马渡阴山。
`,
	`[32m《登岳阳楼》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
昔闻洞庭水，今上岳阳楼。
吴楚东南坼，乾坤日夜浮。
亲朋无一字，老病有孤舟。
戎马关山北，凭轩涕泗流。
`,
	`[32m题目:《咏柳》[m
[33m作者:曾巩（１０１９－１０８３）[m
乱条犹未变初黄，倚得东风势便狂。
解把飞花蒙日月，不知天地有清霜。
`,
	`[32m《无题・其二》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
重帏深下莫愁堂，卧后清宵细细长。
神女生涯原是梦，小姑居处本无郎。
风波不信菱枝弱，月露谁教桂叶香。
直道相思了无益，未妨惆怅是清狂。
`,
	`[32m题目:《襄邑道中》[m
[33m作者:陈与义（１０９０－１１３８）[m
飞花两岸照船红，百里榆堤半日风。
卧看满天云不动，不知云与我俱东。
`,
	`[32m题目:《伤春》[m
[33m作者:陈与义（１０９０－１１３８）[m
庙堂无计可平戎，坐使甘泉照夕峰。
初怪上都闻战马，岂知穷海看飞龙。
孤臣霜发三千丈，每岁烟花一万重。
稍喜长沙向延阁，疲兵敢犯犬羊锋。
`,
	`[32m《送灵澈》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
苍苍竹林寺，杳杳钟声晚。
荷笠带斜阳，青山独归远。
`,
	`[32m《杂诗》[m
[33m作者：沈ꆼ期[m
闻道黄龙戌，频年不解兵。
可怜闺里月，长在汉家营。
少妇今春意，良人昨夜情。
谁能将旗鼓，一为取龙城。
`,
	`[32m题目:《活水亭观书有感》[m
[33m作者:朱熹（１１３０－１２００）[m
半亩方塘一鉴开，天光云影共徘徊。
问渠那得清如许，为有源头活水来。
`,
	`[32m《赠别・其二》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
多情却似总无情，唯觉尊前笑不成。
蜡烛有心还惜别，替人垂泪到天明。
`,
	`[32m《长相思・其一》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
长相思，在长安。
络纬秋啼金井阑，微霜凄凄簟色寒。
孤灯不明思欲绝，卷帷望月空长叹。
美人如花隔云端，上有青冥之高天，下有渌水之波澜。
天长地远魂飞苦，梦魂不到关山难。
长相思，摧心肝。
`,
	`[32m题目:《山中寄招叶秀才》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
夜鹤晓猿时复闻，寥寥长似耿离群。
月中未要恨丹桂，岭上且来看白云。
棋子不妨临水着，诗题兼好共僧分。
新忧他日荣名后，难得幽栖事静君。
`,
	`[32m题目:《无题》[m
[33m作者:杨亿（９６４－１０２０）[m
巫阳归梦融千峰，辟恶香消翠被浓。
桂魄渐亏愁晓月，蕉心不展怨春风。
遥山黯黯眉长敛，一水盈盈语未通。
漫托［昆鸟］弦传恨意，云鬟日夕似飞蓬。
`,
	`[32m《春宫曲》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
昨夜风开露井桃，未央前殿月轮高。
平阳歌舞新承宠，帘外春寒赐锦袍。
`,
	`[32m《闺怨》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
闺中少妇不知愁，春日凝妆上翠楼。
忽见陌头杨柳色，悔教夫婿觅封侯。
`,
	`[32m《长干行》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
妾发初覆额，折花门前剧。
郎骑竹马来，绕床弄青梅。
同居长干里，两小无嫌猜。
十四为君妇，羞颜未尝开。
低头向暗壁，千唤不一回。
十五始展眉，愿同尘与灰。
常存抱柱信，岂上望夫台。
十六君远行，瞿塘滟预堆。
五月不可触，猿声天上哀。
门前迟行迹，一一生绿苔。
苔深不能扫，落叶秋风早。
八月蝴蝶黄，双飞西园草。
感此伤妾心，坐愁红颜老。
早晚下三巴，预将书报家。
相迎不道远，直至长风沙。
`,
	`[32m《归嵩山作》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
清川带长薄，车马去闲闲。
流水如有意，暮禽相与还。
荒城临古渡，落日满秋山。
迢递嵩高下，归来且闭关。
`,
	`[32m题目:《示儿》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
死去元知万事空，但悲不见九州同。
王师北定中原日，家祭无忘告乃翁。
`,
	`[32m《寻陆鸿渐不遇》[m
[33m作者：僧皎然[m
移家虽带郭，野径入桑麻。
近种篱边菊，秋来未著花。
扣门无犬吠，欲去问西家。
报道山中去，归来每日斜。
`,
	`[32m《枫桥夜泊》[m
[33m作者：张继[m
月落乌啼霜满天，江枫渔火对愁眠。
姑苏城外寒山寺，夜半钟声到客船。
`,
	`[32m《经邹鲁祭孔子而叹之》[m
[33m作者：唐玄宗[m
夫子何为者，栖栖一代中。
地犹鄹氏邑，宅即鲁王宫。
叹凤嗟身否，伤麟怨道穷。
今看两楹奠，当与梦时同。
`,
	`[32m《走马川行奉送封大夫出师西征》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
君不见，
走马川行雪海边，平沙莽莽黄入天。
轮台九月风夜吼，一川碎石大如斗，随风满地石乱走。
匈奴草黄马正肥，金山西见烟尘飞，汉家大将西出师。
将军金甲夜不脱，半夜军行戈相拨，风头如刀面如割。
马毛带雪汗气蒸，五花连钱旋作冰，幕中草檄砚水凝。
虏骑闻之应胆慑，料知短兵不敢接，军师西门伫献捷。
`,
	`[32m《望岳》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
岱宗夫如何，齐鲁青未了。
造化钟神秀，阴阳割昏晓。
荡胸生层云，决眦入归鸟。
会当凌绝顶，一览众山小。
`,
	`[32m《江雪》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
千山鸟飞绝，万径人踪灭。
孤舟蓑笠翁，独钓寒江雪。
`,
	`[32m题目:《自责》二首[m
[33m作者:朱淑真（《宋诗纪事》：“号幽栖居士，钱塘人，世居桃村。工诗，嫁为市井民妻，不得志殁。”）[m

            其一

女子弄文诚可罪，那堪咏月更吟风。
磨穿铁砚非吾事，绣折金针却有功。


            其二

闷无消遣只看诗，不见诗中话别离。
添得情怀转萧索，始知伶俐不如痴。
`,
	`[32m《奉济驿重送严公四韵》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
远送从此别，青山空复情。
几时杯重把，昨夜月同行。
列郡讴歌惜，三朝出入荣。
江村独归处，寂寞养残生。
`,
	`[32m《轮台歌奉送封大夫出师西征》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
轮台城头夜吹角，轮台城北旄头落。
羽书昨夜过渠黎，单于已在金山西。
戍楼西望烟尘黑，汉兵屯在轮台北。
上将拥旄西出征，平明吹笛大军行。
四边伐鼓雪海涌，三军大呼阴山动。
虏塞兵气连云屯，战场白骨缠草根。
剑河风急云片阔，沙口石冻马蹄脱。
亚相勤王甘苦辛，誓将报主静边尘。
古来青史谁不见，今见功名胜古人。
`,
	`[32m《行宫》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
寥落古行宫，宫花寂寞红。
白头宫女在，闲坐说玄宗。
`,
	`[32m题目:《暑中杂咏》[m
[33m作者:苏舜钦（１００８－１０４８）[m
嘉果浮沉酒半醺，床头书册乱纷纷。
北轩凉吹开疏竹，卧看青天行白云。
`,
	`[32m题目:《过零丁洋》[m
[33m作者:文天祥（１２３６－１２８２）[m
辛苦遭逢起一经，干戈寥落四周星。
山河破碎风飘絮，身世浮沉雨打萍。
惶恐滩头说惶恐，零丁洋里叹零丁。
人生自古谁无死，留取丹心照汗青。
`,
	`[32m《集灵台・其一》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
日光斜照集灵台，红树花迎晓露开。
昨夜上皇新授ꆼ，太真含笑入帘来。
`,
	`[32m题目:《雨中登岳阳楼望君山》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m

            其一

投荒万死鬓毛斑，生入瞿塘滟［氵预］关。
未到江南先一笑，岳阳楼上对君山。

            其二

满川风雨独凭栏，绾结湘娥十二鬟。
可惜不当湖水面，银山堆里看青山。
`,
	`[32m《梦李白・其二》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
浮云终日行，游子久不至。
三夜频梦君，情亲见君意。
告归常局促，苦道来不易。
江湖多风波，舟楫恐失坠。
出门搔白首，若负平生志。
冠盖满京华，斯人独憔悴。
孰云网恢恢，将老身反累。
千秋万岁名，寂寞身后事。
`,
	`[32m《长恨歌》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
汉皇重色思倾国，御宇多年求不得。
杨家有女初长成，养在深闺人未识。
天生丽质难自弃，一朝选在君王侧。
回眸一笑百媚生，六宫粉黛无颜色。
春寒赐浴华清池，温泉水滑洗凝脂。
侍儿扶起娇无力，始是新承恩泽时。
云鬓花颜金步摇，芙蓉帐暖度春宵。
春宵苦短日高起，从此君王不早朝。
承欢侍宴无闲暇，春从春游夜专夜。
后宫佳丽三千人，三千宠爱在一身。
金屋妆成娇侍夜，玉楼宴罢醉和春。
姊妹弟兄皆列土，可怜光彩生门户。
遂令天下父母心，不重生男重生女。
骊宫高处入青云，仙乐风飘处处闻。
缓歌谩舞凝丝竹，尽日君王看不足。
渔阳鼙鼓动地来，惊破霓裳羽衣曲。
九重城阙烟尘生，千乘万骑西南行。
翠华摇摇行复止，西出都门百余里。
六军不发无奈何，宛转蛾眉马前死。
花钿委地无人收，翠翘金雀玉搔头。
君王掩面救不得，回看血泪相和流。
黄埃散漫风萧索，云栈萦纡登剑阁。
峨嵋山下少人行，旌旗无光日色薄。
蜀江水碧蜀山青，圣主朝朝暮暮情。
行宫见月伤心色，夜雨闻铃肠断声。
天旋地转回龙驭，到此踌躇不能去。
马嵬坡下泥土中，不见玉颜空死处。
君臣相顾尽沾衣，东望都门信马归。
归来池苑皆依旧，太液芙蓉未央柳。
芙蓉如面柳如眉，对此如何不泪垂。
春风桃李花开日，秋雨梧桐叶落时。
西宫南内多秋草，落叶满阶红不扫。
梨园弟子白发新，椒房阿监青娥老。
夕殿萤飞思悄然，孤灯挑尽未成眠。
迟迟钟鼓初长夜，耿耿星河欲曙天。
鸳鸯瓦冷霜华重，翡翠衾寒谁与共。
悠悠生死别经年，魂魄不曾来入梦。
临邛道士鸿都客，能以精诚致魂魄。
为感君王辗转思，遂教方士殷勤觅。
排空驭气奔如电，升天入地求之遍。
上穷碧落下黄泉，两处茫茫皆不见。
忽闻海上有仙山，山在虚无缥渺间。
楼阁玲珑五云起，其中绰约多仙子。
中有一人字太真，雪肤花貌参差是。
金阙西厢叩玉扃，转教小玉报双成。
闻道汉家天子使，九华帐里梦魂惊。
揽衣推枕起徘徊，珠箔银屏迤逦开。
云鬓半偏新睡觉，花冠不整下堂来。
风吹仙袂飘飘举，犹似霓裳羽衣舞。
玉容寂寞泪阑干，梨花一枝春带雨。
含情凝睇谢君王，一别音容两渺茫。
昭阳殿里恩爱绝，蓬莱宫中日月长。
回头下望人寰处，不见长安见尘雾。
惟将旧物表深情，钿合金钗寄将去。
钗留一股合一扇，钗擘黄金合分钿。
但教心似金钿坚，天上人间会相见。
临别殷勤重寄词，词中有誓两心知。
七月七日长生殿，夜半无人私语时。
在天愿作比翼鸟，在地愿为连理枝。
天长地久有时尽，此恨绵绵无绝期。
`,
	`[32m《白雪歌送武判官归京》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
北风卷地白草折，胡天八月即飞雪。
忽如一夜春风来，千树万树梨花开。
散入珠帘湿罗幕，狐裘不暖锦衾薄。
将军角弓不得控，都护铁衣冷犹著。
瀚海阑干百丈冰，愁云惨淡万里凝。
中军置酒饮归客，胡琴琵琶与羌笛。
纷纷暮雪下辕门，风掣红旗冻不翻。
轮台东门送君去，去时雪满天山路。
山回路转不见君，雪上空留马行处。
`,
	`[32m题目:《自嘲》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
少读诗书陋汉唐，莫年身世寄农桑。
骑驴两脚欲到地，爱酒一樽常在旁。
老去形容虽变改，醉来意气尚轩昂。
太行王屋何由动，堪笑愚公不自量。
`,
	`[32m《秋日登吴公台上寺远眺》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
古台摇落后，秋入望乡心。
野寺来人少，云峰隔水深。
夕阳依旧垒，寒磬满空林。
惆怅南朝事，长江独自今。
`,
	`[32m题目:《孤山寺瑞上人房写望》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
底处凭栏思眇然，孤山塔后阁西偏。
阴沉画轴林间寺，零落棋枰葑上田。
秋景有时飞独鸟，夕阳无事起寒烟。
迟留更爱吾庐近，只待春来看雪天。
`,
	`[32m题目:《自嘲》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
少读诗书陋汉唐，莫年身世寄农桑。
骑驴两脚欲到地，爱酒一樽常在旁。
老去形容虽变改，醉来意气尚轩昂。
太行王屋何由动，堪笑愚公不自量。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寄黄几复》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
我居北海君南海，寄雁传书谢不能。
桃李春风一杯酒，江湖夜雨十年灯。
持家但有四立壁，治国不蕲三折肱。
想得读书头已白，隔溪猿哭瘴烟滕。
`,
	`[32m《题大庾岭北驿》[m
[33m作者：宋之问[m
阳月南飞雁，传闻至此回。
我行殊未已，何日复归来。
江静潮初落，林昏瘴不开，
明朝望乡处，应见陇头梅。
`,
	`[32m《新嫁娘》[m
[33m作者：王建[m
三日入厨下，洗手作羹汤。
未谙姑食性，先遣小姑尝。
`,
	`[32m《秋日登吴公台上寺远眺》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
古台摇落后，秋入望乡心。
野寺来人少，云峰隔水深。
夕阳依旧垒，寒磬满空林。
惆怅南朝事，长江独自今。
`,
	`[32m《月夜》[m
[33m作者：刘方平[m
更深月色半人家，北斗阑干南斗斜。
今夜偏知春气暖，虫声新透绿窗纱。
`,
	`[32m《书边事》[m
[33m作者：张乔[m
调角断清秋，征人倚戌楼。
春风对青冢，白日落梁州。
大漠无兵阻，穷边有客游。
蕃情似此水，长愿向南流。
`,
	`[32m题目:《偶题》[m
[33m作者:张耒（１０５２－１１１２）[m
相逢记得画桥头，花似精神柳似柔。
莫谓无情即无语，春风传意水传愁。
`,
	`[32m《咏怀古迹・其三》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
群山万壑赴荆门，生长明妃尚有村。
一去紫台连朔漠，独留青冢向黄昏，
画图省识春风面，环佩空归月夜魂。
千载琵琶作胡语，分明怨恨曲中论。
`,
	`[32m《相思》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
红豆生南国，春来发几枝。
愿君多采撷，此物最相思。
`,
	`[32m《闺怨》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
闺中少妇不知愁，春日凝妆上翠楼。
忽见陌头杨柳色，悔教夫婿觅封侯。
`,
	`[32m《蜀相》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
丞相祠堂何处寻，锦官城外柏森森。
映阶碧草自春色，隔叶黄鹂空好音。
三顾频烦天下计，两朝开济老臣心。
出师未捷身先死，长使英雄泪满襟。
`,
	`[32m《游子吟》[m
[33m作者：孟郊[m
慈母手中线，游子身上衣。
临行密密缝，意恐迟迟归。
谁言寸草心，报得三春晖。
`,
	`[32m题目:《剑门道中遇微雨》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
衣上征尘杂酒痕，远游无处不消魂。
此身合是诗人未？细雨骑驴入剑门。
`,
	`[32m《回乡偶书》[m
[33m作者：贺知章[m
少小离家老大回，乡音无改鬓毛催。
儿童相见不相识，笑问客从何处来。
`,
	`[32m《赠内人》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
禁门宫树月痕过，媚眼惟看宿鹭巢。
斜拔玉钗灯影畔，剔开红焰救飞蛾。
`,
	`[32m《梦李白・其二》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
浮云终日行，游子久不至。
三夜频梦君，情亲见君意。
告归常局促，苦道来不易。
江湖多风波，舟楫恐失坠。
出门搔白首，若负平生志。
冠盖满京华，斯人独憔悴。
孰云网恢恢，将老身反累。
千秋万岁名，寂寞身后事。
`,
	`[32m《送李端》[m
[33m作者：卢伦[m
故关衰草遍，离别正堪悲。
路出寒云外，人归暮雪时。
少孤为客早，多难识君迟。
掩泣空相向，风尘何所期。
`,
	`[32m《赠别・其二》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
多情却似总无情，唯觉尊前笑不成。
蜡烛有心还惜别，替人垂泪到天明。
`,
	`[32m题目:《戏答元珍》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
春风疑不到天涯，二月山城未见花。
残雪压枝犹有桔，冻雷惊笋欲抽芽。
夜闻归雁生乡思，病入新年感物华。
曾是洛阳花下客，野芳虽晚不须嗟。
`,
	`[32m《贾生》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
宣室求贤访逐臣，贾生才调更无伦。
可怜夜半虚前席，不问苍生问鬼神。
`,
	`[32m《长安遇冯著》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
客从东方来，衣上灞陵雨。
问客何为来，采山因买斧。
冥冥花正开、扬扬燕新乳。
昨别今已春，鬓丝生几缕。
`,
	`[32m题目:《和子由渑池怀旧》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
人生到处知何似，应似飞鸿踏雪泥：
泥上偶然留指爪，鸿飞那复计东西。
老僧已死成新塔，坏壁无由见旧题。
往日崎岖还记否，路上人困蹇驴嘶。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其三》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
名花倾国两相欢，常得君王带笑看。
解释春风无限恨，沉香亭北倚栏杆。
`,
	`[32m《隋宫》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
乘兴南游不戒严，九重谁省谏书函。
春风举国裁宫锦，半作障泥半作帆。
`,
	`[32m《夜雨寄北》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
君问归期未有期，巴山夜雨涨秋池。
何当共剪西窗烛，却话巴山夜雨时。
`,
	`[32m《八阵图》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
功盖三分国，名成八阵图。
江流石不转，遣恨失吞吴。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其二》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
一枝红艳露凝香，云雨巫山枉断肠。
借问汉宫谁得似，可怜飞燕倚新妆。
`,
	`[32m《春词》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
新妆宜面下朱楼，深锁春光一院愁。
行到中庭数花朵，蜻蜓飞上玉搔头。
`,
	`[32m《送友人》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
`,
	`[32m题目:《四时田园杂兴》（选一）[m
[33m作者:范成大（１１２６－１１９３）[m
昼出耘田夜绩麻，村庄儿女各当家。
童孙未解供耕织，也傍桑阴学种瓜。
`,
	`[32m《蜀相》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
丞相祠堂何处寻，锦官城外柏森森。
映阶碧草自春色，隔叶黄鹂空好音。
三顾频烦天下计，两朝开济老臣心。
出师未捷身先死，长使英雄泪满襟。
`,
	`[32m《早发白帝城》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
朝辞白帝彩云间，千里江陵一日还。
两岸猿声啼不住，轻舟已过万重山。
`,
	`[32m《登高》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
风急天高猿啸哀，渚清沙白鸟飞回。
无边落木萧萧下，不尽长江滚滚来。
万里悲秋常作客，百年多病独登台。
艰难苦恨繁霜鬓，潦倒新停浊酒杯。
`,
	`[32m《春宿左省》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
花隐掖垣暮，啾啾栖鸟过。
星临万户动，月傍九霄多。
不寝听金钥，因风想玉珂。
明朝有封事，数问夜如何？
`,
	`[32m《送友人》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
`,
	`[32m《落花》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
高阁客竟去，小园花乱飞。
参差连曲陌，迢递送斜晖。
肠断未忍扫，眼穿仍欲归。
芳心向春尽，所得是沾衣。
`,
	`[32m《无题・其一》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
凤尾香罗薄几重，碧文圆顶夜深缝。
扇裁月魄羞难掩，车走雷声语未通。
曾是寂寥金烬暗，断无消息石榴红。
斑骓只系垂杨岸，何处西南任好风。
`,
	`[32m《马嵬坡》[m
[33m作者：郑畋[m
玄宗回马杨妃死，云雨难忘日月新。
终是圣明天子事，景阳宫井又何人。
`,
	`[32m题目:《横塘》[m
[33m作者:范成大（１１２６－１１９３）[m
南浦春来绿一川，石桥朱塔两依然。
年年送客横塘路，细雨垂杨系画船。
`,
	`[32m《寻西山隐者不遇》[m
[33m作者：邱为[m
绝顶一茅茨，直上三十里。
叩关无僮仆，窥室惟案几。
若非巾柴车，应是钓秋水。
差池不相见，黾勉空仰止。
草色新雨中，松声晚窗里。
及兹契幽绝，自足荡心耳。
虽无宾主意，颇得清净理。
兴尽方下山，何必待之子。
`,
	`[32m《旅夜书怀》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
细草微风岸，危樯独夜舟。
星垂平野阔，月涌大江流。
名岂文章著，官应老病休，
飘飘何所似，天地一沙鸥。
`,
	`[32m《渭川田家》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
斜光照墟落，穷巷牛羊归。
野老念牧童，倚杖候荆扉。
雉[句隹]麦苗秀，蚕眠桑叶稀。
田夫荷锄至，相见语依依。
即此羡闲逸，怅然吟式微。
`,
	`[32m《破山寺后禅院》[m
[33m作者：常建[m
清晨入古寺，初日照高林。
曲径通幽处，禅房花木深。
山光悦鸟性，潭影空人心。
万籁此俱寂，惟闻钟磬音。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其一》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
云想衣裳花想容，春风拂槛露华浓。
若非群玉山头见，会向瑶台月下逢。
`,
	`[32m《长干行・其二》[m
[33m作者：崔颢[m
家临九江水，来去九江侧。
同是长干人，生小不相识。
`,
	`[32m《渭川田家》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
斜光照墟落，穷巷牛羊归。
野老念牧童，倚杖候荆扉。
雉[句隹]麦苗秀，蚕眠桑叶稀。
田夫荷锄至，相见语依依。
即此羡闲逸，怅然吟式微。
`,
	`[32m题目:《王充道送水仙花五十支》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
凌波仙子生尘袜，水上轻盈步微月。
是谁招此断肠魂，种作寒花寄愁绝。
含香体素欲倾城，山矾是弟梅是兄。
坐对真成被花恼，出门一笑大江横。
`,
	`[32m《秋夕》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
银烛秋光冷画屏，轻罗小扇扑流萤。
天阶夜色凉如水，坐看牵牛织女星。
`,
	`[32m《送崔九》[m
[33m作者：裴迪[m
归山深浅去，须尽丘壑美。
莫学武陵人，暂游桃源里。
`,
	`[32m《九月九日忆山东兄弟》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲。
遥知兄弟登高处，遍插茱萸少一人。
`,
	`[32m题目:《明妃曲》二首[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m

            其一

明妃初出汉宫时，泪湿春风鬓脚垂。
低徊顾影无颜色，尚得君王不自持。
归来却怪丹青手，入眼平生几曾有；
意态由来画不成，当时枉杀毛延寿。
一去心知更不归，可怜着尽汉宫衣；
寄声欲问塞南事，只有年年鸿雁飞。
家人万里传消息，好在毡城莫相忆；
君不见咫尺长门闭阿娇，人生失意无南北。


            其二

明妃初嫁与胡儿，毡车百辆皆胡姬。
含情欲语独无处，传与琵琶心自知。
黄金杆拨春风手，弹看飞鸿劝胡酒。
汉宫侍女暗垂泪，沙上行人却回首。
汉恩自浅胡恩深，人生乐在相知心。
可怜青冢已芜没，尚有哀弦留至今。
`,
	`[32m《筹笔驿》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
猿鸟犹疑畏简书，风云常为护储胥。
徒令上将挥神笔，终见降王走传车。
管乐有才原不忝，关张无命欲何如。
他年锦里经祠庙，梁父吟成恨有余。
`,
	`[32m《赋得暮雨送李胄》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
楚江微雨里，建业暮钟时。
漠漠帆来重，冥冥鸟去迟。
海门深不见，浦树远含滋。
相送情无限，沾襟比散丝。
`,
	`[32m《辋川闲居赠裴秀才迪》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
寒山转苍翠，秋水日潺ꆼ。
倚杖柴门外，临风听暮蝉。
渡头余落日，墟里上孤烟。
复值接舆醉，狂歌五柳前。
`,
	`[32m《送杜少府之任蜀州》[m
[33m作者：王勃[m
城阙辅三秦，风烟望五津。
与君离别意，同是宦游人。
海内存知己，天涯若比邻。
无为在岐路，儿女共沾巾。
`,
	`[32m《梦李白・其二》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
浮云终日行，游子久不至。
三夜频梦君，情亲见君意。
告归常局促，苦道来不易。
江湖多风波，舟楫恐失坠。
出门搔白首，若负平生志。
冠盖满京华，斯人独憔悴。
孰云网恢恢，将老身反累。
千秋万岁名，寂寞身后事。
`,
	`[32m《章台夜思》[m
[33m作者：韦庄[m
清瑟怨遥夜，绕弦风雨哀。
孤灯闻楚角，残月下章台。
芳草已云暮，故人殊未来。
乡书不可寄，秋雁又南回。
`,
	`[32m《哀江头》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
少陵野老吞声哭，春日潜行曲江曲。
江头宫殿锁千门，细柳新蒲为谁绿。
忆昔霓旌下南苑，苑中景物生颜色。
昭阳殿里第一人，同辇随君侍君侧。
辇前才人带弓箭，白马嚼啮黄金勒。
翻身向天仰射云，一箭正坠双飞翼。
明眸皓齿今何在，血污游魂归不得，
清渭东流剑阁深，去住彼此无消息。
人生有情泪沾臆，江水江花岂终极。
黄昏胡骑尘满城，欲往城南望城北。
`,
	`[32m《夜雨寄北》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
君问归期未有期，巴山夜雨涨秋池。
何当共剪西窗烛，却话巴山夜雨时。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其二》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
饮马渡秋水，水寒风似刀。
平沙日未没，黯黯见临洮。
昔日长城战，咸言意气高。
黄尘足今古，白骨乱蓬蒿。
`,
	`[32m《琴歌》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
主人有酒欢今夕，请奏鸣琴广陵客。
月照城头乌半飞，霜凄万树风入衣。
铜炉华烛烛增辉，初弹渌水后楚妃。
一声已动物皆静，四座无言星欲稀。
清淮奉使千余里，敢告云山从此始。
`,
	`[32m《送李端》[m
[33m作者：卢伦[m
故关衰草遍，离别正堪悲。
路出寒云外，人归暮雪时。
少孤为客早，多难识君迟。
掩泣空相向，风尘何所期。
`,
	`[32m《杂诗》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
君自故乡来，应知故乡事。
来日绮窗前，寒梅著花未。
`,
	`[32m《逢入京使》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
故园东望路漫漫，双袖龙钟泪不干。
马上相逢无纸笔，凭君传语报平安。
`,
	`[32m《渡汉江》[m
[33m作者：李频[m
岭外音书绝，经冬复立春。
近乡情更怯，不敢问来人。
`,
	`[32m《金缕衣》[m
[33m作者：杜秋娘[m
劝君莫惜金缕衣，劝君惜取少年时。
花开堪折直须折，莫待无花空折枝。
`,
	`[32m《渭川田家》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
斜光照墟落，穷巷牛羊归。
野老念牧童，倚杖候荆扉。
雉[句隹]麦苗秀，蚕眠桑叶稀。
田夫荷锄至，相见语依依。
即此羡闲逸，怅然吟式微。
`,
	`[32m《长干行・其二》[m
[33m作者：崔颢[m
家临九江水，来去九江侧。
同是长干人，生小不相识。
`,
	`[32m《春宫怨》[m
[33m作者：杜荀鹤[m
早被婵娟误，欲归临镜慵。
承恩不在貌，教妾若为容。
风暖鸟声碎，日高花影重。
年年越溪女，相忆采芙蓉。
`,
	`[32m《贫女》[m
[33m作者：秦韬玉[m
蓬门未识绮罗香，拟托良媒益自伤。
谁爱风流高格调，共怜时世俭梳妆。
敢将十指夸针巧，不把双眉斗画长。
苦恨年年压金线，为他人作嫁衣裳。
`,
	`[32m《庐山谣寄卢侍御虚舟》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
我本楚狂人，凤歌笑孔丘。
手持绿玉杖，朝别黄鹤楼。
五岳寻仙不辞远，一生好入名山游。
庐山秀出南斗傍，屏风九叠云锦张，
影落明湖青黛光，金阙前开二峰长，
银河倒挂三石梁，香炉瀑布遥相望，
回崖沓嶂凌苍苍。
翠影红霞映朝日，鸟飞不到吴天长。
登高壮观天地间，大江茫茫去不还。
黄云万里动风色，白波九道流雪山。
好为庐山谣，兴因庐山发。
闲窥石镜清我心，谢公行处苍苔没。
早服还丹无世情，琴心三叠道初成。
遥见仙人彩云里，手把芙蓉朝玉京。
先期汗漫九垓上，愿接卢敖游太清。
`,
	`[32m题目:《初入淮河》（选一）[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m

船离洪泽岸头沙，人到淮河意不佳。
何必桑乾方是远，中流以北即天涯！
`,
	`[32m《赠孟浩然》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
吾爱孟夫子，风流天下闻。
红颜弃轩冕，白首卧松云。
醉月频中圣，迷花不事君。
高山安可仰，徒此揖清芬。
`,
	`[32m《观公孙大娘弟子舞剑器行・并序》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
大历二年十月十九日，夔府别驾元持宅，见临颍李十二娘
舞剑器，壮其蔚ꆼ，问其所师，曰：“余公孙大娘弟子也。”
开元三载，余尚童稚，记于郾城观公孙氏，舞剑器浑脱，
浏漓顿挫，独出冠时，自高头宜春梨园二伎坊内人洎外供奉，
晓是舞者，圣文神武皇帝初，公孙一人而已。
玉貌锦衣，况余白首，今兹弟子，亦非盛颜。
既辨其由来，知波澜莫二，抚事慷慨，聊为《剑器行》。
昔者吴人张旭，善草书帖，数常于邺县见公孙大娘
舞西河剑器，自此草书长进，豪荡感激，即公孙可知矣。
����
昔有佳人公孙氏，一舞剑器动四方。
观者如山色沮丧，天地为之久低昂。
霍如羿射九日落，矫如群帝骖龙翔。
来如雷霆收震怒，罢如江海凝清光。
绛唇珠袖两寂寞，晚有弟子传芬芳。
临颍美人在白帝，妙舞此曲神扬扬。
与余问答既有以，感时抚事增惋伤。
先帝侍女八千人，公孙剑器初第一。
五十年间似反掌，风尘鸿洞昏王室。
梨园子弟散如烟，女乐余姿映寒日。
金粟堆前木已拱，瞿塘石城草萧瑟。
玳ꆼ急管曲复终，乐极哀来月东出。
老夫不知其所往，足茧荒山转愁疾。
`,
	`[32m《白雪歌送武判官归京》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
北风卷地白草折，胡天八月即飞雪。
忽如一夜春风来，千树万树梨花开。
散入珠帘湿罗幕，狐裘不暖锦衾薄。
将军角弓不得控，都护铁衣冷犹著。
瀚海阑干百丈冰，愁云惨淡万里凝。
中军置酒饮归客，胡琴琵琶与羌笛。
纷纷暮雪下辕门，风掣红旗冻不翻。
轮台东门送君去，去时雪满天山路。
山回路转不见君，雪上空留马行处。
`,
	`[32m《何满子》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
故国三千里，深宫二十年。
一声何满子，双泪落君前。
`,
	`[32m《寻隐者不遇》[m
[33m作者：贾岛[m
松下问童子，言师采药去。
只在此山中，云深不知处。
`,
	`[32m题目:《登飞来峰》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
飞来峰上千寻塔，闻说鸡鸣见日升。
不畏浮云遮望眼，只缘身在最高层。
`,
	`[32m《别房太尉墓》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
他乡复行役，驻马别孤坟。
近泪无干土，低空有断云。
对棋陪谢傅，把剑觅徐君。
唯见林花落，莺啼送客闻。
`,
	`[32m《送友人》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
`,
	`[32m《阙题》[m
[33m作者：刘脊虚[m
道由白云尽，春与清溪长。
时有落花至，远随流水香。
闲门向山路，深柳读书堂。
幽映每白日，清辉照衣裳。
`,
	`[32m《望蓟门》[m
[33m作者：祖咏[m
燕台一去客心惊，笳鼓喧喧汉将营。
万里寒光生积雪，三边曙色动危旌，
沙场烽火侵胡月，海畔云山拥蓟城。
少小虽非投笔吏，论功还欲请长缨。
`,
	`[32m《次北固山下》[m
[33m作者：王湾[m
客路青山下，行舟绿水前。
潮平两岸阔，风正一帆悬。
海日生残夜，江春入旧年。
乡书何处达，归雁洛阳边。
`,
	`[32m题目:《咏柳》[m
[33m作者:曾巩（１０１９－１０８３）[m
乱条犹未变初黄，倚得东风势便狂。
解把飞花蒙日月，不知天地有清霜。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其三》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
名花倾国两相欢，常得君王带笑看。
解释春风无限恨，沉香亭北倚栏杆。
`,
	`[32m《题大庾岭北驿》[m
[33m作者：宋之问[m
阳月南飞雁，传闻至此回。
我行殊未已，何日复归来。
江静潮初落，林昏瘴不开，
明朝望乡处，应见陇头梅。
`,
	`[32m题目:《剑门道中遇微雨》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
衣上征尘杂酒痕，远游无处不消魂。
此身合是诗人未？细雨骑驴入剑门。
`,
	`[32m题目:《元日》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
爆竹声中一岁除，春风送暖入屠苏。
千门万户曈曈日，总把新桃换旧符。
`,
	`[32m《晨诣超师院读禅经》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
汲井漱寒齿，清心拂尘服。
闲持贝叶书，步出东斋读。
真源了无取，妄迹世所逐。
遗言冀可冥，缮性何由熟。
道人庭宇静，苔色连深竹。
日出雾露余，青松如膏沐。
澹然离言说，悟悦心自足。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日》[m
[33m作者:程颢（１０３２－１０８５）[m
云淡风轻近午天，傍花随柳过前川。
时人不识余心乐，将谓偷闲学少年。
`,
	`[32m《灞上秋居》[m
[33m作者：马戴[m
灞原风雨定，晚见雁行频。
落叶他乡树，寒灯独夜人。
空园白露滴，孤壁野僧邻。
寄卧郊扉久，何年致此身。
`,
	`[32m《渭川田家》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
斜光照墟落，穷巷牛羊归。
野老念牧童，倚杖候荆扉。
雉[句隹]麦苗秀，蚕眠桑叶稀。
田夫荷锄至，相见语依依。
即此羡闲逸，怅然吟式微。
`,
	`[32m《宫词》[m
[33m作者：朱庆余[m
寂寂花时闭院门，美人相并立琼轩。
含情欲说宫中事，鹦鹉前头不敢言。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其二》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
林暗草惊风，将军夜引弓。
平明寻白羽，没在石棱中。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其四》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
野幕蔽琼筵，羌戎贺劳旋。
醉和金甲舞。雷鼓动山川。
`,
	`[32m题目:《牧童诗》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
骑牛远远过前村，短笛横吹隔陇闻。
多少长安名利客，机关用尽不如君。
`,
	`[32m《西塞山怀古》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
王浚楼船下益州，金陵王气黯然收。
千寻铁锁沉江底，一片降幡出石头。
人世几回伤往事，山形依旧枕寒流。
从今四海为家日，故垒萧萧芦荻秋。
`,
	`[32m《在狱咏蝉・并序》[m
[33m作者：骆宾王[m
余禁所禁垣西，是法厅事也，有古槐数株焉。
虽生意可知，同殷仲文之古树；而听讼斯在，即周召伯之甘棠，
每至夕照低阴，秋蝉疏引，发声幽息，有切尝闻，岂人心异于曩时，将虫响悲于前听？
嗟乎，声以动容，德以象贤。
故洁其身也，禀君子达人之高行；
蜕其皮也，有仙都羽化之灵姿。
候时而来，顺阴阳之数；
应节为变，审藏用之机。
有目斯开，不以道昏而昧其视；
有翼自薄，不以俗厚而易其真。
吟乔树之微风，韵姿天纵；
饮高秋之坠露，清畏人知。
仆失路艰虞，遭时徽ꆼ。
不哀伤而自怨，未摇落而先衰。
闻蟪蛄之流声，悟平反之已奏；
见螳螂之抱影，怯危机之未安。
感而缀诗，贻诸知己。
庶情沿物应，哀弱羽之飘零；
道寄人知，悯余声之寂寞。
非谓文墨，取代幽忧云尔。
���
西陆蝉声唱，南冠客思深。
不堪玄鬓影，来对白头吟。
露重飞难进，风多响易沉。
无人信高洁，谁为表予心。
`,
	`[32m《谷口书斋寄杨补阙》[m
[33m作者：钱起[m
泉壑带茅茨，云霞生薜帷。
竹怜新雨后，山爱夕阳时。
闲鹭栖常早，秋花落更迟。
家僮扫罗径，昨与故人期。
`,
	`[32m题目:《元日》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
爆竹声中一岁除，春风送暖入屠苏。
千门万户曈曈日，总把新桃换旧符。
`,
	`[32m《赠别・其二》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
多情却似总无情，唯觉尊前笑不成。
蜡烛有心还惜别，替人垂泪到天明。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春怀示邻里》[m
[33m作者:陈师道（１０５３－１１０１）[m
断墙着雨蜗成字，老屋无僧燕作家，
剩欲出门追语笑，却嫌归鬓著尘沙。
风翻蛛网开三面，雷动蜂窠趁两衙。
屡失南邻春事约，只今容有未开花。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其三》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
月黑雁飞高，单于夜遁逃。
欲将轻骑逐，大雪满弓刀。
`,
	`[32m《赠别・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
娉娉袅袅十三余，豆蔻梢头二月初。
春风十里扬州路，卷上珠帘总不如。
`,
	`[32m题目:《画眉鸟》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
百啭千声随意移，山花红紫树高低。
始知锁向金笼听，不及林间自在啼。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其一》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
鹫翎金仆姑，燕尾绣蝥弧。
独立扬新令，千营共一呼。
`,
	`[32m《秋日赴阙题潼关驿楼》[m
[33m作者：许浑[m
红叶晚萧萧，长亭酒一瓢。
残云归太华，疏雨过中条。
树色随关迥，河声入海遥。
帝乡明日到，犹自梦渔樵。
`,
	`[32m《草》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
离离原上草，一岁一枯荣。
野火烧不尽，春风吹又生。
远芳侵古道，晴翠接荒城。
又送王孙去，萋萋满别情。
`,
	`[32m《哥舒歌》[m
[33m作者：西鄙人[m
北斗七星高，哥舒夜带刀。
至今窥牧马，不敢过临洮。
`,
	`[32m《哀王孙》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
长安城头头白乌，夜飞延秋门上呼。
又向人家啄大屋，屋底达官走避胡。
金鞭断折九马死，骨肉不待同驰驱。
腰下宝ꆼ青珊瑚，可怜王孙泣路隅。
问之不肯道姓名，但道困苦乞为奴。
已经百日窜荆棘，身上无有完肌肤。
高帝子孙尽隆准，龙种自与常人殊。
豺狼在邑龙在野，王孙善保千金躯。
不敢长语临交衢，且为王孙立斯须。
昨夜东风吹血腥，东来橐驼满旧都。
朔方健儿好身手，昔何勇锐今何愚。
窃闻天子已传位，圣德北服南单于。
花门ꆼ面请雪耻，慎勿出口他人狙。
哀哉王孙慎勿疏，五陵佳气无时无。
`,
	`[32m《送魏万之京》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
朝闻游子唱骊歌，昨夜微霜初度河。
鸿雁不堪愁里听，云山况是客中过。
关城曙色催寒近，御苑砧声向晚多。
莫是长安行乐处，空令岁月易蹉跎。
`,
	`[32m《蜀道难》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
噫吁ꆼ，危呼高哉！
蜀道之难难于上青天。
蚕丛及鱼凫，开国何茫然。
尔来四万八千岁，始与秦塞通人烟。
西当太白有鸟道，可以横绝峨嵋巅。
地崩山摧壮士死，然后天梯石栈相钩连。
上有六龙回日之高标，下有冲波逆折之回川。
黄鹤之飞尚不得，猿猱欲度愁攀缘。
青泥何盘盘，百步九折萦岩峦。
扪参历井仰胁息，以手抚膺坐长叹。
问君西游何时还，畏途ꆼ岩不可攀。
但见悲鸟号古木，雄飞雌从绕林间。
又闻子规啼夜月，愁空山。
蜀道之难难于上青天，使人听此凋朱颜。
连峰去天不盈尺，枯松倒挂倚绝壁。
飞湍瀑流争喧ꆼ，石冰崖转石万壑雷。
其险也若此，嗟尔远道之人，胡为呼来哉。
剑阁峥嵘而崔嵬，一夫当关，万夫莫开。
所守或匪亲，化为狼与豺。
朝避猛虎，夕避长蛇。
磨牙吮血，杀人如麻。
锦城虽云乐，不如早还家。
蜀道之难难于上青天，侧身西望长咨嗟。
`,
	`[32m《哀王孙》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
长安城头头白乌，夜飞延秋门上呼。
又向人家啄大屋，屋底达官走避胡。
金鞭断折九马死，骨肉不待同驰驱。
腰下宝ꆼ青珊瑚，可怜王孙泣路隅。
问之不肯道姓名，但道困苦乞为奴。
已经百日窜荆棘，身上无有完肌肤。
高帝子孙尽隆准，龙种自与常人殊。
豺狼在邑龙在野，王孙善保千金躯。
不敢长语临交衢，且为王孙立斯须。
昨夜东风吹血腥，东来橐驼满旧都。
朔方健儿好身手，昔何勇锐今何愚。
窃闻天子已传位，圣德北服南单于。
花门ꆼ面请雪耻，慎勿出口他人狙。
哀哉王孙慎勿疏，五陵佳气无时无。
`,
	`[32m《自夏口至鹦鹉洲夕望岳阳寄源中丞》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
汀洲无浪复无烟，楚客相思益渺然。
汉口夕阳斜渡鸟，洞庭秋水远连天。
孤城背岭寒吹角，独树临江夜泊船。
贾谊上书忧汉室，长沙谪去古今怜。
`,
	`[32m《江南曲》[m
[33m作者：李益[m
嫁得瞿塘贾，朝朝误妾期。
早知潮有信，嫁与弄潮儿。
`,
	`[32m题目:《明妃曲和王介甫作》其二[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
汉宫有佳人，天子初未识，
一朝随汉使，远嫁单于国。
绝色天下无，一失难再得，
虽能杀画工，于事竟何益？
耳目所及尚如此，万里安能制夷狄！
汉计诚已拙，女色难自夸。
明妃去时泪，洒向枝上花；
狂风日暮起，飘泊落谁家。
红颜胜人多薄命，莫怨春风当自嗟。
`,
	`[32m《东郊》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
吏舍局终年，出郊旷清曙。
杨柳散和风，青山澹吾虑。
依丛适自憩，缘涧还复去。
微雨霭芳原，春鸠鸣何处。
乐幽心屡止，遵事迹犹遽。
终罢斯结庐，慕陶真可庶。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其三》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
名花倾国两相欢，常得君王带笑看。
解释春风无限恨，沉香亭北倚栏杆。
`,
	`[32m《终南别业》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
中岁颇好道，晚家南山陲。
兴来每独往，胜事空自知。
行到水穷处，坐看云起时。
偶然值林叟，谈笑无还期。
`,
	`[32m《奉和圣制从蓬莱向兴庆阁道中留春雨中春望之作应制》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
渭水自萦秦塞曲，黄山旧绕汉宫斜。
銮舆迥出千门柳，阁道回看上苑花。
云里帝城双凤阙，雨中春树万人家。
为乘阳气行时令，不是宸游玩物华。
`,
	`[32m《春宫曲》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
昨夜风开露井桃，未央前殿月轮高。
平阳歌舞新承宠，帘外春寒赐锦袍。
`,
	`[32m《送李端》[m
[33m作者：卢伦[m
故关衰草遍，离别正堪悲。
路出寒云外，人归暮雪时。
少孤为客早，多难识君迟。
掩泣空相向，风尘何所期。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其一》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
鹫翎金仆姑，燕尾绣蝥弧。
独立扬新令，千营共一呼。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其三》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
月黑雁飞高，单于夜遁逃。
欲将轻骑逐，大雪满弓刀。
`,
	`[32m《春宫怨》[m
[33m作者：杜荀鹤[m
早被婵娟误，欲归临镜慵。
承恩不在貌，教妾若为容。
风暖鸟声碎，日高花影重。
年年越溪女，相忆采芙蓉。
`,
	`[32m《蜀先主庙》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
天地英雄气，千秋尚凛然。
势分三足鼎，业复五铢钱。
得相能开国，生儿不象贤。
凄凉蜀故妓，来舞魏宫前。
`,
	`[32m《列女操》[m
[33m作者：孟郊[m
梧桐相待老，鸳鸯会双死。
贞妇贵殉夫，舍生亦如此。
波澜誓不起，妾心井中水。
`,
	`[32m《贫女》[m
[33m作者：秦韬玉[m
蓬门未识绮罗香，拟托良媒益自伤。
谁爱风流高格调，共怜时世俭梳妆。
敢将十指夸针巧，不把双眉斗画长。
苦恨年年压金线，为他人作嫁衣裳。
`,
	`[32m《夜雨寄北》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
君问归期未有期，巴山夜雨涨秋池。
何当共剪西窗烛，却话巴山夜雨时。
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其二》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
昔日戏言身后事，今朝都到眼前来。
衣裳已施行看尽，针线犹存未忍开。
尚想旧情怜婢仆，也曾因梦送钱财。
诚知此恨人人有，贫贱夫妻百事哀。
`,
	`[32m题目:《城南感怀呈永叔》[m
[33m作者:苏舜钦（１００８－１０４８）[m
春阳泛野动，春阴与天低。
远林气蔼蔼，长道风依依。
览物虽暂适，感怀翻然移。
所见既可骇，所闻良可悲。
去年水后旱，田亩不及犁。
冬温晚得雪，宿麦生者稀。
前去固无望，即日已苦饥。
老稚满田野，斫掘寻凫茈。
此物近亦尽，卷耳共所资。
昔云能驱风，充腹理不疑；
今乃有毒厉，肠胃生疮痍。
十月七八死，当路横其尸。
犬彘咋其骨，乌鸢啄其皮。
胡为残良民，令此鸟兽肥？
天岂意如此？泱荡莫可知！
高位厌梁肉，坐论搀云霓。
岂无富人术，使之长熙熙？
我今饥伶俜，悯此复自思：
自济既不暇，将复奈尔为！
愁愤徒满胸，嵘［山＋“宏”去宀］不能齐。
`,
	`[32m《杂诗》[m
[33m作者：沈ꆼ期[m
闻道黄龙戌，频年不解兵。
可怜闺里月，长在汉家营。
少妇今春意，良人昨夜情。
谁能将旗鼓，一为取龙城。
`,
	`[32m题目:《城南感怀呈永叔》[m
[33m作者:苏舜钦（１００８－１０４８）[m
春阳泛野动，春阴与天低。
远林气蔼蔼，长道风依依。
览物虽暂适，感怀翻然移。
所见既可骇，所闻良可悲。
去年水后旱，田亩不及犁。
冬温晚得雪，宿麦生者稀。
前去固无望，即日已苦饥。
老稚满田野，斫掘寻凫茈。
此物近亦尽，卷耳共所资。
昔云能驱风，充腹理不疑；
今乃有毒厉，肠胃生疮痍。
十月七八死，当路横其尸。
犬彘咋其骨，乌鸢啄其皮。
胡为残良民，令此鸟兽肥？
天岂意如此？泱荡莫可知！
高位厌梁肉，坐论搀云霓。
岂无富人术，使之长熙熙？
我今饥伶俜，悯此复自思：
自济既不暇，将复奈尔为！
愁愤徒满胸，嵘［山＋“宏”去宀］不能齐。
`,
	`[32m《贫女》[m
[33m作者：秦韬玉[m
蓬门未识绮罗香，拟托良媒益自伤。
谁爱风流高格调，共怜时世俭梳妆。
敢将十指夸针巧，不把双眉斗画长。
苦恨年年压金线，为他人作嫁衣裳。
`,
	`[32m题目:《自嘲》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
少读诗书陋汉唐，莫年身世寄农桑。
骑驴两脚欲到地，爱酒一樽常在旁。
老去形容虽变改，醉来意气尚轩昂。
太行王屋何由动，堪笑愚公不自量。
`,
	`[32m题目:《晚泊岳阳》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
卧闻岳阳城里钟，系舟岳阳城下树。
正见空江明月来，云水苍茫失江路。
夜深江月弄清辉，水上人歌月下归；
一阕声长听不尽，轻舟短楫去如飞。
`,
	`[32m《将赴吴兴登乐游原》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
清时有味是无能，闲爱孤云静爱僧。
欲把一麾江海去，乐游原上望昭陵。
`,
	`[32m题目:《元日》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
爆竹声中一岁除，春风送暖入屠苏。
千门万户曈曈日，总把新桃换旧符。
`,
	`[32m《金陵图》[m
[33m作者：韦庄[m
江雨霏霏江草齐，六朝如梦鸟空啼。
无情最是台城柳，依旧烟笼十里堤。
`,
	`[32m《问刘十九》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
绿蚁新醅酒，红泥小火炉。
晚来天欲雪，能饮一杯无。
`,
	`[32m《寄李儋元锡》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
去年花里逢君别，今日花开又一年。
世事茫茫难自料，春愁黯黯独成眠。
身多疾病思田里，邑有流亡愧俸钱。
闻道欲来相问讯，西楼望月几回圆。
`,
	`[32m《江乡故人偶集客舍》[m
[33m作者：戴叔伦[m
天秋月又满，城阙夜千重。
还作江南会，翻疑梦里逢。
风枝惊暗鹊，露草覆寒虫。
羁旅长堪醉，相留畏晓钟。
`,
	`[32m《古从军行》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
白日登山望烽火，黄昏饮马傍交河。
行人刁斗风沙暗，公主琵琶幽怨多。
野营万里无城郭，雨雪纷纷连大漠。
胡雁哀鸣夜夜飞，胡儿眼泪双双落。
闻道玉门犹被遮，应将性命逐轻车。
年年战骨埋荒外，空见葡萄入汉家。
`,
	`[32m《古从军行》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
白日登山望烽火，黄昏饮马傍交河。
行人刁斗风沙暗，公主琵琶幽怨多。
野营万里无城郭，雨雪纷纷连大漠。
胡雁哀鸣夜夜飞，胡儿眼泪双双落。
闻道玉门犹被遮，应将性命逐轻车。
年年战骨埋荒外，空见葡萄入汉家。
`,
	`[32m《归嵩山作》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
清川带长薄，车马去闲闲。
流水如有意，暮禽相与还。
荒城临古渡，落日满秋山。
迢递嵩高下，归来且闭关。
`,
	`[32m题目:《无题》[m
[33m作者:杨亿（９６４－１０２０）[m
巫阳归梦融千峰，辟恶香消翠被浓。
桂魄渐亏愁晓月，蕉心不展怨春风。
遥山黯黯眉长敛，一水盈盈语未通。
漫托［昆鸟］弦传恨意，云鬟日夕似飞蓬。
`,
	`[32m《书边事》[m
[33m作者：张乔[m
调角断清秋，征人倚戌楼。
春风对青冢，白日落梁州。
大漠无兵阻，穷边有客游。
蕃情似此水，长愿向南流。
`,
	`[32m题目:《夜登白帝城怀少陵先生》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
拾遗白发有谁怜？零落歌诗遍两川。
人立飞楼今已矣，浪翻孤月尚依然。
升沈自古无穷事，愚智同归有限年。
此意凄凉谁共语？岸沙君看去年痕。
`,
	`[32m题目:《夏日怀友》[m
[33m作者:徐玑（１１６２－１２１４）[m
流水阶除静，孤眠得自由。
月生林欲晓，雨过夜如秋。
远忆荷花浦，谁吟杜若洲？
良宵恐无梦，有梦即俱游。
`,
	`[32m《送陈章甫》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
四月南风大麦黄，枣花未落桐叶长。
青山朝别暮还见，嘶马出门思旧乡。
陈侯立身何坦荡，虬须虎眉仍大颡。
腹中贮书一万卷，不肯低头在草莽。
东门沽酒饮我曹，心轻万事皆鸿毛。
醉卧不知白日暮，有时空望孤云高。
长河浪头连天黑，津口停舟渡不得。
郑国游人未及家，洛阳行子空叹息。
闻道故林相识多，罢官昨日今如何。
`,
	`[32m《渔翁》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
渔翁夜傍西岩宿，晓汲清湘燃楚竹。
烟销日出不见人，ꆼ乃一声山水绿。
回看天际下中流，岩上无心云相逐。
`,
	`[32m《春泛若耶溪》[m
[33m作者：綦毋潜[m
幽意无断绝，此去随所偶。
晚风吹行舟，花路入溪口。
际夜转西壑，隔山望南斗。
潭烟飞溶溶，林月低向后。
生事且弥漫，愿为持竿叟。
`,
	`[32m题目:《书愤》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
早岁那知世事艰，中垢北望气如山。
楼船夜雪瓜洲渡，铁马秋风大散关。
塞上长城空自许，镜中衰鬓已先斑。
出师一表真名世，千载谁堪伯仲间。
`,
	`[32m《郡斋雨中与诸文士燕集》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
兵卫森画戟，燕寝凝清香。
海上风雨至，逍遥池阁凉。
烦疴近消散，嘉宾复满堂。
自惭居处崇，未睹斯民康。
理会是非遣，性达形迹忘。
鲜肥属时禁，蔬果幸见尝。
俯饮一杯酒，仰聆金玉章。
神欢体自轻，意欲凌风翔。
吴中盛文史，群彦今汪洋。
方知大藩地，岂曰财赋强。
`,
	`[32m《隋宫》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
乘兴南游不戒严，九重谁省谏书函。
春风举国裁宫锦，半作障泥半作帆。
`,
	`[32m《利州南渡》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
澹然空水对斜晖。曲岛苍茫接翠微。
波上马嘶看棹去，柳边人歇待船归。
数丛沙草群鸥散，万顷江田一鹭飞。
谁解乘舟寻范蠡，五湖烟水独忘机。
`,
	`[32m题目:《活水亭观书有感》[m
[33m作者:朱熹（１１３０－１２００）[m
半亩方塘一鉴开，天光云影共徘徊。
问渠那得清如许，为有源头活水来。
`,
	`[32m《寄李儋元锡》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
去年花里逢君别，今日花开又一年。
世事茫茫难自料，春愁黯黯独成眠。
身多疾病思田里，邑有流亡愧俸钱。
闻道欲来相问讯，西楼望月几回圆。
`,
	`[32m《寄全椒山中道士》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
今朝郡斋冷，忽念山中客。
涧底束荆薪，归来煮白石。
欲恃一瓢酒，远慰风雨夕。
落叶满空山，何处寻行迹。
`,
	`[32m题目:《明妃曲》二首[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m

            其一

明妃初出汉宫时，泪湿春风鬓脚垂。
低徊顾影无颜色，尚得君王不自持。
归来却怪丹青手，入眼平生几曾有；
意态由来画不成，当时枉杀毛延寿。
一去心知更不归，可怜着尽汉宫衣；
寄声欲问塞南事，只有年年鸿雁飞。
家人万里传消息，好在毡城莫相忆；
君不见咫尺长门闭阿娇，人生失意无南北。


            其二

明妃初嫁与胡儿，毡车百辆皆胡姬。
含情欲语独无处，传与琵琶心自知。
黄金杆拨春风手，弹看飞鸿劝胡酒。
汉宫侍女暗垂泪，沙上行人却回首。
汉恩自浅胡恩深，人生乐在相知心。
可怜青冢已芜没，尚有哀弦留至今。
`,
	`[32m《春宿左省》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
花隐掖垣暮，啾啾栖鸟过。
星临万户动，月傍九霄多。
不寝听金钥，因风想玉珂。
明朝有封事，数问夜如何？
`,
	`[32m《送陈章甫》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
四月南风大麦黄，枣花未落桐叶长。
青山朝别暮还见，嘶马出门思旧乡。
陈侯立身何坦荡，虬须虎眉仍大颡。
腹中贮书一万卷，不肯低头在草莽。
东门沽酒饮我曹，心轻万事皆鸿毛。
醉卧不知白日暮，有时空望孤云高。
长河浪头连天黑，津口停舟渡不得。
郑国游人未及家，洛阳行子空叹息。
闻道故林相识多，罢官昨日今如何。
`,
	`[32m《秦中感秋寄远上人》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
一丘常欲卧，三径苦无资。
北土非吾愿，东林怀我师。
黄金燃桂尽，壮志逐年衰。
日夕凉风至，闻蝉但益悲。
`,
	`[32m《黄鹤楼》[m
[33m作者：崔颢[m
昔人已乘黄鹤去，此地空余黄鹤楼。
黄鹤一去不复返，白云千载空悠悠。
晴川历历汉阳树，芳草萋萋鹦鹉洲。
日暮乡关何处是，烟波江上使人愁。
`,
	`[32m《古意呈补阙乔知之》[m
[33m作者：沈全期[m
卢家少妇郁金堂，海燕双栖玳瑁梁。
九月寒砧催木叶，十年征戍忆辽阳。
白浪河北音书断，丹凤城南秋夜长。
谁为含愁独不见，更教明月照流黄。
`,
	`[32m《韩碑》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
元和天子神武姿，彼何人哉轩与羲。
誓将上雪列圣耻，坐法宫中朝四夷。
淮西有贼五十载，封狼生[豸区][豸区]生罴。
不据山河据平地，长戈利矛日可麾。
帝得圣相相曰度，贼斫不死神扶持。
腰悬相印作都统，阴风惨澹天王旗。
ꆼ武古通作牙爪，仪曹外郎载笔随。
行军司马智且勇，十四万众犹虎貔。
入蔡缚贼献太庙，功无与让恩不訾。
帝曰汝度功第一，汝从事愈宜为辞。
愈拜稽首蹈且舞：金石刻画臣能为。
古者世称大手笔，此事不系于职司。
当仁自古有不让，言讫屡颔天子颐。
公退斋戒坐小阁，濡染大笔何淋漓，
点窜尧典舜典字，涂改清庙生民诗，
文成破体书在纸，清晨再拜铺丹墀，
表曰臣愈昧死上，咏神圣功书之碑，
碑高三丈字如斗，负以灵鳌蟠以螭。
句奇语重喻者少，谗之天子言其私。
长绳百尺拽碑倒，粗砂大石相磨治。
公子斯文若元气，先时已入人肝脾。
汤盘孔鼎有述作，今无其器存其辞。
呜呼圣王及圣相，相与ꆼ赫流淳熙。
公之斯文不示后，曷与三五相攀追。
愿书万本颂万过，口角流沫右手胝。
传之七十有二代，以为封禅玉检明堂基。
`,
	`[32m《寻南溪常山道人隐居》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
一路经行处，莓苔见屐痕。
白云依静渚，芳草闭闲门。
过雨看松色，随山到水源。
溪花与禅意，相对亦忘言。
`,
	`[32m《将进酒》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
君不见，黄河之水天上来，奔流到海不复回。
君不见，高堂明镜悲白发，朝如青丝暮成雪。
人生得意须尽欢，莫使金樽空对月。
天生我材必有用，千金散尽还复来。
烹羊宰牛且为乐，会须一饮三百杯。
岑夫子，丹丘生，将进酒，君莫停。
与君歌一曲，请君为我侧耳听。
钟鼓馔玉不足贵，但愿长醉不愿醒。
古来圣贤皆寂寞，惟有饮者留其名。
陈王昔时宴平乐，斗酒十千恣欢谑。
主人何为言少钱，径须沽取对君酌。
五花马，千金裘，呼儿将出换美酒，
与尔同销万古愁。
`,
	`[32m题目:《惠崇春江晚景》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
竹外桃花三两枝，春江水暖鸭先知。
萎蒿满地芦芽短，正是河豚欲上时。
`,
	`[32m《感遇・其二》[m
[33m作者：张九龄[m
江南有丹桔，经冬犹绿林。
岂伊地气暖，自有岁寒心。
可以荐佳客，奈何阻重深。
运命唯所遇，循环不可寻。
徒言树桃李，此木岂无阴。
`,
	`[32m《和晋陵陆丞相早春游望》[m
[33m作者：杜审言[m
独有宦游人，偏惊物候新。
云霞出海曙，梅柳渡江春。
淑气催黄鸟，晴光转绿苹。
忽闻歌古调，归思欲沾襟。
`,
	`[32m题目:《孤山寺瑞上人房写望》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
底处凭栏思眇然，孤山塔后阁西偏。
阴沉画轴林间寺，零落棋枰葑上田。
秋景有时飞独鸟，夕阳无事起寒烟。
迟留更爱吾庐近，只待春来看雪天。
`,
	`[32m《马嵬坡》[m
[33m作者：郑畋[m
玄宗回马杨妃死，云雨难忘日月新。
终是圣明天子事，景阳宫井又何人。
`,
	`[32m题目:《石苍舒醉墨堂》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
人生识字忧患始，姓名粗记可以休。
何用草书夸神速，开卷［忄党］恍令人愁。
我尝好之每自笑，君有此病何能瘳！
自言其中有至乐，适意无异逍遥游。
`,
	`[32m《金陵酒肆留别》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
风吹柳花满店香，吴姬压酒唤客尝。
金陵子弟来相送，欲行不行各尽觞。
请君试问东流水，别意与之谁短长。
`,
	`[32m《金缕衣》[m
[33m作者：杜秋娘[m
劝君莫惜金缕衣，劝君惜取少年时。
花开堪折直须折，莫待无花空折枝。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春日即事》[m
[33m作者:吕本中（１０８４－１１４５）[m
病起多情白日迟，强来庭下探花期。
雪消池馆初春后，人倚栏杆欲暮时。
乱蝶狂蜂俱有意，兔葵燕麦自无知。
池边垂柳腰支活，折尽长条为寄谁？
`,
	`[32m题目:《棋》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
莫将戏事扰真情，且可随缘道我赢。
战罢两奁分白黑，一枰何处有亏成。
`,
	`[32m《月夜》[m
[33m作者：刘方平[m
更深月色半人家，北斗阑干南斗斜。
今夜偏知春气暖，虫声新透绿窗纱。
`,
	`[32m《宫词》[m
[33m作者：顾况[m
玉楼天半起笙歌，风送宫嫔笑语和。
月殿影开闻夜漏，水晶帘卷近秋河。
`,
	`[32m《过香积寺》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
不知香积寺，数里入云峰。
古木无人径，深山何处钟。
泉声咽危石，日色冷青松。
薄暮空潭曲，安禅制毒龙。
`,
	`[32m题目:《画眉鸟》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
百啭千声随意移，山花红紫树高低。
始知锁向金笼听，不及林间自在啼。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其一》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
蝉鸣空桑林，八月萧关道。
出塞复入塞，处处黄芦草。
从来幽并客，皆向沙场老。
莫学游侠儿，矜夸紫骝好。
`,
	`[32m题目:《金错刀行》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
黄金错刀白玉装，夜穿窗扉出光芒。
丈夫五十功未立，提刀独立顾八荒。
京华结交尽奇士，意气相期共生死。
千年史册耻无名，一片丹心报天子。
尔来从军天汉滨，南山晓雪玉嶙峋。
呜呼！楚虽三户能亡秦，岂有堂堂中国空无人！
`,
	`[32m《送李少府贬峡中王少府贬长沙》[m
[33m作者：高适[m
嗟君此别意如何，驻马衔杯问谪居。
巫峡啼猿数行泪，衡阳归雁几封书。
青枫江上秋帆远，白帝城边古木疏。
圣代即今多雨露，暂时分手莫踌躇。
`,
	`[32m《寻南溪常山道人隐居》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
一路经行处，莓苔见屐痕。
白云依静渚，芳草闭闲门。
过雨看松色，随山到水源。
溪花与禅意，相对亦忘言。
`,
	`[32m《江南逢李龟年》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
岐王宅里寻常见，崔九堂前几度闻。
正是江南好风景，落花时节又逢君。
`,
	`[32m《长恨歌》[m
[33m作者：白居易[m
汉皇重色思倾国，御宇多年求不得。
杨家有女初长成，养在深闺人未识。
天生丽质难自弃，一朝选在君王侧。
回眸一笑百媚生，六宫粉黛无颜色。
春寒赐浴华清池，温泉水滑洗凝脂。
侍儿扶起娇无力，始是新承恩泽时。
云鬓花颜金步摇，芙蓉帐暖度春宵。
春宵苦短日高起，从此君王不早朝。
承欢侍宴无闲暇，春从春游夜专夜。
后宫佳丽三千人，三千宠爱在一身。
金屋妆成娇侍夜，玉楼宴罢醉和春。
姊妹弟兄皆列土，可怜光彩生门户。
遂令天下父母心，不重生男重生女。
骊宫高处入青云，仙乐风飘处处闻。
缓歌谩舞凝丝竹，尽日君王看不足。
渔阳鼙鼓动地来，惊破霓裳羽衣曲。
九重城阙烟尘生，千乘万骑西南行。
翠华摇摇行复止，西出都门百余里。
六军不发无奈何，宛转蛾眉马前死。
花钿委地无人收，翠翘金雀玉搔头。
君王掩面救不得，回看血泪相和流。
黄埃散漫风萧索，云栈萦纡登剑阁。
峨嵋山下少人行，旌旗无光日色薄。
蜀江水碧蜀山青，圣主朝朝暮暮情。
行宫见月伤心色，夜雨闻铃肠断声。
天旋地转回龙驭，到此踌躇不能去。
马嵬坡下泥土中，不见玉颜空死处。
君臣相顾尽沾衣，东望都门信马归。
归来池苑皆依旧，太液芙蓉未央柳。
芙蓉如面柳如眉，对此如何不泪垂。
春风桃李花开日，秋雨梧桐叶落时。
西宫南内多秋草，落叶满阶红不扫。
梨园弟子白发新，椒房阿监青娥老。
夕殿萤飞思悄然，孤灯挑尽未成眠。
迟迟钟鼓初长夜，耿耿星河欲曙天。
鸳鸯瓦冷霜华重，翡翠衾寒谁与共。
悠悠生死别经年，魂魄不曾来入梦。
临邛道士鸿都客，能以精诚致魂魄。
为感君王辗转思，遂教方士殷勤觅。
排空驭气奔如电，升天入地求之遍。
上穷碧落下黄泉，两处茫茫皆不见。
忽闻海上有仙山，山在虚无缥渺间。
楼阁玲珑五云起，其中绰约多仙子。
中有一人字太真，雪肤花貌参差是。
金阙西厢叩玉扃，转教小玉报双成。
闻道汉家天子使，九华帐里梦魂惊。
揽衣推枕起徘徊，珠箔银屏迤逦开。
云鬓半偏新睡觉，花冠不整下堂来。
风吹仙袂飘飘举，犹似霓裳羽衣舞。
玉容寂寞泪阑干，梨花一枝春带雨。
含情凝睇谢君王，一别音容两渺茫。
昭阳殿里恩爱绝，蓬莱宫中日月长。
回头下望人寰处，不见长安见尘雾。
惟将旧物表深情，钿合金钗寄将去。
钗留一股合一扇，钗擘黄金合分钿。
但教心似金钿坚，天上人间会相见。
临别殷勤重寄词，词中有誓两心知。
七月七日长生殿，夜半无人私语时。
在天愿作比翼鸟，在地愿为连理枝。
天长地久有时尽，此恨绵绵无绝期。
`,
	`[32m《渔翁》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
渔翁夜傍西岩宿，晓汲清湘燃楚竹。
烟销日出不见人，ꆼ乃一声山水绿。
回看天际下中流，岩上无心云相逐。
`,
	`[32m《寄左省杜拾遗》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
联步趋丹陛，分曹限紫微。
晓随天仗入，暮惹御香归。
白发悲花落，青云羡鸟飞。
圣朝无阙事，自觉谏书稀。
`,
	`[32m《溪居》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
久为簪组累，幸此南夷谪。
闲依农圃邻，偶似山林客。
晓耕翻露草，夜榜响溪石。
来往不逢人，长歌楚天碧。
`,
	`[32m《咏怀古迹・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
支离东北风尘际，飘泊西南天地间。
三峡楼台淹日月，五溪衣服共云山。
羯胡事主终无赖，词客哀时且未还。
庾信平生最萧瑟，暮年诗赋动江关。
`,
	`[32m《寻陆鸿渐不遇》[m
[33m作者：僧皎然[m
移家虽带郭，野径入桑麻。
近种篱边菊，秋来未著花。
扣门无犬吠，欲去问西家。
报道山中去，归来每日斜。
`,
	`[32m《奉济驿重送严公四韵》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
远送从此别，青山空复情。
几时杯重把，昨夜月同行。
列郡讴歌惜，三朝出入荣。
江村独归处，寂寞养残生。
`,
	`[32m题目:《画眉鸟》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
百啭千声随意移，山花红紫树高低。
始知锁向金笼听，不及林间自在啼。
`,
	`[32m《利州南渡》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
澹然空水对斜晖。曲岛苍茫接翠微。
波上马嘶看棹去，柳边人歇待船归。
数丛沙草群鸥散，万顷江田一鹭飞。
谁解乘舟寻范蠡，五湖烟水独忘机。
`,
	`[32m《赠孟浩然》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
吾爱孟夫子，风流天下闻。
红颜弃轩冕，白首卧松云。
醉月频中圣，迷花不事君。
高山安可仰，徒此揖清芬。
`,
	`[32m《秋日赴阙题潼关驿楼》[m
[33m作者：许浑[m
红叶晚萧萧，长亭酒一瓢。
残云归太华，疏雨过中条。
树色随关迥，河声入海遥。
帝乡明日到，犹自梦渔樵。
`,
	`[32m《将赴吴兴登乐游原》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
清时有味是无能，闲爱孤云静爱僧。
欲把一麾江海去，乐游原上望昭陵。
`,
	`[32m题目:《和子由踏青》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
春风陌上惊微尘，游人初乐岁华新。
人闲正好路旁饮，麦短未怕游车轮。
城中居人厌城郭，喧阗晓出空四邻。
歌鼓惊山草木动，箪瓢散野乌鸢驯。
何人聚众称道人，遮道卖符色怒嗔。
宜蚕使汝茧如瓮，宜畜使汝羊如□［鹿下菌字去草头］。
路人未必信此语，强为买符禳新春。
道人得钱径沽酒，醉倒自谓吾符神。
`,
	`[32m《金陵酒肆留别》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
风吹柳花满店香，吴姬压酒唤客尝。
金陵子弟来相送，欲行不行各尽觞。
请君试问东流水，别意与之谁短长。
`,
	`[32m《过故人庄》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
故人具鸡黍，邀我至田家。
绿树村边合，青山郭外斜。
开轩面场圃，把酒话桑麻。
待到重阳日，还来就菊花。
`,
	`[32m《凉思》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
客去波平槛，蝉休露满枝。
永怀当此节，倚立自移时。
北斗兼春远，南陵寓使迟。
天涯占梦数，疑误有新知。
`,
	`[32m题目:《腊日游孤山访惠勤惠思二僧》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
天欲雪，云满湖，楼台明灭山有无。
水清出石鱼可数，林深无人鸟相呼。
腊日不归对妻孥，名寻道人实自娱。
道人之居在何许？宝云山前路盘纡。
孤山孤绝谁肯庐？道人有道山不孤。
纸窗竹屋深自暖，拥褐坐睡依团蒲。
天寒路远愁仆夫，整驾催归及未晡。
出山回望云木合，但见野鹘盘浮图。
兹游淡薄欢有余，到家恍如梦蘧蘧。
作诗火急追亡逋，清景一失后难摹。
`,
	`[32m《登幽州台歌》[m
[33m作者：陈子昂[m
前不见古人，后不见来者。
念天地之悠悠，独怆然而泪下。
`,
	`[32m《至德二载,甫自京金光门出,间道归凤翔,乾元初从左拾遗移华州掾,与亲故别,因出此门,有悲往事》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
此道昔归顺，西郊胡正繁。
至今残破胆，应有未招魂。
近得归京邑，移官岂至尊。
无才日衰老，驻马望千门。
`,
	`[32m《喜见外弟卢纶见宿》[m
[33m作者：司空曙[m
静夜四无邻，荒居旧业贫。
雨中黄叶树，灯下白头人。
以我独沉久，愧君相见频。
平生自有分，况是霍家亲。
`,
	`[32m《梦游天姥吟留别》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
海客谈瀛洲，烟涛微茫信难求。
越人语天姥，云霓明灭或可睹。
天姥连天向天横，势拔五岳掩赤城。
天台四万八千丈，对此欲倒东南倾。
我欲因之梦吴越，一夜飞度镜湖月。
湖月照我影，送我至剡溪。
谢公宿处今尚在，绿水荡漾清猿啼，
脚著谢公屐，身登青云梯。
半壁见海日，空中闻天鸡。
千岩万转路不定，迷花倚石忽已暝。
熊咆龙吟殷岩泉，ꆼ深林兮惊层巅。
云青青兮欲雨，水澹澹兮生烟。
列缺霹雳，丘峦崩摧。
洞天石扇，訇然中开。
青冥浩荡不见底，日月照耀金银台。
霓为衣兮风为马，云之君兮纷纷而来下。
虎鼓瑟兮鸾回车，仙之人兮列如麻。
忽魂悸以魄动，恍惊起而长嗟。
惟觉时之枕席，失向来之烟霞。
世间行乐亦如此，古来万事东流水。
别君去兮何时还？
且放白鹿青崖间，须行即骑访名山。
安能摧眉折腰事权贵，使我不得开心颜！
`,
	`[32m《咏怀古迹・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
支离东北风尘际，飘泊西南天地间。
三峡楼台淹日月，五溪衣服共云山。
羯胡事主终无赖，词客哀时且未还。
庾信平生最萧瑟，暮年诗赋动江关。
`,
	`[32m《章台夜思》[m
[33m作者：韦庄[m
清瑟怨遥夜，绕弦风雨哀。
孤灯闻楚角，残月下章台。
芳草已云暮，故人殊未来。
乡书不可寄，秋雁又南回。
`,
	`[32m《月下独酌》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
花间一壶酒，独酌无相亲。
举杯邀明月，对影成三人。
月既不解饮，影徒随我身。
暂伴月将影，行乐须及春。
我歌月徘徊，我舞影零乱。
醒时同交欢，醉后各分散。
永结无情游，相期邈云汉。
`,
	`[32m《赠卫八处士》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
人生不相见，动如参与商。
今夕复何夕，共此灯烛光。
少壮能几时，鬓发各已苍。
访旧半为鬼，惊呼热中肠。
焉知二十载，重上君子堂。
昔别君未婚，儿女忽成行。
怡然敬父执，问我来何方。
问答乃未已，驱儿罗酒浆。
夜雨剪春韭，新炊间黄粱。
主称会面难，一举累十觞。
十觞亦不醉，感子故意长。
明日隔山岳，世事两茫茫。
`,
	`[32m题目:《无题》[m
[33m作者:杨亿（９６４－１０２０）[m
巫阳归梦融千峰，辟恶香消翠被浓。
桂魄渐亏愁晓月，蕉心不展怨春风。
遥山黯黯眉长敛，一水盈盈语未通。
漫托［昆鸟］弦传恨意，云鬟日夕似飞蓬。
`,
	`[32m《送杨氏女》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
永日方戚戚，出行复悠悠。
女子今有行，大江溯轻舟。
尔辈苦无恃，抚念益慈柔。
幼为长所育，两别泣不休。
对此结中肠，义往难复留。
自小阙内训，事姑贻我忧。
赖兹托令门，任恤庶无尤。
贫俭诚所尚，资从岂待周。
孝恭遵妇道，容止顺其猷。
别离在今晨，见尔当何秋。
居闲始自遣，临感忽难收。
归来视幼女，零泪缘缨流。
`,
	`[32m《出塞》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
秦时明月汉时关，万里长征人未还。
但使龙城飞将在，不教胡马渡阴山。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春晴怀故园海棠》[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m
竹边台榭水边亭，不要人随只独行。
乍暖柳条无气力，淡晴花影不分明。
一番过雨来幽径，无数新禽有喜声。
只欠翠纱红映肉，两年寒食负先生。
`,
	`[32m题目:《题西林壁》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
横看成岭侧成峰，远近高低各不同。
不识庐山真面目，只缘身在此山中。
`,
	`[32m题目:《题西林壁》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
横看成岭侧成峰，远近高低各不同。
不识庐山真面目，只缘身在此山中。
`,
	`[32m《积雨辋川庄作》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
积雨空林烟火迟，蒸藜炊黍饷东ꆼ。
漠漠水田飞白鹭，阴阴夏木啭黄鹂。
山中习静观朝槿，松下清斋折露葵。
野老与人争席罢，海鸥何事更相疑。
`,
	`[32m题目:《泪》[m
[33m作者:杨亿（９６４－１０２０）[m
锦字梭停掩夜机，白头吟若怨新知。
谁闻陇水回肠后，更听巴猿拭袂时。
汉殿微凉金屋闭，魏宫清晓玉壶欹。
多情不待悲秋气，只是伤春鬓已丝。
`,
	`[32m《月下独酌》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
花间一壶酒，独酌无相亲。
举杯邀明月，对影成三人。
月既不解饮，影徒随我身。
暂伴月将影，行乐须及春。
我歌月徘徊，我舞影零乱。
醒时同交欢，醉后各分散。
永结无情游，相期邈云汉。
`,
	`[32m《酬程延秋夜即事见赠》[m
[33m作者：韩ꆼ[m
长簟迎风早，空城澹月华。
星河秋一雁，砧杵夜千家。
节候看应晚，心期卧已赊。
向来吟秀句，不觉已鸣鸦。
`,
	`[32m《送李少府贬峡中王少府贬长沙》[m
[33m作者：高适[m
嗟君此别意如何，驻马衔杯问谪居。
巫峡啼猿数行泪，衡阳归雁几封书。
青枫江上秋帆远，白帝城边古木疏。
圣代即今多雨露，暂时分手莫踌躇。
`,
	`[32m《阁夜》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
岁暮阴阳催短景，天涯霜雪霁寒宵。
五更鼓角声悲壮，三峡星河影动摇。
野哭几家闻战伐，夷歌数处起渔樵。
卧龙跃马终黄土，人事音书漫寂寥。
`,
	`[32m《竹里馆》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
独坐幽篁里，弹琴复长啸。
深林人不知，明月来相照。
`,
	`[32m《寻陆鸿渐不遇》[m
[33m作者：僧皎然[m
移家虽带郭，野径入桑麻。
近种篱边菊，秋来未著花。
扣门无犬吠，欲去问西家。
报道山中去，归来每日斜。
`,
	`[32m《寄左省杜拾遗》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
联步趋丹陛，分曹限紫微。
晓随天仗入，暮惹御香归。
白发悲花落，青云羡鸟飞。
圣朝无阙事，自觉谏书稀。
`,
	`[32m《瑶池》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
瑶池阿母绮窗开，黄竹歌声动地哀。
八骏日行三万里，穆王何事不重来。
`,
	`[32m《送友人》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
青山横北郭，白水绕东城。
此地一为别，孤蓬万里征。
浮云游子意，落日故人情。
挥手自兹去，萧萧班马鸣。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寓居吴兴》[m
[33m作者:曾几（１０８４－１１６６）[m
相对真成泣楚囚，遂无末策到神州。
但知绕树如飞鹊，不解营巢似拙鸠。
江北江南犹断绝，秋风秋雨敢淹留？
低回又作荆州梦，落日孤云始欲愁。
`,
	`[32m题目:《落花》[m
[33m作者:宋祁（９９８－１０６２）[m
坠素翻红各自伤，青楼烟雨忍相忘。
将飞更作回风舞，已落犹成半面妆。
沧海客归珠有泪，章台人去骨遗香。
可能无意传双蝶，尽付芳心与蜜房。
`,
	`[32m《江州重别薛六柳八二员外》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
生涯岂料承优诏，世事空知学醉歌。
江上月明胡雁过，淮南木落楚山多。
寄身且喜沧洲近，顾影无如白发何。
今日龙钟人共老，愧君犹遣慎风波。
`,
	`[32m题目:《二砺》（选一）[m
[33m作者:郑思肖（１２４１－１３１８）[m
愁里高歌梁公吟，犹如金玉戛商音。
十年勾践亡吴计，七日包胥哭楚心。
秋送新鸿哀破国，昼行饥虎啮空林。
胸中有誓深于海，肯使神州竞陆沉？

`,
	`[32m《饯别王十一南游》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
望君烟水阔，浑手泪沾巾。
飞鸟没何处，青山空向人。
长江一帆远，落日五湖春。
谁见汀洲上，相思愁白苹。
`,
	`[32m《渔翁》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
渔翁夜傍西岩宿，晓汲清湘燃楚竹。
烟销日出不见人，ꆼ乃一声山水绿。
回看天际下中流，岩上无心云相逐。
`,
	`[32m《隋宫》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
紫泉宫殿锁烟霞，欲取芜城作帝家。
玉玺不缘归日角，锦帆应是到天涯。
于今腐草无萤火，终古垂杨有暮鸦。
地下若逢陈后主，岂宜重问后庭花。
`,
	`[32m《古柏行》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
孔明庙前有老柏，柯如青铜根如石。
霜皮溜雨四十围，黛色参天二千尺。
君臣已与时际会，树木犹为人爱惜。
云来气接巫峡长，月出寒通雪山白。
忆昨路绕锦亭东，先主武侯同ꆼ宫。
崔嵬枝干郊原古，窈窕丹青户牖空。
落落盘踞虽得地，冥冥孤高多烈风。
扶持自是神明力，正直原因造化功。
大厦如倾要梁栋，万年回首丘山重。
不露文章世已惊，未辞剪伐谁能送。
苦心岂免容蝼蚁，香叶终经宿鸾凤。
志士幽人草怨嗟，古来材大难为用。
`,
	`[32m《送别》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
下马饮君酒，问君何所之。
君言不得意，归卧南山陲。
但去莫复问，白云无尽时。
`,
	`[32m《登乐游原》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
向晚意不适，驱车登古原。
夕阳无限好，只是近黄昏。
`,
	`[32m《蜀道难》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
噫吁ꆼ，危呼高哉！
蜀道之难难于上青天。
蚕丛及鱼凫，开国何茫然。
尔来四万八千岁，始与秦塞通人烟。
西当太白有鸟道，可以横绝峨嵋巅。
地崩山摧壮士死，然后天梯石栈相钩连。
上有六龙回日之高标，下有冲波逆折之回川。
黄鹤之飞尚不得，猿猱欲度愁攀缘。
青泥何盘盘，百步九折萦岩峦。
扪参历井仰胁息，以手抚膺坐长叹。
问君西游何时还，畏途ꆼ岩不可攀。
但见悲鸟号古木，雄飞雌从绕林间。
又闻子规啼夜月，愁空山。
蜀道之难难于上青天，使人听此凋朱颜。
连峰去天不盈尺，枯松倒挂倚绝壁。
飞湍瀑流争喧ꆼ，石冰崖转石万壑雷。
其险也若此，嗟尔远道之人，胡为呼来哉。
剑阁峥嵘而崔嵬，一夫当关，万夫莫开。
所守或匪亲，化为狼与豺。
朝避猛虎，夕避长蛇。
磨牙吮血，杀人如麻。
锦城虽云乐，不如早还家。
蜀道之难难于上青天，侧身西望长咨嗟。
`,
	`[32m《兵车行》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
车辚辚，马萧萧，行人弓箭各在腰，
爷娘妻子走相送，尘埃不见咸阳桥。
牵衣顿足拦道哭，哭声直上干云霄。
道旁过者问行人，行人但云点行频。
或从十五北防河，便至四十西营田。
去时里正与裹头，归来头白还戍边。
边亭流血成海水，武皇开边意未已。
君不闻，汉家山东二百州，千村万落生荆杞。
纵有健妇把锄犁，禾生陇亩无东西。
况复秦兵耐苦战，被驱不异犬与鸡。
长者虽有问，役夫敢申恨？
且如今年冬，未休关西卒。
县官急索租，租税从何出。
信知生男恶，反是生女好。
生女犹得嫁比邻，生男埋没随百草。
君不见，青海头，古来白骨无人收。
新鬼烦冤旧鬼哭，天阴雨湿声啾啾。
`,
	`[32m《同题仙游观》[m
[33m作者：韩ꆼ[m
仙台初见五城楼，风物凄凄宿雨收。
山色遥连秦树晚，砧声近报汉宫秋。
疏松影落空坛静，细草香闲小洞幽。
何用别寻方外去，人间亦自有丹丘。
`,
	`[32m《寒食》[m
[33m作者：韩翎[m
春城无处不飞花，寒食东风御柳斜。
日暮汉宫传蜡烛，轻烟散入五侯家。
`,
	`[32m《登金陵凤凰台》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
凤凰台上凤凰游，凤去台空江自流。
吴宫花草埋幽径，晋代衣冠成古丘。
三山半落青天外，二水中分白鹭洲。
总为浮云能蔽日，长安不见使人愁。
`,
	`[32m《行宫》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
寥落古行宫，宫花寂寞红。
白头宫女在，闲坐说玄宗。
`,
	`[32m《宿业师山房待丁大不至》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
夕阳度西岭，群壑倏已暝。
松月生夜凉，风泉满清听。
樵人归尽欲，烟鸟栖初定。
之子期宿来，孤琴候萝径。
`,
	`[32m《与高适薛据登慈恩寺浮图》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
塔势如涌出，孤高耸天宫。
登临出世界，蹬道盘虚空。
突兀压神州，峥嵘如鬼工。
四角碍白日，七层摩苍穹。
下窥指高鸟，俯听闻惊风。
连山若波涛，奔凑如朝东。
青槐夹驰道，宫馆何玲珑。
秋色从西来，苍然满关中。
五陵北原上，万古青蒙蒙。
净理了可悟，胜因夙所宗。
誓将挂冠去，觉道资无穷。
`,
	`[32m题目:《惠崇春江晚景》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
竹外桃花三两枝，春江水暖鸭先知。
萎蒿满地芦芽短，正是河豚欲上时。
`,
	`[32m《锦瑟》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
锦瑟无端五十弦，一弦一柱思华年。
庄生晓梦迷蝴蝶，望帝春心托杜鹃。
沧海月明珠有泪，蓝田日暖玉生烟。
此情可待成追忆，只是当时已惘然。
`,
	`[32m题目:《宿甘露寺僧舍》[m
[33m作者:曾公亮（９９８－１０７８）[m
枕中云气千峰近，床底松声万壑哀。
要看银山拍天浪，开窗放入大江来。
`,
	`[32m题目:《村行》[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m
马穿山径菊初黄，信马悠悠野兴长。
万壑有声含晚籁，数峰无语立斜阳。
棠梨叶落胭脂色，荞麦花开白雪香。
何事吟余忽惆怅，村桥原树似吾乡。
`,
	`[32m《渔翁》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
渔翁夜傍西岩宿，晓汲清湘燃楚竹。
烟销日出不见人，ꆼ乃一声山水绿。
回看天际下中流，岩上无心云相逐。
`,
	`[32m《送李端》[m
[33m作者：卢伦[m
故关衰草遍，离别正堪悲。
路出寒云外，人归暮雪时。
少孤为客早，多难识君迟。
掩泣空相向，风尘何所期。
`,
	`[32m题目:《暮步至江上》[m
[33m作者:吕本中（１０８４－１１４５）[m
客事久输鹦鹉杯，春愁如接凤凰台。
树阴不碍帆影过，雨气却随潮信来。
山似故人堪对饮，花如遗恨不重开。
雪篱风榭年年事，辜负风光取次回。
`,
	`[32m《宣州谢ꆼ楼饯别校书叔云》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
弃我去者，昨日之日不可留。
乱我心者，今日之日多烦忧。
长风万里送秋雁，对此可以酣高楼。
蓬莱文章建安骨，中间小谢又清发。
俱怀逸兴壮思飞，欲上青天览日月。
抽刀断水水更流，举杯消愁愁更愁。
人生在世不称意，明朝散发弄扁舟。
`,
	`[32m《嫦娥》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
云母屏风烛影深，长河渐落晓星沉。
嫦娥应悔偷灵药，碧海青天夜夜心。
`,
	`[32m《春宫怨》[m
[33m作者：杜荀鹤[m
早被婵娟误，欲归临镜慵。
承恩不在貌，教妾若为容。
风暖鸟声碎，日高花影重。
年年越溪女，相忆采芙蓉。
`,
	`[32m《赠卫八处士》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
人生不相见，动如参与商。
今夕复何夕，共此灯烛光。
少壮能几时，鬓发各已苍。
访旧半为鬼，惊呼热中肠。
焉知二十载，重上君子堂。
昔别君未婚，儿女忽成行。
怡然敬父执，问我来何方。
问答乃未已，驱儿罗酒浆。
夜雨剪春韭，新炊间黄粱。
主称会面难，一举累十觞。
十觞亦不醉，感子故意长。
明日隔山岳，世事两茫茫。
`,
	`[32m《送崔九》[m
[33m作者：裴迪[m
归山深浅去，须尽丘壑美。
莫学武陵人，暂游桃源里。
`,
	`[32m题目:《孤山寺瑞上人房写望》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
底处凭栏思眇然，孤山塔后阁西偏。
阴沉画轴林间寺，零落棋枰葑上田。
秋景有时飞独鸟，夕阳无事起寒烟。
迟留更爱吾庐近，只待春来看雪天。
`,
	`[32m《九月登望仙台呈刘明府容》[m
[33m作者：崔曙[m
汉文皇帝有高台，此日登临曙色开。
三晋云山皆北向，二陵风雨自东来。
关门令尹谁能识，河上仙翁去不回。
且欲近寻彭泽宰，陶然共醉菊花杯。
`,
	`[32m《送人东游》[m
[33m作者：温庭筠[m
荒戌落黄叶，浩然离故关。
高风汉阳渡，初日郢门山。
江上几人在，天涯孤棹还。
何当重相见，樽酒慰离颜。
`,
	`[32m题目:《塞上》[m
[33m作者:柳开（９４６－９９９）[m
鸣［骨交］直上一千尺，天静无风声更干。
碧眼胡儿三百骑，尽提金勒向云看。
`,
	`[32m《赤壁》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
折戟沉沙铁未销，自将磨洗认前朝。
东风不与周郎便，铜雀春深锁二乔。
`,
	`[32m《送孟浩然之广陵》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
故人西辞黄鹤楼，烟花三月下扬州。
孤帆远影碧空尽，惟见长江天际流。
`,
	`[32m《与高适薛据登慈恩寺浮图》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
塔势如涌出，孤高耸天宫。
登临出世界，蹬道盘虚空。
突兀压神州，峥嵘如鬼工。
四角碍白日，七层摩苍穹。
下窥指高鸟，俯听闻惊风。
连山若波涛，奔凑如朝东。
青槐夹驰道，宫馆何玲珑。
秋色从西来，苍然满关中。
五陵北原上，万古青蒙蒙。
净理了可悟，胜因夙所宗。
誓将挂冠去，觉道资无穷。
`,
	`[32m《宫词》[m
[33m作者：薛逢[m
十二楼中尽晓妆，望仙楼上望君王。
锁衔金兽连环冷，水滴铜龙昼漏长。
云髻罢梳还对镜，罗衣欲换更添香。
遥窥正殿帘开处，袍ꆼ宫人扫御床。
`,
	`[32m《子夜秋歌》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
长安一片月，万户捣衣声。
秋风吹不尽，总是玉关情。
何日平胡虏，良人罢远征。
`,
	`[32m《韦讽录事宅观曹将军画马图》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
国初已来画鞍马，神妙独数江都王。
将军得名三十载，人间又见真乘黄。
曾貌先帝照夜白，龙池十日飞霹雳。
内府殷红玛瑙盘，婕妤传诏才人索。
盘赐将军拜舞归，轻纨细绮相追飞。
贵戚权门得笔迹，始觉屏障生光辉。
昔日太宗拳毛ꆼ，近时郭家狮子花。
今之新图有二马，复令识者久叹嗟。
此皆骑战一敌万，缟素漠漠开风沙。
其余七匹亦殊绝，迥若寒空动烟雪。
霜蹄蹴踏长揪间，马官厮养森成列。
可怜九马争神骏，顾视清高气深稳。
借问苦心爱者谁，后有韦讽前支遁。
忆昔巡幸新丰宫，翠华拂天来向东。
腾骧磊落三万匹，皆与此图筋骨同。
自从献宝朝河宗，无复射蛟江水中。
君不见金粟堆前松柏里，龙媒去尽鸟呼风。
`,
	`[32m《春雨》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
怅卧新春白袷衣，白门寥落意多违。
红楼隔雨相望冷，珠箔飘灯独自归。
远路应悲春ꆼ晚，残宵犹得梦依稀。
玉ꆼ缄札何由达，万里云罗一雁飞。
`,
	`[32m《无题・其一》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
来是空言去绝踪，月斜楼上五更钟。
梦为远别啼难唤，书被催成墨未浓。
蜡照半笼金翡翠，麝熏微度绣芙蓉。
刘郎已恨蓬山远，更隔蓬山一万重。
`,
	`[32m《终南山》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
太乙近天都，连山到海隅。
白云回望合，青霭入看无。
分野中峰变，阴晴众壑殊。
欲投人处宿，隔水问樵夫。
`,
	`[32m《塞下曲・其三》[m
[33m作者：卢纶[m
月黑雁飞高，单于夜遁逃。
欲将轻骑逐，大雪满弓刀。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寄黄几复》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
我居北海君南海，寄雁传书谢不能。
桃李春风一杯酒，江湖夜雨十年灯。
持家但有四立壁，治国不蕲三折肱。
想得读书头已白，隔溪猿哭瘴烟滕。
`,
	`[32m题目:《汝坟贫女》[m
[33m作者:梅尧臣（１００２－１０６０）[m
汝坟贫家女，行哭音凄怆。
自言有老父，孤独无丁壮。
郡吏来何暴，官家不敢抗。
督遣勿稽留，龙种去携杖。
勤勤嘱四邻，幸愿相依傍。
适闻闾里归，问讯疑犹强。
果然寒雨中，僵死壤河上。
弱质无以托，横尸无以葬。
生女不如男，虽存何所当。
拊膺呼苍天，生死将奈向。
`,
	`[32m《闺怨》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
闺中少妇不知愁，春日凝妆上翠楼。
忽见陌头杨柳色，悔教夫婿觅封侯。
`,
	`[32m《寄令狐郎中》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
嵩云秦树久离居，双鲤迢迢一纸书。
休问梁园旧宾客，茂陵秋雨病相如。
`,
	`[32m《贫女》[m
[33m作者：秦韬玉[m
蓬门未识绮罗香，拟托良媒益自伤。
谁爱风流高格调，共怜时世俭梳妆。
敢将十指夸针巧，不把双眉斗画长。
苦恨年年压金线，为他人作嫁衣裳。
`,
	`[32m《夏日南亭怀辛大》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
山光忽西落，池月渐东上。
散发乘夕凉，开轩卧闲敞。
荷风送香气，竹露滴清响。
欲取鸣琴弹，恨无知音赏。
感此怀故人，中宵劳梦想。
`,
	`[32m《桃花溪》[m
[33m作者：张旭[m
隐隐飞桥隔野烟，石矾西畔问渔船。
桃花尽日随流水，洞在清溪何处边。
`,
	`[32m《秋登兰山寄张五》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
北山白云里，隐者自怡悦。
相望始登高，心随雁飞灭。
愁因薄暮起，兴是清秋发。
时见归村人，沙行渡头歇。
天边树若荠，江畔洲如月。
何当载酒来，共醉重阳节。
`,
	`[32m《宿王昌龄隐居》[m
[33m作者：常建[m
清溪深不测，隐处惟孤云。
松际露微月，清光犹为君。
茅亭宿花影，药院滋苔纹。
余亦谢时去，西山鸾鹤群。
`,
	`[32m《初发扬子寄元大校书》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
凄凄去亲爱，泛泛入烟雾。
归棹洛阳人，残钟广陵树。
今朝为此别，何处还相遇。
世事波上舟，沿洄安得住。
`,
	`[32m《送杜少府之任蜀州》[m
[33m作者：王勃[m
城阙辅三秦，风烟望五津。
与君离别意，同是宦游人。
海内存知己，天涯若比邻。
无为在岐路，儿女共沾巾。
`,
	`[32m《同题仙游观》[m
[33m作者：韩ꆼ[m
仙台初见五城楼，风物凄凄宿雨收。
山色遥连秦树晚，砧声近报汉宫秋。
疏松影落空坛静，细草香闲小洞幽。
何用别寻方外去，人间亦自有丹丘。
`,
	`[32m题目:《雨中登岳阳楼望君山》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m

            其一

投荒万死鬓毛斑，生入瞿塘滟［氵预］关。
未到江南先一笑，岳阳楼上对君山。

            其二

满川风雨独凭栏，绾结湘娥十二鬟。
可惜不当湖水面，银山堆里看青山。
`,
	`[32m题目:《观棋长吟》[m
[33m作者:邵雍（１０１１－１０７７）[m
院静春深昼掩扉，竹间闲看客争棋。
搜罗神鬼聚胸臆，措臻山河入范围。
局合龙蛇成阵斗，劫残鸿雁破行飞；
杀多项羽坑秦卒，败剧符坚畏晋师。
座上戈铤尝击搏，面前冰炭旋更移；
死生共抵两家事，胜负都由一着时。
当路断无相假借，对人须且强推辞；
腹心受害诚堪惧，唇齿生忧尚可医；
善用中伤为得策，阴行狡狯谓知机。
请观今日长安道，易地何尝不有之？
`,
	`[32m《无题》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
相见时难别亦难，东风无力百花残。
春蚕到死丝方尽，腊炬成灰泪始干。
晓镜但愁云鬓改，夜吟应觉月光寒。
蓬莱此去无多路，青鸟殷勤为探看。
`,
	`[32m《梦李白・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
死别已吞声，生别常恻恻。
江南瘴疠地，逐客无消息。
故人入我梦，明我常相忆。
君今在罗网，何以有羽翼？
恐非平生魂，路远不可测。
魂来枫林青，魂返关塞黑。
落月满屋梁，犹疑照颜色。
水深波浪阔，无使蛟龙得。
`,
	`[32m《春词》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
新妆宜面下朱楼，深锁春光一院愁。
行到中庭数花朵，蜻蜓飞上玉搔头。
`,
	`[32m《贼退示官吏・并序》[m
[33m作者：元结[m
癸卯岁西原贼入道州，焚烧杀掠，几尽而去。
明年，贼又攻永州破邵，不犯此州边鄙而退。
岂力能制敌欤？盖蒙其伤怜而已。
诸使何为忍苦征敛，故作诗一篇以示官吏。
����
昔岁逢太平，山林二十年。
泉源在庭户，洞壑当门前。
井税有常期，日晏犹得眠。
忽然遭世变，数岁亲戎旃。
今来典斯郡，山夷又纷然。
城小贼不屠，人贫伤可怜。
是以陷邻境，此州独见全。
使臣将王命，岂不如贼焉。
令彼征敛者，迫之如火煎。
谁能绝人命，以作时世贤。
思欲委符节，引竿自刺船。
将家就鱼麦，归老江湖边。
`,
	`[32m《哀江头》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
少陵野老吞声哭，春日潜行曲江曲。
江头宫殿锁千门，细柳新蒲为谁绿。
忆昔霓旌下南苑，苑中景物生颜色。
昭阳殿里第一人，同辇随君侍君侧。
辇前才人带弓箭，白马嚼啮黄金勒。
翻身向天仰射云，一箭正坠双飞翼。
明眸皓齿今何在，血污游魂归不得，
清渭东流剑阁深，去住彼此无消息。
人生有情泪沾臆，江水江花岂终极。
黄昏胡骑尘满城，欲往城南望城北。
`,
	`[32m《集灵台・其一》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
日光斜照集灵台，红树花迎晓露开。
昨夜上皇新授ꆼ，太真含笑入帘来。
`,
	`[32m《渔翁》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
渔翁夜傍西岩宿，晓汲清湘燃楚竹。
烟销日出不见人，ꆼ乃一声山水绿。
回看天际下中流，岩上无心云相逐。
`,
	`[32m题目:《和子由渑池怀旧》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
人生到处知何似，应似飞鸿踏雪泥：
泥上偶然留指爪，鸿飞那复计东西。
老僧已死成新塔，坏壁无由见旧题。
往日崎岖还记否，路上人困蹇驴嘶。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寒食》[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m
今年寒食在商山，山里风光亦可怜：
稚子就花拈蛱蝶，人家依树系秋千。
郊原晓绿初经雨，巷陌春阴乍禁烟。
副使官闲莫惆怅，酒钱犹有撰碑钱。
`,
	`[32m《贼平后送人北归》[m
[33m作者：司空曙[m
世乱同南去，时清独北还。
他乡生白发，旧国见青山。
晓月过残垒，繁星宿故关。
寒禽与衰草，处处伴愁颜。
`,
	`[32m《过故人庄》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
故人具鸡黍，邀我至田家。
绿树村边合，青山郭外斜。
开轩面场圃，把酒话桑麻。
待到重阳日，还来就菊花。
`,
	`[32m《西塞山怀古》[m
[33m作者：刘禹锡[m
王浚楼船下益州，金陵王气黯然收。
千寻铁锁沉江底，一片降幡出石头。
人世几回伤往事，山形依旧枕寒流。
从今四海为家日，故垒萧萧芦荻秋。
`,
	`[32m题目:《题西林壁》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
横看成岭侧成峰，远近高低各不同。
不识庐山真面目，只缘身在此山中。
`,
	`[32m《行经华阴》[m
[33m作者：崔颢[m
迢ꆼ太华俯咸京，天外三峰削不成。
武帝祠前云欲散，仙人掌上雨初晴。
河山北枕秦关险，驿路西连汉ꆼ平。
借问路旁名利客，何如此处学长生。
`,
	`[32m《月夜忆舍弟》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
戌鼓断人行，秋边一雁声。
露从今夜白，月是故乡明。
有弟皆分散，无家问死生。
寄书长不达，况乃未休兵。
`,
	`[32m《丹青引赠曹霸将军》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
将军魏武之子孙，于今为庶为清门。
英雄割据虽已矣，文彩风流今尚存。
学书初学卫夫人，但恨无过王右军。
丹青不知老将至，富贵于我如浮云。
开元之中常引见，承恩数上南薰殿。
凌烟功臣少颜色，将军下笔开生面。
良相头上进贤冠，猛将腰间大羽箭。
褒公鄂公毛发动，英姿飒爽犹酣战。
先帝玉马玉花骢，画工如山貌不同。
是日牵来赤墀下，迥立阊阖生长风。
诏谓将军拂绢素，意匠惨淡经营中。
斯须九重真龙出，一洗万古凡马空。
玉花却在御榻上，榻上庭前屹相向。
至尊含笑催赐金，圉人太仆皆惆怅。
弟子韩干早入室，亦能画马穷殊相。
干惟画肉不画骨，忍使骅骝气凋丧。
将军画善盖有神，偶逢佳士亦写真。
即今漂泊干戈际，屡貌寻常行路人。
途穷反遭俗眼白，世上未有如公贫。
但看古来盛名下，终日坎[土禀]缠其身。
`,
	`[32m题目:《偶题》[m
[33m作者:张耒（１０５２－１１１２）[m
相逢记得画桥头，花似精神柳似柔。
莫谓无情即无语，春风传意水传愁。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春晴怀故园海棠》[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m
竹边台榭水边亭，不要人随只独行。
乍暖柳条无气力，淡晴花影不分明。
一番过雨来幽径，无数新禽有喜声。
只欠翠纱红映肉，两年寒食负先生。
`,
	`[32m题目:《庆州败》[m
[33m作者:苏舜钦（１００８－１０４８）[m
无战王者师，有备军之志。
天下承平数十年，此语虽存人所弃。
今岁西戎背世盟，直随秋风寇边城。
屠杀熟户烧障堡，十万驰骋山岳倾。
国家防塞今有谁？官为承制乳臭儿。
酣觞大嚼乃事业，何尝识会兵之机？
符移火急搜卒乘，意谓就戮如缚尸。
未成一军已出战，驱逐急使缘［山佥］［山＋繁体“戏”字］。
马肥甲重士饱喘，虽有弓剑何所施。
连颠自欲堕深谷，虏骑笑指声嘻嘻。
一麾发伏雁行出，山下掩截成重围。
我军免胄乞死所，承制面缚交涕［氵夷］。
逡巡下令艺者全，争献小技歌且吹。
其余劓首放之去，东走矢液皆淋漓。
道无耳准若怪兽，不自愧耻犹生归！
守者沮气陷者苦，尽由主将之所为。
地机不见欲侥胜，羞辱中国堪伤悲。
`,
	`[32m《送李少府贬峡中王少府贬长沙》[m
[33m作者：高适[m
嗟君此别意如何，驻马衔杯问谪居。
巫峡啼猿数行泪，衡阳归雁几封书。
青枫江上秋帆远，白帝城边古木疏。
圣代即今多雨露，暂时分手莫踌躇。
`,
	`[32m题目:《襄邑道中》[m
[33m作者:陈与义（１０９０－１１３８）[m
飞花两岸照船红，百里榆堤半日风。
卧看满天云不动，不知云与我俱东。
`,
	`[32m《江南曲》[m
[33m作者：李益[m
嫁得瞿塘贾，朝朝误妾期。
早知潮有信，嫁与弄潮儿。
`,
	`[32m《蝉》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
本以高难饱，徒劳恨费声。
五更疏欲断，一树碧无情。
薄宦梗犹泛，故园芜已平。
烦君最相警，我亦举家清。
`,
	`[32m《闺怨》[m
[33m作者：王昌龄[m
闺中少妇不知愁，春日凝妆上翠楼。
忽见陌头杨柳色，悔教夫婿觅封侯。
`,
	`[32m题目:《雨晴》[m
[33m作者:陈与义（１０９０－１１３８）[m
天缺西南江面清，纤云不动小滩横。
墙头语鹊衣犹湿，楼外残雷气未平。
尽取微凉供稳睡，急搜奇句报新晴。
今宵绝胜无人共，卧看星河尽意明。
`,
	`[32m《观公孙大娘弟子舞剑器行・并序》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
大历二年十月十九日，夔府别驾元持宅，见临颍李十二娘
舞剑器，壮其蔚ꆼ，问其所师，曰：“余公孙大娘弟子也。”
开元三载，余尚童稚，记于郾城观公孙氏，舞剑器浑脱，
浏漓顿挫，独出冠时，自高头宜春梨园二伎坊内人洎外供奉，
晓是舞者，圣文神武皇帝初，公孙一人而已。
玉貌锦衣，况余白首，今兹弟子，亦非盛颜。
既辨其由来，知波澜莫二，抚事慷慨，聊为《剑器行》。
昔者吴人张旭，善草书帖，数常于邺县见公孙大娘
舞西河剑器，自此草书长进，豪荡感激，即公孙可知矣。
����
昔有佳人公孙氏，一舞剑器动四方。
观者如山色沮丧，天地为之久低昂。
霍如羿射九日落，矫如群帝骖龙翔。
来如雷霆收震怒，罢如江海凝清光。
绛唇珠袖两寂寞，晚有弟子传芬芳。
临颍美人在白帝，妙舞此曲神扬扬。
与余问答既有以，感时抚事增惋伤。
先帝侍女八千人，公孙剑器初第一。
五十年间似反掌，风尘鸿洞昏王室。
梨园子弟散如烟，女乐余姿映寒日。
金粟堆前木已拱，瞿塘石城草萧瑟。
玳ꆼ急管曲复终，乐极哀来月东出。
老夫不知其所往，足茧荒山转愁疾。
`,
	`[32m《山居秋暝》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
空山新雨后，天气晚来秋。
明月松间照，清泉石上流。
竹喧归浣女，莲动下渔舟。
随意春芳歇，王孙自可留。
`,
	`[32m《登金陵凤凰台》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
凤凰台上凤凰游，凤去台空江自流。
吴宫花草埋幽径，晋代衣冠成古丘。
三山半落青天外，二水中分白鹭洲。
总为浮云能蔽日，长安不见使人愁。
`,
	`[32m《哀王孙》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
长安城头头白乌，夜飞延秋门上呼。
又向人家啄大屋，屋底达官走避胡。
金鞭断折九马死，骨肉不待同驰驱。
腰下宝ꆼ青珊瑚，可怜王孙泣路隅。
问之不肯道姓名，但道困苦乞为奴。
已经百日窜荆棘，身上无有完肌肤。
高帝子孙尽隆准，龙种自与常人殊。
豺狼在邑龙在野，王孙善保千金躯。
不敢长语临交衢，且为王孙立斯须。
昨夜东风吹血腥，东来橐驼满旧都。
朔方健儿好身手，昔何勇锐今何愚。
窃闻天子已传位，圣德北服南单于。
花门ꆼ面请雪耻，慎勿出口他人狙。
哀哉王孙慎勿疏，五陵佳气无时无。
`,
	`[32m题目:《孤山寺瑞上人房写望》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
底处凭栏思眇然，孤山塔后阁西偏。
阴沉画轴林间寺，零落棋枰葑上田。
秋景有时飞独鸟，夕阳无事起寒烟。
迟留更爱吾庐近，只待春来看雪天。
`,
	`[32m题目:《烛》[m
[33m作者:穆修（９６９－１０３２）[m
一箔珠帘掩映垂，房栊轻染麝香枝。
佳人盼影横哀柱，狎客分光缀艳诗。
禁锁翠明初唱漏，官窗红短尚围棋。
长宵且秉欢游去，无限风光见古辞。
`,
	`[32m《宫词》[m
[33m作者：朱庆余[m
寂寂花时闭院门，美人相并立琼轩。
含情欲说宫中事，鹦鹉前头不敢言。
`,
	`[32m《野望》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
西山白雪三城戍，南浦清江万里桥。
海内风尘诸弟隔，天涯涕泪一身遥。
惟将迟暮供多病，未有涓埃答圣朝。
跨马出郊时极目，不堪人事日萧条。
`,
	`[32m《洛阳女儿行》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
洛阳女儿对门居，才可容颜十五余。
良人玉勒乘骢马，侍女金盘脍鲤鱼。
画阁朱楼尽相望，红桃绿柳垂檐向。
罗帏送上七香车，宝扇迎归九华帐。
狂夫富贵在青春，意气骄奢剧季伦。
自怜碧玉亲教舞，不惜珊瑚持与人。
春窗曙灭九微火，九微片片飞花ꆼ。
戏罢曾无理曲时，妆成只是熏香坐。
城中相识尽繁华，日夜经过赵李家。
谁怜越女颜如玉，贫贱江头自浣沙。
`,
	`[32m《秋夜曲》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
桂魄初生秋露微，轻罗已薄未更衣。
银筝夜久殷勤弄，心怯空房不忍归。
`,
	`[32m《送梓州李使君》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
万壑树参天，千山响杜鹃。
山中一夜雨，树杪百重泉。
汉女输ꆼ布，巴人讼芋田。
文翁翻教授，不敢倚先贤。
`,
	`[32m题目:《江村晚眺》[m
[33m作者:戴复古（１１６７－？）[m
江头落日照平沙，潮退渔船阁岸斜。
白鸟一双临水立，见人惊起入芦花。
`,
	`[32m《章台夜思》[m
[33m作者：韦庄[m
清瑟怨遥夜，绕弦风雨哀。
孤灯闻楚角，残月下章台。
芳草已云暮，故人殊未来。
乡书不可寄，秋雁又南回。
`,
	`[32m《无题》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
昨夜星辰昨夜风，画楼西畔桂堂东。
身无彩凤双飞翼，心有灵犀一点通。
隔座送钩春酒暖，分曹射覆蜡灯红。
嗟余听鼓应官去，走马兰台类转蓬。
`,
	`[32m《金陵酒肆留别》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
风吹柳花满店香，吴姬压酒唤客尝。
金陵子弟来相送，欲行不行各尽觞。
请君试问东流水，别意与之谁短长。
`,
	`[32m题目:《山园小梅》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
众芳摇落独暄妍，占尽风情向小园。
疏影横斜水清浅，暗香浮动月黄昏。
霜禽欲下先偷眼，粉蝶如知合断魂。
幸有微吟可相狎，不须檀板共金尊。
`,
	`[32m题目:《弈棋二首呈任渐》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m

            其一

偶无公事负朝暄，三百枯棋共一樽。
坐隐不知岩穴乐，手谈胜与俗人言。
簿书堆积尘生案，车马淹留客在门。
战胜将骄疑必败，果然终取敌兵翻。


            其二

偶无公事客休时，席上谈兵校两棋。
心似蛛丝游碧落，身如蜩甲化枯枝。
湘东一目诚甘死，天下中分尚可持。
谁谓吾徒犹爱日，参横月落不曾知。
`,
	`[32m《夜思》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
床前明月光，疑是地上霜。
举头望明月，低头思故乡。
`,
	`[32m《观公孙大娘弟子舞剑器行・并序》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
大历二年十月十九日，夔府别驾元持宅，见临颍李十二娘
舞剑器，壮其蔚ꆼ，问其所师，曰：“余公孙大娘弟子也。”
开元三载，余尚童稚，记于郾城观公孙氏，舞剑器浑脱，
浏漓顿挫，独出冠时，自高头宜春梨园二伎坊内人洎外供奉，
晓是舞者，圣文神武皇帝初，公孙一人而已。
玉貌锦衣，况余白首，今兹弟子，亦非盛颜。
既辨其由来，知波澜莫二，抚事慷慨，聊为《剑器行》。
昔者吴人张旭，善草书帖，数常于邺县见公孙大娘
舞西河剑器，自此草书长进，豪荡感激，即公孙可知矣。
����
昔有佳人公孙氏，一舞剑器动四方。
观者如山色沮丧，天地为之久低昂。
霍如羿射九日落，矫如群帝骖龙翔。
来如雷霆收震怒，罢如江海凝清光。
绛唇珠袖两寂寞，晚有弟子传芬芳。
临颍美人在白帝，妙舞此曲神扬扬。
与余问答既有以，感时抚事增惋伤。
先帝侍女八千人，公孙剑器初第一。
五十年间似反掌，风尘鸿洞昏王室。
梨园子弟散如烟，女乐余姿映寒日。
金粟堆前木已拱，瞿塘石城草萧瑟。
玳ꆼ急管曲复终，乐极哀来月东出。
老夫不知其所往，足茧荒山转愁疾。
`,
	`[32m《宿桐庐江寄广陵旧游》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
山暝听猿愁，沧江急夜流。
风鸣两岸叶，月照一孤舟。
建德非吾土，维扬忆旧游。
还将两行泪，遥寄海西头。
`,
	`[32m《自夏口至鹦鹉洲夕望岳阳寄源中丞》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
汀洲无浪复无烟，楚客相思益渺然。
汉口夕阳斜渡鸟，洞庭秋水远连天。
孤城背岭寒吹角，独树临江夜泊船。
贾谊上书忧汉室，长沙谪去古今怜。
`,
	`[32m《九月登望仙台呈刘明府容》[m
[33m作者：崔曙[m
汉文皇帝有高台，此日登临曙色开。
三晋云山皆北向，二陵风雨自东来。
关门令尹谁能识，河上仙翁去不回。
且欲近寻彭泽宰，陶然共醉菊花杯。
`,
	`[32m《破山寺后禅院》[m
[33m作者：常建[m
清晨入古寺，初日照高林。
曲径通幽处，禅房花木深。
山光悦鸟性，潭影空人心。
万籁此俱寂，惟闻钟磬音。
`,
	`[32m《江南逢李龟年》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
岐王宅里寻常见，崔九堂前几度闻。
正是江南好风景，落花时节又逢君。
`,
	`[32m《晨诣超师院读禅经》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
汲井漱寒齿，清心拂尘服。
闲持贝叶书，步出东斋读。
真源了无取，妄迹世所逐。
遗言冀可冥，缮性何由熟。
道人庭宇静，苔色连深竹。
日出雾露余，青松如膏沐。
澹然离言说，悟悦心自足。
`,
	`[32m《赠别・其一》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
娉娉袅袅十三余，豆蔻梢头二月初。
春风十里扬州路，卷上珠帘总不如。
`,
	`[32m《登金陵凤凰台》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
凤凰台上凤凰游，凤去台空江自流。
吴宫花草埋幽径，晋代衣冠成古丘。
三山半落青天外，二水中分白鹭洲。
总为浮云能蔽日，长安不见使人愁。
`,
	`[32m《瑶池》[m
[33m作者：李商隐[m
瑶池阿母绮窗开，黄竹歌声动地哀。
八骏日行三万里，穆王何事不重来。
`,
	`[32m《黄鹤楼》[m
[33m作者：崔颢[m
昔人已乘黄鹤去，此地空余黄鹤楼。
黄鹤一去不复返，白云千载空悠悠。
晴川历历汉阳树，芳草萋萋鹦鹉洲。
日暮乡关何处是，烟波江上使人愁。
`,
	`[32m题目:《寄黄几复》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
我居北海君南海，寄雁传书谢不能。
桃李春风一杯酒，江湖夜雨十年灯。
持家但有四立壁，治国不蕲三折肱。
想得读书头已白，隔溪猿哭瘴烟滕。
`,
	`[32m《早发白帝城》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
朝辞白帝彩云间，千里江陵一日还。
两岸猿声啼不住，轻舟已过万重山。
`,
	`[32m《送崔九》[m
[33m作者：裴迪[m
归山深浅去，须尽丘壑美。
莫学武陵人，暂游桃源里。
`,
	`[32m《郡斋雨中与诸文士燕集》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
兵卫森画戟，燕寝凝清香。
海上风雨至，逍遥池阁凉。
烦疴近消散，嘉宾复满堂。
自惭居处崇，未睹斯民康。
理会是非遣，性达形迹忘。
鲜肥属时禁，蔬果幸见尝。
俯饮一杯酒，仰聆金玉章。
神欢体自轻，意欲凌风翔。
吴中盛文史，群彦今汪洋。
方知大藩地，岂曰财赋强。
`,
	`[32m《寄人》[m
[33m作者：张泌[m
别梦依依到谢家，小廊回合曲阑斜。
多情只有春庭月，犹为离人照落花。
`,
	`[32m《清平调・其一》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
云想衣裳花想容，春风拂槛露华浓。
若非群玉山头见，会向瑶台月下逢。
`,
	`[32m题目:《和子由渑池怀旧》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
人生到处知何似，应似飞鸿踏雪泥：
泥上偶然留指爪，鸿飞那复计东西。
老僧已死成新塔，坏壁无由见旧题。
往日崎岖还记否，路上人困蹇驴嘶。
`,
	`[32m题目:《梅花绝句》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
闻道梅花坼晓风，雪堆遍满四山中。
何方可化身千亿，一树梅花一放翁。
`,
	`[32m《九月登望仙台呈刘明府容》[m
[33m作者：崔曙[m
汉文皇帝有高台，此日登临曙色开。
三晋云山皆北向，二陵风雨自东来。
关门令尹谁能识，河上仙翁去不回。
且欲近寻彭泽宰，陶然共醉菊花杯。
`,
	`[32m题目:《和子由踏青》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
春风陌上惊微尘，游人初乐岁华新。
人闲正好路旁饮，麦短未怕游车轮。
城中居人厌城郭，喧阗晓出空四邻。
歌鼓惊山草木动，箪瓢散野乌鸢驯。
何人聚众称道人，遮道卖符色怒嗔。
宜蚕使汝茧如瓮，宜畜使汝羊如□［鹿下菌字去草头］。
路人未必信此语，强为买符禳新春。
道人得钱径沽酒，醉倒自谓吾符神。
`,
	`[32m《已凉》[m
[33m作者：韩翎[m
碧阑干外绣帘垂，猩色屏风画折枝。
八尺龙须方锦褥，已凉天气未寒时。
`,
	`[32m《岁暮归南山》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
北阙休上书，南山归敝庐。
不才明主弃，多病故人疏。
白发催年老，青阳逼岁除。
永怀愁不寐，松月夜窗虚。
`,
	`[32m《送孟浩然之广陵》[m
[33m作者：李白[m
故人西辞黄鹤楼，烟花三月下扬州。
孤帆远影碧空尽，惟见长江天际流。
`,
	`[32m《登楼》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
花近高楼伤客心，万方多难此登临。
锦江春色来天地，玉垒浮云变古今。
北极朝廷终不改，西山寇盗莫相侵。
可怜后主还祠庙，日暮聊为梁父吟。
`,
	`[32m题目:《惠崇春江晚景》[m
[33m作者:苏轼（１０３６－１１０１）[m
竹外桃花三两枝，春江水暖鸭先知。
萎蒿满地芦芽短，正是河豚欲上时。
`,
	`[32m《赠郭给事》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
洞门高阁霭余晖，桃李阴阴柳絮飞。
禁里疏钟官舍晚，省中啼鸟吏人稀。
晨摇玉佩趋金殿，夕奉天书拜琐闱。
强欲从君无那老，将因卧病解朝衣。
`,
	`[32m《将赴吴兴登乐游原》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
清时有味是无能，闲爱孤云静爱僧。
欲把一麾江海去，乐游原上望昭陵。
`,
	`[32m题目:《孤山寺瑞上人房写望》[m
[33m作者:林逋（９６７－１０２８）[m
底处凭栏思眇然，孤山塔后阁西偏。
阴沉画轴林间寺，零落棋枰葑上田。
秋景有时飞独鸟，夕阳无事起寒烟。
迟留更爱吾庐近，只待春来看雪天。
`,
	`[32m《贫女》[m
[33m作者：秦韬玉[m
蓬门未识绮罗香，拟托良媒益自伤。
谁爱风流高格调，共怜时世俭梳妆。
敢将十指夸针巧，不把双眉斗画长。
苦恨年年压金线，为他人作嫁衣裳。
`,
	`[32m《琴歌》[m
[33m作者：李颀[m
主人有酒欢今夕，请奏鸣琴广陵客。
月照城头乌半飞，霜凄万树风入衣。
铜炉华烛烛增辉，初弹渌水后楚妃。
一声已动物皆静，四座无言星欲稀。
清淮奉使千余里，敢告云山从此始。
`,
	`[32m《送上人》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
孤云将野鹤，岂向人间住。
莫买沃洲山，时人已知处。
`,
	`[32m题目:《初入淮河》（选一）[m
[33m作者:杨万里（１１２７－１２０６）[m

船离洪泽岸头沙，人到淮河意不佳。
何必桑乾方是远，中流以北即天涯！
`,
	`[32m《晨诣超师院读禅经》[m
[33m作者：柳宗元[m
汲井漱寒齿，清心拂尘服。
闲持贝叶书，步出东斋读。
真源了无取，妄迹世所逐。
遗言冀可冥，缮性何由熟。
道人庭宇静，苔色连深竹。
日出雾露余，青松如膏沐。
澹然离言说，悟悦心自足。
`,
	`[32m题目:《牧童诗》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
骑牛远远过前村，短笛横吹隔陇闻。
多少长安名利客，机关用尽不如君。
`,
	`[32m《贼平后送人北归》[m
[33m作者：司空曙[m
世乱同南去，时清独北还。
他乡生白发，旧国见青山。
晓月过残垒，繁星宿故关。
寒禽与衰草，处处伴愁颜。
`,
	`[32m《集灵台・其二》[m
[33m作者：张祜[m
虢国夫人承主恩，平明骑马入宫门。
却嫌脂粉污颜色，淡扫峨眉朝至尊。
`,
	`[32m《秋日登吴公台上寺远眺》[m
[33m作者：刘长卿[m
古台摇落后，秋入望乡心。
野寺来人少，云峰隔水深。
夕阳依旧垒，寒磬满空林。
惆怅南朝事，长江独自今。
`,
	`[32m题目:《牧童诗》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
骑牛远远过前村，短笛横吹隔陇闻。
多少长安名利客，机关用尽不如君。
`,
	`[32m题目:《春居杂兴》二首[m
[33m作者:王禹偁（９５４－１００１）[m

            其一

两株桃杏映篱斜，妆点商山副使家，
何事春风容不得，和莺吹折数枝花。

            其二

春云如兽复如禽，日照风吹浅又深。
谁道无心便容与，亦同翻覆小人心。
`,
	`[32m《书边事》[m
[33m作者：张乔[m
调角断清秋，征人倚戌楼。
春风对青冢，白日落梁州。
大漠无兵阻，穷边有客游。
蕃情似此水，长愿向南流。
`,
	`[32m题目:《沈园》[m
[33m作者:陆游（１１２５－１２１０）[m
城上斜阳画角哀，沈园非复旧池台，
伤心桥下春波绿，曾是惊鸿照影来。

梦断香消四十年，沈园柳老不吹绵。
此身行作稽山土，犹吊遗踪一泫然。
`,
	`[32m《贼平后送人北归》[m
[33m作者：司空曙[m
世乱同南去，时清独北还。
他乡生白发，旧国见青山。
晓月过残垒，繁星宿故关。
寒禽与衰草，处处伴愁颜。
`,
	`[32m《长干行・其一》[m
[33m作者：崔颢[m
君家何处住，妾住在横塘。
停船暂借问，或恐是同乡。
`,
	`[32m《夏日南亭怀辛大》[m
[33m作者：孟浩然[m
山光忽西落，池月渐东上。
散发乘夕凉，开轩卧闲敞。
荷风送香气，竹露滴清响。
欲取鸣琴弹，恨无知音赏。
感此怀故人，中宵劳梦想。
`,
	`[32m《征人怨》[m
[33m作者：柳中庸[m
岁岁金河复玉关，朝朝马策与刀环。
三春白雪归青冢，万里黄河绕黑山。
`,
	`[32m《贼退示官吏・并序》[m
[33m作者：元结[m
癸卯岁西原贼入道州，焚烧杀掠，几尽而去。
明年，贼又攻永州破邵，不犯此州边鄙而退。
岂力能制敌欤？盖蒙其伤怜而已。
诸使何为忍苦征敛，故作诗一篇以示官吏。
����
昔岁逢太平，山林二十年。
泉源在庭户，洞壑当门前。
井税有常期，日晏犹得眠。
忽然遭世变，数岁亲戎旃。
今来典斯郡，山夷又纷然。
城小贼不屠，人贫伤可怜。
是以陷邻境，此州独见全。
使臣将王命，岂不如贼焉。
令彼征敛者，迫之如火煎。
谁能绝人命，以作时世贤。
思欲委符节，引竿自刺船。
将家就鱼麦，归老江湖边。
`,
	`[32m《寄全椒山中道士》[m
[33m作者：韦应物[m
今朝郡斋冷，忽念山中客。
涧底束荆薪，归来煮白石。
欲恃一瓢酒，远慰风雨夕。
落叶满空山，何处寻行迹。
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其二》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
昔日戏言身后事，今朝都到眼前来。
衣裳已施行看尽，针线犹存未忍开。
尚想旧情怜婢仆，也曾因梦送钱财。
诚知此恨人人有，贫贱夫妻百事哀。
`,
	`[32m《寻陆鸿渐不遇》[m
[33m作者：僧皎然[m
移家虽带郭，野径入桑麻。
近种篱边菊，秋来未著花。
扣门无犬吠，欲去问西家。
报道山中去，归来每日斜。
`,
	`[32m《泊秦淮》[m
[33m作者：杜牧[m
烟笼寒水月笼沙，夜泊秦淮近酒家。
商女不知亡国恨，隔江犹唱后庭花。
`,
	`[32m题目:《书湖阴先生壁》[m
[33m作者:王安石（１０２１－１０８６）[m
茅檐长扫静无苔，花木成畦手自栽。
一水护田将绿绕，两山排闼送青来。
`,
	`[32m《春望》[m
[33m作者：杜甫[m
国破山河在，城春草木深。
感时花溅泪，恨别鸟惊心。
烽火连三月，家书抵万金。
白头搔更短，浑欲不胜簪。
`,
	`[32m《遣悲怀・其一》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
谢公最小偏怜女，自嫁黔娄百事乖。
顾我无衣搜荩箧，泥他沽酒拔金钗。
野蔬充膳甘长藿，落叶添薪仰古槐。
今日俸钱过十万，与君营奠复营斋。
`,
	`[32m《金缕衣》[m
[33m作者：杜秋娘[m
劝君莫惜金缕衣，劝君惜取少年时。
花开堪折直须折，莫待无花空折枝。
`,
	`[32m《阙题》[m
[33m作者：刘脊虚[m
道由白云尽，春与清溪长。
时有落花至，远随流水香。
闲门向山路，深柳读书堂。
幽映每白日，清辉照衣裳。
`,
	`[32m《鹿柴》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
空山不见人，但闻人语响。
返影入深林，复照青苔上。
`,
	`[32m《马嵬坡》[m
[33m作者：郑畋[m
玄宗回马杨妃死，云雨难忘日月新。
终是圣明天子事，景阳宫井又何人。
`,
	`[32m《奉和中书舍人贾至早朝大明宫》[m
[33m作者：岑参[m
鸡鸣紫陌曙光寒，莺啭皇州春色阑。
金阙晓钟开万户，玉阶仙仗拥千官。
花迎剑佩星初落，柳拂旌旗露未干。
独有凤凰池上客，阳春一曲和皆难。
`,
	`[32m题目:《新开棋轩呈元珍表臣》[m
[33m作者:欧阳修（１００７－１０７２）[m
竹树日已滋，轩窗渐幽兴。
人间与世远，鸟语知境静。
春光霭欲布，山色寒尚映。
独收万籁心，于此一枰竞。
`,
	`[32m题目:《烛》[m
[33m作者:穆修（９６９－１０３２）[m
一箔珠帘掩映垂，房栊轻染麝香枝。
佳人盼影横哀柱，狎客分光缀艳诗。
禁锁翠明初唱漏，官窗红短尚围棋。
长宵且秉欢游去，无限风光见古辞。
`,
	`[32m题目:《病起荆江亭即事》[m
[33m作者:黄庭坚（１０４５－１１０５）[m
翰墨场中老伏波，菩提坊里病维摩。
近人积水无鸥鹭，时有归牛浮鼻过。

闭门觅句陈无己，对客挥毫秦少游。
正字不知温饱未，西风吹泪古藤州。
`,
	`[32m《哥舒歌》[m
[33m作者：西鄙人[m
北斗七星高，哥舒夜带刀。
至今窥牧马，不敢过临洮。
`,
	`[32m《渭城曲》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
渭城朝雨ꆼ轻尘，客舍青青柳色新。
劝君更尽一杯酒，西出阳关无故人。
`,
	`[32m题目:《三衢道中》[m
[33m作者:曾几（１０８４－１１６６）[m
梅子黄时日日晴，小溪泛尽却山行。
绿阴不减来时路，添得黄鹂四五声。
`,
	`[32m题目:《泪》[m
[33m作者:杨亿（９６４－１０２０）[m
锦字梭停掩夜机，白头吟若怨新知。
谁闻陇水回肠后，更听巴猿拭袂时。
汉殿微凉金屋闭，魏宫清晓玉壶欹。
多情不待悲秋气，只是伤春鬓已丝。
`,
	`[32m《汉江临泛》[m
[33m作者：王维[m
楚塞三湘接，荆门九派通。
江流天地外，山色有无中。
郡邑浮前浦，波澜动远空。
襄阳好风日，留醉与山翁。
`,
	`[32m《游子吟》[m
[33m作者：孟郊[m
慈母手中线，游子身上衣。
临行密密缝，意恐迟迟归。
谁言寸草心，报得三春晖。
`,
	`[32m《行宫》[m
[33m作者：元稹[m
寥落古行宫，宫花寂寞红。
白头宫女在，闲坐说玄宗。
`,
}
